I posted this recently on AO3, but thought I'd put it on here too.

I've tried to be as true to character as I could be with this, despite the fact that I think it's actually quite out of character for Thomas to reveal anything like this at all. I've just always wished we could have had a bit more background on Thomas sooooo…

I don't think Anna and Mr Bates are homophobic. They've just never really given same sex couples much thought, so some things are a bit baffling for them, just because of the narrow-minded outlook of the time.

I also can't remember who knows what about what happened with Thomas and Miss Baxter so I hope it makes sense.

Set at the beginning of series 6, around episode 2 or 3, after the fair with the pigs, whenever that was.


Mr Bates and his wife had been called to dress the family for bed late that evening. The Crawleys had been out at a dinner on a nearby estate and arrived back at Downton close to midnight.

When the Bates' got back down to the servant's hall it was apparently empty, and Anna had the naughty idea of sitting down in the quiet with a cup of tea and Mrs Patmore's famous lemon drizzle cake, before they got their coats and headed down to their cottage.

They had just made the tea, and were carrying it through to the servant's hall, when they saw that they weren't on their own after all.

Thomas Barrow was sitting beside the fireplace, staring into the dying embers of the fire, a cigarette in hand.

'Mr Barrow,' Anna said with surprise, as she brought in the tray, shortly followed my Mr Bates.

The under butler stood up quickly when he saw them, turning away for a moment and rubbing his hand over his face before he turned back to face them.

'You've caught us out,' Anna continued. 'We thought that everyone had gone up.'

'Don't mind me,' Mr Barrow said with a wan smile. 'Eat as much cake as you like.'

Anna gave Mr Bates a cheeky look and she sat down at the table with the tea tray.

'Perhaps you'd like to join us, Mr Barrow?' Bates said, as he pulled out a chair and slid down into it, resting his cane against the chair beside him. 'You'd be quite welcome.'

Thomas looked for a moment as though he might say yes, but then he shook his head. 'I wouldn't want to impose.' He turned back towards the fire, the light catching on the side of his pale face as he took a drag of smoke.

'What are you doing up so late anyway, Mr Barrow?' Anna asked, cutting a slice for each of them, as Mr Bates poured the tea.

Thomas gestured without looking at the newspaper that lay on the rocking chair. 'I was looking at job advertisements,' he said, his voice sounding a little defeated.

'It's a shame you have to go, Thomas,' Bates said.

Thomas twisted on the spot to look at him, blowing out a cloud of smoke. 'Why don't you take a leaf out of Andy's book, Mr Bates? Just say you'll be happy to see me leave, then at least you might mean it.'

'Mr Barrow,' Anna said reproachfully, but she shared a look with Mr Bates.

Ah. The mention of Andy must have reminded her.

'Actually, Mr Barrow, could you sit down for a moment?' She shot Mr Bates another look. 'We've been meaning to have a word with you.'

Thomas looked at the seat opposite them for a long moment, taking not one but two drags from his cigarette, before he conceded.

He sat down in the chair slowly, resting his hands on the tabletop, watching them closely. 'What's this about then?'

The under butler had dark shadows under his eyes, made even darker by the low light as he sat with his back to the fire. Perhaps he hadn't been sleeping all that well. Indeed, with his hair only half in its usual pomade, he looked almost dishevelled compared to his usual smart-looking self.

'We've just been meaning to mention to you, Mr Barrow,' Anna said, her voice purposefully light, 'it's probably best if you don't pay too much attention to Andy.' His wife said the words very delicately, clearly hoping it would get her meaning across. It was an awkward conversation topic, but it was better not to leave things left unsaid, if just a quick warning from them could dissuade Mr Barrow from getting the wrong idea.

'And whatever could you mean by that, Mrs Bates?' Thomas asked, his tone polite, but the undercurrent of it practically menacing.

'You might know what I might mean by it, Thomas,' Anna said, a little sternly, but with a generally understanding air. 'Mrs Patmore made it sounded like you were getting a bit ahead of yourself.'

Thomas stared at Anna for a long moment, his gaze unwavering. It was strange, he seemed somewhat lost for words.

'He's got his own things to be getting on with, after all,' Mr Bates added with a nod, when Thomas failed to say anything in way of a reply. Bates said it in what he hoped was a measured way, not by any means trying to start an argument, but now the look Mr Thomas Barrow was giving them would have been better aimed at someone who'd just ran over your cat.

Then he smiled. It was the smile that Mr Bates had learnt to see as more dangerous than a snarl. 'Oh, Mrs Patmore does have a lot to say, doesn't she,' he remarked, his voice breathy.

He tensed his shoulders then and let out a bit of a sigh, not in an indignant or an exasperated way, but in a way that simply looked worn out, as if all the fight had suddenly left him.

Mr Bates hoped that that was the end of it and began to pour them each a cup of tea, Thomas included, but then Thomas looked up at them, his jaw set determinately. 'You all think the same thing, don't you?' he said, shaking his head with apparent disbelief. 'Miss Baxter said the exact same thing to me only this morning.' He didn't look angry, only utterly defeated.

Mr Bates raised an eyebrow. 'It's not like it's some kind of plot against you.'

'I beg to differ,' Thomas snapped.

'It's just, we all know where being friendly with you gets people, don't we?' Anna said, with a joking tone.

'And where would that be, Anna?' Thomas said, sticking his chin out.

'I only mean, you have a tendency to take advantage of people, Mr Barrow,' Anna said, with a small chuckle, trying to make light of it. 'You can hardly deny it.'

Mr Bates was a little more wary. He saw Thomas' eyes widen, before he schooled his face quickly into a grim smile. 'I can't take much more of this,' the under butler said quietly, his tone now a lot closer to one of despair.

Thomas stubbed out his cigarette and immediately took out a fresh one. The phosphorus of the match hissed as he struck it, lighting the end of the fag quickly. He took a long drag then, gazing at Anna as the smoke twirled up above his head.

'So basically, what you're saying is that I'm only ever nice because I have some ulterior, or may I say it, indecent motive?'

'Well,' Mr Bates put in, considering, 'history does have a way of repeating itself, Mr Barrow.' He was only half joking of course, but the other half was still there. And Anna was right, Thomas could hardly deny it.

Thomas smiled again, in that kind of wan way that wasn't a smile at all. 'Of course, because I just popped into existence as a footman at Downton, didn't I? Intent on creating misery for everyone else who worked here.' He took another drag from his cigarette.

