"Abnormal increase in blood flow to fourth quadrant of the brain, section 8," DeeDee intoned. "No other remarkable abnormalities to report."
"Nothing?" Kylo Ren snapped. "Nothing at all?"
"Puncture wound of .5 units in length above the right shoulder blade—no infection detected. Mild dehydration overall."
Rey lay very still on the small metal bunk. He was wearing his helmet again. He'd put it on well before they'd boarded his transport and though she couldn't see his reaction, she thought she could detect something in his voice—panic.
"Again!" he demanded.
For the third time, DD-13 turned toward her and a flash of bright, green light caused her to close her eyes as she was scanned.
"No further abnormalities to report," DeeDee repeated.
"I'm no use to you now," Rey decided. "I've been damaged—haven't I? I can't feel anything… not anger, not hatred… not even love or happiness. How irksome that must be for you. I'll never be the great, dark weapon you intended."
"Temporary. It's only temporary. There's no damage. No reason to believe that—"
"You said that this numbness would go away after I slept. It hasn't. You don't know that it's temporary. I think it very likely that it isn't. I suppose Snoke will order you to kill me now, and like the good pet that you are, you'll follow his orders, won't you?" Rey yawned and sat up, as though the answer was inconsequential.
She could feel his anger and frustration. It was building, like a dark cloud on the horizon. A few more words and the storm would come.
"It's something of a relief, really," she shrugged. "You've spent all this time playing with my head, trying to manipulate me into feeling what you wanted me to feel… fear, anger, hatred, and sometimes… sometimes it even seemed like you wanted me to feel…"
Rey allowed her voice to trail off as she smirked and raised an eyebrow suggestively. His gloved hand tightened into a fist.
"Anyhow, its back-fired, hasn't it? Do you suppose Snoke will really kill you as well? How ironic that would be, to know that even as a Dark apprentice, I've managed to serve the Resistance—"
His lightsaber blazed hotly, its beam flashed through the air so rapidly as he brought it down, that it looked like a blur of red light. Kylo Ren whirled and slashed through the mounted table beside him, swinging his blade again and again until the table was reduced to a pile of smoking bits of black metal.
He was panting as he straightened up and replaced his hilt.
"It really is too bad that YOUR anger couldn't be weaponized," Rey sneered, "you never would have needed Starkiller-"
Rey's hands flew to her throat. Her air was gone! She couldn't breathe. Panicking she glanced toward Kylo Ren only to see that his hand was extended toward her. He was… he was using the Force to choke her.
In an instant, her air flow returned and she sucked in so great a breath that she coughed and then gasped for more. Her eyes stung with tears as she massaged her throat.
"Rey…" he mumbled. "I didn't…"
He took a few cautious steps, his hand still reaching for her. Rey scooted back as far as she could on the bunk, pressing her back to the wall.
"Don't touch me!" she hissed. "Get away from me."
He stopped, his open hand curling into a fist which dropped to his side.
"Fear," he growled. "You feel fear. Did you think you could lie to me, scavenger?"
She realized her mistake at once, but the anger she had so carefully hidden away burst forth at that moment to render her heedless.
"I lied!" she agreed, her voice rising shrilly. "You're right, I lied! You want the truth, monster? The truth is that I hate you. I hate you so much that it scares me. You are a loathsome, irredeemable beast, and I regret not killing you when I had the chance. Yes, I hate you, and I fear you, and I understand now why the Sith kill their masters."
The dark figure before her slowly nodded its head before turning away from her.
"Then… you have made progress," he remarked, and before she could gather her wits enough to make sharp reply he was gone.
Rey leapt up, intent on not letting him get away, but found the door had locked behind him. She was a prisoner once more.
With a mostly suppressed scream of rage, she picked up the nearest thing to her—a medical holodex—and hurled it at the wall.
"Are you injured, Patient 42590?" DeeDee inquired.
"No! I'm… I'm just…" Rey threw her hands up and shook her head. She didn't have the words to describe her condition.
