A buzzing. It grew and grew until all you could hear was an unbearable high-pitched ringing in your ears, echoing all throughout your head. You let out a yell of pain, grasping your head tightly. It felt like it was on fire, you toppled out of bed and hastily opened up your desk drawer, hand feeling wildly around its bottom for your painkillers. After what seemed like an eternity, you felt the cool glass of your medicine bottle under your fingertips and immediately pulled it out. You looked at it, and your heart dropped. Completely empty.

Fuck, when did I do that?

You let out a groan. This meant you needed to go to the nurses to restock. You let out a small yelp as another wave of white searing pain surged through your head, hot tears brimming your eyes. You couldn't stand this. Your breathing was growing more and more labored as each second passed by.

You threw on an old dress and a loosely fitting cardigan and staggered over to the door. What usually was a leisurely five-minute walk seemed like hell, but eventually, you made it. You burst through the door, eyes scanning the room for the nurse. The smell of antiseptic filled your nose as you searched the small, tidy room.

Is she in the back room?

"Maria! Are you in here?!" you called out, leaning against the door for support.

You saw a small head of raven black hair pop out from the supply drawer, eyes wild, as per usual. She let out a gasp as she saw the mess in front of her, and hurried over to where you stood. She was a frail, petite woman, who looked like she was scared everywhere she went.

"Oh, dear! Cmon' now sweetie! Get yourself onto a bed." she said, as she placed herself under your shoulder for support, tugging you over to the bed. You collapsed onto the mattress, eyes squeezed tightly shut. The light was becoming unbearable. Maria placed a gentle hand on your cheek.

"Oh dear, you're heating up like crazy…" she muttered. She ran over to the supply closet and grabbed a towel and some more pain medicine. She ran over to the sink and soaked the towel in cool water. She wrung it out and placed it on your head. She tapped your shoulder. You opened your eyes. She pointed to her lips and you nodded, signaling you could read her.

"Have you taken any pain medicine yet?"

"Ran out."

"Okay, okay, do you think you could take a pill or should I get the liquid?"

You let out a groan as the throbbing in your head grew.

"P-pill- t-the pill is fine," you rasped out.

She nodded firmly and grabbed a cup of water.

"Sit up, dear."

She pulled you up and you leaned back against your elbow. You quickly chugged down the pills and collapsed back onto the bed. The ringing hadn't ceased. She tapped your shoulder again.

"Would you like some anesthesia?"

You stared at her blankly. It would probably help, right? You would fall asleep, and then the pain would go away, but...

"No."

"Okay"

You shut your eyes again tightly. You just needed to bear through it.

"I'm sorry dear, there's not much to do right now other than to wait it out until the medicine hits," she murmured, as she began putting all the supplies away.

You brought the blanket over your head, enveloping yourself in the darkness. It helped very slightly with the throbbing in your eyes, but the ringing still continued. Just power through it. You curled yourself up into a ball, and forced yourself into a restless slumber.

When you woke up, you felt much better. You still felt like shit, but it couldn't even compare to the initial pain. You let out a pained moan and rolled over to your side. Maria sat at her desk, perfectly poised, scribbling away at a notepad. She looked up to where you were sitting, and immediately shot up from her seat when she saw you were awake. She scurried over to the end of the bed, worry painted on her small face. She pointed to her lips, and you nodded.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better… thank you, Maria," you said, offering her a weak smile. "I think I can head back to my room now, I really just needed the pain medication," you said, pulling yourself up from the bed. Maria's eyes widened, and she ran over, putting her hand on your forehead. She clicked her tongue, and pushed you back down into the mattress with a raised brow.

"Certainly with not that fever. You should stay here! Just for the first day."

"Maria, I'm honestly fine. What am I doing here that I couldn't do in my room?" you pressed. "I also have a bed in my room."

"I want to keep tabs on your condition! When was the last time this happened? It's been at least a couple of months right?"

"...I think so."

"So isn't that strange? Just stay here. I'll let you leave once your temperature is down."

You opened your mouth for rebuttal but quickly closed it. What she was saying was completely reasonable, and you didn't want to cause her more grief. You let out a small chuckle.

"This certainly brings back memories," you murmured. "Me trying to get out of this bed, you keeping me in."

"I suppose it does."

"Can I at least get a book?"

"Of course, I'll send someone to go get it. What's its name?"

"The Gentleman's Nurs-"

You stopped halfway through. It wasn't in the library. You had given it to Farlan before the expedition. He was going to read it. Your chest began to feel tight. Maria cocked her head in confusion.

"The Gentleman's…?"

