Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, or any other franchise in the Riordanverse. I do not own any of the characters from the Riordanverse or Greek Mythology. All bolded text is from the book and I do not own that either. I just own my writing and some of the reactions.

Please don't take down my story.


I will be updating as soon as possible. Writing reactions are easy but annoying. I'll try me best. I only publishing this cos of half term and real school is starting soon. It depends on my schedule and/or mood.

Luke is probably not going to get a redemption arc. I could forgive everything but he groomed Silena. Fuck him.


Zeus sighed wearily, scowling down at the book.

He hated this. He didn't want to read about some demigod up-start who apparently 'has such a horrible life'. Psh. Have they ever toppled a titan lord? Didn't think so.

"1 - I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER" Zeus readout. That earned some looks.

"How do you accidentally vaporize your pre-algebra teacher?" asked Hermes in confusion. But Percy just waved him off with an impatient hand gesture.

"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."

"Who does?" Luke muttered bitterly. The demigods around him gave noises of agreement. Chiron looked grim. The gods exchanged concerned glances.

"If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:"

"Duck and run for cover," Future-Annabeth smirked.

Silena arched a perfectly manicured brow. "Wait why?"

"He gives straight-up crap as advice."

Percy rolled his eyes. "I'm just lucky Thalia and Nico aren't here. They'd make a whole dam scene with it."

"Nico?" Hades asked softly, as if not believing it.

"Thalia?" asked Past-Annabeth timidly. "But how-"

"Spoilers," Future-Annabeth sighed, glaring at Percy for letting something slip.

Zeus' heart gave a leap. His daughter was coming back! Hera's lip curled into the ugliest sneer you had ever seen.

"close this book right now. Believe what-ever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life."

Future-Annabeth frowned. "That's not half bad. It would work up until you're in middle school for the powerful kids. Maybe even high school for the less so."

Percy gave a mock bow. "I'm glad someone appreciates my brilliance."

"Being a half-blood is dangerous."

"Check," Travis piped up.

"It's scary."

"Double check," Connor added.

"Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."

"Triple check!" The Stolls said together.

Hermes grinned. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!"

All three yelped in unison as they got hit over the head.

"If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened."

"Don't we all," Katie mumbled.

"But if you recognize yourself in these pages - if you feel something stirring inside - stop reading immediately. You might be one of us."

"One of us! One of us!" The Stolls chanted.

Chiron sighed. "That is the last time I let you watch Toy Story."

"You'll let us keep the movie projector though, right?" Beckendorf frowned.

"And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you."

"Geez, dark," Apollo muttered. The demigods shot him looks like 'you have no idea'.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Don't!" Silena snapped before either Stoll could say anything. Thanks to the charmspeak, their mouth snapped shut with an audible 'clop'.

"My name is Percy Jackson."

"No, it's Peter Johnson," Dionysus called from behind his magazine. Percy felt laughter bubble up his throat, some things would never change.

"I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.

Am I a troubled kid?"

"Yes, Seaweed Brain, you are." Future-Annabeth grinned, snuggling closer to him. Athena frowned at the closeness her daughter had to this boy.

"All half-bloods are, " Hera sneered. She was surprised to get some agreement from said half-bloods she was supposed to be insulting.

"Just eat cereal," Demeter muttered.

"Yeah. You could say that."

"You weren't supposed to agree!" Clarisse laughed.

Percy smirked. "What do you want me to do, lie?"

Poseidon felt a sting of dread for his son, who he knew was right now twelve years old and going to Yancy Academy, and also called Percy Jackson.

"I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it,"

"Miserable?" Poseidon asked quietly.

Percy shot him a sad smile. "Not anymore."

"but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff."

Athena and Annabeth's eyes lit up. "That sounds-" Athena began.

Percy and Poseidon made a face. "Boring!" Poseidon cut in, so Athena glared at him.

Hades huffed a laugh at their antics. He didn't know why he enjoyed it so much but it just felt...normal? Petty rivalries, kind of like a family should be. Without cheating, kidnapping, exile, etcetera.

"I know - it sounds like torture."

Athena frowned. How could her daughter be close to this boy who doesn't even appreciate museums?

Artemis rolled her eyes. Just another man who didn't know how privileged he was. Whilst girls had to fight for education, this boy was complaining about it.

Hades cocked an eyebrow. That was what people considered torture? Has this boy met his furies?

