Chapter Thirty Six

There was a sudden scraping of a lock, and then Remus' cell door creaked open. He got to his feet and stumbled backwards, his heart beating faster in his chest. He had not heard any footsteps or voices. Only the dementors moved so silently. But it was not time for them to deliver food. Whatever was happening … this was something different to normal, and that made Remus afraid.

'What is it?' he asked, and his voice sounded high and sharp even to his own ears, 'what's going on?'

The dementors didn't answer - they never did. But one of them reached out with its decayed hand, grabbed hold of Remus - who had to fight the urge to be sick - and clapped manacles around his wrists.

He cried out, as the iron of his handcuffs bit into the raised, red welt of his silver burn … and then bit his lip to keep himself quiet. The dementors took hold of him, one at each elbow, and began to walk him out.

'What's going on? It isn't time for my execution yet. It isn't the right day. I've got two more days left. I've got two more days left!'

But the monstrous guards still paid him no heed and continued to march him out of his cell and down the hallways.

...

Frightened and increasingly bewildered, Remus walked between them - though the proximity of the pair of them, and their rotting flesh touching him, was nearly making him pass out in the suffocating grey of their presence. He could hear his father crying in horror at the sight of little Remus bitten and bloody; he could hear Sirius screaming - telling him everything was going to be OK, though he knew it wouldn't; he could hear the toad witch laughing at him as he was locked naked in a cell, and he could hear his own screams as the silver manacle bit into his wrist and burned his flesh.

He fought to keep his head clear. He was being taken down stairs now, along hallways and past cell doors. He could hear the other prisoners moaning inside their own cells, their screams growing louder as the dementors passed by their doors - draining the hope right out of them and leaving desolation in their wake. And Remus was trapped right between the two of them, unable to get even a moment's respite … But he fought his hardest not to scream and not to faint.

His legs began to tremble beneath him, this was the furthest he had walked since they had first brought him in here - and still they were heading downward … and still he had no idea why. Unless they were taking him to be executed but … it wasn't time yet, it wasn't . There were two more days - and he was still a man, they couldn't kill him until he was a wolf. He was still a man…

...

They reached the very lowest parts of the fortress, where it was gloomier than ever - the murky light having to travel at steep angles to reach the low and barred windows. And then they were in front of the great, iron doors that had clanged shut and swallowed Remus whole just a month ago.

Only this time they were opening, and he was being led out - into the cold, winter air. By now he was almost too confused to be afraid. None of this made any sense. 'What's happening?' he asked again - though still he got no answer.

...

The air was not fresh. This was still a place of death and decay and, although the December chill should have been bracing, it felt stale. It was dead and still, like it didn't have quite enough oxygen to really sustain anything. It was suffocating to breathe it in.

Remus shivered in his thin, prison robes. It was mid December now, and they were far out to sea. Stale or not, the air was freezing, and he felt its cruel fingers slip beneath the insubstantial material of his clothes and nip at his flesh.

He was led along the rocky path. The pebbles crunched under his feet - though the Dementors made no noise themselves as they moved - and the sound of his footsteps seemed deafeningly loud in the festering stillness. They reached the very edge of the rocky outcrop, the shelf Remus remembered scrambling up in the dim and distant past when he had first arrived.

There was a little row boat waiting there.

More bemused than ever, he was pushed into it and then the Dementors joined him - and the boat set sail across the iron grey waves.


Peter had not stopped crying. He had sobbed so hard and so long that he was exhausted, but still his eyes streamed with tears and his nose streamed with snot. No one was paying attention to him. 'Please!' he wailed again. 'Don't do this - I - I'm sorry. I never meant … it wasn't my fault.'

Beside him, the aurors exchanged grim looks and tightened their grips on him. They held their wands very close to his face, ever raised and ready in case he attempted to transform into a rat and escape.

But Peter was too lost in his misery to even think of it. Huddled in his chains, shrinking from the aurors and their stony glares, he just wept and begged and pleaded - more to himself than to anyone else. 'Please no, not Azkaban, not the dementors. Please. I'll do anything. I've learned my lesson. I won't do it again. Please, not Azkaban...'

...

He was apparated to the same cliff face where, a month before, Remus and Sirius had stood and waited for their own prison transport.

The snow fell past them in wet flakes, and the aurors stamped their feet and turned the collars of their cloaks up and looked at Peter with extreme dislike - both for his pitiful weeping and for the fact he was the reason they had to stand out in the cold, waiting for the dementors, while the freezing sea spray hit them in the face.

'Please no - no, let me go. Let me go…' Peter moaned.

...

'Blimey Charlie,' Dawlish spat on the ground. 'Black and his wolf loverboy made less fuss than this and they were innocent!'

'Boat's coming,' Savage said.

In the distance, a small row boat became visible - the dark shapes of the two cloaked dementors discernible in the gloom.

Peter began to howl in earnest and thrash around. 'No no - I won't go! Let me go, let me go!' He struggled and fought, and succeeded in poking Dawlish right in the eye with his elbow.

'Bugger! Curse the sod!'