You blinked. "Uh, sorry, scratch that. Could you get me ' The Shallow End'? It should be in the poetry section."

She smiles. "Sounds good. I'll be back in a second."

"Thank you."

Maria shut the door behind her, leaving you alone in the room. Was the book still in his room then? Would you need to go over and grab it? They usually cleaned the rooms of those who've died the following week.

Those who have died.

You let out a heavy sigh and placed your head in your hands. As much as you wanted the book back, but going back to his room would be like reaffirming their deaths. Although, it shouldn't. You knew they were dead. It had been five days since the expedition. But nonetheless, it felt like going into that room and taking the book from the room would be the final nail in the coffin. You shut your eyes tightly. The ringing had dropped to more of a high-pitched buzzing in your ears. You brought your hands right next to your ear and clapped them with as much force as you could. Nothing. Your hearing wasn't back yet. You grimaced. You knew that more likely than not it would be back soon enough, but still, losing what little you had left of your hearing was frightening. Suddenly, Maria popped in through the door, giving you a little wave with the book.

"Hey there!" she chirped, "I've got your book!"

You grinned,"Thank you, Maria."

"No problem," she said, handing the book over, " And while I have you here, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions. "

"About?"

"Your condition?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, first off, How is your hearing? Better, worse?"

"The same as it's always been. I can't hear most things. I can sometimes catch loud noises, and if someone says something clearly directly into my ear, I can sometimes hear that too."

"Mhm, and how often, does-" she stopped to think, and motioned towards your hospital bed "-this happen?"

"Well, it's been a couple of months since the last time." you said, "And before that, it was happening more frequently, about every other month."

"Has the pain worsened or lessened?"

"It was the same all around. I think the reason it felt so difficult today was because of how long it'd been since I had to deal with it," you said through a weak chuckle. "It surprised me."

She hummed. "How have you been feeling physically?"

You shrugged. "Fine I suppose, a little weak, but I believe that's due to inactivity. Nothing out of the ordinary. I want to start exercising again."

She pursed her lips into a tight smile. "Okay, dear. I think that's all I have for now. Just don't overwork yourself if you decide to begin training again." she said. She walked over to your side, and placed her hand on your head again, frowning. "Still hot. Just get some more rest, okay?"

You gave her a firm nod. "Okay."

She returned a small nod, and headed back to her desk. You opened up your book to a random page and began reading. It was a poetry book, so it didn't really matter where you began. But you were more tired than you thought. You quickly nodded off, into a much more peaceful sleep.

You woke up to Hange sitting next to your bedside. Their hands were folded tightly on their lap, eyes downcast.

"Hey."

Their head whipped up to look at you, and they shot up from their seat, wide-eyed, slamming their hands against the railing as they leaned over to come closer to you.

"You're awa-"

"Be gentle with the patient, Hange!" Maria clucked from her desk.

"Ack! I know, I know, sorry." They called back, before turning to you, with a furrowed brow. "How are you feeling, are you okay? What happened?"

"It happens sometimes, my ear pain comes back sometimes. But I'm fine." You assured them."I suppose it's just a long-term effect of my accident."

"Why didn't you tell-"

Just then, Moblit walked in, holding a cup of tea. He gave you a smile when he saw that you were awake.

"I brought this for you," he said, raising up the cup. "Would you like it now, or should I set it down for a bit?"

"I'll take it now, thank you Moblit." you took the cup from his hands with a gracious smile, and turned back to Hange, while Moblit pulled a second stool up next to them. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you... I just really didn't think it was that important. I usually can power through it in my room by myself, but I ran out of medicine, and it was the first time it had happened in a while."

"You can tell us more things, y'know," Hange said softly. "We're your friends."

A surge of warmth rushed through your chest as the words left their mouth. It was the same feeling you'd gotten when you saw them the day of the expedition. A feeling that reminded you that you were loved by others. Tears began pooling in your eyes.

"Yeah, I know," you said through a shaky breath. "I'm sorry."

Hange smiled. "It's okay." They said, "Just don't be afraid to rely on us a bit more."

"We can handle it," Moblit added.

"Okay."

After you'd all gotten it all, you continued chatting with Hange and Moblit about trivial matters for about fifteen minutes. They told you how the last week of training had been especially difficult, which they guessed was due to the unusually large number of Scouts they lost during last week's expedition.

"Oh, by the way, Levi was looking for you this morning," Moblit said.

"Levi?" you raised your eyebrows. "What for?"

You hadn't seen Levi since the day they returned, which was to be expected. He probably needed some time by himself for mourning.

