Chapter 2:
Emma turned toward him, standing in front of his hotel room, an anxious look on her face. "I need to talk to you."
"Are you crazy? What if Neal sees you?" He pushed open the door to his room and ushered the woman quickly inside.
"I'm sorry, I know this is insane, I shouldn't be here."
"You're right you shouldn't be. Why are you here?"
The boy whined loudly in her arms. "I'm sorry, is there somewhere I can I lay him down, he hasn't had his afternoon nap." Without waiting for a response, she laid her son on the bed, talking to him quietly as she tucked the covers over his shoulders. He could barely take his eyes off her, watching as she ran her fingers through the boy's hair.
She looked up at him and everything in his body threatened to shut down. "Emma, you really shouldn't be here."
"I've been thinking…" She sighed. "My parents didn't want me."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"My parent's they abandoned me when I was a baby, I spent a lot of years in foster care, but no one ever really wanted me. When I was old enough I emancipated, moved out on my own. I've never really been afraid of being alone, of not being wanted…but Henry…" She looked at her son, sleeping in the bed. "I don't want Henry to ever feel like his father abandoned him."
"I already told you, lass, I'm not here to ruin your life. I most certainly have no intention of hurting your child's chances either. I have no plans to reveal your secret to Neal. I'm not that kind of man."
"I believe that, and that's part of the reason I'm here." She shook her head. "He deserves to know his father. His real father."
"But that would mean…" He stepped away from her.
"It would mean that I need to talk to Neal." She replied softly. "I know."
"You can't do that. It would destroy him." A sick feeling was growing in his stomach. Neal would never forgive either of them.
"I can't live with this guilt; I get a sick feeling in my stomach every time he looks at me." Killian chuckled at the similarity of their feelings. "I didn't do any of this to hurt him, I thought I was protecting him and Henry, but I have lied to him, and he deserves to know the truth."
"You're getting married tomorrow."
"I'm perfectly aware of that." She said quietly. "But I can't walk down that aisle and promise myself to be faithful and true to him if I don't tell him the truth first."
"So, you're just going to tell him the truth, and then what? You walk down the aisle, and everyone is happy?"
"I don't know, I didn't get that far in my thought process." She laughed.
He watched the woman from his place in the room. He was still angry at her, even though he knew she had no way of finding him anymore than he did her after they separated that night. Neither knew the other's name, they had no way of contacting each other. But he was still angry as he looked over at the young boy asleep in his bed. He had a son and he had already missed so much of his life.
Killian had been up all night on the balcony thinking about his life, the things he had screwed up, things he had done right. Killian had spent every moment thinking only about himself, making his mark on the world, he never once stopped to think about anyone else. Sure, he had his brother, and he would do anything for Liam or even Robin and Neal, but when it came down to it, he only ever took care of himself.
But now…knowing that he had a son, suddenly things felt different. It was like the entire game had changed.
"He has my eyes." He finally responded. "But he has your nose."
She laughed, and when he looked up he realized she had tears in her eyes. "Sometimes when he's sleeping, he does that thing with his jaw that you do."
"Pardon me?"
"He clenches a bit when he's sleeping. I remembered you doing that too…" She stared off in the distance. "That night."
"You watched me sleep?" His brow rose when she turned to look at him.
"A bit. I had a lot on my mind. Plus, you're kind of easy on the eyes." He chuckled softly. "Pretty sure he got his attitude from you, that was apparent last night."
"Are you saying I had an attitude?"
"Actually, you were kind of a dick, but it was warranted, I'm sure it was a shock last night."
They each smiled and Killian realized how easy it was to fall into a conversation with her, the back and forth, give and take, the same reason he felt drawn to her the night at the bar. He stepped forward and offered her his hand. "Hi, I'm Killian Jones."
She shook her head with a gentle laugh and an unsure look on her face before shaking her hand with his. "Emma Swan."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Emma." He said with a nod.
"Can you ever forgive me?" She asked, biting her lip.
"There's nothing to forgive, love."
"I know this is going to be awkward and uncomfortable, and hell I have no idea how Neal is going to react, but I want you to get to know him. I want that for Henry. And for you." Her eyes shimmered with wet tears. "It's not your fault you didn't know and if you had, I have a feeling that things might have turned out differently."
"I probably would have done something ridiculously stupid." He mumbled.
She laughed, "I want you to know something…about that night."
"Love, there's no need to…"
She cut him off. "Yes there is. Neal and I had been dating, not exclusively, but we had been dating for about three months when I went to the conference. He had asked me to move in with him and I wasn't ready for a commitment like that." He leaned back against the wall, watching her face as she spoke. "Then I met you." She looked over at her son for a moment. "I didn't sleep with you because I was confused about Neal." She said firmly, turning her attention back to him. "My whole life I've always done what I wanted, I never had to worry about how it affected anyone else."
