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Chapter 20

The Naked Truth

B-POV

I dropped Adrianna off at school and headed back to Edward's – or home.

My home.

It's still so strange saying that. It sounds foreign coming out of my mouth. It's not that I don't like living with Edward – that's not it at all. It's just weird to say is all. I avoid attaching 'my' to anything. It's always 'the house, the bedroom, the bed' – I guess the same was true at Jessica's, too though.

I turned down Edward's street and pulled into the same parking spot. The exact same one I pull into everyday since Edward bought this car.

It's always open and that's not by coincidence.

Most people save their parking spots by bringing random furniture from their house out to the street. They call it dibs. Things that are easy to carry – nothing ridiculously big or anything. Not Edward and purely by association only - apparently not me.

Edward says the neighborhood knows who he is and they do it out of respect.

I am thankful the spot they leave for me is up front and doesn't require parallel parking – so I guess there's that.

My parallel parking skills aren't too good. If nobody is around and I mean NOBODY, I'll give it a try. It never ends successfully, though. I can never get close enough to the curb.

So, I parked easy peasy in the spot always left for me and headed in to find Edward before he left for the day.

I was careful when I took off my shoes because come to find out pledge is not a good cleaner for wood flooring. I had Edward's whole main floor buffed into a beautiful, brilliant shiny surface that beamed in the sunlight and also apparently rivaled the slipperiness of ice-skating rinks everywhere. My dum-dum was also the cause of a mortifying tumble starring me.

Yup – feet flew out straight from under me and I landed flat on my ass. And if that wasn't bad enough – of course Edward, Emmett annnnd Jake, too were all standing there to personally witness my humiliating performance.

So – go, me.

Lesson learned – no more pledge on floors.

Edward was still sleeping when I left but I heard him shuffling around some papers at his desk now.

"Hey –" I hugged the door frame and peaked around the corner into Edward's office.

My favorite green eyes looked up from whatever he was working on. "I thought you were staying for that meeting?" He asked.

How is it Edward always hones in on the one thing you really don't want to talk about?

I swear he has a sixth sense or something.

I really didn't want to go to any more PTA meetings - ever.

I'm just gonna be honest here – the other mothers are flat out bitches.

First off – they dress like they just came from a garden party where high tea and desserts with French names are served with heirloom silver and antique china by an actual waitstaff who mind you is separate from the appointed household cooks. And second - It's not like they have that many years on me but they have a way of making me feel like a child and the sideways glances at my naked ring finger are getting old.

I shook my head and shrugged. "I think they had things pretty well figured out the last meeting." Which wasn't a lie and then I quick changed the subject. "Um – I was thinking – " I pulled out the newsletter I had in my back pocket to help explain. "Adrianna has a school thing coming up." I unfolded the paper and handed it to Edward. "It's a Grandparent's Day in her classroom but it doesn't have to be a grandparent. It could be a special someone, too – do you think maybe Esme would mind being her special someone this day?" I really hoped Esme would do this.

I thought about asking Mrs. Copes but it seemed rude to not ask Esme first. Yet on the other hand, I didn't want to just assume or seem like I was laying claim to Edward's family.

Edward chuckled. "You know Esme. I'm sure even if she had something going on – she'd cancel."

Maybe Edward could read the doubt on my face because his next words really took me by surprise. "I think you have to come to accept that I'm not the only one who considers you family."

I nodded not really knowing what to say to that. "Well…." I slowly hedged and cleared my throat because - why yes, I am a big chicken. "Would you mind calling her to ask?"

I had to RSVP back with an actual name. So, it wasn't like I could just check 'yes' and figure it out later.

Edward handed the flyer back to me. "Yeah – I'll call her tonight."

That was easy enough.

I blew out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I dashed over and peppered kisses on Edward. "I gotta go get changed." I turned his arm so I could see his watch. "I'll see you later?" It was more a question than a statement because you never really know with Edward.

"Probably late." He admitted.

Blah, blah, blah…same as the last three nights!

I gave him a sad face and he poked my nose.

I meant it in a joking way but what they say about there being some truth to every joke was so true.

I also noticed he didn't suggest plans for a future date this time. Last weekend he was supposed to make up for being away so much lately. It was even my choice. I really couldn't think of anything so I picked going to the movies but Edward got called away and got home really late. When he came to bed I pretended to be in a deep, deep sleep. He even covered me. I waited for him to fall asleep before I kicked the blankets off and over on his side. The next morning, I didn't have a whole lot to say to him either. In fact, I suddenly remembered a whole day's worth of errands I had to get done.

He knew I was pissed.

"Alrighty – " I kissed him again and scurried off to change and head out to work.

I knew Edward didn't see any point to my job.

There it is – My job

My.

Not 'the job' but my job.

It was one of the few things I could label as being mine.

In fact, I could name them all on one hand.

I had – my child, my boyfriend, and I supposed my friends and lastly my job.

That about summed up everything that was mine in the world.

Plus – I really liked the people that came in the café. It was nice to talk to adults once in a while. Not that Edward is a child – he's just in and out a lot. I'm just gonna say it – he's out more than he's in.

"Ok'" I shouted from the door. "I'm heading out!"

"Be safe." Edward called back.

It was nice driving to work and having a car and all but I missed Edward's company. The drive seemed long and fricking boring as hell without him.

I parked around back and grabbed my apron before heading in for the day.

Jessica popped around the corner just then. "Hey! Perfect timing." She said as she walked in with me.

My mood had turned glum but I tried to smile anyhow.

"Mrs. Cope asked me to say hi to you." She smiled big. "So – 'hi'!"

"You can tell her 'Hi, back'!" I had a few books I needed to return to Mrs. Cope but I wasn't going to ask Jessica to deliver them. I'd just do it myself one of these days.

I set an iced chai down for Jessica and watched a mini bottle of rum appear from her purse.

She looked over at me as she poured the rum into her drink with a very heavy hand and took a sip. "Ahhh-" She smacked her lips. "Now it's some good stuff."

"You know – " I shook my head then turned toward the back room. "eh – never mind." She wouldn't listen anyway. "I'll be right back." I hollered over my shoulder.

Fumbling with the wavering stacks of multi-colored plates I somehow managed to wrestle the rattling pile over to the counter without disaster. I always saved the green ones for whatever Edward ordered. They were my favorite – shiny and limey green just like Edward's eyes.

If he noticed he always got the same color, while Emmett got whatever he never said.

But today – even the dinnerware gave me the blues.

