Emily - September - October 1944

Emily's mind was with Nixon as she quietly crept down towards the kitchen. He had looked so disheveled wandering the halls like a madman. Emily worried that he was struggling to sleep again.

She flicked on a small lamp just inside the kitchen. It provided enough light to guide the kettle. Within a moment Emily stood beside the stove waiting for the water to boil. She wanted to be careful to pull it off the burner just before it whistled. The last thing she wanted was to wake the entire house of officers before they left England for good.

A slight draft blew through the window panes just above the sink and Emily was glad she had thought to bring the tartan blanket from the foot of her bed. As she waited, she peered out the window expecting to see nothing but black. Emily imagined all the creatures that may be roaming about in the night. She had seen plenty of deer, rabbits, and even a few foxes since coming to Aldbourne.

Instead of woodland animals, Emily made out the faint silhouette of someone sitting on the bench only a few yards from the manor. She squinted through the pane wondering if it was one of the officers. A speck of orange illuminated the raven night and Emily recognized the posture of the man smoking. She knew that figure, she had sat beside him for hours.

Emily pulled the kettle off of the stove and filled two mugs. Clutching her blanket with one hand, Emily balanced the steaming mugs against her chest. The ceramics weren't hot through the wool blanket but she walked quickly outside anyways, afraid the tea would cool once it hit the night air.

"Hey Joe," Emily approached Joe Toye, adjusting her grip on the mugs. It was chilly outside, but not so cold that the blanket wouldn't suffice for warmth.

The bench Joe sat on was perfect for over looking the low swooping valley below. Emily could smell the smoke from his cigarette who's tip glowed each time he sucked at it.

"Am I disturbing you?" She asked.

"Emily, hey," Joe hardly turned to look over her shoulder, "nah, take a seat."

Emily circled the bench and sat down beside him gazing off into the darkness. She held out one of the hot mugs, "tea?" she asked.

Joe grimaced, but accepted the cup, "I don't know why the tom's are so moony over this stuff," he said taking a tentative drink.

Emily chuckled, "you don't have to drink it."

"Eh it's okay, thanks," Joe flicked his cigarette to the ground.

"So what're you doing out here?" Emily asked.

"I don't know, just couldn't sleep."

"Feeling anxious about tomorrow?" Emily kept her voice gentle. Something about Joe allowed her to immediately let her guard down. She felt totally comfortable around him but that didn't mean he was comfortable around her.

"A little bit, I don't know."

"That's reasonable to feel that way," Emily said. She didn't want to push him.

Joe exhaled deeply. They sat in companionable silence for a while. A breeze rattled the leaves in the trees as if warning them of their fate. Emily much preferred the cold to the heat. She was perfectly content cocooned in her blanket with the cool air turning her cheeks red.

"Would you call me a coward if I told you I was scared?" Joe's voice was husky.

Emily looked at him in surprise. "Not at all Joe! Not one bit." Even in the dark Emily could see Joe's Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed.

"Is there something specific you're worried about?" Emily asked gently.

"I don't wanna let anyone down," Joe confessed into the night.

"Joe, why would you say that? You're not going to let anyone down. You're one of the best soldiers in Easy Company."

Joe chuckled humorlessly, "I have a hard time believing that."

"It's true," Emily kept her voice low, "ask any guy here. You're the one they want in their corner. You're the one I want in my corner." Emily wasn't just saying that to make him feel better. She had gotten to know Joe well since Normandy and there were few people in the world she trusted more. Joe was the kind of guy who would be there for you without question.

"Ugh," Joe groaned. He ran a thick hand across his face. "Fuck. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing here, why I deserve to be with the best of the best."

Emilys heart ached for him. She knew exactly how he was feeling. There were few feelings worse than doubting your own place. It was incredibly lonely.

"Because you're one of the best," she said firmly. Joe laughed bitterly but otherwise accepted her compliment.

"I honestly wonder what I'm doing here sometimes too," Emily admitted.

"Yeah?" Joe looked at her properly for the first time all night.

"Yeah. I came over here a completely different person and now," she shrugged, "now sometimes I don't know who I am or what I'm doing."

"You're the map girl," Joe said matter-of-factly.

Emily laughed, "oh is that what I am?"

Joe allowed himself a little smile, "I mean that's what we call you. That's one of your nicknames at least."

Emily's mouth dropped in mock shock, she was curious, "What? How did I not know I had nicknames! What else am I known by?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes!"

