Caspian had told the crew what Lilliandli told himself and the Pevensie's.
For the curse of the Mist to be lifted, all Seven swords must be laid at Aslan's table. This, they were aware of. The new information was as follows: To find the final sword, they must travel to Dark Island. An island that is less than a day's travel. There, they will find the Seventh Sword, but the island itself is no easy task to be in. Lilliandli had said that to enter the Island, they will need "great courage". There was no clear answer to what lays inside the Island, or what will come out.
"I understand what I am asking you to do is not easy. Dark Island is what created the Mist that is terrorizing our land, our home. Our own minds. I will understand if not all of you wish to go. Those who do not wish to proceed may stay on Ramandu's Island until we return. I will not force you to continue if you do not wish to do so."
No one said anything at first. The journey the crew had been on had been filled with places and situations that they didn't sign up for. This was probably the first choice they had, and yet, still no one said a word.
"Ain't no way we backin' out now, Your Majesty. Not when we're so close." Everyone turned their heads to the back of the group to see Olmec standing with his arms crossed. "Wouldn't dream of stayin' behind after everythin'."
Sounds of chuckles and agreements ripped with the crew, each one becoming more clear than the next.
"We're with you, Caspian," Edmund said, who stood by Kathleen's side.
The ballerina-doubled-sailor nodded. She turned to Edmund then to Caspian determinedly, "Whatever comes our way, we will stand ready. One hundred percent."
"We'll be right by your side," Lucy said, placing her hand on Gael's shoulder. "Together."
Caspian's eyes looked over the crew and his friends. There was a small glimmer of awe in his eyes. Kathleen could see it in the slight water beginning to pool on his outer corners. He then smiled and closed his eyes. A small chuckle escaped him before he took a breath and opened his lids once again.
"Looks like the crew is ready, Your Majesty," Drinian called from the back. The crew's affirmations were louder than before. They were more ready than before. More excited than before. It was as though they could hear the crescendo of music, signaling the near end. Everything they worked for, suffered, and struggled through was all about to be laid out in front of them. And they were ready.
"Indeed," said Caspian. He stood closer to the people before him, and in return, they stood closer to him. "Here's the plan"
The Royals and Ballerina stood at the stern of the ship with Tovras and Drinian. They stood looking onwards at the growing sight in front of them.
The dark cloud around Dark Island was much bigger than Kathleen had anticipated. The Dawn Treader was barely a pea compared to the cloud ahead of them. The fog raised high into the sky while the green Mist itself had become harder to notice. If it wasn't for the breeze against her skin, Kathleen would have thought the mist was coming straight towards them; as if they were the static ones. The Mist itself might have been waiting for a time to strike, coming up with a plan all its own.
She began to twist the threads from her sleeve in between her fingers. The crew didn't speak much. Now and then she could overhear the others to keep their heads up. They helped each other out more than before, and whether that was to keep each other in check or to keep themselves busy, Kathleen wasn't sure.
"So," Tovras started with his voice gruffer than usual, "what do you think is in there?" Kathleen took a gulp.
Edmund took a glance at Tarvos then back to the Island, "Our worst nightmares."
Kathleen stopped twisting the threads at the end of her sleeves, "Our most horrid thoughts."
Caspian's voice rang through right after, sounding grimmer than before, "Our darkest wishes."
Drinian must have heard it too, as when he spoke, it was clearer than everyone. "Pure evil."
He stepped away from the wheel, which he had been steering, and told Tovras to open up the armory. He did so without question. Drinian then laid out commands for the rest of the crew to prepare themself. All around the main deck, men's heads turned away from the Island to their Captain and made their way to the armory. Tarvos finished giving out the rest of the battle preparations while the children and the King went down to their Cabins to get ready for- whatever was coming their way.
They were quiet on their way to the rooms. They stopped just before reaching the map room. Before they could open the door, Lucy jumped in Edmund's arms in a tight embrace, which he returned full-heartedly. They stood in each other's arms for a minute or two before letting. Then, Lucy turned to Caspain and did the same.
Kathleen stood by Drinian's cabin door, which he let the girls use to prepare themselves. She watched as Caspian and Lucy let go. So much was going on in her head, but she couldn't put a finger on where to start or where to go. The mission itself was dangerous, so much so, that their plan may not even work due to not knowing what was inside the massive cloud of mist right ahead of them. The crew didn't know and neither did the Captian.
She bit her bottom lip. She didn't like not knowing, but she couldn't let her mind wander that way. Not now. Their plan involved seeing through a worst-case scenario, and she didn't want to distract herself with dark "what-ifs". Not now.
