A/N Remus is tortured throughout the entirety of this chapter - if you would rather not read that, then Rita Skeeter will summarise everything that happens here in an article in chapter 30.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Dawlish had taken a chain from his bag - long links which ended in a manacle. Both Severus and Remus stared at it - as if they had been expecting to see something much worse produced, and were frankly a bit underwhelmed by what the auror seemed to have planned.
'What is that?' Severus asked - and there was a bite of impatience in his voice, as if the interrogation of the wolf was not going as well as he had hoped it would. As if it was proving harder than he had allowed for to get information out of Remus - and he did not have time for any more games.
'It's a chain,' Dawlish said slowly, as if Snape was being stupid.
Despite himself, Remus laughed. Snape flushed - and shot him an irritated glance. 'Yes - I can see that,' he snapped. 'Why will it help?'
'It's made of silver.'
...
Remus stopped laughing. His eyes widened with fear and he looked desperately between the aurors and Snape - who was still looking nonplussed. Snape may be none the wiser, but Remus understood the threat all too well. 'No, you can't,' he said, and his voice had started to tremble. He fought to control it, but it was no good. 'You can't do that - please!'
'I thought you weren't going to beg, wolf?' Proudfoot's voice had a nasty sneer to it - and immediately, Remus bit his lip and shut up. The auror was right. He wasn't going to beg. Not ever - he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. Let them do what they liked, he was made of stronger stuff than any of them and would prove it.
But he still stared wide eyed at the chain. 'You're not allowed to do this,' he said - fighting to keep his voice even, fighting to hide how scared he was.
'We can do what we want,' Dawlish told him. 'You're in here - and no one will ever know.'
'But this is torture - you have no right.'
'No - you have no rights, wolf. Not one. You're an animal sentenced to die. And - as wizards and humans - we will treat you how we see fit.'
...
He sounded so pompous and self righteous, as he had said that, that Remus was suddenly blinded with a hatred and rage he had never felt before - a red mist, unlike anything he had ever experienced, just descended on him and, like Sirius had done at their trial, he hocked back and spat right in the auror's face.
There was uproar - bellows and curses and Dawlish stumbling around wiping the phlegm from his eyes - and then Remus found himself being beaten about the head by several large fists, heavy blows raining down on him all at once. He was knocked down on to his mattress, where he lay - tasting the metallic glint of blood in his mouth from where his lip had been cut, and feeling his jaw beginning to swell under the bruising.
...
'Enough,' he heard Snape say - from far above him - and once again there was the bite of impatience in his voice. 'What difference does it make that the chain is silver? What am I missing here?'
'Werewolves hate silver,' Proudfoot told him. 'It's something to do with the purity of the metal coming into contact with something as tainted as they are. The creature is dirty, see - in its soul - and the silver reacts to that. Makes it very painful when silver touches their skin.'
'I'm not,' Remus said, through gritted teeth - still down on his mattress. 'I'm not dirty.'
'Then why are you so afraid of the silver?'
He didn't have an answer for that. It was a - it was like an allergy was all. Wizards might have explained it away with their tales of it being the contamination of the wolf, dirt in their soul, that somehow reacted against the purity of the metal. But … that was just their bigotry. There was no proof. There were lots of pure metals and Remus could touch all of them … except for silver.
'That's what I thought,' the auror sniggered, 'no answer.'
...
Remus ignored him and instead looked up at where Severus was watching him, there was a calculating expression on the other man's face. 'Severus - Please,' he said, softly. 'You're better than this.'
But he only found himself getting a kick in the ribs from Proudfoot for his pains. 'No one needs to hear moralising from a Death Eater werewolf - thank you. What say you, Snape?'
'Severus -'
'It will help with the interrogation?' Snape asked, slowly, 'weaken his defences?'
'Severus- no -' But he may as well have not been there, for all the attention any of them paid him.
'The creature will be helpless,' Dawlish said.
'Then … then do it.'
'No - please. I don't know anything - I swear. It won't help.'
