So happy his chest could burst
Remus struggled with the groceries he carried on his arms as he opened the door to his house, mildly concerned about the sounds coming from inside. Unless Teddy and the Potter boys had made an early return from their trip to the London Zoo, the only explanation for the raucous inside was his own wife.
The second the door was ajar; his forehead was hit by a spoon. He dodged a flying dish, punched a pot lid, and kicked a wayward pan just before it made contact with very tender parts of him. He retreated and pulled the door shut, holding on to the groceries tighter, keeping the pastries from falling off.
This would take special measures.
He placed the grocery bags on the floor, just by the door. He took his wand out of his pocket and placed his hand on the door handle.
Memories flooded his mind. He had once found Sirius in a similar predicament, at Godric's Hollow no less, while trying to be a trustworthy babysitter that could leave a clean house and a sleeping baby behind. He had accomplished neither by the time Remus arrived, if he remembered correctly. James had had to bite a pillow from the sofa to keep his laughter from waking baby Harry when Remus had told him of Sirius hiding from the domestic mayhem in the nursery, wand at the ready as if the pots could open the door and knock some sense into his head.
Merlin, he missed them. And he should have known better than to trust his wife with chores, given that her cousin had been a true menace whenever housekeeping was involved.
"I had House-Elves growing up, Moony," he used to say, "and my mother would probably skin me on the spot if she ever caught me doing their work."
A loud metallic bang brought his mind back to the present. The boys would be back soon, and he could not let them come inside to a rebellious kitchen. Dora would never hear the end of it, and Teddy would forever try and dodge his chores for the faintest chance of seeing this happen again.
He breathed in, using a silent spell to cast a shield around him, breathed out, turned the doorknob and pushed the door in.
It was far worse than what he had expected. He quickly moved inside, and shut the door behind him. A couple of forks and a sauce pan he did not remember owning collided against his shield, which reverberated around him.
"Merlin's sake… Dora? Dora!"
His call went unanswered. Great. Dora had probably gone out, leaving the kitchen to sort itself out after lunch. As if their kitchen could be trusted to behave when he was not around. He pointed his wand at the flying kitchenware, and ordered them to stop.
"Finite Incantatem!"
The noise that followed was beyond description. His ears were left ringing, as every single pan, pot and baking tray they owned came crashing down, accompanied by the smashing of dishes, teacups and glasses, and the clanging of all the cutlery.
"Ouch!" Remus whispered, pressing his fingers to his ears. Heightened senses weren't always a good thing, and he had been made keenly aware of the fact ever since his son had entered his life.
He measured his steps as he crossed the living room, taking in the mess as he went. There would be a lot of repairing to do, and a lot of cleaning. The kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off, and he exhaled through his nostrils, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What, on god's green earth, was she thinking?"
He let his shield fall, turned around and retrieved the groceries from the hallway. There were fresh pastries and hot bread, and the smell would soon have the neighbour's cat interested.
As he made his way back inside, he could smell something burning. Remus dashed through the domestic warzone his house had turned into, dropped the groceries on the kitchen table and set about the task of restoring things to order. He noticed something in the oven, and opened it to find a tray of burnt biscuits. The oven had been turned off already, so that was one worry off his list. He left the biscuits to cool off on the stove, and pulled on his sleeve just enough to take a look at his watch. The boys should be arriving at any moment, now.
He toyed with his wand for a second, choosing where to begin. He started by repairing the broken dishware, then went about making sure everything found its proper place in the cabinets along the wall. Pots and pans were next, merrily clinging and clanging their way through the air and onto the shelves. Forks, knifes and spoons soon followed, along with the mismatched assortment of whisks, spatulas and tongs.
Remus looked around, making sure everything was in its proper place. His home felt a little odd whenever they were done cleaning and tidying. There was usually a messy veneer about the place, with Dora and Teddy leaving things behind everywhere and Remus hopelessly putting them back, but it was theirs.
He could hear the boys at the door, their giddy enthusiasm a nearly palpable thing, and Harry at the gate, telling them to wait. He could feel their energy like lightning coming through the clouds as they ran up the stairs to the hallway, and then raced to the door, which they smashed into.
"Boys, you're supposed to use the doorbell," Harry chided.
"I'm pretty sure that counts as knocking," James said.
The giggles beyond the door made Remus chest feel too small for his heart. He took long strides to the door and pulled the door wide open.
"Hello, boys! How were the animals?"
There was such a flurry of excited answers that none were truly discernible. Remus laughed, and Harry joined him.
"No one made it into the enclosures, so I count myself amongst the lucky ones," Harry said, winking, handing him a bag with a change of clothes and pyjamas for his sons.
Remus hugged Teddy, making sure to tousle his bright blue hair, and set the bag by the door.