And the wands were aimed at Peter, 'Petrificus Totalus.' Peter went stiff as a board and keeled over, frozen except for his ratty little eyes that darted around terrified and searching for escape. He was kept like that until the boat came - and then Dawlish took his shoulders and Savage took his feet. They carried him down the pier and then tossed him unceremoniously into the bottom of the boat.

Then, shuddering - and still with their wands raised, they clambered in after him and kept him covered - all the way to Azkaban - to make sure he did not transform.


The editor of the Daily Prophet had arrived back at the newsroom and called all his reporters into his office. 'Now - we got more than we bargained for today,' he told them, rubbing his hands together in glee. 'A much bigger and better story than any of us ever anticipated - and we need to get the evening edition out pronto. Tell the world before somebody else scoops it.'

He looked around at them all, 'now I want someone at the Ministry - right now. The court reporter needs to get back here and file their copy on what went down at Black's retrial. But in the meantime I want someone talking to the aurors office, the Dangerous Beast Department, members of wizengamot... They held a show trial for two innocent men, locked them up and tried to throw away the key. They came within two days of chopping the wolf's head off.'

His voice took on a tone of mock righteousness. 'Now I'm sure I don't need to tell you what a grave miscarriage of justice that is, how our faithful readers deserve to know about the corruption and incompetence at the heart of their government. It was Sirius Black and Remus Lupin today - but it could be any of them tomorrow. And they need to know it . I want an exposé on every department that had a hand in this - and I want someone to talk to that idiot, Snape.'

His smile became very nasty indeed. 'Those Ministry bastards are going to rue the day they tried to put a muzzle on this newspaper.'


As the wizengamot had filed out of the courtroom, Sirius had chased after Dumbledore - calling after him, and not allowing the old man out of his sight. He ran up the stairs, flight after flight of them, and finally caught up with the headmaster in the Ministry's golden atrium.

'Dumbledore!'

At last, the old man seemed to hear him and turned around. 'Ah, Sirius,' he smiled, his genial smile.

'Kingsley said I needed to speak with you. About Harry. I'm his Godfather, Dumbledore - Harry belongs with me. It's what James would have wanted.'

The smile faded on Dumbledore's face, and his twinkling blue eyes grew dim. He looked at Sirius with something akin to sympathy, but when he spoke he spoke to a fellow wizengamot member, not to Sirius. 'Cornelius? Could I borrow your office for a moment? This is a conversation that needs to be had in private.'

Cornelius Fudge looked curious, but he nodded. Dumbledore thanked him and led Sirius away.

...

Once they were in private, Dumbledore closed the door and gestured to a chair, 'take a seat, Sirius.' He himself settled down behind Fudge's desk. He steepled his fingers and peered over the top of them, once again smiling genially.

'What's going on, Dumbledore?' Sirius asked. His voice was suspicious. 'I've been cleared of all charges. I'm a free man. Harry needs to be with me now.'

'Yes you have,' Dumbledore agreed, 'yes you are … and no, I'm afraid, he doesn't.'

Sirius felt a surge of anger rise in him, his cheeks flamed red hot. 'I'm his legal guardian. You can't keep him from me.'

'No - I suppose I can't. But I will appeal to your better nature, your better judgement. I ask that you hear me out -'

...

But Sirius wasn't listening, 'you think I can't take care of him? Why? I took care of him when we were on the run.'

'Yes - you both took good care of him. I don't deny that.'

'Then why?' He flushed in anger again. 'Is it because of Remus? Because he's too dangerous to be around Harry? He's not. I would never let anything happen - I can protect them both. James would never say Remus was too dangerous to care for his son.'

Dumbledore shook his head, sadly. 'No - no. I do not doubt that Remus would make an admirable guardian of Harry. I am sure that he would have been James and Lily's second choice after you. His condition is a … regrettable complication, but certainly not an insurmountable one.'

A sudden thought struck Sirius, and this time he flushed with embarrassment. 'Is it because we're … that the two of us …? Because we're still fit to be Harry's guardians. It's not wrong.'

'No it isn't,' Dumbledore's look was almost pitying now. 'Of course it isn't. And it isn't that. Please - stop guessing and hear me out.'

...

Sirius folded his arms and looked at the old man defiantly, but he stayed quiet and nodded his head - telling Dumbledore he could continue.

'Thank you, Sirius. Now, even without the ... excitement of the past two months, I would still have placed little Harry into the care of his aunt. Before you even took him I had already dispatched Hagrid to collect him and bring him to his muggle relatives. What could have been spared, if he had just got there a little sooner…'

He went quiet as he contemplated a different world, a different version of events; where Harry had been found by Hagrid and none of this had ever happened. How much simpler things could have been. But the sliding doors of time had closed off one pathway, and here they were - travelling along another, with no way off.

...

'The fact of the matter is,' Dumbledore said, gravely, 'that Harry's aunt is the best and safest person for him to be with.'

'But she doesn't even love him! You should have seen how she was holding him, how she ignores him. He was crying - and she did nothing. He doesn't cry with me. Harry deserves to be with people he loves, people who love him. Me and Remus love him!'