'I know that Andy is not interested in me in any other way that you might be referring to, and I will tell you categorically now, I am not interested in him either. Not in the slightest. And despite what everyone in this damn house seems to think, the idea of taking advantage of someone in that way makes me feel physically sick.' Thomas said it with an expression of utter disgust too, like he really meant it. 'When it comes to… relationships,' he continued, 'I have only ever wanted something mutual with somebody, something fucking wholesome and authentic, and…'

'Mr Barrow!' Anna said, her tone easily conveying her shock, 'you shouldn't use that kind of language.'

Thomas just pouted and pulled his cup of tea towards him flippantly, taking a sip.

'You're being very dramatic,' Anna said dismissively. 'Here.' She pushed a slice of the lemon drizzle towards him, and the cup of tea that Mr Bates had poured. 'Try a bit of the cake,' she said brightly. 'It's Mrs Patmore's speciality,'

'Don't mention that woman to me,' Thomas huffed.

'There's no need to be rude, Mr Barrow,' Mr Bates put in bluntly.

'Well, I'm not allowed to be nice to anyone, so there's not much left after that, is there?'

'We're not saying you can't be nice, Mr Barrow,' Anna said, shaking her head and catching Mr Bates' eye.

Bates looks at Thomas bemusedly. 'It's a lot nicer for all people concerned if everyone is nice to one another.'

Thomas was giving them that look again, like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. 'I can't win, can I?' He sighed, picking up the slice of cake and staring down at it. 'I try to be nice, and you all think I'm out to get something nefarious. I keep a distance, and I'm accused of being cold and uncaring.'

'But you don't have to go so far as to be mean, do you?' Anna said, in the same tone she might use to talk to Master George.

'It's hard to not be ungenerous towards people when it seems like the whole world is out to get you,' Thomas said bitterly. 'I've tried being nice to people before, and I'll tell you, it doesn't work.'

'What do you mean, it doesn't work?'

Thomas looked at Mr Bates incredulously over the top of the lemon drizzle, before letting it drop back down to the plate without taking a bite. 'You really don't get it, do you?'

'Why don't you enlighten us then?' Mr Bates said, a little acerbically, taking a sip of tea.

'When I was younger, I was a lot more considerate, believe it or not' Thomas said adamantly, 'but a boy like that, being nice to people, wanting to be close to people? It was surely just some attempt at moral corruption or obscenity. And people still think the exact same thing,' he maintained, gesturing at Mr Bates and his wife.

'Thomas, really, we don't think…' Anna began, but Thomas cut across her.

'No, Anna, please, can I just say my piece?'

She gave him an unsure look, but finally nodded.

'It's just a little… hurtful…' he faltered over the word, like he was rolling it about on his tongue, 'when I hear what you all think… that I'm being predatory,' he hissed the word under his breath, and Mr Bates was surprised to hear Thomas' voice actually break a little as he tried to keep his face blank, 'or taking advantage when it comes to Andy, when it's so far from the truth that it's almost laughable. Am I not allowed to want to be friendly with people? To make friends with people? Just normal, ordinary friendship?'

He looked between them, as if he was expectant of an answer, but it seemed neither Bates nor his wife knew what to say for a minute. The cake lay forgotten by all. In fact, the bright and happy yellow loaf sitting between them had never looked more out of place.

Anna had leant closer to Mr Bates, he noticed, as Thomas had been speaking, but she was never one to give up a fight easily.

'I just don't understand you sometimes,' she said, folding her arms across her chest. 'You say you want to make friends, but other people have tried to be nice to you. Miss Baxter wants to be your friend, and you won't let her…'

'I'm trying with Miss Baxter. I really am trying to forgive her,' Thomas said, with a faraway look in his eyes. 'I think I'm nearly there. I like Miss Baxter, I think. It's just hard for me to trust her.'

'You're trying to forgive her?' Mr Bates asked incredulously.

Thomas looked up at him, a little perplexed. 'Well, yes.'

Mr Bates raised his eyebrows, shooting a glance at his wife. 'She has been nothing but nice to you since she arrived, nothing but nice to anyone and…' he looked over his shoulder, checking they were indeed the only ones still up. 'We heard about you blackmailing her.'

'What did you hear about it?' Thomas asked quickly, gazing steadily at them, his lips a little pursed. Mrs Bates wasn't really surprised that he didn't deny it.

'Just,' Anna said slowly, 'we heard Mr Molesey saying you'd been holding something over her, using it to make her spy for you on what was going on in the house.'

'Oh,' Thomas said apathetically. 'Yes, I did do that.'

'So, you blackmailed her,' Mr Bates summarised, shaking his head, 'and you think that she's the one who has to seek forgiveness from you?'

'You don't know the half of it,' Thomas bit back.

The under butler was alluding to something there, that much was clear. Mr Bates hated to admit it, but part of him was strangely curious about what fuelled the terse enigma that was Thomas. Like he'd said, people didn't just pop into existence as conniving and bitter as Thomas without due course.

'I'm not blackmailing her anymore,' Thomas said indifferently, tapping his cigarette into the ashtray.

'But she's always been so pleasant, and you just brought her here to…'

Thomas let out a bark of humourless laughter. He took one last sharp drag and stubbed the fag out into the ash. 'My God! Do you want me to tell you the whole sorry story?' He tried to make his voice sound measured, but the animosity was practically seeping out of him.

He opened his mouth to carry on, but then his shoulders deflated a little, and he looked off to the side.

'Actually, no. If I say anything, you'll just say I'm trying to defame her character even more. Best I don't say anything at all.'

Mr Bates and Anna shared a look, whilst Thomas was busy looking at nothing under the table.

'Perhaps that's where part of the problem lies, Thomas,' Anna said, not unkindly. 'You never let anyone in, and then you're surprised and angry when people make assumptions.'

Thomas huffed a laugh. He looked between them for a moment, as if sizing them up. 'Most of the time, explaining anything about myself would likely result in someone running off to fetch a constable…' his gaze was unwavering as he watched for their reactions. 'Or a vicar,' he added, as an afterthought.

'It's not always related to that, is it?' Mr Bates asked, wanting to roll his eyes.

'When it comes to me and Miss Baxter, it certainly is,' Thomas said quietly. He sighed and fumbled for his cigarettes once again, setting the packet on the table as he took one out. Mr Bates was starting to think that cigarettes were something akin to a comfort blanket for Thomas. He didn't even need to light it, it seemed. He just twiddled it between his fingers.

'Thomas,' Bates started, not missing the flash of a glare sent his way at the use of the under butler's first name, 'if you think that telling us might make us see you in a better light, then I am willing to listen. In fact, I'd be happy to.'

