So, yeah. This is getting expanded into (hopefully) a series of ridiculous Konosuba one-shots with various references, mostly movies.

As I said before, I don't own the series this is based on. Anyway, here you go.

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"BECAUSE SOMETHING IS!" the "woman" declared with a devilish smile.

Sweat began to pour down the brown-haired scoundrel's face as those words sank into his brain just like the object that was trying to sink into his buttocks.

No! Nononononononononono! NO!

This... whatever it tried to call itself was a trap! He needed to get out of her...he/she, it's disgusting embrace right now!

Desperately, he turned to his party. His loyal, faithful party.

"SAVE ME!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs, his arms reaching out for them as tears flowed freely from his eyes.

Alas, their expressions, at first dismayed, had now morphed to something that could best be described as amusement. The brainless goddess was snickering; the explosion nut whom he swore must've been the secret daughter of that explosion-obsessed movie director had her cheeks puffed up; and the crazy masochist blowing spittle from trying to restrain yourself.

"A treacherous pervert just got caught by a trap," the goddess said in between bouts of snickering.

"It's a classic element of sexual comedy," the nut added. Her face was turning red.

"What do we do?" the masochist asked.

"SAVE ME!" the scoundrel repeated. They couldn't do this to him!

The goddess perked up. "I know!" she declared. "We throw our heads back and laugh!" She turned to the other girls. "Ready?"

They shared a look, then nodded. "Ready!" they cried together.

And then they threw their heads back and began to laugh. Uproariously.

It was at that moment that nature seemed to come alive and laugh along with them. It sounded almost like monkey sounds. Where the hell were the monkeys? He saw no monkeys during the journey here. Wait-was that an orangutan on the roof of Megumin's house, pointing at him and laughing as well?!

Gaah! Nevermind, he needed to escape. Amidst the laughter of his so-called companions, he struggled to free himself from the trap's grip, but it was too strong. Wait! Maybe all that noise would attract some of the other Crimson Dorks, and one of them would find it in their hearts to save him!

But the laughter continued without anyone coming. Oh, what a cruel twist of fate. His popular phase had truly come at the worst possible time!

The goddess had fallen on her ass and was kicking her legs in the air as she guffawed at his dilemma; the brunette brat was on her knees, pounding the ground with her fist in between fits of laughter; and the masochist stayed on her feet, her arms wrapped around her belly in her mirth.

"STOP LAUGHING AND SAVE ME!" he screamed. Still, no one came, and still, the laughter did not stop.

"Um, excuse me," said a voice from above him, "but what exactly is a trap?"

He ignored the fiend and continued to beg for his life.

Their reactions were scornful, though at least they'd stopped laughing

"You threatened to defect to the Devil King, Kazutrash," the goddess sneered, getting to her feet.

"You let that thing capture you, Sleazuma," the nut added, also getting up.

"You said all sorts of shameful things about my body, Crapuma," the masochist moaned, a blush forming on her face.

"YOU ENJOYED THAT!" he shouted, indignation briefly overcoming fear. "AND I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT JOINING THE DEVIL KING! PLEASE SAVE ME!"

"And how do you expect us to do that, you shut-in NEET?" the goddess asked. "We can't try hitting her without hitting you."

"I DONT CARE IF IT HITS ME! JUST SAVE ME, DAMMIT!" he shouted.

"My Sacred Exorcism doesn't work because she's not actually a demon."

Before he could respond, the trap turned and began to run away, taking him with her.

"Sorry, but I have a job to do, and you'll make a good hostage for now," it said.

"We'll get reinforcements and then come and save you later, Kazuma," the goddess called from a distance.

"NOOOOO! SAVE ME!" he screamed one last time as his captor ran off into the night.

KAZUMA WAS TRAUMATIZED AGAIN!

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I'm pretty sure you all got that reference, and if you didn't, oh well. I'm aware that they did say they would try to save him once it was revealed that Sylvia was a trap, but given how they reacted to the reveal at the end of the second OVA, and what he'd just said, I figured they would instead take some time to laugh at his predicament before trying to save him. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope I'll actually be able to think up more than just two scenarios. If you bother to pick this up, please share your thoughts on it. See you later, I hope.