I moseyed back over by Jessica and leaned on the counter resting my chin in my fist.

"Weren't you going to visit your sister sometime soon?" I couldn't remember when Jessica said she'd be going.

"Yeah – not this week. Next week." She glanced over at the window to see who was passing. "Work is too busy right now. All these rich brats want their hair colored for Homecoming."

"Rich brats who have even richer moms that tip you with mucho dinero." I reminded her and looked down at the new and very expensive boots she was sporting. "Mucho dinero that buys allllll the pretty things." I smiled, then turned towards the door to see who was coming in. A sigh escaped when I saw it wasn't Edward – not that I expected it to be but a girl can hope. "Now hold that a minute - I'll be right back." When you do something long enough – you get pretty good at just knowing. The customer that came in always gets the same thing – a large coffee with cream and an apple strudel. I had it ready right quick and headed back to Jess.

I plopped my chin back on my fist and watched her take a sip. "She was supposed to come out for my parent's anniversary dinner but she canceled at the last minute." I nodded to show Jessica that I was listening. "It's just been weird. She." Jessica clarified. "She's been weird."

"I don't know." I looked off toward the window – wishing Edward would make a surprise visit. "She's married now." Jessica always seems to think everyone's life revolved around hers. "She could be busy or they could have plans together, you know – or maybe his family has something going on." I looked down at Jessica's drink. "Let me see that." I took her drink and took a sip. "Mmmm – that's good." I sipped again and giggled. "Really good."

"I know- but there's other things, too." She took her drink back and sipped on it.

So much for 'my job' today. I didn't want to be here.

I missed Edward. Plain and simple.

I had hardly seen him this week.

He doesn't even stop in the café that much anymore. In fact, Emmett and Jake stop in here way more than Edward. Even Alice comes in quite a bit.

And Jessica – well that's a given – I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes away from the window and back over at her smiling sheepishly because she knew I wasn't really listening.

"What's the matter with you?" She scolded.

"Nothing." I tried to lie.

"Come on – out with it." She prompted. "Are the other mother's still being bitches to you?" She held up her hand and spread her fingers out. "Should we give 'em five of these across where they sneeze?" She smiled big and dopey.

"No – we shouldn't" Although, I'd sure like to. "Yeah – but that's not it."

"So, see? It's something." She tapped her finger on the counter. "Just say it."

I let out a puff of air. "Edward's working late – and I just wish he wasn't." I all but pouted.

"So? Just go visit him." She suggested.

"That'd be great – if I wasn't also working." I felt like that was kind of obvious.

"Pffft – just tell Benny you gotta go." She looked across the café at Ben. "He can't stop you."

"I don't feel like fighting with Ben." Mostly I just don't have the energy right now.

She gave me a shove. "You've got this. Go." She shoved me again. "Your sword is bigger than his – this is checkmate before it even begins. Now go – make me proud."

I rolled my eyes then looked over at Ben. His back was to me.

Fine.

I marched right over. "Hey!" I roared out.

He turned on his heel quick. "Ahhhh –" He jumped. "What the - " He didn't expect to see me standing under his nose. "What the hell?"

Persuading people into doing things isn't my strong suit – and you know I've tried.

Somehow it never quite works out for me like it does Edward.

Like ever.

But I was willing to give it another go any-whoo.

Edward is just good.

Nobody ever argues with him.

He has that commanding presence.

Yes, commanding! Yes, yes -that's good.

I shall command – or at least try.

He tells them how it's gonna be and that's that.

Yes, I can do this.

"Listen." I put my hands on my hips. "It's like this – " I swallowed and frowned when Ben's attention was pulled away from me.

"I can come back if I'm interrupting?" A voice came from behind me.

I swung around.

He was a regular.

I should know his name but I got nothing right now. He's mostly Ben's regular anyway.

I didn't even hear him come in.

"Not at all." Ben moved around me to get to the front. "What's up?"

"Bella keeping you in line?" The guy joked.

Ben chuckled. "Her mouth – it's always running. On and on -" Ben mimicked me – with what he must think my voice sounds like and waved both hands in the air dramatically. "Oh my God, Ben, you'll never guess what happened? …or then every so often I get, 'fuck the world and you, too, Ben!" Ben turned to me and wagged his eyebrows. "I call her magpie – you know like one of those birds that never shuts up."

Well, this took a strange turn.

I've never seen this happen to Edward.

Asshole, Ben.

Scratch asshole – he is the whole entire effing ass!

I shook my finger at that asshole. "You just wait Benjamin…." I warned.

"Oooooo". Ben's hands flailed around in the air as his big pumpkin face mocked terror before turning and sauntering away.

That was it. "Ben, I need to see you." I snapped.

He frowned but complied.

"I'm calling it quits for the day." I stated matter of factly. I was not asking permission. I was telling him like it was.

Ben shook his head. "Not happening, Bella."

"Like you have so much to do, Benjamin." I scolded.

Ben shook his head. "You can use my full name all day – I'm not caving. It never worked for my mom and it's not gonna work now." He turned and started walking away.

"Hey!" I yelled after him. "You keep that attitude up and I'm not picking up your hours next Friday." With an exaggerated wave, I added. "Bye-bye, Dave Matthews Band!"

I wouldn't really do this to Ben but he needed some motivation.

That got his attention. Still walking away from me, he pointed to the ceiling, "The lady makes a point – and a good one at that."

Finally, he came to his senses.

His customer shouted over the counter. "Never argue with a girl, man. Learn that lesson quick." He shook his head. "Just never argue."

Jessica nodded and yelled across the cafe. "That's good advice, Ben. Try to remember it!" I tried to persuade him. "Yeah – it is and you should take it and apply it – like right now." My index finger poked him hard in his stomach.

"Ow! That hurt!" Ben rubbed his side but he gave in then. "Fine, Bella…." He turned back to me still rubbing his side. "…but you'd better remember next Friday."

I smiled. "You're the best, Ben!" I untied my apron and pulled it off – freedom felt so good. "You're still an ass, though – just so we're clear."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

I was half out the door when I turned back to Ben. "And don't worry, I won't forget." Just before I ducked out, I made a face at him and then shouted a bye to Jess. I also told her I'd call her later so we could finish talking.

It was easy enough to get to Edward's club but it took forever.

Traffic just sucked and I got caught at every single traffic light.

Every single one.

That's how it goes, though. You hit one red light and you're doomed to hit every last one thereafter.

