"Okay," Korosensei says. "Would you like to talk about what just happened? You were involved after all, weren't you?"

And Aguri feels a little bit like she's been hit by a bus.

Because yeah, sure... planning a fake confession to the guy you have a crush on with your brand new friend is mortifying in and of itself. But being caught in and called out on it? That's a whole new low.

"Involved with… what?" She asks, not looking his way. She continues to walk. They're a bit down the street now, and she'd prefer not to look at him. "I mean- what happened? Did something go wro-?"

"Irina," Korosensei interjects. "The situation with Irina." He pauses… tilts his head. "Your smell was all over her. And that's not her typical sort of behavior. Did you… ask her to do something? Or did she put you up to that?"

Aguri's quiet… stopping in place. She bites down on her lip, but doesn't speak.

"I'm not going to be angry if the answer is yes," Korosensei continues. "I'd simply like to know. If she's picking on you or attempting to hurt your feelings, then-"

"No," Aguri says quickly, breathing almost hard. "No. She… she didn't do anything," she repeats. "She was just trying to help me. Please don't be mad at her- oh my god."

She blinks fast. As much as Irina hurt her feelings with some of the things she said, she doesn't want her to get in trouble because of her. Aguri is the one who'd approached Irina. And ultimately Irina hadn't done anything wrong. She tried to bury the hatchet. It's Aguri who's still… still-

Well, she doesn't quite know. But doing something wrong.

Korosensei gives pause… stopping as well. He turns back to look at Aguri, something indistinct in those beady white eyes. And face flushing blue he says, "I was not going to be angry with her either. Please do not worry about that." Another long pause. "That said, however, I'm glad to hear that you're… getting along."

He takes a step forward. Adjusts his cap, slightly.

"What was that, then?" He asks. "If not something you were put up to? You said she was… trying to help you?"

"Uh, yeah," Aguri says, almost ashamed. "She offered to… do that," she admits. "Talk to you about that, I mean."

"Why?"

Aguri doesn't answer.

"...Would you like to talk about it, too?"

Aguri shifts slightly. Shaking her head, she starts to say 'Not really…' but drifts off.

This is never going to leave her if she doesn't bring it up.

While she appreciates what Irina did for her… she doesn't feel any better than she did before all of this happened. She still doesn't have the answers she needs. And none of those are ever going to come to her unless she talks to… to-

(To this unapproachable person.)

Her lip twitches slightly. She frowns. But even so- despite the shaking of her hands, she manages to whisper "Is it… true that you were in love with her? Back when she first came to class?"

It comes out more accusatory than she intends.

Korosensei pauses. Tilting his head slightly, he asks "What?"

"The students told me," Aguri says. "And… Irina agreed. She said that… that back when she first came to class she was able to seduce you. And that you were- were really head over heels for her. You turned her down just now, but… why? Was it just because you knew we were setting you up? Or has something changed since then?" A pause. "You… you did think she was pretty, right? Back when you thought I was still…" She drifts off. "You know."

Korosensei flinches a bit.

(Neither of them can bring themselves to say 'dead.')

"Well," he says slowly, seeming to think over his words very carefully. "I will admit that Miss Irina is a very attractive woman… and I appreciated that for sure back then. I do even now. All the same, however, a serious relationship was never even up in the air. I had a hunch from the beginning that she was manipulating me… and I played along if only to get her guard down. Once she made her attempt on my life all pretenses of romance were destroyed… and we've had a strictly platonic relationship ever since. She has no such feelings for me in reality, after all."

"...And what if she did?"

"Pardon?"

Aguri's fist clenches.

"It's not about- - it's not about what she actually feels," she whispers, blinking back tears. "What if she did? What would you have done then? Would you have dated her?"

Tension hangs in the air. Aguri's gaze is harsh, and Korosensei almost looks like he doesn't know what to say. Deep in thought, he glances up at Aguri, then back down. And almost too professionally, he straightens his tie out only to say, "No. I do not believe I would have. I hold no such feelings for Irina."

