"Copier…"
Summary: Paracelsus is leaving a little gift for Arthur and the gang…
Disclaimer: No copywrite infringement intended.
Part XXIX…
Alternate Warehouseverse…
Agent Jinks having requested a brief moment's talk, he and Lattimer had moved to a quiet corner…
"Sir? I'm just concerned that we're doing the right thing here, sir?"
"Jinks?" Lattimer eyed him. "Are you questioning my decisions in this matter?"
"I believe you intend the best, sir…But…This is a unique situation, sir."
"Jinks. We've have one invasion and escapes by several dangerous people armed with weapons that make the atom bomb look like a child's toy. We need to secure our world and see what threats exist out there before they come here again. I understand your fears…And I've told you and the others in the inner staff that I have no intention of running this place myself. No one man can be trusted with this kind of power, however principled. But it'll be in the hands of competent professionals, not the starry-eyed idealists of the Reagents' board. We can no longer entrust our world's safety to them, we've seen that. You've seen that. Even their people have been corrupted by this place…And you know what the cost to us was. My Cecily and others killed, Myka and Claudia corrupted…"
"Almost makes me think…Sometimes…" Jinks eyed Lattimer.
"If it would mean security for the world, yeah…I'd happily destroy this place. But it would not. These artifacts can't be destroyed, not all, not permanently. And we can never be sure when an enemy invader like this Paracelsus might try again. We can't leave ourselves defenseless. The only way is to keep them secure, and under the control of our chosen and expert leaders. After all, we're a democratic government, why shouldn't our chosen leaders be as good a choice as these self-appointed Reagents."
"You're right, of course, sir." Jinks nodded.
"I always appreciate hearing your concerns, Agent. I don't want yes men and women. I got that enough from Bering and Donovan." Frown, then smile. "We'll do this, Jinks. The way we should've from the start. The right way. And the world will be kept safe and secure, thanks to us."
"Yes, sir." Nod.
…
Original Warehouseverse…
"This…?" Claudia stared at the ball, apparently of white rubber, in Artie's hand.
Jinks likewise puzzled…
"This…" nod…
"An alien artifact? An incredibly powerful alien artifact?" she stared.
"The same…Looks harmless doesn't it?"
"Looks like a rubber ball…" Claudia peering to look it over completely. "And not a particularly interesting rubber ball."
"But…" she hesitated. "Gort…Klaatu…Barada…Nikto."
Artie pulling ball back hurriedly as Jinks eyed him.
"Never say that to this…" he anxiously noted.
"What…?" Claudia, frowning as Artie smiled.
"Ok, fine…You got me, Nielsen…"
Forever, you puddin' you…Beam.
"The Caretaker apologizes formally to the Guardian Commander for smart-assedness. Is it real, though? I'm not getting any vibes."
"It's 'vibe'-proof…Which is the point, after all." Artie noted.
Ah…Claudia smiled. "I get it. I should be pickin' up but I'm not."
"And this thing really shields the Warehouse…Even the whole Earth?" Jinks eyed the little ball.
"It does…" Artie nodded.
"Nice…What, quantum cloud transistors?" Claudia griined. "Keepin' it mini, I like these guys. Where are they from?"
"Our vague, best guess is a star system about 5000 light years away."
"And they're more or less benevolent?"
"They've had a good long time to check back in…" Artie shrugged. "So far no invasion fleet or Vogon hyperspacial bypass demolition team has shown."
"You get any more hip, Nielsen, and I'll start dating you." Claudia smiled warmly.
Ok, nice way to lay the groundwork…Nobody staring like I just developed buboes for bubonic plague.
"And with that scary thought…How does it work, Artie?" Jinks asked.
"The assigned Caretaker takes it in hand…Catch…" Artie tossed to Claudia.
Yikes…! She yelped. Jinks startled as well…
"This high-tech stuff is too much for my petite female type brain, Nielsen." She grinned, deftly catching.
"I guess I can assume it doesn't go off like an H-bomb if dropped…?" Jinks noted.
"You can keep that restarted ticker running, I'd say." Smile to Jinks. "And, oh-suddenly-Mr.-Saturday-Night-Arthur?" Claudia eyed Artie.
"Just hold it and think deactivate. It's programmed somehow to recognize the current Caretaker."
"Nice…"
Hopefully no moral judgments included in this version of Deep Thought…
Well, here goes…Deactivate.