I finally pulled into the lot and I got cold feet.

Ice cold.

It occurred to me that I had never actually been inside before.

I had been to his bar – restaurant place but not the – club.

I was aware of what kind of club.

I didn't love the idea.

Mostly I made an effort to not think about it.

Although, I do – sometimes.

Sometimes even more than sometimes.

I was curious – to a point.

I'll leave it at that.

His car was here.

That was a good sign.

It would've sucked to have come all the way over here for nothing.

I wondered - Is this even a place where girls go?

Well, that's stupid – of course there's girls in there.

Yes, but I mean aside from the obvious…. employees?

They're called strippers and so not the same thing.

I stayed in my car for a bit longer. I thought maybe I could blend in with a crowd heading inside but nobody came. I realized then that it's afternoon and I'd guess that most of the patrons came in the evening.

This is ridiculous.

Just go inside.

Wait…..was I dressed ok?

What do people even wear to strip clubs?

Nothing!

They wear nothing!

Well that's not an option…..

I looked down – I had a jean skirt on, a white sweater and tall furry boots. My skirt was short and frayed at the hem and my sweater was tight – it seemed appropriate for the circumstances I reasoned out.

I let out a breath.

Okay – I can do this.

Count to three. Simple as that.

Ok – here we go.

Ok – come on now – for real just do it already.

Okay….I'm gonna do it.

I took a deep breath.

I'm gonna start counting now.

Ok – ready?

Nope –.

I finally forced the numbers out.

One, two, three…..

I took another breath and out of the car I was.

There not so bad.

Without any more thoughts, I just pulled the door open and marched right on in.

It was dim and smokey.

Apparently, the city's ban on indoor smoking didn't include Edward's place.

I would expect nothing less.

There was a large stage and currently the only occupants were four shiny poles that, without a doubt, saw more action than Ben. There were also a few patrons drinking and talking amongst themselves.

The only thing missing were the flies.

I laughed to myself.

I wasn't really sure where to find Edward. It didn't feel right to just go stomping through the joint so I meandered over to the bar – where there was also nobody to be found.

Great.

I figured I'd wait.

I picked a stool near the far end of the bar and tried to be inconspicuous.

When the door opened again, nobody but me looked up to see who was coming in.

A tall guy that looked so familiar walked over to the other side of the room.

I waited for him to turn around.

I couldn't be positive.

He looked so much like – Oh, my God it is!

Smiling big and bright I walked over to where Riley was standing. "Hey, long time no see." I wiped my hands for no reason at all on my skirt. Well, they may have been a tad sweaty.

Riley looked around. "Small world. I come in – last person I'm expecting to see is you." Riley smiled and his gaze drops lower before meeting my eyes. "You look good, Bells." Considering the last time I saw Riley, I was eight months pregnant with an ass out to here – I can understand his surprise.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." I laughed. "You want to sit for a few minutes?" I asked and really hoped he'd say yes.

"Yeah, I gotta couple of minutes." He followed me to the far end of the bar and took the stool next to me. I wished he'd sat on the other side of me because he was blocking my view.

"So, what you been doing with yourself?" He asked genuinely interested. "You working here or just hear to pick up chicks?" He laughed at his joke.

"Oh, um no – I don't work here." I chewed my lip. "I'm waiting for someone."

Riley glanced around the club. "So is everyone else." Riley chuckled. "Be more specific."

"I'm waiting around to see Edward." I replied.

"Again, so is everybody else." Riley looked surprised. "How do you know Edward?"

"He's my boyfriend." I couldn't help the flutters inside my tummy or the dopey smile that escaped. It's crazy – he's not even in the same room and I can feel my cheeks glowing.

"Yeah? Good for you." There was an awkward pause that Riley worked to fill in. "So, you don't work here – "

I shook my head as my fingers traced the edge of the bar. "I work at a small café. It's um – yeah, it's ok." Wow – this sounded lame.

Riley chuckled. "And what went so wrong in your life you end up there - keeping the sleepy neighborhood caffeinated?"

"Eh -who knows, maybe I was a bad person in a past life." I made my eyes wide and smiled. "You know what they say about karma." This statement is more about a future 'past life', though.

"Yeah – definitely don't see that. You been there long?"

I thought for a minute then shrugged. "Not long but at the same time too long, you know?"

Not a fan of my own life story – I turned the conversation back to Riley. "How about you? You had that baseball scholarship…"

He nodded. "Yeah, well I fucked up my knee. Tore it up sliding into second. Doc said I couldn't play no more and they tossed me out like yesterday's trash." Riley shrugged. "Couldn't afford the tuition without the scholarship –so…" He tried to play it off like it was no big deal but I knew it was. In high school Riley lived and breathed baseball.

He was really good too. The year they made it to the state finals all kinds of talent scouts showed up. Riley pretty much had his pick of schools.

"Oh, God – that sucks." I genuinely felt bad.

"Could always be worse. How about you?" He picked up my left hand and rubbed my ring finger. "I pictured you'd be married with a bunch of rugrats running around by now."

Pulling my hand back, I rolled my eyes. "Not married and just one rugrat running around. And one is plenty – that's a full-time job right there."

Riley ran his hand through his hair. "Shit, I'm a total asshole – sorry. Girl - right?"

I nodded. "Adrianna." It's crazy how time just flies. "She's in pre-school now."

"Jesus, it's been that long?" Riley shook his head. "You two, you know – still talk?"

Hmmm…how to answer this now?

Edward never came out with a play by play for his part of that night. But it's not like I didn't know either. Maybe not the particulars leading up to the finale but there was no questioning the ending. I struggled with remorse – mostly not feeling a shred of it. I wondered what kind of person feels nothing at all? I didn't want to be that person but I was….am – whichever. I'm not proud of it but I have to accept it anyway.

Then one day, I decided I was being ridiculous. The past belongs in the past.

I tried to put it behind me but now here it is starring me right back in the face.

I shrugged feeling very uncomfortable. "I used to see him from time to time-" I trailed off and wanting very badly to move past this subject.

He lit a smoke. "That dickhead giving you money? I seen it on the news – he's got a big fucking stash. Whole city's looking for that prick."

Let me be very fucking clear here….

"Number one, I don't know where he is or what happened with that money – if that's what you're wondering. And number two - I have never taken two cents from him."

I have made more than my share of mistakes and went around foolishly thinking that I knew it all. When the realization that my life was not my own any more hit home, I finally smartened up. Walking into that clinic that day wasn't easy but taking the counselor's advice was the best thing I could have done.

