Okay, I might have told you guys a teensy weensy lie a couple of chapters back in one of my author's notes and a couple of you might not be too happy about what it is. However, I assure you that there IS a method to my madness, so please, just keep following me down this road I am leading you, and keep reading, and I promise, it eventually will all come out in the wash, so-to-speak.
There is a lot of drama going on in this chapter and I might have thrown you guys a curve-ball or two too (I mean for the love of God, they aren't exactly hard to find). It also skips around a little bit, but despite all that, I still can't wait for what you guys think of this one :)
DarylDixon'sLover: Thanks as always, hun :) xxx
HaloHunter89: You find it hard to like a lot of people I write; don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult yet ;). And yes, these soul crushing updates will keep coming :)
Seven Years Ago . . .
His ears were ringing . . . his mouth hung thick with the coppery taste of blood and the grittiness of sand. His body hurt all over and he had the vague sensation that he was floating on air while being transported to an unknown destination. People were crowded around him – it was hot. Sweat beaded on his skin and stung him. He had been shot. He knew that much.
The people were speaking in a guttural language – one he knew he should recognize and he did, briefly, at times. He understood them sometimes too, but he was too exhausted and in too much pain to dwell long on what they were saying.
That had been his mistake.
" . . . A doctor . . . we need . . . man!"
The words came to him broken but did not linger long in his head and he let out a grunt when he was dropped unceremoniously to the ground. He opened his eyes briefly, and saw the rough mud that made up a wall, with faded carpet curtains hanging in the open windows and a little boy standing wide-eyed in a shadowy corner wearing a . . . a . . .
A thawb? Was that a thawb? Is that what they called them? Or did they call them something else?
Again, he didn't have long to linger on his thoughts. An old man pushed his way through the dense crowd around him to his side and his old gnarled hands quickly moved over his body, inspecting him. He barked orders in the same gibberish sounding language and He caught the words 'water' and 'knife'.
"This man is strong – very strong! Not many could have sustained his kind of injuries and lived this long! He must have something tying him to this world."
The words appeared in his head and they were longer to linger, but were still gone in a matter of minutes. He didn't want to say anything, but he did have something tying him to this world – three things, in fact. He had a woman who loved him and a little boy who was growing to love him, he suspected. He also had a little girl, but it was the woman he would fight to get back to at all costs. He had promised her he would.
He let out a roar, his eyes screwing shut and his body contorting in pain as what felt like a burning spike was being pressed down into his flesh. In truth, it was the hot bed of a knife pressing into one of the many ragged bullet holes that littered his torso, and which greedily sought out the bullet lodged there.
Suddenly, the pain was gone, and he slumped in relief to whatever he was laid out on, his eyes fluttering as a wave of exhaustion overtook him. He heard a "plimp" as something metallic was dropped into a metallic bowl and he heard someone release a deep sigh.
"One down . . . many to go. May Allah preserve us this night . . ."
"T-Tessa -!"
The word rolled off into another agonized roar as the burning knife pressed into another bullet hole and for a long few hours, this woman named Tessa, was the last thing on his mind.
Present Day . . .
"GO! Go Tess – GO!"
"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?!"
Ethan stifled a snort of laughter and forced the smile from his lips. Now that he had allowed Daryl to see that vulnerability that he had kept hidden inside, a couple of days ago, he was back to his old, normal self. Things between him and Wren were still a little awkward but they were getting better, nonetheless, something that Tessa and Daryl both were happy to see.
Things with Beth, however, were still downright atrocious.
"Ha, ha – rawr . . .!" He muttered and Daryl shot him a look as he slammed the butt of his crossbow into the head of a nearby walker.
"Now ain' tha fuckin' time - Merle!" He growled but Ethan could see him forcing back a smile as well. Merle had the often irritating habit of cracking jokes at the most inopportune times and Daryl found himself realizing that the more Ethan grew and progressed in his life, the more of that trait he seemed to grow into.
Well . . . Daryl supposed there were worst traits from Merle that his son could have inherited.
Ethan let out a bark of a laugh at his words and opened his mouth to say something, driving his knife deep into a walker skull as he did so, but was interrupted by a loud shriek of fright that came behind them. All four of them skidded to a stop and wheeled around to see what had caused such a horrendous sound.
