"...How was that?"
"...Try again please."
Nurse Maria leaned forward, and clapped directly into your ear, observing your expression intently as she did. You stared mindlessly at the space in front of you, carefully evaluating what you had heard. It was difficult to accurately gauge, but...
"...I think it's about back to what it was," you said softly. Maria immediately brightened at your statement.
"And your temperature is down, too!" She chirped, pulling herself back up into perfect posture. She gives you a tight-lipped smile.
"That's all I need from you, dear, feel free to head back to your room!"
You let out a heavy sigh of relief. You had been here for the past two days. It wasn't bad, pretty peaceful, aside from the occasional poking and prodding from Maria every now and then. But no matter what, you always felt uncomfortable when someone else took care of you. It made you feel like a child. You gave her a large smile as you whipped the white bedsheets from your legs, and slid yourself off the bed. You pulled the sheet back into its original place and turned back to see Maria holding your neatly folded clothes out to you.
"You can go ahead and change in the bathroom," she said. " There should be a laundry basket in there, you can just toss your hospital gown in there."
You gave her a gracious nod and went into the bathroom. After you'd gotten changed, you walked up to Maria, who had sat herself back at her desk.
You pulled on your cardigan. "...I really can't thank you enough for taking care of me-" you began. She gave you a short look of surprise before shooting up from her desk and grasping your hands tightly. You jumped back.
"Oh, hush! It's my job!" she exclaimed with earnest. "Don't be afraid to come to me for help when you're feeling under the weather!"
Her hands were cold, you noticed. Their cool touch felt pleasant against your skin. You gave her a wide grin.
"For sure."
You shared a quick hug and bid her farewell, and soon enough, you were walking back to your room. You gazed out into the tall corridor windows. There were plenty of clouds in the sky, but the sun made its way through, it's bright light illuminated the otherwise dull hallway, causing you to squint as you looked out. It's a lovely day today. you decided. Maybe you'd go out into the town and do some shopping. Spoil yourself a bit in celebration of your recovery, As you walked, you silently prayed that no one would pass you in the halls. You didn't know how you looked right now, but it probably wasn't pretty, considering you had quite literally just rolled out of bed a mere five minutes ago. You wanted to get to your room and hide away from prying eyes as soon as possible.
I wonder what Levi's doing…
...
You gave yourself a tight pinch on your cheek, leaving a slight stinging pain.
After Levi had left you on your own the other day, it hadn't taken you long to reach a certain conclusion. You had feelings for him. You'd spent the rest of the day trying to reason yourself out of that answer, but after a while, it became impossible to continue denying the undeniable.
But you didn't know how much you liked him. When you first realized this, your obliviousness scared you, but it soon became a comfort. The less you know about something, the easier it is to ignore it.
Crushes come and go, so this shouldn't be any different, you thought, giving yourself a pursed smile.
As you reached your room you immediately headed to your bathroom. All the sweating you'd done these past couple of days had left you feeling pretty gross. You quickly got undressed and popped yourself into the cool water. You began scrubbing your scalp as you thought about the day ahead of you. As much as you'd love to prance out into the town and revel in the success of your recovery, it would probably be in your best interest to at least drop by Erwin's office and see if he had any work for you to do. Usually, he stopped by at least once a week to give you a list of weekly tasks, but after expeditions… especially unsuccessful ones, he was quite busy. So the thought that he had perhaps forgotten in the frenzy of work hadn't passed you. You let out a tired groan as you stepped out of the shower, and wrapped yourself up in a towel. You didn't want to go searching out for extra work to do, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
You pat your body down and quickly get dressed. You grabbed your make-up box from your desk and situated yourself in front of your slightly foggy mirror. The color seemed to have returned to your cheeks. Before you began putting it on, you tied your hair up into a ponytail. When you were a teenager, you were more insecure, so for the most part, you'd kept your hair as close to your face as possible. You got over it soon after you joined the military, where there was no time to fret over your appearance. But still today, sometimes when you pulled all your hair up, you felt so exposed. So bare.
You pushed those thoughts aside and began with your makeup, rubbing some of the creamy lip tint on your cheeks and lips. You carefully stroked upwards on your eyelashes with the mascara brush, being careful to avoid contact with your skin. It tickled a bit.
