I know this hasn't been a week since my next "scheduled" update (I use that term loosely ha ha) but since this chapter has only a tiny, tiny part of the next featured episode in it, I figured it wouldn't hurt to post it now. Anyway, I do think you guys will like this chapter, as it shows a couple of sides to a couple of characters, that, quite frankly, are not seen very often. I'm interested to see how you guys will react to this chapter.
HaloHunter89: Thanks for your condolences - they were very kind. And as for the love triangle, you see that more this chapter :)
Okay, onwards to the chapter and you guys know what to do by now, I think!
Read, review and above all - enjoy!
- Nagiana
"Babydoll, quick - get in here!"
"Wren – hand Daryl Danny!"
"And then ya'll get in tha other trunk – I think all three of ya can fit if ya get up close and personal!"
Wren, Ethan and Beth quickly nodded at Daryl and Tessa's hushed words. Wren quickly handed Daryl his youngest son and he waited until Tessa climbed into the battered car's trunk with Aayla and had her situated before carefully handing her Danny. While she was quickly getting him situated too, Daryl watched as the other three packed themselves into the trunk of the second car across the street from them. Ethan was the last to get in, and the two Dixon's nodded towards each other before the both of them hopped into their retrospective trunks with a synchronicity that would make any water Olympic team jealous.
"Ya'll comfortable?" Daryl murmured as he reached up and pulled the trunk lid down with a creak while making sure there was still a sliver for air for them to breath. He then tied down the trunk down with the red bandana he always seemed to carry with him. Tessa nodded as she pulled the twins closer to her. In actuality, he was marveling at how big the car's trunk really was. Even with the both of them plus the twins, it remained quite roomy.
"Yeah . . . yeah, they're fine." She told him and Daryl shot her a smile.
"I was askin' ya too, ya know." He told her and she nodded.
"I know."
They fell silent then as the moans and shuffles of walkers could be heard moving past them, and their hearts began pounding in their chests. They both prayed (well, Tessa prayed – Daryl simply hoped) that they would pass them and the other car by peacefully instead of smelling them through the thin slats of air and then would immediately proceed to bang on the trunk doors trying to get in.
"They're bein' really good . . . I'm surprised . . ." Daryl murmured as he reached over her to lovingly run his hand over Aayla's head. She and Danny gazed up at the both of them, and Tessa smiled a small smile and nodded. Like they sensed the dire straits they were in, the twins were being remarkably silent, and for that, the both of them were grateful. She couldn't help but let out a gasp when his hand flattened out over her stomach, where it pulled her closer to him as his lips descended briefly onto the nape of her neck. "Luke's bein' real good too . . ." He murmured, a teasing tone to his voice, and Tessa rolled her eyes good-naturedly when she felt the smile on his face, against the soft skin of her neck.
"It's not a girl?"
He shook his head. "Nah . . . it'll be a girl tomorrow."
Tessa let out a quiet laugh. "It's still too early, too . . . give me a month and I'll maybe start to feel some movement."
She felt Daryl silently nod beside her before they fell into silence. They lay there, listening to everything that was happening outside of the car trunk they found themselves in, and for a moment, they thought there would be no end to the stream of walkers that made their way past the cars. Eventually, a storm blew in – the lightning and thunder blending together with the moans of the walkers to create a great cacophony that eventually did have the twins crying. Thankfully, though, the walkers couldn't hear them over the myriad of sounds that night, and eventually, the twins cried themselves into a fitful sleep. And eventually, Tessa fell asleep as well, the twins held snugly in her arms as Daryl kept a constant, hawk-like vigil – his crossbow trained on the door so that he could shoot the first dead son-of-a-bitch that managed to get through.
Tessa hadn't realized how badly she had scooted her back into Daryl's front, seeking for that protective grip he always kept around her while they slept, nowadays, until that morning, when sunlight streamed in through the thin slat, right in her eyes. His crossbow still remained trained on the door and when she shifted awake, was when he glanced down at her. "Have a good sleep?" He asked, and Tessa nodded. She sat up a little then, rubbing the sleep from her eyes before she placed a hand on his crossbow and gently lowered it.