Again, Dumbledore looked sad. 'I know. It is … unfortunate that Petunia Dursley does not have enough love in her heart to bestow any on her nephew. I wish … I cannot tell you how much I wish that Lily's family were better people. And I do not doubt that you and Remus could provide Harry with the happiest and most loving home, that he would grow up with you both feeling secure and cherished … But I am afraid he needs more than the feeling of security. He needs something far greater than he needs love. I am afraid he needs protection, Sirius, from Lord Voldemort. Voldemort is not gone - not by a long shot. And he will be back. And Harry will be in danger. And Petunia offers him the best chance of protection he has. She alone can keep him safe.'

'But she's a muggle!' Sirius burst out. 'How can she possibly stand against Voldemort if he turns up on her doorstep?'

'With respect, Sirius, how could you? How could Remus? Do you really believe that the two of you could stand longer than James did? Fight harder than Lily did? Do you really think that, in the event of Voldemort's return, in his hunting you down, the two of you could do any better than your old friends managed? All you could do is stand in front of Harry, and die for him…And Lily has already done that.'

...

He sighed deeply. His eyes seemed to have misted over as he contemplated Lily's great sacrifice. 'And that is why the boy must remain with his aunt. By laying down her life for his, Lily has imbued Harry with a most ancient form of magical protection. It is why the curse rebounded - her sacrifice is what destroyed Voldemort's power - and it lives on in her blood. In Harry. And in Petunia. As long as Harry lives within the safety of his mother's bloodline, Voldemort - no matter how he may try it - will never be able to touch him. But remove him from his aunt's home… and Harry is as vulnerable to the forces of darkness as he was the night you found him alone in his crib, his parents dead and the house destroyed.'

Dumbledore leaned forward, and fixed his gaze on Sirius - who shifted sulkily beneath it. 'Ultimately, it is Harry's safety that matters more than anything. How I wish we could ensure his happiness too … but his safety must come first. And - as his legal guardian - it is your duty to put his needs above your own. Think about it, Sirius, what would James say to you if he were here?'

...

Sirius closed his eyes. 'I don't want Harry growing up with that great git, Dursley,' he heard Prongs say in his mind. ' Have you seen the state of him? He doesn't even have a neck! I don't want Harry growing up in a neckless household … it's not natural.'

He bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

'But … I do want Harry to grow up, Padfoot, old friend. Nothing matters more. His safety is more important than you and Moony and a game of happy families. Me and Lily were a happy family. Look what happened to us. She might be a sour faced old trout, but Petunia will keep him safe. Let her do it, Padfoot. Do what's right for Harry, not what feels right for you.'

...

Sirius opened his eyes again to find Dumbledore watching him keenly. 'Alright,' he nodded. 'I'll let you keep him with the muggles. But I'm not just abandoning him to them. James wouldn't want that.'

'I cannot stop you from seeing Harry, Sirius. Nor would I try. I just needed you to agree to let him live within Lily's protection.'

'I agree.'

'Very good.' The light seemed to grow bright in his eyes again. 'Well then, Remus will arrive back at the Ministry soon, I believe his transport is already underway. Why don't you go home and get cleaned up, ready to see him again?'

'I want to wait for him, I want to be here waiting for him.'

He got another pitying look. 'You haven't washed in a month. You have spent the last three nights sleeping rough under a bridge. Remus will have to have a hearing, same as you did, before we let him go. You have time to shower, change and come back before he is released.'

'But he will be released?' Sirius said suspiciously. 'Same as me?'

'You have my word. The hearing is merely a formality - to take his testimony and amend his record. I will be there, and I will not stand for anything but a full pardon and immediate release. Go on, Sirius - get cleaned up. He'll not want you, looking the way you do now.'

...

Although there was a very definite twinkle in Dumbledore's eye as he said that, Sirius still felt himself blush. He dropped his eyes for a moment - and when he looked up again found himself in receipt of yet another pitying stare.

'Oh, come now, Sirius. You surely can't believe that you are the first boy to have ever fallen in love with another boy?'

'I-' He had nothing to say to that and just flushed again.

'You thought it was only you. And Remus thought it was only him. And the fact that it was both of you at the same time should have tipped you off to the fact that neither of you were the first, nor will you be the last.'

'People act like it's wrong. They laugh.'

'Love is never wrong. It is precious. And to be loved in return by the one you love is the greatest privilege a person can ever know. What you and Remus have is a gift. There is no shame in it. Don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for simply being in love.'

'No, sir.' He felt suddenly like he was back at Hogwarts, that he had been called into Dumbledore's office and was being given a stern talking to. Though that had actually only ever happened the once … that time with Snivellus and Moony.

Perhaps Dumbledore could sense something of what he was thinking, perhaps he too suddenly felt like they were headmaster and pupil once again, because his tone of voice seemed to take on a much more headmasterly air. 'Run along now then, Sirius. You have the whole of the rest of your life to live. I cannot tell you how pleased I am that things have turned out this way. I cannot think of a time I have ever been more delighted to be proven wrong.'

And with that, the interview was over - and Sirius was dismissed.