Anna nodded too, clasping her hands on the desk. 'I'd like it if you could be open with us, Mr Barrow. It seems like something colleagues, and dare I say friends, should do.'

'That, and it'll be the juiciest piece of gossip you've heard all year,' Thomas muttered maliciously.

Anna gave him a mildly scolding look again, but Mr Bates could see how she was trying to warm Thomas up, and she certainly looked encouraging, her face smiling softly as her skin caught the orange glow of the fire.

Thomas sat up a little straighter. 'Well, like I said, I don't want to paint anyone in a bad light. Phyliss may not come out of this tale too favourably, but that's not to mention,' he continued, tilting his head thoughtfully, 'I certainly won't, at least where most of the public are concerned. Just, can you please try not to hold it against either of us, if you can?'

Mr Bates was flummoxed. He'd never heard downstairs-Barrow say please before where he actually meant it.

Thomas was flicking his gaze between them, waiting for their response, and Mr Bates nodded quickly.

'Crickey, here we go,' he grumbled. 'So… Miss Baxter and I grew up together, as I suppose you already know?' He didn't wait for them to respond, but leant forwards in his seat, not looking at them.

'We lived on a terraced street like this.' He ran his fingers down the side of one of the planks of wood that made up the tabletop. 'In Manchester, packed to the brim with families. I lived at the end of the street, next to these old storage sheds, with my dad and older sister. Mum died when I was little.'

Bates was a little startled to hear that Thomas' mother was dead. Although, when he thought about it, Thomas had barely ever mentioned his family before.

'Phyllis lived next door. She and my sister, Molly, were best friends, always sitting on the wall at the far end of the street after school and gossiping. Phyllis was quite fond of me then, I think, and me of her. I might say I liked her more than my sister, and she was always coming over to help babysit me when my father worked late in the shop.'

He paused, looking up at the married couple from where he'd been describing the street. They both glanced up at him after a moment.

'Are you sure you want to know this?'

'Yes, go on. This is fascinating,' Anna said, a little playfully. 'We've worked together for how many years, and we know next to nothing about you. I never even knew you had a family.'

'I did pop out of thin air then after all, I suppose?' Thomas asked, a little joke in his own voice, his eyebrow raised.

'Something like that,' Anna said with a noncommittal shrug and a small smile.

'So, anyway. Across from us, a few doors down, were the Travis family. Billy was a year older than Phyliss and my sister. He had a younger brother too, Louis. He was my best friend, and…' he stopped again, just staring at the table for a moment. 'I can't believe I'm telling you this,' he muttered. 'You really want to know?'

'Yes, Thomas,' Anna said assuredly, not playing around anymore.

Mr Bates indeed, was trying very hard not to show how curious he was.

'So, Billy was a complete and utter bully, one of those show off types, you know? But Phyllis and Molly liked being around him. At that age, seventeen or eighteen they were… well, you know what teenagers are like. They were always flirting back and forth and what not.'

'I'll say I find it hard to imagine Miss Baxter flirting,' Mr Bates said with a wry smile, and Thomas actually flashed a smile of his own before he continued.

'They were downright obscene sometimes, all bloody over each other in the middle of the street. Although, to be fair, it was more Molly than Phyllis. My sister always liked male attention.'

Mr Bates wanted to joke that Mr Barrow and his sister had a lot in common there, but he didn't want to give Anna an excuse to call him crass.

'Compared to what they were getting up to, in the street for the whole word to see, lewd talk and tickling and what have you, the kind of stuff that would make Carson have an aneurism…' Thomas shifted a little in his seat. He twiddled the unlit cigarette again between his fingers. 'Compared to that, what it was like between Louis and me was like something out of the bible, as ironic as that sounds.'

Mr Bates held his breath, waiting for Thomas to speak. It was clear where the story was going, and he wasn't sure if he shouldn't warn his wife off listening to this. But then, in that instance, he was a little shocked to realise he was doing exactly what Thomas had been getting at. He was presuming that any of Thomas' interactions with people would automatically jump to being indecent. Maybe the under butler had a point.

'We were only fourteen, so I suppose we didn't even really think about what we were doing,' Thomas continued. He was still gesturing at his imaginary street map. 'It started off with him slipping his hand into mine once, when we were together at the park and no one else was around, and… it felt nice, so we just carried on doing it. I didn't like being at home much, my dad, he drank… but anyway…' He picked up the match box again, finally lighting his cigarette. 'I was always around Louis' house. We were always catching each other's eye across the classroom at school, together in the playground at lunch. Wherever he was, I was there too.'

He glanced up at them, as if waiting for the married couple to kick back their chairs and run for the hills upon hearing what he was talking about.

'So, he was your… sweetheart?' Anna asked hesitantly.

Thomas gave her his full attention, his apparent worry settling into hateful disappointment. 'Well, yes.' He gazed at her steadily. 'Problem?'

'No, no!' Anna said, shaking her head and smiling. She didn't sound all that convincing, and Mr Barrow narrowed his eyes a little. Mr Bates knew that Anna didn't really mind it; she didn't have a hateful bone in her body. It was probably just a bit of an effort for her to wrap her head around it, like when you've never seen the sea before, and you just can't picture a great big mass of water sitting there before your eyes as far as the horizon goes.

It was clear from where this was going that Thomas had taken a complete plunge into said ocean, although maybe Bates was wrong, he thought, to pretend Thomas had had any choice in the matter.

'There's nothing like your first love,' Anna continued, when she seemed to have got to grips with the notion that Thomas was putting forth. 'They always stay with you a little bit, don't they?'

Thomas nodded sincerely.

'Your first loves stay with you, do they?' Bates asked playfully, turning to his wife.

'Yes, Mr Bates,' she said, returning the tone. 'But little Freddie Braithwaite giving me a kiss on the cheek when I was eleven doesn't compare to you in the slightest, I promise.' She smiled at him fondly. 'You must know what I mean though. They set up the sensations for you, don't they? Suddenly there's this new and exciting feeling of being in love.'

'How does it work, exactly?' Mr Bates asked, turning back to Thomas, genuinely curious. He'd never thought of it before, of younger kids and teenagers being inclined the way Thomas was. 'Two lads, being 'sweethearts',' he clarified, when Mr Barrow raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Much the same as it does with a lad and a lass, Mr Bates. It's all the same kind of feelings, after all.'

Mr Bates nodded slowly. Now he felt just as lost as Anna clearly had.

'Well, saying that,' Thomas added thoughtfully. 'With a girl and a boy, it's all got to be proper, hasn't it? Chaperones and courting and asking your parents for permission and the like. With the two of us, we could spend every minute of the day together if we wanted, because we were best friends, but then it was even better, because it ran deeper than that.'

