They Say Follow Your Heart But If Your Heart Is In A Million Pieces Then Which Piece Do You Follow?- Unknown
Kurt slowly opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. He was the only one there and he was wondering why he felt like he had gotten hit by a bus when all the events from the previous came flooding back to him. It instantly shocked him and before he knew it he was crying. When the first thing you do in the morning is cry, you know it's not going to be a good day but Kurt didn't know how it could get any worse. He had thought about everything the previous night and tried to convince himself to get over it because nothing could be done about it.
He had broken up with Blaine. They were done and he had accepted that even though the wounds were still fresh (both physically and emotionally). He had also accepted the injuries and bruises that Blaine had given him. But it was Blaine. Blaine had hurt him. Blaine was jealous. He was cold hearted and he had proven to Kurt that he didn't truly care about him. And Sam found out without Kurt even telling him. He knew Sam had sworn to keep his secret but what if someone else found it? What would his friends who were smarter than Finn think when they learned that he had been badly beaten up the same night that he had broken up with Blaine? If Sam was smart enough to figure it out then surely someone like Quinn or Rachel could? It was hard enough trusting Sam, he didn't think he could trust anyone else besides Sebastian.
He knew that Sebastian knew he had been missing and he wondered if he now knew that he showed up at home. He probably did though and Kurt would have to text him later to tell him what happened. He needed to tell someone to get it off his chest. He had vaguely described the events to Sam but he hadn't said all of it and he knew that Seb would understand the most. That he would be the most comforting in Kurt's current situation and that he would just listen and then would give his thoughts and opinions.
Sebastian had never really liked Blaine. Kurt and him had been friends before Kurt had met Blaine and Sebastian could instantly tell that Kurt liked him. At first, Sebastian was very supportive and tried to get the two of them together but then he started to figure out that Blaine was trying to lead Kurt on and he didn't like that. Sebastian had confessed his suspicion to Kurt but he had just waved him off and told him that he was being ridiculous. If only he had listened to him. But then they eventually started dating and that made Sebastian hate Blaine even more. He hated how Blaine treated Kurt like an object. How whenever Blaine saw Kurt talking to another boy how possessive he got, hanging onto him and kissing him every chance he got. How jealous he was of Kurt to see that he got along with other people besides him.
And the worst part of all was how big of a flirt Blaine was. He hit on everyone, including Sebastian himself. He was subtle about it, so subtle that Kurt didn't seem to catch on to him but some people seemed to notice and they didn't like it. Blaine would hit on Nick, making Jeff angry and they eventually stopped hanging out with him unless Kurt, Sebastian or some of the other Warblers were around. The same happened with Wes and David. And maybe Kurt did catch on and he just didn't say anything because he didn't want to upset him which was just another reason why their relationship was so crappy.
Even though Kurt didn't know it, Sebastian loved him. More than a friend as a lover. They had known each other every sense they were kids and had grown up with one another. They had stayed friends when Sebastian had moved to Paris and Sebastian had comforted Kurt the best he could when he learned that Kurt was getting bullied. He moved back to Ohio around the time that Kurt had transferred to Dalton and it felt good for them to be so close again. It was like nothing had even changed between them, they had fallen right back in sync. When he had first moved back he was happy just being Kurt's friend but then he realized that he had feelings for Kurt. It was too late though because Kurt was already falling for Blaine. And you could say that Sebastian hated Blaine so much because he was jealous of him and maybe that was part of the reason. The bigger reason, the more important reason why Sebastian hated him was because of how much he hurt Kurt and how he was such a manipulative asshole and that Kurt couldn't see it.