"How were things?"
"They stopped movin' by tha car, at around three, I think. I couldn' go to sleep after tha' . . . guess I was too wired . . ." He answered her, and Tessa nodded. She quickly checked the twins over and noticed they had wet diapers on and heaved a sigh.
"Well, we got to get out of here, anyway. I'm stiffer than the dead right now and I also need to change and feed the twins." She told him and he nodded. He leaned forward and pecked her on the lips before she moved to undo the bandana that tied down the hood. "I'm sorry, babe, but you smell . . .!" She muttered as she worked at undoing the knot and Daryl heaved a sigh.
"Well, I'm sorry too, but ya don' exactly smell like a bloomin' rose yaself, babydoll!" He immediately cracked back, his voice holding a teasing note to it, and she shot him a grin over her shoulder. It felt good, him joking with her. For the longest time now, he had seemed so morose and melancholy - to the point where Tessa often found herself worrying about him. But when he returned her grin seconds after seeing her own, she couldn't help but feel a little bit better.
It took just a moment more, but then she finally had the door open. She pushed it upwards and they immediately sat up, squinting in the sunlight. Ethan, Wren and Beth, who all looked as exhausted as they were, were getting out of their trunk around the same time they were, too.
"Here, Daryl – take her . . ." Tessa spoke and Daryl nodded as he shouldered his crossbow before taking Aayla from her. He reflexively placed her on his hip and held her close as Tessa stepped out of the trunk and then turned around for Danny. She lifted him out and Daryl closed the trunk so that Tessa could place her son down on top of it. "Wren, hand me a couple of diapers and baby wipes, will ya?" She asked, and Wren nodded as she handed her the bag.
"We're getting low . . . on everything." Tessa murmured to him and Daryl nodded as he continued to bounce Aayla on his hip.
"I know. We'll manage, somehow . . ." He replied in as equally a quiet murmur before placing a loving kiss on his daughter's temple. She had also detected a slightly grim note to his voice as well that she didn't like at all.
"We should also start transitioning them over from formula to regular food – slowly at first, of course." She told him and he nodded. She could see a look of relief pass across his face and admitted that she could feel it as well. When the twins would start to eat more solid foods instead of just formula, that would be one last thing they would need to look out for. However, it would also put pressure on Daryl and Ethan to bring back more and more game, but like everything, she knew they would tackle that when the time came.
"Here, he's done. Would you mind feeding him for me?" Tessa asked Wren, and she nodded as she took Danny from her before reaching into the bag for a bottle. Tessa took Aayla from Daryl then and she let out a protest that Daryl and Tessa both quickly shushed, before she placed her on the trunk where her brother had been previously.
"Ethan, Beth – let's loot while they do this." He told them, and they both nodded as they immediately made their way for the cars to loot anything of value.
"I was so scared last night . . ." Wren confided to Tessa as she fed Danny and while Tessa continued to change Aayla. Tessa nodded.
"I know, honey . . . I was too."
"And Ethan . . . Jesus Christ, I didn't think he would ever take his gun away from the lid of that trunk!" She continued with a laugh, and Tessa smiled a small smile and nodded.
"Yeah, Daryl did the same. I'm pretty sure he stayed up all night too." Wren nodded.
"Yeah . . . same here with Ethan."
They fell into silence then and eventually, Tessa finished changing Aayla, where she got her a bottle and started feeding her. It was also around that time, that Daryl, Beth and Ethan approached them, Daryl and Ethan holding black garbage bags filled with valuables that could be useful for trading later on. It had been one of Wren's ideas – a damn good one, if Daryl could say anything.
