Diarchy By Ninetails2000/RVroovie99 Chapter 7: Honeymead

AN: Another Bowser Day is upon us so have another chapter of Diarchy! I apologize for the sporadic upload schedule I maintain with this and other writings of mine. Writing is something I love to do, but the mood to write is fleeting, so I tend to have dry spells. Thank you so much for all the favorites, follows and kind words.


Days in Bowser's castle passed swiftly. If Bowser and Luigi could be considered inseparable beforehand, they would be attached at the hip now. One of the first things Bowser did after arranging for Luigi's new living situation was announce the truth of the situation-that he and Luigi had become friends in all this time and that Luigi was now a guest-to his children along with unofficially calling off his plot. To say they were confused would be an understatement but since they still technically had possession of Luigi and their father seemed to be happier than he had been in a very long while, they ultimately decided to roll with it. Bowser and Luigi would share every waking minute they could discussing life, sharing their opinions and interests an just in general hanging out and occasionally assisting the builders with refurbishing what would become Luigi's room. On one such day, the two had taken to helping out with the bathroom. Luigi's plumbing skills proved to be beyond what any of the Hammer Brother carpenters knew and he ended up spearheading the project.

"Hey little man, I brought you some joe and donuts!" Bowser called to Luigi from the main room, just setting down the snacks onto a foldable table.

"Aah, thank you big guy! I'll be out in a moment!"

Bowser smiled a big dopey smile. He'd never been so happy in his entire life. Although he still had his reservations about how others would react to them being so chummy together, he had grown so comfortable with Luigi by his side, It was as if they were always friends and their hatred of each other was just a misunderstanding. "Come on out here and get 'em or I'll start without you, slowpoke!"

"Hold on, hold on! I'm coming!" Luigi dashed out of the bathroom, overalls soaked with the straps hanging limply over his work belt, trying to wipe himself dry with his shirt. "Sorry, there was a leak in one of the pipes. I went to apply some sealant, but apparently the mains were still going so I ended up taking a bath..."

Bowser's eyes were fixated on his friend. He watched as Luigi's biceps bulged with every brush of the shirt, how the water dripped down his chest, getting caught within the patch of wiry brown chest hair, rolling between his subtle-but-firm pecs down the side of his slightly chubby belly to the waistband of his briefs that peeked out at the sides where his overalls hung the lowest, as the wet denim seemed to cling perfectly to the shape of his body, accentuating every unknown curve and bulge he had hiding under his usually modest outfits. Bowser was absolutely blindsided. It wasn't even like he hadn't seen them out of their overalls before but for all the time he knew them, he never expected a Mario Brother could look so...appetizing...

"Hmm?" Luigi finally finished drying his face and was a bit confused to see his big friend staring a hole through him. "You alright big guy?"

"Ooh, I'm f-fine..." Bowser knew he was blushing. Even after all this time, he couldn't help but wear that particular emotion on his sleeve. "Just...Well...I never knew you were so...Ahem...built..." Bowser shrugged.

"Oh?" A shot of vulnerability hit and Luigi couldn't help but try to cover himself up with his shirt. "W-well when you've been a plumber for as long as I have...a-and do the kind of stuff I do with Mario here...you just kinda..." Luigi chuckled nervously "I mean even though I still have a bit of a beer gut, but..."

"...D-don't worry, it's not bad or anything..." Bowser's eyes were all over Luigi. "In fact, it's quite the opposite..." Bowser shook the thoughts from his head before Luigi could grasp what he just said. "I mean, we're buddies. We don't have to hide from each other...right?" Bowser motioned between himself and Luigi.

"I...guess you're right..." Luigi thought it over for a bit before smiling. "Well, let's just consider it my way of coming out of my shell for you..." Luigi chuckled, walking up to Bowser and knocking on his shell before setting down to make himself a cup of coffee.

"R-right...Right..." Bowser knew what Luigi meant but the thought just made him more uncomfortable. Knowing that this was Luigi being physically vulnerable made him uncomfortable with himself. He would have to make up for it.


Mario woke from another night's restful sleep. Creaking his eyes open with a yawn, he couldn't help but look over at his lovely wife, still "Decorated" from last night. He knew that neither of them wanted to have kids any time soon, but seeing your beautiful wife lay there peacefully in the aftermath of the night before? That just brings out a whole new kind of pride.

"Hey honey, good morning..." Mario softly nudged his wife awake.

"Mmmmh..." Peach slowly stirred, her beautiful eyes dazzling in the morning sun. "Morning Mario..." She snuggled up to Mario, Leaving sweet kisses along his cheek.

"Hehe, I take it you liked last night?" Mario couldn't help but be smug after all they did.

"Mmmh, I've never had so much fun..." Peach purred lustily in Mario's ear. "You certainly know how to clear out my pipes..."

Mario chuckled. "Hehe, I almost want to double-check. Make sure you're REALLY good and done..."

Peach poked Mario cutely on the nose. "Aah-aah Mario. We were going to visit your brother today." Peach slid out of bed, grabbing her nightgown up from the floor and tossing Mario his boxers. "It's been nearly two months since we got married and we haven't seen him. I wonder what he's been up to..."

"Hehe, knowing him, he's probably just jealous." Mario slid the briefs up as he got out of bed. "He's always felt like he's too good for this place, always hiding away and complaining about people not 'Getting' him." Mario chuckled as he gathered some fresh clothes for a shower. "He's probably just cooped up in the house cryin'."