Sebastian had been there for Kurt all the times that Blaine had made him cry. Kurt's first week at Dalton had ended with him having a mental breakdown because he was so stressed out with the workload and to top it all off, Blaine had told Kurt that he needed to blend in more if he wanted to be a better member of the Warblers. Then when Kurt thought that Blaine had a crush on him just for him to find out that it was on some closeted guy from the GAP. And then Kurt still went to support Blaine even though he was heartbroken and even when the whole serenade had turned to shit and when Kurt had told Blaine that he thought it was for him and Blaine still stood turned him down. Blaine had picked someone who was still in the closet over Kurt and that had hurt him. Which in turn made Sebastian angry. But there was still more. Then there was the night that the three of them had gone to Rachel's party and Blaine had gotten drunk and made out with Rachel Berry. At first, Kurt thought it was hilarious but as the kissing between the two lasted longer and he saw how much Blaine had enjoyed it, Sebastian could tell that Kurt was once again hurt by the asshole. And why wouldn't he be, first Blaine chose a guy that was five years older than him, who was still closeted when Kurt was young and out and proud and now he had chosen a girl when he was gay. It just got worse when Blaine told Kurt that he was going on a date with Rachel to the point where Kurt made a comment about bisexuality making Blaine compare him to Karofsky, someone who had threatened to take Kurt's life. No way were those two the same things, not even close. But of course in the end, both boys apologized and Kurt went right back to staring at Blaine with heart eyes. And of course Sebastian was the one to comfort Kurt the whole time while he cried his heart out over someone who didn't deserve him. Sebastian's last straw was when they had performed "Animal" for their sister school and afterwards Blaine had said that Kurt's dance moves made him look like he was having gas pains, ultimately calling Kurt un-sexy. Now when Kurt had come crying to Sebastian telling him what Blaine had said he was furious to say the least. Kurt was the sexiest person he knew, his dance moves were awesome and Blaine didn't know the fuck what he was talking about and Sebastian wanted to give him a piece of his mind. And he would've if it wasn't for Kurt, wanting to stand up and protect his crush.
And then the next week, Pavarotti had died and when Kurt had sung him a song, Blaine had figured out his love for the boy. Kurt had been his friend, had been open with his feelings for him and he finally felt that way about him back when Kurt had sung a song about a dead bird. Perfect way to start off a relationship. It only made things even worse when Blaine had chosen a break-up song for their duet. They sang their duet at Regionals and even though Kurt had done great (and in Sebastian's opinion, less could've been said about Blaine) they still lost but Kurt was as happy as ever.
And Sebastian should've been happy for him but he wasn't. Because he was the one who had been there for Kurt the whole time and he was the one who had actually, truly loved him yet Kurt had eyes for no one except Blaine. And Kurt wasn't the only one who was all over Blaine etheir. All but a handful of Warblers (him, Nick, Jeff, Thad, David, Wes and Trent) worshipped the ground that Blaine walked on and he was a respected member of Ohio because of his dad's wealth. But then Sebastian had wealth and he could sing and was just as good looking and yet he was always second best to the "Golden Boy". So maybe he was jealous of Blaine but Blaine was still an ass in his opinion and he didn't deserve anyone like Kurt. He was just waiting for the day when Kurt realized that so Sebastian could have him. So Sebastian could be happy and could feel like someone actually wanted him, like he was worth something.
But Kurt was oblivious to his friend's feelings for him and thought that Blaine was his only option. And now that that option was gone, Kurt thought that he was never going to find someone who loved him again. Then he realized that he had never found that person in the first place and that hurt him even more. Kurt eventually stopped his crying and got up to go to the bathroom so he could clean himself up some. He looked in his mirror and regretted his decision again because this time he looked worse. His face was no longer red, it was black and blue with some yellow and purple also. His pale, smooth, angel-like skin was now ruined with bruises and scrapes and blemishes and it was all Blaine's fault. Or maybe it was all his fault, he still had mixed feelings about his role in Blaine's attack. He sighed, running a hand on his face before opening his cabinet to get out a washcloth and his toothbrush. He washed off his face with cold water, waking himself up some more and wiping his tears and then brushing his teeth, the taste of mint making him nauseous. His head still hurt and he probably had a concussion, which was just something else to add to his list of "my life is completely going downhill and here's why". He rinsed his mouth out and contemplated on whether to throw up or not. His stomach hurt but he didn't have the energy to get rid of his banana from the night before and he didn't like the feeling. Might as well stall some more since it was eventually going to happen anyway.
He left the bathroom and made his bed before leaving his bedroom to go downstairs. He remembered falling asleep with Finn and Sam in his bed and wanted to see where they had gone off to. He didn't like the idea of waking up alone when his brothers had previously been there with him even though he wasn't really expecting them to stay with him until he woke up. He went downstairs into the dining room where he saw a nicely arranged table with breakfast items on it. He heard noise coming from the kitchen and went inside to see Sam and Finn yelling orders at one another. They hadn't seemed to notice that he had entered the room so Kurt cleared his voice, causing the two of them to stop and turn their heads.