"Hmmn…" she looked round the warehouse hall. "I don't see lights flickering or a hologram of Mr. Chekov or Geordi sayin' 'shields down, Caretaker'."
"But they are down…" Artie, examining his Farnsworth…
"Great…" nod. "How can you tell?"
"It's generating a field like our Van Allen belt but on a frequency we generally can't detect."
"But 'we', as in, us, can?"
"Via Farnsworth, yep. Though it used to be done with tuning forks. Still can be, if…"
"I can hold on the new episode of 'Fun with Mr. Science', Neilsen, maybe later." She looked around nervously.
"Guess it's good if no one suddenly materializes, right? Especially if 'they' are the Borg or the Gou'ald?" she noted.
"Don't worry…" Artie, still observing on Farnsworth. "We can reshield just as quickly."
"Ok…No worries. The Caretaker standing by." She nodded. "Maybe we should put up a 'Welcome Warehousians' sign?" she noted to Jinks.
"It is a little scary now we know we had a defense, to lose it…" Jinks smiled.
"Like finding you had an extra eye and it went out for a bit…But not to worry Neilsen, standing pat." She nervously smiled at Artie.
"Wouldn't mind a pat while standing pat." She noted.
"Thanks…Jinks…" she sighed. Jinks eyeing her, Artie busy surveying with Farnsworth.
…
Alternate Warehouse…
"Hey…" Claudia gasped as Amanda blankly pushed her into what appeared to be a solid shelf she'd led her and Nick to. Nick shoved through as well a moment later.
"Hey, guys…" Myka's disembodied voice, chuckling. "You ok? Isn't this place neat?"
"Yeah, lovely…" Claudia, looking round the vast expanse of what seemed to be desert under a night sky, yet somehow lit from an unknown source. Amanda now stepping through, giggling as she came to stand at near attention.
"Ms. Bering…" she begin, blank expression.
"Told you to do that, we get it." Claudia nodded. "Myka! Take the damned cloak off, it's getting to you."
"I'm fine…" Myka's voice… "Heyyy!" as Nick managed to feel the cloak out and pull it off her.
"Give it back!" she fumed, trying to grab…
"Myka! Enough…" Claudia ordered.
"O…K… But he should give it back."
"Does that thing neutrally depress or something here?" she asked Nick who shrugged uncertainly.
"Claudia, isn't this a great place?" Myka, quickly recovering her spirits, waving arms about.
"Yeah, very…A little pocket universe of your very…Well, I guess my counterpart's very own…" Claudia noted, looking round the vast space.
"It's huge…" Nick stared.
"My doppelganger knew where to hide out, I'll give her that." Claudia nodded. "Well, lets hope she wasn't all that big on hiking and jogging or we may be searching a while."
"Found it!" Myka raised a metal stylus…
"Careful! Myka!"
"I found it…And if you want it…" Myka waved the stylus…
"Here, Ms. Bering." Nick offered a cloak.
"Oooh, thanks…" she put it on…
That's not…Claudia eyed Nick who grinned.
"I'm invisible! Look at me…Whee!" Myka waved arms under the cloak.
"Yeah, wonderful…It doesn't do anything, does it?" Claudia hissed to Nick.
"I think it's just a cloak…It was on the ground here, they might have used it as a blanket." Nick hissed back.
"Hey, Amanda…!" Myka shook cloak. "You can't see me!"
"I can't see you." Amanda nodded.
"I'm starting to feel very creepy about that thing." Claudia sighed to Nick as they watched. "I hope we can get it off her soon. Amanda?"
"Yes, Claudia?" flat reply.
"Do you know if there's more things in here, close by?"
"Yes. There are." Amanda nodded.
"Ok…Please try and find them for us?"
"Yes, Claudia."
"Hey…I see my hands…" Myka stared at her hands. "Claudia? Is that right?"
"Uh, sure…After a while you can see yourself…"
"But you…Can't…" Myka, gleefully. "Lemme take off all my clothes so you can't see anything…"
Uh…Nick eyed Claudia.
"Myka, it's cold in here and Nick would still be embarrassed, just at the thought. Don't do that, please?"
"Oh. Ok…Sorry, Nick…" Myka, nodding. "Don't be embarrassed."
"Ok, this is part of that Pepys Pantagraph, created or adapted by Robert Hooke in the 17th century." Claudia noted, examining the stylus and a few parts on the ground near where the stylus had been found.
