AN;
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I had a free day this week, so the update is sooner than usual :)
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Chapter 15 - Picking back up
EPOV
As we ran through the woods I wished desperately Alice had warned the family of Bella's confusion. I didn't want her to feel on the spot about the state of our engagement. I was sure that would only make her upset and insecure. And I didn't want that for we broke through the tree line Carlisle was standing near the window and spotted me first.
And? He thought at me. I shook my head almost imperceptibly, nothing that would set off Bella, but enough to answer his thought. He frowned.
Why? I was sure this would help her, make her feel more secure in your relationship. It's so obvious she needs you. bI gave a short roll of my eyes.
Sorry. I know you can't really talk back now. I'll warn the rest. I nodded. He turned around and quickly and softly told the other not to ask about us. I sent him a quiet thank you.
We slowed down and walked up the porch steps to the backdoor. Bella opened the door and stepped inside. The smile that lit up her face was endearing. She really had bonded with my family immensely. She was one of us, fully and completely. Just one night away from them and she had missed them. I could hear the echoing sentiment mirrored in their thoughts. They had missed Bella as well. Me too of course, but it was different. For some reason everyone was drawn to Bella like moths to a flame. She was enticing, alluring, amazing. Her character and charisma seemed to draw every one in around her. That and the fact that she looked so damn vulnerable made everyone want to protect her as well. When she wasn't around they were worried about her. Not just because she was a newborn, but because they loved her and wanted her to stay safe.I smiled at that. I had picked the best person it seemed. One my family loved completely also.
The first few minutes after our arrival were awkward. Bella didn't seem to know what to do with herself. My family was unsure what to say to us. They had expected to celebrate our engagement, but instead everything was unsure. Well, for them at least. Alice and I knew better, but we chose to keep that to ourselves for now. Bella kept her distance form me, unsure what to do and how to act around me with the family around. Without looking at me sat down on the couch next to Rosalie.
What happened? Rosalie wondered in her thoughts. I couldn't really answer her now though, so I just shrugged. I headed over to the piano and sat down on the bench. I started playing softly – Bella's lullaby. And that seemed to help everyone settle down. It was my way of telling my family that everything was okay between us. They had all worried that we wouldn't find our way back to each other. But me playing her song was good enough for them for now. They all relaxed slowly and started picking up where they had left off before we had returned. Japer and Emmett returned to their chess game, Rosalie returned to the TV and Esme and Carlisle returned to the sofa and continued talking quietly. I kept playing through the background.
Rose, can we talk?' I heard bella mutter softly. Rosalie glanced up at me but then turned to Bella and nodded. Together they flew outside and soon enough I couldn't hear them anymore.
'What happened?' Emmett demanded immediately.
'Nothing bad.' I assured them.
Alice flitted down the stairs. 'It will be a yes.' She announced smiling happily.
'But it's not yet?' Carlisle asked concerned.
I shook my head. 'It was a yes. But then she got confused. So we pressed pause.'
'Pressed pause?' Jasper echoed with a snort. 'That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard.'
'It's what she needs.'
Again Jasper shook his head. 'What both of you need, is to get over your insecurities and doubts and just get on with it already.' He groaned. 'My god, all this will they won't they crap is giving me whiplash!'
Alice laughed at his outburst and I joined in. 'Sorry to burst your bubble there Jasper, but they definitely have.' Alice assured him.
I groaned. 'Why Alice?' I asked. She shrugged and stuck her tongue out at me.
Emmett of course jumped at the chance to humiliate me. 'They did?' he asked. 'Our little baby brother is all grown up then?' he asked smirking at me.
'Emmett.' Esme chided him gently, but her thoughts were pleased that we had finally made such an important step.
'So tell me' Emmett ignored Esme. 'Was it everything you dreamed of?' a wicked grin on his face as he approached me. 'Did you have candles and rosepetals? Was she gentle with you?'
I growled at him, which just made him laugh and taunt me more. 'Emmett.' Carlisle warned. But even that didn't stop him. He was determined to do this.
'Tell me, everything Eddie boy.'
'Don't call me that.' I grit my teeth.
'Was it a dream come true? Was she naughty? Oeh! Did she spank you?' he asked, finally succumbing to his own laughter and clutching his stomach.
'I'm not telling you anything.' I muttered. 'And don't you dare embaras her with this.' I threatened. He just laughed harder.
'Emmett. You're not going to torment bella with this, understood?' Esme said warningly, but everything was beyond Emmett it seemed. he just kept laughing. I just sighed and continued playing the piano again. A new song had been trapsing through my head this past night and it felt good to play with it on the ivory keys.
'So what did you agree on?' Carlisle asked after a moment.
'Nothing concrete. We're just going at her pace for now. She's going to set the speed and decide what is going to happen when. So that means no wedding planning Alice.' I told her pointedly.