"Mrs. Nixon."

A shiver ran through Emily's body and her face grew hot.

"Sorry if that embarrasses ya," Joe said.

"Why Mrs. Nixon?" Emily tried to keep her voice light. "You know there's a real Mrs. Nixon right?"

Joe shrugged, "yeah, but you're like Captain Nixon's work wife. You guys are always together workin' on somethin'," he said innocently.

Emily's muscles relaxed slightly at his explanation. "I prefer map girl," she said.

"Yeah me too, you got me all set up for Normandy."

"I'm glad you made it back," Emily said sincerely.

They exchanged a look that only two people who had been to hell and back could interpret. "Yeah," he said.

Emily inhaled deeply, pulling as much of the outside air into her lungs as she could. "I'm going to go back to bed. You should probably think about getting some sleep too."

"Yeah," Joe said morosely. His thousand-yard stare was back, "yeah."

"Okay Joe," Emily patted him tenderly on the shoulder, "good luck tomorrow."

"'Night."

Emily made her way back to her bedroom where she fell into a restless sleep.

The journey to Holland was much more grueling than the trip to France had been. The action was less concentrated and it took weeks for Emily to be reunited with her paratroopers. Operation Market Garden had gone poorly and her route was diverted towards Arnhem rather than the over-ambitious point across the Rhine. The 101st had managed to secure a few bridges and roadways but the initial encounter near Eindhoven had resulted in Easy Company's retreat.

When Emily finally reconnected with the 101st in Schoonderlogt she sought Nixon out for instructions. He and Winters were standing outside of the building where Easy's second platoon was bunked up. She noticed the spot of raw red flesh on Nixon's forehead as soon as she saw him.

"What's that?" she demanded, "wait and why do you smell like urine?"
Nixon shot Winters a dirty look but didn't offer any explanation. Winters retold a rather jarring close call Nixon had outside Eindhoven. As Easy Company moved to retreat a bullet ricocheted off his helmet, leaving behind a burn at the top of his forehead. For all intents and purposes, Nixon was fine. He had only been left with the small red scar which was expected to fade away. Nixon thought so little of his brush with death that he had the gall to be annoyed with Winters for informing Emily about the incident.

Winters, cool as ever, was uninhibited by Nixon's attitude and explained matter of factly how shaken both he and Nixon had been in the moment.

"I'm fine, it's fine. It's not some dramatic war story!" Nixon protested.

"No," Winters conceded, "I'm just telling her how it happened."

Emily tried to match the candid energy of the men but deep down something stirred in her: panic. She wanted to scold Nixon for not retreating quicker. She wanted to ask him so many questions like if the burn had caused him any pain. What would she have done if the bullet had penetrated the metal? She would've lost him. It was in that moment she realized she would not be able to cope if he had been killed.

"I'm fine," Nixon repeated firmly, looking directly in her eyes.

Emily cleared her throat, "I know. You're standing here aren't you?"

"Exactly. Plus, you're lucky you didn't make it here earlier. 2nd and 3rd Battalions' C.P.s were hit in force. Major Horton was killed."

"What?" Emily asked in shock, her stomach rolled with fear.

"Yeah, glad you weren't working when the Germans hit," Winters added.

Emily had missed out on so much. Obviously, the army had gotten her over as quickly as they could but she wasn't priority personnel and the roads were difficult to travel. She cursed her femininity. If she had been a soldier she would have been able to slip back to 2nd Battalion with greater ease. Every day throughout her journey she had encountered men who were AWOL from the hospital, trekking back to their companies, and it didn't take them nearly a month.

"By the way, Em, I think we're gonna need you later. Dick and I have got to go meet Strayer and I'm sure he'll have a project for me," Nixon said.

"I'll be at HQ anyways," Emily said, "I have some things to set up anyways."

Nixon nodded at her, "thanks." He and Winters jumped in a jeep and drove off.

Emily took the chance to take in her surroundings. Everywhere around her soldiers were bustling about unloading trucks and dodging jeeps. The dirt roads were sodden with mud. Emily looked down at her boots. This wasn't the first time she was grateful that they were part of her uniform. She began to make her way down the road past thatched grooves and stone buildings.

As she walked she made various plans in her mind for what she wanted to get done once she made it the Battalion HQ. It was difficult reconnecting with her team after so much time apart. There was no saying what they had started working on, and Emily had little clue as to the recent developments in their corner of the war. The first couple of hours would inevitably be spent playing catch up. It was an extra hurdle for her to overcome, all because she would never be authorized for jump training. Let's keep the bitter thoughts to a minimum, she chided herself. There was no place for negative thinking in a war zone.