She jumped a little when she felt something slip in her hand. It felt as though it fit perfectly against her's. It was warm. So very very warm. Looking down, she realized it was someone else's hand. Their hand wasn't as smooth as it was more tender. Kathleen could feel the callouses on their thumb as they lightly rested it against her fingers. She looked up, but she already knew who it was.
Edmund's eyes were like chocolate kept in the shadows. Even though most see brown as an insignificant eye color for someone to have; to Kathleen, Edmund held it with such telling. He was just as scared of the unknown as she was, she could see it, but she could also see he was trying to hide it. She wasn't sure if it was for her or for his sister, but it was there.
Kathleen squeezed his hand that lightly held onto hers. His skin was so soft as she pressed her finger against his. She wanted to press her forehead against his, just for a moment. Just for one minute to feel as though time will pause for them. Just one brief minute where they have time to breathe in each other's company. But Kathleen knew she couldn't have that. They both had responsibilities they need to complete before they get ready to go against the unknown.
Slowly, Kathleen stepped back and slipped her hand away from Edmunds. When he looked at him, she could swear she saw his chocolate brown eyes more reflective than before. Her heart pounded a bit as she did so. Not for what she saw, but what she felt.
Not ready to say goodbye just yet, Kathleen wrapped her arms around Edmund. It was swift and impulsive. She froze against him, surprised at herself. Yet, knowing she might not have another chance to do this, she relaxed, trying to get every little detail in. His height, barely two inches over her head, so she didn't need to stand on her toes as much. His shoulders, perfect for her arms to rest upon, whether it be in this embrace or for a lucky lady to place her hand for a dance. His scent, which was mainly ocean and sea salt, but beneath all that was a deeply permanent hint of cedarwood. His warmth. How was it that he was always so warm?
And then Kathleen felt his arms. His arms were wrapped tightly under her arms. One hand on her mid-back while the other was above it, keeping her snug in his arms. It felt natural. Like their bodies and arms wrapped around each other the way that they were was always meant to be. His arms were firm. Strong. But she knew that. The way he showed how to defended herself with the short sword. His voice. Like he was telling a captivating story and she just had to know how it ends.
She took one last selfish breath before she gently pulled away, but not to where she could no longer feel his touch. Still lightly holding to Edmunds's forearm and his in hers, she smiled at him as he looked up. The moment she did, she saw his shoulders relax. "Everything will be alright in the end." She didn't realize she was rubbing the fabric of his sleeve. "It always has been."
Edmund let a soft chuckle, turning his eyes back to their hands. "We never really knew what we were up against all those times, did we?"
A light laugh escaped her. "No. I don't suppose we did." She turned up to him one more time, "I guess that's the advantage on our side." With that, she pulled away. There was a rush of cold where his arms used to be. It took everything in her to not place her palm against it.
Kathleen took a step closer to Lucy, who was leaning against the door, holding a small smile. She then turned to Caspian, who was sporting one of his own. Slightly embarrassed, she looked down for a bit, just enough time to bite the bottom of her lip to stop a wide grin from appearing on her face. When she was sure she could hold it at bay, she looked up at Caspain once again a nodded, which he did so in return. She turned to Edmund once more, who stood in the same spot, one hand fidgeting with his fingers.
Lucy opened the door a little wider and Kathleen took that as a sign to get ready. It was almost time to do, whatever it was they were about to do. The difference between now and then was they were prepared, of sorts. They had a plan if things go south. Fighting positions and defense plans if anything came their way.
As Kathleen was about the walk through the cabin door, a question brought her to a halt. It was so clear, and yet she was sure she imagined. Her heart hadn't stopped pounding from before, so when she turned to see Edmund looking right at her, a step or two closer than where he was before, she did not stop the smile from growing.
"I don't suppose we could go for one more?" He paused. His chest was rising up and down at a quick pace. "For luck?" She could see him take a gulp.
With a gleeful smile, a breath of relief came out of Kathleen's lips. "Of course."
Edmund let out his own great sigh of relief. "Of course."
They engulfed each other in each other's arms. This embrace was much softer than the one before. While Kathleen and Edmund's arms were in the same place before, it wasn't as urgent as before. It was as if a bubble had burst, taking away any tension and walls that surrounded her. She could feel herself relax against him. Kathleen was so comfortable in his arm, she honestly began to think if it was possible to fall asleep while standing up. He felt safe. In Edmund's arms, it felt like home.