"Ohhh…" she nodded, smiling at Nick. "We're on the right track, Nick. This was the thing Sam Pepys used to get his wife back in 1669. But it must not have restored her…It brought her from her world to his."
"But wouldn't that mean Mr. Pepys or Mr. Hooke, at least, used my uncle's components?" Nick pondered.
"Probably…Hooke would likely have had access to Paracelsus' writings. They were all a bit alchemy in those days. Even Newton tried to find the Philosopher's…" Claudia paused.
Whoa…
"Nicholas…" she eyed Nick. "Tell me…Did your mother and father ever have the Philosopher's Stone, whole or in halves?"
"The Stone uncle used on us? Well, yes, part…Mother hid half away and Father still has a tiny piece of it, set in his signet ring. Warehouse 9 took the other half from Father after he got it from my uncle."
"The Stone…" she murmured. "Of course…Our Paracelsus was from another universe…He couldn't be sure our universe's Stone would work on him. And Newton was a caretaker in both our universes and here, he had access to the half Stone in your warehouse…" she sighed.
"Lord Issac Newton?" Nick stared. "The man who discovered gravity?"
"Promoted here, eh?" Claudia smiled, shaking head. "He was just a Sir in my world…"
Yet another Caretaker walking on the Edge…Issac Newton, you little…You took the half Stone from the Warehouse, to play alchemist.
Well, at least here…In this rather bizarro universe…
"Pepys knew Newton." She shook her head. "He arranged for Newton's Principia Mathematica to be published when he was Secretary to the Royal Society, in both universes. And Paracelsus couldn't be sure if both Newtons had the half Stone or no so he had to have an intro to both, flipping from world to world until he realized your Newton had only one half…And only one Newton had that much. Nick?" she eyed him. "In your travels in this universe, did you by any chance ever meet up with Sam Pepys or Robert Hooke, circa 1660-70?"
He shook head. "I've heard of Mr. Pepys, in fact I used to see him at the King's Playhouse when Mother and I lived in London and went to plays after the place was reopened in the 1660s, after the Restoration. I've read his Diary but, no…I never met him personally. Or Mr. Hooke."
Ohh…Myka echoed, now. "Is there some aspirin in here? Amanda, is there aspirin? Can you get me aspirin?"
"Whoa, no, Amanda, stay here!" Claudia countermanded as Amanda started out through the pocket universe's portal.
Knew that would come in handy, my fail-safe mechanism.
"Mr. Pepys kidnapped her?" Nick stared at the stylus. "His wife? Or the other wife, actually…?"
"Pepys? I don't know, I think he thought he and his science geek friend were bringing her back from the dead. Equally creepy though…" she nodded. "But this must have part of Paracelsus's original transit system embedded in...And be part of his more advanced upgrade in our time. And I think I know how they got hold of it. Or rather, how Pepys did, from Paracelsus. They do say Hooke was a creepy sob…And reclusive, which he'd've wanted to be to keep out of your and your parents' sights."
Nick staring…
"Mr. Hooke?...Was my uncle? But, Warehouse 9 placed him in bronze, in my time…"
"They placed a Paracelsus in bronze…Here and in my universe…" Claudia noted. "And here and in my universe, the Paracelsus who trapped them in his place called himself Robert Hooke for a time…And used Sam Pepys to get half of your world's Stone, in exchange for 'resurrecting' his wife in two universes, maybe more."
"But somehow, once he had the Pantagraph, either it wasn't good enough or your Warehouse 10, by that time, caught up with him and took it, maybe both. Hmmn…He might even have let Newton take it, if it wasn't perfect…Yeah. Send it back to Warehouse 10, even claim he was being responsible, as Hooke. Then he'd know where it was and could work on it whenever he found something new, improving on it, while he traced the other Stone half here to your mother. And found our Stone's location. But there must be something about our universe that drew him there…Not back to his own universe, since he wasn't from here."
"Maybe your universe's Paracelsus helped him?" Nick suggested. "If they both developed as evil, as you say yours was…Maybe there are only a few evil versions?"
"That could be it…" Claudia nodded. "If they ran into each other flipping between universes, it'd make sense they'd pool resources to find their respective Stones, no doubt planning to do their partner in, later."
"But if they are partners…" Nick, hesitant.
"One or more wanderin' round still, highly likely. And ours wasn't quite the menace we expected…He might have been junior partner, which would make sense…Paracelsus would prefer a less able counterpart who could be disposed of later." She sighed, looking at the stylus. "Well, it looks like one of them or both or my counterpart kept this world's Pantagraph for backup. We'd best see if we can find enough of the thing to try and use it."
