Chapter XIII

September 1915

My dearest wife,

I know that this is yet another short letter, however, time truly knows its boundaries and there is never enough time in the world of army and war. I know you received my telegram, however, now I can fully express my utter happiness about the little miracle that will come into our world next spring.

My wonderful Joy, I couldn't be happier and I couldn't be more excited to become a father to our little future bundle. I cried and laughed when I read your telegram, I simply couldn't contain my emotions at all! I wish I was next to you when you found out you were with child, it's what a husband is supposed to do and the distance we now have to endure is truly the most painful of all.

I know you are scared and nervous. The future gets more uncertain when there's a baby on the horizon, a new responsibility that ends one chapter and starts the next. I am nervous too, especially so not knowing when I will be able to come back to you both. However, I have no doubt that you will thrive in the role of a mother and that our child will want for nothing when it comes to their mama. You will see, as soon as you'll have this baby in your arms, all uncertainties you mentioned in your letter about you not being able to do this will disappear. I know that it will be difficult without your own mother being there, however, you are the strongest person I have ever met and you are most certainly the most resilient one there is so you will do this and in the most brilliant way too.

I am always with you in spirit and in your heart, my dearest.

There is hope, my love, an Allied victory in the west! There's this hopeful talk around, pushing our spirits upwards that maybe the war will slowly start to fall away. Think of that, it will all end one day either way. I'm sure you're keeping your chin up as you always do.

I will write a letter to my parents so they come and visit you in Pienza, I don't want you travelling when you're carrying our precious new life within you, however, this does mean that I'd like you to know my parents and them to know you quicker rather than later. My father has certain connections that will allow them both to travel quite easily, I assure you, as you know he is an important businessman.

I must go now, however much I don't want to.

My wonderful wife, I love you and our little baby so very much I think my heart may burst. All I think about is you. I love you, mi amor.

Forever yours,

Luca


October 1915

Dear Mama,

So much to tell you I do think I will need three litres of ink to finish writing this letter to you!

Please, give an extra cuddle to my dearest Rilla, she sent me my very first baby gift, a blanket she herself used on baby Jims when he was just born and this gift truly warmed my heart in all ways possible. She is simply the sweetest little sister I could ever hope for! Also, send your cuddles in Susan's direction too, her list of instructions on how to be and what to eat/not to eat (mind you, this list was as long as a book!) whilst pregnant will be extremely useful for me indeed (it already hangs on a board in our living room if you can believe it!).

Well, first things first. I cannot get my head around it, Mama, I simply cannot believe it still, even though I had Una's telegram two weeks ago already. We will both become mothers! And we will both have our babies in April, my goodness, that is just the most wonderful coincidence there is. Walter's baby and my own will be born in the same month! Ah, Mama, I am bursting with so much hope nowadays. As you know, when I first found out I was carrying a child, I was shaking with fear of all kinds. It was difficult for me to get this fear out of my head and thankfully it never fully touched my heart, so I quickly reverted back to my own self and marvelled at the thought that my life was changing but for the better! I must say that if it wasn't for you, our family, my wonderful Gia, Alma and, of course, dear Luca, it would take months and months for me to get over the feeling that this is very much something I am not prepared for at all. And of course, I am not prepared, however, I know that this is a part of life experience you can't be fully prepared for no matter just how much you try. I am so thankful that despite the distance and the war I am still able to send you a letter and a telegram when need be and the same goes for you my dear Mama, it makes my heart feel warmer and more protected, that thought alone does.

Yesterday I met Luca's parents, properly that is. Violetta is the sweetest little lady who is a chatterbox with a never-ending positive aura spread around her. She is so gentle and kind, she would constantly ask me whether I am comfortable, whether I'd like more tea or another biscuit to be handed to even though both the tea and biscuits were placed closer to me rather than her. I could feel a tear rolling down my cheek listening to her telling me all about how Luca was when he was a little boy, she was so excited about seeing his little child in a few months time. She is a calming presence, like the scent of lavender brought by a summer breeze.