"Then may I take the opportunity to relay a communication that was left for you?"
"A communication?" she repeated.
"I was given a communication with instructions to deliver it to you at such a time when you would be alone."
"From Brick? A message from Brick? I thought he—"
"MT 5927 was reassigned. May I relay his communication?"
"Yes, yes please," she agreed.
A few seconds later, Brick's tiny, transparent figure flickered into being as it crouched before her in the light of a beam which shone down from DD-13's chest cavity. He seemed to prod at something unseen before standing up to face her.
"If you are listening to this, I suppose you already know what I've done. I'm sorry, Rey. I never said I was a brave man. If it's any consolation, I really did want to leave with you. You made me believe that it was possible… for a little while anyway. I'm leaving tonight, but there is something I want you to have—something you might need if you get the chance to run. Good luck, Rey, and I AM sorry."
Brick's ghostly form moved out of frame and then the light flickered and went off.
"What has he done?" Rey whispered. "DeeDee, what does he mean? What is it he's done?"
"I believe what MT5927 referred to is the deal he made with Commander Ren. He traded information in order to be reassigned to his old position aboard the Finalizer," DD-13 replied.
"What information?"
"That you were planning to escape and that he encouraged you in order to learn what your intentions were."
"No."
"Yes. Though the information he traded was not technically correct to my knowledge. He informed Commander Ren that you had promised him money and other rewards from the Resistance if he would procure Resurrection Dust and use it to help you bribe the captain of a resupply ship to let you on board."
"I don't believe it."
"I can assure you that I was in attendance, though I did not make any formal recording of-"
"Why? Why would he do such a thing?" she cried, twisting her hands together in her lap.
"I would hypothesize that his decision was made as a direct result of the human feeling of fear. Commander Ren is well-known for the ability to discern the secrets of those around him. MT5927 was most likely afraid of discovery and subsequent punishment."
Rey wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed tightly. She wanted to scream. Kylo Ren knew that she had merely been acting the part of a loyal apprentice, and also believed that she attempted to enlist the assistance of a First Order Stormtrooper in an escape attempt. In fact, he had likely been informed of them before she had killed Yure, perhaps even longer, and yet he had made no mention of it.
"Would you like to see what—"
The door hissed open and Kylo Ren entered the room.
"…what the medical holodex suggests for shallow puncture wounds?" DeeDee finished.
"There's been a change of plans. Our arrival on Korriban will be delayed," Kylo announced.
"Why?" she asked.
He stood silently before her, no doubt taking in her miserable form and wet eyes. He did not answer.
"Fine. I don't care," she mumbled.
Rey winced and moved away as he crouched down beside her. She could see herself reflected in his visor. It reminded her of the time she had awoken on Starkiller—seeing him for the first—no, second time, crouched before her, waiting for her to wake up. It hadn't occurred to her then, but it was odd position to take—certainly it couldn't have been comfortable. How long had he waited that way, watching her sleep? He was watching her now.
"When I was a child, and my mother brought me to Master Luke, you didn't want to teach me. You didn't want to be bothered with me at all, but you didn't kill me along with Master Luke's other students. Why? Did you know then what I was capable of? Were you planning to use me even then?" she asked.
"No."
"Why did you spare me?"
"Ben Solo saved you. It was his last act."
"Because you killed him that day as well," she murmured.
"Yes."
"Why did you do it? Why did you destroy everything Master Luke had worked for?"
"Because it was necessary."
"Necessary to kill children—padawans?"
"Yes. They were corrupted—loyal to greedy politicians, or homeworld alliances. Even those that had not yet become pawns had loyalties not to principles, but to people or things. Luke Skywalker was training children to become nothing more than mercenaries."
"And you knew better than him," she scoffed.
"Yes. If I had allowed the others to leave as they wished—as Master Luke ordered me—they would have done as they intended and supported the Separatist movement within the Senate. The Republic would have torn itself apart. We would have returned to how things were during the Clone Wars. I did what I had to do. By ending the Jedi, I destroyed a lingering threat to our galaxy. The Jedi have outlived their usefulness."
