Oh boy another rated M fic haha. This one is a one-shot, though, unless I get any demands for a second chapter.
Content warning, swearing, alcohol.
Second warning- I've literally never consumed alcohol before idk what I'm doing.
"Huey just because you know a gay guy doesn't mean you have to set me up with the aforementioned gay guy. I don't know if you know this but being gay is not a personality trait."
"You made your Senior Quote 'In the workplace being gay just has its perks.'"
"It's still not a personality trait. How do I know that I have anything in common with this guy?"
"How do I know you're not protesting this blind date because you're scared of getting into the dating scene?'
Louie sputtered angrily for a minute, "I date! Not everyone can date the first two people who catch their eye, Hubert."
"Don't drag Violet and Gosalyn into this. My partners aren't the ones who stopped you from having a long-term relationship."
"Maybe I don't want a long-term relationship. You don't set Dewey up with people."
"Dewey is aroace."
"And I'm gay and not looking, why is that so hard to accept?"
"Because all these flings you have are with people who hurt you, Louie. Just try this blind date? Boyd is really nice."
"Who even has the name Boyd? It's like you're setting me up with some old man or something."
"Trust me, Louie. Just this once and I'll never set you up with one of my friends ever again."
"Okay, one date, nothing more. On my terms. We'll go out for drinks."
Huey nearly facepalmed.
"Lou, could you try to make a good impression?"
"I'm gonna make a great impression. I'm a whole lot of fun when I drink. You're just a hater."
"Fine. I'll set it up. Just be responsible."
"Is there anything else I need to know about this guy?" Louie asked, stealing the fidget cube off Huey's desk to play with, just as fidgety as Huey or Dewey but usually more desperate to hide it. Everything was about good impressions, after all.
"Oh, uh, yeah, he's um… Not exactly human."
"The fuck, Huey?"
So he was meeting an android for drinks. Great. Huey was so desperate to pawn him off on another person that he was officially setting him up with robots. Louie was not feeling too optimistic.
He took his seat at the bar, a few minutes early because of his jitters, and ordered a cocktail to sip while he waited. Normally he did shots but he wanted to be at least slightly sober when he met Boyd. Could robots drink? Huey said that Boyd ate food, could he get intoxicated? Maybe Louie should have eaten something. The alcohol was now hitting his empty stomach.
"Are you Louie?" He swiveled quickly and nearly spilled his drink, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the most handsome being he had ever seen.
"Yes. B-Boyd, right?" Louie felt all floaty and couldn't take his eyes off of Boyd. He felt like he was already buzzed and was suddenly legitimately worried about making a bad first impression.
"Yeah! Should we get some food?"
Louie nodded dumbly, "I… I like food."
What was that? Who didn't like food? Who said they liked food when they'd been too distracted to even eat all day? Boyd just laughed, with a blinding smile. Louie felt inadequate next to this beautiful man and wished desperately that he was coherent.
"Let's get a more private spot, then."
Louie could tell he was blushing but didn't know how to turn it off. It didn't matter, he was going to leave a horrible impression on the handsome android. Fuck. This was mortifying. Maybe Huey had been right. Maybe he was scared of dating. This was already a disaster and Louie was already terrified.
Boyd already felt butterflies. How could he not? Louie seemed so flustered and cute, and also a little drunk. Boyd suggested they get food because he knew drinking on an empty stomach wasn't good, and he knew that Huey sometimes got so distracted that he forgot to eat, and he had the feeling Louie might be the same. Boyd had spent a significant portion of his life learning what things affected humans so that he could take care of his friends. And if nothing else, he hoped he and Louie could be friends.
As Boyd ordered some appetizers, Louie ordered some shots. For both of them, of course, but more for himself. He needed a little liquid courage. Boyd was intimidatingly attractive.
"I can pay for the food if you want to pay for drinks," Boyd suggested, upon realizing that this human would probably out-drink him.
"I can pay for everything," Louie said dismissively, the first shot hitting, "I'm rich."
"Oh, yeah, Huey told me about your uncle."
Louie downed another shot, "Fuck him. I am independently wealthy, I didn't get anything from him. I got a job, I took my paychecks, and I played the stock market. Buy low, sell high. And now I have enough money to have a very fun first date." He was grinning stupidly now, like he'd told Huey, he was more fun when he was drunk, and he was officially drunk.