After careful consideration, I gave Adrianna my last name and didn't list a father on her birth certificate. The counselor knew the situation and explained that it'd be easy to add a name if I changed my mind but it's incredibly difficult to have a name removed once it's been added.

Of course, there are pros and cons to every important decision in life.

Omitting James's name from her birth certificate gave him zero rights. I didn't have to consult with him on any decisions regarding Adrianna and he wasn't entitled to visitations. I would have died a thousand deaths over before I'd let him take her.

However, this also meant he didn't legally have to pay child support either. All in all that's a small sacrifice. I would forfeit that child support every day of the week and twice on Sundays if it meant he couldn't be near her. He didn't care enough to contest this in court.

"You should – you're entitled. " Riley blew a cloud of smoke in the opposite direction. "Take his ass to court – they'll take the money out of his check. He can afford it and he's lying through his teeth if he says otherwise."

I scoffed. "I don't want anything from him."

"You shouldn't be doing this alone. He should be helping you out." Riley lectured and I rolled my eyes.

"Let me put it to you this way…if the world was flooded with piss and he was sitting high and dry in the last standing tree – I still wouldn't take his help." If that wasn't clear enough – I don't know what would be.

Riley shrugged. "Maybe you're right. He's always been a little…" He pointed to his head. "…off you know?"

This conversation needed to end – like now.

I smiled tightly and agreed. "Yeah – so I've noticed."

Riley pulled back and peered at me with squinty eyes. "Why do I feel like I'm getting an edited version here?" I shrugged not really wanting to broadcast my business. Riley waited for a response that wasn't coming before leaning his head towards mine. "Flattery gets me nothing – how 'bout I kick his ass? That get me something?" He joked.

I laughed despite the whole fucking situation and shook my head 'no'.

He raised his brows and leaned in close. "Nothing, huh?"

"Nodda."

"Alright then," He wrapped his knuckles against the sparkling counter. "Listen, I gotta cut outta here but maybe you want to catch up. I don't know – we can meet up or something?"

I thought it over – this was very tempting. I hadn't seen Riley in forever. "Yeah, maybe."

"You got a number, I can give you a call."

I nodded and Riley programmed my number into his phone then called me so I'd have his before checking the time.

"I was thinking, I got something first – but what are you doing now? Let's go out. Get something to eat, catch up a little."

I hummed as I thought this out. "I don't know-" This was an easy pass. I really wanted to see Edward and I've already come this far – no way am I bailing out.

"You won't accept flattery and no ass kickin' – I'm 'oh' for two here, Bells." He put his hand over his chest. "My ego can't take another hit."

I gave in. "Ok – but I can't today." I added a stipulation. "And you're driving!"

Riley chuckled. "Ok – what day?" He rapped the counter. "I'm a doer not a sayer."

"Ahhhh," I thought for a minute. "I don't know. I'll get back to you."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." He vowed.

Now let me tell you, this kid could persuade a snowman to buy a snow cone. So, I knew he meant it when he said he was gonna hold me to it.

Riley has always been able to talk people into doing things. Even way back in middle school he'd always get his way. He would have our bus driver pass our designated stop and actually turn on to our street, stopping in front of my house first before driving another five houses down for his own curbside service. In the winter time not walking that extra half block was awesome.

Riley looked to his buzzing phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Ah – it's this guy." He explained. "I got him calling me about getting the Hemi's windows tinted."

My eyes bugged out! "Oh my God!" I squealed! "I don't believe it! You still have it!"

"Oh, my God!" Emmett raised both hands dramatically and wiggled his fingers as he mimicked my voice. "No way! He still has it!"

Jake chuckled and pulled a bar chair over. "Still has what?" He asked.

"Oh, hey!" I had no idea where they came from all the sudden but I imagined Edward would be rolling around soon – or at least I hoped.

"Riley's baby a 1969 HemiCuda in starlight black." I added. "One kick ass car." I smiled so big thinking back. "I remember the day he had this pile of scrap metal towed to his house - I 'bout peed in my pants from laughing so hard. He worked on it in his garage every day, though and it turned out so awesome."

It was a big deal for Riley. Sometimes his dad would help him out. His dad worked two jobs back then, probably still does – so I know the time they spent on the car meant something to him.

"She runs like a champ, too." He added proudly.

With a crooked eyebrow Jake looked from me to Riley and back to me. He looped his index finger in the air. "So how do we know each other?" He wondered.

"Oh, Riley lived on my block when we were kids. I've known him forever."

Jake nodded and looked over at Emmett. "Oh – ya' hear that?" Jake hooked his thumb in my direction. "She's known him forever."

I nodded and gestured toward Riley. "When we were in high school Charlie and Riley had a love-hate kind of relationship. Charlie hated Riley. And Riley loved pissing Charlie off. The whole block knew when Riley picked me up for school. His car would thunder as he flew down the street, screeching tires, back-end fishtailing as he peeled ass towards school."

This was a lame confession but…. It was so cool.

"Yeah, she eats a fucking hole in my wallet but I can't bring myself to get rid of her, you know?"

At five dollars a gallon that's way more than a hole in the wallet. If that gas guzzler was mine, it'd be beached – even if it is the coolest car ever.

Riley tapped out another smoke, then held out the pack in offering.

I shook my head. "No, I'm good."

Riley looked surprised. "What's up with that? You always bummed smokes from me?" He leaned in. "And rides." He winked. "Some things don't change, I see." Riley chuckled.

"Everyone is learning something new about Bella today." Emmett chided. "Emmett and Jake are learning new things about Bella." Emmett gestured over to Riley. "We've got Riley learning new things about Bella."

I frowned. "You're a real comedian Emmett. And by the way – where is Edward?"

Jake looked to Emmett then jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "He's in the back – he'll be out in a bit."

"In the meantime – let's get back on topic." Emmett redirected. "We were all learning new things." He eagerly reminded.

Riley's head tipped back with a good hardy laugh. "I got lots of Bella stories." Riley looked to me then. "You remember that time you, me and Ronnie was gonna break into the Jewel warehouse?" Riley rubbed his forehead remembering. "We were so fucking wasted."

"And we were…" I brought my index finger and thumb together and brought them close to my lips.

Jake and Emmett exchanged a look of surprise.

Shock and awe to be more accurate.

Jake crossed his arms and relaxed back in his chair in anticipation. "Forget confessions at church." Jake chuckled. "strip clubs – that's where you go."