Beth had run out of bullets right in the middle of quickly finding herself becoming surrounded by walkers. The good cheer immediately disappeared from Ethan's face as he rolled his eyes. "Great!" He grumbled as him and Daryl made a beeline towards her. Daryl shot a bolt through the walker's head that was going for her, just as Ethan took a firm hold of her upper arm and threw her behind them. She stumbled but quickly righted herself the split second before she reached Tessa, Wren and the twins. His knife went through a walker's head at the same time that Daryl slammed the butt of his crossbow into another one and when they both fell dead to the ground, was when they found themselves quickly backtracking towards the girls. Daryl pressed two firm hands on Tessa's and Beth's backs as Ethan grabbed ahold of Wren's hand.
"Come on, babydoll, we gotta go!" He told them and they nodded in agreement as they ran through the woods, snarling walkers still hot on their heels and with Tessa and Wren's tight grip on the twins never lessening.
After a few moments of running, they emptied out into a massive field filled with nothing but tall grass and bushes. Daryl urged them on and even though Tessa's lungs burned from lack of oxygen – the same as all of them, in fact – she kept going. They needed to get to safety – they needed to get to safety!
They stopped briefly for a moment - all of them doubling over slightly, desperate to catch their breathing, but Beth shook her head upon glancing behind her. They picked up the pace again, and ran for another meter or two before they shook their heads and collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath. Daryl, Beth and Ethan rolled over onto their backs as Tessa and Wren fell onto their asses beside them, their tight grips on Aayla and Danny finally waning somewhat. They no longer heard the shuffling or moaning of walkers – for all intents and purposes, they were safe.
For now.
That night at the campfire, everyone was unusually quiet. The only things that split the air and broke that silence, was the sounds of the insects in the forest and tall grass surrounding them, as well as the crackling of the fire in the middle of their small group. Ethan and Wren were passed out on the ground, the same as the twins, which left only Beth, Tessa and Daryl still up.
Beth sat there, gazing intently into the fire, and Tessa sat there beside Daryl, tucked up into his side with his arm around her shoulders. Her arm was wrapped loosely around his waist and his hand was on her stomach, as it always was whenever they could sit beside each other for any extended period of time.
Ethan was already asleep and Tessa knew that Daryl was going to take first watch. And maybe even second if Ethan didn't wake up on his own and take his father's place.
Daryl didn't sleep much anymore.
Tessa was worried about Daryl. He hardly said anything anymore, except for when he announced to everyone what he was going to go do (go huntin' for dinner; take a piss) and how long until he'd be back (a couple of hours at tha most; jus' a minute). He hardly slept and ate little – reverting back to how he had been when Tessa was pregnant with the twins by giving her his portion of the food and then becoming irritated or angry when she didn't take it.
"A man looks after his family, Tess, and ya eatin' for two again. I can skip a meal – it won' bother me, none. And besides . . . ya need it more than I do, anyway . . ."
Beth's firm voice broke through their reveries and both Tessa and Daryl turned a slightly surprised look onto the young girl sitting across from them. "We should do something." She spoke before gazing at them for a moment – at Daryl specifically. Tessa turned her eyes up to him as well and when he made no move to tell her he had heard her, she repeated the question, only louder and firmer. "We should do something!"
"Shh!"
Beth jumped when Tessa shushed her before nodding towards the sleeping twins. Beth swallowed and nodded, before her voice lowered back down. This time, she knew Daryl had heard her, for he had pinned a silent, stoic glare onto her.
"We aren't the only survivors," She began. "We can't be. Rick, Michonne – they could be out here! Maggie and Glenn could have made it out of E-Block too!"
Daryl returned his eyes back onto the flickering flame before them without saying anything in response to her. His thumb rubbed a gentle, comforting path across Tessa's stomach as she continued to gaze up at him. It was then that she truly realized how old Daryl looked – old and tired and dare-she-even-say, defeated. In fact, if he wanted to, he looked like he could lie down at that moment, go to sleep and then never wake up again.
Beth sighed and got to her feet. "You're a tracker. So track." She told him and Tessa shot her a look.
"Beth, honey, its night! The twins are asleep and so are Ethan and Wren. Not-to-mention, it's dangerous at night – who knows what we could stumble onto? This can easily wait until the morning." She told her but Beth ignored her, her eyes pinned onto Daryl, who was still gazing into the fire.
"Come on! The sun'll be up soon, if we can . . ." She trailed off then, remembering that the sun would not be up soon and that it was close to midnight or even earlier. They had all seemed to lose track of time without the clocks they had possessed back in the prison and only Daryl seemed the only one who could tell time by the positioning of the sun alone – something he wasn't exactly inclined to share at the slightest provocation.
She gazed at him for a moment before marching forward. "Fine! If you won't track, then I will -!"