"I couldn't say," Moblit sighed, shoulders slumping slightly. "When I asked him he just stormed off."

"Oh." you said, chewing your lip, "...Well, I guess once I get out of here, I can ask what that's all about."

"What do you think it is?" Hange asked, leaning in closer to you, eyes brimming with curiosity.

"I honestly have no idea. The last time I spoke to him was the day you guys returned, and I haven't seen him at all since," you said. You took a long sip from your mug, finishing your tea.

"Thanks a ton, Moblit. This helped my head."

"Of course! I can take your cup back to the kitchen."

You nodded and handed your cup to him. You and Hange watched as he left the room, but just as he was about to exit your field of vision from the doorway, he stopped. You turned to Hange.

"Is he talking to someone?"

"I dunno," they said, leaning their stool back, trying to see more clearly through the doorway. Their eyes widened, and they turned back to you.

"It's Levi."

"What? Hange! Tell Moblit not to tell him I'm in here!" you urged. You didn't know why, but you didn't want him to see you like this. Hange whipped their head back to you.

"H-huh? Why not? And how the hell am I supposed to do that? His back is completely turned to me!"

"I don't know! Throw something at him?" you said. Hange gave you a look of disbelief at your idiotic request.

"Throw what?!" they hissed.

"I don't kno-!"

Moblit walked in with Levi standing at his side. Moblit shot you a quick apologetic look as he entered. The two of you clamped your mouths shut. You looked at Levi. His eyes widened slightly when he saw you in the bed. You gave him a small, awkward wave.

"Hello."

"...What happened?"

"O-oh nothing, I'm just a little sick."

"...Oh."

A stiff silence filled the room. Moblit cleared his throat.

"Well, I think it's about time me and Hange headed back to our barracks." Moblit piped, shooting Hange a pressing look. Hange cocked their head in confusion.

"Oh? What for?" They asked brightly.

"R-remember that…'' he struggled to find his words. It was very obvious he had no idea what he was saying either. "...Thing we have?"

"What thing?"

"You know, that thing that we need to do, right now."

"I don't." They responded, plainly.

Moblit smacked his head in frustration and tugged Hange up from the stool.

"Let's go."

"W-wait, I'll come with you, just give me a sec!" they exclaimed. Moblit let them go and nodded. Hange leaned over the bed and gave you a kiss on the cheek. Your face warmed. You were used to Hange kissing you, but in front of everyone, it was embarrassing.

"H-Hange!"

Your eyes darted over to Levi. He looked annoyed. You swallowed. Was he mad at you? Was that why he wanted to talk to you? Oh, how you wanted to hide under your blankets and never come out. Hange grinned.

"Okay, I'm good now. I don't know what Moblit is talking about, but I guess I'll go," they said through a dumb grin. Moblit rolled his eyes. "See ya later!" Hange and Moblit said in unison, as they left the Infirmary. You watched as they walked out, and then turned back to Levi, who stood awkwardly at the foot of your bed.

"Sorry about that." You said. You motioned towards the stools. "You can sit if you'd like." you offered. Levi nodded and seated himself.

"So...why are you here?"

"Oh… I suppose it's the long-term effects of my accident. Sometimes the ringing will return in my ears, I get migraines and fever."

"I see."

"Mhm."

Another silence.

"S-so, I heard you were looking for me?" You asked, clearing your throat, "What's up?"

"I have that book," he said, as he reached into the satchel he'd brought, and pulled out a familiar old, leatherbound book. The Gentleman's Nursery. He handed it to you, and you immediately began flipping through the old weathered pages, when you saw something you didn't recognize. A small tattered bookmark that wasn't yours. It had been left in the second chapter. You carefully pulled it out, observing it intently. It must've been Furlan's, you concluded. That meant he started reading it the day he got it because the expedition was the following day.

"Can I borrow that book?"

"Really? Do you think you'd be interested in this sort of thing?"

"Well, if you say it's good, that's gotta mean something, right? I admit it's not my style but..."

"But? I couldn't see what you said."

"Ah, sorry... Well, it'll give us something to talk about, s-so I'll read it."

A lump began rising in your throat, but you pushed it down. One breakdown was enough for the day. But Levi probably noticed the slight quiver in your lip, because he quickly averted his gaze from your face. After you gathered yourself, you gently shut the book and held it to your chest.

"Thank you for bringing it to me," you said softly.

"Did you give it to him?" he asked.

"He said he wanted to borrow it so that we would have something to talk about," you responded. You took in a shaky breath. "It's nice to see he really read it."