She stepped closer to him, and he swallowed, trying not to choke on the pit that was forming in his throat. "That night, with you, I had never done that before. You need to know that I wasn't the type of person to just jump in bed with a stranger."
"I never assumed that love."
"Good." She said with a soft smile. "But after you fell asleep, I just laid there, thinking about what I had done."
"You regretted it?" He responded with sadness.
"No, not a single minute." Her hand slid against his arm, and she looked up into his eyes. "There isn't a single day that goes by that I don't look into my son's eyes and think of you. No matter what happened, you gave me Henry and being his mother is the single most important thing I've ever done in my life."
He scanned her eyes, seeing the honesty of her words as she spoke. "If I had known about him, I swear to you I would have been there. I would have helped."
"And that is why I want you to be a part of his life."
He looked over at the boy sleeping peacefully in his bed and smiled. "I'd like that very much." Turning back to her he sighed. "So, what will you do now?"
"I don't know yet. I need to talk to Neal, try and explain all of this."
"He won't take this news lightly." He warned. "I've known Neal all of my life. Are you sure you want to do this? We could find another way so that you didn't need to expose yourself."
"I won't lie to him anymore and I can't ask you to do it either."
"I'd offer to assist, but I'm not certain my presence would make it better."
She laughed again, a sound that soothed his beating heart. "This is something I need to do alone." She walked over to her son, scooping his limp body into her arms, and depositing him into his stroller.
A look of worry washed over his face, he was certain Neal would react poorly to the news, he couldn't blame him, if he put himself in the man's place, he wasn't sure he would remain calm either. "You can stop worrying about me. I'm a big girl." She responded to his obvious concern.
"I don't doubt that, however I would feel better if you could keep me apprised of the situation. I don't want to walk into Neal's fist without first knowing it's coming." He chuckled.
She rolled her eyes and held out her hand, when he gazed at her quizzically, she smiled. "Phone." He pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to her as she punched in her number and sent herself a text. When she was finished she passed it back to him. "I'll let you know."
He peered down at his phone and opened the text.
Killian: Hey it's dark and stormy
He raised his brow and looked at her. "My drink order?"
"Your general attitude." She teased, pushing the stroller past him, and reaching for the door. "I'll let you know how it goes."
"Emma." He watched her leaving, a nagging feeling telling him he needed to be honest with her as well. She may be marrying Neal, but she meant something to him, she always had. He reached out and gently tugged her by the arm. "That night changed me too. I may not have known about Henry but being with you that night…I thought about you often."
"Killian…" she replied with a frown.
"Don't fret lass, I'm not about to declare my undying love for you or anything, I just want you to know that it wasn't just about sex for me, you were different, I never understood it, but you were. I tried to find you many times, at other conferences, on the faces of people I passed on the streets. I never stopped thinking about you, what could have been, I just…I wanted you to know that it meant something."
"It meant something to me too." She said with a sad smile, twisting the handle on the door and opening it.
"Hey Killian, you finally finish with that nap of…" Killian stared into the eyes of his best friend as he looked between his fiancé and himself. "Emma?"
"Neal…" Emma stepped toward him, and Neal pushed away from her.
"What the fuck is going on?"
"Emma was just…" He started to explain, to come up with anything to make Neal stop glaring at him with the heat of thousand suns. Emma put her hand on his chest.
"Killian, don't."
"What the fuck." Neal yelled. "Are you fucking my fiancé? You couldn't wait to get one last jab in at your ole best friend, is that it?"
Killian swallowed. "Stop it Neal. That's not what happened."
"No? So, you're just sneaking out of his hotel room, the day before our wedding because you were picking out bridal patterns?" He screamed.
"Mate, don't shout at her."
"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" He yelled, stepping into Killian's space.
"Everyone stop shouting." Emma demanded, stepping between him and Neal.
"I can't believe you would do this, Emma. You've known him a whole day." He glared at him. "And you, you just couldn't wait to use that Jones charm on her. Were you that jealous that I finally got a life that you wanted to ruin it for me?"
"I would never do that." Killian argued. "I was happy, I am happy for you. You're my best friend."
"Bullshit. Friends don't do this. Not this Killian."
"Neal, if you would please let me explain." Emma interrupted.
"Explain what? That the day before our wedding, you just had to have one more roll in the hay, before you got stuck with my dick forever, and of course to jab the knife in further you just had to pick him. Honestly Emma, I would have accepted it being anyone else, but him. Why him?"
"We weren't sleeping together." Emma closed her eyes as she spoke just as Robin approached the group.
"What'd I miss?" Robin asked anxiously.
"Just my best friend having a go at my fiancé, with my fucking kid in the room."
"Um…What?" Robin turned toward him. "I thought we talked about this last night, you were going to walk away."
Neal narrowed his eyes. "Last night? Jesus Christ, how quickly did the two of you fuck after meeting?"
"I didn't have sex with her, Mate." Killian said forcefully.
"So, you're going to stand here and tell me that you've never had sex with Emma?"
