Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, or any other franchise in the Riordanverse. I do not own any of the characters from the Riordanverse or Greek Mythology. All bolded text is from the book and I do not own that either. I just own my writing and some of the reactions.
Please don't take down my story.
"6 - I BECOME SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM"
Percy grinned sheepishly at the very confused glances. He turned to Clarisse. "I apologise in advance for what is about to happen."
Clarisse stared at him for a moment. "I hope, for your sake, my future self takes care of it Prissy, else-" She cut herself off her Percy's grin. "What's so funny?!"
"You called me Prissy," Percy smiled. "Future you also does. I'm glad you haven't changed."
Future-Annabeth sighed warily "I will never understand your friendship."
"Are we not going to talk about how weird it is to become the 'supreme lord of the bathroom'?!" Past-Annabeth blurted out.
"One with the plumbing," Percy snickered. Past-Annabeth glared at him.
Future-Annabeth huffed a laugh. "It's Percy, it's always going to be weird."
The gods and demigods didn't seem to like that answer, but let Hestia read on either way.
"Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was a horse, we had a nice tour, though I was careful not to walk behind him."
Chiron raised an eyebrow.
"I'd done pooper-scooper patrol in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade a few times, and, I'm sorry, I did not trust Chiron's back end the way I trusted his front."
The demigods broke into fits of laughter. Chiron shook his head fondly.
"We passed the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudged each other. One pointed to the minotaur horn I was carrying. Another said, "That's him.""
Silena whistled. "The gossip of camp on the first day, poor you."
"Most of the campers were older than me. Their satyr friends were bigger than Grover,"
Dionysus snorted. "Most satyrs are bigger than Grover."
"all of them trotting around in orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirts, with nothing else to cover their bare shaggy hindquarters."
"Shag-carpet pants," Connor corrected.
"I wasn't normally shy, but the way they stared at me made me uncomfortable. I felt like they were expecting me to do a flip or something."
"Can you?" Hermes asked excitedly.
"Then? No. Now? Yes," Percy replied easily.
"I looked back at the farmhouse. It was a lot bigger than I'd realized—four stories tall, sky blue with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I was checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something caught my eye, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I got the distinct impression I was being watched."
"...The oracle...it moved!" Apollo exclaimed, losing the weight that was piled on him.
"Yeah," Percy smiled, relieved that Apollo was forgetting about the situations Percy had been through. "It went downstairs a few years later, to delivering a prophecy."
Apollo looked ready to burst with happiness.
""What's up there?" I asked Chiron.
He looked where I was pointing, and his smile faded. "Just the attic."
"Somebody lives there?"
"No," he said with finality. "Not a single living thing.""
Hermes whistled. "Not lying but not telling the truth. Good job Chiron."
Chiron blushed and nodded.
"I got the feeling he was being truthful. But I was also sure something had moved that curtain.
"Come along, Percy," Chiron said, his light-hearted tone now a little forced. "Lots to see.""
"And yet he can't change the subject," Hermes sighed.
"We walked through the strawberry fields, where campers were picking bushels of berries while a satyr played a tune on a reed pipe."
"Thank the gods it wasn't Grover," Luke snorted.
"Chiron told me the camp grew a nice crop for export to New York restaurants and Mount Olympus. "It pays our expenses," he explained. "And the strawberries take almost no effort."
He said Mr. D had this effect on fruit-bearing plants: they just went crazy when he was around. It worked best with wine grapes, but Mr. D was restricted from growing those, so they grew strawberries instead."
"Not anymore," A now younger and much hotter Dionysus sighed happily.
"I watched the satyr playing his pipe. His music was causing lines of bugs to leave the strawberry patch in every direction, like refugees fleeing a fire. I wondered if Grover could work that kind of magic with music."
Past-Annabeth winced. "Not unless you want to go deaf."
"I wondered if he was still inside the farmhouse, getting chewed out by Mr. D.
"Grover won't get in too much trouble, will he?" I asked Chiron. "I mean…he was a good protector. Really.""
Zeus snorted. Poseidon was ready to do the same until he saw the murderous glare his son was directing at Zeus. Grover was Percy's best friend, Poseidon reminded himself and slid himself down on the sofa with a sigh.
"Chiron sighed. He shed his tweed jacket and draped it over his horse's back like a saddle. "Grover has big dreams, Percy. Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing him safely to Half-Blood Hill."
"But he did that!""
Demeter shook her head. "You brought him, not the other way round."
""I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success. After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate…ah…fate of your mother."
