It worked. I KNEW IT WOULD WORK.

I KNEW I wasn't a sham

She's alive.


13 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Title: Antimatter And Matter Generating Cells In Lifesaving Operations And Cellular Replacement Procedures

Purpose: To reattempt the previous Antimatter experiment while both improving the efficiency of the subject's power development and preventing the same catastrophic events. I'LL SHOW HER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISRESPECT ME.

Materials And Methods: Antimatter and Matter generating cells injected via the bloodstream once a day.

Procedures: Subject to change as the experiment continues.

13 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

First injection since consciousness has been administered. Subject not willing to participate. She is to stay on the operating table at all times.

DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH HER. She is just as crafty and manipulative as her predecessor.

Body has not shown a noticeable reaction to the initial dose. She seemed to thrash some upon administration, but it remains unclear if this is due to a chemical reaction or simple fear/her residual wound. Will be observed further.

14 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Subject's body twitches, even when asleep. Most noticeable in the fingers and around her wound. Site of injury seems discolored, although it is unclear whether this is actual mutation or something that will fade with time.

Subject attempted to talk to me and even claimed she'd participate in the experiment willingly from here on out, but I did not humor her. Dosage was administered as usual.

She displayed the same jerky motions. They appear uncontrollable. She began to bash the back of her head on the operating table as she called out for me.

...Needless to say, I didn't answer.

14 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

IV has been administered for eating and hydration. Reaction to Antimatter dosage has remained the same. Consider it stagnant until further notice.

20 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Subject has stopped attempting to reason with me. She's quiet, mostly, when I enter the test chamber.

23 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Subject made futile attempts to escape: Both in fighting her restraints and attempting to make contact with construction workers down the hall. I put a stop to both behaviors quickly.

25 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Skin around the wound remains discolored. Grey in saturation. Twitches at all times. Veins have taken on a slight reddish tint.

Showing slight mutations much faster than her predecessor ever did. A result of her emotional instability, or a simple side effect of the matter generating cells? It's yet to be seen.

28 March 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

Development of Anti-sensei material successful. Subject's hand exploded upon contact. This will be most useful for apprehending the octopus.

Not only that, but it is a surefire sign the subject is absorbing the Antimatter properly. Things are going well.

3 April 2014

Kotaro Yanagisawa

SUBJECT DEVELOPED A TENTACLE. Things are months ahead of schedule.

Subject appears to have no control over the appendage. It, too, is sensitive to Anti-sensei material… although it can also be cut with basic instruments at the moment. Pain was described when the incision was made.

Tentacle was left unrestrained for now. I'd like to see it develop further. Upon any sign of disobedience or particularly intense behavior, it will be restrained in the same manner as Reaper's... albeit with an outer shell of Anti-sensei material.

I am excited to see how this process continues.


Aguri is having trouble sleeping.

It's probably because it's pretty much all she can do… she's overslept too much, more or less, but she thinks there's an element of unease to it, too. Even when she closes her eyes and attempts to shut the world out she can feel her tentacle writhing… it's a constant, unwelcome reminder of the situation she's in, and even when she does manage to fall asleep Yanagisawa more often than not gives her a rude awakening.

He's watching her constantly now… taking notes and whispering under his breath. Aguri tries to take notes, too, as her limbs twitch and tiny bumps surface on her arm… if only to keep herself sharp.

The tentacle's healed by now. It took less than a day for it to return to it's previous length after Yanagisawa touched it with his 'Anti-sensei' material. She thinks it may be growing, but there's no telling for certain without a way of measuring it.

She wonders, perhaps, if it developed on her right arm due to that being the usual site of injection. Not only does the skin around the area appear slightly discolored, but it's dangerously close to where Yanagisawa was prodding her before… to the point where he's even had to move where he's sticking the needle.

Her hand is still looking bad. It hasn't healed like the tentacle did. It's hard to get a completely good look at it over the restraint,… but when she touches her palms with her fingers there's an indent… and her index finger feels short, plus cold to the touch.