Emmett looked at me. "Now, I'm gonna need to hear this story." He held up his hand. "Wait –I don't wanna miss this." Emmett ran behind the bar and poured himself a drink.

Emmett style – Jack with a shot of coke. I shuddered at the thought.

The saliva jets at the ready just thinking about it.

He took a sip and pulled another bar chair over. "I'm all ears."

I laughed. "Ok – so It was fall and like the coldest night of season."

Emmett pointed at me. "Now wait a minute – are you telling this story?" Emmett asked.

"Why, yes, Emmet – I sure am." I didn't see the problem.

"In that case – " Emmett shouted over his shoulder – where a bartender just magically appeared now. "Can we get this lady a drink over here?"

"Oh, no – I'm good." I protested.

"If you're telling the story, you're having a drink." He sipped his Jack. "I want the unedited version."

"Jessica beat you to it today." I laughed to myself. "She was in earlier, spiking drinks."

Emmett looked at me nodding and smiling knowingly. "Nice."

What he thought he knew – I couldn't say. Emmett's brain doesn't work like the rest of the world's and that's probably for the better.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine – but no more of your tummy warmers." I scolded.

Emmett burst out laughing. "I told you so." Emmett still laughing and wagging his index finger. "And per usual - you weren't in the mood to listen but I am - so start spilling!" Emmett called over his shoulder. "Oh! Where's that drink?"

Emmett handed me something brown.

I was skeptical.

I smelled it.

Not bad.

I sipped it.

Mmm – ok, kind of nice.

Really not too bad at all.

Kind of sweet, really – but not overly so.

Jake snapped his fingers. "Start singing, Shortcakes."

I took a few more quick sips and already started feeling warm. "There's not much to tell – really." I feel like this had been built up way too much. It isn't that big of a deal at all. In fact, it's pretty dumb.

Like embarrassing dumb and now I'm thankful for this drink.

"Sounds to me like there's plenty." Jake grabbed a drink too.

I let out a breath and made my eyes big at Jake. "So - Riley and his buddy were hanging out, drinking - smoking in his basement when I showed up. And they get this genius idea to break into the Jewel warehouse over in Melrose Park." I took a sip.

"How old are you in this story?" Jake asked.

"I don't know - Fifteen." I pointed to my drink. "What is this, by the way?"

Jake leaned over, took my glass and took a sip. "Captain and coke." He set my glass back down.

Emmett's impatience was growing. "Any other time we gotta put a sock in your mouth. Quit stalling and start spilling." Emmett looked to Jake and Riley. "Am I right or am I right?" He clowned.

Jake raised his glass up in agreement and Emmett tapped it with his own drink.

My eyes squinted and I made a face.

"Ok – so the plan was we'd follow the train tracks straight into their shipping yard. I'd stand look out while they went in and….." I hedged around a little bit because you never know whose ears are in the walls. "you know – rummaged around." I took another sip.

Emmett squinted his eyes at me. "By rummaged around – you mean five finger discount?" He bluntly stated.

I chewed my lip and thought that over. "I like my description better." It didn't sound so bad when I said it.

Emmett wrinkled his brows. "Your description, my description it all adds to the same thing – and that is theft, my friend."

Jake rubbed his chin and nodded along to side with Emmett. "He would be correct, Shortcake."

Truly I have no idea what they'd actually take from there. I can't imagine there'd be anything of any real value – it's a fucking grocery store.

"Are you going to let me tell this story or are you going to keep interrupting?" I was getting annoyed now.

Emmett's hands flew up like I was cop yelling, 'put you're hands up and freeze.' "Continue."

I cleared my throat and started back up again.

"So - we followed the tracks all the way through, my shoes and jeans got totally soaked from the marsh we had to wade through and I had like three inches of mud stuck to the bottom of my shoes." I gave Riley a stink eye. "And did I mention it was freezing cold outside!"

Riley laughed and picked up the story now. "Nobody told you to sit out in no man's land waiting." He shook his head remembering that night. "You thought you were so brave, gonna come and be our look out".

I shook my head. "That's only because I didn't think you'd actually do it." I shrugged. "Plus, I had a third of that bottle you brought along." I was also afraid for him. Christ, if Charlie caught him….

"Whoa there - bottle you brought along." Riley corrected. "Bells here raided her old man's liquor cabinet."

Emmet and Jake looked at each other with matching crooked brows and simultaneously mouthed, "Bells?" I've had that nickname since we were kids. I'm not sure how it became a thing – just one day Riley started calling me Bells and it stuck.

Riley added, "So, we're about a half mile out and she chickens out."

I looked at my audience. "That is very true – so I ended up sitting on a cold ass tree trunk waiting." I laughed thinking about how ridiculous all this was. "I must have smoked half a pack of cigarettes just waiting and slowly freezing to death." I mock shivered remembering. "Brrrrr…..It was like a thousand needles stabbing me all over."

Riley looked remorseful. "We never should've let you come. When we got back and you were gone, Jesus – I was so fucking scared." He laughed again. "Anything would've happened to you and – fuck. I'm sorry, Bells."

I explained a little further for Riley. "Yeah – see, I didn't last too long. Nerves and the cold finally won out. I left the bottle we had and put my glove over the top." I shrugged. "I figured they'd see my glove and know I threw in the towel."

Emmett laughed. "So, Jake – just an FYI, next time a girl you take out vanishes from a dark and remote location where corpses turn up from time to time but you find her lone glove – no need to worry, it's all good."

Jake nodded and tapped his temple. "Good to know."

Emmett took a sip. "Apparently a lone glove is the universal sign for – 'Hey, I'm okay'." Emmett took another sip. "Just ask Nicole Simpson."

Jake looked to me. "Wait – just one?"

I shrugged and sipped. "I had my reasons for just one being left." I chewed my tingling lip and giggled. "I figured it wouldn't look random. Like if I was kidnapped or something both gloves would be tossed on the ground just anywhere. This way it looked purposeful." I smiled happy with my reasoning.

Emmett pointed his index finger and dotted the air as he echoed me. "Purposeful."

Jake nodded with a half-smile and echoed Emmett. "Purposeful." He took a drink from his glass.

"So, we got Larry, Curly and Moe going out to heist a Jewel warehouse." Emmett recapped. "What are you guys after anyhow, whoopie cushions?"

Jake took a sip and tapped the counter with his index finger, "Bella is definitely Moe."