...
But once again - he was ignored. 'Dawlish, cover me - Snape, I'll need your help…' and suddenly Proudfoot had squatted down beside Remus. He took out a knife and sliced the ropes that bound his hands. 'Don't even think of trying anything - Dawlish's wand is on you, wolf.' Then he turned to Snape, 'hold onto him.'
The auror got to his feet and, with a wave of his wand, attached the chain to the wall. He pulled it out to its fullest extent and handed the manacle to Snape. 'Clap this on him.'
Snape grabbed hold of Remus left arm, roughly - taking the manacle in his other hand.
...
Remus tried to struggle, tried to pull his arm away from the manacle - fighting against letting it be clamped around his wrist. He was stronger than Snape - even half starved, he was bigger and more powerful than the other man and he was succeeding in making things difficult for his would be interrogators.
But then Dawlish's boot seemed to swing out of nowhere, directly into his face. And his nose seemed to explode in pain - his head fell back onto his thin pillow, and Snape's grip tightened on his arm. He felt it be dragged towards the chain… and then Snape seemed to stop.
...
'You haven't been marked,' Snape said.
Remus peered up at him - not understanding. Snape was staring at his, Remus', left forearm as if something was troubling him.
'What are you…?'
'You don't bear the mark…' And for a moment, a look of doubt seemed to cross Snape's face. He glanced up at the aurors - as if thinking of saying something, biting his lip. But then his expression cleared just as suddenly as it had clouded. 'Of course you don't. The Dark Lord would never actually let one of your kind in his inner circle. You might have done his bidding, but he was as disgusted by you as the rest of us are. The Dark Lord values purity - and that is precisely what you are not. He would never have marked you as one of his own … Silly of me to even wonder ... I'm sure your lover still proudly bears his, though.'
'What are you…?' he said again - but then he stopped talking and started screaming, as the silver manacle was clamped around his wrist.
...
It bit into his skin and - from the moment it made contact - started to burn. There was a hissing noise and the smell of cooking meat ...only it was coming from him - and Remus could feel his flesh bubbling and blistering beneath the chain. He kept on screaming - lost to anything now but the intensity of the pain.
Severus stared down at the writhing, howling werewolf … and felt yet another flicker of doubt. The pain it was in, the pain the silver was causing … It was like watching someone under the cruciatus curse.
Lupin's face was bright red, his expression twisted in agony. Tears were streaming from his eyes and he was crying out - his whole body shuddering with each scream. And the smell … like some travesty of a barbecue … Yes, seeing the pain he was allowing to be inflicted did cause him his second moment of doubt in as many minutes. Perhaps this was not right...
...
He had been surprised to see the beast's arm so completely unblemished - free of the mark that his own arm bore, and of which he was so ashamed. It had given him a moment's pause.
The wolf had boldly claimed his innocence just minutes ago, had plead not guilty at his trial … and now here was evidence that it was not part of the Dark Lord's trusted circle after all. With no dark mark on his arm he could neither be used to summon the other Death Eaters, communicate with the Dark Lord or feel it burn when the Dark Lord wished to communicate with him. This was proof positive that Lupin was no Death Eater.
...
But on second thought, that made sense. The Dark Lord used werewolves in his army of dark creatures, but he would no more initiate one into his circle of close followers than he would a giant or a dementor. They may find a home for their own depravity with the Dark Lord - but they were only ever being used by him. Used to do his bidding, to carry out his orders, to terrify other people into submission. But they were minions; servants; beasts to be put to work but not trusted - they were not the future of the wizarding world, remade in the Dark Lord's image. They were dirty, tainted - as impure, in their own way, as the mudblood. Once they ceased to be useful - they would have been got rid of. And it was only their own animal stupidity that stopped them from seeing that.
Of course Remus Lupin had never received a dark mark, he was utterly unworthy of one in the Dark Lord's eyes.
...