You came out of the bathroom and looked down at the floor. It was definitely messy, but since you had cleaned somewhat recently, the mess didn't even come close to what it had been before.
You hopped over some clothes and headed for the door. Within the half-hour it had taken you to shower and get dressed, the clouds had shifted. The sky quickly fogged up, leaving it a dull grey color. It looked like it might rain. How disappointing. Hopefully, it clears up later today so I can still go out.
As you walked, you looked down at your shoes. They were penny loafers. The soles were made from wood, but if you remembered correctly, the bottoms were rubber. I wonder what noise I make while I walk. Ker thunk? No, the shoes aren't that heavy...Babump? No, I don't think they're that soft… Before you could reach a satisfying conclusion, you had arrived at Erwin's office. You took in a short exhale of breath and gave the wide wooden door three sharp taps. You clasped your hands together in front of you letting them swing slightly as you awaited a response. The door slowly opened, revealing Erwin's towering figure. You offered him a polite smile.
"Good morning Erwin," you said with a small salute. "I just dropped by to see if you had any work for me to go through this week… I know you've been busy-" He stared at you blankly for a moment, before you saw his eyes brighten, and he pushed the door completely open. He gestured for you to come in.
"Thank you for dropping by... I wasn't going to reach out, but now that you've come, you've reminded me that you're just the person I need, please, come in," he says, holding the door open to you. You raised your brow in surprise before moving through the door and seating yourself.
"Thank you, sir," you said, adjusting your skirt around your legs. "But what's going on?" you asked.
Erwin seated himself back into his seat with a heavy sigh. He looked quite tired, unsurprisingly. His usually well-kept hair appeared more shaggy, and the bags under his eyes more harrowing. Poor man.
"I recently received a letter from the King."
"How unusual, what is it about?"
King Fritz and his advisors hardly cared to show any interest in the activities of the Scouts. If they did, they usually in disdain, chastising Erwin and Shadis after unsuccessful expeditions, prattling on about "wasted taxes". From what you'd heard, every visit to the castle ended up in a torrent of backhanded remarks thrown at them.
"They want us to hold an event in our ballroom."
You tilted your head. "What for?"
He let out a heavy sigh. "The letter said something along the lines of... wanting to know more about the ongoings of the Scout Regiment."
"W-well, couldn't they just call you guys to the castle and have a meeting… isn't that how it usually happens?"
"They have stated that they want a tour of the castle, and they would want every member of the Scout Regiment present… " he said, trailing off. He cleared his throat.
"Or perhaps they simply enjoy making matters especially difficult for us," he said through a small smile.
"... It almost seems as if they want to find something," you murmured.
Erwin nodded. "You're quick to catch on. The king's advisors have always distrusted the Scouts… I'd think of it as an evaluation."
"That makes sense… So where do I come in? Would you like me to help with planning the ball?
"Someone from the King's circle will come down here to help with the technicalities of the event, so you don't need to worry about that," he said with a shake of his head. "I need you to inform everyone of the event... Send out invitations to everyone who needs to be there. Tell Shadis so that he can pass on the information to the Scouts-" he paused and reached into a folder in his desk, and held out a small piece of paper from it.
"I've written down all the important information regarding the event on that, make sure every invitation includes all of it."
"Yes sir,"
He nods and gives you a gentle smile. "Thank you for dropping by, it might've otherwise slipped my mind to ask you for help."
"Of course! I'll get started right away!" you said, taking the paper from him. "Is there anything else you need from me today?"
"That's it. You may be excused. Thank you for your help."
"Of course," you repeated, raising yourself from your chair. You gave him a small bow and left his office, closing the door gently. Thankfully, this job was fairly easy. At most, it would take a couple of hours to copy down all the invitations, and then tell Shadis… you pulled out your watch from your pocket. 9:47. It was still quite early, if you wrapped this up quickly, you could still go out as you had originally planned. Alright. With your newfound determination to work, you strode over to the library, brimming with energy.