"How do you figure?" Emmett wondered.
Jake laughed to himself. "Come on, man – she's the brains of the operation. Purposeful. Don't you listen?"

I ignored all the snickering ready to get this story finished. "Well – " I wave my hand in Riley's direction. "They began a two-man search party that started at Charlie's front door. The only trouble was I wasn't there. They beat me."

Riley shook his head. "If you could've seen your dad's face when we showed up at your door." His eyes got big and sparkly. He did an awesome Charlie impersonation, "What the hell are you asking me for – she went over to your house! Get the hell off my porch and go find her!"

I laughed, glad to have missed the fireworks. "Yup – that took some fancy talking to get outta that one, that's for sure. Charlie was so pissed he didn't even notice I wasn't wearing any shoes or socks." I laughed remembering how I kept trying to stand behind something so he wouldn't see my feet.

"It's that cold - why were you barefoot?" Jake asked.

"Remember….mud. And lots of it." I demonstrated how thick it was with my fingers. "I didn't want to make the house all muddy and chance waking Charlie up while fumbling around cleaning all that slop up off the floor, so I ditched them in some random person's garbage can along the way."

"Why didn't you just take them off at your house and hide them under the bushes or something?" Jake reasonably suggested.

"That probably would have been better." I don't know – I just didn't think of it at the time. I probably had brain freeze from the Arctic weather I was stuck waiting in. I ignored Emmett when he held up his hand with his thumb and pinky up – showing the universal drinking sign.

"I'll never get how we got to your house before you did. You had – what…maybe a half hour on us?" Riley questioned?

I took a sip of my drink. "I was cold walking and it was scary on the tracks in the dark, nobody around, no lights – just nothing." I shrugged. "I figured I'd take the regular way – you know, down the sidewalks, where there's some light. I cut through an alley or two - there were dogs – big ones and then I got turned around and lost." I shrugged again. "Guess it would've been faster going along the tracks, though." I licked my oh, so tingly lips. "You know…..like the crow flies." I made my eyes big and slowly stretched out my arm like an arrow to emphasize. "Just straight." I sucked my bottom lip. "Straight. Straight like a crow."

Jake chimed in, "It's a good thing you're not Alexa when someone needs directions. 'Hey - go to the McDonald's at the corner and hang a left as the crow flies." He laughed.

Emmett eyed up my barely gone drink. "As the crow flies – huh? How about as the skunk drinks – you ever hear that one?" He erupted in hearty laughter – at least Jake and Riley tried to hold in their snickers.

"I'm not drunk." I protested. "Just a little – zippy."

Riley chimed in now. "You have to be a little more than zippy to use a word like zippy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I seriously was not wasted. Not even close.

"Hey!" Riley laid his hand over his heart. "I'm not saying…" He laughed. "I'm just saying."

"Bella - " Edward barked from somewhere towards the back and I nearly jumped out of my seat.

There was a pause as I was waiting for Edward to finish. Jake slowly tipped his head in Edward's direction – signaling I should go but when I stood up, my balance was a little off and I rocked back on my heels.

"Whoa-" Jake caught my elbow. "You all right there, shortcakes?"

I waved him off. "I'm good."

I could still hear Emmett's low chuckle as I passed by him, "Sure - just ask the skunk."

Really - I was fine.

Not drunk.

Just zippy.

For sure zippy.

As I made my way over to Edward, the bartender walked over to where we were sitting and I heard him scold, "Now you done it." He wasn't talking to me so I turned back to see and noticed that the table had gotten very quiet now.

I smiled up at Edward and explained. "Hey, I came to visit."

Edward spoke much louder than me. "Visiting…." Edward nodded and looked around but his sharp eyes landed on Riley. "Who?" He gestured to himself. "Me?" His smile was forced and tight.

I didn't realize I was biting my lip until I started talking. "I didn't know where to find you – so I just waited."

"You could have texted." He suggested.

"Well I was waiting, like I said and Riley came in and we started talking-"

Edward cut me off. "So, you two know each other." His eyes glowed as if a fire stormed behind them. "Lucky me." The sarcasm was thick and impossible to go unnoticed.

Edward was watching something behind me now, so I turned to see Jake walking this way.

He looked at Jake but spoke to me. "My office is the one on the left. Shut the door, I'll be right there." Edward instructed.

So, I went to his office. I could kind of make out that he was talking to Jake but it was too faint to catch any words. I didn't want to get caught with my ear to the door so, I just kind of stood in the middle of the room looking around when I focused in on a wall of High def. TV's. My eyes quickly scanned the live screens and couldn't help but notice the screen featuring my empty seat.

What the hell –

This whole time he's known I was sitting there waiting.

The whole time!

And now here I am – all zippy for nothing!

The door knob turned and I quick spun around and purposely turned my back to the live screens.

It didn't seem like my visit was going over well. In fact, I'm not sure this was a good idea at all. "So, this is your work place?" I wondered before he could say anything more.

Edward let out a single chuckle. "My place of work is anywhere the work is." He shut the door behind him and I noticed his mood seemed to have lightened a bit. I wondered what he and Jake talked about.

I pushed a little more. "But is this where you do all the things?"

He chuckled at my vagueness but I really have no idea what all 'the things' even are.

He volunteered jack squat. "Most of the things."

Typical answer.

I squinted my eyes at him and pursed my lips. "Always so mysterious, Edward Cullen."

I was surprised when he began to elaborate.

"Mysterious and..." He pointed his index finger and let that hang there before adding, "…purposeful." He crossed his arms and seemed to find my growing anticipation amusing. "It seems we have an unexpected addition to the agenda today." He paused and the corners of his mouth tilted up into the cutest smirk. I had no idea where he was going with all of this but I was all ears.

Edward never volunteers anything.

I mean nothing – ever!

His brows made a mock frown. "So… everybody is learning new things about Bella today – even Edward." He playfully winked.

Not what I expected at all!

My mouth fell open.

My eyes immediately shot over to the TV monitors which also apparently had audio - I cleared my throat. "Come again?" I asked feeling my cheeks begin to warm.

Edward's head tilted back and he laughed silently at what appeared to be a very inside joke with himself.

"Come on – what's so funny?" I demanded but it came out kind of whiny.

"Nothing – nothing." He shook his head and laughed to himself again. "I'm straight – " He laughed harder now and rested his hand on his stomach. "…straight as the crow flies." He whistled while he shot his arm straight out.