But it seemed unfair that the creature did not have to bear this permanent stain of his own evil doing on his flesh - when Severus was forever marked by his own terrible mistakes. It made him envious. Watching that monster, squirming on the floor, shrieking in agony … and he felt envious of it. And his anger at that made him quash any remaining doubts.
The creature would bear a mark on it's left forearm after today, that much was certain. The smell of burning flesh crept into every corner of the cell, overpowering - and disgusting, smoke was beginning to rise from beneath the manacle - and it would leave a mark that never ever came off.
Good.
...
This creature - this thing - had killed Lily.
...
He hardened his heart, ignoring the screams, and the sizzling sound of its seared flesh, and the tears in its eyes, and the desperate pleading to make it stop - please just make it stop.
The screaming became wordless noise again - as the creature twisted itself, trying to free its wrist from the silver - and every failure caused the metal to bite all the harder. Its whole body convulsed in paroxysms of pain - shuddering and shaking and driving the manacle ever further into Lupin's wrist with every jolt. And every jolt brought another scream - and more tears.
...
And then a wet patch seeped through the material of the beast's thin, prison robes - growing larger, spreading further by the second … and the smell of urine mingled with the smell of burned flesh; tangy, bitter and unpleasant. The animal was in so much pain it had voided its bladder. Lupin had wet himself - and Severus would never forget it. He smirked in grim satisfaction at the sight, raised his wand and yelled: 'legilimens! '
Remus felt the warm, wet patch spread out from between his legs. He knew what it meant. But he was in too much pain to care. Something that would have once been humiliation beyond bearing meant nothing now. All thought of proving his strength, making a point to the aurors, acting proud - that was long gone. He was so far gone that publicly pissing himself meant nothing to him. Even shame could not break through the unbearable wall of his suffering.
All he could focus on was the pain, the vicious bite in his wrist that made every nerve ending on his entire body explode with agony. The searing, blinding, torment that seemed to cut through his skull like a red hot wire and fire harrowing, excruciating hurt into his brain.
It was piercing, cutting into every tendon, every fibre, every muscle. Even his bones were screaming out. He couldn't see - the pain was so bad. His ears were ringing. He could hear his own yells but they were muffled. He could smell though. He could smell the burning; smell his own flesh being cooked … and he could smell the piss.
But mostly he could feel. It was like his whole existence had been shrunk down to nothing but the sense of touch - and all there was in the world was the pain. In his wrist - radiating everywhere else but in his wrist. Oh god. His wrist.
He wanted it to stop. He wanted to die - just … anything to bring an end to the silver burning his skin raw.
...
And then - from a very very long way away, and above the ringing in his ears and the sound of his own screams, he heard a voice yell 'legilimens! ' And there was nothing he could do.
There was no control left in him, the damp patch on the front of his robes and the puddle he was lying in would attest to that.
And even through the blinding pain he started to see the images swim in front of his mind. He didn't understand them, they didn't mean anything to him over the deafening noise of his own agony - but he couldn't stop them from rising up … right where Snape would see them. And Snape would understand - whatever Remus' tortured brain conjured up, Snape would see and understand it all.
...
Little Remus sat in front of the fire playing gobstones with Dumbledore, his parents watching them nervously - adult Remus just kept yelling. McGonagall had called teenage Remus into her office, her face was unexpectedly soft, her eyes a little watery - and she handed him a letter from his father. His mother was dead. Teenage Remus began to cry - adult Remus was crying as well, great wracking sobs that had nothing to do with grief and everything to do with pain.
...
Teenage Remus got a prefect badge through the owl post. Teenage Sirius and James laughed at him when they saw it. Adult Remus kept on screaming. Almost adult James had the head boy's badge … and almost adult Remus was looking at it jealously, wondering why James got to be the first head boy who had never been a prefect and what he had done wrong to miss out on the top spot. Fully adult Remus saw it all but felt and understood none of it - he was too busy screaming.
...