She made it to the command post to find it bustling with officers. Colonel Sink was barking orders in the background. Emily slipped in as inconspicuously as possible and found her way to a side room where other intelligence staff members were working.

"Hi Larkin," she said to a young S-1 working over an open chest. He was pulling out stacks of papers and re-arranging them on a nearby desk.

"Hi Miss Rooney," he briefly looked up to greet her.

"What's the most recent status on things?" she asked him.

"Um, we'll be in this area for a while. Patrols are being sent out to monitor the area while we get situated. A few have already successfully taken some key crossroad points."

Emily nodded, "thanks." Larkin was concise. It was enough information for Emily to begin to work off of. She located a map of the area and began to review the intersections surrounding Schoonderlogt and outside of Arnhem.

"Has anyone been tracking what's been secured?" Emily asked. Larkin handed her another version of the map she was looking at with few places marked in red ink. "Thanks!" Emily accepted the map.

"Okay," Nixon clapped his hands together sharply, announcing his entrance, "we've got some work to do. We're assisting the British Lt. Colonel Dobie here with rescuing a bunch of his men." Lt. Colonel Dobie stepped in behind Nixon.

"Where are they?" Emily asked looking up from her map.

"15 miles north of the river." Emily tracked the map as he spoke, "Easy company will meet them on the riverbank with boats."

"What do you need from us?" Emily asked Nixon.

"We need to pinpoint where exactly to place the boats. Also, we need to take a look at the enemy dispositions and area maps."

Larkin directed Nixon and Dobie to the dispositions as Emily sat by feeling somewhat useless. She hadn't yet familiarized herself with this intelligence room and she couldn't help but feel somewhat embarrassed that she wasn't the one confidently assisting Nixon. She could not afford to slip, not now.

The rescue mission, known as Operation Pegasus, was more than successful. It took three trips but Easy Company was able to get all of the Brits across the Rhine without incident. That night Emily could hear the men cheering from the long thatched building down the road. The allied men were celebrating another day of life in their godforsaken world and it made Emily smile to think of their joy, no matter how fleeting.

But tragedy struck soon after. A jumpy private shot Moose Heyliger while on guard. Welsh had arrived at the scene. The day after the event Emily could tell Welsh was shaken. His face was gaunt with exhaustion and worry. Emily's first instinct was to comfort him, at least in the way she would have before Normandy. But Nixon's words from months ago rang in her head.

Since then, Emily had become self-conscious of her friendship with Harry. Heading Nixon's words she had distanced herself somewhat from the engaged man; not that he really seemed to notice. And to her surprise, she hadn't really missed him. He was still a happy face to see around and she felt an obligation to be there for him in moments he was hurting. But she had realized that she didn't crave his company, no more than she craved George's or any of her other friends. Welsh was nice to have around but Emily didn't pine for him like she thought she should've if she were truly in love.

The weeks passed and the weather grew colder in Holland. One day Emily was reviewing the allies' advance deeper into Belgium when a quick question came up. She decided to seek out Nixon to see if he could help direct her. He wasn't in his office so she walked down the hallway to Winters' office which was her best guess as to where Nixon might be. The glass-paned door was open but she could hear voices conversing inside so she hung back. The office was occupied by more than just Nixon and Winters. A moment later, Bill Guarnere exited the office and Winters assistant closed the office door. "Hiya sweetheart," Bill said as he passed her. Emily smiled warmly at him then moved to approach the door. As she drew closer she could hear Nixon and Welsh conversing with Winters.

"I'm outta here, I'm going to Rheims." She heard Welsh's voice through the thin door.

"Strayer will be in London for at least another week for Lt. Colonel Dobie's wedding." Nixon was speaking now, "I personally am heading back to Aldbourne to look up a certain young lady."

Emily's stomach sunk with Nixon's words. She hadn't realized he was still in touch with the woman he had been seeing in Aldbourne. There was no explanation for her feeling but the idea of Nixon traveling so far back to see his lover filled Emily with rage. What was he doing wasting his time on that woman? He was married for christ's sake, why was this woman worth compromising that?

"May I help you?" Winter's assistant asked.

Emily looked at him blankly, "uh, no, actually, never mind." Clutching her padfolio closer to her chest she turned on her heel and marched back down the hallway.