When my mouth fell open this time, I couldn't stop the fit of giggles that erupted. "Come on-" I laughed out. "It's a real thing." I crossed my arms and stamped my foot. "And shame on you for spying!" I was more embarrassed than mad.

"My eyes are everywhere." He reminded me. "Besides – I wasn't…" He made air quotes. "spying." He tilted his head with way too much amusement in his eyes. "I was multi-tasking." Edward clucked his tongue and booped my nose with his index finger. "Now – to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" He crossed his arms as he leaned against the edge of his desk waiting. He was so hot just sitting there like that - I wanted to jump him.

Badly.

I let out a puff of air and tried to put all the things I wanted to do with him out of my head, "I missed you." I shrugged because that was all there was to it. "Sometimes I try to picture you when you're at work but it's hard since I've never been." It's hard not to feel like there's something wrong with me – like maybe I embarrass him.

He held out his hand and I went to him. "Everything I do – or don't do, it's meant to protect you. I have enemies – enemies everywhere that would love nothing more than to hit me where it'd hurt me most. And that's you." His glittery eyes were like magnets. I couldn't look away from them.

They were electric with a light all their own as they flickered with an untamed wildness that pulls you in – closer and closer.

Mesmerizing.

Every chance Edward gets, he finds a way to warn me yet despite his warnings my heart remained fiercely loyal. "I love you." Those three itty bitty little words didn't seem near enough to express all I felt for Edward but they'd have to do.

"And I love you." He palmed my cheek. "Come here." His voice was low but thick as he reached for my hips to close the gap between us and kissed the corner of my mouth. I stood between his legs and let my fingers play with his hair as he rested his forehead against mine. His eyes rolled closed and his head swayed with my fingers.

He smelled so good – crisp and clean and spicy. I inhaled so big and wondered if he'd mind if I just rubbed myself all over him - to keep his scent with me. I found myself breathing deeper to take in more of Edward.

His scent… his smoldering eyes….his voice – like velvet

All of it.

All of Edward.

Intoxicating.

His head dipped low and he kissed me; sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and making my heart flutter. I tried to control my breathing by slowing those quickened breaths but all I succeeded in doing was making my head feel light and dizzier.

He broke the kiss and I could see his eyes – now two dark orbs. "Mmmm - vanilla-" He kissed my mouth again and slowly licked his bottom lip. "Captain and coke?" He asked his soft lips moving down my neck to my collar bone sending tingles down my spine.

All I could do was moan.

My body pressed into him and I could feel his heartbeat thundering against my own.

His hands dropped to my bare thighs and a small gasp escaped my lips. I could feel his breath on my neck as his fingers slowly traced circles upward until he hedged under my skirt – and I thought I'd burst into flames. Edward grabbed my swiveling hips, stilling them in mid-sway and rocked his hardness against me. I wanted him so badly. The growing ache between my legs was so intense, I tried to rub my thighs together to soothe the throbbing but that did little to help.

My head tilted back giving him free reign but a noise from somewhere out in the club snapped me out of the thick haze of lust Edward had ignited. "Edward-" I warned and panted. "….don't start something you can't finish." It was physically painful to even say that when every part of my body ached to be closer to him.

His eyes never left mine as his hands slowly slid under my skirt and up my bare legs. "I fully intend on finishing."

I panicked a tad. "What? Here?" My eyes shifted to the TV monitors – all were accounted for but I'm sure there're others around. "What if someone comes in?" I spoke in a rushed whisper.

"Nobody's coming in." He was gradually sliding my skirt up and my traitorous hips, with a mind of their own, gradually rocked back and forth – helping him along.

I wasn't so sure. "But what if they do?" I looked over at the door. Anybody at any time could come barging on in.

"So what?" His nose skimmed my bare neck. "Let 'em watch." Edward kissed me hard and walked me backwards until my back was flush against the door. The door thumped loudly from the weight and when he pressed his body against mine the door rattled with his movements.

His right arm snaked around me and I heard him flip the lock. "Happy?" He asked against my lips.

Edward had me pinned against his door with his perfect body – happy would be a huge understatement.

He dropped to his knees and kissed up my inner thigh, my hands rested in his soft hair. The door rattled with my movements now as my hips swiveled seeking a friction to press against. I'm sure the sounds carried out to the bar area but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Edward didn't seem to care so why should I?

I was too far gone anyway.

His fingers slid up my legs and pulled my damp panties down. I ached for him to touch me and eagerly stepped out of them.

He stood and claimed my mouth; his tongue tangling with mine. His fingers slipped between my legs and I swallowed his groan when he felt how ready I was.

He was already undoing his pants when he asked. "Can I have you?" His voice was a ragged whisper and when he nibbled my earlobe it sent tingles down my spine. When he asks permission like that – his head may as well be between my legs – his lips to mine.

His words made my thighs quiver and sent electric tingles charging through my body, coursing through my veins and spreading a heat like no other between my legs.

That's the kind of effect it - he has on me.

"I'm yours." I whispered with absolute certainty. My body, my heart – answer to him alone.

He groaned into my neck and hoisted me up as he pressed his forehead against mine. His green eyes had my brown ones locked and I couldn't look away if I tried. "Say it again."

My legs squeezed around his waist trying to pull him closer to where I needed him. "Jesus – yes " He was taking too long. I needed him so badly - it was so hard to think. "I'm yours." The words weren't even out of my mouth when he entered me. "Oh, God-" I gasped as his warm electricity quickly trailed through my body and the walls within me instinctively constricted around him.

His head rested on my chest, the veins in his neck were visibly strained and I could feel the warmth of his heavy breaths through my thin sweater. I couldn't stop my hips from gently rolling forward as my inner walls tightened around him begging him to move.

"Jesus – " His hands grasped my hips hard and he spoke into my chest. "keep that up and you're going to make me come."

I could hardly breath anymore – it felt like I would combust if he didn't start moving. "I can't help it – I just need you." I whimpered as my hips circled with intent this time. "So badly. Please –" I had no shame in begging.

"Come here." Edward lifted his head and claimed my mouth, his now racing heartbeat matched my own as his hips began to slowly move.

My arms wrapped around Edward's shoulders tightly but with my feet dangling in the air at his waist I was at a bit of a disadvantage yet Edward had no qualms about doing all the work. He slid me up and down and easily kept a fast pace in perfect rhythm.

The door bounced with every thrust and the harder Edward's hips crashed into mine the louder it was.

He buried his face in my neck and grunted each time I came gliding down on him.

