Chapter 1
I stare at Maxon like a lost puppy, hopelessly wishing he would turn to face me, tell me he forgave me for what happened this morning, that he understood everything between Aspen and I was finished, over months ago. He kept his face towards Kriss, engaging her in a conversation about her family. I want to breakdown and cry, beg on my hands and knees for his forgiveness.
I look toward Aspen who is standing guard by the door. His face wears an expression of guilt, his usually light and playful eyes wearied and sorry. He tries to smile, to reassure me or to apologize, I'm not quite sure.
"Arranging a time to meet later," Maxon queries softly so Kriss doesn't overhear. His voice is cold and harsh, nothing like the usual soft kind tones I've become so accustomed to. I whip my head back around, my eyes latching onto his.
"No, of course not," I reply, my words hastened. He rolls his eyes and smiles cruelly at me, no trace of the Maxon I knew yesterday left on his face.
"I mean, it's not like it matters. Kriss' family will be here this afternoon for a small celebration and yours will be here to take you home." He sighs. "They don't like the last loser to be left alone, she tends to get dramatic." I can feel tears prick my eyes, but I kept my face composed. It isn't the time to fall apart yet. "You can keep that house if you want. It's been paid for. I'd like my letters back though."
My heart skipped a beat. He wasn't getting those letters back. He'd have to pry them from my cold, dead hands. "I read them," I say, barely above a whisper. "I loved them" He huffs as if I'd said something funny. Like I'd made a joke.
"Don't know what I was thinking."
I suck in a deep breath, shifting in my chair slightly to face him better. "Please don't do this Maxon. Please, I love you." My face begins to crumple, my lips turning downwards and my eyes tearing up faster.
"Don't. You. Dare," he orders through gritted teeth. He looks so much like his father now and it's terrifying. "You put on a smile and you wear it to the last second." I quickly blink away the tears and flash him a small, tight-lipped smile. He furrows his brows as if debating something in his mind. "That'll do. Don't let that slip until you leave the room. Do you understand?" I nod, not letting the smile fall off my face. He turns back to Kriss, resuming their conversation. If she'd heard anything we'd just spoken about, she didn't let on.
I let my eyes wander over the seats in an attempt to ignore the sound of her giggling and his deep laugh. She'd have to be terribly dense at this point if she hasn't figured out she's the One, the girl Maxon will have by his side for the rest of their lives. The Kriss I knew throughout the Selection isn't dense.
I spot Celeste in the crowd, sitting with the other girls. She scans my face in understanding. She bites her lip and I can tell she wants to comfort me in her own way, but she doesn't move. I look around for Marlee's face but know she won't be here. Why would Maxon grant me one last favor? It's obvious to any onlooker that he hates me with every inch of his being. I sigh, waiting perilously for Gavril to start the program. I can imagine my family waiting impatiently in front of the television for the segment to start. A part of me wishes they wouldn't watch this. I don't want them to see this.
Gavril takes the stage, his soft butter colored suit impeccably designed, and his hair combed back with a hair gel. "Welcome people of Illea to the eagerly awaited finale of Prince Maxon's Selection. I know you are all waiting eagerly to find out which of these lovely young ladies will wed the dashing prince and be our future queen." Gavril turned towards us, giving us both looks of excitement as if there's any surprise. I hold both my hands up, crossing my fingers and plastering an excited grin on my face, playing into the part Maxon has created for me. I quietly wonder if he told Kriss before he proposed to me. Does she think I'm the one leaving with the Prince's heart, his future queen?
"After weeks of competition with the other lovely contestants, we are left with the charming Lady Kriss Ambers of Columbia and the fiery, witting Lady America Singer of Carolina." I applaud with the crowd and let my smile grow further to the point where it's almost painful. I think I'll miss Gavril. He was always kind to me, never resented me for the many times I ruined the show and called the monarchy into question.
Gavril dives into an in-depth analysis of the Selection while respective clips play on a screen set up behind him. I watch with teary eyes as clips of the girl's flash by. There are, conveniently, none of Marlee. Kriss and I feature in most of them. There are moments from dates and other events. I see a clip of me talking with the Italian princess. I will miss her friendship. I doubt I'll have a lot to do with other monarchs as a Three.
The clip ends and Gavril pretends to wipe his eyes with a floral handkerchief which brings a collective laugh from the audience. I hear Maxon chuckle beside me, but it isn't as deep as his usual laugh. I keep my eyes to the front, refusing to look at Maxon or Kriss. I need to keep composed today.
Gavril walks over to our chairs, flipping his microphone slightly. I know what's coming. He sidles up beside me, leaning against the arm of my chair. I watch him and laugh as he pretends to slip off the chair.
"So, Lady America," he starts. He smiles at me, big, bright and charming. No wonder he'd stayed a television presenter for so long. "You have been known to cause the most trouble for, well, almost everyone yet here you sit, one of the last two girls." He wags his eyebrows. I laugh lightly, trying not to read too much into his words.
"Trouble or excitement?" I retort, smirking. Gavril and the crowd laugh, I think I even hear Maxon chuckle lightly at my witty response.
"You have certainly kept me on my toes and I'm sure Maxon could say the same," he says. "How are you feeling about today's decision? Do you think you'll be the girl Maxon sweeps into the sunset?"
I bite my lip. I have to lie or Maxon will resent me even more. "I think whoever Maxon picks is a lucky, lucky lady and, if it's me, then I guess I'll be thanking people for the rest of my life for the opportunity to participate and find the love of my life," I respond. It's not exactly a lie but it isn't the truth. I know it isn't me. Gavril nods, understanding. He gives me a slight look as if he knows what I'm trying to convey; I didn't win.
He sighs. "Well, all the best of luck to you, my Lady." He shuffles over to Kriss, asking her similar questions. I can't hear what she's saying over the ringing in my ears. I'm losing it. I briefly register Gavril finally moving to Maxon and the crowd standing in applause. I don't stand as Maxon rises from his seat, pulling Kriss with him. They embrace, holding each other tight as members of the audience clap for them, whistling and cheering. I let a tear drop down my cheek, my small smile remaining in place. Relief courses through me. It's over. I can go home and cry. I can go home and go back to normal.
Kriss releases Maxon, moving towards me. I sweep the tear away with a finger and stand to hug her. Her arms are warm and comforting. I close my eyes and lean into the embrace.
"Thank you," she whispers in my ear. I nod in acknowledgement. I didn't share her secret and now she's won. Kriss releases me and I see tears peppering her light brown eyes. She already looks like a bride today in her long white dress and red painted lips. She is stunning.
I catch Maxon's gaze as Kriss moves back towards him. He opens his mouth as if to say something but closes it again as hands grasp my shoulders and spin my body.
Celeste looks at me sympathetically. She pulls me toward her chest in an embrace. "He's going to realize what he missed out on in a few weeks when Kriss bores him to death with her wild ravings," she tells me in an attempt to make me feel better. I laugh lightly.
"I'm fine," I assure her and pull back. "It wasn't that much of a surprise." Celeste raises an eyebrow in question. She was so sure I would win. I can't blame her. I was sure until this morning as well. I tell her that I'll explain everything later and push her towards the other girls. I'm not ready to face them. I don't want them to fake sympathy or tell me that it's all going to be okay. I find Aspen's eyes in the crowd. He frowns and jerks his head to the door. I nod lightly and walk fast towards where he indicated, keeping my head down so I don't have to watch everything I'll be missing as I leave the palace for the last time.