"That shouldn't change anything," Dionysus frowned. "The boy was his mission, the mother was just...collateral damage."
Percy scoffed. "That's the problem. You gods treat mortals as annoyances who are in the way, not people with lives and families and personalities."
"The same thing happens with demigods too," Future-Annabeth sighed. "Just because there are less powerful demigods doesn't make them worth any less. Me and Luke...we were just collateral damage, right? Thalia was the one you wanted as your tool, and we were blamed for her death because we survived. I don't have any powers and yet I was the leader of the group of the most powerful demigods of the age."
"And we wouldn't have had it any other way," Percy said simply, bumping shoulders with his girlfriend.
"This did take me a bit longer to realise though," Future-Annabeth's expression turned nostalgic. "I was the biggest bitch to Rachel, just 'cause I was jealous and angry. But I also considered her worth less for not having a godly parents, although she did have home issues too, I was just-"
"None of that," Percy frowned. "Wise girl, you have the worst case of abandonment issues I've ever met. Frankly, we should've had better communication, you should've confessed instead of taking it out on Rach, but we were young, we were fourteen, we were idiots." Percy paused. "You're also really hot when you're a bitch."
"Oh, so I'm not hot all the time?" Future-Annabeth countered.
"Hey, wait-no-I didn't-" Percy stammered but Future-Annabeth was cackling.
"I'm just teasing with you."
"And...she's back," Percy laughed, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek.
"And the fact that Grover was unconscious when you dragged him over the property line. The council might question whether this shows any courage on Grover's part.""
Percy was sucked right out of fantasy land and back into reality with a hard thump. He glared at Chiron. "Grover is the bravest satyr I've ever met."
"I know that Percy," Chiron said gently. "but in context of what happened, Grover didn't do too much."
Percy harrumphed but didn't say anything else.
"I wanted to protest. None of what happened was Grover's fault. I also felt really, really guilty. If I hadn't given Grover the slip at the bus station, he might not have gotten in trouble."
Dionysus sighed. "Exactly! You just made the job harder on him."
""He'll get a second chance, won't he?"
Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that was Grover's second chance, Percy. The council was not anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, five years ago. Olympus knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age…"
"How old is he?""
"I really should stop asking people that," Percy sighed.
Future-Annabeth snickered. "Remember when Will asked Nico?"
Percy chuckled softly.
"...Nico? Di Angelo?" Hades asked timidly.
Zeus froze at that. "Your children with that mortal Maria are still alive?!"
The demigods stilled. Hades had children. HADES had CHILDREN.
Chiron stiffened. He didn't know what to do with the prospect of a possible child of Hades.
Percy and Future-Annabeth exchanged glances. "Uhm...spoilers? It'll come up in the third book."
Zeus and Hades looked to be in a staring competition, Zeus silently demanding Hades to repent but Hades wasn't backing down.
"Be calm brother. If my son is twenty-two, the prophecy must have passed." Poseidon told him. "Maria died seventy years ago, Hades did not break the oath, unlike you and I. If Percy said the prophecies disappearing was his fault, he most likely is the prophecy child. But you mustn't forget that Thalia Grace is alive in his timeline. If you kill Percy or the Di Angelos, you must also kill Thalia, an act, I'm sure, you do not wish to do."
"Times have to have changed if Uncle P is being the peace keeper," Hermes sniggered.
""Oh, twenty-eight."
"What! And he's in sixth grade?"
"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Percy. Grover has been the equivalent of a middle school student for the past six years.""
The Stolls looked at each other in horror. Beckendorf winced.
""That's horrible."
"Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyr standards, and not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dream. Perhaps now he will find some other career. …"
"That's not fair," I said. "What happened the first time? Was it really so bad?""
"Yes," Zeus agreed instantly, glaring at Hades.
Hades sighed softly. "It wasn't fair to take it out on Thalia Grace, but you shouldn't have killed my Maria."
Luke and Past-Annabeth and the rest of the campers, who had their heads bowed in respect, exchanged confused glances.
"The Grace child deserved it," Hera sneered. Everyone glared at her, even Hades.
"Chiron looked away quickly. "Let's move along, shall we?""
"Great liar, not so great at changing the subject," Artemis observed.
"But I wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop. Something had occurred to me when Chiron talked about my mother's fate, as if he were intentionally avoiding the word death."
"No, no, no and no!" Poseidon warned.
"The beginnings of an idea—a tiny, hopeful fire— started forming in my mind."
"Percy," Poseidon groaned into his hands. Percy winced and grinned sheepishly.