And there it is. Her answer. That's what Aguri wanted to hear, right? And so… why hasn't the tension relieved from her body? Why is she still staring at this person she's supposed to care about with such accusatory eyes.

"It's not just about her."

"What now?"

"It's… not just about her," Aguri says, voice soft. "Irina has been… very nice to me. And so I don't know why I feel this way about her. Even if she were in a relationship with you I'd be happy for her. Surely she'd deserve it. But… she's not the only one you look at that way."

"'That way?'" Korosensei repeats, incredulous.

"...Akari told me that you keep a porn stash hidden under your bed," Aguri says, voice starting to waver. "The students say that you've oogled people on the street. And I can't stop thinking... 'W-why? Isn't that so soon after... what happened?' 'Are these people doing something that I'm not?'"

Her breath quickens a bit. She hates even admitting it to him, but her heart starts to ache. What else is she supposed to say? It is that that's bothering her, right?

"Yukimura," Korosensei says, voice deeply serious. "I understand why your feelings are wounded, but I am a person with human needs. There is no way I was going to be able to suppress those urges for the rest of my life. Your loss deeply wounded me, but-"

"And I wouldn't expect you to!" Aguri clarifies. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Of course not. " She drifts off... blinks fast. "If I really was dead… then of course I'd want you to be happy. Of course I'd want you to be with someone else. But… she seems to have shown up so quickly. Did you really move on from me that fast?"

The thought hurts. She thought they had something special. And the idea that there's not... that she was just any other person to him- it's the worst thing she can possibly imagine.

"...I know that's a ridiculous question to ask," she continues, hands drifting up to her cheeks. She hasn't started crying yet, but somehow she feels close to starting. "We weren't even together. But I felt something. Didn't you? Or was I just…- just deluding myself? I really thought that something was there."

"And when I think about- about there not being," she murmurs, breaths becoming a bit harder. "I completely freak out. It was all that I clung to for so long. You were all that I had. If I wasn't… if I wasn't as important to you, then I don't know what I'd do."

"Yukimura-"

"I fantasized about it!" She continues, blinking back tears. "The two of us! It was… it was all I could think about in that place. And now that I- that things aren't like I thought they'd be I don't know what I'm going to do. I see you attracted to all of these people and I go 'What am I doing wrong? Did he never feel that way about me? Or is it a- is it a new thing?' I don't know what I'd do if there was almost something there. If we- we were really going to you know but all of this ruined that for me. That you hate me now because of what I've become."

There's no holding back the tears. She starts to sniffle- hiccup as she speaks.

"Yukimura-"

"It's like... I missed you every day! I never once stopped thinking about you! And now… now- oh my god! It's like you can't even bear to look at me!"

"Aguri."

Aguri drifts off. She hadn't even realized just how much she'd started to cry up until this moment, but his stern voice snaps her out of it. Her face feels raw... her eyes red. And Korosensei stares at her with an intense, crestfallen look.

He reaches out to grab her shoulder. Clutches it tight.

"First of all," he says, looking taken aback. "I don't hate you. If there is anything you are going to get out of this conversation then I want you to know that I would never, ever hate you. And second of all…" he pauses. "I never stopped missing you. Regardless of what I did, I never once forgot about you. You are the only reason I am living this flawless dream life. Without my promise to you I would have nothing."

"You are the reason that I met the students. You are the one who stopped me from my rampage. Without you I would have nothing. And so please, do not doubt my dedication to you. You are one of the most important people I have ever had in my life."

"Aguri, you are my best friend. And I am so, so happy that you're alive. I'm sorry my behavior managed to make you feel this way. But you are and always will be more than enough."

He squeezes her shoulder. Tight. In any other situation, it would almost make her scared.

The sheer conviction to his voice leaves her stunned. And yet the kind words leave her doubting. He so genuinely sounds like he believes that. But… how? And if so, why?

Why did what happened that night happen?

