(O.O)

Willow wasn't tired.

Despite being up for about 38 hours straight, her body didn't feel the slightest bit of exhaustion from all the things they had done since this cookie issue started.

The redhead associated the lack of her need for sleep with the drug that was still in her system. She remembered reading that sometimes drugs did that to the body and could cause you to stay up for days without rest. She contemplated doing serious research on the drug's effects on humans once this entire incident was over.

"Just add hot water to the Pallé extract and stir until the green fluid is mixed well with the water," Spike's voice cut off her inner musings.

She focused her attention on the task at hand and slowly stirred the mixture until the Pallé extract was no longer visible.

"Well, once you're done with that, we can get cups and give them to everyone. According to this book, we'll all return to our normal selves in a few minutes after we drink the juice," the vampire told her.

Willow nodded and thought back on her musing about the vampire. They made enough juice for everyone but she was still hoping that maybe he'd consider not drinking his share.

She didn't want to just force him to stay like this though so she asked.

"Hey, Spike? What are your opinions on just staying like this?"

The vampire turned to her and tilted his head to convey his confusion.

"What do you mean, Ms. Willow?"

"I mean, what do you think about staying like this? As the person we are right now?" she asked him.

Spike looked thoughtful before he answered, "I don't have any particular thought on the matter. If you wish to stay like this, then be my guess. Just remember that this version of you will only last a month."

"Oh! I don't mean I would want to stay like this," she said, before clarifying, "I'm asking if you would want to stay like this."

Seeing his continued confusion on his face at her question, she continued, "I mean, Buffy seems to prefer you like this, and since you obviously like her back as you are, maybe you should consider staying like this for her sake. Plus you're also nicer and more agreeable in this version of yourself. I mean, if you intend to stay with us, don't you think you should think about staying the way you are now?"

The vampire finally understood what she was trying to say and suddenly looked angry at the redhead.

"Ms. Willow, while I can see that you have a good reason to prefer this version of myself, there are two flaws to your suggestion."

His glare intensified as he continued, "One. The drug has a timeframe on how long its effects stay active. So even if you wish for me to stay like this forever, you will have to make sure I take the same substance again and again to maintain this version of myself."

He paused to let his point sink in before he continued.

"Now, I know you're a smart girl, so I'll not have to go into further details on why I find it offensive that you're suggesting that I drug myself up just to fit into your little group."

Willow flinched at this. Okay, she hadn't thought about that. It was horrible of her to think that someone, regardless of that person's undead status, would be okay with the idea of using drugs to fit into a group. It was just wrong on so many levels to rely on drugs to be another person so they could be part of a team.

"Second. While I know you have Ms. Buffy's best interest at heart, you have no right to decide what should be done for her sake. For all you know, she could prefer the other version of me. Did you even tell Ms. Buffy about this before coming to me?"

"I did ask her about it earlier," she mumbled, remembering her earlier conversation with the Slayer before she left with Xander to dispose of Riley's unconscious body after Giles and Anya finished the forgetting spell.

Raising an eyebrow, Spike asked, "And?"

Willow wanted to lie, but her drugged state made her tell the truth.

"And, she didn't like the idea of making your stay like this. She said it wouldn't be right."

"So, she already informed you that she didn't like the idea of having me stay in this drugged version of myself, and yet you still ask me to do it anyway? You even worded it in a way to make it seem it was for Buffy's sake!"

He gave her an incredulous look.

"Ms. Willow, are you sure you want me to stay like this because of Ms. Buffy? Or for yourself?"

"Of course! I'm doing this for Buffy's sake!" she insisted.

"Really? Even though Ms. Buffy, herself, said that she doesn't want me to stay like this?"

"It doesn't matter what she wants! She's drugged up! Once she takes this drink and turns back to her old self, I'm certain that she'll change her mind on the matter!"

"Who'll change her mind on what matters?" A new voice asked from behind the two.

The pair turned and saw Buffy standing behind them with her arms crossed. She aimed a glare at her red-haired friend because she caught the angry look the witch gave her vampire when she arrived at the scene.