"God, just –" My legs tightened and my fingers dug into his shoulders – "So close-" I was absolutely breathless and could barely pant the words out. "so close-"

Edward pumped harder until complete euphoria had washed over me. I moaned when my orgasm poured over and Edward's was quick to follow.

Edward set me down and when my feet touched the floor my legs felt like jell-o. Edward pressed his hands against his door, framing me in while we both caught our breath. He leaned in and kissed my lips sweetly then he zipped his pants and walked to what seemed to be a closet. "Here, this shirt is old." He used it to wipe the wetness spilling down my inner thighs then helped me get put back together.

I tried to fix my hair so I didn't look as tossed as I felt.

Edward came up behind me and snaked his arms around my middle. "You look sexy." I leaned back on him and he squeezed me tighter.

While I appreciated the comment, I was secretly thankful there wasn't a mirror to contradict.

Edward opened his office door and let me pass first. He stepped back over to his desk to grab his phone as I was making my exit. I turned to wait for him there at the threshold but three pairs of overly made eyes peering down from the other end of the hallway caught my attention.

Overly made eyes and barely clothed bodies.

I tried not to stare but it was hard not to.

They were really beautiful.

Really fake but really beautiful and in perfect shape.

When they heard Edward approaching the door they jumped and quickly started up a conversation amongst themselves but I could still feel their eyes glancing curiously over.

Edward shut the door behind himself and turned to me. "Damn those boots are vicious." He lifted his shirt and turned to look at his side. "Tore my shit up." There were big red scratch marks from the hooks on my boots. Some were really thick and even bleeding a little.

My mouth forced it's corners up and I quirked an eyebrow. "Purposeful." I didn't joke as I chewed the corner of my mouth.

Edward looked out at the table where everyone was still sitting and kissed my mouth long and hard, my arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. His hands slid up my sides and then tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck. He broke the kiss and leaned low, locking my eyes on to his. "Very purposeful." His smile looked more like a leer as he grabbed my hand and headed over to where I was previously sitting.

My lips felt swollen – both sets actually and my legs felt bowlegged but I did my best to pretend like I didn't have the most mind-blowing sex just minutes ago. "Hey – " I squeaked out as I took my empty seat and Edward walked behind the bar. I listened to Riley talk cars with Jake and Emmett as I watched Edward pour and finish a drink before pouring another and then walking over to stand behind me. "Talk about a motley crew." He eased some of the tension. "So, what's good – what's going on over here?" Edward asked.

"Well – everyone's learning new things about Bella." Jake nodded over at me and my stomach flipped.

Oh, Dear God

I wondered what more everyone had learned while I was away.

Edward chuckled. "So, I've heard."

Jake and Emmett both snickered and I had the distinct feeling they already knew that Edward knew and more to the point how he knew. Which would explain the look they gave each other earlier when I asked where Edward was.

I pursed my lips and gave them the stink eye.

"Alright – I'm gonna cut outta here." Emmett grabbed his drink and made his way towards the back. It didn't escape my attention that Emmett was on the same path one of the strippers had disappeared down. The looks they exchanged also didn't go unnoticed and all of the sudden I felt very sad for Rosalie.

Edward lit a smoke. "You're gonna take a walk with me." He said to Riley.

"Yeah – cool." Riley scooted his chair back. "I'll catch ya' later." He said to the table but more to me.

I sort of waved and tried to smile but bile rose up in the back of my throat.

I looked over at Edward his dark eyes burned into mine as I silently tried to plead with him. Just like all those years worrying about what Charlie would do to Riley – now it was Edward.

Riley walked away with Edward and I felt nervous so I looked to Jake. "Where do you think he's going?"

"Relax, Shortcakes – just boys talkin' shop." Jake responded.

There was some relief in his words but I wasn't totally sure. I wanted to believe Jake but on the other hand his loyalties are with Edward not me and he would do or say what he was told.

Jake and I talked some more.

I got to hear some Jake stories – which were pretty funny.

When Edward came back Riley wasn't with him. He had his keys in his hand. "Come on – you hungry?"

"A little maybe…." I really wasn't.

We said bye to Jake and headed out. Edward shut the passenger door for me then went around the car to let himself in.

I played with the radio then turned it off all together. "Did you hurt him?" I just blurted out what was on my mind.

There was a pause before he finally answered that made me feel uneasy. "No." Edward answered. "He works for me – "

I hadn't realized Riley worked for Edward but that would explain why he was there. Jake may have been right – just talking shop.

I studied Edward's profile, then his hands before deciding that he was being truthful.

I thought about mentioning Emmett to Edward but decided that maybe I was wrong about what I saw. I didn't want to make trouble for anyone.

I thought about it some more and decided that I wasn't wrong.

I thought about Rosalie.

Then I thought about me.

"You didn't like me visiting – did you?" I figured I'd ask.

Edward glanced over at me. "I love any opportunity to see you." He took my hand. "Usually people come see me – they want or need something." His thumb rubbed over mine. "It was nice having someone come just because." He pulled up to a curb and when I looked up, we were at Rosebuds.

I loved this place.

"Well technically that's not accurate." I contradicted. "There was something I was wanting too." My cheeks heated up thinking about it.

He leaned over and kissed me. "Apples and oranges." He laughed as the valet walked up for the car.

We went in and I ended up being hungrier than I thought. I also ended up having an awesome time with Edward.

He drove back to the club and walked me over to my car.

I reminded him to call Esme and I was surprised when he said he already did and that she'd gladly attend the Grandparent's Day event for Adrianna.

That took a big load off.

I kissed Edward before I left and he said he'd do what he could to get home a little earlier.

That was good enough for me – for today anyway.

Till Next Time, Friends

~Xx

A/N

Riley, although unintentionally at first, is largely based on someone I knew once upon a time. In the spring of 2020, he overdosed and passed. He will forever be missed.

Rest in Peace

M.R.

I'll never forget

Always,

~C

Sadly, another friend from a life time ago passed. Although he doesn't appear in this story, he'll always remain a part of me.

Regrets don't disappear but people do – a lesson to remember.

Rest in Peace

E. F.

So sorry

~ C

In February my world was shattered - my best friend had a suicide attempt. She was code blue upon arriving at the hospital but by the grace of God, she was able to be revived.

She is full of light, funny and witty, lighthearted and very much the extravert – never would I think she'd consider suicide. The bloody scene in the kitchen is etched in my memory forever. The road to recovery has been long but she's on the right path.

Please check on your friends and family – always.

~C