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KISS PROTOCOL
CHAPTER 9: I LOVE YOU.
Bella had been pensive the whole afternoon that they spent at the beach. She was her usual fun, and charming self, but Jake could tell there was something on her mind. He only hoped it had nothing to do with anything the leech had said. He didn't want him getting into her head. Not because of what her feelings used to be for him, but because he wanted to protect her. It was in his nature to distrust vampires, and he never liked him to begin with.
However, he waited until they were on the way back to her house to breach the subject. He insisted on going with her, even though he could walk home and be there in fifteen minutes. But he did so because he wanted to know what was on her mind.
Once they entered Bella's house, he thanked to no one in particular the fact that Charlie wasn't home yet. If this discussion involved anything supernatural it would have had to be postponed.
"Bells." He called softly getting her attention.
She met his eyes. "Yes?"
"Why are you so quiet?" He grabbed her hand and ran circles on it, trying to convey his support if she was upset about anything.
Bella had been doing some soul-searching about her feelings for Jake. She had already admitted that she had feelings for him, have had them for a few weeks now. But today she realized that she didn't want to admit that she loved him. Particularly because she had been set on keeping Edward's hallucinations alive, hurting Jake in the process. She knew he would say it was all forgiven and forgotten and that she had come to her senses now, and that was what counted. But she felt guilty for denying it for so long. It had hurt them both. She could have been seriously hurt that day at the cliffs. All because she wanted to believe that she still loved Edward. Because she felt as if she was betraying him, and herself by loving another person. By loving what was actually good for her. Because she didn't want to admit, that despite anything good Edward might have as a person, he wasn't good for her. Supernatural elements aside.
She smiled tenderly at the boy/man in front of her. How could she have denied her feelings for him? He was all that was good in the world. Loyal, loving, caring, supportive, crazy, hothead. Even his flaws were good. She laughed silly at herself. She sounded like a pre-teen with her first crush.
"I'm perfectly fine. I promise." Jake studied her and once he decided he believed her he nodded. "In fact, are we still on for tomorrow night?"
With all the drama about Edward and Alice, Friday's date night had completely slipped his mind. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what day it was anymore. Good thing she knew.
"Absolutely." She widened her smile. "Where do you want to go?" Not that there were too many options to choose from.
"Actually, do you mind if we do dinner here?" She wanted their date to be about them. No interruptions. And she had found something that she wanted to show Jake, that she knew he would very much appreciate.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded eagerly.
"Ok, then. I can come early and help you if you want."
She nodded again. "There's something I want to show you tomorrow. So that's a good idea."
…
…
…
Jake's interest was very peaked. Bella had a few different vegetables all chopped and ready to be cooked. She had a bowl with seasoned chicken, and a few other ingredients on the kitchen counter.
"This looks interesting." He commented, making her laugh.
"Come here." She directed him towards the kitchen table, telling him to sit on a stool, while she stood beside him. She gave him a piece of paper that was yellow, showing the passing of time, and crumpled, also showing continue use.
"What's this?" He asked.
"I was rummaging through some cookbooks that my dad has in the kitchen." That he never used. "And I found this." She pointed to the sheet of paper. "Open it and read it."
He did as she said. He gasped recognizing his mother's handwriting. He had been very little when she passed, but there were things about her that he could remember clearly.
Dear Charlie, I imagine this is hard. But you are a strong man, and you will pull through. You always liked this recipe. I hope it helps even a little bit. You know you have us.
Love,
Sara.
Jake wiped a runaway tear. He looked at Bella who had watery eyes. "I think your mom was trying to help my dad with food when my mom left him."
Jake laughed through the tears. "I remember vaguely that this was the way my mom had of sneaking vegetables in our food. I guess we were not the only ones."
Bella smiled and kissed his cheek. "I thought I could prepare it. It sounds simple and delicious at the same time." And she knew Jake had been missing her mom a little stronger since he phased. So maybe a little piece of her would soothe his aching.
That was one of the surprises she had for him. She had another two. That may count as only one, or two, depending on the point of view. She had gone that morning to a tattoo parlor and had tattooed the silhouette of a wolf on her right wrist. It was done so that she could see it every time she turned her arm, palm facing up. He had asked her if the wolf should be done so that she could see it from her point of view, or if people could see it from their point of view. That had actually been good thinking on behalf of the artist. She decided that the wolf should be from her point of view. Meaning the head of the wolf was closer to her palm, while the rest of the body was closer to her arm. The last surprise to him, was her confessing her feelings.
He was a good sous-chef that night, surprising Bella; although he let her know not to expect him to cook anything any time soon. He was lucky to have survived his cooking. However, he admitted he was interested in learning. Secretly he wanted to cook for her. He wanted a future where he could cook for the both of them. He could see himself standing in front of the stove, cooking, while she sat at the table chatting away, or while she came through the door after a day at work or school. He could really see a future with her, and he wanted to learn to do simple things like cooking dinner for her.
"I'll teach you someday." She said. "But this beauty is done now. So, let's eat now."
Jake helped her carry everything to the table and they had a nice dinner. Jake thought it was a nice way to have a first date, even if they have already dealt with a few things that were supposed to happen later on in a relationship. But it cemented how he felt for her. She was it for him. He could tell even if he hadn't imprinted on her. It felt exactly like Sam felt about Emily. But he still wanted to talk to his dad about that. There was still a nagging voice in the back of his head reminding him of it.
He observed her while they ate. She had grown emotionally in the past few months. She had managed to get over her heart break and come out stronger. She tried to accept no bullshit from anyone. She expected people to be truthful from the beginning, not wanting to waste time with anyone not worth it. It was a sequel from being left in the woods, without a proper goodbye with the rest of those she had considered family.
Jacob didn't know what the conversation with the pixie had entailed the day of Harry's funeral, Bella hadn't wanted to say much about it. But it must have been sufficiently enough to sooth Bella's hurt at her behavior from six months ago. He wanted her to be happy, and if keeping touch with the pixie made her happy, he was ok with it. He wanted to support her, despite how uncomfortable they made him.
Bella laughing brought him back to earth. She was waving a hand in front of his face. He must have been staring into space. He focused his stare and noticed something black and blurry on her wrist. He grabbed her arm automatically, softly holding it palm facing up.
He studied the blurry drawing. It was covered in a thick transparent substance that made the drawing blurry. He focused better on the drawing, trying to get around the thick substance that was covering it. He frowned confused when he realized what it was. He looked at her in the eyes, questioning her in silence.
"It's real." She said, but that was not what he wanted to know.
"Why?" It wasn't what he wanted to know either, but he didn't know how to ask. His brain and mouth were not connecting.
Bella smiled brightly. "I love you." Jacob's mouth opened in surprise. He knew she was in love with him, her actions spoke loudly. But hearing her say it, admitting it, was another thing entirely.
He stood up and walked towards her. She observed him, tilting her face upwards and not letting him out of sight. He reached her and reached out a hand, which she took. She stood up without letting go of his hand. She put her arms around his neck and smiled at him. She was so extremely happy that she had decided to give him a chance.
Obviously, she knew that they had a lot of roads to navigate, but for now she was enjoying being in his arms. Secure, warm, loved.
"I love you. So much." He gave the words back.
She leaned towards him and he met her mid-way, crashing their lips.