Killian's jaw tensed as he looked at Emma, his eyes gazing back to Neal. "Don't do it, Killian." Robin warned beside him, and Killian gritted his teeth. He couldn't lie to Neal.
"I can't do that." He responded, just as the fist connected with his face and he crumpled against the wall.
"Jesus Neal." He heard Emma yell as a pair of arms grabbed him around the elbow, pulling him back to his feet.
"Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on." He heard his brother's booming voice from the other end of the hall.
"Oh good, the gang's all here." Killian chuckled as he spit blood from his mouth onto the ground.
"Killian fucked Emma." Neal growled and his brother turned a disappointed eye his direction. Killian shrugged his shoulders.
"It wasn't recent." He growled.
"What the hell does that mean?" Neal laughed.
"It was a long time ago." Killian heard Emma's voice behind Neal and Neal turned to face her, the change in his direction allowed him to see the woman, tears falling down her face. "I met him at that Vegas convention that we both went to." Robin sighed beside him. "I never meant to hurt you; I didn't know what I wanted then. You wanted to move in, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that kind of commitment."
Neal's shoulders sagged as he leaned against the wall. Emma pressed forward, taking his hand. "I came back to you, I decided I needed to grow up, to take a chance so I came home, and we moved in together."
"So, to be fair, one could say that shagging me, pushed her to you." Killian joked, something that no one witnessing the scene found funny.
"Shut the fuck up, Jones." Neal spat and Robin shook his head disapprovingly as if to tell him now was not the time.
"I never told him my name and I didn't know his."
"And you never showed us a picture of the woman you were with; I had no way of knowing my dalliance in Vegas was in any way related to you. I didn't even know where she lived, Mate. The first time I had seen her since then was last night, I swear."
"I don't even know how to process this." Neal blew out a ragged breath. "I knew you weren't sure about moving in with me, but when you got home, you just seemed different. I never questioned it."
"I was sure."
"Because you had sex with him, and then suddenly you could settle for a life with me?"
"No, I just, I couldn't be that person, the one-night stand person, I needed to grow up."
"So, you moved in with me so you could be a responsible adult?" He asked sarcastically. "Isn't that romantic. Here I thought you did it because you loved me."
"I did." She argued. "I do. I just…"
"God, I don't feel like I know you at all. Everything I thought about our life has been a lie."
"That's not true, Neal." She pleaded.
"Would you have even stayed with me if you hadn't gotten pregnant right after we…" He paused, his hand slowly covering his mouth as if the realization was taking over, the moment that Killian had been dreading the entire time. "Oh God."
"Neal, can we please go and…"
"He's not mine." He whispered, staring at the floor. "Those goddamn blue eyes." He muttered, an angry laugh following. "He's not mine, is he?" He asked angrily as his eyes raged with fire.
Killian dropped his head to his chest, he felt Robin's hand on his shoulder.
"No." Emma cried, and Killian wanted more than anything to wrap her in his arms and hold her, to protect her, but he knew that it would only make matters worse. "I'm sorry Neal, I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry brother." Killian responded quietly.
"Don't." Neal pushed away from the wall. "I don't want either of you talk to me. I can't even look at you without wanting to vomit on the floor or punch you in the face." He growled in his direction. He marched toward the other end of the hallway as Emma sunk to her knees crying next to the stroller. Killian looked toward his brother, sadness on his face.
"I'll go talk to him." He said with a nod. "Take care of them." He said to Robin.
"Emma." He walked toward her, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
"I'm fine. Please, don't look at me like that, I'm fine. I deserved everything he said."
"Aye, myself included, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.
"Can Henry rest in your room? I just need to take a walk." She said, standing and brushing herself off.
"Do you need company?" He asked sincerely.
"No. I need to believe alone, I just need to think."
Robin nodded and Killian watched as she walked down the hallway, her arms wrapped around her waist.
Emma could feel her heart pounding in her chest, she knew the conversation with Neal was going to be difficult, but having him find her with Killian, having the truth come out the way it did was never something she anticipated.
She deserved his ire, she deserved the words he threw at her, yet it didn't make it hurt less.
Emma knew that if she had never gotten pregnant, she may not have ever needed to bring up her indiscretion, but she could never say that she wished she hadn't had Henry. She could live with her mistakes, she would own the consequences, but no matter what those ended up being, she would always have her son.
She loved Neal, but if he couldn't forgive her, she could live with that as long as she had Henry.
No matter what Neal decided, she would be fine.
She walked around for what felt like hours until she wandered into the pool area. She sat down on one of the lounge chairs, staring at the water spilling over the small waterfall built into it.
"Hey Ems." She looked up to see Neal walking slowly toward her, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he looked around nervously.
"I'm so sorry." She said softly as the tears threatened to fall again.
"I know." He took a seat on the lounger and exhaled. They sat in silence for a moment, neither sure what to say. "Did you always know?" He turned toward her calmly. "That he wasn't mine?"