""Chiron," I said. "If the gods and Olympus and all that are real…"
"Yes, child?"
"Does that mean the Underworld is real, too?""
"Yep," Silena deadpanned.
"That's where the nightmares live," Clarisse agreed.
"A huge pain in our back sides," Katie sighed.
"Chiron's expression darkened.
"Yes, child." He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "There is a place where spirits go after death. But for now…until we know more…I would urge you to put that out of your mind.""
"'Until we know more'," Demeter scoffed. "Are you trying to send him down to the Underworld?"
"What do you mean, 'until we know more'?"
"Come, Percy. Let's see the woods.""
"Yikes Chiron." Apollo winced. "You need to get better at that."
"We have a free spot on Saturday," Connor piped up.
"As we got closer, I realized how huge the forest was. It took up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native Americans.
Chiron said, "The woods are stocked, if you care to try your luck, but go armed."
"Stocked with what?""
"Monsters!" Travis declared with mock-cheerfulness.
I asked. "Armed with what?"
"You'll see."
"Poor kid," Luke muttered. No one was explaining anything to him. Chiron was a good trainer, but he should not be in charge of 90-or-so kids.
"Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own sword and shield?""
"Why would he have his own?" Demeter asked.
"B'cos some demigod parents give their children weapons-" Beckendorf began. "Like me."
"Or their children pick up weapons on the way." Past-Annabeth smiled. She nudged Luke. "Like us."
""My own—?"
"No," Chiron said. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do."
"Maybe a bit smaller," Future-Annabeth chuckled. Percy pouted.
"I'll visit the armory later."
I wanted to ask what kind of summer camp had an armory,"
"I'd of thought you'd've noticed by now Percy," Travis shook his head in disappointment.
"That this is no ordinary summer camp," Connor finished.
"but there was too much else to think about, so the tour continued. We saw the archery range, the canoeing lake, the stables (which Chiron didn't seem to like very much),"
"Of course," Apollo snickered.
"the javelin range, the sing-along amphitheater, and the arena where Chiron said they held sword and spear fights.
"Sword and spear fights?" I asked.
"Cabin challenges and all that," he explained. "Not lethal. Usually."
"I don't like the sound of that," Hestia huffed.
"Oh, yes, and there's the mess hall."
Chiron pointed to an outdoor pavilion framed in white Grecian columns on a hill overlooking the sea. There were a dozen stone picnic tables. No roof. No walls.
"What do you do when it rains?" I asked."
"It doesn't!" Zeus puffed out his chest proudly.
Percy and Future-Annabeth exchanged looks.
"Chiron looked at me as if I'd gone a little weird. "We still have to eat, don't we?" I decided to drop the subject."
"He's so used to people watching the orientation film," Past-Annabeth sighed.
Finally, he showed me the cabins. There were twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. And they were without doubt the most bizarre collection of buildings I'd ever seen."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hera demanded.
"Except for the fact that each had a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they looked absolutely nothing alike. Number nine had smokestacks, like a tiny factory."
Hephaestus smiled and Beckendorf cheered.
"Number four had tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass."
Katie grinned at her home, Demeter smiled.
"Seven seemed to be made of solid gold, which gleamed so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at."
Apollo seemed to let go of his thoughts for a second to light up at the description of his cabin.
"They all faced a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed)."
"Of course," Future-Annabeth sighed.
"In the center of the field was a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it was a warm afternoon, the hearth smoldered. A girl about nine years old was tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick."
Hestia paused and beamed at Percy. "You saw me!"
"Yeah, sorry I didn't stay to chat," Percy mumbled bashfully.
But Hestia just brushed him off. "That doesn't matter, you were in a state. As long as you acknowledge the hearth, the home, I am glad."
"Thanks, Aunt Hestia," Percy smiled. Hestia grinned wider, if that was possible.
"The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, looked like his-and-hers mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin one was the biggest and bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmered like a hologram, so that from different angles lightning bolts seemed to streak across them."
Zeus cheered for his cabin.
"Cabin two was more graceful somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls were carved with images of peacocks."
Hera smirked and settled into her seat.
""Zeus and Hera?" I guessed.
"Correct," Chiron said.
"Their cabins look empty.""
Hera sniffed, "As all the cabins should be."
"Ok boomer," Percy retorted.
Nobody understood what he said but Future-Annabeth, who was trying really, really, hard not to burst out laughing at the look on Queen Cow's face.
""Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."
Okay. So each cabin had a different god, like a mascot."
Hermes laughed. "I supposed you can think of it like that, yes."
