A/N: Ok, there are probably a million different ways I could've written this last flashback chapter, and this was definitely not the way I initially thought things would play out.
However, I needed this for my mental health. So you can judge me all you want, but this story is dragging me down and I needed to lift myself up. OOC? Maybe, I don't know. Let's find out. At least I had fun with it.
I present to you: Overtired and slightly tipsy and inappropriate Rolivia.
TW: Implied ED (very short mention)
Set after S22E12 - In The Year We All Fell Down.
Passion Pit – Carried Away
Tatiana Manaois – Helplessly
CHAPTER 26 - MARCH 2021
"Let someone take care of you."
Only when she steps into her building does Olivia pull the phone out of her pocket to call her, even if it's just to get the comfort of hearing her voice for two minutes. And that's when she sees the missed calls and finally hears the voicemails left for her all those long hours ago. With a heavy heart she listens to the detective's messages, and when she finally locks herself in, she's not at all surprised to find Amanda on her couch. She is however a little surprised to find her like this.
The blonde is currently stretched out with a washcloth thrown over the upper half of her face, and holding a beer in her hand. "Hey." She simply says without removing the cloth.
"I literally just listened to your messages." Olivia responds as she removes her coat. "Honey, I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there. Are you ok?" Honey? That was new. Do we say that now? Huh.
"Are you?" Amanda asks, finally peering up at her. "What the hell happened today?"
"Covid happened. 2020 happened." The captain sighs as she throws her arms out, as if the other woman is supposed to understand what she meant by that. "Is Noah asleep?"
"Yeah, Lucy had just put him to bed when I got here."
"She didn't wonder why you showed up?"
"I mean, she knew you had a… situation today, so I just told her I wanted to check in."
"I think she's onto us."
The blonde bites down on her lip then. "Do you care?"
"Not really." Olivia shakes her head. "I'm just gonna go check on him and change. I'll be right back."
Amanda simply waves her off as she closes her eyes and pulls the washcloth back down.
"Please tell me that's for me." The brunette says with a pleading voice when she slumps down on the couch ten minutes later.
"No, it's Carisi's. He's in the shower."
"Waiting for us?" Olivia smirks while grabbing the glass of red wine and lifts it up to her mouth, closing her eyes for a short moment as the familiar sent reaches her nostrils.
"Yup." The blonde nods as she removes the damp washcloth and drops it on the table. "Ready when you are, babe."
Olivia chuckles tiredly as she falls back against the cushions and motions for Amanda to lift her legs and place them in her lap. "Tell me about your dad."
"Well, at least he's resting, not drinking, and he looked comfortable enough when I left him. Jesse and Billie are staying with my mom, and I honestly don't know if I'm more worried about them or him right now."
The captain gives her a sympathetic smile with a hint of sadness as she gently rubs her foot with one hand while clinging to the glass with the other.
"Oh, more of that, please." Amanda makes a humming sound of approval before she takes a swig of her beer.
"Have you eaten?" Olivia asks.
"Mhm." The blonde lies. "Got my hands on some shitty hospital food. What about you? I should've fixed you something."
"I'm all set with my red, liquid dinner right here."
"Solid adulting, Captain Benson." Amanda gives her a sarcastic thumbs up, knowing full well that she's being a major hypocrite without the other woman realizing it.
"Was anyone with you in the hospital?"
"Yeah, Carisi."
Olivia opens her mouth to say something, but she goes for the wine instead, effectively shutting herself down.
"What?" The detective asks, not missing a beat despite her tired state.
"Nothing."
Amanda nudges Olivia's thigh with her foot then. "Come on."
"Is there… something going on bet-"
"Liv! No. Absolutely not. He's just a friend."
"Pretty sure he's got a crush on you."
"Hey, can you blame him?" Amanda says jokingly as she moves her hand up and down, gesturing towards her own body which is currently dressed in Olivia's dark grey sweatpants and an oversized NYPD T-shirt.
"Whit this body? And this face?" She points to her slightly flushed cheeks and her puffy eyes, her make up completely washed away by all the tears she has shed during the day.