Before Willow could give an excuse for what she had said, Spike answered, "She meant you, dearest. Apparently, she believes that I should stay like this because she's certain that your old self would prefer this version of me."

"I see," was all the Slayer said before turning to face the young witch.

Willow took a step back from her friend's furious gaze.

"Will, I thought we had an understanding earlier," Buffy said.

"We did! But I-"

"What? You thought that you can just go behind my back and make the decision for me?" the blonde snapped.

"Well, yeah, I mean-"

"You controlling bitch! Who do you think you are?!" the Slayer yelled.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, feeling offended at the name her friend just called her.

"No! You don't get to yell Buffy at me with that disapproving tone. You're in the wrong here."

"I merely thought that you'd be happy if Spike stayed like this," the witch tried to explain.

"And I already told you that I don't like the idea of asking him to change who he is just to be with me. I did that with Angel, and look where that got me. He left me, Will."

"That was different, he couldn't be with you because of the soul."

"And you think I wouldn't be happy to be with Spike because he isn't under the drug's influence?"

"Yes!"

"How do you know that? And who are you to decide what makes me happy?"

"Because I'm your friend, Buffy!"

The Slayer and the vampire gave her a look of disbelief.

"And that entitles you to make decisions for her?" Spike asked, finally joining the conversation.

"Stay out of this, vampire," the redhead snapped.

"No! Don't shut him up like that. He's part of this, Will. You made him part of this when you went behind my back and tried to convince Spike that he should stay like this." Buffy said before she added, "Besides he's right."

The young witch was taken aback and she stared at her friend in confusion.

Seeing an opportunity, the Slayer continued, "Just because you're my friend, that doesn't automatically give you a right to butt into my life and have a say in my choices."

"But Buffy-"

"Shut up. I'm not done talking," the Slayer cut her off.

She took a step closer to the young redhead and continued.

"Willow, I know you think that you know better than everyone and you feel the need to meddle in your friends' affairs when things don't go the way you want them, but you need to stop this. You're not my mother or my sister, and even if you were, this is my life, my choice. You don't get to make decisions for me."

"Buffy..."

Despite the kicked puppy look that the witch sent her, the Slayer's heart hardened. She was angry. Maybe it was because of the drug's influence that was making her less susceptible to the look from her friend or perhaps it was because of some remnants of anger she had from last night's fight with her. Overall, she wasn't ready to let her slide that easily.

"I don't want you to keep doing this to me, Will. Going behind my back, and making decisions for me without my consent, they're things I don't like in my friends."

Willow flinched at this. Was she saying what I think she's saying? She thought.

"Are-are you saying that you don't want to be friends anymore?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'm saying that I don't want to be friends with someone who can't respect my choices and who I can't trust to not stab me in the back by making decisions for me," the Slayer told her before she turned her attention to Spike.

"Are you done with the drink?" she asked.

The vampire nodded.

"Yes. I was going to get cups for everyone."

"Let me help you," Buffy said with a goofy smile.

The witch stood frozen in her spot as the two grabbed cups and mugs from Giles' cupboard. She thought back on the conversation she had with the two and still couldn't believe her friend, or maybe ex-friend would be a better word for her. Anyway, she couldn't believe Buffy was willing to end their friendship because of this. All she wanted was to help her gain a bit of happiness.

"Come on. We better get this over with and get all of us back to our normal selves," Spike told her, urging her to follow the Slayer to the living room.

She glared at the vampire. It was his fault that Buffy was angry with her. If only he agreed to her suggestion, this fight wouldn't have happened in the first place.

"You know, you can glare at me all you want, but Ms. Buffy's right. You are in the wrong here, Ms. Willow. You shouldn't make decisions for your friends without their consent."

"But I'm doing it for her sake," she insisted.

"The fact you still can't see the error in your ways only means that this is the drug talking," the vampire pointed, "Try telling me that again when you're back to your normal self and I'll entertain this argument of yours." He turned away and started to walk towards the others.

She wanted to say more but saw that the vampire was no longer willing to listen to her. So she begrudgingly followed the two.