Mr Bates raised his chin and nodded again. It did make sense, when he thought about it.

'Louis and me, we were such a double act, always getting up to mischief together, just because we were bored half the time. Once…' Thomas tapped his cigarette into the ash tray, smiling a little. 'We wrote this fake love note to our teacher, Miss Alms, from the head teacher, Mr Sodbury, and I pretended to find it on the floor in assembly and then read it out to the whole school.' Thomas laughed a little under his breath. 'Stuff like 'oh, my heart yearns for you, Miss Alms, please will you be mine!' I nearly got expelled for it, but I played dumb and insisted that I'd just found it on the floor and thought I should tell someone about it.'

Anna frowned. 'Mr Barrow, that probably got them into a lot of trouble.'

Thomas shrugged. 'Like I said, we were bored. Our school was so uninspiring. The teachers made us read dusty textbooks all day, and then just put on a school play at the end of the year so it looked like they'd used a bit of imagination. What would a bunch of teenagers know about performing Romeo and Juliet anyway?'

'Our school did the same, although it was Hamlet,' Anna added, smiling at Mr Bates as she shared the memory. 'I got to play one of the witches, and I'll tell you, I've never looked so frightful in all my life.'

'God knows why they cast such a beautiful woman as a witch,' Bates said, leaning in towards her with a flirty feeling in his chest.

'Oh, Mr Bates, you shouldn't,' Anna said, looking bashful, but pleased.

'Yes, you really shouldn't,' Thomas put in, although he didn't look too annoyed.

'Did you get a part in the play, Thomas?' Anna asked.

He shook his head. 'No, wasn't my kind of thing. Louis really wanted to play Romeo, but he was beaten to the part by Scot, this other lad. Although,' he said, with another of his genuine smiles that always looked so peculiar on his face, 'I fixed it for him, so he got the part in the end. It was worth it too, because he was so pleased.' Now Thomas looked even a little fond.

'How did you manage that?' Mr Bates asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

Thomas rolled his eyes but didn't look remotely abashed as he filled in the details. 'I slashed the tyres of Scot's bicycle and told him if he didn't give the part to Louis, I would push him into the road in front of a moving car on his way home from school.'

Anna and Mr Bates blinked at him, and Thomas must have been able to see on their faces how appalled they were.

'I never would have actually done it,' Thomas said, as if that was obvious.

'Then why in God's name would you say it?' Anna asked.

Thomas looked at her, perplexed. 'Otherwise, Louis wouldn't have got the part.' He said it as if it was the most obvious justification in the world. 'Backfired on me, in a way, because I was seething with jealously when he ended up having to kiss Juliet on stage.

'That was the first time we talked about it, actually. Louis came out after the performance and he was so excited and eager to see what I thought, but I was just sullen and wouldn't look him in the eye. I ended up blurting it out to him, that I hadn't liked seeing him do it, and he just took my hand and said that he didn't care at all about the girl who played Juliet, and he'd wished it could have been me up on that stage instead.'

If Anna was surprised by the direction Thomas' story was taking, she didn't show it.

'We started writing each other little notes after that, slipping them into each other's pockets for the other to find later.' Thomas actually grinned then. Had Mr Bates ever seen Mr Barrow grin? He didn't think so.

'I built him his own wristwatch out of odds and ends in my father's workshop. Another time he snuck out in the middle of the night to throw stones at my window, and we ran down to the old sheds at the end of the road. He'd brought his dad's old guitar so he could play a song he'd written for me. You know, Mr Bates,' Thomas paused, looking at the valet solemnly with a tired look in his eyes, 'sweetheart kind of things.'

Next to Bates, Anna's expression had turned from one of measured understanding to one that looked a little moved, and also quite a bit sad. They both could presume it wouldn't all end in cakes and ribbons, after all. Mr Bates took her hand under the table and she squeezed it back.

'My dad, he was a strict Catholic, and I mean devout. We were always at church or Sunday school, when he was lucid enough to remember to take us. I remember the priest doing a sermon one Sunday…'

Mr Bates winced a little, waiting for what was going to come next, but he was surprised when Thomas continued.

'He talked to the whole congregation about love, about how beautiful and important it is. Louis was in the choir then, and I was in the pews, and I remember catching his eye and seeing him grin at me. In that moment, I couldn't help but think, this is what love is. How can it not be? I felt like I would lay down my life for him, just to see him smile. It was like there was a physical ache in my chest that just longed for him to always be happy and safe.'

Mr Bates could not deny he was taken aback by that. He had always thought of Thomas as being a cold-hearted man. Naturally, he'd seen evidence of the under butler's little fancies, with Jimmy being the most obvious example, but the way Thomas described love was exactly how he felt whenever he laid eyes on Anna, that he would go to the ends of the earth if she so much as asked.

'That seems like love to me,' Mr Bates decided to put in, and Mrs Bates nodded. 'I can happily say I speak from experience.' Mrs Bates squeezed his hand again under the table.

'Oh, I know you do,' Thomas said, a trace of bitterness to his tone. 'It radiates off the pair of you like Blackpool bloody illuminations most of the time.'

Anna rolled her eyes at Thomas' barb, and his face softened a little bit.

'Anyway, I suppose that's the point, isn't it? It's hard to hide feelings like that, especially when you're fourteen. People started to notice the way Louis and I looked at each other.' Thomas tapped lightly on the table where he'd shown his old house to be, but then he looked up at Mr Bates, raising an eyebrow almost challengingly. 'For you two, I suppose it's always been sunshine and celebrations as far as everyone else is concerned.'

'It hasn't always been an easy ride for us, Mr Barrow,' Anna said, with a little laugh.

'No,' Thomas said, stringing out his words like he was speaking to a toddler, 'but people have always been happy for you.'

Mr Bates' memory jumped to the night he'd seen a shadowed Thomas outside his cottage, smoking alone out in the rain. I envy you. The happy couple and everyone's so pleased for you.

'Back then, I did well in school, but I was always in trouble. I was always making quips at the teacher, and I didn't have many friends either.' He shrugged. 'I got upset easily, always let their remarks get under my skin. People could tell I was different, too. I smiled at a lad in the playground once and he got angry and grabbed me from behind by the hair and… well,' he sighed, quickly changing the course of his speech. 'I was kicked around a bit, but I always strode into class again the next day with my head held high, and that annoyed them even more, I think.'