"You did what Snoke told you to do," she said quietly, still wary of his anger.
"No, Rey. It was my decision, and it was not made easily."
Rey sighed heavily and massaged her forehead with the palm of her hand. She suspected that he was lying. Whether it was to her or to himself she couldn't say.
"Rey, come with me. There is something I want you to see."
She had long since lost track of the days which had passed between her capture and the present time. Finn would not come for her, nor would master Luke. Even Brick had betrayed her, taking with him her only means of escape. She was alone again, abandoned, and though Kylo Ren was to blame for all of it, he was also crouched before her, his voice gentle, and his gloved hand reaching for hers.
She could tell herself that she was only pretending not to hate him- that she was pretending in order to catch him off guard later on, but that wasn't entirely true. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to believe that there was still something good in him that might be salvaged, and in the rare moments when he spoke quietly and his touch was gentle, she could almost believe him… almost.
That she wanted to believe him, even after everything that he had done to her likely spoke to how badly he'd brutalized her. This, she understood, and yet it changed nothing.
What was it he'd taught her about intent? She reached out with her mind, surprised at how easy it was now—but then, they were no longer on Baudere—and brushed across the surface of his thoughts. She saw herself through his eyes—small, cowering away from him, choking, staring back at him with eyes full of unshed tears. She felt his reaction to her fear, an almost visceral pain, and the corresponding wave of self-hatred that followed. He was sorry. He intended to make it up to her.
Reluctantly, she took the hand he offered and allowed him to help her to her feet.
He led her to the door. She gave one last look to DD-13 before following him.
The hallway led to the ship's cockpit where the pilot glanced back once over his shoulder at them, and then studiously ignored their presence.
"Look," he said, nodding toward the window. "Do you see it?"
She saw nothing for a moment, but then a small, blue planet came into view.
"Is it Korriban?" she murmured.
"No. That is Nawa—a planet just beyond the outer rim which holds very little life above the oceans."
As they approached, and the planet grew larger, she could see that it was mostly water—a tiny planet covered in vast oceans.
"What are we doing here?" she asked.
His answer was little more than a nod in the direction of the planet. He wanted her to watch their approach. There was something he wanted her to see.
The ship descended into the atmosphere of Nawa, and for a second Rey was blinded by the brightness. After so long in the dark, the reflection of the sunlight across the water was too much for her eyes.
"You're so lonely… so afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep, you'd imagine an ocean…"
The words he'd spoken in the interrogation room long ago, echoed in her memory. Could it be?
The ship coasted over the ocean, descending lower and lower. They were going to land. Across the horizon, a faint smear of green and gold appeared.
"I see it. I see the island…"
Rey sucked in a sharp breath as the island seemed to grow from the distant edge of the water. She could see it—that same island. It was real. It was all real.
She whirled to face him.
"How did you find it? How did you know that it was a real place?" she demanded.
"We'll be landing soon," he said. "Here is the sunlight you wanted so desperately. We have very little time to spare. I suggest you make use of it."
The transport slowed and hovered over the beach before making a careful descent to land. Rey turned and quickly made her way down the hallway to the door-ramp. She could hear his footsteps behind her, but she was faster and raced down the ramp the minute it was open.
She squinted in the brightness of what seemed to be a mid-morning sun, and made her way sure-footed through the sand.
There was someone she had to find—something she suspected but couldn't quite believe. She rounded the curve of the beach and raced toward the woods, finding the old, overgrown footpath almost immediately.
It was real, it was all real… and if the ocean existed, and the island existed, then the boy was real as well.
She followed the footpath all the way to the house, stopping for a moment before the wide steps that led up to the entryway. It was all the same, even the long white curtains which blew with the wind through the open doorways and tall windows.