Her husband Cornelio is gallant and energetic, although a man of just a few words, you can see how his son acquired his calmness and coyness from him. The touch of Cornelio's hand on mine throughout the whole evening truly spoke a million words and made my eyes tear up (Mama, I cry so often now, it's such an odd sensation as you know that I hardly ever do that in normal circumstances!). Luca's parents brought Gia and I lots of homemade food and, of course, my favourite focaccia as Luca told them that I could live on focaccia alone for days without an end very easily. Needless to say, both Cornelio and Violetta are brilliant cooks. The longer I live in Italy, the more convinced I am that all Italians, female and male, old and young, cook wonderfully and the food here just has that added "ah!" whenever you finish eating a meal.

It was a pleasure seeing how Violetta and Cornelio shared loving smiles and looks after so many years they shared together. It reminded me of you and Dad, Mama. It reminded me of how much I miss you both, especially when I have a little baby growing underneath my heart and when I feel so full of love and marvel and yet so alone all at the same time. Their palpable love reminded me of Luca being so far away and made me wonder whether if he was here, would I share the same look and the same feeling when looking at him. And as this cascade always carries on, this particular thought made me think of Ken too. I always await his letters and I worried so much that he would stop writing or reduce the amount of letters he'd always send me since hearing the news of my marriage and now the baby on the way. However, I couldn't be more wrong even though he sent one letter after the telegram of my marriage which was clearly a very difficult one for him to write and it felt so unfamiliar, nevertheless, afterwards he came back to his normal self and he even sends an extra letter a week, it's four a week now (he ends every single one in reassuring me that he loves me, Mama, what on Earth am I supposed to do? I no longer know what sort of 'love' he speaks of...). He asks about how I feel almost every three lines, draws stars and clouds on every blank corner of the paper. Mama, he is so good to me, despite all the horrible sadness and heartbreak I have caused him already. My heart grows for him and I can feel it. Maybe it's the way my mind changes while carrying this little baby of mine and my heart simply grows for everyone who is so kind to me. However, it just feels different. Whenever I think of Ken I smile and I feel like tranquility of the world embraces me. When I think of Luca, I feel warmth in my chest, my fingers sweat, and I worry about him being out there in the trenches. However, I stopped worrying about Ken. I think his constant reassurance that he will survive this war and come back in one piece has truly made me believe him. Luca has always been unsure about enlisting (just like Walter actually) and he does worry when he is on the fighting line, thus I simply don't receive the same sort of reassurance from his side of the war. Mama, I don't know how long this war will haunt us for, everything seems so uncertain, my feelings for both Luca and Ken grow confusing with every day when I think of them both and lay the letters from them next to each other. Do you think I will ever be able to just 'know'?

I remember how you told me about your feelings for Dad and how you realised you loved him. I've always loved hearing about your story, but now it makes me wonder whether a similar situation might happen to me? And the fact of the matter is, if this will happen, who will my heart choose at the end?

The love I am certain of, however, is the one for the little angel that is residing under my heart. I haven't felt any moves or kicks yet, and I know that this is too early for that, my stomach is still quite as it was, maybe just slightly rounded. I am so excited for the changes my body will go through, and it already is going through them (my appetite changes and my emotions run deep and wild too) and Mama, April can't come soon enough!

Please let me know how you are all doing as often as you can. Give kisses and hugs to everyone at our beautiful Ingleside and the Manse. Tell me all the news, gossip and stories that you can think of. I miss hearing your voices, seeing you all in the flesh, you're all so far away and yet so close to me all at the same time. Just know that as soon as I am able, I will go across the ocean to see you.

I love you, Mama.

Forever your daughter,

Joyce


The October leaves dominated Joy's world, she breathed the crisp autumnal air, worked at a slower pace as she promised her loved ones, herself and her unborn child, and finally she had more free evenings just for herself. Joy's hair became very much left to its own devices and not put into any sort of hairstyle which at first made people of Pienza raise their eyebrows slightly, however, they quickly remembered that the particular red hair belonged to Joyce Blythe-Moretti and there was no point in questioning her not following the societal rules.