(More than anything she just wanted to escape to that perfect life with him)

"You… still turned me down," she says. "...You keep saying all this stuff about how I'm important. About how much you care for me. But you're avoiding the big word. Did you…- you know? Or was I just assuming?" She sniffles. "I know it's selfish to ask- you don't owe me anything. But I've- I've got to know! I think about it and I get so sick. Please just tell me clearly. Was I… was I ever that sort of person to you? Did something change? Or was it never there in the first place?"

Korosensei's quiet for a long moment.

"Were you… ever that sort of person to me?" He repeats.

"Did you love me?" Aguri clarifies, giving a defeated shrug. "Not as a friend… and not as a companion, but were you ever attracted to me? I know it doesn't matter… and I know it's not even really about how you feel, but I put so much stake into thinking about those things. And I became…- I became so convinced that they were the truth. Thinking that they weren't… it makes me feel like I can't trust my perception of other things, either. That… that none of what we had was real."

"And I'm not saying that as a threat!" she sputters. "I'm not trying to- I don't want you to... if you don't feel that way then I just want you to tell me. But… but teetering on the edge like this: it makes me feel so scared. Especially when it feels like you're avoiding looking at me at all."

"Avoiding… looking at you?"

"I think that's my biggest fear. Because I swear…- I swear you saw something in me before. And I'd almost rather you tell me you didn't! Knowing I was delusional would be better than knowing I was right… knowing that something changed. And that I- I screwed this thing up. That you don't like me anymore."

"I changed your life. I made you happy," she whispers. "But… what about now? What am I doing for you now? Are you really thankful I'm here... or am I just making you sad?"

"I know it must be pretty bad to look at," she continues. "Especially when we were so close before. But I'm not trying to be ruined. I'm not. I didn't want to…- I didn't want to look this way… or- or to act like some crazy person. But it's just… it's so hard… and the truth is I was always like this. Yangisawa just made me look like what I am inside. I don't know why you didn't see it before."

She shakes as she stares down at the ground. Tears dribbling down her cheeks, she bites on her lip and avoids looking his way.

Korosensei is quiet for a long moment. Sighing slightly, he shakes his head and says "...Ah. So that's what kickstarted this. I see."

He takes a step closer. She takes a step back. He motions to remove his hand from her shoulder, but she doesn't let him. Clinging to it tight, she presses it down to her arm.

...He doesn't fight. Instead, leaning down, slightly, he says:

"Aguri. I said it once, and I will say it again: I am so, so happy you are alive… and nothing is going to change that." He pauses. "My world was wrecked when I thought I'd lost you. You were the only person who ever saw good in me. And I will always be thankful for that."

"Of course… there are downsides to this situation," he continues. "Things that make me sad. But none of that has to do with you being ruined. If I've been avoiding looking at you- and I apologize if I have- that is in no way because you are 'destroyed.' I'm simply heartbroken that you went through the same thing I did. And it hurts me to think about."

"That does not mean that that is your fault. And that does not mean that you are doing something wrong by being here. Do not apologize for making me sad. You are not the one doing that. The only person hurting me is Yanagisawa, and that is just because he hurt you."

"You are not ruined. Allow me to repeat that: you are not ruined. You are beautiful, and you are kind, and there is nothing wrong with how you are handling the situation. You have been out of that place for less than a month. Of course you're behaving 'irrationally.' That is not a display of brokenness. That is a trauma response."

"That said, however, I cannot date you. Because this is a trauma response, too… Aguri. These things that you're saying about me being perfect… about me being the person to determine your self-worth. They are dangerous. And you should never be in a position where you're allowing me to decide that for you."

"But… but you have to!" Aguri responds. "I mean… I can't do it on my own." She wipes at her nose. Breathes in deep. "I've felt this way all my life. Stupid. Worthless. Annoying. But you made me feel different. You made me feel like someone amazing. And now… now…-" she drifts off. "I don't feel that way anymore."

She turns slightly. "I am never going to feel good about myself. I've… pretty much already accepted that. But if even you can't see the good in me… well, then, it's pretty much the end for me." A pause. "I've got nothing left to fight for."

