-️-️-️-️*-️-️-️-

There's too much attached to her right now. All these panels and knobs and weapons…

But holy fuck! This is not how things were supposed to end.

He was supposed to be gone and that was that, but no! Now's he's stuck here!

Constantly reminding me of my crush, of my mistakes, of everything!

And he's getting special treatment?! What is the headmaster thinking!

The magnetism explodes in a final burst of anger. Everything is flying outwards now, some pieces going several hundred feet away, hitting cars, buildings, and even people. RWBY are knocked back several feet into some trees.

A symphony of shattering windows breaks the post-explosion silence.

An audible squelch is heard, as some shrapnel goes straight through an unfortunately placed stack of pancakes bought by a certain pink-haired girl.


Ahem… orange hair? I thought Nora's hair was pink, because I didn't bother to really look at the characters before starting on this. So Nora now has pink hair. Also, this officially qualifies this as an "Nora has Pink Hair" AU fic. That's why all of this shit is happening, I have officially declared it headcanon.


But Pyrrha, in her fit of rage, doesn't notice any of this.

"I'm tired of dealing with this shit!"

She bolts off in the direction of the Emerald Forest, looking for a more "productive" use of that anger…

-️-️-️-️Jaune POV️-️-️-️-

Welcome to an epic dogfight for the ages!

I'm team Vale and Ren is team Mistral.

This shit is awesome! We're both racing to see who can clear out the most Grimm from Mountain Glenn. And I'm winning!

Jaune's character then gets clawed by a Beowulf and dies.


Beowolf. Another common mistake.


"God Dammit!"

Ren is stoic as always. He's only got a 9mm pistol but he's just wrecking them with the most precise shooting I have ever seen.

Now I've respawned! Fuck yeah! Time to show everyone how it's done!

I go behind one of the buildings and surveil the area. Oh shit! Two beowolves right around the corner! I take out my sword and cut through the wall AND through both their necks.

Got a four kill lead!

But that evaporates as Ren, on the roof of a former hospital, fires an absolutely PERFECT shot, going through 4 different types of Grimm, head-shotting them all.

Truly, he is an impressionist.


A reference to my favorite flash game of all time, Amorphous+! It's a good game. You should check it out! Otherwise, this is one of the better lines so far.


I look for a spot to use my grenade, and I notice a choke point right at the entrance of the police building. Must be something good there because the Grimm are flooding it!

I get up on a ledge, throw it down and… BOOM!

15 kills!

Ren looks displeased at that one. I don't blame him, because I'm just that good!

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

That's not the game.. that's my scroll? I thought I turned that off earlier…

I put my character on a rooftop and open my scroll up. Thank god Level 1 doesn't have any flying Grimm.

WARNING! AURA LEVELS CRITICAL!

What the fuck?! I tap the notification and the Team Health app, an app that all team leaders have installed to check the team's general state, opens.


Nice mega-generic name.


Usually this goes off only during spars, but why is it going off now?

The first thing I see is Pyrrha's section flashing an uncomfortable shade of red.

My heart drops. She got attacked, didn't she!

"Ren pleasepleaseplease look at this! Pleasepleaseplease!"

If Jaune is acting like Nora, something is really wrong. He stops taking advantage of Jaune's distractions and pauses the game.


Really? This Jaune portrayal makes me almost vomit. Wasn't he supposed to be a leader or something? There's a bunch of other ways to do this that aren't complete garbage.


"What is it?"

I turn the screen to him. I can see his eyes turn into fear in real time.

Uh oh…

"Jaune you need to go find her! NOW!" Ren lobs me Crocea Mors so hard it hurts my chest. I drop my scroll and head off at light speed, desperately searching for her.

The first place I go is the Emerald Forest. She has to have gotten ambushed there!

"I'm coming for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Ren picks up Jaune's scroll, which is miraculously not cracked from being dropped on the floor.

He looks on the screen and confirms, yes, Pyrrha's aura is at critical levels. 3% to be exact. Just then it ticks up to 4%.

"Good thing she is recovering, but…"

The dot showing her location is headed straight for the Emerald Forest.

She must have gotten angry…

Ren opens up the "Emotional State" section to confirm. And what he finds is something that shakes even him, the master of emotions…

The indicator is a square divided into 4 sections:

Red, representing anger, in the top left,
Yellow, representing happiness, in the top right,
Blue, representing sadness, in the bottom right,
And Green, representing envy, in the bottom left.


Missed a chance to use the political compass colors here. Sad.


Normally it hovers either neutral or slightly happy, with some occasional trips to the other quadrants depending on the person's mood.

Pyrrha's chart reads like a 2 year old attempting a coloring book, with the line bouncing between all 4 quadrants haphazardly. And right now?

It's bouncing between anger and envy. Multiple times a second.

Suddenly his mind snaps, not to Jaune, but to RWBY. What the hell did Pyrrha do to them!

He shoots off a text to them as fast as his fingers can type… and then goes back to the game. He finishes the Grimm off effortlessly. Team Mistral wins 74-54! Man life is good.


