Chapter III
She couldn't sleep.
It was simply too strange to see her brother and their mutual chum dressed in khaki just hours earlier, seemingly ready to go into the battle the very next day. She could see them both again in her mind, almost unrecognisable standing in front of her proudly.
Joyce looked at the clock hanging on the wall of her and Jem's room. She sighed as she caught a glimpse of 2am glistening at the moon's glance. Her eyes quickly found their way back onto Jem sleeping soundly in his bed across the room, with Dog Monday sleeping right next to his master soundly. Jem was even smiling through his sleep! Oh, she could have slapped him here and then and screamed some sense into him! But it was Jem. Her Jemmy-brother. Her red-haired "twin" who had a heart of a lion and a soul of an eagle. She knew him for the longest time out of all her siblings and the two of them were always together. That is until the morning of Joy's 18th birthday when she packed her suitcases and announced that she bought a one-way ticket to Greece, as the first stop of her European adventure, with no intention of coming back any sooner than the moment she finds herself her "heaven on Earth".
Joy smiled at the memory and her life-changing decision. She realised that it actually, to her surprise, wasn't too different to Jem's own dangerous act of enlisting. He was beginning a new chapter of his life as she did those five years earlier. He was to go on a ship to Europe and risk everything he was and knew, and how was her journey into adulthood any different? "Well, quite different." she muttered to herself. Yes, Jem's decision was indeed an unpredictable dance with death so quite not the same as Joyce's. However, it gave her comfort, knowing that Jem was doing what he felt was right for him, and what else could she have wanted him to do?
Quietly, she popped out of her bed and walked over to his. She squinted her eyes a little and could have sworn that she could see him as a five-year-old once more. "I love you, Jemmy." she whispered softly and kissed his cheek before silently jumping out of the room and down into the kitchen.
"Joyce Blythe!" Susan's loud whisper shattered Joy's illusion of being successful in eating a few cookies out of the jar at the top cupboard (a habit of hers since she was a child, in times of worry or a writer's block). She stopped in her tracks upon seeing Susan's neat, fresh nightgown and quickly realised that she herself was then wearing Walter's old polo shirt and Jem's old pyjama bottoms.
Nevertheless, Joy smiled at dear, old Susan and bowed in front of her "Queen Susan, may I join you here in this lovely space where you always…" she started but Susan interrupted her.
"Dear Lord, girl!" she shook her head "I think that even when your hair is as grey as your eyes and your skin wrinkled even more than mine, you will still try to perform every sentence that comes out of your mouth!" she tried to look displeased but Joy saw that a corner of Susan's mouth was forming into a smile.
"And… that I may tie to?" Joy asked sheepishly, her eyes speaking the works of her devilish mind.
"Hmm…" Susan replied and allowed her cheek to be kissed by the eldest Blythe baby. She smiled at last and patted Joy's hand tenderly "May you always be the joy in this house, dear." she managed to say, almost shakily "I can't even begin to imagine you leaving us all, poor folks, at the beginning of next week!"
"You'll miss me teaching you how to make pasta?" Joy asked, trying to brush away the tears forming in her own eyes. She realised that she couldn't get teary easily when someone else was, however, when Susan cried, she had to as well. Even though Susan's favourite 'child' was most certainly Shirley, Joyce always came second out of the others. She was after all the first Blythe baby and the first of the House of Dreams at that.
Both Joy and Susan chuckled and clasped their hands together "I'll miss everything, dear." Susan said "And that you may tie to!" their quiet laughter stopped slowly when another figure appeared by the kitchen table where they sat.
"Mama, what are you doing up so late at night?" Joy asked and jumped to Anne, quickly enveloping her in her arms and putting her head against her mother's shoulder.
"Most probably the same as you two lovely ladies." Anne answered with a soft smile as she caressed Joy's curly locks lovingly. Her oldest child could see that her heart was filled with worry and nightmares and so when both sat down opposite to Susan, Joy didn't dream of letting go of her mother's hands.
"Oh, Mrs Dr. dear…" Susan sighed sadly "What are we to do? Dear Joyce is leaving for her Italy, Jem is leaving for the unknown and the war… What are we to do?" she repeated and truly looked helpless.
Anne smiled tenderly, squeezing her daughter's hands as if trying to memorise their touch in her own "We shall keep on living, dear Susan. For them and for ourselves, waiting for their return patiently, whenever destiny will bring them back to the old Ingleside." she declared and Joy thought that she had never heard her mother's voice be so strong and decided.
She turned to her mother as she let a few tears roll down her cheeks at last "Yes, that you shall do. And you will write letters and we will be writing back, and we'll send each other photographs and we will all count the stars on each of our skies until we will realise that we are actually under the same sky with the same amount of stars spread across it, so the feeling of emptiness and loss can be forgotten. One way or another." Joy's own courageous voice sounded clear and bright and made Anne's cheeks redden from water coming out of her own grey eyes that were the same shade as her daughter's.
