Chapter Twenty Three
The small group stood on the cliffside and watched, nervously, as the boat made its way across the waves towards them.
'I hate those ruddy things,' MacGinty muttered, his eyes focused on the two dark, cloaked shapes in the boat. 'Why can't we transport the wolf back to the ministry and kill it there, when the time comes? It's not right - making us go to it .'
'Shh, you fool,' Bloom hushed him, casting a sidewards glance at the one witch in their midst, Millicent Bagnold - the Minister for Magic herself. 'We can't risk it escaping while it's being transported.'
Bagnold ignored them - and rustled her newspaper, pretending she couldn't hear their complaints.
'Well - I'm not coming back for the execution,' MacGinty said. 'I'll set this thing up - but that's it. I'm not coming back.'
'McNair's volunteered to swing the axe on the night itself.'
MacGinty snorted. 'He would.'
...
They fell silent as the boat reached the shore - and braced themselves for the wave of misery and despair that they knew would wash over them as soon as they came into close contact with the monstrous guards of Azkaban.
It would be even worse once they reached the prison itself - surrounded by dementors and listening to the anguished screams of the inmates … Bloom was extremely glad that he had very little cause, in his career, to visit the island often. But when he was forced to - to attend the execution of a werewolf - it always came as a surprise to him that an execution was even necessary.
He didn't understand how every last one of the prisoners in there did not turn their face to the wall and simply die from the pain of being there within days of their arrival. He didn't understand how the wolves lasted until the next full moon. It was beyond comprehension that some wizards lived for years in there.
Every time he went, he left breathless and shaking and didn't feel like himself again for weeks afterwards.
...
But they had a wolf to put down, and they had to get its restraints fixed into place before the night of the full moon. And this time - since this wolf was so dangerous, a traitor and a Death Eater as well as a beast - they had the Minister for Magic with them to check on their preparations.
He looked at her uneasily, she was almost completely hidden behind her copy of the Daily Prophet and looked supremely unconcerned at the situation she found herself in. But then he noticed - her hands trembled ever so slightly as she turned the pages.
Even the Minister herself wished she was elsewhere.
High in his tower, Sirius stared out of his window - feeling sapped of all energy. It had been days since he had determined not to transform into Padfoot, since he had decided to suffer as Moony had to suffer - and all this time spent with the full range of his human emotions was leaving him weak and shaky.
He had dreamed of Moony last night. He had dreamed they were back at Hogwarts - and it was just the three of them - himself, Remus and James - and it was a full moon and they were racing through the grounds and into the Forbidden Forest, wild and free.
...
He felt the air rush through his fur, and the hard ground beneath his bounding paws, and smelt the sweet smell of the soil and the grass. He and Prongs were staying close to Moony - making sure he didn't escape, didn't get loose and hurt someone - but as it always was, when they were together, the wolf was less dangerous in their presence, more human.
Sometimes Padfoot would look into the yellow eyes of the wolf and could swear he could see Remus looking back out at him, like it was his friend in control all along.
They bounded through the underbrush yapping joyfully and howling at the moon … and suddenly Prongs had just vanished. It was just the two of them - all alone - and Padfoot had jumped onto Moony, the pair of them rolling over and over - all fur and hot breath … and then when they landed, they were human again - naked and entwined with each other and they had begun to kiss … and Sirius' skin had grown warm and his lips had begun to tingle and he had traced hungry fingers over Remus' beautiful scars …
...
And then he had heard a distant rattling noise - a wheezing. And the clouds overhead had parted and the moon had come out again and Remus suddenly screamed in pain, howling at the sky, and turned back into the wolf … and a dark figure with an axe stalked towards him. And Sirius tried to help - but he couldn't transform - he couldn't turn into Padfoot and when Moony turned to look at him, he saw no hint of his friend in those yellow eyes. There was just an animal - an animal about to be put down.
And then he realised that the reason Prongs had vanished was because he was dead - and he was hit with the sudden memory of those glassy, staring eyes; that stiff, cold body half buried in rubble. Prongs was dead - Moony was in danger and …
...
He had woken up gasping, the death rattle of sound was louder than ever and he realised the dementors were at his door.
He had shaken with misery and shivered with cold and had been so desperate to transform and give himself some respite that he had almost been unable to stop himself … But he couldn't. As long as Remus had to suffer, then so did Sirius - and so he had forced himself to stay human and withstand the pain.
...