Alice pouted but nodded. 'I wouldn't do that to her. I know it hurt her when you left. She needs to feel in control. I promised her I would never make her feel out of control again. So of course I won't plan a wedding without her knowing it or approving it.
Relief washed over me. 'Thank you Alice.' She nodded.
'Alright. So are you together then?' Carlisle asked.
I shrugged. 'We didn't say it in so many words. But yes, we are. She knows I love her. She knows how much I love her. She knows I'm willing to do whatever it takes for her to trust me again. She we're just going to build everything up from there.' Carlisle nodded.
'What's holding her back?' Esme asked.
'She's afraid to trust me fully yet, which I can't blame her for. She just needs a bit more time. She changed with a lot of pain fresh in her mind. Pain I caused. So she needs time to work through that. In the meantime she can have any part of me she wants. If she wants space, I'll give her space. We'll just see how it goes from there.
Jasper frowned at me for a moment. that's… different. He finally concluded in his thoughts. I cocked an eyebrow at him. 'Well, I mean... before, when she was human… you were so obsessive about her. Everything was planned to perfection. I mean there wasn't a millisecond that you didn't plan ahead. It's just surprising to see you take such a radically different approach this time.'
'You heard Alice.' I mumbled. 'I took away her control. Then Laurent took away her life. Ahe's been lost, although she'd never admit it outright. She's been struggling. I don't want to force anything. I want her to heal and grow at her own pace. My way of handling things worked like an absolute mess last time. I've just caused us pain over and over again. It's clear that my instincts when it comes to Bella are completely wrong. I love her more than anything. So I need to let her take control in this.'
Esme smiled at me. I'm so proud of you she thought. You've grown so much
'Stop mom' I said looking away. 'You're making me blush.' She smiled and walked over to hug me to her for a moment.
'Just keep doing what you're doing. Be supportive of her and she'll trust you in no time.' She said kindly. I smiled at nodded.
Or just trust in your friendly family pshycic. Alice said to me with a wink. I grinned at her. Although I would never let on, neither would alice, but we both knew exactly when Bella would trust me again and when the wedding would be that followed. It was indeed just a matter of time.
'Please don't let on that we've talked about this.' I pleaded to my family. 'She's unsure about everything right now. I don't want to put extra pressure on her.' I begged them. Everytone nodded at once. 'That means you too Emmett.' I added specifically.
'Alright. I won't pressure her. But I will keep teasing you.' he said grinning wickedly at me. I rolled my eyes but nodded. IF that was what it took to keep him from brining up our sex life to bella, I would take it gladly.
'Good.' I muttered. Then I turned to Carlisle. 'There's something I wanted to discuss with you.'
'What is it?' he asked.
'Bella told me the full story of her change.' I took a deep breath and jasper looked over curiously. Bella hadn't volunteerd a lot of her change to anyone. Except what she had told rose. No one knew the full story. 'Laurent had been sent by Victoria.'
Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise. 'Are you sure?'
I nodded.
'Why didn't Alice see it?' Emmett asked.
'I'm thinking Laurent used the holes in her vision. The Denali clan knows enough about how Alice's visions work. I'm worried that if he felt loyal enough to Victoria to go after Bella, he might also have shared the specifics of Alice's talent.'
'We need to find her.' Jasper said springing to his feet and starting the pace the room.
I nodded. 'But if she's using the holes in Alice's vision I'm not sure we can find her. I tried tracking her but she's evasive and elusive. I was in Brazil when she was apparently really in Alaska.'
'Are you sure you don't just suck at tracking?' Emmett asked grinning like an idiot.
I rolled my eyes at him. 'I know I'm not the best, Emmett. But I do know the difference between north and south.'
'It must be her talent to be evasive.' Carlisle surmised. I nodded.
'It would make sense why James had been so reliant on her as well.' Jasper nodded in agreement.
'What do we do?' Wsme asked worriedly.
'Do you think she knows Bella is still alive?' Carlisle asked me.
I shrugged. 'I'm thinking since Laurent didn't return to report to her, she'll get curious and head back to Forks to see what's going on. But I'm not sure what we can do about that.'
The door opened then and bella appeared in the doorway. I bit the inside of my cheek. Damnit. Why couldn't Rosalie have stayed talking with her for just ten minutes longer. I didn't want to upset her with talk of Victoria. And I sure didn't want to drop her into the fact I had just shared her story without her permission.
'Bella, hi' I said awkwardly. Jasper gave me a funny look and Alice glared at me a moment. Bella stared at me for a while before stepping fully into the room. I swallowed hard.
Rosalie appeared next to her and frowned at me. Way to go asshole, I'd just gotten her calmed down. She scolded me. I winced.
'Are you discussing Victoria?' Bella asked. I considered lying for a second.