Daryl's hand shot out and latched ahold of hers right when the fingers wrapped around the hilt of the knife plunged into the earth beside him. She gasped, her wide-eyes meeting his and he shook his head, his eyes cold and hard. "I'll track in tha mornin'. Tess is right - it's too late now. I won' find nearly as much as I would if it was daylight and I'm not 'bout to wake everyone up jus' 'cause of ya and ya little flights of fancy!" He growled before his eyes darted down to the knife. "Now let go of ma knife. Go back to where ya were and go to sleep. I'll take watch."
Beth gazed at him for a moment before Tessa quietly telling her to go lay down, finally made her get to her feet and turn around, where she returned to her seat. "They're all alive, I'm telling you guys!" She told them in a huff and while Tessa was content to ignore her, Daryl simply let out a snort of dry laughter. She shot him a look. "Well you could have a little faith!"
Daryl snorted out a laugh again. "Faith – what a load of horseshit. Faith hasn' done jack shit for us lately. It certainly hasn' for ya father . . ."
It didn't take Tessa gazing at the look of anger and shock on Beth's face, to know that probably wasn't the best thing that Daryl could have said.
"Daryl . . .!" Tessa murmured, her eyebrows furrowing together in shock as well, and Daryl glanced down at her before turning his eyes onto Beth. He gazed at her for a moment before giving her an apologetic look and returning his eyes to the fire.
"Sorry . . ." He mumbled and when Beth's eyes returned to the fire, was when Tessa moved herself down a little ways so that her head was more comfortably resting on his chest and she tucked more comfortably against his side. Her hand moved down to clasp his on her stomach and she felt him press a loving kiss to her temple before resting his cheek against her hair. She knew where Beth was coming from – silently commended her for it, in fact. If they didn't keep their hopes up, then what was the point of even continuing on?
But even then, Tessa could tell that Daryl was becoming what Lori had told her all those months and months ago back on the farm. Lori had told her that they all had deep wells full of happy memories to live off of, some understandably deeper than others. At that moment, as she lay there, tucked into her man's side and feeling his warm, weary body next to hers, Tessa could nevertheless tell that Daryl's well was already running dry.
And that terrified her.
"Hey . . . you want some?"
Maggie glanced up from the white streaks her knife was etching into the rock in front of her, to the canteen of water Sam was holding out to her. She gazed at it for a moment before silently taking it from him. She unscrewed the cap and took a short sip before replacing it and handing it to him. "Thanks . . ." She mumbled, and he gave her a smile and a nod. Sasha and Martin were sitting by the nearby stream, Sasha tending to Martin's gunshot wound, and Sam let out a grunt as he took a seat beside her.
"You know . . . I don't think you could get that knife any sharper." He told her and she glanced at him, forbidding the corners of her mouth to turn upwards into a smile like they were tempted to do. She didn't answer him, though, and continued with what she was doing as he heaved a sigh and looked away. "We all agreed that we want to stay here for the night." He told her and one of her eyebrows arched in slight condescension.
"Do you all want to stay here for the night . . . or just Sasha?" She asked and Sam wordlessly opened his mouth before closing it and turning his eyes onto her.
"Okay, it was mainly Sasha – but look -!"
Maggie let out a scoff of a laugh, interrupting him. "That figures -!"
"Maggie, listen!" Sam gently admonished her with a light but firm grip on her shoulder. It was a grip that immediately had her eyes landing on him and he sighed, his lips pursing. "Look, I want to find them as much as you do, but . . . Jesus Christ, you gotta think sensibly! This is a good place to stop for the night – we can set off in the morning -!"
"I need to find him, Sam." She interrupted him again, her eyes hard and cold and her voice as firm as his grip had been. "I can't go on pretending what we did was nothing and then not even have the common decency to see if he's alive!" She shook her head. "I'm sorry."
Sam let out a laugh and leaned into her slightly, his voice also lowering so that Sasha and Bob couldn't overhear them. "It was nothing, Maggie! I mean, yeah, it was good and all, but . . . you can't tell me that it changed the way you feel for Glenn! Because, let me tell you, if it did, you wouldn't be wanting to go out and find him as badly as you do!"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It didn't – of course it didn't! But that doesn't mean that I can't have feelings for other people, too – including you! I just . . . I was just stupid enough toact on those feelings . . ."
"We were both stressed, Maggie. Hell, we were practically at our breaking points – we just escaped the prison – we didn't know if we were going live past a few days and . . ." He shook his head, swallowing the lump that had been steadily forming in his throat. "In fact, I don't blame you in the least for what happened that night."
"How's he doing?"
Maggie's words directed towards Sasha now making her way over to them, was what interrupted him, and his jaw hardened as he turned his gaze elsewhere. Sasha nodded as she placed her hands on her hips. "The bleeding's stopped; he should be fine."