Katie glared at both Stoll before they could do anything.

"Most Yancy field trips were.

But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons,"

Incredulous eyes turned to Chiron who smiled mysteriously. He hadn't made a house call in centuries.

Athena frowned. "'Roman'?" She spat the word out angrily.

"It's Latin class, Lady Athena, not Greek." Chiron soothed.

"so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep."

Athena expected her daughter to at least chide this boy for wasting his education, but she just laughed. Laughed. Athena decided she definitely disapproved. This boy was a very bad influence.

"I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble."

Getting in trouble, falling asleep in class, this boy was really of the worst sort. Athena couldn't see how her daughter could stand someone like that. Athena certainly couldn't. There was a reason she had a rivalry with Poseidon.

"Boy, was I wrong."

"How often do you get into trouble?" Apollo asked interested.

Percy grinned. "You'll see,"

"See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway."

That got a burst of laughter.

Ares' eyes lit up at the explosion. "Finally, something interesting."

"Why would it still work?" Aphrodite asked, looking up from her nails.

Hephaestus frowned. "It was probably real and untouched from the battle but sectioned off. He probably wasn't supposed to go back there, dear." He told her. Aphrodite nodded along with his explanation, slipping her hand into his from her throne.

"Is he yours?" Artemis asked Hermes, trying to keep a straight face.

Hermes shook his head and grinned. "I wish,"

Luke felt a scowl grow on his face. He didn't want Cabin 11 to be even more crowded.

"And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim."

"Either of yours?" Demeter asked Apollo and Dionysus, who shook their heads through laughter.

"I love this kid!" Hermes declared. Luke felt a bubble of jealousy.

"And the time before that... Well, you get the idea."

"Noooo!" Apollo and Hermes yelled. "Tell us more!"

"This trip, I was determined to be good."

Future-Annabeth snorted and turned to Percy.

"I know, I know. I jinxed it," Percy sighed.

"All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich."

Percy, Future-Annabeth, Past-Annabeth, and Luke all growled in unison.

"Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him,"

Future-Annabeth rolled her eyes at Percy, who grinned sheepishly at his description. "Your head is full of kelp," She muttered.

"but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria."

Chiron frowned. He didn't expect Grover to blow his cover so easily. It was a miracle Percy didn't suspect anything. Future-Annabeth groaned.

"Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip."

"That's boring," Apollo muttered.

""I'm going to kill her," I mumbled."

Ares sat up straighter. "Action?" He asked in excitement.

"Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter.""

Silena frowned. "Not in your hair."

"He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch."

Past-Annabeth growled. She hated bullies. Especially bullies who bully her friends.

""That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat."

Ares slumped down. "Shit," He muttered, disappointed.

""You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into."

Artemis arched an eyebrow. "You'd hit a girl?"

"Lady Artemis, plenty of girls have kicked my ass. Doesn't matter the gender. You're a bully, you're a bully." Percy deadpanned.

Poseidon glared at the book. He didn't like the sound of that. He always got so attached to his mortal children.

"Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.

He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echo-ey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years."

"Longer," Hera declared. She was proud their history, their family, had survived for so long.

"He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx"

Future-Annabeth glared at the book. Percy huffed a laugh and put his hand on her shoulder

"on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting,"

Athena frowned. Really? She still didn't approve of anything form of friendship with her daughter but maybe she'd keep a closer eye on him.

"but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye."

"That's no way for a teacher to act," Athena muttered.

"Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown."

"Was that your fault?" Dionysus asked from behind his wine magazine.

"Uh, no," Percy replied uneasily. "He's paying attention?" He whispered to Future-Annabeth who was studying Dionysus.

"I don't know," She admitted.

"From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn."

"Nah," Percy disagreed with his past self. "that's Nico." Annabeth snickered. Hades looked up at the name of his son. Devil spawn...Nico...Hades couldn't help but wonder - does he get out of the casino? Does he get accepted at camp?

"She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month."

Hermes whistled softly. "Damn, long detention."

Travis and Connor looked at each other, trying to remember their longest detention.

Hades paled. 'Honey'. Like as in Alecto! Maybe this child had talked to his furies.

Poseidon frowned. He knew that was probably a monster. But he couldn't think which one. Echidna had really bad nicknames for her monsters but if it was then it wouldn't have been just her, she would've had one of her 'children' with her. Maybe the Nancy kid? Oh no, Poseidon did not like that thought.