Kylo Ren had stopped before he'd gotten that far into her memory. He'd never seen the boy who lived in that house alone. A boy she's always believed she'd invented. A boy who
Rey flew up the steps, pausing for a moment on the threshold of the arched entryway. The white curtain whipped at her body as though struggling to pull her inside.
"Hello?" she called. "Hello?"
The curtain flapped again, and now that she was closer, she could see that it wasn't quite as white as she remembered. She could see the frayed edges around the bottom and the way old dried leaves skittered across the doorway and into the house. There was a musty smell which seemed to come from within.
"Hello?" she called again, bravely stepping inside.
The house was almost as she remembered, with the bottom level open to the elements, but she had never seen debris from the forest spreading about the floor, and it was empty of furniture. It gave her the unwelcome feeling that the house had been abandoned long since.
There was one more place she should look. Carefully, she crossed the debris-strewn floor to the winding staircase and made her way to the upper floor where slept. She was greeted by the same room, the same bed, and the same views of the ocean from the balcony window, but he was not there. He had not been there for a long while.
Footsteps on the staircase made her heart race with anticipation, and she turned to see… to see the dark figure of Kylo Ren approaching her.
"He's gone," she whispered, more to herself than to him.
Kylo reached up and unlatched his helmet. Slowly, he lifted it from his head, and let it drop heavily to ground.
"Is he?"
"You know, don't you? You saw my memories… all of them. You found this place. You found it when I didn't even know it was real. You must know what happened to him, that boy who lived here," she prodded.
"After what happened on Yavin 4, there was a time—a short time—when I thought that I might still go home. I thought that mother, at least, would understand why I had to do it. She'd spent her entire life in the Senate, only to have them turn on her when her true parentage was discovered. I don't know if I can count the number of assassination attempts she endured.
"I ran and hid in the place I knew she'd be most likely to find me—the very place where she and Han Solo went into hiding when the Separatist Plot to assassinate her was discovered… " His voice trailed off as he brushed past Rey to glance out across the balcony. "I waited a long time, but she never came, and neither did Father. I was alone. There were many nights when I couldn't sleep—when the screams of those doomed ones echoed too loudly in my mind—and so, I would imagine a vast desert. A silent, lonely place where a small girl huddled beneath a vast night sky, as alone as I myself was."
"No," she whispered. "You're using my memories to try and manipulate my feelings again—"
"Am I, Rey? Search your memories, you know it to be true. It never occurred to me that you had watched me, just as I had watched you. I saw the recognition in your eyes the very first time you laid eyes on me—though you convinced yourself otherwise. I knew it would be you. Before Starkiller, before Takodana even… the very first time it was whispered that a girl from Jakku had been spotted with the droid, I knew it would be you. I hoped it wouldn't be, but deep down, I knew."
"That boy—the one from my dreams, he was nothing like you," she shook her head, backing away.
"We have both changed a great deal, have we not?" he countered, advancing on her as she stepped back again.
"You hoped it wouldn't be me… why?" she demanded.
He stopped, seeming to consider it for a moment.
"On Yavin 4, I had planned to end the Jedi that day. I had planned to act quickly, catch the group by surprise, and kill every one of them before they knew what was happening. I knew that Master Luke had grown weak, and would never be able to kill his sister's son, and so I planned to deal with him last, and then, when I knew that there would be no more Jedi, I would kill myself. I hadn't planned on you. I hadn't planned on my hand faltering when I raised my blade above your sleeping body. I hadn't planned on feeling pity, or mercy. I hadn't planned on Ben Solo's weakness destroying my resolve, but that is what happened. I let you live. I let your mother live, and I allowed Luke Skywalker to escape. I lost my only opportunity to destroy the Jedi quickly and entirely because the light in you was stronger than the dark in me. I was… afraid of you."
"Afraid of me?" she repeated.
"Yes. There is no lasting balance between the light and dark sides of the Force. Eventually, the scales will tip one way or the other. We are bound, you and I, but we cannot exist beside one another as we are—either you will succumb to the Dark or…"
"Or you will be pulled to the Light," she finished.