"Actually I can't. You're beautiful." The captain's face is dead serious when she looks at her.
"Hah! Sure. And don't get me started on my bubbly personality."
"Hey, you do have a few things going for you."
"Yeah?"
"I've seen you work that paper shredder in the squad room." Olivia grins.
"My one true skill." Amanda nods proudly.
"And guns. Man, can you handle a gun."
"You've made it pretty clear how you feel about that."
They share a look as they both take a trip down memory lane, thinking back on a certain visit to the shooting range that ended with an unexpected, but definitely much appreciated quickie in Olivia's car.
"Was that out of line?"
"Hm?"
"Me, telling you about your promotion and then… our little celebration afterwards?"
"Hey." Amanda says as she holds up a finger. "That was the best car sex I've ever had, please don't turn it into some ethical dilemma bullshit. Besides, you promoted me before the sex."
"Amanda Rollins." Olivia says with a stern voice as she smacks her playfully on her outstretched leg.
"I think it's safe to say we've been a conflict of interest since day one, Liv."
"I guess you're right." The brunette shrugs before emptying her glass and reaching for the bottle to give herself a refill. "It's not the worst conflict of interest I've been in."
"Aww, you're such a romantic."
"That's my one true skill."
Amanda reaches for her phone then and connects it to Olivia's speaker, finding the playlist that has somehow turned into a compilation of songs that reminds her of them, unbeknownst to the brunette who is still gently rubbing her feet.
"So… Wanna talk about today?"
"I don't know." The captain mumbles as she taps her fingers against the glass.
"Were you scared?"
"Not really. More sad. Sad for her, for her situation, and for all the heartbreak that covid has caused." She falls silent while moving her fingers slowly up and down the stem.
"Fuck covid."
"Yeah." Olivia scoffs. "Fuck covid."
"Hey, wanna hear something hilarious?" Amanda asks as she gets up from the couch and moves towards the kitchen to get a new beer.
"Please."
"I met my new stepmom today."
The captain looks over her shoulder with her eyebrows raised. "Your stepmom?"
"Yup! Amberlynn Rollins, in the flesh."
"Congratulations?"
"Thanks. It was the one thing missing in my life, really." Her voice is thick with both sarcasm and disdain as she gets comfortable on the couch again, wiggling her feet a little to let the other woman know that her foot massage isn't quite over yet.
"How was she?"
"Young enough to be my daughter if I hadn't known what a condom was back in 1995."
"You know, when you say it like that… this," Olivia gestures between them, "doesn't sound much better. I mean, I already had years in my uniform when you were busy losing your virginity."
"Hey, are we trash talking my new stepmama or us?"
"Your stepmama." The brunette says with a sigh, perfectly mimicking the detective's southern drawl.
"Thank you." Amanda nods triumphantly. "So, she comes in there, it's so obvious that she's just looking for some financial win. But don't worry, I scared her away, and she's not coming back."
"Do I even wanna know what you did?"
"Nope."
"Ok, then."
So, she doesn't pry. And Amanda is clearly done talking about the family that regularly comes back to absolutely exhaust her. To underscore just how done she is with talking all together, she lifts herself up, beer still in her hand, and moves to straddle Olivia.
"Hey." She smiles softly.
"Hey yourself."
"I missed you today."
"I missed you, too."
They both sink into the kiss immediately, like their lips meeting is the only thing that can somehow wash away the stress of this awful, awful day. Amanda breaks the kiss to take a sip of her beer before she leans in and moves her mouth up Olivia's neck, biting down gently on her earlobe.
"Do that thing you did in your car."
"Take of your shirt."
Olivia smiles when Amanda's breasts comes into view. "God, you're so gorgeous."
"I'm actually disgusting after spending the entire day in a hospital, but keep going."
"No, I mean it, Amanda." The brunette says, her expression leaving no room for any arguments. "You're beautiful. Just like this." She kisses her neck first before she moves her way down until she reaches the top of her breast.
"Keep it down."