The description certainly sounded like a younger version of Thomas. The way he spoke about these things in such a blasé fashion though, it wasn't like the Mr Barrow that Bates knew, the one who kept his cards close to his chest and always looked and behaved so immaculately.

And there it was again, Mr Bates thought. Thomas sounded very tired. He was talking in a way that made it sound less like he was letting them in, and more like he'd stopped bothering to hold back the information.

It was unsettling. Mr Bates almost wanted Thomas to say something spiteful and cruel again, just so the valet could relax a bit.

'But Louis was always at my side, steady as a rock, sticking up for me when I needed it. By this point though, I'd been going to Sunday school long enough to know what people thought of what Louis and I had. I knew where they thought we deserved to go, all things considered. Fancy inadvertently telling a fourteen-year-old he's going to burn in hell?' Thomas said, with mock amiability. 'There's an example of 'being nice' for you.'

Thomas looked up at Mr Bates, and the latter tried to look like he was listening without pitying him. He knew Thomas hated that. It seemed to work, because he continued.

'Condemned for writing some love letters, for holding hands.' Thomas shook his head, as if he disbelieved what his own mouth was saying. 'Do you understand? I was fourteen, and I was being told what I was doing was wrong, but my logical mind couldn't see anything wrong with it at all. In fact, I found it quite lovely, and I'd never been happier.'

Thomas ran his hand through his hair, more of his pomade coming loose.

'Is it wrong?' Thomas said, suddenly. 'I mean, do you think it's wrong?' His eyes were a little wide, looking between the pair of them.

Mr Bates was a little taken aback at being asked so blatantly.

When he thought about it… no, he didn't think it was wrong. It was complicated perhaps, but not wrong on the face of it, and he said as much, to which Thomas actually nodded with appreciation.

Bates was a little unsure as to what Anna might say. She was definitely the more religious out of the pair of them, but she said softly, 'Now I think on it, and after what you've said, Mr Barrow, I don't think it's wrong at all.'

Thomas looked at her for a long moment afterwards. It seemed like he was waiting for her to follow up the statement with a loud 'just kidding!'

'Despite my upbringing, I've never put much stock in religion anyway,' Thomas muttered finally.

He reached for the cigarette packet again, even though he still had one in his hand. Mr Bates almost wanted to roll his eyes. Why didn't he just take the rest and light them all at once?

'I've always been of the opinion that heaven is just a farce and that when we die, we all just end up in the ground as worm's meat.'

'Mr Barrow!' Anna exclaimed, utterly shocked. 'You shouldn't say things like that. It's not right.'

Mr Barrow raised an eyebrow. 'Well, if it is all true, might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb,' he put in with a shrug, stabbing out his fag and immediately lighting another one.

Anna huffed a little irately, but she didn't say anything more.

'Anyway, sorry, you're here for gossip on Miss Baxter aren't you, not just me,' he said with a smirk. 'I've gone a little off course.' He leant back in his seat, slouching a little. 'Basically, Billy, the older brother, got more and more suspicious about us, and he followed Louis to the old sheds one afternoon and saw us there… doing a little more than he expected.'

'You mean…!' Anna said, her voice dropping in what sounded like horror.

Thomas shot her a look of utter incredulity. 'Jesus, no. We were fourteen. We were just kissing.'

He paused for a moment, as if he was waiting for her to gasp in shock again, but she managed to hold it in.

'Billy ran back home, calling us all sorts of names as he went, and he ran straight to my dad. He spilled the beans before we could stop him, as well as all the little trimmings about how he fancied we'd been going with each other for weeks, always giving each other the eye. My dad listened to it all, and then he sent Louis and Billy home – Molly was out with Phyllis at some event.

'Dad said he'd beat the sin out of me that night, and by god did he deliver.' Thomas was terribly light when he spoke. 'It wasn't the first time he'd given me a lesson on how to be a 'proper man', as he called it, but this time he had a witness report of my apparent transgressions. He said I was worse than dirt, that I was depraved, that he was going to fetch the police on me, and they'd string me up for it.' Thomas stopped speaking, staring at the lit end of his cigarette as it singed quietly. 'I was bloody terrified.'

'That's horrible, Thomas,' Anna asserted sincerely.

'The drama didn't end there though. He was laying into me, and I was looking for any way out, so I made up a lie on the spot. I said that Billy had slept with my sister.'

Anna put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

'I said that me and Louis had caught them at it, and that was why Billy had made up these 'lies' about us,' Thomas made inverted commas with his hands, 'to get the heat off of himself.'

The under butler sighed then, and actually laughed. 'Thing is, when he questioned Molly later that night, she didn't deny it, and only burst into tears.'

It was one twist and turn after another, and Mr Bates couldn't deny he was caught up in the story. His half-drunk cup of tea stood completely forgotten.

'See, when Molly was around my father, butter wouldn't bloody melt. She was always the perfect example of Catholic purity around him, so he was completely shocked, just as much as I was for making up a lie that turned out to actually be true.

'And this is where Miss Baxter comes into it.' Thomas was caught up in the story himself now, looking at them both and speaking like it wasn't about him at all, just something he'd read in the newspaper. Mr Bates wondered if he'd ever told this to anyone else before. Perhaps O'Brian, but you never knew with those two.

'Phyllis was easily influenced in those days, and she gravitated towards strong, and quite often poisonous, characters. My sister and Billy were definitely that, and she'd do anything they told her to. I found out later that Phyllis had gone with Billy and my sister to speak to my dad that very night, when I'd been locked in my bedroom with no supper.' His voice turned a little bitter now. 'She told my dad that Billy wanted to propose to my sister, that his intentions were entirely honourable. Then she…'

He stopped and shook his head imperceptibly. 'She said that it wasn't just Billy who had seen me and Louis together, but that she'd seen it too. That she'd seen us kissing, and a lot more besides.' His voice was acidic now. 'We hadn't done anything of the sort, not ever, so she couldn't have seen us.' Thomas paused for a moment. 'Not that I think it's wrong to do any of that,' he said slowly, as if he was testing the waters, 'but she lied about it.'

Mr Bates was surprised Thomas would admit to that, despite how open he'd been so far.

'My dad liked Phyllis. Everyone liked Phyllis, me included. She always seemed so honest and demure, and for my dad, when compared to his son, the sneaking queer, and his daughter, who when she wasn't being openly mean was always being a little too sweet to be believable… well, anyway, I feel like he put more weight on Phyllis' words than anyone else's.