"One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight,"

Apollo winced. "Yeesh."

"I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right.""

Future-Annabeth groaned into her hands. "Grover!" Past-Annabeth and Luke snickered together at their friend.

Poseidon paled. Definitely a monster. How would 'Grover' know? Maybe he was a satyr. Well if he was, he wasn't doing a great job of it.

Hades winced inwardly. Yep, that was definitely Alecto.

Chiron frowned. Grover should keep his cover better.

"Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele,"

"How disrespectful," Artemis frowned. This man was a real person, a real dead person. You wouldn't do that at a graveyard.

Hades glared at the book. "Don't disrespect the dead," He muttered.

Katie's lip curled. "Brat,"

"and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?""

"You tell her!" The Stolls whooped.

"It came out louder than I meant it to."

"Always does," Clarisse mumbled. She hated when she needed to teach someone a lesson, the teachers butted in on her business. Gods, get a life.

"The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.

"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"

My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."

Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?""

"Ten drachmas says he doesn't know it," Hermes murmured to Apollo, who grinned wickedly and agreed.

"I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it."

"Damn!" Hermes swore as Apollo took his winnings.

"You should know better than take a bet with the god of prophecies." Artemis chided.

"Sis!" Apollo whined. "Don't expose me!"

""That's Kronos eating his kids, right?""

The six original gods except for Zeus all groaned and made faces.

"Why that one?" Hera whined.

"Grossest thing ever!" Demeter complained.

"It's always that one!" Poseidon mumbled.

"Ugh," Hades groaned.

"And I was in there the longest!" Hestia moaned.

Zeus grinned, he was so glad he was mother's favorite and never got to experience being eaten.

Percy frowned and turned to Future-Annabeth. "That's oddly prophetic." He mumbled to her.

"Yeah, that and the thing with the sphynx." Future-Annabeth hummed in agreement. "The thing about torture with Hades' torturers."

"All the things with me getting in trouble and jinxing myself." Percy frowned. "Though that was in past tense so maybe not."

"We'll just have to keep a lookout for more prophetic stuff." Future-Annabeth decided.

Luke shivered at the thought of his master. He needed to get that bolt and get out soon, otherwise, the plot would be revealed and Luke was dead meat.

""Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..."

"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-""

Zeus turned purple. "GOD?!" He roared, interrupting himself. Thunder boomed outside.

"Read on, drama king," Percy dismissed with a wave of his hand. "I get corrected."

""God?" Mr. Brunner asked.

"Titan," I corrected myself."

Zeus deflated.

""And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus,"

"I'm mother's favorite," Zeus declared proudly.

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "No it's just you were the only one who was as identical and as dense as a rock, so father couldn't tell the difference."

The rest of the gods and demigods snickered at Zeus' face.

" and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"

"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me."

"Ew," Demeter agreed.

"Trying having to live it," Hades huffed.

""-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won.""

"You just summed up one of the biggest wars in history," Athena said slowly. "with half a sentence."

Percy grinned wickedly. "It's a gift."

Hermes and Apollo snickered.

"Some snickers from the group."

"Why, he got it right?" Hestia asked.

"'Cos that's kind of nerdy. Getting the answer right," Travis shrugged. "made him seem like a teacher's pet."

"Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'""

"I mean you would need to if you became a tour guide," Clarisse mumbled.

""And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?""

"Why would he have asked me that? Singling me out would have made Mrs. Dodds suspicious and he must've already suspected her to be a monster because Grover knew." Percy asked Future-Annabeth.

She chewed her lip. "Probably to see you knew you were a demigod," Future-Annabeth replied uneasily.

"Busted," Katie mumbled.

""Busted," Grover muttered."

"Oh no, you think like a goat!" Travis laughed.

""Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.

At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears."

"More like horse ears," Apollo grinned.

"I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."

"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?""

"Happy note?" Luke made a face. Chiron shouldn't be in charge of children. He should train them when they're older, not when they're in middle school.

Chiron gave him a dry smile. "No one appreciates good sarcasm."

"The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses."

"When do they not?" Artemis ground out.

"HEY!" All the men in the room except Percy complained.

Percy merely grinned at them. "Guys," He mock-chided. "lying is wrong." Future-Annabeth chuckled and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Athena tensed. Were they more than friends? No, no. Of course not. He was a slacker, she was a daughter of Athena. They would never work.