Myka staring at them… "Now I really need some aspirin…"
…..
Original Warehouse…
Artie having set their Farnsworths to the proper frequencies range, Jinks and Alternate Claudia were cautiously setting forth to do a sweep for any possible "visitations". Artie off to add Myka and Pete to the sweep…
"You know…You might wanna be careful…" Jinks began…As they moved down the central axis of the Warehouse, both monitoring respective Farnsworths. Claudia with at least equal diligence to Jinks…
Hey, if other Warehousers are gonna come popping in, looking for my ex-partner or one of his equally evil doppelgangers, or said doppelgangers chose to come a chargin' the Queen intends to be informed.
Not to mention there's always the slim chance my own counterpart might find her way back here. And I definitely want to be able to deal with the menace of Evil Claudia…And see she's sent to her just desserts before she can spread fiendish lies about me.
"I'm followin' Neilsen's Guide to Restrained Caretaking'…I swear." Claudia nodded. "Unless you mean watch out for Pete's roller skate here…" she eyed the skate in the corridor.
I mean, given what I've seen of Pete here…It's gotta be his…
"I mean with Artie…" he regarded her.
Hmmn…
Well, with he who can sense all, probably best to use honesty whenever possible…In manageable doses…
"I'm that obvious….I mean, Neilsenwise?" she gave winsome smile.
"I know you've always sorta had feelings that way. Heck, Pete still loves to make 'my little Claudia and her long-over thing for Artie' jokes that I gather from Myka were getting old three years ago…But…I guess we'd assumed you were…Well…"
"Growing up and out…" she nodded.
"Sorta…And you did seem interested in guys a bit closer and Artie had met Vanessa. But…Things are different now." He paused. "You're Caretaker and likely to be spending a long time with Artie…And Vanessa, I guess, maybe be occupied elsewhere."
"And it's not a silly kid's thing now…" she smiled. "No, it's not, Jinks."
"Whoa." He blinked.
"What?"
"I guess I was kinda hoping you'd say I was wrong, a little anyway."
"Gross, huh?" frown.
"No…" he put up a hand. "But it is pretty May-Octoberish…You being pretty May and he pretty Octoberish…"
"There's nothing creepy on his part, you know. He never…"
"I know…And I've seen it hurt, once or twice."
So…Why Claudia Donovan, my counterpart, you little tramp/dear thing…Thanks a load for the opening…I'll kill you if you ever somehow come back and get between us, but thanks loads for openin' that door.
"Are you sayin'…'It's hopeless, Claudy'. Pack yer kit bag and move along?" she eyed him coolly.
"Are you angry at me?" Jinks stared.
"A little, yes…" she nodded. "Hey, woman in love here. Jinks? I just want to believe in possibilities…"
"Ok if I say…Whoa…Again? Not intending it as a negative, just…" he sighed. "I don't say it's hopeless, Claud. If you really…"
"I can wait…" she noted, eagerly. "If he needs twenty years and for me to gain eighty pounds, though he's losin', I promise you…I can do that, Jinks. Well, maybe forty pounds."
"Well…" he sighed. "Just give him…"
"Space and time…Hey, the Mistress of the Warehouse can do that, no problemo." Claudia beamed. "Thanks, bud." She patted him.
Yes, indeed. Thanks for keepin' me from killing you right now, right here, bud. Well, see…The new Claudia…Forbearing, tolerant…Self-controlled. And grateful…
I could get to be fond of you, kiddo…Of this world…She smiled warmly at Jinks.
Not that I will ever take my eyes off the prize, but I could…Be oh, so good…Within reason. If you guys will help me…To be your Claudia. Artie's Claudia…
"You're a good pal, Jinks. And I'll take your advice, I promise." She wryly smiled. "But lets leave Romance on the third shelf of aisle 14 with Juliet's Rose, guaranteed to keep a guy true. We may soon be having company and lets be ready."
Jinks nodding, with wry smile…
"So…If Artie's right…" he noted, clearly relieved to be off the subject of romance... "Paracelsus and/or his doppelgangers are using a version of Pepys' Pantagraph…And Samuel Pepys' scientist/alchemist friend Hooke incorporated an artifact capable of pulling people from an alternate universe into this one in the Pantagraph…" Jinks pondered. "And some new component in the Pantagraph enabled you to home in on the person you wanted to pull over…As opposed to the original paintbrush thing just randomly bringing things or people yhou paint across."