"My brave, darling girl." she uttered and brought Joy into an embrace.
"How proud you make us!" Susan stood up and put her arms around Joyce and Anne, all three finding peace in knowing that their thoughts were, are and always will be interlocked together, wherever they are.
"There are too many people here, I don't like this at all." Joy muttered under her breath angrily "Do they think it's some kind of entertainment? To see dearest Jem and Jerry go?"
"There, there, sweetheart." Anne squeezed Joy's arm for a moment as she gathered herself for the twentieth time that day "Do not hold any hard feelings, not today." Joy turned to look at her mother and could still see the stains of tears on her freckled cheeks from the night before. Both of their hearts were broken, but, Joyce thought to herself, 'how does my pain compare to this of a mother?'. Joy nodded decidedly and made Anne smile at her.
Indeed, everyone who Joyce knew was at the train station, except Whiskers-on-the-moon of course. She never did like attention or large crowds of people and on that day she felt as if she was being suffocated by people and by her own very mixed feelings. She decided to wear her best white blouse and borrowed Nan's skirt in autumn colours of orange, red, yellow, green and brown. On her head was a new hat which she purchased a day before the dance, crimson coloured with a matching feather attached to the front of it. Joy bought the same hat for Rilla, in a shade of blue instead and of course, her sister wore it proudly on that day of days as well. From the corner of her eye, Joy spotted Ken coming over to the smiling Rilla who started conversating with her. She still wasn't quite sure what to make of it and what all this talking and smiling of theirs could evolve (or not) into one day. She wasn't sure either whether she should do something about it or not. However, that was not the time nor the place for such thoughts.
Thankfully even after their outburst of feelings at the dance, Ken was a regular visitor of Joy's, seeing her almost every day. They still talked in the same way as before, and made the same jokes and remarks, Joy still occasionally hit him on the head whenever he was teasing her… Yet, something behind his eyes whenever he looked at her was… was… Joy didn't know what to be frank. Something mysterious and out of her reach was there in every glance he gave her, and every time she'd feel a shiver of guilt down her spine.
"He went to speak to Ethel Reese now." Walter's whisper appeared in her ear.
Joy grimaced as she looked at her brother. "For crying out loud, and for the millionth time, Walter, I…" she started but then…
"The train is approaching!" little Bruce Meredith squeaked, half with joy and half with great regret over seeing Jem go away for an unknown amount of time.
Something shot through Joy and she clasped Walter's hand "I need to get all my boys, all of them together." she said to him and herself decidedly, pushing through the many people surrounding them all. Jem already kissed Faith, said goodbyes to his siblings but Joy and Walter, and was finally caught by Joy who threw her arms around him without a moment of hesitation.
"I love you, my Jemmy." she said loudly into his ear and made him laugh.
"I love you too, dear sister." he replied with just as much valour.
Joy outstretched her arm to Jerry who joined in the embrace "By God, will this be the day when Joyce Blythe will cry in public for the first time?" Jerry asked, chuckling.
"Not today, Jerry, not today." she answered seriously, clutching onto them both "Walter?" she asked, her voice a little too soft for her liking. Her black-haired brother joined in the embrace without another word "Ken?" following in Walter's tracks, the Ford-boy outstretched his arms.
They stayed like this for a while, with Joyce in the very middle, her hands trying to touch and squeeze each of the others'. Who knew when would they all see each other again? It terrified her, but it also made that moment so much more special, the one she would never forget, and never think of less than once a day for the rest of her life. It seemed like the scene moved everyone, as suddenly the group of grown-up men and a mature woman turned in their eyes back into the children of Rainbow Valley, ready to go into battles together, ready to cross the oceans for one another, loving each other most dearly of all.
A train whistle.
"If you won't write to me, all of you," she seized all of her boys' eyes "-I will personally hunt you down and murder you." After a pause, all of her boys and Joy herself laughed merrily, through stiff faces.
Jem turned to say his farewell to his parents but then he just quickly enough grabbed Joy's hands once more and kissed them with a cheeky smile "Never change, dearest of Joys." he said and swiftly turned to Anne and Gilbert.
At this point, Joyce had had enough and she turned away. She couldn't bear to see her mother and father at that moment and she felt like she couldn't stand the look of Jem in khaki for another second. Swiftly, she bent down to Dog Monday and patted his head, holding him in place so he couldn't run to his master. Ken bent down next to Joy and Dog Monday with a sorrowful smile "Jem and Jerry are so lucky…" he whispered with a voice full of regret.
Joyce, whilst still cuddling Monday, turned her head to Ken with blazing eyes "Ken," she said decidedly "-shut your mouth, please."
He almost chuckled and then turned wistful again "They can do their duty to our country and me, because of that nasty ankle, I am stuck in one place and look like a coward." he replied, whilst patting Monday's head.