"I do see the good in you," Korosensei responds. "Aguri… not only are you my best friend, but I have all sorts of feelings for you. In a perfect world I'd like to be with you, too. However, not only would that be taking advantage of you while you're in a vulnerable state, but I am not this person you seem to think I am. It's more than clear you've spent a lot of time fantasizing about this 'dream life' with me… and I am not that person. I cannot fix things for you. I will do everything in my power to try, but I am not flawless… and I do not want to let you down."

"You would… you would never let me down," Aguri whispers, letting out a sniffle. "I mean that: never."

"I already have in many ways," Korosensei admits. He squeezes her shoulder. His face goes a deep blue. "I allowed you to die because of my outburst. And then when- miraculously- you were saved, I failed to find out and allowed you to suffer for months. I did not do my due diligence, and if I had then we wouldn't be in this situation right now. Not only that, but I've continued to allow your feelings to get hurt even now. These are not flaws that would subside simply due to a relationship… and there are many ways I could hurt you in the future."

"I do not feel comfortable having that degree of control over you, nor having that much on my shoulders. I am happy to be there for you when you need me… but I cannot be with you Aguri. Not like that. There is still so much healing that you need to do… and you are not at a point in time where you can see me for who I really am." A pause. "Of course, that is not an instruction to hurry the healing process. Take as much time as you need. But part of that healing will be accepting that you are still worth so much without me."

Aguri wants to argue. But... as much as she hates to admit it, he has a point. He has failed her. And… he can't give her what she wants right now. He can't love her.

'He wants to, though,' she thinks. 'Isn't that what you wanted to hear? He wants to be with you. He just… can't. Not when you're like this right now.'

'This.' Which… isn't saying broken. At least not in his terms. She's not broken. She's sick.

('Aren't those the same thing?' she thinks, but covers her face with her hands. 'No Don't think like that right now. Don't you dare spiral. Not when he's being so kind.')

"Do… do you really mean that?" she whispers. "All those things about me still being worthwhile? N… not broken? Loveable?"

Korosensei's quiet for a long moment… hand still on her shoulder. Finally, he removes it, his grip drifting down to her palm.

"...Come on," he says. "We should get back to walking. Standing here in one place isn't good for either of us. Why don't we go somewhere with a better view?"

Slowly, he guides her down the street. She toils after, clinging to that hand for dear life. She's still crying a bit, but she supposes it's less intense.

Korosensei reaches up to wipe at her cheek. He dabs the tears away gently, still walking as he speaks.

"...Is it Yangisawa who said those things to you?" he asks. "About you being broken? Unlovable? You know that you should not listen to anything he says."

Aguri frowns.

"Not when in this case he's right," she replies. "I mean… some of it comes from him," she admits. "But I think a lot of it comes from me, too. I've had a lot of time to think this stuff over… how I feel about myself. And I think he just expedited it. I'd hate myself either way."

This… isn't new, after all, is it? She thinks back to before she was in the lab. Back to before she met Yanagisawa. Back to before college and back to before she had grown up things to worry about. She's thirteen years old and her mother's dead and her sister's crying in the other room. Her dad hasn't come out of his study in a week.

Akari's shrieks ring in her ears. She doesn't even know what she's doing, but she waddles over to the two-year-old-girl. She picks her up carefully, whispering "...Hey. Hey. It's okay. I'm here now."

(Akari doesn't stop crying.)

Her dad never officially asks her to take care of her sister. The responsibility just falls on her shoulders. That's okay, though. Aguri puts on her best brave face and tries to help out. She plans birthday parties… hangouts. She teaches Akari everything that she knows… and she watches her grow up before her very eyes.

(She watches her grow into a superstar.)

Suddenly Akari's famous. And suddenly Dad is paying attention. Aguri's twenty years old, and she tells him that she wants to be a teacher.

His lip wrinkles slightly, but it's all she's ever had passion for.