She focuses on flexing it. She's not sure it'll help much… but at least it'll keep the blood flowing. And besides, she needs something to do.

When she's not taking notes on her body or failing to sleep she's attempting to get control of the tentacle. It might be confusing at best and frightening at worst, but it's still a part of her… and if she doesn't want to be consumed by whatever it is that's taking her over, she'll have to take control of it, first.

It comes surprisingly naturally to her. It still moves on its own sometimes, but when she really focuses on it she can manage to maneuver it. It's strange… staring up at the unwelcome limb and feeling it move as naturally as the muscles in her own two arms.

She doesn't get time to experiment with it long. Other, smaller tentacles start to blossom around it, and lower lip twitching, Yanagisawa decides to restrain her whole right arm.

The metal casing is cold to the touch and horribly claustrophobic. Aguri can feel the tentacle inside… pressed up against her arm. It writhes and contorts, just as uncomfortable as she is.

She watches her left arm continue to twitch.

She wonders how long it is before all of her body is in this state.

As always, she remembers The Reaper. He'd looked so helpless when Yanagisawa had constrained him in this same way. But at least he'd been allowed to stand sometimes. He'd been able to get up…! To talk to her-

She wonders if it's wrong to be jealous.

He probably suffered, too. He's probably suffering now. She wonders if he's still thinking about her or if he's already moved on.

Yanagisawa mentioned 'Anti-sensei material.' He wouldn't have called his strange invention that if Reaper wasn't teaching, would he? On one hand Aguri finds it hard to believe… that he'd say anything not just to mess with her, but then she remembers that it'd been just the two of them when she'd 'died.' Her and Reaper. Yanagisawa hadn't overheard what she'd asked of him.

'Become a teacher. Look out for those kids.'

That was between the two of them. That was theirs.

...He has to be. She won't believe anything else. He's out there… and he's happy, and he's teaching. If she couldn't believe at least that she'd lose her mind.

Another tentacle grows from her left shoulder. She presses it up to her face and pretends, just for a second, that they're still in that moment. He's cupping her cheek and he's telling her that she's going to be okay and he's telling her that he loves her.

...He's telling her she can make it through the year.

Yanagisawa watches her with disgust.

He doesn't wait for her to grow any more to restrain her left arm... simply encases it and gives her a smile. He says it's for his safety, but Aguri's got a feeling it's not just that. It's about human touch, too.

(Human touch. She can't even have that .)

They place the IVs beneath her restraints. Administer Antimatter to her through them, too, when need be.

Maybe a few days after her left arm is restrained others return to the lab. It's hard to get a good look at them; the glass is thick and she has to twist her neck sideways, but she's certain they're scientists. These aren't construction workers, no... these are people who feel just like she felt… people working under Yanagisawa. She tries to say hello to them as they scrawl notes, but she's mostly ignored.

"Hey. Are you new here? Hey?"

She doesn't recognize most of them… they're fresh faces. She supposes that means it's true, then: that Reaper really killed almost everybody, but she tries not to think about it for too long. Who… who cares if they were victims, too? Who… cares if they probably didn't wanna work here? Who… cares what their funerals were like?

(...Who cares what her own funeral was like, either?)

Eventually she sees a coworker she does recognize. It's not someone she knows well… but she's seen him around the lab. She calls out to him, ecstatic.

"Miyahara!" she cries, voice weak, yet joyous. "You're okay!"

He flinches, but doesn't look up. Instead, eyes glued firmly to his tablet, he taps away at the screen.

"You have no idea how worried I was about you. About everyone," Aguri continues, voice cracking. "Is… is anyone else alive?"

Miyahara still doesn't speak… simply stands there, lip twitching, as he motions to turn away.