"Ya'll ready to move on?" He asked, and the both of them nodded as Beth moved to pack away the baby's things. Daryl waited for them for a moment but then began walking away, Ethan running to catch up to him. Beth, Tessa and Wren stood together for a moment, gazing after them, and it was then that Tessa swallowed hard.
"I'm worried about him." She confessed, and Beth nodded.
"Me too."
"Me three." Wren quietly added, and Tessa gave them each a grave look before leading them after them.
"Daryl!"
He stopped and turned when he heard Tessa call his name and they all stopped as she moved up to him. "Here, let me carry the bag for a spell – you can carry Aayla." She told him and the change was subtle, but she could still see it nevertheless. His body had been as tense and as taut as a bowstring while carrying the black bag, but when she suggested that they trade, his whole demeanor changed. His body relaxed, as did his expression, and his eyes softened as he nodded.
"Yeah . . . yeah, gimme her . . ." He agreed quietly, and she smiled as he placed the bag down on the ground and swung his crossbow over his shoulder before taking his daughter from her. Aayla immediately moved to wrap her arms around her father's neck and he held her close as Tessa picked up the bag and after swinging it over her shoulder, they began to walk again. She snuck glances at him every once in a while out of the corner of her eyes and she could see how much more relaxed he was now. When he was holding one of his kids, Daryl didn't seem as melancholy and despondent as he normally was when he was doing something else, and she knew they served as reminders for him. When he was holding one of his kids, he remembered that it wasn't just about him. He remembered that he couldn't give up – that he had a family who needed him just as much as he needed them.
His touch was gentle and loving as he cradled his daughter in his arms, and when she announced – in broken baby gibberish – that she had seen a squirrel, he answered her with the soft, teasing tone and infinite patience of a devoted father.
And for a moment – just a moment's ripple in the fabric of time – Tessa knew that they would be okay.
Not one of them new how long they had been walking that day ever since they abandoned the ruined truck. Maybe Glenn did, maybe Jeremy did, but other than the two of them, no one really knew. All they knew for damn sure was that the shit they were carrying was starting to get heavy, and their feet were starting to hurt.
"Let's stop here for the night. Fan out, set up camp, all that good stuff. We'll continue on in the morning." Abraham spoke up and Jeremy was surprised to see Glenn nod in agreement.
"You're right. Let's call it a night. We'll only get lost in the darkness."
They all nodded as Jeremy dropped the stuff he had been carrying. He opened his mouth to speak, but Tara interrupted him. "I'll take first watch, okay?" She announced, and everyone nodded again as she turned withdrew her knife. Jeremy closed his mouth and shrugged. He was going to suggest he take first watch, but whatever. He could always take second.
He looked up. Rosita and Evan were busy setting up a campfire, grins and laughter on their faces, and he observed them as he reached into one of the bags he had been carrying, for something that they would need. He didn't notice when Abraham walked up to him and bent down next to him, digging into one of his bags as well.
"We should be going to Washington." He spoke, gruffly, and Jeremy let out a laugh.
"Then why the fuck have been you following us?" He asked and Abraham couldn't help but cock a grin and release a laugh.
"'Cause if I didn't, then who else would keep your half-insane ass out of trouble?" He asked, and Jeremy let out another laugh.
"I ain't that crazy!" He muttered and Abraham shook his head.
"You sleep what? Four hours a night? You eat only once a day, you jump at the slightest noise . . ." He trailed off and shook his head. "Yeah, someone has to watch your PTSD ridden self, buddy." Jeremy felt the impact of the slap that Abraham delivered to his back at his words, and couldn't help but agree with him – to an extent. He had been a prisoner of war. He had spent months behind enemy lines, treated as nothing more but dirt beneath the sandals of the men they were fighting. He was tortured, humiliated – pictures of his family and friends paraded before him and tried to be used as ammunition against him. It had taken every ounce of his Navy SEAL training to remain sane and when he had finally been liberated by a platoon of Marines scouting through the area he was being held in, he thought it was over. He was supposed to go home, get the therapy he needed to integrate himself back into regular society, and hopefully, not wake up one morning and put a shotgun to his head. However, before he could get very far into his therapy, the world went to Hell in a handbasket, making that crucial therapy null and void.