But now - this morning - he was weak. He felt drained - and he stared listlessly out of the window, trying to think of nothing but neutral thoughts … like about him being innocent. Nothing that would make him happy, and bring those ghouls flocking around him again … but nothing that would make him sad, sink him even deeper into the suffocating grey.
This was the weakest he had felt yet … he was beginning to worry that, when the time came, he would have been human for so long, suffered for so long, that he would not even have the strength to change back into Padfoot - that all his powers would be lost to him forever. But still, he didn't let himself transform. There could be no easy way out, while Remus suffered.
...
And Sirius knew he was suffering. He could still hear him, whimpering now - though sometimes it was louder, sometimes it was screams - agonised howls like in his dream. Moony was afraid, and how much Sirius wished he could go to him, hold him, make him brave again … But that would never be. They were separated forever. And the final separation crept closer with every passing hour. Moony had good reason to be afraid.
...
He kept his eyes fixed out onto the sea - miles below. It was the only sign of movement, the only sign of life on this barren rock; the iron grey waves and the foaming white horses. It was the only thing to look at for miles around; its churning was the only proof that Sirius hadn't somehow fallen inside a sepia photograph of hell and been trapped there.
And then - after an aeon of staring - his eyes caught sight of another movement. Distant for now but getting closer. A rowing boat - packed with people - and two guards. Someone else was headed to Azkaban.
Peter awaited the delivery of the next day's paper with the eagerness usually seen in children waiting for Christmas morning. After a very satisfactory meeting with the Dursleys (and ample use of the confundus charm... among others) he had left Privet Drive with exactly what he wanted and had immediately written to Rita Skeeter to tell her the good news.
And now he expected that good news to be in the morning paper.
...
When the owl finally arrived, he ripped the newspaper from its beak and thrust the knut for delivery at it. The owl hooted - as if offended- and then turned on its wing and flew away.
Peter didn't even notice - he was too busy rifling through the pages. His heart was hammering in his chest as he made his searches until … there it was. Only on page 17 - which was a bit disappointing. He would have liked the front page, would have liked the headlines.
But still - he was back in the paper and the front page would follow soon enough.
He sat down and began to read the short article. There was a picture of him at the top, alongside a picture of the whole Potter family. And his name was mentioned… he counted carefully … seven times in total.
This was good. This would do. For now. He might even get another sponge cake in the post out of this.
But there was still work to be done - he needed to build on this … until he was the main news story in the Daily Prophet once again.
The team from the Department for the Disposal of Dangerous Beasts worked quickly and efficiently. They knew what they were doing and they wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible, after all.
They were in the empty cell next door to the one the wolf currently called home, and were fixing the harness in place, making ready for the execution and doing the checks on it to make sure it would hold. A fine thing it would be if the chains came loose and the wolf broke free and murdered them all … and was the only one who walked away from its own execution in one piece.
They couldn't afford to take any chances.
...
Although they had cast the patronus charm and were now protected from the worst of the dementors by the silvery jackrabbit bouncing up and down in the doorway, there was nothing they could do about the screams from the prisoners, or the freezing winds blowing in through the barred windows. This place was shrouded in a permanent fog, a mist of misery that no charm could fully expel … And so they worked quickly, wanting to leave again as soon as possible.
Bagnold watched them work, watched the way they created chains which suspended the harness from the ceiling and leashed it to the wall. 'You've double checked their strength?' she asked - nodding at the chains.
'Yes ma'am,' Bloom nodded. 'Double and triple checked. We don't want any accidents. The beast will be put in here,' he indicated the harness which hung suspended from the ceiling, 'which will keep it still, ready for the axe. Tying the harness to the wall means it can't get away. Not that we expect it to put up much of a fight in human form...This place ...' he broke off and looked at the dank misery that surrounded them. 'This place will have drained the fight right out of it. But the wolf won't feel the same way the human does. It'll be as mad and savage as ever. It needs strong chains to hold it still.'
'Very good.' She hesitated. 'I think - I think I would like to see this creature, while it still lives. I've heard so much. Bloom, summon a guard and come with me, won't you?'
Looking like he'd rather do just about anything else in the world, Bloom nodded his head and then left the room - going to seek out a dementor.
...
He returned just a few minutes later, looking like he was about to faint, accompanied by a tall, dark cloaked figure who emitted a constant rattling wheeze. The silver jackrabbit in the doorway flickered and nearly went out.
