A/N: I don't even know if anyone is still reading VicTORIous fanfics anymore, particularly BORI stories. However, I still enjoy writing this one. So let me know if you guys are out there. I try to reach out to everyone that reviews, favorites, or follows the story. I also try and take the time to read something from each supporter in return! Thanks, guys! Enjoy!
BECK
Jade laid in the hospital bed sleeping, but her eyes were shadows of what they used to be. That had such dark circles around them and they appeared sunken. She was breathing deeply and the monitors around her beeped every so often, but he barely heard them. Beck sat in the bedside chair with his elbows propped on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He felt responsible, at least partially, or mostly. Who knew? He just knew that he felt like he was to blame for this crazy act. And how hard no one noticed? He had spent the last week and a half trying to avoid her and had been successful for at least a week. If he hadn't avoided her, would he have been able to stop this?
Jade stirred and Beck snapped to attention. She blinked her eyes, but he could tell they were so heavy she could barely open them. "Beck?" She was hoarse, and sleepy, but she tried to sit up and open her eyes better. She also attempted to fix her hair, which was in a ponytail. Beck hard been thinking how out of character that was for her.
"It's okay. I'm here. Relax." It came so quietly and velvety that it was almost a whisper. He sounded strange to himself. He hasn't spoken for the whole hour he's been back there and the last person he spoke was Tori.
"I'm sorry." She was beginning to cry.
"Please don't apologize. This is my fault. I'm sorry."
Jade didn't say anything else, but she grabbed Beck's hand and relaxed some. Beck didn't stop her. Seeing her like this reminded him how much he loved her. Still loves her. He's was confused, but he knew he should be here.
Just like she was reading his mind, Jade said "I still love you…"
Beck didn't know how to respond. But he had to, and he may as well be honest. Besides, she needed it right now. "I love you too, Jade." She squeezed his hand weakly.
"I don't want to live without you."
"Baby, don't talk like that. It's what got us here."
"I like it here." She almost interrupted him. "It's my favorite place since we broke up. You love me again…" Jade's eyes were still closed, but she was waking up. Her voice was clearer and less horse than before.
"Jade, I never stopped loving you. I didn't like the person you became. I just want you to be happy, but I cannot keep sacrificing my own happiness." Beck let it out before he knew what he was saying. He half expected her to get upset.
"I know…" she was almost whispering. "I realized I just want you to be happy too."
Beck didn't respond. He was sure she wanted to mean it, but wasn't sure she really did.
"Where's Tori?"
"She's here too. She didn't think you'd want to see her so she's outside with Andre."
"Can I talk to her?" Beck was a little frightful of that. She's already hurt herself. He wasn't sure what she was capable of.
"I can text her to come back."
"No. Just her." Beck's stomach felt sick.
"I don't know, Jade."
"I don't want to hurt her. I don't even want to hurt her feelings. I want to let you go. And I need her to know."
Beck waited a while longer in silence; he finally decided that Tori was a big girl. She could handle herself. So he left the hospital room fetch her.
When Beck arrived back in the waiting room he scanned the occupied seats for her but didn't see her. He'd check outside with Andre. When he found him, Andre had a cigarette between his lips.
"You're smoking?" Beck asked.
"Only when the stress becomes too much. Beck, listen, man-"
"Hold that thought. Where's Tori?"
"That's what I was trying to tell you. She said she loved you, and left with Trina."
"She left?" Beck was shook up. Why would she leave? I know she didn't want to see Jade, but why would she leave me? "Where did she go?"
"She didn't say. But I would give her some time. She seemed pretty upset. She probably just went home."
Beck didn't know what to think. He felt like he was losing her, and all this with Jade was only making it worse.