However, in her head, she thought vindictively; I know I'm right and I know that once everything is back to normal, Buffy will come to me and apologize for everything and will beg me to turn Spike back to this version of himself.

(O.O)

Xander woke up with a start. He looked around his surroundings and realized that it was 9 am and he had spent the night at Giles' place.

He tried to remember what happened the night before but his memory was a bit hazy on the matter. At least until he heard someone groan from the couch.

He turned to the occupants of the said couch and was horrified at the sight.

Right before his eyes, he saw Anya waking up from sleep, but what disturbed him most was the fact she was waking from sleeping in Giles' arms. From that image, all memories of what had happened in the last couple of days came rushing back to him.

"Xander?" Anya called out groggily.

"Jesus Christ, you almost slept with Giles!" He cried, pointing at his now ex-girlfriend.

This fully awakened the young woman and made her jump away from the said man as fast as she could. This action also caused the Brit to wake up from his slumber.

"Oh, my god!" Anya cried, looking horrified at Giles.

"Oh, dear Lord!" was Giles' response while sharing the same expression as the younger woman.

"I can't believe you two!" Xander said.

Anya turned to the younger man and looked torn. A couple of days ago, she was so sure that Xander was the man for her. He liked her and sex with him was great. However, after spending almost a couple of days as the hidden version of herself, she no longer felt the same way.

Apparently, the hidden part of herself wanted stability and a family, which was understandable because she'd been around for a long time.

All those years as a demon, she never got a chance to have those things. Now that she was human again, she wanted the complete package, a husband and kids. But up until the cookie incident, she never entertained such thoughts because she still held on to her fond memories as a demon.

However, her fondness no longer existed because of what happened to her these past two days. Now that she saw that other part of her, she still wanted what her drugged self wanted. But she knew Xander wasn't on the same page as her.

He's too young for me. She thought sadly.

The Xander that she knew right now wouldn't agree to marry her or have children. Heck, he hadn't even told her that he loved her yet.

And I know he'll never say those words to me.

She thought back on Xander's behavior the past two days and she knew the man still held a torch for the Slayer.

I'll never measure up to her.

She sat back down on the couch and allowed Xander to berate her for trying to hook up with Giles throughout the entire cookie thing. She didn't care what he said to her. It didn't hurt her as much as it hurt to know she would never be enough for him.

"Oh, shut up, Xander. I know you have a right to be angry at what happened but you shouldn't put all the blame on Anya. After all, she acted that way because of the cookies just as all of us did," Giles snapped at the boy.

Anya turned to Giles, surprised that he defended her. She thought he'd be just as disgusted with her since her carnal actions were directed at him.

Of course, he was always the most mature one in their group. She thought.

It was among the reasons, her other self wanted to be with him. She knew that he was the best person to provide all the things she wanted in this short human life of hers.

"Thank you for defending me," Anya told the ex-Watcher.

Giles merely smiled kindly at the poor girl.

"You're welcome, my dear. Also, I would like to apologize for my horrible actions these past few days," he said to her, "I was a rude man and was crass towards your endeavors in finding-ahem, a husband for yourself."

"Oh! You're apologizing! I mean, I'm sorry for practically throwing myself at you! Truthfully, while I find you physically pleasing and you would make a suitable husband, I didn't really love you and I was only doing those things to get what I wanted. I shouldn't have done that," Anya responded.

"No worries," Giles replied with an indulgent smile that put Anya at ease.

"You two are apologizing to each other? What about me? I'm the one who got cheated on," Xander said, glaring at the two.

"Oh, shut up, Xander. While I did try to have sex with Giles to get pregnant, you weren't innocent either," Anya finally snapped at him, "Do I need to remind you that I remember how you kept trying to get into Buffy's pants?"

"I seem to recall you saying something along the lines of wanting to get some 'Buffy action' for helping in saving the poor girl from the Initiative," Giles added.

This time it was Xander's turn to be embarrassed by his actions under the cookies' influence.

"I was drugged! You can't fault me for that!" Was the boy's stupid response.

"Funny, you didn't seem to mind that we, too, had been affected by the same substance as you while you reprimanded us earlier," Anya sneered at him.