"Twelve cabins for the twelve Olympians. But why would some be empty?"
"Because some people can keep it in their pants!" Artemis ground out.
"I stopped in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three. It wasn't high and mighty like cabin one, but long and low and solid. The outer walls were of rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashell and coral, as if the slabs had been hewn straight from the bottom of the ocean floor."
Poseidon grinned. Percy smiled widely at the thought of his second home.
"I peeked inside the open doorway and Chiron said, "Oh, I wouldn't do that!""
"Even if he wasn't my son, I wouldn't have hurt him," Poseidon frowned.
"Before he could pull me back, I caught the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the shore at Montauk. The interior walls glowed like abalone. There were six empty bunk beds with silk sheets turned down. But there was no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place felt so sad and lonely, I was glad when Chiron put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Come along, Percy.""
"And now I live there, with Tyson visiting sometimes." Percy cheered.
"Tyson?" Most of the throne room yelled.
"There's another sea brat?!" Athena screeched.
"He's not a half-blood," Percy huffed, annoyed.
"Then how-" Ares tried.
Percy smirked. "Now, that would be telling."
"Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.
Number five was bright red—a real nasty paint job, as if the color had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me."
Ares and Clarisse cheered.
"Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALFBLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on me and gave me an evil sneer. She reminded me of Nancy Bobofit,"
"Excuse me?!" Clarisse demanded.
Percy winced. "Yeah sorry about that, just wait until we finish the hating before you try to kick my ass."
Nobody commented on how he said 'try'.
"though the camper girl was much bigger and tougher looking, and her hair was long and stringy, and brown instead of red.
I kept walking, trying to stay clear of Chiron's hooves. "We haven't seen any other centaurs," I observed."
"PARTY PONIES!" The Stolls, Hermes, Apollo, and Percy yelled.
Percy was very glad Apollo had stopped thinking about his examination. That sucked.
""No," said Chiron sadly. "My kinsmen are a wild and barbaric folk, I'm afraid. You might encounter them in the wilderness, or at major sporting events. But you won't see any here."
"You said your name was Chiron. Are you really…"
He smiled down at me. "The Chiron from the stories? Trainer of Hercules"
Percy pulled a face. Artemis' hands curled into fists. Zeus beamed proudly.
"and all that? Yes, Percy, I am."
"But, shouldn't you be dead?""
"Percy!" Future-Annabeth chided exasperatedly. "Have a little more tact!"
"Chiron paused, as if the question intrigued him."
"Death and fate always intrigues me," Chiron smiled.
"I honestly don't know about should be. The truth is, I can't be dead. You see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. I could continue the work I loved. I could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. I gained much from that wish…and I gave up much. But I'm still here, so I can only assume I'm still needed."
I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn't have made my Top Ten Things to Wish For list."
"Mood," Future-Annabeth snickered.
"I really don't understand what I turn into," Past-Annabeth sighed.
""Doesn't it ever get boring?"
"No, no," he said. "Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring."
"Why depressing?""
Chiron's expression turned sad as he thought about his past students.
"Chiron seemed to turn hard of hearing again.
"Oh, look," he said. "Annabeth is waiting for us.""
"You need to get better Chiron," Hermes sighed.
"The blond girl"
Past-Annabeth scowled, Luke laughed lightly until he got elbowed.
"I'd met at the Big House was reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven.
When we reached her, she looked me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drooled."
"Yes, Percy," Future-Annabeth deadpanned. "that's exactly what I was thinking."
"I tried to see what she was reading, but I couldn't make out the title. I thought my dyslexia was acting up. Then I realized the title wasn't even English. The letters looked Greek to me. I mean, literally Greek. There were pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book."
"It was an architecture book, and I wasn't even there," Travis laughed. Both Annabeths gave him a death glare.
""Annabeth," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from here?"
"Yes, sir."
"Cabin eleven," Chiron told me, gesturing toward the doorway. "Make yourself at home.""
The Stolls and Hermes cheered. Luke didn't make any outward notion that he had heard it.
"Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. The threshold was worn down, the brown paint peeling."
Hermes sighed, looking downtrodden.
"Over the doorway was one of those doctor's symbols, a winged pole with two snakes wrapped around it. What did they call it…? A caduceus."
"You knew that?" Athena asked.
Hermes pulled out his iPhone and extended it out into his caduceus.
"Are we getting fed now?" A male voice hissed softly, sounding annoyed.
"Oh husssh up George!" A female voice snapped back. "I want to hear thisss."
"But ratsss Martha, RATSSS!" George ground out.