He was fine, though, he felt. Maybe it was because he blew off steam every day by beheading and slicing into the walking dead. Maybe it was because his daughter kept him sane. He didn't know, but whatever it was, he hoped it never stopped.
He glanced upwards towards Evan and Rosita again, and this time, his eyes crossed with Rosita's. She smiled and he forced himself to keep a smile from his face as well. It was dangerous for them to do anything in front of Abraham. It was another thing that kept him on his toes.
After camp was set up, dinner was scrounged up, night had fallen. Crickets chirped in the brush and the nearby forest treeline that surrounded them, and finally, Jeremy had managed to secure himself a spot on the watch. He kept watch by a tree on the fringes of the campfire, muscular arms crossed in front of his chest and his eyes constantly scanning the world around him. Everyone was sitting up, talking quietly, or had managed to doze off, and Jeremy admired them for that. He wished he could sleep as soundly as they did.
"Hey . . ."
Jeremy glanced behind him at Rosita, and smiled as she approached him from the others huddled around the campfire. "Hey. Shouldn't you be asleep? We got a long way to walk tomorrow, apparently."
"And leave you over here all by your stony lonesome? Not a chance, Officer Roth." She grinned and he couldn't help but return her grin with a smile of his own as she handed him a bottle of water. "Here . . . thought you might be thirsty."
"Thanks – I am. I have been all damn day, in fact!" He thanked her as he took it from her, and her eyebrows furrowed together in concern.
"You're not . . . you're feeling bad, are you?" She asked and he arched an eyebrow in amusement.
"Worried I got the flu or something?" He chuckled as he unscrewed the cap and held it in the same hand as the bottle as he took a swig. "Naw, I'm feeling just fine, Rosi. I've just been thirsted to death all day, that's all."
She gave a laugh as she leaned up against the very same tree he was leaning up against. "You do know that you're the only one in my entire life that I've ever allowed to call me 'Rosi', right?" She asked him, and Jeremy grinned as he took another swig of water.
"I get the feeling that I'm the only one who's allowed to do a lot of things to you – OW!"
She adopted a slightly angry but yet good-natured look on her face as she interrupted him mid-sentence with a sharp elbow-jab in the ribs. He ended up laughing as he held his ribs and she shook her head. "You're such an ass, you know that, right?" She asked before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I mean, Jesus Christ, you don't have to rubit in!" She muttered, and he paused in his third swig of water to glance at her.
"Rub what in?"
She turned a "What-Do-You-Think?" look onto him before speaking: "Well, it's just the fact that I mean nothing to you except when you want . . . company, and sometimes – like this afternoon, for a good example – you feel the need to . . . rub it in. To remind me of the fact . . ."
He nodded in understanding as he returned his gaze onto the surrounding treeline, making sure that there were no walkers trying to interrupt their little rendezvous. When there were none that made themselves readily known, he then quickly screwed the cap back onto the water bottle she had handed to him. "You make me sound like such a fucking asshole!" He remarked with a laugh and while he meant it jokingly, he was slightly taken aback when she simply gave a shrug.
"Well, let's look at it this way then: if this was the real world – if Charlie's weren't real and we were . . . I don't know – camping, right now – then we'd go home when this trip was over, return to our regular lives, our regular jobs and regular everything. Then let's say we'd keep this going – whatever this is between us, anyway. Realistically, not only would I still be cutting out on Abraham, but we could also probably smack the title: "Booty call" or "Friends-With-Benefits" onto this, right? Well, you'd end up coming over when Abraham wasn't over or I'd end up going over to your house when the same applied - we'd fuck until we couldn't fuck anymore, and then the next morning or afternoon when I was having breakfast or lunch with my girlfriends, I'd talk about you, the amazing night we had," Jeremy let out a bark of a laugh at this but she ignored him and continued on: "Then, my girlfriends would end up complaining about how it doesn't matter how huge your dick is -"
"Come on, Rosi – it ain't that big -!"
