Chapter 3 – The New President is a Wild One

Kagami's POV

Geez…that girl. She has a huge dirty mouth. Probably dirtier than most of the boys here. Hell, she's like a living breathing real version of those characters from Konata's porno games.

I also hate myself for knowing those kinds of characters in the first place.

But on another note…a shocking one, to be honest…Kuroi-sensei actually ADOPTED that girl?! She's gotta be like…in her mid 20's at least. What's she doing adopting a 17-year-old girl? Did they know each other before now?

Was there a reason why Kuroi-sensei adopted Kirin? And if so…just how bad was it?

"*internal thinking*"

"Yo! Earth to Kagami!"

"H-Huh?! What?!" I was suddenly broken out of my trance of thinking when I heard someone call out my name. And it was then that I noticed Misao and Ayano standing over my desk. "O-Oh…morning, you guys."

"Geez, Kagami. You were spaced out for a while there." Misao said. "Did you get enough sleep?"

"I did. So, I'm not tired. Just…rather flustered."

"Flustered?" Both girls asked.

"When I was coming into the school gates, I ran into this girl who was with Kuroi-sensei. And my God…the mouth on her was dirty beyond compare. Every time she spoke, there was some kind of sexual innuendo. And she wouldn't stop, either."

"Every time she spoke? Damn, we might have someone who's a bigger pervert than Chibikko." Misao said.

"A girl with a dirty mouth…" Ayano said before going silent. "…H-Hey, Kagami-san. Did this girl just happened to be named…Kirin Miyagi?"

"Y-Yeah, that's her." I answered with shock. "You know her, Ayano?"

"I met her last week when I had to come here for a meeting with the Discipline Committee. It was then that I became aware of her consistent innuendos. And it was one hell of an experience."

"I see…" I gained a sweatdrop.

So, we weren't the first people to be blown away by that girl's potty mouth…

"So, she's in the Discipline Committee?" Misao asked. "Kinda hypocritical since she's making sexual comments all the time."

"Um…actually, she's not on the Discipline Committee. She's actually the…"

*INSERT CLASSIC JAPANESE SCHOOL BELL CHIME HERE*

"Ah…well, it's time for the opening ceremony. You'll find out for yourselves there. Come on, let's go." Ayano said before heading off out of the classroom. Leaving both Misao and I confused as hell.

"We'll find out…at the opening ceremony?" Misao asked.

"What could Ayano mean by that?" I asked.


Soon, all students and teachers have gathered up inside the gym for the opening ceremony. A tradition most Japanese schools have in which we each stand in a line by class and listen to the principal (and sometimes other people) blab on in a speech for nearly 2-3 hours.

It's a drag, no doubt. It usually takes up most of the first half and then we go on to the second half after lunch. But there's nothing we can do about it. So, we all just put up with it.

And besides…I currently had more important things to do than to listen to some guy we rarely see talk for hours on end.

"I don't see that Kirin girl anywhere." I said. "What class is she supposed to be in, Ayano?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that she's a third-year like us."

"A third-year?" I thought for a bit. "Oh, yeah…I do remember Kuroi-sensei telling us that earlier."

"Why was this Kirin girl with Kuroi-sensei, anyway?" Misao asked. "Seems kinda suspicious to me."

"Uh…" Hearing that made me remember what Kuroi-sensei said earlier about this whole thing.

"Look, we'll talk about this later. Just…don't tell anyone this, got it?"

She said that…but is she really going to? Most teachers would just say that in order to get us students off their backs about their private lives. And I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case, too.

"I'm…not really sure. Kuroi-sensei didn't really say much about it." I finally said.

"I see…"

"…And now, I shall pass the podium to the next speaker. Ma'am, if you please…"

"Oh, yeah. Kinda forgot the principal was talking this whole time." I said.

"That isn't really a good thing…but I did, too." Ayano said with a sweatdrop.

As the principal stepped off the stage, we saw a girl walking up towards the podium. And this girl…I easily recognized her.

"H-Holy, crap! Th-That's her! The girl from this morning!" I whispered.

"Really? That's Kirin?" Misao asked. "What's she doing up there?"

"Y-You guys…" Ayano said. "…What I was trying to say before was…"

"Hey, is this thing on?" The girl named Kirin asked as she kept flicking the mic with her fingers. Once it was confirmed that it was on, she cleared her throat and began talking.

And what she said…it wasn't sexual in context, but it still gave me tons of undeniable shock.

"*clears throat* Ladies and gentlemen! Bastards and bitches! The name's Kirin Miyagi! And starting today, I'm the new Student Council President of…wait, what's this place called again?"

"Ryōō." The principal said.

"Yeah, that! What he said!"

"Huh?" Most of the student body was confused.

"What?! Are you serious?! Is this some kind of joke?!" I yelled in shock while trying to stay quiet.

"No, Kagami-san. This is real." Ayano said to me.