"Anh!"

"Xander, shut up!" Another voice suddenly was heard from behind the couch.

The three turned and found that it was Buffy, who had been awoken by the noise.

She slowly stood up, bringing a groggy Willow with her. She turned to the witch.

"You okay?" she asked her friend.

"I feel like a bus ran me," was the witch's response. She rubbed her temple as she said it.

"Do you want something for the pain, Willow? I have some aspirin in my medicine cabinet," Giles said, taking pity at the obvious pain the girl was in.

"Sure. As long as it's normal human aspirin and not the demonic kind, I'll take it," the red-haired witch responded.

Giles winced at the obvious jibe towards his frivolous stock of demon recreational drugs, before leaving to fetch the medicine for the witch.

When the ex-Watcher came back, the group was settled in their respective seats. Anya, Buffy, and Willow took the sofa, while Xander sat on the chair where they had tied up Spike and Riley.

The old man handed Willow a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin, to which the girl took a couple of pills out and downed them.

"Thanks," the young girl said, giving the old man a weak smile.

"Okay. Now that that's settled. Let's get down to business," Buffy said, sounding very serious. "As much as I know we all would like to just go home and change clothes and maybe believe that the last few days didn't happen, I think we should stay and talk about it while the events are still fresh in our heads; starting with all our behaviors or the behaviors of our other selves."

"What's there to talk about Buffster? We were drugged. We can't be held responsible for what we did while we were under the influence of a substance," Xander said, earning him a glare from the Slayer.

"Really, Xander? You want us to just sweep everything under the rug? How you keep coming at me even when I said no? How Anya tried to make Giles her husband? Or how Giles purposely blew up the Initiative and got those soldiers killed? Are you really suggesting that we should just forget it all and shove it in the dark corners of our minds where we don't think about it all? Are you serious?"

"I mean, I was just thinking that we shouldn't dwell on what happened. I mean, none of us were ourselves."

"Wrong!" Buffy snapped, standing up from her seat.

"All of us were turned into the parts of ourselves that we hide from others, so the actions we did while we were those persons were still our own."

"Are you saying that you accept the fact that you kissed Spike and proactively tried to flirt with him, Buffy?" The young man challenged, expecting his friend to deny what she did.

"Well, I remember doing all of that of my own free will, so yes, I do accept that I flirted with Spike and kissed him," she admitted, surprising not herself and everyone in the group.

"And, I'm willing to take responsibility for what I did, at least as soon as I find that stupid vampire," Buffy said, grumbling the last part of her sentence.

"Speaking of dead boy Jr., where the heck is he? Shouldn't he be here with us since he fell unconscious as well when we took the drink?" Xander asked, realizing that the vampire in question was not with them.

The rest of the group turned around and found that Xander was right. Spike wasn't in the apartment with them and the only indication he was ever there was his coat that Giles was still wearing.

"Maybe he got up before any of us did and left? I mean, we did see a part of him that he didn't want others to know about and I gotta say it was wiggy to see him act like Giles," Willow said, "Maybe he was embarrassed and left."

Xander laughed remembering the vampire's behavior. "Hehehe. I'd be embarrassed too if I acted like a Giles wannabe," he said.

"That's rude, Xander," Anya said, making him notice that his comments were not appreciated by anyone in the room, especially the Slayer, who glared at him.

"What? I only meant that it was strange that he was acting like that. I mean, I thought vampires didn't have their personalities and merely used their human host's memories to fake human things for their benefit? I just thought it was crazy, you know?" The boy tried to defend himself.

"Fascinating as well," was the ex-Watcher's only response to this.

He did find it fascinating that Spike acted cultured and refined under the drug's influence. He wasn't certain why that was so. If vampires were really soulless things without personality and any thoughts other than death, blood, and violence, why did Spike act the way he did?

The older gentleman was seriously contemplating doing further research on the drug's effects and seeing if he could figure out why Spike acted the way he had.

"Right. Let's ignore the Spike bit of the incident, since he's not here, and focus more on what happened to everyone else, who's still in this room," Buffy said, "Really, guys, I think it would benefit all of us if we talk about what happened and not keep this to ourselves."