"Sam Pepys, kidnapper par excellence…If devoted spouse…" Claudia noted with smile. "Who somehow provided our friend Paracelsus with a compass of sorts for his travels."
"Or his friend Hooke did. Say, pretty awful, to be ripped from your world…Even if the new one is very similar. And given it had to be a one-way trip, in Mrs. Pepys' case…Stranded forever." Jinks shook his head.
"Well, they seem to have been happy enough…She stayed with Pepys in her new identity. And maybe it wasn't one-way…She coulda had the option to go home." Claudia noted. "Maybe he was nicer than the one she knew…And our world better than the one she'd been living in. Not necessarily always a curse involved here, Jinksed one." She smiled at him.
"I know…And it wasn't meant to be a reference to me and resurrection." Jinks paused… "Say? You don't suppose…?" he eyed her.
"I think you'd remember if you'd been pulled over from somewhere else…Unless the two worlds are 99.99999 etc close." Claudia, thoughtfully. "Still…We could look into it. If you'd like to…"
"Go home?" Jinks regarded her. "Well…I'd hate to think there were people missing me somewhere else. But I don't think that's my experience. I remember the dying bit."
"Yeah…" Claudia winced, patting him. "Sorry…Honestly. Though not sorry to have you around."
And honestly…I am gettin' to like you, kiddo…
Which is sayin' something, given my previous relationship with your counterpart.
I can do this…
I can be the Claudia Donovan of the Light Side of the Force…The beloved Claudia. She beamed.
Beloved Claudia Donovan Neilsen…Loving wife, friend…Mother?
Hell, why not.
And of course, World Empress…But the most benevolent of despots, natch with Arthur as my consort.
Just so long as my counterpart, that fiend and murderess, remains a lovely bronze work of art in my…Her…Own universe.
Jesus…She blanched a moment. I have a good brother here. My worse than worthless bro who did so much to make me…Her…Her…That poor benighted thing with my face…What she was…Is a loving and dear if often, thank the gods and fates and anyone else plugged into my destiny, distant, brother.
"Claud?" Jinks eyed her. "Anything wrong?"
"Hmmn? Oh, no…Just thinkin' about my brother…" she noted. "I think I'm a little nervous about him." She confessed.
Yes, confession to the clueless priest/lie-detector is good for the soul so long as he's no idea what you're talking about.
"I'm he's ok. Paracelsus wouldn't have grabbed him and not told you by now."
"You're right." She nodded, beaming. "I'm sure he's fine, I'd know if he weren't."
"Claud? Be careful using those new-found powers. Artie's right about them being dangerous and a little addictive…" Jinks cautioned.
"Oh, I've always been able to sense when he was in trouble…" she noted. "Sixish sense…" grin. "But I will try to watch what I'm doing, you're right on that one too."
Hey, why not share my joy…
"Jinks, I'm so glad you're here…And you're you." She hugged him to his startle. She released him, patting arm. "Don't get all nervous, that's just the new, interim Caretaker proving her style's just a tad easier-going than our soon-to-return Ms. F."
Yes, a minor white lie but one any good friend would tell…And any other good friend would expect, human lie detector or no…
"I hope so, though Claud…" he nodded at her. "If you stay Caretaker I know you'll be terrific."
"I really will try, Steven." She smiled gently.
Absolute truth, my dear if a bit newer than you realize, friend…I really will…
Just have to right one serious wrong and prevent the fiendish anti-Myka from despoiling our lil' Garden of Eden here.
It's what any responsible and good Claudia would do…Absolutely…And one could argue the greater good of having a capable Claudia-in-Charge here is quite reason enough to keep mum on the subject of how she got here and how I happen to know her evil nature.
"Wait…" Jinks paused. "That guy Hooke, the one who helped Pepys…He was a genius, right."
"A creepy one, I think…If memory serves, yeah…But definitely brilliant."
"Claud…He didn't just come up with the Pantagraph out of thin air…He knew all about the paintbrush artifact. And only one guy could have known…"
"Jinks…?"
"You said he was creepy, right? Anti-social, maybe?"
"Yeah…"
"We got a pic of that guy handy?" Jinks looked at her. "I'd be willing to bet it bears a striking resemblance to someone we know too well."
…