'The next day, my dad walked me all the way to school in the morning, not saying a word. Louis wasn't there, and all day I was worried sick. I tried to sneak off at lunch, but the schoolmaster caught me and gave me a caning for trying to skip lessons.' Thomas shook his head dismissively. 'Then, as I was walking out of the school gates that afternoon, itching to get home and check on Louis, Phyllis ran up to me with a note. She told me that Louis wrote it for me, and when I checked it, it was indeed his handwriting. It said to meet him at the sheds after school, where we always met, and that he really wanted to see me.

'I ran straight there, and I was so relieved to see he was alright that I ran straight up to him and hugged him. I should have known then that if he'd truly been alright, he wouldn't have sent Phyllis with a note, but come straight to see me himself, but I was far too upset to think about it.'

Thomas sighed, finding a little knot in the wood of the table and picking at it with his free hand. 'Louis cried, and I told him it was alright, that we'd get through it, and then he… asked me to kiss him.'

Anna was on the edge of her seat, her eyes wide, listening intently, and Mr Bates had a feeling that the same look would be reflected in his own eyes.

'I was so pleased that Louis still wanted me, so I smiled, and I did.' Thomas' voice shook on the last word, and he was blinking rapidly. 'It always felt so right when we kissed, like pieces of a puzzle slotting together, but he was still crying, so I remember I stood back and I looked into his eyes and reassured him it was ok, and then I kissed him again.

'And that's when all of our parents and siblings came out from behind the sheds.'

Anna put her hand over her mouth again, staring at Thomas.

'Our parents had wanted to know for sure, I imagine. I think that Louis had told them everything; he'd always been too honest for his own good. I had denied it all, of course, so they'd had to figure out what part I'd played in it. They had laid Louis out as a trap to catch me in the act, waiting to see if I was doing it of my own free will, and then they'd come out to bloody nab me.' He shook his head. 'Molly and Billy were there, and my sister had never looked so disgusted. We'd never been all that close, so I wasn't surprised.

'Her and Billy did in fact get married after a few months, according to Miss Baxter. They took over the clock shop when my dad got too old to manage it. The same shop that I had been training for years to inherit, is to this day run by the same bastard who ruined my life.'

It seemed that Anna didn't have the energy or the motivation to reprimand Thomas for his language this time, and Bates very much agreed that the word was completely suitable.

'He didn't ruin your life, Thomas,' Anna said quietly. 'You've made a life for yourself here, all off your own steam too. You should be proud of that.'

Thomas nodded genuinely. 'I know. I've done alright for myself, all things considered. Although,' he said, his voice impossibly quiet. 'My life's coming to an end all over again, isn't it? Now that I have to leave.'

Anna looked at Mr Bates, her eyes wide, apparently at a loss for what to say. Before they could think on it for too long though, Thomas spoke up again.

'Phyllis was there too, I might add, watching my fall from grace, her face completely blank.'

'Why, what…?' Anna started, apparently at a bit of a loss. 'What happened then?' Her voice was very quiet, like she was muttering something during a theatre performance.

'My dad didn't beat me up this time, he tried a different approach. He took me home and sat me down, all proper, and asked me what was going through my head. He had clearly been speaking to Mr Travis, Louis' dad, who was just as Catholic as he was. He said that I must be confused, that he could get me some help, go to the priest and confess.

'Thing is, I was a proud little thing, even back then. Couldn't help what came out of my mouth. I told my dad that him and his sodding priests could go and stuff it. Told him that I'd always felt like this, that I loved Louis, and that I couldn't change even if I wanted to.

'He got angry again then. He smashed a half-full bottle of whisky against the lit fireplace and almost set fire to the carpet. He said that if that was my decision,' Thomas said the word with venom, 'then I was no longer welcome in his house.'

Thomas brought his hands up to rub over his face quickly, apparently reluctant to show even a tremor of emotion.

'He packed up my things, gave me some money and put me on a train to York. Told me to never come back. Gave me the address of his widowed sister who lived with her only son, who was a year younger than me. Dad said I could stay there for a while until I found my feet, but in a few months, if I wasn't out of there, he would write to my aunt and tell her what had happened.

'He did too, earlier than I'd expected. I got on well with my cousin, and I was heartbroken, as you might imagine, so it helped a bit having a friend there, even if he didn't know what had happened. But then the letter came in the post.

'One moment it was all happy smiles, my aunt saying things like 'oh Thomas, it's so lovely having another young face about the place, you do make my day so much brighter,' and then the next minute she can't even look me in the eye, won't even let me speak to her son, because of course if you're like me you're always out to seduce everyone you meet, even if they're your bloody cousin.'

Thomas shot Mr Bates and his wife a filthy look at that, and the valet couldn't deny that he a felt a little ashamed of himself. He was finally starting to understand what Thomas meant.

'My cousin sent me a letter a few years ago actually, all the way from India where he works. Told me he was sorry about what happened and the part he played in it, and that he didn't hold anything against me. He said he'd tracked me down because he'd always worried that I'd been forced to beg on the streets or something. Thankfully, however, I'd found a job as a hall boy by the time I was thrown out for the second time, in a house a little outside York. I just turned up a week before they expected me and said I was itching to get started. Got a job as a footman two years after that, then got the job at Downton in 1910.'

It seemed like Thomas had finished the story, and he'd suddenly remembered who he was and who he was telling it to. He sat up a little straighter, his lips pursing slightly, trying to play it off like he'd just told them a bit of gossip about Mrs Patmore serving the wrong flavour of jam.

The air hung still around the three of them, no one daring to even breath too loudly. Behind the under butler, the clock on the mantel piece ticked slowly past one o'clock in the morning. The room suddenly felt a lot colder. The fire had burnt low, and now the hairs on Mr Bates' arms were standing on end.

'What happened to Louis?' Anna asked, when the silence had become almost unbearable.

'Never saw him again.' Compared to the flow of story Thomas had been telling moments before, these words sounded like they were each an almost insurmountable effort to say. 'His family moved away. I managed to track him down, just before I moved here, but he was married by then. I don't know if I was just a passing fancy, or if he was scared straight, but either way that… is the end of that.'

Mr Bates sighed quietly.

It made so much sense. So much sense. In relation to how Thomas conducted himself now, his relationships with people, the way he saw the world.

'So, there you have it, I suppose that's why I'm not nice,' Thomas finished. 'Although that's in comparison to you lot, I might add. You're all too nice for your own good, but I suppose it makes a fellow feel safe, in a way.' He was staring off to the side, thinking. 'Makes it all the more of a shame that I have to leave, really.'

Mr Bates raised his eyebrows. There had almost been a compliment in there somewhere, and receiving any kind of praise was like finding a needle in a haystack where Mr Barrow was concerned.