The Slayer stood up and faced the group.

"These past few days, I learned so much about everyone and myself and I think that we should discuss it further," Buffy said.

She put a hand on her chest and told her friends of her experience under the cookies' influence. She explained that despite being drugged, she felt free and was not restricted by the ideals that her Calling and her friends had set for her. She described her feelings on the matter and how she loved it.

"Except for my little time with the Initiative, I mostly liked the effects the drug had on me," the Slayer concluded.

"Are you saying that you want to take the drugs again?" Willow asked, looking concerned.

While she understood that there was an appeal to the drug bringing out her friend's confident and not-a-care-in-the-world persona, she hated that version of Buffy because she acted too much like Cordelia.

"Oh, no! I don't want to use the drugs again! What I meant is that I don't see any need to keep hiding certain parts of myself," Buffy said, "My bitchiness aside, I liked that I was open to everyone and was not concerned about anyone's opinions other than my own."

"I did notice you were happier because of that," Anya added.

"Yeah, I was happier," Buffy agreed before turning to her friends.

"Who wants to share next?"

Despite the group's reluctance to follow their Slayer's example, one by one the Scoobies shared their perspective on what happened and how the drug had affected them.

Willow spoke first. She voiced her apology to everyone for what happened and specifically asked forgiveness to the Slayer for her actions. The incident made her realize several horrible things about herself. Unlike Buffy, who liked the other version of herself, Willow, on the other hand, wanted to change those parts of herself. She saw that deep down, she was selfish, controlling, and had a terrible habit of butting into other people's business, particularly on her friends' love lives.

She thought back on Spike's words when she suggested that he stayed drugged for Buffy's sake. Now that she was no longer affected by the drug, she could see that the vampire was right.

She was wrong to think she had a right to decide things for her friends. She wasn't God, and just because she was friends with someone, it didn't give her the right to decide what's best for them.

She apologized to Buffy for thinking such things during her drugged state and for disrespecting and undermining her choices of companion. She also made a promise to the Slayer to be more supportive in her romantic endeavors instead of judging her for her preferences toward the undead. And she was sorry for forcing her into a relationship with men who just didn't measure up to the Slayer's standard of normal.

"Thanks, Will," Buffy said, smiling at her friend's sweet declarations of trying to be a better person. "I promise to be a better friend too. I mean, I should've been there for you when Oz left but I wasn't. So I promise that after all this, expect ice cream and cheesy romance movies in our future."

When the two friends finished their exchange, it was Anya, who took a turn to speak up. She told everyone about her realizations from the incident that she secretly had dreams of having a family and wanting stability in her life that she hadn't had since she became human. She also admitted to everyone, particularly Xander that he was not the man that would give that to her.

Xander saw the sadness in the ex-demon's eyes and agreed with the assessment. While he didn't like that she was breaking up with him in front of his friends, he did understand her reasoning. The Cookie incident made him realize as well that they were not meant to be because he still carried a torch for Buffy. It did irk him that his crush on his friend bordered on icky because he apparently couldn't take no for an answer.

He apologized to the Slayer for that and told her that the incident made him realize that his infatuation with his friend was affecting how he treated her and why he always judged her relationship choices so hard. Deep down, he thought that if he made her think that no guy was right for her, she might look his way and finally pick him.

"Xander, you know that's not right," Willow told her friend gently.

"I know." He responded before turning his attention to the Slayer. "That's why I'm apologizing, Buffy. I know you don't share the same feelings and from what I saw these past few days, I finally realized that you'll never share the same feelings. I get that now. I'm really sorry for how I've treated you and for grossing you out with the way I forced my feelings on you. I just hope you'll still want to be my friend after all this."

The Slayer looked hesitant at the offered friendship from the young man. But memories of their past friendship and the competent version of Xander she saw during the incident, made her reconsider.

If he could get over his attraction and respect my relationship choices and continue to act as the reliant-Xander I know him to be, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad that we stayed friends. She thought.