"- Or how good you are in bed – that doesn't matter, because eventually, this whole booty call or FWB thing will make me feel like shit every morning and I don't deserve that." She grinned a tight grin and turned a sticky sweet smile onto him. "So yeah, you're an asshole."
He gazed down at her for a moment, and watched as the sticky sweet smile disappeared and was replaced with something else. It was another emotion that he couldn't rightly place his finger on for a moment and when he finally did, it made a look of incredulity appear on his.
"Rosi . . . do you feel like shit every time we have sex?"
She immediately turned her eyes onto him then, and they widened at the sudden question. "Jeremy, I didn't mean anything -!"
He shook his head and pushed himself off of the tree then, where he turned to fully face her. His brows were knitted together in concern, and he shook his head again. "Rosita . . ." He started but trailed off when he realized he didn't know how to put what he needed to say. He finally spoke again when he knew what he needed to say: "Rosi, I . . . if sleeping with me makes you wake up in the morning feeling like shit, then we don't need to be having sex anymore! I mean, I told you in the beginning that I can't give you what I don't have! And for the past few times, I always ended up thinking that you were in this for the same reason that I was – a good roll around in the hay! But . . . Jesus Christ, Rosi, I never . . ." He swallowed hard and shook his head again. "I never wanted you to feel bad about yourself! I never wanted you to-to sleep with me and then walk away feeling like dirt the next morning! I never wanted any of that for you!"
"Did I say any of that, Jeremy?" She asked him and he shook his head.
"No, but -"
"Then don't worry about me, okay?" She asked, interrupting him before he could continue. "Jeremy, I'm a big girl. You might be older than me by about what? Eighteen years? And you might have life experiences that I will never have, but that still does not mean that I can't take care of myself. You don't need to protect me – you don't need to-to . . ." She trailed off and shook her head again. Her face was expressionless but her eyes echoed an emotion that he didn't like because once again, he couldn't place it right off the bat. "Look, I've done these kinds of relationships before, okay – the relationships where one of us clearly likes the other one more – so I know how this goes. We can continue to have sex whenever one or the both of us need it - I've got this – I promise you I do!" He shook his head.
"Yeah well, I don't got this! Do you know how fucked up I am in the head, Rosita? Do you know how damaged I am? You don't want me – you don't deserve someone like me! You deserve someone better – someone who wasn't tortured and interrogated and put through Hell as a POW. You deserve someone like Abraham – someone who loves you and who doesn't pine for another woman!" He gave a laugh then. "Do you not think that I would give anything in the world to be able to let go of Tessa and move on? Because I do, Rosi – I pray every night that I could wake up that next morning and have the strength to finally move on, but I can't! I loved her – I love her still – but yet I know I won't be able to have her because she's married now and has children. I know my time with her is over and yet, I can't just . . . I can't stop holding a torch for her!" He shook his head, his eyes pained. "And you don't deserve that, Rosi! You don't -!"
She shook her head and moved over to him then, where she framed his face with her hands. He closed his eyes and leaned into her and she held him close and for once, in a long time, Jeremy marveled at how his demon's seemed to . . . fall silent. He swallowed hard and allowed his arms to wrap around her waist, where he brought her as close to him as he dared. "Rosi, listen to me, okay? You don't deserve a broken old man like me." He told her and she let out a frustrated groan.
"Stop telling me what you think I deserve, Jeremy!" She snapped through gritted teeth and he couldn't help but want to smile at that. He had always liked her venom – her spunk. "If I want an old man driven half-crazy by occasional PTSD, then I will have an old man driven half-crazy by occasional PTSD!"