But perhaps that kind of thinking wasn't at all helpful in any respect, Mr Bates reflected. Thomas had emotion, and he had a heart, no matter how many times the valet presumed he didn't.

Had Mr Bates not said, just the other day, something akin to, 'be careful, Mr Barrow, people might accuse you of having feelings.' And what had Thomas replied? 'Would that be so hard for you to believe?'

It was clear as day now to Mr Bates that Thomas had feelings, and that he could indeed get hurt. He wasn't a man who couldn't love, but he was a man who was not allowed to love, and there lay the distinction.

'How did you ever forgive Miss Baxter?' Anna asked softly, bringing Mr Bates back to the real world.

Thomas looked surprised, like he had never considered Anna might agree with him on something.

'Well, I didn't, did I? Not until recently,' he said with a shrug. 'Miss Baxter wrote to me, asking for help to find a job. Honestly, I had never wanted to see any of them again, not Phyllis, or my dad, or anyone, but I didn't particularly want to walk past her begging for money either or see her going to live in some awful workhouse. I could have ended up there if things had gone a bit differently.'

Anna nodded slowly, chewing at her bottom lip.

'I'll say though, the main reason I helped her is because I thought I could get something out of it. I don't like to be caught off guard. I like to know what's going on, and Miss Baxter helped he with that.'

Mr Bates sighed. The blasted under butler couldn't let them think any good of him, could he? Not for one moment.

'Thomas,' Anna said quietly, and she actually reached her hand over the table to grasp Mr Barrow's wrist. 'What happened, everything you've said, it's... Well, it's just horrible, there's no way about it.'

Thomas looked down at her hand for a long moment, then he looked away, apparently deciding to neither reject nor acknowledge the gesture.

'Do you understand now?' he asked, and his voice caught a bit on the last word. His whole body looked like a hot piece of glass that that was about to be submerged in a pool of cold water, where it would undoubtedly start to crack. 'People like me… we're not all just a bunch of perverts, trying to steal people's purity and innocence. Jesus, I was bloody pure and innocent, until my own family taught me how harsh the world can be.'

'Thomas…' Anna started.

'No, I'm sorry,' he took a breath, 'it's just… I know I'm not a bumbling and friendly Mr Mosely type, or a mothering Mrs Hughes, or you two. I know I'm not a good person, but I'm not the kind of person who forces themselves in where they're not wanted.

'I've only ever wanted something where I'm on parr with someone, as equals. With… Jimmy, for instance… I know you both know all about what happened there, as the rest of this house probably does. But… with Jimmy, we were similar in many ways. I'd only just moved up from being a footman myself, and we weren't too far off in age. He didn't have any family left, he put on this bravado all the time, he flirted with the kitchen staff because he was bored. God, he even let O'brain get her claws into him, just as I did…' Thomas' voice trailed off, as he became lost in thought.

'Edward… he'd been through hell and back, just like me. He'd just been rejected by his family…' It was like the under butler had forgotten Mr and Mrs Bates were there at all. 'He was sensitive, just like me…' He spoke like he was just realising these things for the first time.

'Who was Edward?' Anna asked softly, squeezing Thomas' wrist where she still held it.

Thomas flinched. 'Never you mind,' he said quickly. 'What I mean is… Andy, he's so much younger than me, so naïve. You heard about the gambling stuff, right? The maids might find that kind of lost blundering attractive, but I certainly don't. And he's such a simple lad really, isn't he? I just… don't fancy him, as I'm sure you two don't just fancy every member of the opposite sex who walks through the door.

Mr Barrow straightened up a little, pulling his hand out of Anna's grip, but planting it firmly on the table as if to emphasise his point. When he spoke, Mr Bates had never seen him look so sincere in all the years he'd known the man.

'I suppose what I'm trying to reiterate is that I'm not predatory, alright? I'd tell you my whole life story three bloody times over before I'd let you think that. People who take advantage, who force themselves on others… they're the ones who are revolting and foul, not me.'

Anna looked over at Mr Bates, and they shared a long look. Mr Bates had a feeling he knew what horrible memories Thomas' words had recalled in his wife's mind. She looked resolute though, like she was happy with what Thomas had said and she was pleased to hear it.

'I just wanted to extend the hand of friendship to Andy, nothing more, alright?'

'Yes, ok. We get it, don't we, Mr Bates?'

Mr Bates nodded slowly, considering. 'Perhaps we did jump to conclusions, after that thing with Jimmy…'

Thomas cut him off immediately. 'That thing with Jimmy… listen. I'm not making excuses. What I did crossed a line, and it was wrong, I know that. It only happened because I'd been told repeatedly that he liked me just as much, and it warped my perspective.'

The unpleasant mental image of Miss O'Brian swam into view, and Mr Bates quickly shook it away.

'And I'm sorry for what happened. I hate myself for the position I put him in. I got too caught up in it all, and I had to be low key about it because I could hardly make advances in the servant's hall, could I? As soon as I realised that I was mistaken, I backed off. I wouldn't go for anything with anyone that wasn't wanted on both sides.'

'I know, Thomas, we understand, please believe me when I say that,' Anna said softly. 'Like Mr Bates said, we jumped to conclusions, but we know now that we shouldn't have. Really,' Anna said with a small smile, 'it would be better if everyone just talked these things out, wouldn't it? It's a shame people get so awkward.'

'Yes, well… I'm sorry if I've made you feel awkward,' Thomas said, and it sounded like he genuinely meant it.

And Mr Barrow saying sorry again? What was the world coming to?

'I didn't mean it like that,' Anna replied assertively. 'I'm so glad you've told us. It must be awful keeping stuff like that bottled up inside. And Thomas, I never even imagined… everything you've said, it's just so heart-breaking…'

Thomas straightened up.

'I don't need your pity, thank you very much, Mrs Bates. I've only told you all this so that you'll understand, and you won't have long to use any of the information against me, as Mr Carson will no doubt have me out the door before you can think on it.'

Mr Bates sighed. The more and more Thomas spoke tonight, the deeper Bates seemed to fall into seeing the way the younger man's brain worked. It was still a version of Thomas, but new and uncovered in ways Bates could never have imagined.

'And maybe,' Thomas continued, 'now you know everything, next time I try to be nice to someone, you won't think I deserve to be locked up for doing it.'

'We would never think that, Thomas, please believe me on that.'

Thomas raised a dark eyebrow. 'Even if you don't think what me and Louis had was wrong, Mrs Bates,' Thomas said the name as if it was an insult, 'you can't tell me that you don't think the rest of it is.'