Emma shook her head, the tears finally leaving her eyes. "Not at first, no. Honestly, it didn't occur to me to think anything at all…" She shook her head. "But then he was born, and he had those beautiful blue eyes and that dark hair and…"
"I always knew Jones would make beautiful babies."
"I hoped I was wrong, I really did. But when I realized the truth, I had no way of knowing who his father was, and I wanted him to have a father who would love him, and you did love him so much." She cried.
"Answer me something, Em." He took her hand and held it in his. "If you could have known sooner who he was, would you have still chosen me to be his father?"
"I…" She didn't know how to answer that question. She realized last night that it would be wrong to keep Killian from knowing his son, that it would be unfair for Henry not to have the chance to know his father. "You don't have to be his dad for him to love you like one."
"But would you still choose me? You were so unsure about us moving in together. You ran, like you always did, and you ran into another man's bed. Without Henry, would you and I still be together?" His voice was low, and calm.
"I do love you." She replied, choking back her tears.
"I know that Em, but you didn't answer the question." He said with a laugh. "I think it's because you already know the answer."
"I came home to you, I didn't know I was pregnant then, I still came home to be with you." She sobbed.
"And how long would that have lasted? Vegas scared you. Being with Killian scared you, so you ran back to me, to safety."
"No. I wasn't scared, I realized I needed to take responsibility, be a grown up. That's what being with Killian did for me." He smiled, running his hand across her cheek.
"I don't want you to be with me because it's the right thing to do. I want you to be with me because there's nothing else you want in the world except for me. To know that you can't picture your life any other way."
"That's not fair."
"No, it's not. Losing you isn't fair either."
Emma choked back her tears. "What are you saying?"
"I love you, Ems, I'll always love you, but…" She felt her heart crumble in her chest. "I don't know if I'm a big enough man to look in that boy's eyes and know he's Killian's every single day and not feel like I'm having a knife stabbed in my chest every time he stares back."
"He can still be your son."
"I'm not walking out of his life. I'll always be there for Henry, and after I learn to be ok with this, I'll be the best Uncle I can be, but I'm not there yet."
"What about us? I swear to you, I never looked at another man once we moved in together." She cried.
"I think we need some time..."
"I don't want time, I want you." She begged.
"And if you still feel that way after some time apart, then we'll talk. But right now, I can't be with you." Emma's tears pooled in her eyes, she felt heartbroken and embarrassed.
"I'm so sorry."
"Hey, we'll talk alright. Whatever happens, you're gonna be alright." He stood up, looking at her one more time. "I'll contact all the appropriate people and make the cancellations, just take care of Henry. I'm gonna stay at the office for a while, you take the apartment. I'll come see you in a few weeks."
"I don't know how to do this." She cried.
"You're the strongest woman I know, don't count yourself out yet." He walked away, disappearing around the corner before Emma sunk down into the lounger, covering her face as she sobbed.
Killian watched the boy playing in his stroller, the way his lip turned up when he smiled, the sparkle of his blue eyes.
"How's your eye?" Robin asked from the bed.
"I'll live. He should have hit me harder."
There was a knock on the door and Robin got up to open it. Liam walked through the door and nodded at Robin. When their eyes met, Killian looked at the ground. He was sure his brother had to be disappointed in him.
"He's have a conversation with Emma now." Liam announced. "Had to do a lot of talking to make that happen instead of what he wanted to do."
"What's that?" Killian asked.
"Kick your ass." He laughed.
"You should have let him." He exhaled.
"Cut the martyr shit. The way I see it you had sex with a woman at a convention center. Nothing villainous about that."
"He's been raising a kid that he thought was his for two years."
"Which you knew nothing about, right?"
"I wouldn't have lied to him about that for two bloody years."
"Alright then, that's the end of it." His brother said matter-of-factly.
"Mama." The boy babbled from his stroller. "Want mama." He said with a frown, tears threatening in the angry corners of his eyes.
Killian looked at Robin and Liam for assistance. "He's your kid." Liam shrugged.
"I don't know what to do with him, I've been a dad for all of 24 hours."
"Then you better figure it out fast." Liam said, raising his brow, a look that told Killian that Liam had expected that Killian would be taking his responsibilities seriously from now on.
Killian bent down, pulling the boy from the stroller. "Ok lad, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing here, so I'm gonna need you to work with me here." He held the toddler against his chest.
"Mama."
"I know, she'll be back soon, right now you're stuck with me." He laughed.
"Maybe that's the cause for his angst." Robin joked and Liam gave him a disapproving nod.
"I'm Killian." He announced to the boy. "You don't know me yet, but I'm hoping we can be friends." He spoke softly and the child stopped crying as if trying to hear his words. "I know I haven't been around before, but I promise I'm not going anywhere." His mouth was set in a frown, large beads of water sat on his chubby cheeks from the tears he had shed.
The boy reached out and put a hand on Killian's cheek and he felt his heart stop.