Boyd decided to monitor Louie's liquor levels for the rest of the evening. He also decided, for some reason, to call Louie out on his bullshit.
"You understand that that still comes from a place of privilege, though, right? Even if you don't think you were relying on your uncle's money."
"What?" The stupid grin was gone and Louie was staring through Boyd.
"I would never disparage someone for getting a job, everyone needs that experience, it humanizes them, and to succeed in the stock market is impressive! It either takes a lot of skill, a lot of luck, or a lot of manipulation. For your sake, I'll assume it was skill. But to be able to invest your entire paycheck into the stock market shows that you, at the time, weren't worried about where food was coming from, or if your job was stable, or if bills would get paid on time. And not everyone has that privilege."
"I've lived in poverty," Louie protested, "I'm not just some stuck-up, spoiled rich kid."
"I never said you were! I'm just mentioning that as hard as it may have been to live in poverty you were in a place of privilege when you began earning your independent wealth."
Louie's head spun a little.
"Why are we talking about this. You're my date, not my financial advisor. I don't want to talk about money anymore."
"Right," Boyd said sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, honestly. I'm terrible at first dates."
"And I'm a spoiled rich kid who's only fun when he's drinking, so I think we'll be fine. Maybe we'll keep our feet out of our mouths and have a funny story to tell Huey later." Louie ordered a fourth shot when the waitress set down their food.
"Right, Huey… You think this isn't going to go further than a funny story we tell other people?"
"Hm, well let's see. I'm a drunk fool and you're a genius android who directly insulted my income. So probably not. But never say never, right? Maybe you like drunk disasters and if I drink enough I won't remember what you said in the morning."
"Never say never," Boyd mumbled, feeling a little discouraged, before excusing himself to freshen up.
He texted his best friend when he was in the bathroom.
B: I think I screwed up
H: What did Louie do?
B: ...I said I screwed up
H: Yeah but I know my brother.
B: I just don't think he likes me very much, which sucks because I'd really like to get to know him better
H: (´ε` )
B: Why am I even texting you
H: Good question. If you want to have a good date with my brother, go make it good
B: He's drunk
H: Yeah. I know my brother
Boyd straightened his clothes and walked back out with a fake and pleasant smile on his face.
Louie was totally plastered when Boyd returned, smiling big at his date.
"I should probably stop drinking," He murmured, downing the last shot on the table.
"Probably." Boyd glanced at the table, "You haven't eaten anything yet."
"I'm not really feeling too good," Louie said with a shrug.
"Probably because you didn't eat anything before drinking all that alcohol."
"Probably," Louie said, swaying a little as his vision blurred.
Boyd flagged down the waiter and requested a to-go box and the bill.
"Let me get you home."
"No thank you, pretty man, I don't go home with guys on the first date. Well, sometimes I do, but I'm not drunk enough for that yet."
Boyd was horrified by that slip of the tongue, but he decided not to pursue that further.
"I mean get you back to your home. To Huey. Or I could text him to pick you up?"
Louie thought about it for a long time, pausing to hand his debit card to the waiter.
"Yes. Huey."
Boyd felt a little guilty about passing Louie off on his brother as if Louie was a problem that needed to be handled.
"Listen," Boyd said quietly as they waited outside, an arm wrapped around Louie's shoulders to keep him steady, "I know this was a bad date, I'm not ending it because you're a bad person, I'm ending it because I'm worried about you. You deserve to have a good, safe date. You deserve to get home safe."
"You deserve…" Louie trailed off, leaning on Boyd a little extra, "You deserve somebody sober and good. Not me."
Boyd frowned, about to suggest that maybe he wanted Louie anyway. But then Huey's car pulled up, and he didn't get the chance.
"Did you have a good time?" Huey asked as Louie pressed his head against the glass. He would call Boyd later to apologize for Louie's messiness. He'd hoped Boyd would be able to bring out the best in Louie, he knew his brother was genuinely a good person.
"That guy was way too good for me, Huey."
"Boyd isn't flawless."
"Yeah, but he's not a trainwreck like me."
"You're not as bad as you think you are."
"I'm probably worse," Louie slurred, staring out the window to get a last glimpse of Boyd before he drove away. Some guys were just built better. Literally.