"That will never happen, Rey."
"If what you're telling me is true, then it has happened before," she argued.
"I am stronger now. Stronger than I've ever been. The scale between us has already begun to tip, and I think we both know which direction it will fall."
Rey crossed her arms and shook her head defiantly.
"So certain, are you? You don't know everything, Kylo Ren!"
He took another step towards her. Rey stood her ground, tilting her head back to glare up at him, refusing to be intimidated. Kylo lifted his hand to gently cup her chin.
"You're right," he agreed. "I didn't know that the little girl would grow up to be so…"
His thumb slowly traced the line of her jaw.
"Stop!" she said, pushing his hand away.
She turned away, intending to storm off, but he was faster, catching her around the waist with one arm to pull her against himself.
She could feel his hot breath on the back of her neck.
"I didn't know that I would think about her every moment I'm awake and dream about her while I sleep," he whispered.
Rey shivered as she felt his lips caress her ear.
"I didn't know that I'd want her this way," he whispered. "And I certainly didn't know… that she would feel the same."
"I… I don't," she lied. "You're wrong. I don't feel that way at-at all."
His lips skimmed the back of her neck. She gasped, and as she did, his arm tightened around her waist, pressing her against himself, so that she could feel what strained beneath his robes.
"Tell me to stop then," he mumbled against her neck.
She could feel his tongue run lightly down her spine and across her shoulder as his free hand moved up to cup her breast. He bit down gently as he squeezed her chest.
Rey whimpered as her body went limp against him, and immediately his hand went down, his fingers digging painfully into her inner thigh as he pulled her legs apart.
"STOP!" she shrieked, struggling against the arm that still restrained her.
He let go at once, and Rey stumbled forward, turning to face him.
She wished that she hadn't. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were dark and burning as he stared back at her. She swallowed thickly, trying to think of something to say, some insult or threat to hurl at him, but her mind had gone blank and her mouth was dry and she wanted… she wanted…
She couldn't deny it. He was like a black hole, and every time she got too close to him, she could feel herself being sucked in. Yes, she wanted him.
With an almost savage cry, she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring his lips to hers, and when he moaned in relief against them, she bit his lip and threw her arms up as he yanked her shift up and over her head. Her hands tore desperately at his belt, but he caught them, as he swept her up and dropped her on the bed.
He undressed quickly, ripping his cowl off and pulling his robes over his head. She reached for him, pulling him down on top of herself to kiss him savagely, moaning against his mouth as his hand moved down her torso and between her legs. He paused and leaned away, still staring intently at her as he brought his hand up to suck one finger. His hands were fast—practiced, perhaps— for an instant later, she felt his wet finger trace around her hole and slip inside.
She gasped again, closing her eyes as his finger slid in and out of her.
"Rey," he growled. "Look at me."
She opened her eyes to see his face above hers, just as he added another finger. She whined, moving against his thrusting hand.
"Look at me," he hissed. "You will not pretend I am someone else."
She moaned and nodded her head in agreement.
He withdrew his fingers. She almost cried out, but her breath caught in her throat as she felt the head of his cock pressed against her opening. He was staring into her eyes as he whispered:
"Rey?"
She nodded again, closing her eyes tightly as she felt him slowly push into her.
"Look at me," he murmured.
She opened her eyes to stare into his, shuddering beneath him as he stroked almost unbearably slow, making sure she felt every inch.
"P-please," she gasped.
His lips twisted into their familiar smirk as he thrust hard up into her.
Rey screeched, raking her nails across his shoulder, and driven on by her cries he began to stroke faster and faster. He slipped his hand between their bodies, his fingers working her clit.
"Rey," he groaned.
She could feel it coming, building, a powerful explosion, and when it happened, she cried out and heard his echoing cry as he froze, and then collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily.
Still trying to catch her breath, Rey turned her head to the side, glancing out the open doors to the balcony and to the glare of sunlight reflecting upon the water beyond.