"Wait!" Aguri cries. "...Wait. You don't need to help me." She pauses, voice wavering. "...I'm not going to ask for help. And so don't worry about that. I just want to talk." Suddenly she's blinking back tears. "Can we do that? Talk? I've been really lonely here."

"Listen," her old coworker says, almost too quiet to hear. "I'd love to indulge you, but do you really think I've got time for this?"

His gaze shoots up towards her.

"The boss is going to be pissed if I humor you. And yes, that means even talk to you. He gave us specific orders not to do that." He scratches at his shoulder. "I'm not keen on ending up in your situation next. And besides…" He pauses. "This is kind of your fault."

"I…-" Aguri's voice catches in her throat. "You mean…" Her eyes flit down towards the ground. "This- this? You think this is my fault?"

She can hardly even believe it.

"Yes, this-this. This everything," Miyahara replies, motioning around the room. "You're the one who told the subject we were going to kill him, yeah? That he was going to blow up?" His expression twists. "Why did you do that? If you'd just let us kill him we'd be in the clear."

"It was wrong," Aguri replies.

"And telling him about it wasn't? Half of our coworkers are dead, Yukimura."

Aguri falters. "I didn't think… I didn't think that he'd actually-"

"You knew he was a serial killer. We all knew he was a serial killer. But you prioritized his safety over ours. And so no, I'm not okay."

Miyahara reaches up to point at two spots on his body… one on his neck, and the other on his left shoulder.

"I was impaled here and here when he was performing his little escape," he says. "His tentacles ripped through my body. The first hit was millimeters from my spine and simultaneously paralyzing me for life. The other tore my arm from its socket. The wound went straight down to bone. I'm one of the lucky ones." He glares. "Do you even realize what you've done?"

"I… I…-" Aguri drifts off. "I didn't mean t...- I wasn't…- he was just so nice to me."

She doesn't even want to believe it. But she sees the scars on Miyahara's neck and knows he's telling the truth. He gives her a snide look.

"Good for you," he says, thoroughly unamused. "But he wasn't very nice to us. And so don't expect us to go showing compassion for you."

The images are flashing in her mind again… of Reaper slaughtering people. They're horrible screams- bright red blood and the smell of flesh and smoke. She remembers how scared she'd been- how she hadn't wanted any of this to happen. She'd known that wasn't really him… that he was just lashing out! But all the same, there had to have been some way she could have handled this better- some way she could prevent him from going down this dark path. What is it she should have tried.

Miyahara's turning away. He's turning away from her and any empathy for her and helping her get out of here or even keeping her company. He's going to go away forever… just like everyone else at this godforsaken lab!

"WAIT!" Aguri shrieks. "I know I messed up… I know I got all those people hurt... but please don't leave me alone." She struggles for breath, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I can't handle it. I've had no-one to talk to for so long. You don't have to forgive me… you don't even have to like me. Just… just acknowledge me. For a little bit. Please. You don't even have to talk to me! Just-!"

"I'm talking to you right now!" Miyahara snaps. "And I shouldn't be. No, I can't 'keep you company.' I'm sorry." His shoulders lower. "...I've got medical bills to pay and a family to care for. Whether I feel bad for you or not, I've got to keep my head down. We can't all live like you do." He grimaces. "Reckless… 'listening to my heart.' If it weren't for you I wouldn't have to worry about half of this stuff in the first place."

"Goodbye, Yukimura. From here on out I just intend to do my job."

Miyahara doesn't talk to Aguri any further. Though to his credit, Aguri hardly even tries.

She notices the rest of her remaining coworkers behaving much the same: staring at her with cold eyes, walking by with splints or canes.

They don't… they don't really think this is all her fault, do they? She made a few mistakes, sure…! But…-

She didn't kill those people, did she?

But even as she says so, her tentacles writhe beneath her restraints.

Aguri tries to appeal to another coworker… remind her that they were all mistreated under Yanagisawa: that any one of them could be next! But she hardly seems phased. In fact… she simply gives Aguri a curious look and asks "Are you kidding me?"