Maggie nodded and Sasha gazed at the two of them for a moment before sighing and gazing around her. "Look, I already told Sam and Bob, but we have the water at our backs and a good viewpoint from the bank. I say we camp here for the night."
Maggie nodded again. "That's good. You guys should be safe here."
"What?"
"Maggie, come on!"
Maggie ignored both Sam and Sasha's words as she got to her feet, sliding her freshly sharpened knife into the hilt at her thigh as she did so. "You guys should be safe here."
"What are you talking about?" Sasha asked, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion, and Sam sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"She wants to go out and find Glenn and the others that were on the bus with him. And I . . ." He trailed off and sighed, his gaze on Maggie as he answered: "And I'm going with her, I guess."
"The bus shouldn't be that far away. I'm going to go find them. With or without Sam, but . . . apparently, he's coming, so at least I won't be alone." She added and Sasha gazed at them for a moment like they had suddenly sprouted two heads.
"Are you two serious? And what are you going to use as protection? Those?" She asked, nodding in the direction of the knife she had so recently put away, as well as the gun that Sam was holding. Maggie nodded and stepped forward, where she reached in the back pocket of Sam's jeans. Sasha did a double take at such a friendly move, but allowed her eyes to fall onto Maggie when she withdrew the extra clip of ammo he had been keeping there.
"Well, we have spare ammo, so yeah." She told her before looking down at the extra clip she was now twirling in her hands. "I couldn't find Beth, but I know that Glenn got out and I know which direction he went. I'm going to go get him with Sam's help and then we're gonna come back for you. We all are."
"Maggie!"
"Sasha, we're going!"
"Maggie, we cannot split up – not now!" Sasha told her as she shook her head in bewilderment. Maggie kept walking, however, Sam not that far from her and she turned around briefly to give her a firm look.
"I'm going."
She turned around and continued on then, Sam shooting her an apologetic look as he followed her. Sasha gazed wordlessly after them for a moment before giving a moving Bob an incredulous look as well. He took shot her a weak, apologetic smile.
"You said it, Sasha . . . we can't split up!"
"You know, I don't mean to be that little annoying voice in the back of your mind, but . . . are you sure you know where you're going?"
Maggie shot Sam a look and he immediately threw up his hands with a little laugh. "Cool it Maggie, I'm just trying -!"
She sighed and nodded before shooting him a weak smile. "Yeah, I know, Sam, but . . . I'm just not in the mood, okay? And yes, I'm pretty damn sure we're going in the right direction." She told him before turning her head slightly. Sam noticed and nodded.
"You hear them too, don't you?" She nodded.
"I just want to find him, Sam. Is that too much to ask for?" He shook his head.
"No, not at all – at least, I don't think it is. I mean, I want to find everyone just as much as you do, so don't get me wrong – I want to know that everyone is okay, but at the same time, I can see where Sasha is coming from too."
Maggie glanced at him then. "Thanks, by the way. You could just as easy as told me to go fuck myself, especially after what happened between us . . ."
"I told you Maggie, I don't expect you to come running into my arms now. I don't expect what we did to have changed anything between you and Glenn, and come to think of it – I don't want it to! Glenn loves you and it's clear you love him back and believe it or not, I'm tired of trying to chase after women I don't have a blind man's shot in Hell with! So if it makes you feel any better, then just think of what we did, as blowing off some much-detested steam in the woods after just escaping from a life-threatening situation by the skin of our teeth."
Maggie let out a laugh as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Thanks, Sam. And thanks again, for . . . you know . . . not making this awkward."
He grinned. "I mean, I can make it awkward if you like -!"
"No, no, I'm good!" She laughed, returning his grin for a moment, before they descended into another silence as they continued on their way down the road.
After a few minutes of walking, Sam gave a little laugh and gingerly rubbed the back of his neck. He moved closer to her so that his words would not carry over to the two people walking behind them and Maggie glanced at him before returning her eyes ahead. "But, ya know . . . for all its worth - as nothing more but a quick fuck in the woods . . . it was actually pretty damn good."
Maggie couldn't help but allow a path of burning blush to spread across her cheeks, an action that Sam couldn't help but grin at. She glanced at him and opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when the grin fell from Sam's face and his eyes widened. He shook her shoulder before pointing and she turned around, only to see that he was pointing at what looked like an abandoned bus in the middle of the road. Immediately, Sam's words were flung far away from her mind and she gave a couple of ragged breaths thick with emotion before she took off at a run for the bus. Sam glanced behind him at Sasha and Bob before taking off after her.