There was a knock on the door and Liam stepped back to open it. Neal was standing on the other side of the door. Killian supposed it was a good thing he was holding Henry, at least this way he was certain Neal wouldn't strike him while he was holding the lad. They made eye contact and Killian suddenly felt guilty for holding Henry, his heart broke at the way Neal seemed to shrink from the sight of seeing Killian holding the boy he had thought until today was his son.
"I think we need to talk." He responded, and Killian nodded.
"Aye."
"Let's get something to eat." Liam announced, smacking Robin lightly on the back. "No fighting." He lectured them both as if they were children. When the door closed behind them, Killian walked over to the stroller and set Henry into his seat.
"You have no idea how much I looked forward to you meeting him, and now…" He sighed. "Now seeing you with him…"
"I'm sorry, Neal, I truly am."
"All our lives you beat me in everything, you were the first to walk, said your first words earlier than me, took the prom queen to the dance…"
"None of that was a competition."
"Maybe not to you, remember Sandy Griffins?" Killian shook his head that he didn't. "Of course you don't, because she didn't mean anything to you, but she meant everything to me. She was the first woman I ever loved, I waited for her at the coffee shop every day for a year waiting to ask her out. And then out of nowhere, she shows up with you."
"Ever think that maybe if you had spoken to her in that year instead of just watching her, you might have gotten to her first?"
"It never mattered, you were the one who could draw, you became the architect, and I was always just the other guy."
"I wasn't out to get you, Cassidy."
"Maybe not, but this time, this time I won. I found the most amazing woman I had ever laid eyes on, and she was mine. And I made sure she stayed mine. I kept her away from you. And finally, I had the life, a woman I was going to marry, and a boy, a beautiful perfect baby boy who was all mine!" Killian sighed sadly. "And somehow you took all of that away from me again."
"Why did you never talk to me about how you felt before? I've always loved you like a brother; I have never held ill will or malice toward you. But you have to know that if I had known that Emma was your girlfriend I never would have pursued her."
"And yet here we are."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Leave. Go back to England and never come back. Stay away from Emma and Henry." He spoke in an even but flat tone. Killian stared at his friend before looking down at the boy in the stroller.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
"Not even to save our relationship?" He asked.
"You're my brother and I love you, and I'm sorry for what this has done to you, I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now, but I won't abandon the boy. I may not have been there when he was born or been able to watch him grow like you have, but I am the boy's father, and I would never walk away from that responsibility." He paused. "Even for you."
His jaw tensed and then he pushed away from the wall, causing his body to tense. "Good." Killian shook his head in confusion. "You're right, you haven't been there. Did you know that Emma was in labor for 23 hours with him?" Killian gestured that he didn't. "It was a hell of a pregnancy, she was sick most of the time, and when she went into labor she wasn't even sure she could get through the ordeal. But Emma's a strong woman and even after 23 hours she kept her strength and Henry was brought into the world at three o'clock in the morning. I took one look at him, and I knew I would protect him for the rest of my life."
"I'm not trying to take your place."
"I know. But he's gonna need his father, and don't you dare let anything, including me, ever get in the way of you being there for him." He wrapped his arms around Neal's back and embraced him. When they finally broke the hug, he looked at the man.
"So now what?"
"Now I go lick my wounds and figure out who I am."
"What about Emma?"
He sighed. "I don't know."
"She came home to you; she chose you to be Henry's father."
"I know, but there's something I learned about Emma a long time ago. She has a fear of being abandoned, did you know her parents left her when she was a child, just tossed her out like she was trash. Emma would never want that for her son. She would have stayed with me even if it wasn't her choice."
"But you were her choice."
"Yes, her only choice, because she couldn't find you."
"That's not fair, we spent one night together, that doesn't mean that my being in her life would have made a difference in whether she choose you or not."
"Perhaps not, but a part of me will always wonder."
"But you love her." He argued.
"You know me, I'm a selfish prick, I love that woman, but if I have to wonder if she loves me as much as I love her, the moment I question that, it's never going to be enough."
"So, you're just going to end things with her? Just like that, the day before your wedding?"
"Don't get too excited, I'll still kick your ass if you pursue her right now." He said seriously.
"You really think that little of me?"
Neal sighed. "She's an amazing woman, I wouldn't blame you for going after her, I'm just asking that you don't. I don't know what's going to happen between her and I, but I'd like to have the opportunity to figure that out. You're Henry's father, there's nothing I can do about that, but until an hour ago, she was going to be my wife."
"You have my word."
"Now…" He said with a laugh. "I think I'm going to drown my sorrows in beer."
"You want company."
"Not tonight, maybe next time." He said with a smile that told Killian that even though things felt awful now, eventually they would be ok.
He walked over to Henry's stroller and ruffled the boy's hair. "He really does look like you." He smiled widely. "Poor kid."
And with that, Neal walked out the door.