"Honestly, Ken, I thought you were more confident in yourself and more intelligent than you appear to be right now." she said with a true disappointment in her voice "A war, any war that is literal or metaphorical, is simply pointless and extremely painful to everyone involved. It's not a matter of duty, it's a matter of common sense."
"So you're implying that Jem and Jerry are being completely stupid by going into trenches?" he asked her, genuinely curious.
"Yes, in fact, I do." she answered "But I won't say that to them because I will support anyone who truly, wholeheartedly wants to do whatever they want to do. Even when I don't agree with it. However, if you're wistful about not being able to follow them just because you're afraid you're missing out and you're afraid to be viewed a coward, then that's not the same as truly wanting to go into war, Ken."
He looked at her for a while and eventually, after processing what Joyce said, smiled softly at her and she did back at him. Nothing else had to be said, especially because Dog Monday suddenly started whining and pushing and pulling. That's when Joy and Ken realised that Jem and Jerry were already on the train, waving at their families and friends with the loveliest smiles. Joy kept a smile on her face even when the train started to leave the station, however, as soon as she couldn't see it on the horizon, her body lost its tranquility and tears started to slowly roll down her eyes when she saw the saddest expression on Dog Monday's eyes. Monday's broken heart was palpable in the air and she kissed the side of his face as he made noises very resemblant of crying.
Joy felt like there was a river to be cried within her heart already but she did not allow it. She wiped her tears away quickly, cleared her throat and in that moment decided that she had to be more like her strong loving red-haired brother who just moments ago left everything with a smile on his face and a hope in his heart. She wanted to make him proud and keep her promise to him. She hugged Dog Monday and whispered into his ear resolutely: "I will always stay your Joy, dearest Jemmy. I promise. No matter what this war will bring, I will face it with a sword and a shield in my hands."
Ken and Joy were walking hand-in-hand back to Ingleside from the train station and they walked alone on the sandy path that they knew so well. They talked of Jem and Jerry, how wonderful they both were and how much luck and hope they wished them. Then they changed the subject and talked about Joy's Pienza and Ken's Toronto and exchanged some untold stories between them. For a moment, Joyce felt as if they were twelve and nine again, walking along the same path, talking about everything and nothing, laughing, joking, running after one another for no reason whatsoever and laughing some more over it. After what felt to Joy as five minutes they were in front of the old Ingleside. Both turned to one another with soft smiles on their faces and their eyes spoke more than their words.
"I can't express to you how awfully sorry I am that I have to head back to Toronto tomorrow morning." Ken said and disappointment in his voice was very clear.
"I'm sorry too." Joy replied and took his hands in hers "I can't believe I'm supposed to bid you farewell now and not in another week when I'll be off myself."
"Come here." he smiled mischievously and pulled her into an embrace "You know, your hair always smells of Rainbow Valley." he said all of a sudden and Joy chuckled and looked up at him.
"What?" she said "That's the strangest thing I've heard you complement me!"
"Well, it's true." he continued and put his chin on the top of her red unruly locks "You smell and speak like home."
Joy digested that heavily and sighed, taking in Ken's strong arms enveloping her and again the sound of his heart "It's things like that that make it very difficult for me to leave." she said at last.
Ken drew her even closer "I know." he replied "I wish it was all different than what it is." he said in a tone that Joy recognised as being the same as the one that started the "talk" between them at the dance and she took two steps back, releasing herself of his arms.
"Ken…" she started but Ken interrupted desperately.
"Don't, Joy." he said "It's no matter. It will pass, like you said. I hope anyway." he grinned a little, although with a hint of sadness in his voice "Let's not ruin this moment. So... Write to me, please?"
"Always. Three letters a week, like for the past five years." she took his hands in her own and they looked at one another for a long time, while their eyes had a knowing conversation of their own. Both smiled and almost sighed a sigh of relief that their friendship is stronger than anything that could ever possibly break it.
"No matter where you are, or where I am, I will always love you." Ken spoke at last "Everything about you. And I want you to know that because you need to know that one day that someone will appear at your doorstep. You may now say that he won't but you know deep down that he will and he will sweep you off your feet, of that I'm sure. And you will need to allow him to enter your heart. It doesn't change who you are or who you can be. Please, consider that for me, alright?"
Joy rolled her eyes but smiled at him knowingly and kissed his cheek "Goodness gracious, you are talking fantasy here but alright, yes, I will consider that." she answered and Ken seemed satisfied.
They embraced one more time and then Ken started for the lane to lead him back to the old Four Winds. He turned around at the corner and saw Joy, her red locks dancing in the breeze, mixing with the wild colours of the sunset behind her, her arms waving at him and her voice screaming for him to remember to treat that ankle of his better in the future. He laughed sadly at her, waving back, and shouting "Anything for you, Joy!" and turned around, not knowing how he could stand another day knowing that Miss Joyce Blythe didn't open her heart to him.