'Not enough,' he thinks, and she thinks it too. 'Your sister's a celebrity, and you want to be a teacher? That's it?'

She's twenty-two years old when the family stock crashes. There's nothing that she can do to help out. If anything, she's just depleting the funds more. Her dad doesn't need to worry about her and college.

... She's twenty-three years old when she meets Kotaro Yanagisawa.

He saves the company… swoops in and does what she couldn't. Dad tells her that he's planning to leave if she doesn't offer him her hand in marriage: that everyone is depending on her. That she's got to keep her loved ones safe. The thought makes Aguri sick, but she knows that there's not much she can do.

...This is finally her chance to help. And all she has to do is be enough. Enough for this strange, frightening person.

(She never is.)

She tries her hardest. She tries with everything in her power. But he never tells her that he loves her, and ultimately when he pins her down to that pristine white lab table… she'd had a feeling that something like this was coming from the start.

(She's so, so fucking scared)

She's Aguri Yukimura. She's a burden on her family... and she spent most of her life following other peoples' dreams instead of her own. She's never been asked out by a boy or told that she's really needed by a company. She just sort of drifted by. And try as she might, she doesn't think there's any unlearning that.

"...He called me an 'it' sometimes," she finally admits. "That hurt, I guess. I didn't think of that one on my own."

"That's terrible," Korosensei replies. "Do you hear me?" he asks. "That's terrible."

"Mmm," Aguri replies.

He seems so mad. His face flashes black for just a split second. Aguri thinks that she should be scared… but she can't be. Her limbs feel heavy… and her body lethargic. She leans on his side as she walks.

He's the one she really wanted to be enough for. He's the one who made her stop feeling this way… if only briefly. That's why she wanted to be acknowledged by him so bad, right?

(...That's why she felt so stood up for.)

"He also told me that… you'd react badly," She admits, absentmindedly reaching up to rub at her eyes. "I guess that's why I was so worried about you secretly hating me now. He said that… that you'd be repulsed by me. Scared of me. That he was going to take away the one thing I ever had."

"...I'm not the one thing you've ever had."

"He said he'd take away my sister, too."

"He hasn't," Korosensei replies. "He hasn't. And he… hasn't taken away me, either." He pauses… tilts his head. "Do you really think I'm that shallow?"

Aguri shrugs. Giving a sniffle, she admits "...Kind of."

Korosensei continues to walk.

"Sorry," Aguri quickly tacks on. "I didn't mean t-"

"Don't be," Korosensei says. "...Don't be. Don't worry, I get it." Another pause. "Your view… however, is fundamentally false. Not about me, but about yourself. Yanagisawa is wrong to have said that you're unlovable… either by me or by anyone else."

Aguri shifts slightly. Rubbing uncomfortably at her arm, she gives a frown.

"I know that may be hard to believe…" Korosensei admits "But allow me to put this into terms that you may better understand. A situation that you may be more inclined to empathize with." He turns back towards Aguri... tightly squeezes her hand. "I still have worth in your eyes, don't I?"

"...What?"

"I still have worth to you, don't I?" Korosensei asks. "You'd like to be in a relationship with me. You clearly think highly of me. Why shouldn't you extend that kindness to yourself?"

"That's different," Aguri insists.

"Really, it's not," Korosensei replies. "We have been through similar things. And although I may appear to be handling it better on the outside… I have my unhealthy coping mechanisms too. I have gone through the same changes that you have. And yet… you still see something worthwhile in me. Find me attractive, even. It may sound unlikely, but is it really so unimaginable others will end up seeing you in the same way? That they already do?"

"It feels like… it feels like you're taking this in such stride, though," Aguri responds. "I mean… look at how well you're doing with the students. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting in the back of the class afraid. And it's not like… it's not like the attractiveness thing is the same, anyways."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Don't get me wrong," Aguri says. "You're… different than before, but you're not like me."

"Last I checked I looked rather like an emoticon printed stress ball. The bar's not as high as you think."