Past-Annabeth stared between her future self and Percy in shock.

Artemis frowned at him, surprised. He wasn't being prideful. Strange.

"Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."

I knew that was coming."

"Don't suppose that counts?" Percy grinned at Future-Annabeth.

"I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"

Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go - intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything."

"They have," Past-Annabeth smiled, looking up at her mentor.

""You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.

"About the Titans?"

"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."

"Oh.""

"Great answer," Clarisse snorted.

""What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard."

"To keep you safe," Hestia told Percy kindly.

"I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped."

"That's awesome!" Laughed Travis.

"But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life."

Athena's lip curled. If her daughter was dating someone like that, he would be shown to the sharp end of her spear.

"No, he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral."

"I probably had," Chiron mused.

"He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in."

Hera frowned at her husband and her brother. "What are you two fighting about?" They both shrugged sheepishly.

"Nobody else seemed to notice."

"I hate the mist," Percy mumbled.

Future-Annabeth made a face. "Remember what it did to Piper?"

"Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse,"

"Is she yours?" Demeter asked Hermes condescendingly.

Hermes didn't seem to notice her tone. "Of course not. She's trying. My kids would've already done it." He sent a wink to his kids. The Stolls puffed their chests out at the praise but Luke just ignored him.

and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere."

"Did it work?" Luke asked, looking Percy in the eye for the first time.

Percy shrugged uneasily. "Erm, I dunno. You'd have to ask Grover."

""Detention?" Grover asked.

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius.""

"Understatement," Clarisse snickered.

"Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?""

That earned a few chuckles.

"I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it."

Future-Annabeth stared at Percy. "Really?!"

"I'm not that bad," Percy grumbled.

"I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home."

"Mama's boy," Ares sniggered.

Percy shot him a death glare that caused him to shrink back. "Says the one still living with his mom."

Future-Annabeth sighed contently. "Sally is so great."

" She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years"

Hermes whistled.

"and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table."

Hephaestus sat up a little straighter. Beckendorf got out a notebook and wrote something down.

I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends - I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists - and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap."

Past-Annabeth and Luke were growling. Future-Annabeth and Percy were smirking as they knew what happened next.

""Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spraypainted her face with liquid Cheetos."

"Okay, number one: ew," Aphrodite began. "she really needs a make-over. Number two: Nancy probably had a crush on Percy as she only really bullied his friend and did it for Percy's attention."

Percy turned green. Future-Annabeth's face was stony and she snuggled into Percy. "Mine," She decided.

Past-Annabeth flushed tomato-red, Luke and Chiron's eyebrows shot up, Athena turned as white as a sheet.

"I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears."

"Poseidon," Zeus growled. Hades was gripping his throne tightly. Poseidon was staring at Percy intently.

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"

"-the water-"

"-like it grabbed her-""

"POSEIDON!" Zeus boomed. Hades' eye turned feral.

Poseidon sighed softly, accepting. "Peace. We will talk about this chapter." He said heavily.

Athena went porridge-grey. Her daughter was dating a sea brat?!

Past-Annabeth went paler and paler until she was just a salmon pink. A daughter of Athena and a son of Poseidon?! They should be enemies! They weren't meant to get along and yet...Annabeth had never seen herself that comfortable with someone before.

Aphrodite sat up still at the idea of forbidden love between the sea prince and owl's daughter. What a great idea, Aphrodite mentally thanked her future self for her amazing plans.

Silena raised her eyebrows at the idea. She kind of...shipped it?

I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.

As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester."

"You had. You just revealed yourself." Future-Annabeth told Percy.

""Now, honey-""

"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks.""

"Never guess your punishment!" The Stolls and Hermes yelled.

"That wasn't the right thing to say."

"Of course it wasn't," Clarisse grumbled.

""Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said."

"Don't!" Poseidon cried. "That's a monster."

"No shit," Hera rolled her eyes.

""Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."

I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death."

"Yeah, for a good reason," Hades mumbled.

"She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.

"But-"

"You-will-stay-here."

Grover looked at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."

"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirked.

I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare."

Future-Annabeth and Ares shivered.

"Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things."

"No it's the mist," Athena told him.

Percy nodded. "Yeah, I know now."

"I wasn't so sure.