"You have got to be kidding me…" I then said as I turned my attention back to the blonde-haired girl who has put me in shock more times than a freaking defibrillator.

THIS girl…is our Student Council PRESIDENT?!


Kirin's POV

"…And with all of that said, I promise…as your Student Council President…I will personally make your time here at this school as bonerific as I possibly can! Thank you!"

This was the last part of my speech. And I stepped off the stage with multiple applauses heading my way. I was over-beaming with confidence at this point.

The speech was the last part of the ceremony. And so while everyone was exiting the gym to return to their classes, I stayed outside waiting for Kuroin to meet with me. Mainly to gloat about my awesome speech just now.

But also…I have no idea where my class is. I'm new here, alright?

"Kirin!"

"Hey, Kuroin! How'd you like my speech? Pretty dope, right?"

"Well, it was pretty something! What happened to the speech I wrote for you?"

"Oh, that. Well, I read it…and it was so freaking balls! All that stuff about "school pride" and "honor" and stuff…there wasn't even a single sex joke in sight."

"That's because it was a speech to the entire school. Not a part of your daily vocabulary!"

"Ah, whatever. I'm pretty sure I blew everyone away, anyway. I wonder if some of them ejaculated…"

"That's not what "blown away" means…" Kuroin gained a sweatdrop.

"Anyway…so, where's my class at? Somewhere around here, right?"

"It's Class 3-3 on the third floor. I'll take you there since I have to teach there 1st period."

"Ooh~…1st period with my guardian as the teach. This oughta be interesting. *giggle*"

"Oh, whatever. Just freaking behave when I'm teaching. And that goes for your other teachers, too."

"Okay-Vajay!" I cheered with a thumbs up.

Kuroin then took me to my new classroom and I was soon faced with my new classmates. Already, there were some talking about the speech I made. With some blushing hard from the innuendos I made throughout the whole thing.

Geez…these people are 17 going on 18 and they're blushing from hearing sex jokes and innuendos? Looks like I got a lot of work to do…

"Hey, settle down." Kuroin said to the class. "Now, I'm already sure you know who this is…but I'm doing this anyway." She then turned to me. "Please introduce yourself."

"What up, peeps? Name's Kirin Miyagi. Your Student Council President. Don't be too rough with me~…I wish to have a satisfying time here, too, you know~. *giggle*"

"R-Rough?!" The boys yelled.

"S-Satisfying?!" The girls yelled.

"Aw, geez…cut it out and go sit down!" Kuroin yelled at me. "Go take that seat next to Hiiragi."

"Okay-Vajay!" I cheered. And with multiple sweatdrops staring my way, I made my way to the empty seat and class started as normal.

Though, I couldn't help but to talk with this girl next to me. She kinda looked familiar…

"Hey, you're that girl from this morning, right?" I asked her. "What was your name again?"

"Hiiragi. Kagami Hiiragi."

"I see. Well, Kagami…let's have ourselves a titillating day."

"I-I'd rather not…" Kagami gained a sweatdrop.


Kagami's POV

Kirin Miyagi…her being in my class is one thing. But the fact that she's the Student Council President is a whole other story.

How did someone like her become the president? Aside from her personality…she's a new student here. To be president, you have to be here for all three years…with you succeeding from somebody else.

And then there's the whole thing with Kuroi-sensei. She really adopted this girl…but for what reason, though? It has to be something big and bad, right?

"*internal thinking*"

*NOTIFICATION CHIME*

"Huh?" I was brought out of my train of thought due to getting a text on my phone. From Konata, nonetheless.

"Hey, Kagamin. Coming over for lunch as usual?"

"Oh, yeah…kinda odd that I still go over there even though Tsukasa's gone. Better not keep them wait…"

"Sorry. Something just came up. I'll see you girls after school." Is what I texted on my phone before putting it away. Then, I left the classroom and soon found the room that, with a lot of things…suddenly came to mind.

"Student Council Office…well, here it is. If you want to know more about someone, it's best to just ask them face-to-face. I just hope this goes somewhat seriously…"

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

"Come inside! I'm SPREAD open!"

Maybe this was a bad idea…

I opened the door and saw…well, first off…the room was a mess. And second, I saw the girl known as Kirin standing over multiple boxes filled to the brim with paper. Looking pretty flustered at them all.

"Hey…you're Kirin, right?" I asked.

"Yeah…" Kirin then took one good look at me. "…Oh, wait! You're the girl from my class! Uh…Hiigami, right?"

"N-No…it's Kagami."

"Right...Sorry, I'm not really good with names."

"It's fine. No hard feeling there." I then took a look at the multiple boxes behind her. "So…what's with the boxes? Student Council Work or something?"

"*sigh* Yeah. Kuroin wanted me to get a head start on it. I was eager to do it…until I saw all of this crap. It's a huge load of white stuff in here!"

"I-I see…" I gained a sweatdrop.