"The work environment is strangely peaceful now that you're gone. He's getting better. I won't deny that he was scary before, but… maybe you were the one ticking him off or. well, I don't know." she shrugs. "But he doesn't hit us around anymore. Not even a little. He seems strangely focused on something. Honed in, you know?"

That something is Aguri. It has to be. He's taking his anger out on her, even when he's not on anyone else. He's experimenting on her… sneering the whole time… rambling madly to her. Some days he even comes in just to hit her!

"They don't know what they're fucking doing!" he snarls one evening as he storms into the room and walks over just to slap her. "'Japanese government' my ass! If they had one-fourth of the power they claim to they'd have this under control by now. But instead they're cooperating with him? The monster!? How stupid do you have to be!?"

He doesn't wait for Aguri to respond. Instead, in a falsetto tone, he repeats "'Ooooh, we're working on a plan.' 'We'll have an assassination ready soon.' Like hell you will. You're not even trying! You don't even know what you're dealing with!"

He hunches over, bringing his face close to hers.

"But I do. Ooooooh... I do." He continues. "I've seen it's power firsthand. I know what it can do. And only I know how to defeat it." He pauses, breathing heavy. "I'm reverse-engineering it. I'm studying it. I'm…-" He drifts off. "Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I deserve to be the one to defeat it, anyways. Who cares if the government doesn't know what it's doing? I'll put it in his place!"

He whips around. Whispers to himself.

"Yes. Yes. It's perfect. Their stupidity benefits me. It's fine. I'm fine."

...He's trembling as he speaks.

And so yeah, despite whatever it is that her coworkers say, it seems Yanagisawa is as manic as ever.

Aguri'd almost feel bad for him if he weren't... y'know: keeping her here. He's clearly mentally unwell. But she's too afraid to possibly suggest he get help.

He only seems to actually notice her a few seconds later. He may have come in to hit her, but there were 'much more important things' on his mind. When he finally processes that there's another person here in the room with him he straightens up… takes deep breaths and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Not that any of that should matter to you, of course," he murmurs. "You're simply my newest guinea pig. None of this is of your concern." He pauses. "Forget I ever said anything."

Aguri most certainly won't, but she doesn't tell him that. Instead, she simply shuts her eyes and thinks as he administers her next dosage.

'Government… huh?' she muses. 'Oh man, Mister Reaper. What have you gotten yourself into?'

She hopes that he's staying safe... and that he's keeping the kids safe, too. She doesn't know what she'd do if anything happened to either of them. But she's sure he's on it. He did promise to her, after all.

And hey, if anything had happened to her students she's sure Yanagisawa would have already told her about it. They're fine… they're going to be fine. And Reaper's going to be fine, too. They're together.

...She just wishes she could see them.

She considers asking her coworkers if they have any idea what her old class is up to, but soon decides against it. What's the point? All she's doing is making this harder on them. They're not going to dislike her any less if she bothers them. And besides… not only are they still giving her a strict silent treatment, but they're coming within hearing range less and less. Yanagisawa must have noticed she was trying to get through to them.

...Does he want himself to be the only person she can talk to?

She resents the thought. She won't…- she won't come to him for help. She doesn't want to risk trusting him again! But all the same, the loneliness eats at her. And one afternoon she dares to venture a question.

"Have… they had my funeral yet?"

It's a dreary question, but one her mind keeps wandering back to. She has to have been in here for at least a month. Surely they've buried her. At least… metaphorically. They probably didn't find a body.

Yanagisawa raises an eyebrow. Quite frankly Aguri's not even sure he'll respond… some days he doesn't talk to her at all. But today must be one of those rambly days, because he looks up from his notes and says "Of course."

Aguri's shocked. Staring up at him, she asks "Really?"

"It was a small thing. Closed casket," he clarifies. "None of your coworkers or those… little children. Simply I, your father, and your sister." He pauses, tsking. "I'd describe it as uneventful. Your sister didn't even cry."