"Shut it you two, I only brought you out to brag, I need to hear about my future," Hermes scorned. The two snakes fell silent.
"Inside, it was packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds. Sleeping bags were spread all over on the floor. It looked like a gym where the Red Cross had set up an evacuation center.
Chiron didn't go in. The door was too low for him. But when the campers saw him they all stood and bowed respectfully.
"Well, then," Chiron said. "Good luck, Percy."
"Yeah, I'll be needing it," Percy sighed. "Hermes kids are really intimidating, for no reason!"
"I'll see you at dinner."
He galloped away toward the archery range.
I stood in the doorway, looking at the kids. They weren't bowing anymore. They were staring at me, sizing me up. I knew this routine. I'd gone through it at enough schools."
"Why are kids so judgy?" Percy huffed.
"Well?" Annabeth prompted. "Go on."
So naturally I tripped coming in the door and made a total fool of myself."
"'Naturally'," Ares snickered.
"There were some snickers from the campers, but none of them said anything.
Annabeth announced, "Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven."
"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asked.
I didn't know what to say, but Annabeth said, "Undetermined."
Everybody groaned."
"I'm so glad you fixed that," Future-Annabeth smiled.
"Wait, what? How?" Luke asked excitedly.
Future-Annabeth smirked and moved to whisper in his ear. "Spoilers."
Luke mock-glared at her and she laughed.
"You all need to claim your kids," Hestia sighed, looking at her siblings.
"I do!" Poseidon protested.
"I don't have kids," Artemis objected.
"Hear, hear," Hera agreed.
"Okay, all of you except for Poseidon and the maiden goddesses, except for Athena, need to claim your kids," Hestia amended.
All the other gods and goddesses shifted in their seat uncomfortably.
"A guy who was a little older than the rest came forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."
The guy was about nineteen, and he looked pretty cool. He was tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wore an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his appearance was a thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash."
"Luke's in the book!" Travis whooped.
""This is Luke," Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and could've sworn she was blushing."
Past-Annabeth went red, Luke smiled weakly and looked vaguely uncomfortable.
Future-Annabeth's eye turned dangerous. "I was not!"
"Was too!" Percy countered childishly.
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was no-"
"ENOUGH, CHILDREN!" Athena boomed. She glared at Percy strongly and gave Future-Annabeth a disappointed shake of the head.
Future-Annabeth snorted. "The importance of your opinion of me went to zilch after..." She trailed off, her eyes reaching Past-Annabeth's.
Percy squeezed her hand gently and murmured reassurances in her ear until she calmed down.
"She saw me looking, and her expression hardened again. "He's your counselor for now."
"For now?" I asked.
"You're undetermined," Luke explained patiently. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travellers.""
"You know," Connor sighed. "It's annoying being in he overcrowded cabin, I'd love for the gods to fucking claim their kids, but I'd never change my parent."
Luke didn't seem to agree, his face morphing into a scowl.
"I looked at the tiny section of floor they'd given me. I had nothing to put there to mark it as my own, no luggage, no clothes, no sleeping bag. Just the Minotaur's horn. I thought about setting that down,"
Travis and Connor sat up eagerly, Katie gave them her best disapproving stare.
"but then I remembered that Hermes was also the god of thieves."
The Stolls deflated.
Hermes pouted. "Shame, that would've looked great above one of my kid's bed."
"I looked around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they were waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.
"How long will I be here?" I asked.
"Good question," Luke said. "Until you're determined."
"How long will that take?"
The campers all laughed."
The demigods snickered.
Hestia frowned.
""Come on," Annabeth told me. "I'll show you the volleyball court."
"I've already seen it.""
"Smooth, Jackson," Clarisse sniggered.
""Come on." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside. I could hear the kids of cabin eleven laughing behind me.
When we were a few feet away, Annabeth said, "Jackson, you have to do better than that.""
"You don't have to be so rude about it," Apollo huffed.
"On the contrary, brother," Artemis interjected. "she is giving advice."
"Yeah, rudely," Ares remarked.
Demeter rolled her eyes. "Well, despite your beliefs, a girl does not have to be delicate and sweet."
"He didn't say that," Hermes pointed out. "He said Annabeth didn't have to be so rude with her advice, not that she had to be 'delicate and sweet'."
"It was implied!" Demeter snapped back.
"And even if she was rude, that would be perfectly acceptable," Hera sneered.
"Oh, so it's alright if a girl is rude, but a man is a big no-no?" Dionysus snarled, looking up from his magazine.