"Hey, Kurt," Sam exclaimed. "You're awake," Kurt just nodded his head, feeling weird like he didn't know where he was. He was confused but he didn't know what he was confused about. He was confused about being confused.
"We made breakfast," Finn said with a dopey smile. "There's pancakes and eggs and fruit and bacon." He said, listing the items that they had made.
"And Carol let us pick some flowers from her garden so we could put them on the table," Sam added. "It's all for you." Kurt continued to stare.
"Are you feeling okay... better?" Finn asked, noticing the look on his brother's face and instantly becoming concerned but Kurt continued to stare, looking straight ahead.
"Yeah, you're kind of freaking us out, Kurt. Can you say something?" Sam asked him, wearing the same expression as Finn.
"Where's Carol?" Kurt asked, shakily. He didn't know what was happening but he was feeling ten times worse than he had been feeling which was saying a lot. He was getting dizzy and nothing was making any sense to him. He needed Carol or his dad.
"She went out to run some errands and to get your foot thingy," Finn told him. "And Burt went to work. He said for us to look out for you. Why, what's up?"
"Nothing," Kurt lied but his body betrayed himself right then and there when he started to cry. "I'm fine I just need to go back to bed," He said before breaking down into tears. It was as if he couldn't control his emotions and Sam and Finn just stood there, shocked, having never seen Kurt in the state that he was in before. Kurt hugged himself and Finn and Sam finally acted, going over to Kurt and hugging him.
"Hey, don't cry," Sam told him. "It's okay,"
"Kurt, what's wrong? Why are you crying right now?" Finn asked.
"I just… I don't feel good," Kurt told them. "I want my dad,"
"Oh, okay. Well we can call him," Finn offered but Kurt shook his head.
"No, it's fine. I don't want to worry or bother him while he's working. I just need to go back to bed." Kurt assured them, taking deep breaths in order to calm down.
"Are you sure?" Sam asked. "I'd think he'd want to know if you needed him,"
"I'm sure.., I'll call Seb instead," Kurt told them.
"Oh," Finn said, "Okay, well do you want something to eat. We promise the food isn't poisoned or anything."
"I'm not hungry," Kurt told them and he felt bad when he saw the boy's face's fall a bit. He didn't want to disappoint them or make them feel bad, the gesture of making him breakfast was sweet but he didn't feel like eating. "Maybe later,"
"That's fine," Finn said. "We'll save you some,"
"Go back to bed and we'll let Sebastian in for you when he gets here," Sam added. "Do you want one of us to come with you? You know, so you aren't alone."
"No, it's okay. I'll be fine, all I'm going to do is fall asleep anyway." Kurt assured them and with that he went back upstairs into his room and laid back down on his bed, letting himself sink into his mattress and comforter. He didn't know what had just happened but he knew he didn't like it. He didn't have any control over himself or his emotions. If anything, Kurt needed control over himself, he needed consistency, something to rely on to know that things weren't crashing and burning. But then again the lack of control was because his life had crashed and was now on fire.
He found his phone on his table next to his bed and looked at it for the first time since the time he had turned the ringer on it off. And it sure went to show because when he opened his notifications he saw what seemed to be a thousand text messages from all his friends. He went through each one of them, not responding but just reading them.
From Brittany
To Kurt: kurtie, where r u? finn said that u r missing and i need my !
From Santana
To Kurt: Lady Hummel, where are u? Finnigan is having a meltdown because he says you're missing. Answer me now or else I'll find you, dead or alive and you won't be happy
From Noah
To Kurt: Princess, where the fuck are you? Finn and Sam are freaking out and Blaine says you left his house and no one's seen you since. Are you okay?