And then Remus - a fully grown man now - was living rough, out on the streets. Another man - another werewolf - attacked him and they fought, rolling over and over - Remus threw a punch and managed to escape … but had great big scratch marks down the side of his face, where fingers that were more like claws had raked across his skin. As he looked at it in the mirror in a public convenience, trying to clean it using the scalding hot water that came from the rusty, old taps, he felt overwhelming shame that the rest of the world saw him as no different to the man who had just attacked him.
But Remus, in the present, didn't feel that same shame. The agony was too blistering to allow room for anything else … even Snape seeing him among his fellow werewolves and not making any distinction between him and them did not register.
...
And then he was in the air raid shelter - lying on the soft mattress. 'I don't deserve all this - it looks - it looks a bit like home.' Him and Sirius held hands, smiling at each other and thinking of happier times. 'It's going to happen in a minute. I need to…'
And Sirius nodded, got off the mattress and transformed into a dog … And the memories suddenly came crashing to a halt. Though the pain continued.
'What happened?' Dawlish asked, looking between the writhing beast on the floor and the young wizard who had been interrogating it.
Severus had stopped what he was doing. His face had gone pale and his breathing was suddenly very heavy.
'What did you see?' Dawlish asked.
'Something very … interesting. I need to see more. Need to be sure. Legilimens! '
...
Young Remus was woken up by a pillow to the face. 'Mmph!'
'We've had an idea, Remus,' little James said to him, scrambling onto his bed - his face was glowing. 'Well - it was Sirius' idea. But it's brilliant!'
Little Sirius tried to look modest - but failed miserably.
'We've worked out how we can help you. How we can keep you company during the full moon.'
'Don't be mental - I'm too dangerous. I'll rip your heads off.'
'Not with what we've got planned.'
...
The library appeared completely empty. It was late at night, and the crescent moon shone in through the windows. A lantern floated through the air, raised up to cast light on the bookshelves. And then suddenly all four of them appeared as if from nowhere - right in the restricted section. James dropped his invisibility cloak to the floor. 'Right - we're looking for stuff on animal transformations. It's got to be here somewhere.'
...
It was daytime, they were still in the library but they were all much taller now - boys were turning into men. 'So this is it,' James said. 'We should be ready in a month.'
'Are you sure we've got everything - done it all right?' Peter asked.
Remus was looking troubled. 'If you want to back out - really, it's OK. This can go horribly wrong and I - I don't want any of you spending eternity stuck as a naked mole rat or something, just for me.' He spoke to them all - but he looked only at Sirius.
Though Sirius didn't share his concern. 'We're doing this. We're not leaving you to suffer alone any longer, Moony.'
'That's a stupid nickname.'
'Well - we'll all have our own stupid nicknames soon enough,' Sirius' grin was big and bright.
Peter was still looking afraid and unconvinced.
'Really - Peter - you don't have to. If you want to back out, I'll understand.'
...
It was the full moon - and a wolf, a dog and a stag ran through the forest. The dog and the wolf were howling, bounding on their paws. The dog pounced on the wolf and they rolled over and over and over…
...
The sun shone in through the cracks in the boarded up windows of the shrieking shack … and the wolf's body seized up, shuddered, shook and then turned back into Remus - the fur shrinking back into his skin, his paws unfurling back into hands and feet. Naked, and covered in red scratches, he grabbed at his robes and pulled them over his head - before putting a hand on the shoulder of the massive, black dog that had slept beside him. 'Padfoot, Padfoot - wake up.'
The dog stirred, whining in the back of its throat and kicking its legs.
'We need to get back to school - before they notice you're missing.'
The dog opened its eyes, licked Remus across the face - Remus shrieked and laughed and batted the dog away from himself. And then Padfoot became Sirius, and he helped the other boy to his feet and supported him all the way to the secret passage.
...
They were in the air raid shelter - and Sirius got off the mattress and transformed into Padfoot. Remus turned his back, modestly, and started stripping off his clothes… and then the change happened … the wolf reared up snapping and snarling - before stopping when it scented the dog on the air. And then the dog and the wolf started their night of wrestling and tumbling and fighting each other; snapping and snarling and rolling over and over.
