A cool breeze was blowing the last of leaves from the very tree we're he rested. This tree meant the world to him and it was where he spent most of his days. He gave a deep sigh as he watched another leaf drift slowly to the ground below. Before long the tree would be bare and once again the cold winter days would return.
"Another year since you left my dear Kagome. I know you didn't want to go, but it was better. At least you went peacefully." It had been hard on InuYasha these last six years. Slowly one by one those that were his friends, gradually drifted away.
"Alone, once again here I am...alone. I knew this day would come, though I did hope maybe, just maybe it wouldn't have come so soon." InuYasha said, to the headstone where they just laid his wife to rest. "I have seen many leave my side, but this time it's different. It's a hurt that I don't think will ever leave me."
It was true that InuYasha had lost many in his life. It was these losses along with him being different that made him seem cold towards others for a long time. He was born a hanyou, his father a full blood youkai. And his mother, a human. Still, had things been different between youkai and humans, it's hard to say how his life would've turned out.
"My father died the day I was born, I only had the chance to see him once for a brief moment. He told me and Sesshomaru we had done well when we destroyed the So'unga. Keh, it didn't really bother me that much seeing him. Though Kagome seemed to think it did." He smiled remembering that day sitting in the field with her. "Damn woman knew better than I cared to admit."
The breeze blew again this time stirring his long silver strands of hair. It reminded him of when he was a child. There were many times he would curl up in his mother's lap and rest. He always felt safe there as his mother would comb her fingers through his hair. He started to think about those days when he was only a child.
"It was hard growing up, as a hanyou. Though it was my mother that had it the hardest. Still mother always put on a brave face for me, but I knew. My sensitive nose could often smell her tears. She knew I was bullied and she knew what my life would be like. Sadly she also knew I would be very young when she died. I think that was what hurt her the most, knowing I would be all alone."
InuYasha closed his eyes as he tried to find sleep, at least if he slept, he wouldn't be thinking about all these old memories. Though after your heart and mind start thinking about something like this. It's hard to just stop and let your dreams take you away. So of course he failed at resting and went back to thinking.
"I was alone for many, many years. Between not fitting in, in the human world or the youkai world. You really don't belong anywhere and it's a cold and heartless world to live in for a hundred years. As the days pass you wonder why you were even born. And then as life goes on you start to understand why the fates brought you into the world." There was a small smile that formed on his face, as he remembered Kagome.
"True at first when I thought I found love, it turned tragic and it also taught me a few things about death and trust. You see, I learned that even though you think you know what you want. Kami and the fates already know what they have planned for you. And don't think you can change their minds either. The first woman I loved wasn't the one for me. Feh, yeah go on tell me I'm wrong for saying that, but it's true. There was no red string of fate, tied to me and Kikyo like many feel there was."
As InuYasha recalled his past lover, he also knew they were both still young. Their desire to be normal and find a place in this hellish world was about all they really had in common. Still no matter what he couldn't help but feel that maybe Kikyo was more in love with her dream of being a normal human woman. Then she was in love with him. Since she didn't hesitate in what it would cost him.
"True at the time I never really thought about being all human, but now I know I wouldn't have been truly happy. Even though Kikyo said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I now think back and wonder why she never allowed me into the village? Sure I wasn't really welcomed and she had her reputation as a miko to uphold. Still if you love someone, I'm talking about truly loving someone. You don't hide that."
A sickening feeling came to InuYasha as he thought about the Shikon Jewel. "And if I had used the Shikon Jewel to become a human, I now know it wouldn't have destroyed the jewel or made my wish come true. There's actually a chance that maybe I would've become possessed by those youkai in the jewel and lost my soul."
InuYasha closed his eyes and placed his right hand over his heart. "I guess in a way, the day Kikyo pinned me to the Sacred Tree with her arrow, I died. After all, a lot of hope and trust died in me on that day. How do you just let go of something you dreamed about for years. To be accepted by someone, to feel loved once more. True we didn't know at the time about Naraku or his tricks, still I learned a lot from the events that happened later on."
InuYasha never knew what was happening around him after being sealed by Kikyo's arrow. It was only fifty years later when he woke up. A voice called to him, and that's when he was able to wake up. As Kagome ran into the woods her call for help somehow lifted part of the curse. Possible due to the fact she held the same spiritual powers as Kikyo did.
"The most important thing I learned after I was awakened from that tree, was that I was meant to live for some reason. As time went on me and Kagome traveled to find the jewel shards. I not only learned about trusting again, but I learned about friendship and that I did have a place here in this world."
The sound of a bird chirping on the branch above InuYasha, caused his ear to twitch. He wondered if maybe it was Kagome's spirit keeping him company as he rested in their tree. There were many times he wondered if his Kagome had been reincarnated. If she had returned to this world in some form to keep him company on these lonely days.