"Maggie! Maggie, wait up!" They called, only to come to a stop when she reached the bus and was gazing up at the dirty windows with a wide-eyed look on her face. She let out a gasp and jumped when snarling walkers appeared in the windows and reached desperately out towards them through the half-opened windows and Sam swallowed hard as he stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Maggie -!"
Maggie yanked herself out of his grip before pinning a slightly murderous look onto them. "You guys should go." She told them, her eyes lingering on Sam longer than Sasha and Bob, before heading to the back of the bus. Bob firmly said her name and Sasha and Sam both jumped forward when she reached up for the latch that undid the back door of the bus.
"Maggie, don't be stupid!" Sasha told her as Sam abruptly pulled her back and she threw herself out of his grip again.
"I have to know if he's in there." She told them, her voice thick with emotion before she wheeled around to face Sam. "Sam, I have to know!" He swallowed hard and eventually, it was Martin who spoke:
"Okay, but we'll do this together, okay?"
Sasha threw him a look but Sam nodded as he stepped forward. "Yeah, come on, let's do this." He agreed and eventually, Sasha nodded as Maggie took a few steps backwards, her eyes trained on the door. Martin moved to stand behind Sasha who was at the door, while Sam moved to her left. His eyes held her in their gaze for a moment, uneasy at the ferocity with which they stayed pinned on the door and she nodded.
"Okay . . . open the door. One at a time. I need to see their faces." She told them and Sasha nodded.
The plan had worked at first. The first three walkers came out one-by-one on their own, but by the time the fourth one came, the others inside had caught whiff of what they were doing. They ended up pushing against the door in bulk, causing Bob and Sasha to lose their balance and fall backwards, just as the door banged open and walkers started tumbling out.
At first, they didn't know if they could do it, but eventually, they got the upper hand and when all the walkers lay dead at their feet, including the one that Maggie had slammed her head repeatedly into the side of the bus before pulling back and slamming her knife into her head, was when Sam moved over to stand in front of her. He had noticed her in the beginning, when all the walkers started tumbling out of the bus in bulk. She had stood there, rooted to the spot for a moment, her chest heaving and seeing them but yet not seeing them . . .
Eventually, she had joined in – her knife sliding through their heads as effortlessly as it always had, but still, it had worried him, nonetheless. He could see she was close to tears and his voice was calm and gentle as he cupped her face with his hands. "Hey, hey, hey, are you okay? You did fine – we're fine!" He assured her and she nodded, not really hearing him as her eyes surveyed the walker corpses lying before them.
"I knew them all, Sam . . . they were my friends." She told him and he nodded.
"I know, but none of them are Glenn – I made sure."
"He could still be on the bus." She replied and he nodded.
"I'll go with you, okay?"
She nodded and gave him a thankful smile, one he replied to with a smile of his own before they glanced back at Sasha and Bob. Sam gestured to the inside of the bus and they nodded in agreement, hanging back so they could do what they needed to do in peace. Maggie climbed in first, Sam pulling himself in after her and immediately the scent of sweat, death and rot, hit him like an incoming train. He gagged but forced himself to take ahold of himself, and pushed forward after Maggie. He had to go in after her – he couldn't allow her to face whatever was inside by herself - good or bad.
He stood in the aisle for a moment, unable to tear his eyes away from a torn torso lying on one of the seats, before the sounds of a scuffle coming from up at the front of the bus, caught his attention. There was the wet sound of a knife sliding through bone and brain and then the heavy 'thud' of a body hitting the floor. He heard sobbing immediately fill the space around him and when Maggie called his name, his nausea became immediately forgotten. Heart pounding in his chest, he darted forward, pulling himself along with sticky handholds on the equally as sticky leather seats until he was standing behind the young woman who had called for him in a voice thick with tears.
He looked down at the floor, saw someone lying face down with stringy black hair and without even thinking, he turned her around and pulled her into his arms, her hands fisting in his shirt as her face buried in his neck.
His left arm was wrapped tightly around her middle, holding her close as his other hand flew to the back of her head and it took him a moment to realize that the sobs had turned into cries of joy. She shook her head, her voice coming out slightly muffled due to it coming from the crook of his neck:
"It's not him, Sam – it's not him!" She told him and Sam let out a sigh of relief as he closed his eyes.
"Oh thank God . . . thank God!" He breathed out and she nodded in agreement before letting out another laugh. She took her face out of his neck and threw her arms around his neck instead, where she hugged him close. His arm moved to wrap around her waist like the other was and he stood there, content to hold her for a moment, wondering what the Hell was wrong with him in order for him to want women who already had a claim staked to them.