'Ah, very good,' Bagnold said, when she saw them both standing there - trying to hide the tremble in her voice. 'Guard, I wish to be shown the wolf - take me to him.'
The hooded head lowered in a nod and a scabrous hand reached out from beneath the folds of the cloak and beckoned her to follow. Taking a deep breath, she left the cell - walking outside the protection of the patronus - and followed the dementor.
When he heard the scrape of the lock and his door start to clank open, Remus struggled to his feet and stumbled to the very back of his cell. He didn't understand what was happening - it wasn't time for the dementors to deliver food and they never came in otherwise. But now …
He didn't know what this meant, and he was afraid. He pressed himself against the far wall and shrank back, bracing himself for the surge of despair that would crash over him when the dementor came closer.
But once the door opened, the monstrous guard seemed to hang back - and a witch and a wizard came inside. The wizard raised his wand, covering Remus in case he tried to make a break for it. Though Remus was too bewildered, too frightened and too weak to try anything of the sort.
'So this is it, is it?' the witch said.
'Yes, Minister,' the wizard said - his tone was respectful.
...
Remus looked between them, his heart was still beating too fast in his chest - though it was beginning to slow as he realised he appeared to be in no immediate danger. He stared at the witch, an old lady - with grey hair and a lined face - but who nevertheless looked very stern and very powerful. After a moment, he recognised her from the paper. This was the Minister for Magic. Millicent Bagnold, herself, was standing in his cell, looking at him like he was something in a zoo.
'It's funny,' the Minister said, 'he almost looks human.'
Remus felt himself flush.
'If you didn't know what he was … there would be no way of knowing.' She shuddered, 'horrible the way they can hide like that - in plain sight, like they're regular people.'
...
Remus stared down at the floor and bit his lip, trying to blink back the tears that had sprung to his eyes. Over the years, people had said far worse to him - been far more cruel - and it hadn't made him cry. He was far too used to the prejudice to cry over it now. He remembered back when they were on the run, how upset Sirius had got about the things the paper said about him, Remus, while he barely thought anything of it at all.
But here in this place of pain and desperation and choking, suffocating misery - even the slightest unkindest was enough to set him off crying and - listening to her words - his cheeks burned and his eyes stung.
...
'Look at his eyes,' Bagnold said to the wizard. ''Have you ever seen eyes like that before?'
'What do you mean, ma'am?'
'They're haunted. I've never seen such pain staring back at me. Does it haunt you?' her voice suddenly became a sharp staccato rap of sound, as she addressed Remus directly. 'What you've done? The people you've killed? Is that why you're crying, Beast?'
He shook his head - struggling to find his voice, 'I -' it hurt to talk, it was a struggle. He hadn't formed words in so long, the only use of his voice had been the screaming, the howling. His throat was sore and his tongue felt swollen and he struggled to remember how to speak.
'You don't care the Potters are dead?' Bagnold snapped.
'Ye - yes. I care… I …'
'So why did you do it?'
'I didn't...'
That made the Minister laugh. 'A beast that can tell lies - I've seen everything now. Do you know why we're here, wolf?'
He shook his head.
'We're preparing for your execution - getting everything ready. Only ten days left now - are you frightened?'
He nodded, and tears swam into his eyes again. 'Yes… please, I …'
'You should have thought of that before you turned Death Eater. I imagine the fear you feel now is exactly what all your victims felt. That's why this is justice.'
'No - please…'
'Well,' she turned back to the wizard, 'I think we've seen everything there is to see here, Bloom. I want to see the other before I go.'
...
Remus' head came up. 'Sirius - ' he said, the word escaping him without his even meaning it to.
Bagnold smirked. 'Yes - do you have a message to send to your master? I suppose this will be the last chance you get. What would a beast like you want to say to the man who owned it before it was put down?'
...
He ignored her cruel jibes - she was offering him one final chance to speak to Sirius, even indirectly. He didn't care how much she humiliated him in the process. He was taking this one chance she offered, nothing else mattered. 'Tell him I love him,' he said, not caring what she would make of that - what she would think of the two of them… two men … 'Please. Tell him I love him - and tell him goodbye.'
She raised an eyebrow at that, 'funny,' she said, as she turned to leave, 'that it can be so loyal to Black and yet so utterly devoid of humanity towards anyone else.'
She left the cell along with the wizard, the door slammed shut behind them and then the lock scraped back into place.
...
Alone once again, Remus collapsed back on to his mattress and started to shake.