"Yes, ma'am."
She's almost able to not make a sound at all when Olivia closes her mouth over her nipple, while finally moving her hand inside Amanda's underwear. Only a few stifled whimpers and moans manage to escape and other than that, there's just a lot of heavy breathing.
"Like this?" Olivia mumbles against the hardened nub while she slowly moves her fingers from the blonde's entrance and up to firmly brush over her clit.
"Yeah." Amanda breathes out as she reaches behind her back to put the bottle down on the table. She leans back in, holding onto Olivia's head, while rocking her hips rhythmically against her hand. "Just like that."
Just like that. Because Olivia just gets it. By now, she knows every single line, stretchmark, dimple and freckle, and definitely all of her most sensitive parts. She might've not said it out loud yet, but every look, stroke of the finger and flick of the tongue, is another "I love you" and it's exactly what Amanda needs to reach that delicious high, reserved for her and Olivia only.
She smiles while resting her forehead against the brunette's as she's soothed down after her mostly silent orgasm.
"I need a shower. Join me?"
"Mhm. Carisi is probably tired of waiting." Amanda jokes, still slightly out of breath.
"Funny. You're really funny."
"Funny, good with guns and a master at paper shredding, what more can you want?"
"Nothing." Olivia smiles before placing a quick peck on Amanda's lips.
Once inside the shower, the captain watches as Amanda gets down on her knees and starts kissing her way up the brunette's legs. "Fuck…"
"That's the plan." Amanda agrees before her tongue comes out to trail over the wet skin on Olivia's upper thigh. "Think you'll have to cover your mouth for this." She says as she lift's the other woman's left leg over her shoulder.
"Wh- Oh, shit!" A hand comes flying over the brunette's mouth as Amanda swiftly enters her with two fingers right before she leans in and captures her clit with her mouth. Olivia's other hand comes down almost immediately, clinging to Amanda's wet hair, pushing her closer.
"Can't breathe." The blonde mumbles when the grip on the back of her head makes it impossible for her to catch her breath.
"What?" Olivia asks followed by a moan.
"Air."
She lets go abruptly and looks down at her with worried eyes. "Oh, shit, sorry."
"It's ok." Amanda giggles while smiling up at her. "I like it when you do that."
"Didn't mean to strangle you… But, don't stop."
"Oxygen is so overrated anyways."
What Amanda is currently doing with her mouth and her fingers is nothing short of amazing, but after several minutes, Olivia knows that she just won't be able to reach a much needed climax tonight. As frustrating as it is, her body sometimes refuses to cooperate and this is, much to her dismay, one of those times.
"Wait… stop."
"What's wrong, babe?" Amanda asks gently before she kisses her lower belly. "You can't come?"
"It's not you."
The detective carefully extracts her fingers and lifts herself up. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Brush my teeth and carry me into bed?"
The blonde smiles as she reaches behind the woman in front of her to rinse her hands under the hot running water. "Honestly, I feel like me brushing your teeth would be more unethical than you doing me in your car after promoting me."
"Amanda!"
"Sorry, sorry, I meant when we made sweet, gentle love after a very romantic date."
"Much better." The brunette snickers.
"You want me to sneak out in the morning before Noah wakes up?" Amanda asks timidly while getting settled under the covers. "It might confuse him that I'm here without the girls."
"I wish you didn't have to."
"It's what we do best, isn't it?" The blonde shrugs before she motions for Olivia to turn on her side so she can spoon her. "But I'm here now. For the next six hours, I'm all yours."
"Let someone take care of you."
Oh, if you only knew, chief, Olivia thinks, smiling contently when she feels Amanda place a final goodnight kiss to her shoulder.
A/N: So, here's the thing. I know we don't get to see much of this, but I do think that both Liv and Amanda are capable of a little humor instead of just being tired and sad all the time. And I also wanted to write a chapter to show them making each other laugh while taking care of each other after a really rough day. And like I said, I needed a little break from the awfulness.
Ok, who's ready for chapter 27 and find out what happened after Amanda was found?