Dear Councilman Hugh,
It would be an honor for you to join us on the evening of the Sunday two weeks from now. Please arrive an hour before the event begins at seven if you care to join Commander Shadis in a tour of the Scout Headquarters. You may bring a guest if you care to. Food, refreshments, and entertainment will all be provided at the venue. The event will end at eleven. We hope to see you there.
Thank you,
Head of the Scout Library.
You dropped your pen from your grip, immediately slumping into your desk, head against your forearms. Your hand felt sore. There hadn't been that many letters to write, but writing in proper cursive was difficult, your usual handwriting was a sloppy mix of cursive and print… although it was nowhere near as illegible as Hange's. You rubbed your temples and glanced at the small clock on your desk, perched atop a pile of loose papers and folders. 11:37. It had taken just as long as you'd expected, but now, all the energy you'd had been spent within the short amount of time you'd been working . Do I even want to go out anymore? Either way, you had to take the letters to get delivered, so you couldn't just pass out on your desk, as much as you wanted to. With a small grunt, you pushed back against the desk and pulled yourself up. You shimmied the letters into a neat pile and placed them in a small satchel you kept in your desk.
You made your way outside the castle, walking past the training field, which was filled with scouts finishing up their morning workouts. Shadis's office stood just outside of the gates that closed the training fields off. Haven't been here in a while.
You knocked sharply on the door, as you gave him your name.
"Let me know if you're busy right now, sir."
The door was abruptly pushed open to reveal the commander's slender statue, as he stared at you with those jarring eyes. Shadis's eyes were a bit strange to you. The brightness of their color was contrasted by the… hollowness them. You swallowed. Although he was no longer your superior, the fear he'd instilled into you was still alive somewhere deep inside of you. You gave him a small smile.
"Good morning Commander, Erwin has instructed me to deliver this letter to you," you told him, as you flicked through your bag, searching for his letter. "He would like you to share its information with the Scouts. Please make sure everyone hears this."
Shadis raised a single brow. "Any idea as to what it entails?" he asked dully.
"Actually, yes," you said, through a nervous, breathy laugh. "Apparently, our great king has requested that we host a ball for him to attend, as well as his circle of advisors. He wants all the Scouts to be present."
Shadis's eyes widened. It felt like the first time you were seeing a look of genuine surprise fall on his face, as subtle as the change was.
"How unusual. Do you know why he might do this?"
You shrugged, feigning ignorance. You didn't really want to talk to him for longer than you wanted to.
"Sorry, I'm afraid I'm as lost as you are on the matter."
"...Alright, then. Thank you."
You nodded. "I'll be off then, sir."
You gave him a small bow and walked out of his office. Now, all that's left to take these letters to be delivered, and then I'm free. You thought, with a giddy smile falling on your face. Maybe I'll buy some sweetbread if they have any left... You looked back up at the sky. The sun was peeking through the clouds.
Perfect.
"2.30."
You cocked a brow at Thom. That was nearly double the usual price.
"I only ordered one."
He gave you a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry. The cart that delivers our supplies got ransacked by thieves… " he runs a hand through his shaggy hair with a heavy sigh. "It set us back quite a bit. The prices are going to be a bit higher for a while. "
"Ah, I see… I'm sorry to hear that..." you said, as you searched around in your change purse for more change. You drew your hand from your bag, frowning. Only a half-piece coin. Not quite enough to cover the costs of your bread. This is a bit embarrassing. A small heat crept onto your face as you sheepishly slid your change purse back into your pocket.
"Go ahead and just cancel my order then," you said, clearing your throat.
He gives you a small smile."It's fine this one time, I think you're our biggest customer for this strawberry bread. " he said through a chuckle. You felt your face get even warmer.
"Thank you," you said, taking the bag from him.
"No problem! And hey…would you maybe want to hang out sometime? "
"Hang out?"
"You know… On a date."
Your eyes widened. You wouldn't have seen this coming from a mile away. You had known Thom for about a year now, but the relationship had never even gotten close to anything past an acquaintance. The conversations were never about anything other than the transaction of bread… How did attraction blossom from that? For the first time in a long while, you raised your gaze from his lips, taking in his whole face. He wasn't unattractive. You remembered when he'd first started working there, and the sudden increase of young women visiting the small bakery that had followed.
"I-I'll think about it."