The sound of the bolt being pulled back - along with the wheezing breath of a dementor - made Sirius finally turn from the window. He had watched the little group of people row up to the island, land on the shore and struggle their way up the rocky beach towards the fortress. They had not been chained - as he and Remus had been - though they had carried chains, and he had worked out that this was not more prisoners arriving. This was an official visit.
And now his door was opening at a time it did not normally open and he realised that he may be about to get an official visit of his very own.
Sure enough, once the heavy, iron door had been pulled back - the Minister for Magic herself came in, accompanied by a middle aged wizard he did not recognise. The wizard pulled out his wand and pointed it directly at Sirius, 'no funny stuff,' he threatened.
...
Sirius stared down at the wand - and then up at his visitors… and he was suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of anger towards them, contempt for them - that they had thrown him in here, without a proper trial, sentenced Remus to death without any real proof of wrongdoing, taken their wands, locked them away and still … still this pair felt the need to point wands at him as if he was a danger.
They were pathetic - worse than pathetic. And his sudden surge of hatred for them left him feeling unexpectedly strong and powerful, better than he had felt in days. He pulled himself up to his full height, held his head proudly - as befit the heir to the ancient and noble House of Black - and glowered down at the little, old witch.
'Minister,' he said, his voice dripping sarcasm. 'What an unexpected honour.'
...
He was pleased to see she looked wrongfooted by his behaviour. 'He's very different to the other one,' she muttered to the wizard.
Sirius felt a pang in his heart. Moony. She must be talking about Moony - she must have already seen him, but he didn't let any of that show on his face. 'What brings you here, Minister?' he asked instead.
'Preparing for the execution,' she told him. He felt himself go pale but tried to fight it. 'I thought I'd check in on the pair of you while I was here,' she finished up.
He bowed his head ironically, 'I'm touched at your thoughtfulness.'
'You're holding up better than the wolf.'
'Well that's hardly surprising is it?'
'Because you're a pureblood wizard and he's a filthy, cowardly halfbreed?'
His hands balled in anger, but he kept his voice even and light. 'Because I'm not going to be executed in two weeks' time.'
'Ten days.'
He squeezed his fists so tightly his nails cut into his palm and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying out. 'Close enough,' he forced himself to say … as if it were no matter.
'Are you not going to beg for the Beast's life?' she asked him.
'Would you listen if I did?'
'No.'
'Then why waste my breath?'
'We saw him before we saw you - spoke to him.'
...
He raised an eyebrow, his heart was banging inside his chest like a drum - but he forced himself to remain cool and calm and unconcerned in front of these hateful people. He would not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they were getting to him. 'What did he have to say for himself?'
'He said to tell you he loves you - and to say goodbye. What do you make of that?'
But Sirius didn't answer. On hearing her words he was suddenly flooded with … Moony. His smile, his eyes, his scars ...his soft words and his gentle hands and the disgusting way he dipped bars of chocolate into his cup of tea... he still loved him. Even here. Even after all this … he had risked mockery and misery to send a final message of love to Sirius… and suddenly he found he couldn't control the tears in his eyes, and they threatened to spill over.
...
But then the rattling by the door grew louder - and Moony was sucked away from him, right out of his heart - and replaced again with the grey. He snapped back to himself - turning his mind to carefully neutral things, and looked at the visitors in his cell.
They wore matching expressions of shock, looking like they were going to be sick - and Sirius realised that they too had experienced the sudden wave of misery as the dementor had taken all the happy thoughts of Remus from him ...and, unlike him, they were not used to the cold and the pain.
For the moment, he had the upper hand. 'So - is that it?' he asked, 'is there anything else?'
'No,' Bagnold gave herself a shake, forcing herself to come back to herself. 'That is all.'
'Well - have a nice day, Minister - I shan't keep you.' He enjoyed seeing the look of surprise on her face as he dismissed her. He decided to try and shock her again. 'Oh Minister - I don't suppose you're finished with that are you?' He indicated the newspaper in her hand. 'It's just - I do miss doing the crossword.'
'Oh - uh - of course,' she handed it over, looking slightly bewildered.
He took it from her. 'That's very kind. Now - do shut the door on your way out won't you?'
He smiled to himself, in grim amusement, as the pair of them left him alone - looking wrongfooted, like the visit had turned upside down somehow and they were not sure what had happened.
...
Once the door was locked, and he was alone in his cell, he settled down on his mattress to read his newly acquired paper and find out what was happening in the outside world.