"First off, don't let Hera speak for us. And, no offence Arty and Demeter, but you guys are pretty biased," Aphrodite cut in.
Artemis shrugged unbothered. "Someone has to be," Demeter hummed in agreement. Artemis paused for a second before her eyes narrowed. "And don't call me 'Arty'."
"Second off," Aphrodite continued like Artemis didn't say anything. "Annabeth was running on tension from finding another demigod who wouldn't get her a quest. She shouldn't have taken it out on Percy, yes I know, but can you really blame her for wanting to have a life."
"How would you know that?" Athena sneered.
Aphrodite sighed heavily. "Goddess of all loves, remember? Including a love for things like the outside world, or for adventure. Also, with a couple millennia in my purse, I'm like super good at reading people."
""What?"
She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you were the one.""
"Oh but he is," Travis snickered.
A footsteps ran across the throne room and screaming was heard before Travis plonked down again with a swollen lip and a black eye.
""What's your problem?" I was getting angry now. "All I know is, I kill some bull guy—"
"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth told me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?""
"What?" Silena asked, confused.
""To get killed?"
"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?""
"To not get killed...?" Beckendorf said slowly. Past-Annabeth was blushing bright red.
"She needs to sought out her priorities," Percy whispered loudly in a British accent.
"I shook my head. "Look, if the thing I fought really was the Minotaur, the same one in the stories…"
"Yes."
"Then there's only one.""
"Well," Hermes began dryly. "There was only one woman cursed to fall in love with a bull, so unless this one was 'Made in China', I don't think there's going to be another."
""Yes."
"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus"
Dionysus scowled.
"killed him in the labyrinth. So…"
"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."
"Oh, thanks. That clears it up.""
Hermes sniggered. "I love your sarcasm."
""They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime if you're lucky."
"And obviously you're not," Future-Annabeth remarked.
"But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes. Eventually, they reform."
I thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—""
"Then she's going to be pissed," Hades surmised.
""The Fur…I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."
"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"
"You talk in your sleep.""
"Still do," Future-Annabeth laughed. Percy blushed.
""You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"
Annabeth glanced nervously at the ground, as if she expected it to open up and swallow her. "You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak of them at all.""
"Why though? They. Are. Not. Kind," Percy stressed.
""Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sounded whiny, even to myself, but right then I didn't care. "Why do I have to stay in cabin eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."
I pointed to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turned pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or…your parent."
She stared at me, waiting for me to get it."
"You'd be waiting for a long time," Clarisse sniggered.
""My mom is Sally Jackson," I said. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station. At least, she used to."
"I'm sorry about your mom, Percy. But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other parent. Your dad."
"He's dead. I never knew him.""
"So...Uncle P is a zombie?" Ares snickered.
"Don't even joke about it. Imagine the paperwork," Hades moaned.
"Annabeth sighed. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's not dead, Percy."
"How can you say that? You know him?"
"No, of course not.""
"Well, now I do," Future-Annabeth smiled at Poseidon.
Athena's eyes went dark. "Wh-"
"D'you reckon that's another bit of 'people in the past being prophetic'?" Percy interrupted loudly before Athena could say anything else to hurt his girlfriend.
Future-Annabeth frowned, having not heard her mother's exclamation. "I'm not sure."
"Hold the phone! Annabeth Chase. The smartest child of Athena...doesn't know something?! Call the press! This is newsworthy!" Percy declared dramatically.
Future-Annabeth hit him. Poseidon's eyes crinkled with a smile as he watched their antics.
"I think I can hear wedding bells," He ribbed good-naturedly. "Future children are coming!"
Percy and both Annabeths went red. Athena's eyes turned even darker. Past-Annabeth was still spluttering about being called 'the smartest child of Athena'.
"But Percy's already thought about it, hasn't he?" Aphrodite teased with delight.
Future-Annabeth went even redder. "WHAT?!" She squeaked, turning to her boyfriend, who was hiding his face in his hands. "I mean, I knew about your plans for us in New Rome, but-I-not-what?"
Past-Annabeth paused in her freaking-out. 'New Rome'? Why were those two making so many references so Romans. They weren't supposed to get along?! Besides, they were long dead. She thought about bringing this up but thought better of it, the need to know what her future boyfriend thought about kids was killing her. She'd bring this up later.
Athena's inner turmoil was coiling away from her daughter. Annabeth was going to marry a sea brat, have his babies, live in New Rome?! Was she even her daughter?! Something must have gone horribly wrong.
Percy groaned into his hands. "You remember when we met the Kanes?"