Absolutely not Edward! Alice growled in my head. If you lie to her about this she'll definitely break off the engagement.
My eyes widened for a moment and then I swallowed hard. 'Yes.' I finally said, aware the silence was stretching on.
'Why didn't you wait for me?' she asked.
'I wasn't sure you would feel comfortable.' I muttered.
Way to go dipshit. Rosalie scolded me There you go making descions for her again.
I bit back a growl but threw Rosalie a glare. She wasn't helping. She looked at me as if she knew what I was thinking.
'So you decide that it's best that I'm not there?'
'No, I didn't… I mean…' I threw a helpless look at Alice, but she gave me a tiny shrug. 'I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk through some theories. I didn't want to worry you.' I told her.
'This won't work if you keep me in the dark, Edward.' She said coldly. I stared at her, pain snaking its way through my chest. Was Alice wrong? Was it over anyway now?
'I'm sorry.' I told her honestly. She looked down at Jasper then for a moment, confused. He nodded to her in encouragement. A silent understanding passed between them and I was left feeling even more confused. Then she looked back at me.
'Alright, what were you discussing? What theories? I'm here now. I want to know.' She said, stepping over and sitting down on the bench next to me. I glanced at Jasper for a moment and he gave me a small smile.
I've been working with her these past weeks, Edward. She's still struggling with her emotions a bit. Anything that takes away her control is a touchy subject. I just sent your feelings on to her to make her understand your side. You were fumbling so much I thought you could use the help.
I smiled at him and nodded. He'd probably saved my skin. I had been fumbling around like an idiot. I would make sure when we were alone again to apologize to her properly.
I cleared my throat and turned to Bella.
'We were just trying to figure out what to do about Victoria.' I told her. 'I think she might try something, seeing as Laurent will have never gotten back to her.'
'Are you afraid she'll go to Forks?' Rosalie asked.
I nodded. Bella gasped. 'Charlie!' she exclaimed. 'We can't let her go back. She'll attack Charlie!'
I took her hand tightly in mine and squeezed it reassuringly. 'We won't let anything happen to Charlie, Bella.'
'I'll see it if she decides anything like that.' Alice assured her.
Carlisle cleared his throat. 'Actually we think Laurent may have passed on information about your ability to her.'
'But how?'
'Irina' I ground out. Alice frowned.
Esme put her hand to her mouth.'They wouldn't…' she whispered.
I wish they hadn't. Carlisle sighed.
'I think we should head to Denali and ask them.' Jasper said.
'But what about Charlie?' Bella demanded.
'We should head to forks too, keep an eye on Charlie there.' Carlisle said.
'Should we split up?' Rosalie asked.
'Can we even head back into Forks?' Carlisle asked looking pointedly at Bella. They could think we were responsible for turning her. It could mean war.
Bella shrugged. 'I could call Jacob.' She said, misunderstanding.
'Bella, would you please explain to the rest of the family what happened during your change?' I asked her.
Carlisle frowned for a moment. What am I missing? he thought at me.
Bella looked at me for a moment. Then bit her lip.
'She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to.' Rosalie spoke up, seeing Bella's discomfort.
'I know, Rosalie. I'm not forcing her to do anything. I'm just asking.' I said, trying to keep my tone civil. 'I think it will help everyone understand the full picture, Bella.' I said more gently. She was staring down into her hands.
Stop pressuring her like this you asshole! Rosalie screamed at me. I winced.
'I don't think I can…' Bella said quietly.
'Do you mind if I fill them in on some things?' I asked her softly, putting my hand under her chin and waiting until she met my gaze. They were guarded and hesitant. I hated forcing her through this. I knew it had been difficult for her to share her story. But I knew I had to tell the family this. She bit her lip again but then nodded. I smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She sighed when I pulled away again. Then she ducked her head into my chest and held my arm tightly against her body. I smiled at that. Then I turned to my family.
'The wolves of La push have returned. It seems the change was triggered in a new generation. They were the ones that saved Bella from Laurent. They allowed her to change.'
'New wolves?' Carlisle's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Hmm I wonder… I tuned him out. Surprise and shock was going all around.
'So we can go back without problem then?' Esme asked, hopeful. Then there's nothing stopping us from saving Charlie.
'The only stipulation Bella was given was that she had to adhere to our diet and only come back when she was in control.'
Carlisle paused at that. 'With her eyes like this, they might jump to the wrong conclusion.'
I nodded in agreement. Although the vibrant red had faded, it was still a prominent ruby colour. The wolves could see it and take it that bella wasn't holding her end of the deal and decide to attack.
'I can call Jacob. I can explain it to him.' Bella mumbled against my chest.
'I'm not sure it will be enough. Unless he is the alpha?' Carlisle asked. Bella shrugged.
'He is a Black.' I said.