'I'll think about it?' What does that mean?
He gave you a wide grin "Just let me know the next time you drop by." he said, giving you a small wave as you exited the door.
You let out a small sigh and took a large bite of the bread. Your initial plan was to save it for when you got back to the castle, but in times of deep thought, you needed to eat. You plopped yourself down at the nearest bench and began munching away. He was polite enough, attractive enough, so where were these mental barriers that stopped you from even considering it coming from? Was it Levi?
You'd established that you were attracted to him, but what were you going to do about it? Pursue a relationship? As much as you didn't like to admit it, you felt like you knew very little about him. And in general, trying to chase after anything past a platonic relationship felt impossible. Should you be brushing off other relationship opportunities for him? Relationship opportunities that actually seemed tangible?
You popped the last bite of bread into your mouth, chewing it slowly.
People are hard to deal with.
"It's 10 in the evening. Is it a good idea to go out this late?" you asked worriedly. "You shouldn't even be here, Are you sure you don't want to wait for a day when you're actually free?"
"Nonsense! Our bar date has been pushed back far enough, right Moblit?" Hange said, whipping their heads back to Moblit for confirmation.
Moblit blinked. "Huh? Oh- yeah for sure." he sputtered, clearly he had just been pulled out from his own world at the sharp sound of Hange's voice. You could tell he was more nervous than he was letting on.
"See? Even he agrees! Now get up and let's get moving!" they exclaimed, slapping their hand on your back. You let out a small yelp, and shot them with a stink eye.
"Fine fine, you don't have to hit me so hard," you said, annoyance dripping from your voice. You pushed yourself away from your desk and began heading for the door.
"I would like to grab my coat before we leave, and you-" you spun around and pointed a finger at Hange. "You need to be quiet. We won't get caught as long as you keep quiet."
They ran their fingers quickly across their lips, locking them shut with an imaginary key. They shove the imaginary key into their pocket and give you a thumbs up, a goofy grin covering their face.
You rolled your eyes and pushed the door open, holding it open for the two of them to pass through. The three of you silently passed through the dark halls, making sure to shut every door you come across as gently as possible. Once you grabbed your coat, the three of you headed to exit the castle.
As you push open the final door, a rush of cold air hits your face, sending a small shiver down your spine as you take in a shuddering breath. Hange rubbed their hands against their arms.
"So, where do we want to go? Corey's?" they asked.
You chewed your lip pensively. If you remembered correctly, that was where you'd had your little… incident with the barmaid. Hell no.
"Uh, I don't know… it gets pretty crowded there sometimes, and I don't feel like dealing with a crowd… isn't there one near the bakery? Why don't we go there?" you offered.
"Oh, yeah," Moblit chimed in, "I like that one better, too. The food is better there."
You released the breath you'd been holding. Thanks, Moblit.
"Who goes to a bar for the food?" Hange whined.
"I'm just saying..."
"...well, okay, we won't go to Corey's, then."
You continued walking past the training field. The three of you made it to the end gate, when you saw a figure walking out of the gate to the barracks. You felt a pit open in your stomach. No one should be out at this hour. Unless it was a higher-up. A higher-up that could very easily get them in trouble for being up past curfew. You whipped your head over to Hange who was also staring, dread falling onto their face.
"What the hell do we do now?" you hissed.
"I-I don't know-"
"W-wait! Shut up you two! You're both blind as bats. I think- " Moblit leans forward slightly, squinting. "It looks like Levi."
"...Oh"
You threw your hands up in the air, motioning for him to come towards you. He stopped walking, and changed his direction to reach where you guys stood. It really was him. I wonder if my make-up is smudged at all...
"What are you doing out so late?" you asked, cocking your head in curiosity...
He shrugged. "I could ask you the same."
"... I suppose."
Hange jumped in front of you. "Hey, Levi! We're going out for some drinks, would you like to join?"
Levi said nothing, silently observing you all for a moment. He didn't strike you as the type to enjoy bars. You didn't remember much about the time he'd helped you back to your room, but anyone with common sense in your situation would have gathered that he was annoyed by drunkards. He was also a germaphobe. He'd probably say no.
"Sure."
...Sure?