I went after Mrs. Dodds.

Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel."

Poseidon glared at Chiron, who winced softly.

"I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.

Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

But apparently that wasn't the plan."

"Of course, it's never that easy," Percy muttered. Poseidon shivered in fear.

"I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.

Except for us, the gallery was empty."

"No witnesses," Ares mumbled.

"Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it..."

"She probably did," Percy mused.

""You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.

I did the safe thing."

Future-Annabeth stared at her boyfriend. "'Safe thing', really?"

"I said, "Yes, ma'am.""

"Safe, respectful, what's up with you?" Future-Annabeth demanded.

"She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"

The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me."

"Ah, so naïve," Percy sighed. Poseidon shivered. He did not like the sound of that.

"I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am.""

"You know," Percy told Future-Annabeth conversationally. "that sounds really bad in context."

"Thunder shook the building.

"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking about.

All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room."

"I love this kid," Apollo laughed.

"Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book."

"Have you?" Athena demanded.

Percy sighed heavily. "Yeah, Annabeth made me read it."

""Well?" she demanded.

"Ma'am, I don't..."

"Your time is up," she hissed.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shrivelled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons."

"A FURY!" Poseidon shouted. "HADES, YOU SENT A FURY AFTER MY SON?!"

"I haven't done it yet," Hades muttered.

"We're talking after," Hestia reminded him, frowning disapprovingly at Hades.

"Then things got even stranger.

Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand."

Artemis tensed, thinking back to her Zoe.

""What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.

Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.

With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword"

Artemis sighed heavily and glared at Chiron and Percy. Zoe's property should not be in the hands of a man.

"- Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.

Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword."

"Wimp," Ares sniggered. He subsequently got dowsed in seawater.

"She snarled, "Die, honey!"

And she flew straight at me."

Poseidon was shaking.

"Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword."

"Naturally?" Luke asked.

"Fight or flight," Future-Annabeth told him, not looking him in the eye.

"The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!

Mrs. Dodds was a sandcastle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me."

"You defeated a fury...just like that?" Hades asked timidly.

"Uh, yeah," Percy grinned sheepishly. "Oops."

"I was alone.

There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.

Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.

My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something."

"No, Travis," Katie told him before he could say anything. "Those aren't a real thing." The Stolls deflated.

"Had I imagined the whole thing?

I went back outside.

It had started to rain."

Hera looked at Zeus suspiciously.

"Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt.""

"Who?" Most of the throne room asked.

"I said, "Who?""

"You all think like me," Percy laughed.

""Our teacher. Duh!"

I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.

She just rolled her eyes and turned away."

"Rude," Luke mumbled.

"I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.

He said, "Who?"

But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me."

"Grover," Past-Annabeth groaned.

""Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."

Thunder boomed overhead."

Zeus suddenly found the ceiling very interesting.

"I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.

I went over to him.

He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."

I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"

He stared at me blankly. "Who?""

"Now that's how you lie," Hermes said approvingly. Artemis hit him over the head.

""The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."

He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?""

"Note for the future Chiron," Percy piped up. "When this does happen, explain it to me, take me to Camp Half-Blood. Don't me feel like a psycho."

Chiron grinned slightly sheepishly. "Sorry, Percy."

"I'm hungry," Connor whined.

Clarisse stared at him. "It was literally just lunch."

"How about every three chapters we have a break," Hestia suggested. Luke decided maybe then he would make his move, best to get out of Olympus before they discover his secret.

"Poseidon how could you break the oath?!" Zeus thundered.

"Are we going to have this discussion now?" Poseidon asked. "Let's read the books, you can decide whether or not to kill him. But judging by this book title, you might have bigger things to worry about brother."

Zeus' eyes narrowed. "Is that a threat?" He asked quietly.

"Can we talk about how Hades sent a fury after my son?!"

"I'm sure it will be explained," Hades argued.

"Boys!" Demeter snapped but they kept arguing.

Aphrodite took a breath. "SHUT UP!" All mouths snapped shut.

"Maybe if we finish the books, we might know what to do in the future," Artemis told them.

"That was the fates' plan," Athena agreed.

"Let's just get on with it," Dionysus ground out. Ares hummed in agreement. Hephaestus didn't look up from behind his notebook. Zeus handed the book to Hera, who took it gingerly as if it hurt her.

"2 - THREE OLD LADIES KNIT THE SOCKS OF DEATH."