This girl can make a sexual innuendo out of anything…

"Wait, where are the other members? Aren't they supposed to help you with this?"

"Well, yeah but…well…there are no other members."

"Huh?" I was confused.

"From what I've been told, they all graduated. Every single position was held on by a third-year. And when they all left back in March, this school was left without a Student Council."

"And so you took over? Despite being new to this school?"

"Well…believe it or not, I have experience. I was the vice-president at my old school."

"Your old school, huh?" I went silent for a bit. "So, then…why come here? If you were going to be president at your old school, wouldn't it had been easier to just stay there and work in a more comfortable area?"

"An easier comfortable area…yeah. That would be nice. But…" Kirin then went dead silent for a bit as she looked away from me. "…Unfortunately…that place is no longer the easier comfortable place I once saw it as. It brings me a fatal memory that I'm currently trying to forget. You know what I mean?"

"W-Wow…I-I see."

So, under that dirty perverted personality of hers is a secret trauma. And she came here as an attempt to get rid of it. Totally not what you see when you first encounter this girl.

Now I feel kinda bad for bringing all this up…

"Well…if you want, I could help you out. O-Or something."

"Really? You wanna help?" Kirin looked at me with shock. "But we just met and all…"

"Hey, I can't just leave you to do all this work. If it were me, I would want help, too."

"Wow…thanks, Kagami. You saved me good like a tampon up my pus…"

"Y-Yeah, sure. Just…don't finish that joke." I gained a sweatdrop.

With lunch only being 50 minutes, we decided to just clean to the point where it looked somewhat decent to stay in and the tables can be used. The boxes of paper were put to the side. As it was too damn much to go through.

Right now, we were eating what was left at the cafeteria. Pretty much done with the work for now.

"Hey, thanks again for helping me out, Kagami." Kirin said to me. "You really didn't have to, though."

"Like I said. If it were me, I would want help, too. So, don't worry about it."

"Wow…you know, you're a lot nicer than I thought you were. This morning, you and that blue-haired girl were yelling at me the whole time."

"Well, anyone would yell at you if you called them an ejaculation pillow. Mainly for how absurd the insult really is."

"Well, she really did remind me of one. Specifically, one of those loli ones that are Not Safe For Work."

"Aren't all ejaculation pillows Not Safe For Work?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"*sigh* You really are a wild one, Kirin. Makes me wonder how you're going to handle being the school's Student Council President."

"Well, I will admit…with it only being me, it's going to be as hard and painful as a kick in the vagine."

Now, I'm actually curious if getting kicked there would actually hurt…

"But once this first week blows over, I'll start looking for people to represent the other positions. Maybe then, I'll spread my white load to them. You know?"

"I see…" I said while completely ignoring the innuendo she had made (I think I'm starting to get used to them already). "…Well, do you have a sign-up sheet or something?"

"Huh? Well, yeah. I do right here. What about it?"

"Let me see." I then took the clipboard away from Kirin, wrote something on it, and then gave it back to her.

You can probably guess what I wrote on it.

"Kagami Hiiragi…V-Vice-President?! Y-You're joining the Student Council?!"

"Please. With your wild-as-hell personality, someone's gotta keep you in check. And luckily for me, I have the experience. Plus, I was the Class President in my first year."

"Woah…Thanks, Kagami! You really are a lifesaver! I owe you BIG for this!" Kirin cheered as she hugged me as tight as she could.

"Sure thing, Kirin. Glad to help."

*INSERT CLASSIC JAPANESE SCHOOL BELL CHIME HERE*

"Well, we should probably get back to class now. We can start fresh with this work tomorrow. Is that good?"

"Okay-Vajay!" Kirin cheered with a thumbs up.

Yeah, I'm definitely getting used to her innuendos… I gained a mental sweatdrop.

And with that said and done, we headed our way back to class to get the second half of the first day done and over with. What originally started off as a normal day of school…ended off with me joining the Student Council on my final year of high school.

This is truly going to be one hell of a year…

Author's Note: And there you have it. The plot fully unfolds. Kagami Hiiragi joins the Student Council. Being run by Kirin Miyagi, a dirty-mouthed girl with personal secrets of her own. Secrets that will be revealed in due time.

So, here's a little fun fact – Kirin's personality…and the concept of this story in general…is based on an anime called Seitokai Yakuindomo. Which is also…my favorite anime of all time. I've watched it more times than any other anime COMBINED. And each time was a blast to watch.

If you haven't watched/heard of Seitokai Yakuindomo, GO WATCH IT! Trust me, you will NOT regret it! It'll have you laughing your ass off! (Fair warning, though. It contains A LOT of sex jokes and innuendos).

So, that's the first three chapters done. Now, I'm going to leave this alone for a while. Mainly to work on other stories…but to also see any feedback. If you like the story so far, feel free to favorite, follow, and/or leave a review. It really means a lot.

Thanks for reading. Later.