"And I don't suppose I could get one of those too?" Caspian's teasing voice made the two teenagers break apart with light chuckles.
"Well," Kathleen said, pretending to be in thought as she pulled away from Edmund and brushed her hands against her tunic. "I suppose it's only fair."
She went to hug Caspian, needing to go on her toes for a bit. This hug was much quicker than with Edmund. It was a short reassurance squeeze that still held some comfort. The comfort she felt was familiar in a way. As she pulled away, she couldn't believe why it took so long for her to recognize it.
She stepped back, holding a content smile on her face. "My brother would have loved to meet you."
Caspian blinked at her words. He then seemed to stand a bit straighter, "Then if he is anything like you, it will be my honor to stand before him."
Kathleen pierced her lips together and nodded. She took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out softly as she bowed in from of Caspain, just the way she did when they were first introduced. As she rose, Caspian did the same in return. Kathleen shook her head and let out a light laugh. She turned to the Pevensie's and did the same. The siblings turned to one another and, just like the King before, bowed to the ballerina.
Kathleen let everything around her sink into her memory. The ship, with the beautiful polished wood and eccentric designs. She took sight of Gael, who was sticking her head out of the wooden door that Lucy let open. She made herself aware of the slight swaying of the ship, even though she had gotten used to it. She turned to her friends in front of her, being the girl with a heart of gold, the man who has become a brother, and the boy, who she had adored being around his company, even when doing absolutely nothing. She took everything in.
With a smile still on her face, she walked into the cabin behind Lucy.
"I guess this is it," Kathleen said to Edmund, seeing as Caspian had already made his way to his cabin. "We'll see you on deck."
"Of course." There was a playful tone in the way Edmund said it. As if he was teasing her. Testing to see if she would say it back. It was just the two of them. She could see Caspian and she could feel Lucy and Gael behind her, waiting for her to say the words that were meant for one person and one person only. Kathleen bit her bottom lip, pulling a full smile as she did so. She bit her lip and shook her head.
She said it back, of course.
In a chuckle, Kathleen walked fully into the doorway and closed the door, keeping her hand on the knob. She rested her forehead against the cold wood, trying to process the past few events that just happened, while also trying to the events that were going to happen.
One moment. One moment of pure selfishness is acceptable. Right? Especially when faced with definite dangers ahead.
Surely, everyone would be okay. Kathleen thought to herself as she raised her head off from the door. No, they will be okay. They absolutely will be. As she turned away from the door, she was meet face-to-face with two giddy smiles.
"What?" Kathleen asked, even though she most likely knew the answer. Then, Gael had said something that made Kathleen's face go bright red.
"Are you sure King Edmund and her are not betrothed?"
Kathleen went wide as she momentarily forgot how to breathe. The young girl said it with such innocence that Kathleen knew it was not meant for a joke. And with her experience of working with young children, it is very rare they lie about what they see.
Lucy had a hand over her mouth, probably to stop herself from laughing, "Yes, I am very sure they are not betrothed."
That word alone made Kathleen remember to breathe out.
"But they are in love, aren't they?" Gael sounded quite confused. Like she had two puzzle pieces that should fit together, but someone else was telling her no.
Lucy bent down Gael's level and turned between her and Kathleen. While the youngest girl was filled with meaningful concern, the eldest was trying to release a coherent sound. "Well," Lucy said, after deep thought, "it's not up to us to decided."
Gael turned back to Kathleen, who was still trying to form a thought. The younger girl stood waiting, patiently hoping for an answer that only Kathleen could give. Slowly, the oldest girl walked to Gael's side and crouched to her level. just as Lucy did before.
"No, little one. We're not in love. We are just two people who...," Kathleen paused.
Finding where her breathing had gone, Kathleen took hold of it and inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and exhaled. When she opened them, Lucy was on her feet again, smiling softly at her.
Kathleen gave a sincere smile back to Lucy. She didn't know what to say. He was Lucy's brother, after all. So naturally, Kathleen wondered what was Lucy's take on all this. Her smile was encouraging, so Kathleen knew she wasn't angry or upset, then again, she seemed to be the most encouraging when a conversation rounded to Edmund and herself. In fact, Lucy seemed supportive when it came to the thought of Kathleen being alone with Edmund. Always went to reassure her that Edmund didn't dislike her, for whatever reason Kathleen had come up with in her mind. Whether it was because Lucy approved of her, or thought that they would be good friends for each other, Kathleen did not know. All she did know was that Lucy had always been there to put her mind at ease when the conversation morphed from her unknowing self-belittlement, no matter what the subject matter was.