Now Aguri doubts that, but all the same… it eats at her. Akari and her were close, right? She'd definitely miss her.

Maybe that's worse. She doesn't want Akari to hurt. She just wants to… be remembered.

Christ, what sort of sister is she? Wishing sadness on someone she loves? There has to be something seriously wrong with her. And it's not like being 'remembered' will change anything, anyways. She's still dead to the eyes of the world… and she still put her baby sister through that.

Whether Akari cried or not, she wishes she could just reach out to her… place a hand on her shoulder and tell her 'I'm okay.' She's not, really. But the last thing she'd want to do is cause her grief.

As for the rest of the attendees… that checks out. She's surprised Dad made it, but she has a feeling he didn't cry, either. Sometimes she feels like she hasn't seen him cry since Mom died. And it's not like she was anything like Mom. If anything, she was always kind of the disappointment of the family.

(...Someone to sell away. )

Then as for her coworkers and students… well, the former group hates her, and the latter kind of did, too. She still remembers the way they talked about her, even when she believed in them up until the very end.

"Get out of here already, won't you? You're a failure… like us. It's time to stop pretending."

They… weren't her biggest fans.

Now that she thinks about it, no-one was. No-one really liked her, did they? Yanagisawa treated her like crap, and she wasn't exactly the best big sister or eldest daughter to her family. She was a failure of a teacher, and it's not like she ever had any friends outside of Reaper. She was…-

A ghost. She was already living like a ghost, even long before she 'died.'

She remembers why Yanagisawa chose Reaper to experiment on. It wasn't just about him being a dangerous criminal… it was about whether or not he risked being held accountable. He picked someone he was so certain no-one else would miss: an undocumented, unloved person without so much as even a birthday or a name.

Is Aguri the same?

She's not certain. But as the mutations continue… and as she rubs her fingers together in her restraints, noting that the texture is weird, her mind wanders back to the mental image of that tiny funeral again and again.

(...Akari doesn't cry.)

Another week passes… or maybe it's just another few days. Yanagisawa notes that her whole right arm's gone discolored; says he's got cameras in the restraints. He watches, curiously, as small tentacles sprout from her whole body… cover her arms and rise from her wound.

Aguri feels a pain in her abdomen and throat.

She's getting headaches. She's not sure whether they're from sleep deprivation or stress. Her fingers… her legs… her whole body twitch. And suddenly- abruptly, Aguri starts to cough.

Yanagisawa cocks an eyebrow, then does X-rays. He listens to her lungs... stares down at his tablet and nods.

"Ah yes… yes. It's as I expected. You're not sick… nor is there infection."

"What is it, then?" Aguri asks, staring up at him with quiet eyes.

"You'll… see in time."

The discoloration spreads. And as Aguri continues to cough it creeps up her neck and chest.

The second time Aguri has a revelation that she's not missed it's a conversation she doesn't prompt. Yanagisawa turns towards her one day, and incredulous in tone, he says:

"You know… no-one is looking for you. Not even Reaper."

Aguri stares at him, blank.

"I know. It surprised me, too," he continues. "But I suppose it checks out. You were a tool to him, after all."

"...No-one knows I'm alive," Aguri responds. "What reason would they have to look?"

"I suppose you're right," Yanagisawa admits. "But the circumstances behind your death were still most suspicious. You think he'd at least have looked."

"Not without putting himself in danger," Aguri insists.

"Why? Because you're not worth being put in danger for?"

Yanagisawa lets out a faint chuckle… reaches for a scalpel and smiles.

Aguri doesn't bother to argue.

"Anyways… I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you're going to stay here. It's not like you need another reminder that you're worthless and unmissed. No… I'm reminding you that no-one is coming to rescue you."

'You think I don't know that?' Aguri muses. 'If someone was coming for me they would have done so by now. I've accepted that.'