From Sebastian
To Kurt: Kurt what the fuck babe? Where are you? Don't tell me you're dead in a ditch somewhere. Text me back ASAP. Love ya
From Jeff
To Kurt: Kurtie, are you okay? Your brothers are freaking out and no one has seen you around. Please don't be dead. Call me when you can
From Nick
To Kurt: Kurt, Jeff and Seb are freaking out, please tell me you're ok and aren't missing. We're out looking for you right now
From Rachel
To Kurt: Where are you? Everyone is so worried. Blaine's crying because he thinks you're dead or something. Call someone ASAP
From Mike
To Kurt: U ok dude? You're freaking everyone out
From Mercedes
To Kurt: Boo, you better tell someone where the hell you are right now or else I'mma about to come find you myself and trust me I ain't happy. But seriously Kurt, call someone for god's sake, you don't want to give your dad another heart attack. Love you
From Tina
To Kurt: Finn and Blaine say that you're missing. I know everyone else has probably texted you now but are you okay? Tell me if you need someone to pick up or something
From Sam
To Kurt: Dude, your dad is flipping out and so am I. Where are you? Text me when you see this. Hope you're okay
From Sebastian
To Kurt: Okay seriously what the hell? Where are you? Are you cheating with Blaine? It's about goddamn time. Okay no jokes. You're scaring me babe, please tell me that you're okay!
From Finn
To Kurt: Bro, where are you? I'm so scared, why aren't you answering anyone? Please tell someone where you are
From Artie
To Kurt: Kurt, man where are you. I've got Mercedes, Santana and Finn yelling at me and telling me that you're missing. We're worried
From Quinn
To Kurt: Kurt hon, where are you? Everyone is worried sick and Mercedes and I are looking for you but we can't find you. Please be alright
From Sebastian
To Kurt: That's it Kurt, I love you but it's been an hour. WTF!? Answer someone for crying out loud. I'm fucking scared babe
They were a bunch of other texts from Wes, Trent, David and the rest of the Warblers along with Mr. Schue and even for some weird reason Jesse St. James but Kurt couldn't be bothered to read any more of them. He went to his call log to find hundreds of missed calls but he only called one person back.
He clicked on the contact information and called the number, waiting for the call to go through.
"Kurt, you better be alive or else I'm coming to bring your gay ass back from hell," He heard Sebastian yell through the phone.
"It's me Seb. I'm alive." Kurt assured him and he heard Sebastian take a deep breath and say, "Thank fucking god," before returning back to his phone.
"You scared the shit out of everyone last night. Finn called me and told me you showed up covered in blood and bruises. Who did that to you? I'll beat their ass,"
"Seb, can you just come over?" Kurt asked, breaking Sebastian's heart when he heard how scared and vulnerable Kurt sounded. "Please, it's just easier to explain when…"
"I'm already on my way," Sebastian said, cutting him off. "I'll be there in like, twenty minutes. I'm bringing ice cream. And you have a lot of explaining to do babe."
"Okay just, please hurry Seb," Kurt begged, his voice breaking. "I'm so scared,"
"I will babe, I promise," Sebastian assured him. "See you when I get there. And don't be scared. You're gonna be okay,"
Sebastian hung up and Kurt laid his head back on his pillow, the tears continuing to stream down his face. He was so exhausted and confused and just afraid. He had never felt this way before in his entire life, not when all the bullying occurred or when Karofsky threatened to kill him. He was shaken to the core and it probably had to do with the fact that he thought he could trust Blaine but he had hurt him. That now made it hard for him to trust anyone. He drifted off back to sleep, crying and hoping that Sebastian would arrive soon.
"Hey Finn," Sebastian said, arriving at the Hummel-Hudson house. "Kurt's here right?"
"Yeah he's in his room," Finn said, letting Sebastian in. "Just before you go, there's somethings you should probably know."
Sam joined them as Finn continued. "He's in a really fragile state right now. He came down here this morning and burst into tears and we don't really know why."
"Just don't freak him out Seb," Sam added. "I don't know how you would seeing that he loves you but take it slow and don't yell."
"Don't pressure him,"
"Ask to touch him and don't move around too much,"
"Try to get him to eat something,"
"And be nice,"
"You guys, chill out," Sebastian told the boys. "I think I can handle it. I got him some ice cream and I just want to make sure he's alright. I got this,"
"Fine," Finn said. "Just follow our advice and don't make him cry,"
"I won't," Sebastian assured before turning to go up to Kurt's room. He knocked on the door and when he didn't hear a response he slowly opened the door and walked inside.
"Kurt? Babe, are you here?" He asked and he saw something moving in Kurt's bed and was happy to see that it was him. That was until he saw all the bruises on his face. Fuck staying calm, Sebastian was pissed off and wanted to beat the crap out of whoever hurt his friend.