"At least that's cute," Aguri says. "You're… cute. And I'm not."

"Now I'm not sure that's true."

"Yes. It is. It's… pretty objective," Aguri replies. "Sure… you don't look like a person, but you're approachable. Meanwhile I'm- ...I just feel so bad to look at. And that's not Yanagisawa talking. That's a conclusion that I came to on my own." A frown. "I already wasn't a very pretty person before, and now it's even worse. It's a miracle when someone can even bear to even look at me. No-one's going to find me pretty at that rate."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it, though?"

And… she'll stand by that. She objectively thinks Korosensei is cute. Sure, he's not the charming prettyboy he was before, but he radiates softness. Meanwhile she…- she has nothing. Carmine veins. Haggard face. If she saw herself she'd run.

"No. It's not," Korosensei responds firmly. He sounds almost mad. And although that anger quickly fades, his certainty does not. "And I know that. Because I do."

He pulls Aguri in close. Never once stops walking… but slows, somehow as he presses her shoulder into his.

"I do. I am… not willing to be in a relationship with you right now, but want you to know that you are attractive in my eyes, and you never will stop being. You are the most wonderful person to me."

"How?" Aguri asks, voice quiet. He's warm to the touch, but somehow his presence is smothering. She's not sure whether she wants to collapse into his embrace or pull back with disgust. "...How am I beautiful like those other women? Objectively I'm not like them, and I know that you know that too. You can say all of these kind things, but what do they mean without examples?"

Ultimately it's her who comes to a standstill. She stops walking. Frowns and looks down into his eyes.

Korosensei looks back up at her, unphased. His conviction still not wavering, he says "...You want examples? Okay."

He turns slightly.

"Truly, I am not the one who should have bearing on your self-worth. That said, however… I understand the place you are in right now, and because of that, I will share the following with you. However, I do want you to know, Aguri… these things I am saying: they are things I can only hope to hear from you one day, too. And I say them out of a hope to foster them in yourself."

"You are… one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Not only in your personality… your overwhelming kindness, and your belief in others, but yes, in your appearance as well." A step closer. "You have in no way been ruined. Do you hear that? You have not been ruined."

"You were beautiful before, and you are beautiful now. You have beautiful eyes… gentle hands, and there are things- yes, even new things… that I am enamored by. The hue of your tentacles shift when you're happy or sad… and each time I'm left a little bit in awe. Regardless of what's happened to you, you are and always will be beautiful to me. And while yes, I've been attracted to other women before…"

"None of them I have loved like you. I know it may seem that way… and me 'moving on' so quickly must have hurt your feelings. But I promise you, Aguri, I never forgot about you… and I never fell in love with anyone the way I did you. Yes, Irina and others are pretty… but you are the one who changed my life. You are the one who had faith in me. And no-one could ever mean to me what you did back then." A pause. "...What you still do."

"Yes… it feels a little strange to say. But… even as your friend, and even as someone who should in no way define your self-worth, you're beautiful to me, inside and out."

Aguri stares. She hadn't realized it up until now, but they've come to an overpass. Her gaze drifts down towards the ground, and she feels her heart flutter as her hands start to shake. Slowly, tears trail down her face once more… and she lets out a pathetic, desperate-for-air, little hiccup.

It's so… so hard to believe those kinds of words. Those kind- unfathomably kind words. After so long in the lab… she resolved herself to never hearing anything like that again… and yet- yet-

(He's defying her expectations, even now.)

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asks, stifling a sob. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner? I needed to hear that so badly. Even now I'm not sure that it's real!"

"Aguri," Korosensei says, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I did not want to mislead you. Now would be the worst time possible to get into a relationship with you." A pause. "I understand now that you needed reassurance… but at the time I was so, so scared of coaxing you down the wrong path."

"I do not want you to forget what else is beautiful in this world. I am happy to be here for you. But there is so, so much more for you to treasure. Allowing you to become codependent would be a crime. Especially when there's so much else worth fighting for."