"Which means you're not getting rescued at all. After all, it's not like someone like you could ever stand up for yourself. Not when you know you deserve it."

Aguri's lip quivers, but she tries her best to zone him out. What's the point? It's just going to make her feel bad about herself. And it's not like ignoring Yanagisawa can make things much worse. What's he gonna do? Hit her? Stick her with Antimatter? She's used to it.

(Why is he so right? Why does she just sit down and take it? What is wrong with her?)

"If I can let you in on a little secret," Yanagisawa continues. "I'm hoping I can still get some use out of someone even as pathetic as you, though. You may be meek now, but isolation does things to people. One of these days you've got to snap. And I'm no psychologist… but maybe you'll start to see things. Maybe you'll start to forget."

"That's when this will have some real payoff. The data I'm getting from you is interesting, but it's far too close to what I learned from The Reaper to have any real worth. It's the psychological aspect of this experiment that's starting to fascinate me much more. The tentacles do incomprehensible things to the human mind… you saw how Reaper behaved near the end there... and I'm most interested in seeing how they will warp you. You could become the ultimate weapon."

Aguri's blood runs cold.

"Think about it: obedient… meek… spineless… but out of her mind? I could use you to do anything! And you'd be none the wiser. I could even use you to kill The Reaper."

"And so you are utilizing me-" Aguri tries to insist.

"Not under your agreement, Yuikimura," Yanagisawa hisses, brushing his hand past her cheek. "Months from now… years from now… decades. There will be nothing of you left. And I, for one, cannot be more excited for you to break."

'Decades.' The phrase sends a shiver down her spine. No. She refuses to believe she'll be in here that long. Reaper was projected to destroy the planet long before then! She'll…- she'll…

Be dead by then. Is that suddenly a better possibility? Would she rather be dead than alive?

She's not certain… but Yanagisawa's words frighten her. And as he stares at her with a predatory gaze, she feels a shiver run down her spine.

"Of course… this could all be simple spitballing," Yanagisawa admits. "Who knows? Maybe none of that is possible… and it certainly still wouldn't make up for having an insufficient wife. But a man's gotta dream, doesn't he? Otherwise he'll go insane. One of us's got to keep a head on our shoulders. We've still got a monster to take down, after all."

He sits up.

"...Now where was I? It appears I got distracted. Ah… right: I wanted to investigate the changes to the chest muscles. Let's get to it."

He makes an incision into the right side of her upper chest… but Aguri hardly notices. As he 'hmms,' 'haahs,' administers Antimatter and otherwise takes notes, she simply stares up at the ceiling. After all… his words hurt more than this scalpel ever could.

She wants to believe he's wrong… that she's not going to completely lose herself here, but it's hard. She already caught herself just wanting to die. What's wrong with her? Is she someone who will give up that easily?

She supposes she's always known, but it's still scary. If she has so little will to live how could she ever be expected to keep herself together? He's not wrong when he says she's a weak-willed person.

Briefly, she wants to believe that he's the crazy one here. It's an inane thought; a desperate 'no you,' but something she humors nevertheless. He has been erratic, after all. But no matter how much she tries to dwell on it she knows that he's undeniably right in saying that something is shattering in her psyche. Who cares if he's been erratic lately? That doesn't put her in any less danger.

(If anything it makes things worse! )

Like okay, yeah… he's been inconsistent with his motivations… but so what? It's not like it actually even means anything. Whether he wants to hurt her or make her go crazy or something else he's still the one in control of her. And that means she's at a complete risk of losing it.

For- for Christ's sake…- she just described one of his potential goals as 'something else.' Can she not even remember every thing he's said to her? He's been her only form of human contact for the past however many months! If she can't remember that, then-

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

She's going to throw up. She's coughing something terribly and she can't even breathe. Yanagisawa smirks at her as he hacks open her body and Aguri feels lightheaded… wants to cry. He knows he's got to her! He knows he's going to win. He knows he can use her however he wants… that he can torture her, drive her insane, and use her to kill The Reaper! What is she going to do!?