His Annabeth nodded slowly. "Yes...?"
"You remember Sadie?"
"Uh huh...?"
"She just," Percy blushed. "She reminded me of what our future child would be like."
His Annabeth's eyes widened. "With her looks being more...me, and her personality being more...you?"
"Yeah."
"Oh gods, Percy, oh that's really sweet," His Annabeth paused. "I just, I don't think I'm there yet. I mean, when I was younger it was all 'we're gonna die so might as well live', but now we have time and safety and stability." She rushed. "I've never really had a family. I mean, you have your mom, and Paul, and Estelle, and a good relationship with your dad, and I just...don't? I'm sorry. This is really not a good time to be talking about this. And I know you're kind of expecting something, because, like, you proposed a while back and I said 'I'm not ready' and you said you'd wait, but, Hazel and Frank are getting married, and they've known each other for a much shorter amount of time, but I just, I'm not...ready...?"
Percy laughed softly. "Wise girl, I don't mind that you're not ready. I'll wait for as long as it takes, alright? It's me and you against the world, remember? We'll finish our studies, move into a proper home, get real jobs, you can start your firm, and whenever you're ready, talk to me, alright? Maybe we can get a dog to start with, or babysit Estelle more, or take care of the younger campers...heck, you can say you don't want kids and I'll stand by you. I meant it when I said you were never getting away from me."
"Never again," His Annabeth agreed, eyes watering.
"So stop it with those abandonment issues, okay babe?"
"And..." His Annabeth hiccupped. "and if I said I wanted to become a Huntress of Artemis?"
Percy frowned. "Well, I sure as Hades would cry about it for a long, long, time, but I'd run with it because I love you Wise Girl. Now, anymore stupid questions?"
His Annabeth laughed watery and smiled at Percy. "How did I get so lucky?"
"More like how, did I get so lucky?" Percy snorted. "You were there from thin and thick, from went I passed my SATs to when there was no more blue cookies."
His Annabeth laughed, properly this time. "Seaweed Brain," She muttered fondly.
Hestia smiled at the pair, letting them have their moment before continuing.
""Then how can you say—"
"Because I know you. You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."
"You don't know anything about me."
"No?" She raised an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were kicked out of a lot of them.""
"Sorry I was so mean," Future-Annabeth muttered to Percy, who just smiled reassuringly and squeezed her hand.
"How—"
"Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."
I tried to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are.""
"It's great on the battlefield, not so much in the classroom," Clarisse sighed.
""You sound like…you went through the same thing?"
"Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."
"Ambrosia and nectar?""
"Food of the gods," Katie sighed contently.
"And drink," Travis added. Katie glared at him.
""The food and drink"
"See!" Travis cheered. Katie hit him.
"we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face it. You're a half-blood."
A half-blood.
I was reeling with so many questions I didn't know where to start."
"The beginning?" Hephaestus suggested.
"Then a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"
I looked over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin was sauntering toward us. She had three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.
"Clarisse,""
"So Clarisse gets a speaking part! No fair!" Travis pouted.
"Annabeth sighed. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"
"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl said. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."
"Erre es korakas!" Annabeth said, which I somehow understood was Greek for 'Go to the crows!' though I had a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounded."
"And I now know that it means go to Hades," Percy said conversationally. "Which translates to 'go fuck yourself'."
""You don't stand a chance."
"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. Perhaps she wasn't sure she could follow through on the threat."
"Why me?" Clarisse groaned when Ares looked at her accusingingly.
"Ha! If I'm getting exposed, all of youse coming down with me!" Percy cheered.
"She turned toward me. "Who's this little runt?"
"Percy Jackson," Annabeth said, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Ares.""
Clarisse grinned proudly.
"I blinked. "Like…the war god?"
Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"
"No," I said, recovering my wits. "It explains the bad smell.""
"Ooooooh!" Hermes, the Stolls, and Apollo whistled.
Ares growled. "Don't disrespect my cabin."
Clarisse's eye twitched.
"Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, Prissy.""
"There it is!" Percy cheered.
""Percy."
"Whatever. Come on, I'll show you."
"Clarisse—" Annabeth tried to say.
"Stay out of it, wise girl.""
"What is it, nickname day?" Future-Annabeth muttered.
"Annabeth looked pained, but she did stay out of it, and I didn't really want her help. I was the new kid. I had to earn my own rep."
"There is nothing wrong with asking for help," Hestia told Percy kindly.