"I remember well our first travels together, just me and Kagome. At first she was a little bit of a pain in the ass. Still she always tried her hardest. She wasn't from this time period, but she never left that stop her from doing her best and fighting hard. The day I saw her cry for me was what made me really think. Only my mother had ever cried for me, it was something that meant someone truly cares about you."
"Next there was Shippo. Yeah I know the little runt that wouldn't stop bugging the hell out of me. Sadly to this very day he still fucking pisses me off. And now he's the head youkai to that damn fox academy. The little shit did have plenty of practice on me after all." InuYasha gave his head a rub just behind his ear. As he remembered the many hits Shippo had given him "Still I guess he has a few good things about him, don't ask me though, because he's still a pain in my ass."
The smell of a villager passing by the tree stirred InuYasha from his past. Since the defeat of Naraku and years of living in the village. The people now saw him as more than just a protector of their village. InuYasha was part of the human village as well as his daughter and son both were when they lived here. He started to remember those days when Miroku would rub it in his face about having kids.
"Damn monk, always tell me I should have a dozen or more. It was his famous line when he joined me and Kagome, Keh, who knew I'd trust a Buddhist monk as deeply as I did him. Sure he was more perverted than he was worth, but I'm proud to say he was my friend. Miroku was like Kagome, never one to back down no matter what the cost. He would've sacrificed himself to save any of us. And for a human monk to do that for a hanyou like me, it meant a lot.
As I think back now, even though I wanted to be alone and just get the damn jewel shards myself. Actually I was enjoying the time I was having with Kagome, Shippo, and Miroku. I wasn't alone, but I still acted like a jerk. I guess it was because I didn't know how to be a friend. After all, I was alone most of my life and it just takes time getting comfortable with others."
Like all of the friends that had joined the group so far, the next held a different spot in InuYasha's heart. She was deeply hurt by Naraku, and watched her whole family die by his trickery. On top of all that she was considered dead and buried. Still she was very strong willed and even if she was gravely injured physically and emotionally, she still fought on.
"Sango and her youkai feline Kirara joined in our travels. Shortly after the death of her village and family. By the time Sango joined our little group, I didn't mind having more friends. Plus Sango was a really good fighter, and never backed away from anything. She could easily hold her ground during a hard fight, just like Kirara. I have to admit Sango felt like a sister to me after a while. We were both great fighters and she really suffered hard like me, thanks to Naraku."
As the afternoon drifted on, the winds changed and a new scent came to him. This one was of the living and he slightly growled. The voice was quiet and held no emotion as it spoke.
"Still sitting in that tree are we, Little brother?" InuYasha rolled his eyes and turned up his nose to Sesshōmaru's words. "I must say it is indeed becoming a great nuisance checking up on you. Especially when all you do is sit in that horrid spot. Why don't you come down here and show me if you still remember how to use our father's sword."
InuYasha did care about fighting and he surely didn't care what Sesshōmaru thought he should be doing. He wasn't interested in much of anything lately, all he wanted was to be with Kagome and the others once more. "Why don't you just go and visit Rin's grave for once. I'm sure she misses you more than I do."
Sesshōmaru was amused by InuYasha words. And turned to leave his brother mope where he was. 'Pathetic half breed, always dwelling on his past life with that miko.' It was then Sesshomaru had an idea. "Tell me InuYasha, do you think your mate would wish for you to suffer here day after day? She did ask me to keep you from such actions before her death."
InuYasha didn't reply to his brother's words, however he too made a promise to Rin in the same manner. With a heavy sigh, InuYasha jumped from the tree branch and landed at the foot of the tree. 'I guess if I'm just sitting here doing nothing but remembering the past. I'm not doing what I promised to Rin.' He thought, as he pulled his sword from its sheath. "Well since you insist I guess I could kill you for good today."
Sesshōmaru did turn and simply kept walking. "A worthy challenge from you, Little brother. Still there is no point, after all we both have a promise to keep. And I doubt we could keep them if one of us parishes."
InuYasha growled at his brother's words. 'Damn it, the one time I want to kill that bastard and he pulls a line like that on me.' Still InuYasha smiled when he thought these words. His Kagome was amazing. Brave enough to face his brother from day one to her last day here. And of all things asking for him to watch over him when she was gone. 'Thank you my Kagome.'
InuYasha gave a chuckle as he headed back home. He started to remember those days when Kagome would sit him for his behavior. Even though it was annoying it didn't hurt, and he knew there were times he desired it. "It was more of a fun game actually. As years went on me and Kagome would talk about that sit command and laugh about it. It was like a teenagers game of teasing, at times she wasn't angry. Though she could've fooled me."
To InuYasha even though many thought it was cruel to sit him for little things, others never really knew how he felt. "I'd give anything just to hear those words again. Maybe someday others will have something they found annoying, but would give anything to have it back again."