"Did anyone give you trouble about your hair?"
His son had developed a penchant for bright blue hair, but the idea of an eleven-year-old with what looked like dyed didn't always sit well in Muggle London.
"This one lady tried," Teddy replied, smirking, "but James told her it was a wig and that all my hair had fallen off. We got to skip a couple of lines because of it."
Both boys looked up, obviously proud. Harry winced, and Albus had the decency to look ashamed. Remus' eyes searched for Harry's, and found nothing but amusement, barely tainted by a smidge of remorse.
"Let's just say I'm glad he's your kid and not Hermione's," Harry said, blushing and running his fingers through his hair. "Where's Dora?"
"Out, I guess. Must have gone to the shop for something," Remus replied, "but she'll be home soon. I got pastries from her favourite spot."
Harry pushed Albus through the threshold and leaned on the door instead of stepping inside. Teddy and James were already running into the kitchen, looking for food. Albus waved his dad goodbye and followed.
"Save me an apple turnover, James! You ate them all last time!"
"I got you, Albus," Teddy screamed, "I'll guard the apple turnovers for you."
"I swear I fed them, Remus, not even an hour ago-"
"But their stomachs are bottomless pits. I'm well aware." Remus chuckled. "Would you like a cup of tea before you go? Coffee? Dora made biscuits, but I like you, so I won't offer you those. There's fresh apple turnovers, and pains au chocolat."
"No, thank you. Ginny and I haven't had any time for ourselves lately. At least Lily Luna is sleeping through the night, so we do get to sleep. Thanks for watching over the boys, tonight. I'll be here in the morning."
"Don't worry, take your time. They can have lunch here. Teddy will love it. Who's got Lily Luna? I thought she was coming, too."
"We figured the boys would be enough trouble. Ron and Hermione said they would take her. Ginny is dropping her over, along with their kids. She took Rose and Hugo to the park, instead."
"Divide to conquer?"
"We'd have to be mad to take all six to the Zoo," Harry laughed. "Mind if I get going? I promised Ginny I'd be home by five thirty."
"Enjoy your night off, Harry."
They hugged goodbye, and Remus watched Harry leave, making sure no Muggles would notice him entering the back alley, and not come out.
Remus walked into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets, wondering where Dora had gone. They had made sure to have everything ready before the boys arrived when it came to supplies. He wondered if she had gone to try and convince her mother to come over. Andromeda sure could use a family dinner.
He found Albus perched on a kitchen high stool, powdered sugar on his nose and apple turnover filling all over his cheeks, with Teddy by his side, holding the cardboard box of pastries close to his chest. James was sitting at the table, elbows on the table, munching on a pain-au-chocolat like it had wronged him.
"Boys, are you fighting over food?"
"Teddy won't let me have an apple turnover, Uncle Remus."
"Not until Albus has had two, James. You can have one then."
"Teddy…"
Remus had every intention of making Teddy relinquish the box of apple turnovers. He did. But there was a crash down the corridor, so he dashed out of the kitchen. With his luck, there would be a stray pot making a run for it.
"Give James an apple turnover, Teddy, and get Albus a napkin. Elbows off the table, James," he ordered in quick succession, as he left the kitchen and walked down the corridor.
There was a tall window at the end of the corridor, overlooking the veranda that enveloped the south side of their flat. He noticed one of the flower pots there missing, and the window left ajar.
The neighbour's cat must have wondered inside, he thought.
"Kids, watch out for Boots," he said over his shoulder, "I think he's having tea with us, too."
Remus looked around and took a peek at the veranda. No sign of the tabby cat that lived across the hallway but liked to hang around over this side because of the sun. The missing flower pot was down, cracked and spilling on the floor.
And next to it, sitting on the floor and curled up on herself, was his pink-haired wife stifling her laughter.
"What are you doing here? I thought you had gone out."
"I was trying to sneak outside," she said, giggling. "You know, so that I could come in and pretend that mess had happened while I was away and not hiding in the broom closet, fearing for my life because of rebellious charmed pots!"
Remus laughed, and Dora joined him, which lured the kids out of the kitchen. Teddy went into his room and emerged through the door to the balcony, followed by James and Albus.
"Did you change the colour of your hair?" Remus asked, leaning on the wall for support.
"I was trying to be discreet."
"And pale pink was the most sensible choice you could make?"
"I'm on a window and we have pale pink geraniums?"
"Sure way to hoodwink someone, love, no doubt," he said, bursting into a fit of laughter.
"It works, Dad, look!" Teddy said, already laughing as he changed his hair to periwinkle blue. "Now, I blend in because t-the sk-sky is… bl-blu-blue." Teddy bent over laughing, holding on to his belly.