Halfway through October, on a moderately warm evening, Joy and Alma sat in Alma's garden together and watched the sunset over Tuscan fields uncover the eternal beauty of the place Joy so lovingly called her home. They were covered by blankets and scarfs, held hot tea in their hands and their gazes were upon the horizon and nature. Joy felt very much at peace then and marvelled at the rare moment when she actually felt like there was no worry in the world.

"You know, my dear, I've noticed recently that you came back to constant smiling like you used to do and I must say that it makes me very happy, it rubs off on me." Alma grinned kindly at Joy while raising her mug of tea in thanks.

Joy smiled widely and patted Alma's wrinkled hand softly "Oh, my lovely Alma, it's simply because of the hope that this baby brings into my thoughts every day." She explained and softly caressed her tiny bump underneath the wool jumper "I suppose it's the hope of the new life, of a new beginning, something that's completely brand new and can really make one's mind focus on something so different than the constant worry and fear for the others and the world itself." Joy closed her eyes for a moment as if to silently wish those worries and fears in her mind to run as far from her thoughts as possible.

"There are enough of us folks in this world to worry and fear things, dearest Joy." Alma said and gently grasped Joyce's hand in her own, looking decidedly into her eyes "And the truest portion of your soul was not made for that. It was made for making others smile, laugh and enjoy life. So I'm glad that this tiny baby makes you redirect your thoughts even if just for a moment."

Joy smiled happily at Alma "I think you're right, I was never made for worrying or fearing things too much, I never really have until the war. Well, of course I had some worries and anxieties here and there but they were always fleeting, never stayed in my heart for too long." She sighed "The war has a way of changing such constants in our lives, hasn't it?"

Alma nodded slowly and then glanced at Joy again "The problem you have, Joy, is that you are an awful over-thinker. Well, actually it's both a gift and a curse. The overthinking part of you makes you such a beautiful and complex soul and a wonderful writer, however, it also makes you prone to anxiety in such stressful situations which for example the war and any sort of uncertainty brings."

"You know, Alma, I actually used to love the uncertainty of things in the world before the war." Joy reflected, looking at the fields in front of her dreamily, a shining moment of her teenage self reappearing like an aura around her "When I left home, all by myself, at eighteen years old at that, it was such a scandal and I was ecstatic that I was the odd one out because I knew it meant I was doing something I actually wanted to do for myself, I could be myself. The uncertainty of the world outside of my home and Canada thrilled me beyond belief, and I haven't felt that feeling ever since I fully deciphered the realisation that I am indeed with child. The hope and opportunities for years to come make me feel like I am once again on that little ship, that last one from this terribly long journey from Canada all the way to Greece which was, of course, my first stop." Joy smiled while overseeing the Tuscan fields in front of her eyes, her memories flashing before her eyes "Alma, just imagine me as an eighteen year old girl, just about stopped putting my hair into braids and just started wearing long dresses, waiting at the front of the ship with my suitcases, the ocean breeze in my face, squinting my eyes desperately trying to see that brand new horizon, my new destination. I was the only one waiting, everyone else was asleep but I couldn't sleep despite being so tired. It was more than exhilarating, it felt like a perfect never-ending moment…" her eyes focused now on the cypress trees in the distance and she smiled once again "And that's how I feel about this new life growing underneath my heart. I realised that hope is truly everything and all that we have." She looked at Alma who was admiring her with wrinkles deepening upon her lips further adjusting into a smile.

Alma took Joyce's hand in her own again and gave her an understanding look, a look a grandmother would give to her granddaughter telling her that she loves her without the need to utter the words. Joy smiled back at her gratefully, her eyes filling up with bitter-sweet tears.

Both looked back onto the horizon in front of them, while holding each other's hands. Even in that moment Joy knew that she'd go back to this evening in her memories in years to come and she was correct. Hope was truly and fully in the air surrounding both Joy and Alma, and even though, as all things, it can be fleeting and changing, on that evening it was palpable enough to remain like a warm friendly embrace for the two ladies who needed the feeling of hope in their hearts more than they wanted to admit.