"I handed Annabeth my minotaur horn and got ready to fight, but before I knew it, Clarisse had me by the neck and was dragging me toward a cinderblock building that I knew immediately was the bathroom.
I was kicking and punching. I'd been in plenty of fights before, but this big girl Clarisse had hands like iron."
Ares cheered proudly.
"She dragged me into the girls' bathroom. There was a line of toilets on one side and a line of shower stalls down the other. It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was thinking—as much as I could think with Clarisse ripping my hair out—that if this place belonged to the gods, they should've been able to afford classier johns."
"They can, they just don't care," Luke muttered bitterly.
"Clarisse's friends were all laughing, and I was trying to find the strength I'd used to fight the Minotaur, but it just wasn't there."
"Because there's no water to add strength, you're nothing without it," Zeus snarled. Poseidon looked ready to bite his head off.
"I didn't realise how much you loved my dad, thanks Big Z," Percy retorted coolly.
""Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets. "Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking.""
Beckendorf winced. "You need better insults."
"Her friends snickered.
Annabeth stood in the corner, watching through her fingers."
"I wasn't!" Future-Annabeth protested.
"You kind of were," Percy admitted.
"Clarisse bent me over on my knees and started pushing my head toward the toilet bowl. It reeked like rusted pipes and, well, like what goes into toilets. I strained to keep my head up. I was looking at the scummy water, thinking, I will not go into that. I won't."
Poseidon grinned and rubbed his hands together excitedly.
"Then something happened. I felt a tug in the pit of my stomach. I heard the plumbing rumble, the pipes shudder. Clarisse's grip on my hair loosened. Water shot out of the toilet, making an arc straight over my head, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the bathroom tiles with Clarisse screaming behind me."
"Prissy," Clarisse warned. Percy winced and shrank down.
"I turned just as water blasted out of the toilet again, hitting Clarisse straight in the face so hard it pushed her down onto her butt. The water stayed on her like the spray from a fire hose, pushing her backward into a shower stall.
She struggled, gasping, and her friends started coming toward her. But then the other toilets exploded, too, and six more streams of toilet water blasted them back. The showers acted up, too, and together all the fixtures sprayed the camouflage girls right out of the bathroom, spinning them around like pieces of garbage being washed away."
"'Like pieces of garbage'," Clarisse quoted bitterly.
"Sorry?" Came Percy's response.
"As soon as they were out the door, I felt the tug in my gut lessen, and the water shut off as quickly as it had started."
"Good control," Poseidon smiled at his son.
"The entire bathroom was flooded. Annabeth hadn't been spared. She was dripping wet, but she hadn't been pushed out the door. She was standing in exactly the same place, staring at me in shock."
Future-Annabeth narrowed her eyes at him. "I still need to get you back for that."
"I looked down and realized I was sitting in the only dry spot in the whole room. There was a circle of dry floor around me. I didn't have one drop of water on my clothes. Nothing."
"Wow," Poseidon whispered. "And this is without training."
"I stood up, my legs shaky.
Annabeth said, "How did you…"
"I don't know."
We walked to the door. Outside, Clarisse and her friends were sprawled in the mud, and a bunch of other campers had gathered around to gawk. Clarisse's hair was flattened across her face. Her camouflage jacket was sopping and she smelled like sewage. She gave me a look of absolute hatred. "You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."
I probably should have let it go, but I said, "You want to gargle with toilet water again, Clarisse? Close your mouth.""
Clarisse looked ready for murder, growling deep in her throat like a dog.
"Her friends had to hold her back. They dragged her toward cabin five, while the other campers made way to avoid her flailing feet.
Annabeth stared at me. I couldn't tell whether she was just grossed out or angry at me for dousing her.
"What?" I demanded. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking," she said, "that I want you on my team for capture the flag."
"Damn straight!" Future-Annabeth laughed. "Both me and you on a team, we always win."
"Yeah," Percy agreed. "When you were missing, we definitely lost. And me and Thalia got into a fight. That was not fun."
Future-Annabeth turned to look at him. "Wait, really? Is that why you're so used to her shocks now?"
"Yeah," Percy sighed.
Past-Annabeth stared at them. "What?"
"I don't even want to question it anymore," Luke shook his head.
"We shall continue then?" Hestia asked, holding out the book. "Or shall we have another break?"
"BREAK! BREAK! BREAK! BREAK!" Most of the throne room chanted.
Hestia laughed. "Alright, alright, we'll have a break. Come back in fifteen minutes!"
Mot of the demigods sprinted out, all going in different directions.
Zeus sighed and rubbed his face. "Hestia, I think you just rained hell."