Emma wandered the grounds of the hotel for what felt like hours, she knew she needed to get back to her son, to go home and pick up the pieces from the explosion that was her life. She felt emotionally numb by the time she found herself standing in front of Killian's hotel room. She knocked on the door and waited until she saw his face on the other side of the door.
"Are you alright, love?"
"I'm honestly not sure right now." She laughed. "But I will be."
She stepped into the room, seeing her son sitting on the floor surrounded by a mountain of pillows and blankets. She caught his eye and laughed. "I wasn't sure if it was safe for him to roam."
She sat down in the middle of the pillow fort and covered her eyes. The little boy laughed and grabbed her hands away from her face. "Mama pee a boo." She laughed, scooping the boy into her arms, and squeezed him tightly. "Too much." He complained and Emma released him with a giggle.
"Sorry baby."
"What will you do now?"
"Well, the wedding is off." She sighed. "Not that I should have been surprised by that."
"Aye, I heard. I'm sorry." She stood up, looking at his face.
"Does it hurt?" She touched his eye and he winced.
"Just my pride." He joked.
"So, when do you go back to London?"
"I have to do a presentation on Sunday for an important client, my flight leaves tomorrow morning."
She shook her head and exhaled. "Well, I hope you'll keep in touch. I did mean it; I want him to know his father."
"Aye, I was going to talk to you about that." He paused. "I do have to go home for a short time, but I would like to return, have an opportunity to get to know the lad. If you'll permit it."
"I would like that, but doesn't your brother need you at home?"
"I think he can manage without my physical presence. I haven't taken a vacation in years."
"As long as you are sure, I don't want to be the cause of any more problems for you." She said seriously, not wanting to inconvenience the man's life further after upending everything he knew in the span of 24 hours.
"You've given me the opportunity to get to know my son, you're trusting me with something so precious to you, and I don't intend to let you down."
She felt the tears slide across her cheek, afraid that she was about to break down again, not wanting to show that kind of weakness in front of the man in the room. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to hold it together here." She laughed, looking up to see him walking toward her. She tensed when he reached her.
"Even the strongest woman is allowed to fall apart now and then." And without another word, he wrapped her in his arms and held her against his chest. For the first time that day, Emma let someone else be her strength as she released all of her weight against him, letting the tears fall freely. She allowed him to lead her to the corner of the bed, pulling her down on his lap as she released the remaining grief and anger of the last few hours, letting the stress fall free from her.
She didn't know how long they sat like that, how long she allowed him to brush his fingers through her hair, to whisper reassurances against her scalp. She didn't know why she even allowed a man she had barely known for more than a few days to see her so vulnerable; she only knew that she didn't want to feel alone.
"Mama, up." She turned her head to see her son pulling himself up to stand beside her. Emma simply reacted, lifting her son into her lap, and kissing the boy's cheek. It was only then that she realized how ridiculous the moment was. Holding her son while she sat in Killian's lap on his bed in the middle of his hotel room.
She looked up, meeting his eye as his dark orbs looked through her, his hand drawing lazy circles against her back. "I uh…"
He cleared his throat, moving his arm, giving her the opportunity to remove herself from his embrace. "Yeah, it's getting late, I'm sure the lad is tired."
He helped her put Henry's things into the stroller and walked her to the door. Emma turned before she reached it. "Killian…" She paused when she realized how close he was to her. "I don't know that I can give you anything more than the chance to know Henry. I mean, I just ruined one relationship before I could walk down the aisle, I'm not sure that I'm going to be ready for anything besides friendship."
"I get that you find me devilishly handsome, striking one might say, but I'm afraid you're going to have to control yourself around me, love."
"Ok smartass." She smirked, pulling the door open and pushing the stroller into the hall. "Don't be a stranger." She remarked before making her way back to her empty apartment.
A few years later
"Happy birthday to you." A chorus of voices sang to the boy at the table.
"Make a wish baby." Emma told her son and Killian watched him blow out the candles, his eyes squeezed shut. He could hardly believe the boy was turning four.
"What did you wish for, lad?" Killian asked the boy.
"I can't tell you that, daddy." The boy giggled when Killian lifted him out of his chair and blew kisses against his neck.
"Ok, put him down before he pukes up his pizza." Emma swatted at Killian as she brought the plates to the table. "Do you want cake, Neal?"
"I'm watching my weight, Ems." Neal joked as he pressed a hand to his stomach.
"Watching it go where?" Killian remarked with a wink.
"Bite me, Jones. I'm serious, I've been going to the gym five times a week lately. You might want to step inside one now and then, those jeans are looking a little tight." Killian waited until Emma turned around before flipping Neal the bird.
"Would you two make yourself useful and deliver these to the backyard." She passed a plate to each of them and pushed them out the backdoor.
"Women." Neal remarked loudly before she shut the door behind them. "We've got cake." Neal announced to the men in the backyard.