The thing was, she couldn't decide how felt anyway. She couldn't figure it out. It's not love, per se. Love is something that is felt after trials and error and countless memories made. Kathleen knew that her feelings for Edmund weren't love, but it was something deep. A feeling that never went away. Such as when he walked by herself and Eustace as she was helping him with his mathematics. Or when he would sit in the same room as her and Eustace because Lucy insisted on fixing anything with needlework on her own. Or when he sat next to her during the only time she stayed over and did any little thing cheeky thing he could come up with over dinner, making her laugh every time. Or when he would look over the booklet rations with Lucy and stand over the kitchen table as if he was a knight, coming up with the best strategy at hand, which makes perfect sense now.
Or when it felt as if it was just herself and him on the deck, not needing to speak but being in each other's company. Whether it be her building her skill with the sword as he cleaned his own, or when she would be reading and taking notes while he performed tasks for the ship then always coming back to sit by her side.
When they were sitting next to each other by the fire.
When they were working together.
Training together.
Not love.
Not yet.
For now, being around him was more than enough. It brought excitement to her, thinking when it would happen again. If it could happen again.
"We are two people who don't want to see each other get hurt." Satisfied with the answer, Gael nodded in understanding and went to sit on top of the cabin's table.
Her thoughts must have mirrored her face because she didn't notice Lucy was now in front of her as she was getting off the ground. The Queen's head was tilted to one side. Her smile was still gentle and kind, but her eyes were the softest. She outreached her arms and kept her kind smile. So much was happening all at once, sometimes a hug can either be too much or just right.
And right now was just right. Just something to ease her mind one more time.
The older girl nodded. She brought her arms above Lucy's shoulders and kept her close. Her right forearm rested at the nape of her neck while her left pressed against her back. Kathleen couldn't help but rest her chin on her right hand. There wasn't anything urgent about the hug, or overly sentimental, but it somehow made all the previous overwhelming thoughts go away. Kathleen could no longer feel her heart pounding out of her chest or the clamminess in her hands. She felt as though she could take a breather. To prepare herself for what's to come.
"You seem like you could've used a hug of your own." Kathleen laughed through her nose at Lucy's words. She wasn't wrong. Lucy then pulled away and took Kathleen's hands.
"Now," Lucy continued as she pulled away, "if I know my brother as well as I think I do, I know he trusts you, Kathleen. He's used to keeping things bottled up and finds some other way to let it out. Edmund asking you for another hug was him saying what he was thinking. He usually only does it when he's being sarcastic." She looked at the door, smiling softly as she gently let go of Kathleen's hands. "It's easy to feel brave, but it takes courage to act on it." She then turned back to Kathleen with a proud smile. "I think you give him that courage."
Kathleen looked down. She took slow controlled breaths as she tried to string together her thoughts. "To be honest, I don't know how I'm doing it," she paused, letting out an unexpected shaky breath, "I never liked not knowing. It made me so anxious and scared. I'm terrified for the outcome, for whatever the situation and sometimes my mind would wander into heavy thoughts. I don't mean for them to travel, but sometimes they do, and getting out of there is hard. I don't always want to be scared of what's coming. I want to be brave for others, I do. I just, don't know what I'm doing to keep it up." She went to sit down on the single chair that rested against the mosaic window. It was much smaller and much more detailed than the one in Caspian's cabin, letting in more than enough light to shine on one side of her face while leaving the other in a shadow.
Again, Kathleen didn't lookup. Instead, she undid her hair and slowly pulled apart any tangles that may have come about, starting from her left.
She knew Lucy wouldn't judge, but at the same time, she hadn't meant to let out everything she just said. Lucy made her feel comfortable, and maybe she wasn't trying to, either. It just happened naturally. Whether Lucy was expressing courage of her own, Kathleen didn't know, but there was one thing she was confident about.
She had a friend. A true friend.
Lucy went to Kathleen's right side a gently helped her pull apart any tangles she found. "Whatever happens," she said as she focused on one section, "you don't have to be brave for him or anyone else. Be brave because you want to be," Lucy gently pulled apart the tangles. "Be brave because it's the right thing to do for you. Not for anyone else." She let go of her section and smiled at Kathleen.
Kathleen slowly moved her arms away from her hair and rested them on her lap. To be brave for herself would be an awfully big task to grab on to, but it wasn't impossible to think about. And having the courage to think about it means she can be one step closer to accomplishing it, right?