A descendant from Ephraim black? Carlisle mused. 'Chances are that he is the alpha then.'
'Alright so then Bella will call Jacob and then we'll head down and see if we can catch Victoria.' Emmett shrugged easily.
Rosalie rolled her eyes. 'We can't just barge into Forks, Emmett.' She said.
'Why not?' he asked.
'Because we left quite quickly last time. And in the meantime Bella has supposedly died. So if we return, we will have to mourn her, be concerned for her father… the pretense would be a lot.' Rosalie explained. Bella winced at that.
'We don't have to decide anything today. Why don't we wait until Bella has had a chance to call Jacob and then see from there?' Esme proposed. Bella exhaled in relief and nodded. I nodded as well.
Sounds good.'
'Alright.' Emmett jumped up. 'Let's go then. Outside, wrestling. Now.' He announced throwing me a pointed look.
'Why?' I asked confused. Although Emmett had a short attention span this was something else. Bella was looking at him bemused as well. But Jasper was looking at him gratefully. I focussed on jasper. He was keeping a close eye on Bella it seemed, and Bella, was growing more uncomfortable by the second. She was unhappy about this entire conversation it seemed. A distraction was exactly what she needed.
'Well, apparantely you didn't do anything last night, so you have to release that pent up frustration somewhere.' He added grinning wickedly at me. That wasn't a direct reference he added in his thoughts.
I glared at him 'You know I'll kick your ass for all of this right?' I warned him. That earned a giggle from Bella though and suddenly I wasn't quite as frustrated with Emmett anymore.
'Come on, outside. Prove it.' He taunted as he threw open the door and barged outside.
I sat a moment longer shaking my head, before springing up and heading outside as well. Perhaps it was just what I needed. Pounding Emmett into the dirt usually helped get rid of my frustrations. Not that I was really frustrated. Perhaps a bit. I just wanted to start a life together with Bella as soon as I could. It stung a bit that she hadn't been able to say she loved me yet. But I knew it was coming. I just had to be patient. She had kissed me just now in front of my family. She had leaned into my chest for support. We were getting there, slowly but surely. Until then I could simply beat up Emmett every time I needed to vent.
I charged outside and found Emmett waiting for me. He had braced himself on the lawn and as I rammed my body into him he grabbed me around the waist. We tore through the lawn and I mentally winced at Esme's indignation.
Emmett landed a punch to my kidney and I nearly buckled. But I kept pushing him until finally he lost his balance and we toppled over. Emmett quickly got back on his feet, flipping me off of him in the process. But I was one step ahead of him. Although he tried not to think of his moves, Emmett was easy to predict. I flipped up to my feet before he could land his punch. Instead he punched the dirt and created a large indentation. I smirked at him. He straightened up and came after me again, swinging wide. I sidestepped easily and my foot shot out, swiping his legs out from under him.
'Come on!' he growled getting frustrated. 'Turn it off!'
'It doesn't turn off' I told him.
'Bella!' Emmett yelled then. 'Come on, help me out here. Just give me some of your mojo!'
Her tinkling laugh reached my ears and I was momentarily distracted. 'Sorry, Emmett, it doesn't work that way.' She said, sounding slightly breathless. I turned to look at her, to try and figure out why her voice sounded so breathless. She was staring at me with a twinkle to her eye and a smile on her lips. It took my breath away for a moment, how beautiful she looked.
Emmett took advantage of my distraction and he swept my legs out from under me. I landed on the ground with a thud. He was on top of me the next instant, pinning me to the ground.
'Damnit' I ground out.
He grinned down at me evily. 'This works too' he said. With his whole weight bearing down on me there was no option to get him off of me. In sheer strength Emmett was no match for me. I had always had the advantage to keep out of his reach to keep myself from getting pinned down. But it seemed he had finally found one thing to distract me enough to win. Bella.
'Alright I give.' I muttered. Emmett jumped to his feet and whooped loudly.
Finally!' he yelled. 'Victory is mine!' he yelled dramatically. I rolled my eyes at him as I got to my feet.
What that makes it 341021 to one?' I asked smirking at him. He growled. Rosalie sauntered over and kissed him once.
'I'm proud of you, bear.' She smiled at him. He grinned back at her and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him and laughed as he spun them around in a circle. Then he set her back down after kissing her again.
'What about you Bell?' Emmett asked. 'Care for a rematch?'
My heart caught in my throat for a moment. I whipped my head around and stared at Bella. Bella wrestling? The thought made my insides squirm. Part of it was old habits, her small frame up against Emmett sent shudders through my entire being. But I knew she was stronger now. She was stronger than all of us. Seeing her fight him… Lust crept through me just imagining it. Bella's eyes locked on mine and she licked her lips. I swallowed hard. Then she smiled and nodded to Emmett.
Good god… I couldn't wait.