Dora nearly fell over with the giggles she was trying to supress. Her hair sprang back to life, turning shocking pink, before settling on the usual bubble-gum pink. Remus had to sit down on the widow sill. James and Albus were utterly lost to the giggles.
"How did you do that, Dora?"
"I wanted to tidy kitchen. I don't know how I did that!"
"And then you hid in the broom closet and tried to leave through the window to save face?" Remus laughed from his belly, his whole body shaking, tears streaming down his face. "You're insane!"
"Must run in the family," Teddy said from where he had sat down.
"Ted!"
Remus meant to sound severe, but his voice cracked, and all semblance of propriety was lost. The five of them were left in stitches, and it took them a good ten minutes to leave the balcony and head back inside.
"If I use that in a conversation with Nana, will you get me a dog?" Teddy asked in passing.
"What!? No, Teddy, we will not," Remus answered, managing to at least sound serious.
"You wouldn't be alive to see the dog, kiddo," Dora japed.
"I can try. I guess it's now or never, I mean, I'm going to Hogwarts come September. You better not get a dog while I'm gone."
"There will be no dogs in this house, Teddy," Dora ascertained.
Their son looked at them like he might make a joke about there already being a wolf, but he decided against it.
"Come on kids. Back to the kitchen. We've got burnt biscuits to go around," Remus teased, winking at his wife while he let the boys pass him in the corridor.
"They're not burnt..." Dora said, indignantly, "they're just enthusiastically crisp!"
Remus stayed back, planning on fixing the broken pot, but his wife gently pushed him out of the way, meaning to do it herself, wand already in hand.
"Don't worry about the cleaning, I can handle this."
Remus laughed. Dora gave him a look that said "bite me".
"You cannot."
"I can. I'm a certified expert in handling messes."
"You're a certified expert in the making of messes. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Mrs. Expert."
Remus gingerly retrieved the wand from his wife's hand, while he pointed his own at the pot. He put it back together, levitated the poor geranium back into it, and cleared the soil left behind.
Dora wrapped her arm around his waist as they made their way to the kitchen, and made sure to hold him back for a quick snog.
"My biscuits are fine," she teased.
"I can smell it, dear wife, and my nose says they're burnt," Remus replied, pushing her against the wall for another kiss.
"What else can you smell?"
"Inappropriate things, considering there are children in the next room."
"We can ship them off to Potter."
"Why do you think we got the boys? Ginny went to drop their youngest at her brother's."
"How soon can we get them into bed?"
"Not soon enough."
Remus kissed his wife one last time, before taking her hand and tugging her into the kitchen, wondering if there were any pains-au-chocolat left.
Author's Note: Prompts and Challenges
Auction Day 4 Round 3- What If: ... Remus survived the final battle?
August Writing Club – Bromance to Romance 8 (word) Sneak; Written in the Stars 7 (word) enthusiasm; Murder or Marriage Murder 7 (Action) Taunting someone; Showtime 1 What's Inside - (word) Sugar; Film Festival 18 Dialogue: "Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Mr. Expert."; Lizzy's Loft 10 Trouble - I guess it's now or never [bonus]; Elizabeth's Empire 11 Rhino (action) punching something/someone; Angel's Archive 3 Pale Pink; Amber's Anime Adventure 6 (colour) periwinkle; They Said What? 9 [Masterchef] "It's not burnt... it's just enthusiastically crisp!" - Greg Wallace; Hobby Hole 17 Song: Swimming in Stars alt. 'Feel the energy like lightning coming through the clouds.'; Buttons Words 5 Hoodwink, Objects 4 Watch
Summer Seasonal Challenge – Days of the Year 29th June - Camera Day Write a snapshot fic (an in the moment snapshot of a relationship/a characters life/whatever you want. Like a slice of life); International Pirate Month 21 (restriction) must have 5 or more characters; Indoor Plant Week Amaryllis (trait) metamorphmagus; International Body Piercing Day - Ashley piercing (word) Fresh; Creative Ice Cream Day 5 Chocolate Remus Lupin and 36 Pineapple Nymphadora Tonks; International Beer Day 14 Weihenstephaner (Action) Stumbling over a word; Book Lover's Day 5 The Beaters' Bible by Brutus Scrimgeour: "Ouch."; Wife Appreciation Day 5 Nymphadora Tonks; Colours 6 Shocking Pink; Tarot Reading Nine of Cups Write about someone experiencing true happiness; Gryffindor Characters 13 Remus Lupin; Let's Put on a Show Cast (character) James Sirius Potter
Scavenger Hunt – 15 Write a story set in the Next Gen Era
365 Prompts – 164 (character) Remus Lupin
Fantastic Beasts and How to Collect Them - 199 Werewolf A human being who, upon the complete rising of the full moon, becomes an uncontrollable and deadly wolf - Character Remus Lupin
WC – 2517 words