"Now Mario, that's not nice." Peach huffed at her husband's careless words.

"Aah, I'm just joking Peach." Mario shrugged as he headed into the bathroom. "I honestly got no idea what he's been up to. With all of this going on, I haven't even thought of him..."

"Well then let's get freshened up and then we'll go and visit." Peach smiled bright at the idea as she followed Mario into the bathroom.

Mario and Peach walked hand-in-hand through Toad Town, getting cheers and praise as they walked. Mario in his rise to king had traded in his plumber's clothes for a vibrant scarlet colored zoot suit with a silky cobalt blue undershirt. Although he couldn't resist wearing a hat instead of a crown, he still upgraded to a fancy scarlet peaked cap lined with gold trim and an elaborate golden crown shaped cap badge with his signature M within it.

Mario was also able to extend his influence to his new wife as well and Peach decided to trade in the frilly, elaborate ballgown dresses of her princesshood with a punch-pink strapless Maxi sundress, a baby-pink colored bolero jacket with elaborate golden trim, matching heels and silky white, lace trimmed opera gloves. She also swapped out her simple gold crown for a more elaborate looking queenly tiara.

"Do you think Luigi will be happy to see us after all this time?" Peach giggled as she looked herself over. "We've become such different people since we got married."

"Whatever his deal is, I know he loves his brother." Mario smirked smugly. "He'll be bendin' over backwards to greet us at the door."

"Oh Mario, don't let your new status go to your head..." Peach gave Mario the side-eye. "After all, it's a down-to-earth plumber that I fell in love with, not some...how would you put it..." Peach gave Mario a devious smirk. "Jackass in a fancy suit."

Mario stopped and did a double-take as his new wife strolled ahead of him.

"Hehe, aren't you coming Mario?" Peach gave Mario a sly look over her shoulder.

"R-right away honey..." Mario slunk along behind her, embarrassed without really knowing why.

Before too long they arrived at the Mario household on the edge of the forest. To their surprise, it looked as if the house hadn't been cared for. Weeds grew wild and the mailbox was stuffed to the brim.

"Oh my, he seems to have let the place go..." Peach looked around, slightly off-put. "Maybe he's been away?"

"Eeh, I doubt it. The only one that calls him away is E. Gadd and that's rare." Mario stepped up to the door and fumbled for his old house keys. "Other than that he only goes out to fight Bowser with me." Finally, Mario found the right key and began unlocking the door. "And we haven't heard from that palooka for months now..."

The door swung open and immediately they were hit with a foul stench.

"Oh my goodness!" Peach covered her mouth, mostly out of shock. "What on earth is that odor?"

"Aah man, he must have forgotten the garbage again." Mario strutted into the house, looking around for his brother. "Hey Luigi, you here?" Mario ambled through the living room, trying to find where the smell came from. "Wha'd ya do, bake a few skunks?"

"Hmmm..." Peach quietly observed the state of the house. There was a coating of dust on everything, as if it hadn't been touched. "It's like he hasn't been home in a while..." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a something off looking in the direction of Mario and Luigi's room. "What on earth..." Steeling herself, Peach used her magic to manifest a golf club. "Hmph..." Wielding the sports equipment with the grace and skill of a rapier, she marched down the hallway and peered inside the room.

Mario finally found what the smell was coming from in the kitchen. Rotten eggs, spoiled milk, and what he could only assume were once a package of bacon and a pile of mushroom sat on the counter, gathering flies. "Jeeez Louise, I haven't smelt something this bad since that septic tank job back in Brooklyn." Mario looked around for the trash, which was half full and in an equally ignored state. "Looks like he was in the middle of makin' omelets..." Mario began dumping the stuff into the trash, taking note of the ingredients. "Huh, mushrooms and bacon 'eh? Aah, right. That's what I asked him to put in mine when-" Mario froze. The gears in his head grinded to a halt and a shot of fear struck through his heart. "When we were..." He looked at the date on the side of the carton of milk. It was expired by nearly three months... "But...It can't be..."

"MARIO!"

Mario jumped at Peach's voice. Something was definitely up and he had to get to the bottom of it. Quickly dashing to the living room, he met with Peach, who handed him an envelope.

"What the...What is..." Mario look the parchment over and instantly recognized the symbol on the wax seal, the symbol of the Koopa Empire! His stomach bottomed out and with shaking hands, he opened the envelope and read the letter inside.

"Mario, By the time you read this, I will have captured your beloved brother Luigi out from under you. While you're busy saving Peach, my minions kidnapped him from town. Your only option is to return to my kingdom to try and reclaim him...or else.
~Lord Bowser Koopa"

"He...He kidnapped my brother?" Mario went numb. Everything fell into place. "That's why he wasn't..."

"Mario, what are we going to do!?" Peach nudged her husband, worried. "It looks like Luigi's been gone for quite some time now! Who knows what's become of him?" Peach gained a determined look, ready for a fight. "We have to do something!"

"No Peach..." Mario motioned to still his wife's hand. "This...This is personal..." Mario crushed the letter in his hands and set it aflame with his fire power. "Go back to the castle and prepare just in case Bowser gets any funny ideas about attacking the kingdom." Mario dashed to the door. "I'll get him back! And if something happened to him, I swear to GOD I'll make that bastard BEG to rot in hell by the time I'm done with him!" With that, he dashed out the door, slamming it closed behind him.

"Mario..." Peach Looked around at the empty house and then nodded with determination. "I trust you'll be able to reach him Mario..."