Anna looked a little clipped at that, like she didn't quite know what to say.

'Me and Louis never got that far, we were too young, but I've certainly gone there with other people since, and I've enjoyed it a hell of a lot besides.'

He said each word like it was a knife he'd lovingly sharpened just so he could stab them in the gut.

There was the old Thomas, the one who said things just to shock and hurt people.

Anna's mouth was indeed open in shock, so he'd definitely hit his mark. Mr Bates was equally as mortified, just at the way Thomas so casually spoke about it, but he was surprised when his wife recovered from Thomas's words before he did.

'Thomas, I can truthfully say that I don't agree at all that people should go to prison for such things. I wouldn't ever wish prison on you, and I hope you know that.' Ever the diplomat.

Thomas smirked unpleasantly at her. 'Well, I'm glad we agree on that at least, even though I know you still think it's 'grossly indecent'.'

'Don't put words into my mouth, Thomas,' Anna said, a little austere.

Thomas slid out from his seat and stood up, snatching his cigarettes off the table.

'Do you deny it?' he asked back, standing over them, his face cast in shadow as he stood against the dying fire.

Anna paused, and that was enough for him.

'I knew it.'

'I'm just a little old fashioned, Mr Barrow,' Anna started, but Thomas raised up his chin, his mouth halfway between a pout and a smirk, as he said quite brazenly, 'It's just sex, Mrs Bates…'

'Mr Barrow!' Mr Bates said sternly, grabbing his cane and making to stand up himself.

'…between two people that want it, that maybe even love each other,' Thomas continued, 'and it should be nobody else's bloody business.'

'You don't have to speak in such a way, Thomas,' Anna exclaimed, shaking her head.

'No, I suppose it's not a nice thing to do, is it, Mrs Bates? Well, you know it all now. That's why I'm not nice. My whole life, no one has been on my side when it comes down to it. I've learnt to fight my own battles, and if that involves being unkind along the way, then so be it. I hope I've answered all your bloody questions.'

Mr Bates had stood up at the table, but Thomas pushed his chair in roughly and before Bates could blink, the under butler had stalked out of the room and was out of sight.

'Oh, dear,' Anna said, putting her head into her hands, elbows on the table. That was putting it mildly, as far as Mr Bates was concerned.

He deflated a little, sitting back down. His wife swivelled her face towards him, reaching out to lay her hand on his arm and looking at him sadly.

'He's going to give somebody a heart attack, one of these days,' Mr Bates said, trying to be as off-the-cuff as he could manage, 'the things that come out of that mouth of his.'

'Mrs Patmore called him a 'troubled soul' to me once,' Anna mused. 'I've never realised how right she was before now.' She sighed, looking off into the distance and thinking for a moment.

Mr Bates was feeling equally as thoughtful. 'He's paranoid, can't trust people, and can't let anyone in for fear they'll betray or reject him.'

Anna nodded. 'It makes so much sense.'

'My thoughts exactly.'

'He's had to live his happiest moments in the shadows, all in secret, so it's no wonder he acts like a creature better suited to the dark.'

Mr Bates quirked an eyebrow at his wife. 'My, how poetic.'

She smirked at him, tapping him on the arm playfully. 'Mind you, even some of the things he did whilst at school were questionable, like the note in assembly, and the boy with the bicycle.'

'Well,' Mr Bates pondered, 'I imagine that even in the cradle, Thomas was always a little chaotic.'

Anna nodded with a laugh, which faded a little as she considered, 'I don't know how I would have reacted if all that had happened to me.'

'You're strong, my darling, you've more than proven that.'

Anna squeezed his arm in thank you, but still looked at him sadly. 'I had you to help me through. Thomas doesn't have anyone.' She looked down, playing with the fabric of Mr Bates' sleeve. 'Mr Barrow seems more tired in himself recently. Maybe he's grown weary of always being on the defensive and shutting people out.'

Mr Bates hummed thoughtfully, before he finally admitted, 'I'm a little worried.'

'About Thomas? It's hard not to be, after hearing that. It must be a constant whirlwind in that head of his.'

'Don't get me wrong,' Mr Bates ventured, 'it's a good thing that he's been open with us, as scandalous as it is to hear him talk about it, but the fact he's told us all of that… it just seems like he's stopped caring.'

Anna gave him a long and funny look. 'He wanted us to understand about Andy. And he's right, I was reading too much into it,' Anna said, and she sounded disappointed in herself. 'I was thinking of Jimmy again, and well…'

'What?' Mr Bates prompted, when she failed to continue.

She looked apologetic. 'It's just… Thomas was right with what he said. The things you hear about men like Thomas… it's always painted in such a bad light. They get put in the same box as so many other law-breakers, and I think my mind has been trained to jump to deplorable conclusions without me even questioning it.'

'Are you alright?' Mr Bates asked, lowering his voice, even though there was absolutely no one about. 'What he said about…?'

'Don't worry,' Anna cut in, giving him a loving, if not a little strained, smile. 'It's much better now. It will never go away, of course, but it's much more manageable.'

'I wish I could make it go away forever,' Mr Bates continued, because he did, truly. He wanted nothing more in all this world.

Anna leant in with a smile and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

'I know,' she muttered after a moment, 'but it's ok. And like Thomas said, it feels safe here at Downton. I trust everybody here implicitly.'

'Even Thomas?' Mr Bates asked doubtfully.

Anna thought for a moment, but then nodded. 'He's got a vindictive nature, we all know that, but when it comes down to the important stuff… yes, I think I do trust him.'

'How much trust should we place in Miss Baxter, come to that?' Mr Bates said, musing over the other aspects of Thomas's story. 'I can see why Thomas took a while to trust her again. It was a betrayal.'

Anna nodded in agreement.

'They seem to be much more friendly now though, which I think is good. And people change, after all. We're not all the same person we were when we were a teenager.'

'That's very true,' Anna said measuredly. 'Maybe we should give Thomas room to change, if he chooses to.'

Mr Bates nodded, taking her hand again and squeezing it.

'I think we should keep an eye on him,' he said finally. 'I'll ask Miss Baxter to as well.'

'Yes, she won't mind,' Anna agreed, nodding. 'She's very fond of him. Perhaps we could put in a word with Andy too? It wouldn't hurt.'

'Do you think Thomas will ever be a bit nicer?' Mr Bates asked, as they stood up and began to clear away the cold tea and uneaten cake.

Anna tilted her head to the side in thought. 'Honestly? From my experience, unhappy people generally aren't ever all that nice.'

And that, Mr Bates thought, summed it up just as much as anything.