"I want us to stay friends, Xan, but I also want you to understand that friendship is the only thing I can give you. I don't want you to stay friends with me because you think it will amount to anything more in the future."

"I know," Xander said with a sad smile, "Don't worry. I won't expect you to return my feelings, Buffster. I accept that now. I do promise that I won't let them cloud my judgment and determine how I act around you and who you choose to be with in the future."

It's not a promise to stop having a crush on me but at least he promised to respect my future relationship choices. She thought.

The last one who opened up was Giles, who looked extremely guilty about how he had acted under the cookies' influence. He thought the band candy Incident was bad enough but spending almost 2 days, instead of a few hours, as his Ripper persona, was worse and he had no one to blame other than himself for having that damn sugar in his possession and not having the insight to warn Willow about it.

He apologized to the group for how he acted and to Xander for causing a rift in his relationship with Anya.

"It's okay, Giles. I think Anya and I can agree that even without your involvement, we would've eventually broken up," the boy said.

"I agree. Xander and I just don't see eye to eye on what we want in a relationship. We should break up now when feelings are not too deep rather than later when both of us are invested in the relationship and our feelings will be hurt and I would consider turning back into a demon to curse his penis to fall off," the ex-demon added.

The ex-Watcher ignored the young woman's morbid statement and merely nodded at the two. He appreciated that they were acting like adults about what happened to their relationship, which was a great contrast to how Xander had acted when they first woke up earlier.

He then turned his attention to his Slayer.

"My dear, I cannot describe to you how horrified I am that you saw that side of me. I want to make excuses for my actions but I know that they will never be enough. I killed those men and I know it may disgust you further, but I am man enough to admit that I don't regret doing so. Those soldiers had you and would most likely have done experiments on you. As someone who cares very deeply for you, I simply could not allow them to continue as they were. I am only sorry because I know I have hurt you in what I have done," Giles said.

Buffy could see the sadness and fear in the older man's eyes. She knew that he was expecting her to cast judgment or for her to turn her back on him because of what he had done to the Initiative. But she wasn't going to do any of that.

"Giles, I don't agree with your methods, I do understand why you did it, so there's no need to apologize." Her eyes turned glassy as she remembered what she saw in the few hours she spent in captivity.

"Those men, from the Initiative, weren't good people. What they did down there? Regardless of who they were doing it to, it was wrong and evil. They had it coming in one way or another. They needed to be stopped."

Giles recognized the look in his Slayer's eyes. It was the look of one whose worldview was shattered.

Humans good, demons bad. That was her creed.

But the lines between good and bad had blurred for his young charge because of whatever it was she had seen there. He wished it hadn't happened but since it had, all he could offer the young woman was his strong and supporting embrace.

The hug lasted for a short moment, his aching ribs were the reason for that. But his Slayer was looking more calm and sure of herself again and so he didn't mind a couple of cracked bones that he earned from it.

"The only thing that really surprised about the Ripper you is that you still came for me, Giles," Buffy said, with a teasing smile, "I mean, I half expected the Ripper version of you to sit this one out since he didn't seem inclined to help us when we needed to reverse the drug's effects."

"Actually, with my mental state back then, I'm quite certain I wouldn't have helped either," Giles admitted, looking slightly guilty.

Seeing the confusion on his younger companions' faces, he explained further.

"It was Spike, who convinced me to come back. He reminded me that I still cared for you and you needed my help so I came. You know for a vampire who tried to kill you so many times in the past, he is quite good at keeping you alive."

"Yeah, that should be expected, considering how long he kept Drusilla alive," she said.

The ex-Watcher didn't miss the fond look his Slayer had at the thought of the vampire. He didn't like it, but his charge's reactions to her friends meddling in her romantic affairs, swayed him to respect the Slayer and her decisions on her relationship choices.

"I still don't get why Spike acted the way he did," Xander said, interrupting the ex-Watcher's thoughts. "I mean, if vampires are mindless killers, how come he didn't turn into one and simply attack us regardless of the chip? Why'd he helped us and Buffy? Better yet where'd that Giles Jr. persona come from?"

All were good questions. Too bad the vampire wasn't there to answer them.

TBC

(O.O)