She can't just take this! She can't! What if… what if he uses her to hurt other people? What if he takes complete delight in it!? He could force her to hurt her sister!

(Akari. Akari, Akari, Akari.)

A terrifying thought, and a brief moment of respite all at once.

...No. No matter what Yanagisawa does to her she's sure of it: she won't forget her sister's face; her name. She won't let him take that from her. She just has to stay strong. She'll prove she's not meek. She'll… come up with a plan. If not for herself, then for her baby sister.

Aguri starts to draft a manta the minute he's gone. She'd start sooner… but she's too scared he'll manage to read her mind, somehow, if he's not. She waits until he closes the door… stares at it for a long moment… and then starts to repeat, again and again and again:

'My name is Aguri Yukimura. I'm 25 years old and I live on Takochou Street. I teach at Kunugigaoka Junior High. I have a beautiful baby sister named Akari Yukimura and two parents named Ayumi and Haruo. My mom is deceased, but my dad is alive and well. He runs Yukimura pharmaceuticals. My best friend was named Reaper, and he went through the exact same thing I am going through now. He managed to come out of it alive… and I will never hurt him. I am being kept here against my will by my ex-fiance… but I will not break, and I will not forget.

I'm loved. I'm loved. I'm loved. I won't forget that… that I'm loved… please. I'll do anything'

It comes out as more of a plea than a mantra, but it's something. And Aguri tries her damndest to burn it into her mind.

'My name is Aguri Yukimura. I'm 25 years old and I…-'

She's still repeating it incessantly when she starts to cough up blood.

Now that takes her by surprise. Sure… she'd seen something similar happen to The Reaper, but when she lets out another dry cough and sees red fly through the air she's shocked. Isn't it too soon for this kind of thing?

'Too soon,' she repeats, rolling her eyes and leaning back against the operating table. Who is she kidding? Of course it's not too soon. She doesn't even know how long she's been here!

At the very least her throat feels strangely relieved now that she's managed to cough it up. Given respite from the horrible hacking fits for just one minute, she lets out a sputtery breath and waits for Yanagisawa to inevitably make his appearance.

"Internal bleeding," he says as he cracks open the door. "Good. I was waiting to see this."

She doesn't look his way, but he obviously continues to explain.

"Don't worry. You won't die. This isn't exactly a normal injury." He's getting out the X-ray, dragging it over her way. "The transformation is simply starting to head inwards. Any organs you no longer need will be disposed of. Most of them should exit without issue, like this… although I do expect a few to give us a bit more trouble. Those are the ones I'll have to be monitoring you closely for."

"Yes… yes. I thought so," he muses as he wheels the X-ray in circles around her. "Things are going as projected."

He doesn't bother to tell her what body part she just threw up. Of course he doesn't. Instead, he leaves her to wonder there on her own.

She tries to focus on what hurts… but then again everything does. Did she just projectile vomit her stomach lining? Her liver? The back of her throat? She doesn't know! It all hurts the same. And it's not like she's in control of it, anyways.

It's really scary: not knowing what's going on with her body. She tries to remember what notes she'd taken on Reaper back then… but it's foggy now. It's been a long time, and she has more important things to focus on.

...She's in the dark here.

She wonders if he felt violated, too. Not just in pain, but… fundamentally shaken. Of course she'd always pitied him, but she still remembers saying his tentacles were trying to get across his true emotions. She hopes that wasn't making light of a horrible situation. She just… wanted to give him the ability to see on the bright side. She… she wasn't saying it was good this happened to him, was she?

...No.

Something very bad happened to him. And something very bad is happening to her right now. Something painful… and frightening, and irreversible. Because making it out of here with her sanity is the only goal left. She's not going to make it out of here with her organs… or her humanity… or her own self-image. This is all she has left.