"Great! Let's get goi-"
"Hange! Lower your voice! We're not that far from Shadis's office, you know!" Moblit hissed.
"Ah! Right, sorry!" they said in a hushed voice."Let's go!"
The walk to the pub was quite short. Levi didn't talk much on the way there, which left you wondering why'd he'd even bothered to come. He simply trailed silently at your side as you prattled away with Hange and Moblit. Any attempt to include him in the conversation was quickly shut down by his dull, one-word responses.
The small pubs' gas lamps filled the entrance with a hazy orange glow. Hange ran over to the door, opening it with exaggerated grandeur, lowering themselves into a deep bow.
"Please, come in." they said, pointedly.
You let out a small laugh as you walked through. Just as you'd expected, there weren't many patrons present. In the corner of the room sat two old men playing blackjack, and other than that, only one other person was sitting at the barstools. You glanced back at Levi, searching for any impression. As usual, he had that unreadable look on his face. Hange plopped themselves right in front of where the bartender cleaned his mugs. He gave them a warm smile.
"What'll it be for you guys tonight?"
Hange whipped their head to the right, looking down at all of you.
"Is ale fine with all of you?"
"Yeah, sounds good."
"Four ales, please!"
The bartender nodded and turned back to prepare the drinks. As Hange and Moblit began to talk about things you couldn't relate to, like training, you took the opportunity to try to talk to Levi a bit more, despite your fruitless efforts earlier.
"So what were you doing out?"
"Just wanted to get some air."
"I see. Is there a reason you decided to join us?"
"Can't a man enjoy a night out with his near and dear comrades?" he said dully. You couldn't help but let out a small snort. How could he say something so obviously sarcastic with such a serious voice?
"I don't like to admit this, but you're quite funny, Levi," you said through a small chuckle, bringing your hand to your face. After you'd stopped laughing. You turned back to face him, and to your surprise, his eyes were locked on your face. Normally, in this situation, you would avert your gaze immediately. As much as you wanted to, you decided not to. You decided to look back at him, and take in his entire expression. The room was pretty dimly lit, but you could swear you saw a pale red tint on his face. Is he cold, or… You cleared your throat.
"Is something the matter?" you said, voice breaking slightly.
He opened his mouth, to speak, but whatever he was going to say got interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You didn't turn around, determined to see what he was going to say, eyes locked on his lips. But when Levi saw that someone else was trying to capture your attention, he quickly shut his mouth, and nodded behind you. Darn. You turned back to see Hange already saying something. You didn't catch all of it, but you saw them mouth "announcement"
"Are you asking me about the announcement Shadis made today?" You asked, cocking a brow. "You need to make sure I can see you before you start trying to tell me something, dummy."
"Ah, yes, sorry! But yes! I was asking about the announcement, isn't it strange? The King hardly ever wants anything to do with us."
The bartender sets your drinks in front of you and begins passing them down." Your drinks."
"Thank you- and yes, it is quite odd. I discussed it with Erwin earlier this morning." you paused to take a sip of your ale.
"-Apparently, before the event they also want to have a look around the castle, so I can only assume the whole point of this affair is to check up on our activities."
"... How strange."
"Yeah."
"Is it required that everyone go?" Levi asked.
"As far as I'm aware, yes."
"I see."
"Well, at the very least, it gives us an evening off." Moblit shrugged, before taking a swig from his glass.
Hange shot him a look of disbelief. " 'At the very least'? Come on! Aren't you excited? I heard there's going to be live entertainment, and really good food-" Hange pipes, turning back to look at you. "Isn't that right?"
"Mhm," you hum, "Only the best for the king's presence."
"So yeah, aren't you excited?"
"I am," you smile, "I haven't danced in a bit, and while it sounds like fun, I wonder what I'll be able to do when I can't even hear the music properly," you murmured. You looked up to see Mobllit looking at you, with a bit of concern in his eyes. The others didn't say anything either. You feel your chest getting tight.
Oh no, have I made things tense?
You force a small smile on your expression, "B-but you know, it's not th-"
"Don't worry, my love! I'll lead!" Hange interrupted, leaping from their seat. They grabbed your hands excitedly, bouncing them up and down to the imaginary beat of a song. "So you just follow my movements, and don't worry your pretty little head about it."