Hey Ren, your teammate is extremely angry, and maybe has the potential to injure a first-year team, and you just sent your team leader off to find her, which, given that she is angry as all hell and you don't know where she is, might fuck him up too. What are your feelings right now?

Life is good!


Back in some trees

RWBY are stacked on top of each other in a clearing, drunk off their minds. An assortment of leaves and metal are in a pile three inches thick on top of them.

If it wasn't for their aura, they would have died in the explosion, but they have only minor scratches.

They are barely awake as it is, with little energy to move.

*PING* Ruby's scroll goes off at max volume. Now fully awake, she shifts out from under the pile, taking the rest of the team down with them.

Weiss, the least drunk of the four, gracefully flutters down using her glyphs. The rest are not so lucky, tumbling down hard onto the dirt, groaning in general annoyance.

Ruby turns on her scroll and sees the following message from Ren:

"Pyrrha has gone off the rails! Are you guys okay?!"

"Haha Pyrrha is a train! Choo Choo! All aboard! Hahahaha!"

Weiss snatches the scroll from her hand and reads the message.

She calls Ren, who picks up immediately.

"Where is she?"

"Heading for the Emerald Forest."

"Are you sure she isn't just drunk?! Why did you text Ruby about this!"

"Her emotional state is a mess and her Aura is low. You need to make sure she doesn't get herself killed fighting Grimm!"

"Right We're-

"Mister Conductor! Are you on the Pyrrha train! Gimme some tickets please!"

"What happened to Ruby!"

"Too much to explain right now. I guess we'll go over there eventually."

"I need you guys ASAP. Pyrrha's mad because Jaune didn't get expelled. You need-" *beep*

After hearing Jaune's name, Weiss hangs the scroll up. She knows Ozpin can see what's happening to Pyrrha and has no reason to move. Ozpin will save her if she overextends herself.


If I would have been smart enough to structure the call such that the 'I guess we'll go over there eventually' was after hearing about Jaune's name, this would have been a good (relatively) scene. But no. Now you get to try to figure out why the fuck Weiss is indifferent toward Pyrrha. Which is also wrong given the cliché 'I wanna get close with Pyrrha' earlier on. Really, this fic might as well have been called 'Clusterfuck'.


Not wanting to think about Jaune, and now assuming the role of team leader due to Ruby's "condition", she makes an executive decision…

"Alright team, we gotta go!"

"These muscles are big…"

"Yang, that's a light bulb. But that's not the point. We're going back home."

"Why?"

"Are we going on the Pyrrha train! YESSSSSS!"

She uses a glyph to shut Ruby up. And puts one on Yang and Blake too for good measure.

She uses yet more glyphs to drag them back behind her, moving slowly toward the dorm. She's really gonna pay for this tomorrow…

"Why is it always me?!"


Glyphs can do anything!


-️-️-️-️Jaune POV️-️-️-️-

I'm at the forest! I swear I ran faster than Usain Bolt back there.


Hello there, completely random insertion of something on Earth for absolutely no fucking reason at all!


But I gotta save Pyrrha! With Crocea Mors, and a fresh bout of motivation, the small Grimm stand no match.

Black smoke of the small Beowolves fill the air. I cut down one of the trees and use it to climb up, up, up!

I'm on top of the trees now! I have to be able to see her from here!

...Where is she?! Where is she!

I look around desperately for that scarlet hair, and find nothing.

There's not even a clearing! How is this possible!

I jump down from the tree. I catch some branches on the way. Ouch!

But the pain means nothing to me. Not now.

I look through the trees. Hundreds and hundreds of trees.

Not a single hair.

Not a single javelin hole.

Not a single footprint.

Nothing.

Where the fuck is she! I do the only thing I can and venture deeper inside the forest. She has to be there!

*rumble rumble rumble rumble rumble* SCREEEEEEEEEE!*

That's an Ursa Major! I climb some branches and get back on top of a tree, looking through the dense fog.

And then I see it.

Hundreds of Grimm are retreating. This has never happened before! Oobleck would love to see this!

Beowolves, Ursas, Boarbatusks, and even a King Taijitu are bolting away!


Ursai. -sincerely, herbiecide the grammar nazi.


But why? Just then a spear flies over my head into one of the Taijitu's head, cutting it clean off. That's Pyrrha's spear!

I move toward that direction. The Grimm's footsteps begin to taper off. They are all gone…

I see the scarlet hair. There's no mistaking it. She's right next to me.

"Pyrrha! I found you! Let's go back to the dorm!"

Why is she putting her shield in the tree? And why does it look like she's charging up?! And that tree is moving so fucking fa-

A white comet is seen flying far, far away from the Emerald Forest. At 7:30. What the fuck?!

(A/N: I know what you're thinking: What the fuck is going on? What the fuck are you planning?! I'm gonna let you in on a secret… THERE IS NO PLAN! I'm just writing shit in until I get bored or trap myself in a clusterfuck. Toodles!)


You should be impressed that I managed to get something even slightly plausible out of this for the remaster. I mean just look at it. The sad thing is, this still beats 95% of RWBY fanfics on Wattpad because I can actually sentence properly.