And then Remus woke up on the mattress - and there was a heavy arm flung across him. 'Are you awake, Padfoot?'
'Mm - yeah - 'm awake.' And Sirius held his hand, and used the knuckle of his thumb to caress Remus' bare chest…
...
Severus brought the spell to an end - and felt victory flood through him, colour flushing into his usual pallor. He inhaled sharply. This was it. Success.
'What is it?' Proudfoot asked him.
'Black,' Severus said, succinctly. 'He's an animagus. That's how he escaped.'
'Is that it - it's that simple?'
'So it would seem. Come - we need to get a move on. We know how he's disguising himself now. We have a dog to catch.'
Through the haze of his pain, Remus became aware of Snape and the two aurors headed for the door to his cell. They were leaving. But he was still chained up, still manacled with silver and in unbearable pain. And they seemed to be intending to leave him this way. 'Wait!' he croaked, forcing himself to call out through his agony. 'Please - please unchain me.'
But they did not seem inclined to listen, just laughing and walking away.
'Severus - Severus, please!'
Severus froze in the doorway and turned back to look at the cowering animal, its robes still wet from where it had pissed itself, pleading with him to have mercy.
The beast's eyes were wide and huge - and the depth of their pain was like nothing Severus had ever seen before.
'Please - don't leave me like this.'
All thought of it not begging seemed to have flown out the window. It was entirely broken, entirely cowed. Entirely at his mercy.
'Please -' and then it broke off with another wild cry of pain as the silver bit into it once again.
Severus thought of Lily. 'If you don't like where you find yourself, wolf - you should have thought of that before you did what you did. But you never thought you would face justice, did you? Never thought you would be caught? Well, the things Dumbledore let you get away with at school, no wonder you thought you were invincible - gave you a false sense of security. And now here you are: caged, chained and at the mercy of Snivellus . Oh how the mighty have fallen, wolf.'
Despite the pain, Remus forced himself up onto his knees. He knew what that must look like, that he was truly begging for mercy now. They had broken him - they had broken him so badly he didn't even care. And he would do whatever they asked of him just as long as they made the pain stop.
'I'm sorry!' he called out. 'I am - for everything. Severus, I'm sorry. We were wrong - I know we were. I knew it at the time. And I'm sorry I didn't do anything.' His voice broke - it cracked and faltered and the sobs got caught in his throat, choking him up - but he forced his words out, begging for mercy from old Snivelly, pleading on his knees - all pride lost. Bollocks to what Prongs would say to him, when next they met … Prongs had died quickly. He had never had to feel this. 'I'm sorry for everything I did - and I'm sorry for what they did too. I'm sorry I never made them stop. I was weak - a coward…'
'You still are.'
'I am - but please. Please…' he could barely get his words out, the pain in his wrist was making him sob so hard. 'Severus, Dumbledore would not want you to treat me this way. He would have mercy.'
Severus tutted - but the chord had stuck home. 'Dumbledore is a fool,' he said, as he walked back to Lupin, crouched down - took hold of his arm and vanished the silver chain.
Lupin fell backwards, gasping and sobbing in agony. 'Thank you - thank you.'
But Severus grabbed hold of him, yanking him back up. He gripped Lupin by the hair and stared into his eyes - summoning as much disgust and loathing as he could muster and making sure the werewolf saw it all.
'I didn't do it to be merciful,' he hissed. 'I did it so you would die indebted to me. I have beaten you, Remus Lupin. After all these years, after all you and your friends did to me, I have finally beaten you. And I will beat Black as well. And I want you to know that; as you cower in here, covered in your own piss, stinking and pathetic - I want you to know that I beat you - and that you owe me. And I want you to die knowing it.'
And then he dropped Lupin back to the ground and stormed out of the cell.
The patronus flickered and died, the heat and hope sucking out of the room like it had never been there at all. The door clanged shut - and Remus was left all alone once again; with his pain ...and with the dementors.