Yes. Kathleen thought. She knew she was right.
Kathleen may not have been in Narnia since the beginning, but she is more than brave enough to defend it. She may prefer books over some people on this ship, but that doesn't mean she won't protect them. She has the knowledge and strength to use a sword and protect others with it when worse comes to it. She is part of the finest ship in Narnia's Navy, aboard with Narnia's best sailors. Kathleen has the great honor to be part of the Dawn Treader. She is onboard with a King who leads with not fear or order, but with loyalty and a benevolent heart. A Captian who did not force respect, but earned it. Her student, who might have finally understood how big his heart truly was. A friend who showed her valiantness through her words.
And a boy.
A boy, though with his struggles and hardships, he did not let his past defend him. A through he may not forgive himself, he knows not to let the guilt consume him. He is a better person than he was all those years ago, and every day, he will work to be the best version of himself that he can be. Even if it includes a sarcastic comment or two.
All this rang true in her heart. It rang loud and echoed in her skull, making her smile and rise to her feet. If all it takes is one courageous act of bravery, then that's what she would do. Not for anyone else. For her. To be courageously brave would be an adventure all on its own.
"All right, then," she said with her hands on her hips. The sunlight from the windows shined behind her, bouncing off the red, white, and gold off her vest and onto the deep wooded walls. Her hair hung loose in its defined waves, reaching just above her waist. She eyed her sheath and sword that rested up against the wall and adjusted her uniform so everything rested comfortably against her. She then pulled back all her hair. At the corner of her eye, she could see Lucy's gently smiling face as she picked up her own dagger and cordial.
Kathleen finished getting prepared a few minutes later. Her hair was up in a bun, secured tightly with the leather band she was given by one of the sailors, as well as the hair elastic she arrived in. The belt wrapped around her waist as the sheath of her sword hung against her hip. Her sleeves were folded three times. Now reaching below her elbow, they had no chance of becoming loose. She mentally went over the positions and formations of Caspian's plan.
Kathleen was quick with her hands and feet. She was stronger than what most people had presumed, and since she had been training with Edmund, her endurance had grown while holding a weapon. And though being kidnapped had been a horrendous experience, it has provided one thing. Kathleen has honed the skill of close-range combat.
Not only that, but when discussing the plan on Ramandu's Island, Edmund mentioned her quick thinking and noticing things they couldn't, such as distracting the Dufflepuds while Lucy looked to break their invisible spell. The cavern where they found Lord Restimar in his golden state as well as his sword. And her being able to solve how to elongate the food they have while stopping the crew from wanting to hit each other with oars. The last one was Edmund's exact words, not hers.
The point is, this made Caspain and the others agree to put her in the front-line for defense. She would have an open view of the sea and if or when a problem arises, it would be part of her job to solve it.
She took a deep breath and whispered to herself in a small voice. "It's time to be brave". Kathleen felt more at ease than she had been in a long time. As though she was comforted near a chimney fire on a cold winter's day.
"When I grow up, I want to be just like you two." Gael's voice surprised Kathleen, but not more so than to Lucy, as she stopped adjusting her belt and looked at Gael through the mirror. She then stared into her own reflection.
Kathleen couldn't tell what she was thinking. It seemed as though everything froze on her for a moment, but as she turned away from the mirror and toward Gael, it was gone. She had a smile on her face and walked towards the younger girl. "When you grow up," she began, "you should be just like you." Lucy then wrapped one arm around Gael as the younger girl rested her head on her shoulders.
For a second, Lucy's smile was gone and replaced with a look of worry. It lasted for a flash of a second because she turned to face the window, she saw Kathleen looking at her and her smile returned. But this smile wasn't real like the other she had seen on her.
In turn, Kathleen made her way to Lucy's left side, where the only thing next to her was the wooden door. Without much movement, she tightly wrapped her right arm around the younger girls and rested her left hand on Lucy's shoulder.
For a short time, no one said anything. Not even when they made their way out the door onto the main deck, but before they reached the door, Lucy pulled Kathleen back. She looked to make sure Gael meet with her father before she peered up to the Ballerina.
"Thank you," she said as she glanced back at the doors. There was a small crack of an opening just wide enough to see Gael meeting with her father. He got down to her level and engulfed her in an embrace. From where the two girls were standing, they could see how tightly he was holding on to her. "I didn't realize I much I needed that."
Kathleen smiled at the sight and then to the young Queen in front of her. "Seemed like you could have used a hug of your own."