"Of course he did," he said quietly. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm fine, thankfully you caught me after the worst of it has passed. Aside from my head, I'm not feeling too shabby, the nurse just insists I stay here until my temperature goes down."

"I see."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm getting by."

"I'm really glad to hear that."

Another stiff silence settled in the room, and you wondered how you'd been able to talk to him so easily before. You searched desperately for something to say.

"Maybe once I get out of here we can have some tea again."

"Maybe."

God, please give me something to work with.

"S-so, Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?" you asked, fiddling with your fingers."

"Yes."

You raised your eyebrows. You hadn't been expecting that.

"What's up?"

He didn't say anything, and you saw an expression on his face that you hadn't seen in a while. A nervous one. He seemed to had gone stiff, staring intently down at his hand as if his life depended on it. Finally, he looked up to you.

"Would you want to continue our lessons?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, You'd honestly forgotten about the lessons, the last couple of weeks had been so hectic that it was easy too.

Those lessons would probably be a good way for both of us to get out of our heads...

You smiled. "O-of course! Just let me know whenever."

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as Maria burst through the storage room door, and to the foot of your bed. You and Levi turned to her.

"Hey dear! I finally found that syrup I was loo-" her eyes fell to Levi, and then back to you. She shrunk a bit.

"Should I come back another time…?"

You shook your head. "No, it's fine Maria, this is Levi," you said, motioning to where he sat. He gave her a stiff nod. "He joined the Scouts a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh, I see, it's nice to meet you!" she said, giving him a little wave, before quickly turning back to you. "But like I was saying dear, I found this old syrup that Nurse Lana left before she retired," she said, holding up a small glass bottle that contained a golden, spotty liquid. You shot her a questioning look.

"Oh… so what is it?"

"Well, she made it for migraines, so apparently it's a whole bunch of different herbs mixed in with honey." she said.

"What's in it?" you inquired.

"Uh..." she brought the bottle closer to her face, squinting at the label "Feverfew, Butterbur. Peppermint, Ginger, Valerian. Coriander seed…" she shrugged. Just about everything that's supposed to help with migraines."

She pulled out the cork of the tiny bottle with a small pop, and carefully poured the oozing liquid into a large spoon, walking over to you as she did. She lowered herself and held the spoon to your mouth.

"Say 'ah'." she cooed.

You grimaced. "Do I really need this? I really don't feel that bad."

"Lana swears by this remedy dear, just open up."

"But-"

Levi tapped on your shoulder,

"Stop being a baby and take it," he said dully.

Your face exploded with heat, and you shot him a spiteful look, before turning back to Maria in defeat.

"I can take it myself," you muttered, grabbing the spoon from Maria's hand, quickly shoving it into your mouth and swallowing the mixture. It was horribly bitter and sweet at the same time.

Maria gave you a satisfied smile."Good girl." she said, as she took the spoon back from you, and hurried back to the supply closet. You whipped your head back to Levi.

"Was it fun embarrassing me?" you sulked, shooting him a bitter glare.

"Not really," he said lazily. "Actually-"

Mid-sentence, he stopped, and stared at your face. You had never been self-conscious of your appearance, but at that moment, all you wanted to do was hide it under the blankets. Him observing you so closely felt embarrassing. He leaned in closer to your face, gaze unwavering. You felt your breath hitch.

"You have some syrup on your face," he said, plainly.

Oh.

Your hand immediately flew to your face.

"Oh, what?" your face began to heat up, as you wiped aimlessly at your mouth. You looked back at him.

"Uh, did I get it?"

"Come here."

"...What?"

He gently grabbed your chin, wiping it away with his thumb. Your heartbeat rose from your chest to your ears.

"Thank you," you said, as you began shying away from his hand.

He pulled his hand back and nodded. He sighed, pulling himself up from the chair.

"Let me know when you get out of here."

You nodded.

With that, he walked out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. It was only once he was completely out of your sight that you felt you could breathe again. But the heat in your cheeks was unfaltering. You groaned.

Ugh, get it together.

You plopped back into your pillow. Somehow that situation had felt familiar. But you couldn't pin exactly where you were getting that idea from. You squeezed your eyes tightly.

Then you remembered what you had so desperately tried to forget.

"He pressed his lips against yours. Your chest felt like it was going to burst. The feeling made you want to run away and hide, but at the same time, you didn't want anything to interrupt the moment. Your lips parted slightly, and Levi's followed suit. They were soft. You felt his tongue creeping into your mouth…"

You shoved your face into your pillow. How old were you, dreaming about that sort of thing?

I shouldn't have thought so hard about it.