"Finally." Robin took the plate from Killian's hands and dug in immediately. "Did Em make this?" Killian rolled his eyes as the man spoke with his mouth full, sitting down in the seat across from his brother.
"Store bought, when do you think Ems would have time to bake?" Neal joked. "I swear she hasn't stopped working for two months straight."
"Someone should give her a day off." Killian stated loudly as he popped the cap on his beer.
"Trust me, I've tried." Liam responded. "She always cancels it."
"Who needs a vacation when I have you guys." Emma's voice interrupted them, with Henry running through the backyard holding a small sailboat in his hand and a cowboy hat on his head.
"Look what dad got me." Henry announced, holding the boat up proudly in his hands.
"That's a pretty neat ship there, lad." His brother inspected the small boat.
"Where'd you get the cool hat, son?"
"Uncle Neal." He said loudly. "You wanna try it on?" He pushed the hat into his hands and Killian slipped it onto his head.
"You're head's too big, daddy."
"You're just not cool enough for the hat, Jones." Neal teased, lifting Henry into his arms, and running through the yard with him.
"You want to go out tonight?" Robin asked when it was just he and Killian left at the table. Killian looked across the yard at Emma throwing away plates of food.
"I think I'm just gonna help clean up here and head back to the hotel. I have a couple projects I need to complete. Wouldn't want the boss to fire me if I miss my deadline."
"All work and no play, brother." Liam said with a wink.
His eyes continued to follow Emma who was watching her son play with Neal with a soft smile on her face. Killian could hardly believe how much his life had changed since finding out Henry was his.
The first few months had been awkward and sometimes quite explosive. While Neal was accepting of his inclusion in Henry's life, he wasn't always accommodating. Killian had been true to his word, while he still lived in London, he made sure to visit the boy a few times a month. Flying back and forth was exhausting and after a few months he realized he couldn't keep up at that pace.
He had begun spending every other month in the states, doing virtual presentations to complete his job tasks and then returning to London and keeping up with Zoom calls to Henry and Emma. It wasn't always easy, but Killian was determined to make it work.
Spending time with the boy had been more rewarding than anything else he had ever done in his life. The first time he called him daddy, Killian thought his heart had stopped. It was the greatest day of his life.
Emma had been very helpful in learning the new role of being a father, she was always patient with him, always offering tips when Henry wasn't looking to assist him in doing the right thing. He admired her for the way she was raising the boy on her own. Even if Neal and Killian were always around to take turns watching him when she had to work, or even just spending the day with him to allow her to sleep, Emma was always taking care of her boy.
He had been the one to suggest to his brother to hire Emma on as a designer for the firm. She was working day and night for half the pay at the company she was employed by, and Killian knew that working for his brother would allow her medical insurance and benefits for her and Henry. The move had paid off, Emma was a great asset to the company, she was very talented, though she said it had more to do with her adding a woman's perspective to a company full of men.
Either way, Killian was happy to have her, even if it was not in the way he wanted to have her. Killian had made the promise to Neal not to pursue Emma while they were figuring out their relationship and he had kept his word. As far as he knew, Neal had begun dating other women, maintaining a relationship with Henry as "Favorite Uncle" just as he had promised.
Emma did not seem concerned with Neal's dating, nor did she seem interested in dating anyone herself.
Killian had spent so much of his time focused on his son that women had become something of a non-issue to him. He had no time to focus on anything besides his son…and Emma. They had become good friends during the past few years, he had even spent the night at her new home on multiple occasions while visiting Henry. After many nights spent on her couch, the next visit he found a portable bed set up for him in the office.
They had flirted on occasion, usually after nights of having a couple of drinks after work, but never anything that crossed the line between them. Not that he hadn't thought of it, he had on many occasions, but never acted on it for fear or ruining the peace they had found in their little family.
"You know, Neal is bringing a woman with him tonight. Tamra I think is her name." His brother interrupted his thoughts.
"I don't think I've heard her name before."
"I met her last time we visited, but I think it might be serious this time."
"Interesting, he never mentioned her." Killian said with a shrug.
"Well, I think he'd like to sire his own children eventually without your assistance." Robin joked and Killian laughed loudly. "You sure you haven't been with a woman lately, perhaps he'd better show you a photo of his date before they take this any further."
"Very funny, Mate." Killian growled.
"My point has been lost." Liam continued. "It appears that Neal has moved on, which leaves other options open to you."
"Other options?" Killian asked with a raise of his brow.
"Perhaps with the boy's mother?"
Killian frowned and turned his attention toward Emma. "I'm uncertain how to navigate through those dangerous waters."
His brother stood, watching the scene in front of them. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets."
The rest of the evening his brother's words resonated in his brain like a clock that wouldn't stop ticking in his ear. He had a choice, do nothing, and let everything continue how it was, a peace between Emma, Neal, and himself. Or pursue an opportunity with Emma, and risk upending everything they had built.