"I think you two would be really good together under better circumstances."
"You mean the circumstances where I wasn't a huge piece of shit?"
Huey sighed. There was absolutely no getting through to Louie right now.
"I brought you a water bottle, drink it, and get some rest when we get home and maybe you won't be as hungover tomorrow."
The next day, Louie was super hungover. So a fun and fantastic start to the day. Of course, it got worse nearly immediately because he remembered that the reason he was hungover was because he'd gone on a date with a very hot man who had lectured him on privilege and probably wasn't interested in a second date.
Well, that was fine. Louie was happy being single. He was fine alone. He was a strong independent dude who didn't need no man.
But holy shit, Boyd was so gorgeous. And he seemed kind, underneath the awkward first date snags. He was friends with Huey, and Huey didn't attract the wrong sort of people. He was definitely one of the better guys Louie had gone on a date with.
He had sent him home, after all. The fact that Louie had woken up hungover in his own bed instead of someone else's said a whole lot about Boyd's character.
Louie found himself desperately, desperately wanting a second date.
He had no idea that Boyd felt the same way until there was a knock at the door a little later that morning.
"Louie, get the door," Huey and Dewey said in unison, deeming Louie's sulking as not as important as their early morning tasks, which also weren't important.
Louie let out a grunt of protest, but slid off the couch and walked over to the door.
Last night, Louie had been wearing an expensive-looking forest green button-up and black skinny jeans. Now he was wearing an oversized lime green hoodie where you could just barely see the pair of red track shorts peeking out underneath, there were bags under his eyes and his hair looked soft and messy. Boyd would say, later, that he thought Louie looked better that morning than he had on the date.
"Huey, Boyd's here to see you," Louie called after a moment, lost in Boyd's eyes.
"No," Boyd said quickly, feeling flustered, gripping a small piece of paper.
"No? Do you know Dewey, then?"
"I came to see you."
"Oh." A blush crept his cheeks.
"Oh…"
"I, uh… You dropped this when you were paying yesterday." He held out a business card that read: Louie Duck, Entrepreneur.
"I have dozens of those, you didn't need to return that."
Boyd continued to hold it out, trembling a little.
"I wrote my name and number on it. Just in case. You know. If you want it."
"Oh!" Louie snatched the card, blushing harder, and opened the door all the way.
"Do you want to come in?"
"Uh…"
"Come in! We have hot chocolate!" Huey said, appearing at the door and beginning to scheme.
"Are you Louie's boyfriend?" Dewey asked, glancing up from his video game.
Boyd glanced down, "That's a complicated question."
At the same time, Louie said, "Not yet."
Yet. Boyd was going to savor that word.
Dewey smirked and went back to his game.
"I'm a bit hungover," Louie mentioned as they headed into the kitchen.
"I can tell," Boyd giggled.
"Still making that great first impression," Louie said, feeling discouraged.
"Hey," Boyd put a hand on Louie's shoulder, "Do you think I would be here if I thought you'd left a bad first impression?"
"I, uh…"
"I'm here because…" Boyd took a deep breath and spoke more boldly now, "Because you owe me a proper first date."
Louie was taken aback and Huey whistled.
"Oh, I owe you?"
"Louie, a quick aside?" Huey requested, already dragging his brother by the sleeve to the side.
"What?"
"He likes you, dumbass! He came all this way to see you, so don't you dare be coy with him. Now go out there and make your move!"
Louie sighed, put on a mostly real smile, and met Boyd's eyes once more, Boyd's hand drifting back to his shoulder like it belonged there.
"I do owe you a proper first date. How's about… Tuesday? We could go out for breakfast? A sober, not hungover date before classes for the day?"
"That sounds lovely."
"You're lovely," Louie blurted, feeling butterflies, or hangover nausea.
Boyd blushed.
"Ah… So are you."
"Should I leave you two alone?" Huey asked with a smirk.
"Please don't," Louie and Boyd said simultaneously, before bursting into laughter. Boyd's hand lingered on Louie's shoulder and neither of them seemed to want to move as if they stayed here forever they would never have to face the awkward or the uncomfortable ever again. If they stayed here forever they could just exist in the blushing bliss of second first impressions.