You let out the breath you'd been holding, and let out a sharp laugh. You shouldn't have worried.
"For sure!"
"Glad that's settled!" they said, "But I need to use the restroom, I'll be right back!"
"Wait, Hange," Moblit put down his drink, and got up from his barstool. " The outhouse is outside, right? I'll come with you, just in case."
"Hm, I doubt it'll be necessary, but whatever." they gave you a small smile. "We'll be right back."
"Okay." you turn back to Levi, who was wiping down the counter, before gently placing his elbow on the wood.
"Do you mind them getting all over you like that?" he asked, suddenly.
"What do you mean?"
"Grabbing you, hugging you, kissing you, you're okay with all that?"
You stop to think about how to answer. "...I guess I never really thought about it deeply..." you replied, "I suppose it's just how Hange expresses their liking to me, so I appreciate it."
"I see."
He didn't say anything after that, and you observed him silently. You felt like he'd asked you something similar a while back. Why did he care? Did the question simply come from the perspective of someone who wasn't fond of physical affection, or was it something else?
Is he jealous?
The idea of him being jealous of Hange seemed impossible, but rather than run mental circles about it in your head, you decided to test the waters a bit. Otherwise, you'd be thinking about it for hours when you got back to your room.
"I went to the bakery earlier today."
"All that sweet-bread can't be good for your health." he drawled.
You scowled at him. "Shut up- anyways, I went there earlier today, and the cashier invited me out on a date."
...
"Why are you telling me this?"
You shrugged, "Just trying to make conversation. I told him that I'd think about it, he's nice enough, but I don't know if I should. I don't know him that well."
"You should go."
You felt your heart drop. But you kept your composure. You cleared your throat. "Why do you think that?" you said quietly.
"You're an airhead who holes themselves up in a library all day like a hermit, who's addicted to sweetbread," he said, swirling his finger slowly around the rim of his glass. "I doubt an opportunity like this will come by again for you."
"Prick."
"Just being honest."
"Whatever," you said, rolling your eyes.
As much as you wanted to brush it off as him just being a jerk, it was difficult. His response was exactly the opposite of what you had been hoping to hear. You hadn't even realized you'd been hoping for something else until that moment. It was naive of me to hope for a certain response. You took a large swig of your ale, cleaning the glass.
I guess that settles that.
"Another ale, please!" you called.
The bartender nodded, "Of course."
Levi frowned at you."Do you want to slow down?" he asked, "You're going to get shit-faced like last time."
"Whatever." you mutter.
"Ah, look at the two of them." Hange clucked, clicking their tongue. "They're completely wasted. I expected this from Moblit, to be honest, but I thought she would at least try to hold back."
Levi didn't say anything. Do they not know about the last time she drank…?
"Well, whatever," they leaned down and shook Moblit's shoulders back and forth. "Hey! Get up, big guy, it's time to get back to the barracks."
Moblit let out a low groan, "O-okay, help me up."
"Can you walk?" Hange asked.
Moblit stumbled a bit taking the first step, but he quickly regained his composure."Yeah, I'm good." he mumbled, rubbing his head.
"Great!" Hange said, as they began walking over to where she sat, snoring softly. They leaned over her to begin picking her up. Levi's eyes widened.
"Aren't you going to wake her up?" he asked.
"Ah, I would, but look at her little sleeping face, cute right? I think I'll just carry her back. I don't want to wake her up."
Levi swallowed. "I can take her."
"Oh no, it's fine, I got-"
"I'll take her."
Hange stopped and stared at Levi. It wasn't long before a mischievous, knowing smile crept onto their face. Levi felt his face warming, but he kept his gaze unwavering.
"Okay, whatever you say, Mr. Levi~," they said, taking a step back from where you sat. "She's all yours." They cooed.
"Shut up."
He walked over and picked her up. Her eyes flickered a bit at the sudden movement. They opened very slightly, gazing back up at him.
"...Levi?"
Levi felt his breath hitch. "Go back to sleep," he muttered.
"Hm… okay," she murmured, shutting her eyes again.
Levi studied her face, she looked peaceful.
She must've been tired.