He lifted the garbage bag out of the trash can, tying it off and walking it to the curb. When he returned to the house, Emma was standing at the sink washing dishes. "I think that's all of it." He announced and she turned toward him with a smile before returning to the task at hand.
"I just put Henry down if you want to catch him before he's asleep."
He nodded and walked to the back room, peeking into the room at his son. "Hey kiddo, did you have a great birthday?"
"The best." He beamed happily. "Are you leaving?"
"Aye, as soon as the house is back in ship shape order." The boy frowned. "But I'll be back tomorrow before I leave for my flight."
He sat up in his bed as Killian approached him. "Why don't you live here?" Killian had always expected this conversation, though he wasn't prepared with how he would respond.
"Well, my work is in London." He sat down next to his son.
"But I'm here." He said with a whine. "And mommy."
"I know, and I'll be back to see you next month." He ran his hands through the boy's hair, a frown forming on the child's face.
"But I'll miss you."
Killian's heart broke seeing his son upset, he would do anything in the world for the boy not to see him hurt. "I know Henry, perhaps I can convince your mother to take a vacation and you could come and visit me in London, would you like that?"
He smiled brightly, "Would I get to fly?"
"Absolutely." He leaned over and kissed the boy on his head, laying him back against his pillow. "Now get some sleep, it was a busy day for you today."
"I love you daddy."
Killian smiled, kissing the boy's forehead. "I love you too, my boy. Have pleasant dreams."
He stepped out into the hall and found Emma standing against the wall. "Now he won't stop talking about flying for a month." She said with a smile.
"Sorry if I overstepped, but I would very much enjoy it if Henry came for a visit."
"I think he would like that too." She said, handing him a glass, he took a sip and smiled.
"Dark and stormy, haven't had one of these in a while." He followed her to the living room and took a seat next to her on the couch.
"I've been thinking…"
He narrowed his eyes. "I hope it didn't hurt too much."
She pushed her shoulder against his with a small laugh. "What if Henry and I came to stay with you next month?"
"You're serious?"
"Liam has been bugging me about coming to visit headquarters, he has a few clients he wanted to get me in touch with over there, thought it might be a good time to do it."
"So, you're just coming for business purposes?"
"And so that Henry can visit you, unless you know of any other reason for me to visit?"
He swallowed, watching her eyes dance playfully as she stared at him. "Perhaps if you had a friend with knowledge of the town, he might give you a tour."
"I have plenty of friends in London." She said with a shrug.
"Maybe a friend with a bit more intimate knowledge of…" He leaned toward her.
"What if I was interested in something a little less friend and a little more intimate." His eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face.
"That depends, love." She frowned, glaring at him. "Do you intend to give the gent your name first?" She slapped him on the shoulder, shoving against him playfully, and his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling her against him as his lips captured hers. Kissing her was different than he remembered, not the act itself, but the feeling that immediately overtook him when she returned the kiss with passion. It was like electricity attacking his spine, and the rate that his heart was pounding in his chest was faster than he remembered.
When they pulled apart, she kept eyes closed, her tongue gliding against her lips as if she were savoring his taste. When she finally opened her eyes, she was staring at him with uncertainty, as if she wasn't sure what she wanted to say next.
"That was…" She blinked slowly as if caught in a trance.
"Worth the wait." He finished. "Though I would have waited a lifetime if that's what you wanted."
"Why? All these years you never even attempted to hit on me." She asked seriously.
"You're the mother of my child, my best friend's ex, a co-worker, and the love of my life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate through that kind of storm?"
"I'm sorry, can you back up a minute, I'm what?"
"Mother of my child, my best friends…"
"Not that part!"
"You're the love of my life." He replied honestly. "I never wanted to push you in one direction or the other, I told you I would be here for you as a friend and I meant it, but that hasn't stopped me from falling in love with you. You are incredibly talented, a hard worker, a beautiful woman. Believe me, I've tried not to develop feelings for you, but watching you each day with our son, the way you care for him, how deeply you love, I couldn't stop myself."
She launched herself into his arms, her lips attacking his mouth, his jaw, it was as if she were enveloping him in her embrace. Suddenly she pulled back, her eyes dark and wanting. "Hi." She said softly and he couldn't help but chuckle.
"Hey."
"Not to sound too forward, but I find you very attractive, perhaps even striking, and the accent is sexy as hell. I was thinking maybe you'd want to spend the night with me?"
"That's mighty presumptuous of you, love?" She bit her lip. "However, while you are correct in your assumption, I was actually hoping it would be more than just the one night."
"How long were you thinking?" She asked with a look of hope in her eyes.
"However long you'll have me, Emma Swan." He grinned.
"I'm thinking it might be a long time, Killian Jones." She smirked.
"Aye, that it may." Lifting her from the couch, he carried her to her room knowing that tomorrow she would wake in his arms, and they would start a new chapter. A chapter of family, a chapter of forgiveness, a chapter of love in the lives of Killian Jones and Emma Swan.