"Oh my god," He said, his eyes wide as he made his way over to Kurt's bed. "You look terrible,"
"Gee thanks," Kurt said, the sarcasm not present in his voice.
"You know what I mean. You're still the hottest person I know, babe," Sebastian assured the boy. "So I brought ice cream but do you want to eat it or put it on your face? Looks like it hurts,"
"It does, I'll go with my face" Kurt said as Sebastian passed him the pint sized tub.
"So, are we going to pretend that nothing happened last night or…?"
"Seb, if I tell you what happened then you have to swear to me that you won't tell anyone, okay?" Kurt told him. "I'm serious, Sam's the only other person that knows and he promised not to tell anyone so you can too. Please?"
"I promise," Sebastian said, kicking off his shoes and getting into bed with Kurt. "Spill it,"
"Okay," Kurt said, taking a deep breath. "Don't make me regret my decision,"
"I won't,"
"It was Blaine," Kurt said and was thankful that Sebastian was hiding his rage and anger. It was going to be so much easier if he just got it all out there before hearing Sebastian yell. "We were hanging out last night at his house and out of nowhere he just started yelling at me. He said that I spent too much time with you and Nick and Jeff and all the other guys and he accused me of cheating. He wanted to see my phone and even though I wasn't cheating on him I still told him no because it was a violation of my privacy and then he got mad and he…" His voice broke and Sebastian started rubbing circles on his backs, already knowing what Blaine did and boiling with rage. He was so going to kick his ass. "... he hit me. He hit me in the eye and my jaw and in my stomach and he shoved me against his wall and I hit my head. Somehow my ankle snapped and when I got home Carol had to snap it back into place. They think I have a concussion and my wrist is messed up too. My stomach hurts and it's all blue and he told me to leave once I told him he was hurting me. He said that he couldn't believe that I came to his house and told him that he was acting irrational. He said he didn't want to hurt me but that I hurt him first but he was just jealous. I didn't see how it was fair to me to give him my phone so I didn't and he hurt me. I thought I could trust him Seb but this wasn't even the first time this happened, it was just the worst. He said he would call me but I told him not to and I broke up with him. I told him how I felt and that he wasn't being fair to me and then I left. I didn't know what to do and the thought of a million people asking me a million questions was overwhelming so I put my phone on silent and that's why I didn't answer anyone's texts. I got home so late because Blaine had driven me to his house and I didn't have a ride home. I didn't want to deal with anyone or else I would've called someone to pick me up. It wouldn't have even taken so long if it wasn't for the fact that my ankle was dislocated and my body hurt like hell. Sam only knows that it was Blaine because he figured it out himself and confronted me but no one else knows and I'm just scared about what he's going to do now. Like what if everyone takes his side? Sam and Finn already said they're on my side but I'm not sure about everyone else and… I'm just so scared Seb," He finished saying before bursting into tears and burrowing his face in Sebastian's chest. "What if it's like Karofsky all over again and he threatens to kill me? I don't know what to do,"
"Is that all?" Sebastian asked, calmly.
"Yes, you can talk now," Kurt told him.
"Okay well first of all I applaud you for breaking up with that dickwad. He just lost the best thing in the world. Second of all, I know you probably don't want me to but I'm going to kick his ass once you stop crying. And trust me, he's going to look much worse than you do when I'm done. No one beats up my best friend."
"No Seb, you can't," Kurt cried, scared to death. "He'll know that I told you and I don't want anything else to do with him. I already told him to act like he didn't know me and that he needs to stay away from me if he's going to stay at McKinley. Sam and Finn already told me that they won't let him anywhere near me but I just don't want anything more to do with him."
"Kurt, you can't seriously be thinking about keeping this to yourself, babe," Sebastian told him. "He abused you and from what you said, he seemed like multiple times. He deserves to be in jail."
"Seb, please, you promised me you'd keep it a secret,"
"I know I did, fuck, you're right," He admitted. "It's just, you can't just tell me something like that and expect me to be okay and to not want to beat someone's ass. Everyone was so worried about you, Jeff actually started crying when we went out to look for you. And now I figure out that you were missing because of Blaine, your supposingly, loving boyfriend. I knew he was no good. I knew it and I should've never let you sing that god awful duet or let you go out with him."