"I can't give you what I don't have, Rosi." He continued stubbornly on with a shake of his head. "I can't give you the relationship you deserve – the love thatyou deserve! All of that already belongs to a woman that . . . that for all I know, might have forgotten me." He pinned her with a look then. "And I know you feel like shit every time we have sex – I know you do! And since I can't give you what I don't have, then us continuing to sleep together, is only going to make it worse for you. You're only going to keep feeling like shit and I don't want that!"
She gave a small smile as her hands moved down from his face, to spread out over his chest. "I lied, you know . . . you really aren't that much of a bad guy . . ." She murmured and he gave a laugh.
"I'll tell you what I can do, though . . ." He spoke when the laugh died and she turned her gaze up to him when he continued: "I can find Tess – her and Ethan both. If Glenn is searching for them, then we'll eventually find them. When I do, I can make sure she's alright – that the both of them are alright. After that, maybe . . . maybe I can move on. And when I do – Abraham be damned - I want it to be with you, Rosi."
Rosita gazed up at him for a moment, shock flickering through her eyes, before she shook her head. Before he could say or do anything, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, where she kissed him. It was a deep, passionate kiss, and when they broke apart after a moment, Rosita took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.
"I won't feel like shit this time, Jeremy . . . I promise." She murmured and he gazed at her for a moment before leaning down, where his lips met hers again. It was a much softer, but no less passionate kiss, and when his hands fell onto her hips so that he could guide her backwards against the nearby tree, she allowed him to.
He had been right. Her hips weren't as wide or curvy as Tessa's were, but as he cradled the hot flesh separating the rough fabric of her jean shorts from the much softer fabric that formed her t-shirt, he found he didn't care. She was slighter than Tessa was – her hair wasn't as long or as curly. She wasn't as pretty as Tessa was either, but she was still beautiful. Point of the matter was, she wasn't Tessa, and not once had Jeremy mistaken her for Tessa and he never would.
Rosita was Rosita - he wouldn't have her any other way.
His lips left hers and he trailed downwards, over her jaw, to suckle at the hollow of her throat. Her hands grasped at him – at things within him that she couldn't quite reach yet – as his hands moved over her body – grasping and kneading at places that made her gasp and moan and arch against him. When his fingers reached the belt to her shorts, she allowed him to undo it and then the button and fly.
Army colored green shorts were shimmied down slim hips and lean legs, only to be kicked a little ways away so they wouldn't be in the way. Black lacy panties remained and his callused hands skimmed up her legs and her thighs, only for his fingers to hook into the elasticity of her panties. He made to pull them down and stand up, but firm hands on his shoulders both stopped him from standing back up, as well as garnering his attention.
She swallowed hard as a nervous look appeared on her face. "Will you . . . will you go down on me? Please . . .?"
Jeremy gazed at her for a moment before giving an indifferent shrug and dropping to his knees in front of her. "It ain't exactly something I hate doing, so . . . you're in luck." He grinned and she returned the grin with a slightly nervous smile. Her hands remained on his broad shoulders and in an effort to displace that nervous smile from her face, he continued to grin for just a moment longer. "Gotta warn ya though, Rosi - I'm about to rock your world very hard, so . . . I hope your prepared for Abraham never being able to compete after this."
Her eyes widened good-naturedly. "My, you're a cocky son-of-a-bitch, aren't you?" She laughed and he gave a shrug.
"Hey, it's not being cocky if you're telling the truth! And I happen to very, very good at this!" She shot him a look.
"Then shut the fuck up and put your money where your mouth is, Jeremy Roth!" She snapped and Jeremy couldn't help but grin.
He loved her venom and the look of iron that she would gather in her eyes when she was irritated or angry. He loved the way she arched above him and before him as he made love to her with his mouth and fingers, and then eventually, when he buried himself inside her and sought that fervid release that the both of them wanted so badly. He loved so many things about her and when they were finished and catching their breath afterwards against the tree that had witnessed so much in the past hour, Jeremy realized something:
Contrary to what he had told her earlier, he would fight for her.
Gladly.