'My name is Aguri Yukimura. I'm 25 years old and I live on... Takochou Street. I teach at - um… I'm a middle school teacher, and I have a beautiful baby sister named Akari Yukimura. My parents are…- my mom is deceased, but my dad is alive and well. He runs Yukimura pharmaceuticals. My best friend was named... Reaper, and he went through the exact same horrible thing I am going through now. He managed to come out of it alive… and I will never hurt him. I am being kept here against my will by my ex-fiance… but… um…-

I'm not going to give up, okay? I'm not.'

(At the very least she knows she still has her heart. Undeniably, and deafeningly loud, it pounds in the back of her chest.)


Aguri sees a boy in the lab one day. It takes her by surprise. It's not like anything else she's seen here. She opens her mouth to speak, but Yanagisawa ushers him off before she can.

She's left staring at the spot he'd been only moments before.

...He had the most frightening yellow eyes.


When she's not focusing on repeating her mantra Aguri tries to remember faces. They're hazy now: The Reaper… Akari, but if she squints she can still make them out. Moments are much easier to remember than still photos.

"You can't do this!" Akari cries. "You can't just go and live with him!"

"We're to be married," Aguri repeats firmly. "I don't have much choice."

"But then I'll…-" Akari pauses, looking guilty. "I mean...- you…- we'll be all alone. We won't be able to look out for each other."

"That's not true," Aguri responds, scooting in closer. "I'll still make sure to visit. You're the most important thing to me after all, aren't you?" She brushes a strand of hair from Akari's face. "And neither of us will be alone. You'll have Dad and I'll have Kotaro. We're not saying goodbye to each other. Things are just… changing."

"What if he… hurts you?"

"He's not going to hurt me. He's a perfectly fi-"

"He's creepy!" Akari flinches. "...I don't know, Nee-chan. He just gives me weird vibes. I don't trust him. And I don't like how he blackmailed dad, either."

"He didn't blackmail Dad," Aguri says. "He just…-" she shakes her head. "This was my decision, okay? I'm choosing to do this. No-one blackmailed anyone."

Akari huffs. "Still doesn't make him any less creepy."

"Some people are," Aguri admits. "But that doesn't make him bad. He's got a good heart down there. I've just gotta find it."

"...Promise? That you won't let him hurt you?"

"Of course not. I've still got a sister to look out for, after all… don't I?"

"Mmm," Akari replies, giving a tiny nod. "...Good," she says with a sniffle. "...I need you."

"And I need you too. Don't worry… Nee-chan's right here."

She pats Akari gently on the back. Akari leans in to hug her, pressing her face to her shoulder. Aguri can't see what sort of face she's making, but tears trail down her cheeks.

That's okay… Aguri doesn't need to remember her face... not exactly. She remembers compassionate kind eyes- beady little tears- and those words: "I need you."

'Nee-chan's right here,' she thinks. 'Nee-chan's right here.'

Suddenly tears are trailing down her own cheeks.

'My name is Aguri Yukimura. I'm 25 years old and I live on Takochou Street. I'm a Junior High teacher and I have a beautiful baby sister named Akari Yukimura. My mom is deceased, but my dad is alive and well. He runs Yukimura pharmaceuticals. My best friend was named Reaper, and he went through the exact same thing I am going through now. He managed to come out of it alive… and… so will I. I've got someone depending on me, and I will never forget that.'

'I'm loved. I'm loved. I'm loved. I won't forget that. My baby sister and my best friend… they love me.'

As she drifts off into sleep she thinks of the Reaper's face, too, for strength. She remembers how he looked near the end there: writhing and out of control. But somehow… he was still beautiful. And somehow he still managed to take back his life.

She wants to memorize every crevice of his body... because she wants to make it out of here, like he did. She wants to be just like he was, and she wants to remember him… because-

Well, because she needs to. And because others have always given her the power to stay strong.