"Seb, I'm a person you know," Kurt said, lifting his head off of Sebastian's chest. "I can make my own decisions and I can deal with their consequences. And that's what I intend to do. Yes Blaine was wrong but… you know, who knows maybe I did do something wrong and he had every reason to do what he did,"
"Are you serious right now?" Sebastian asked him, getting pissed off. "I hope this is just because you hit your head and that you aren't being fucking serious right now Kurt. How are you going to stand up for that asshole when he did this to you?"
"I'm just saying Seb. Maybe I really was in the wrong? I've just never seen him so angry about anything so maybe it… it was just me," He finished saying, lowering his voice to a whisper.
"No, you know what Kurt, Sam and Finn told me to go easy on you because you're in a quote on quote "vulnerable state" but you need to wake the fuck up, babe," Sebastian said, jumping out of the bed and staring at Kurt while Kurt avoided his eye contact. "For two years I've been in love with you, alright. I'm your best friend, I'm the one who's always there for you and for two years I've watched you as you followed Anderson around with heart eyes and then continued to give him heart eyes even though he treated you like you're a piece of garbage. He's flirted with other guys right in front of you, barely even trying to hide it and you still choose him. And you still choose him after what he did to you. But here I am, I haven't put myself in a relationship for two years because I have been waiting for the day when you would finally dump him and would choose me. But that's never going to happen is it? What's so great about him that you'd literally put yourself in an abusive relationship when you could have me? When you could have me and I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated? I remember when you used to come to me all the time last year, crying about how he didn't love you, how he would've rather dated a girl than date you and how he said you weren't sexy and then I watched as you went off to date him and I held my tongue because you seemed happy but then again you seemed happy. You really weren't and you know how I know? Because I love you. Because I know you and I know when you're happy and I know when the smile is fake and I know when you aren't being yourself. And you were being that way every single time you were around him. I love you Kurt, I love you and I'm not afraid to say it anymore but honestly…" His voice broke and he started to cry. ".. fuck I can't do this anymore. I can't sit around here while you fall for everyone else but me. It's just like how you felt about Blaine at Dalton last year, only you're better than Blaine. But then again maybe you aren't because you're doing the same thing that he did to you to me." He stopped talking, out of breath. This was how he had felt for two years and he had always been there for Kurt. Now he needed Kurt to be there for him. He needed Kurt to realize that he deserved better, that he deserved him.
"I never loved him Seb," Kurt whispered. "I thought I did but… I don't even know what love feels like,"
"I'll tell you what it feels like," Sebastian said, sitting back down on the bed and taking Kurt's hands. "It feels like you and me. I love you Kurt and I would do anything for you. And you love me too whether you realize it or not,"
"I don't know," Kurt said, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't want to mess anything up. You're my best friend, I don't want you to realize how messed up I am,"
"I don't care. I don't care if you're crazy or fucked up or anything Kurt. Just give me a chance, please," Sebastian begged him. "I'd treat you like a fuckin princess babe, I'd give you anything,"
"No," Kurt said a little too harshly, removing his hands from Sebastian's. "I can't. I don't lov… I don't feel… I just don't know how I feel, Seb. I'm sorry,"
"Oh," Sebastian said, the tears coming back to him. He softened his voice, disappointed. He was sure that Kurt loved him. That he was just hypnotized or manipulated by Blaine. But he was wrong. Kurt didn't love him and it hurt. It hurt so much and he couldn't take it. "That's fine. It's fine. Hey, look I just remembered that I have to go do something. Sorry I can't stay around but… it's not like you really need me anyway."
"No Seb, wait," Kurt said, realizing that he had hurt Sebastian. "I do need you, don't leave. I'm sorry. You're my friend, I just don't know about anything. After everything with Blaine… I just need to think about things for a while. I still want you."
"No, Kurt," Sebastian said, getting off the bed again and putting his shoes back on. "That's your problem. You're so obsessed with Blaine, you always want his opinion and it's like you live your life for him but he hurt you. I didn't and you still choose him. He did this to you," Sebastian said, gesturing to Kurt's face. "And yet you still care about him. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to you. I'm not going to stay around when I love you and you don't love me back and you're just going to run back into Anderson's arms because it hurts. You don't love me and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can go back to my own life. Because I have spent way too much time on you and Blaine and not on myself and that ends now."
"What are you saying Seb?" Kurt asked.
"I'm saying that I'm taking a break. I'm going to take some time for myself while I give you some space. Don't call me or text me unless you absolutely need me and if you do anyway I'm going to ignore you. You're obviously going through some shit right now and I don't really think you need me around now that I told you how I feel and you don't feel the same way. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all of this especially after what had happened but it's better this way. And don't try to change my mind either because I've already made it up. I just… I need some time and so do you."
"Seb wait," Kurt cried, once again not understanding what was happening. "Please don't go, I need you,"
But Sebastian didn't listen. "He grabbed his bag and headed towards the door. He took a dramatic pause before looking back at Kurt. Kurt seemed so broken and sad but so was Sebastian and he needed a break. "Goodbye Princess. Keep the ice cream." And with that he rushed out the door and walked right past Finn and Sam, towards the door.
"Hey man," He heard Finn say but ignored him. "Where are you going?"
"Home," Sebastian replied shortly.
"Oh, are you okay? I thought that you would stay with Kurt for a while," Sam said, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. He's the one who's not." Sebastian lied.
"Wait what? Seb what did you do man?" Finn asked.
"I did everything apparently," Sebastian snapped. "Okay, because I love him and he doesn't love me back. Get used to not seeing me around anymore because I told him I need a break. Sorry for not being gentle with him,"
And with that he rushed out the door, getting into his car and slamming the door shut. Finn and Sam just watched him as he drove off. He drove out of sight of Kurt's house before parking on the side of the street, bursting into tears. What had he just done?
Kurt sat up in his bed trying to figure out what had happened.
Sebastian loved him.
He didn't know whether he loved him back.
He didn't even know what love really felt like.
He had thought he loved Blaine but he didn't.
He had thought that Blaine loved him but he didn't.
He didn't want to mess anything up with Sebastian.
But he had anyway.
Is that all he did?
Just mess everything up with the people he cared about.
Because now Blaine was hitting him.
And his dad was acting weird.
And he had lost Sebastian, his best friend.
Should he even try to get him back?
Should he apologize or should he do what Sebastian wanted him to do and stay away?
God why was he such a screw-up, why did he ruin everything?
These thoughts bounced around his brain and no matter how hard Kurt tried to think of something else, he couldn't get rid of them. This was how his day got worse. Sebastian was gone and it was all his fault. He had been right there this whole time and Kurt had been blinded by Blaine. Blaine had ruined everything for him. Wait, no it wasn't Blaine's fault, it was his. Or it was both of their faults. He had been a bad friend to him while Sebastian had been nothing but comforting and caring and now he blew everything.
He laid back in his body, hugging himself up in a ball and crying. Sobbing. He couldn't breathe and once again, he had no control over himself. How does one's life fall apart so quickly in less than twenty-four hours? How does one lose so much? Just his luck.
He drifted off back to sleep and didn't hear when Sam knocked on his door. Sam, not having gotten a response from Kurt, opened the door and saw that Kurt was asleep. He noticed the tear stains on his face and contemplated waking him up to ask him what had gone down between him and Sebastian or letting him sleep. He decided to let him sleep, seeing that he was probably exhausted and that he would get upset if Sam woke him up. He would ask Kurt about it later and Sam only hoped that Kurt was going to be alright.
And it only gets worse from here, sorry guys :( Yes, I know it seems a little bit rushed and maybe even out of character for Sebastian to do what he did but it's a big part of the story. Just but yourself in his shoes though. For two years he's been the one who truly loved Kurt and Kurt didn't seem to notice that and instead chose Blaine like everyone else. And now Blaine hurt Kurt and Sebastian tells Kurt that he loves him and Kurt doesn't get it. But then put yourself in Kurt's shoes and see that Blaine, someone that he thought he loved and could trust, broke him and his trust and now he doesn't know who he can trust and is scared to mess up his relationship with Sebastian because he thinks he is at fault for Blaine's actions. Kurt's dealing with trauma and the effects from Blaine and Sebastian is dealing with self-esteem issues. Poor babies 😭😭 I cried when I read what I wrote when Sebastian told Kurt about his feelings. This chapter was so sad and like I said before, it doesn't get much better for a while. But thanks for reading and please, if you have any comments, questions or feedback then don't be afraid to reach out to me. Thanks for reading and have a great day/night :)