"I am but a small thing to you. Is that understood? I know it might not feel that way right now, but I am. You have a sister who loves you more than anything… students who want to see you do well. We live in a beautiful place. And I do not want to be your sole reason for getting out of bed in the morning."

"Until… you're in a place where you can treasure those things, I don't want to become a distraction. That is all. And so perhaps on the day when you can view things differently, then we can talk about this again."

It weighs heavy on Aguri's heart... in some ways makes her feel bad for doing so badly. All the same, though, his words have merit. And she thinks she gets what he's saying. Especially when they're backdropped against a beautiful sunset.

She hadn't noticed it either up until now, but the sun's peeking down over the horizon. Washing the sky in an arrangement of gorgeous colors, the clouds glow red… yellow, a bright orange- and the rays feel warm on her face.

Unconsciously, she takes a step closer. Korosensei places a hand on her arm as she looks out over the overhang.

She'd… forgotten how much she missed this, too. Isn't that another thing she clung to in that terrible place? It wasn't just the memory of Reaper. It was the memories of sunsets, rainstorms, fresh snow and springtime that also gave her strength. How could she ever disregard that?

She leans on his side, slightly, as they take in the view. Korosensei freezes a bit, but he doesn't pull away.

"Alright," Aguri says, wiping at her eyes. "Alright. I think I get it. I'll give you time, and I'll give myself time, too. I'll… try my best to see what you see." A pause. "Both in the world and in myself. Even if that might be hard."

"Good," Korosensei replies. "And… I'll try my best, as well. Both to not mislead you more in the future and to try and respect your feelings."

"...I appreciate that."

"I hope that by the time that this is all done I can see you teaching again. I know that you're scared… but I think that the kids would really appreciate it."

"I dunno about that," Aguri replies. "More than anything I'm scared of scaring them."

"You wouldn't," Korosensei replies. "And besides… it wouldn't have to be anything big at first. You could start small."

"Mmm."

"You'd do a great job."

Aguri's quiet for a long moment. Shifting, slightly, she asks "...You really think that?"

"Of course," Korosensei says, almost curt. "You're the one who inspired me to want to teach. I'd never doubt in your potential." A pause. "Of course… if you truly don't want to, I won't push. But it always struck me as something you were passionate about."

"I was."

Korosensei steps in slightly closer. Squeezes her arm.

"He doesn't deserve to take that from you."

"Doesn't mean he's not still capable of it."

"...Yeah," Korosensei says. "I know. But all the same, I mean everything I've told you today. About you teaching and… all of the rest. That comes from the heart."

"Everything?" Aguri asks. "You meant all of it?"

"Yeah," Korosensei says. "...All of it."

Some part of her is tempted to ask again if he meant what he said about her as a person. About her personality and even more than that her body. But her mouth runs dry, and when she doesn't speak, this time it's not out of fear.

She… believes him. She believes what he said about her being kind and, god forbid- beautiful. She's still not sure she can see it herself, but… that's okay. At least she knows that he believes it… and that the other people around her do, too.

('Your students aren't going to be scared of you.' 'Your sister still loves you.' 'They're not going to run from you. They're not.')

She wonders if it's a little ingenious… letting him be the one to tell her that. Isn't this the kind of thing he wanted to avoid in the first place? All the same… she resolves herself to try and think it on her own, even if she needs to hear it out of another person's mouth at first.

...Even if she feels tired to the bone right now.

"And after this conversation, I'll do my best to be more open about all of this," Korosensei says. "I apologize for not breaching the topic earlier. I'm aware many things have… changed about you, but avoiding that is going to fix none of it. We need to begin to find ways to adapt." A pause. "We need to begin to find ways to find light in this darkness."

"No," Aguri says. "It's okay. I get it. I probably wouldn't have wanted to breach the topic either." She gives a frown. "It probably hurt you a lot to think about what happened in there. And it's not like there are many good conversation openers for that sort of thing."

She's quiet for a moment.

"I mean… what do you even say? 'I've noticed the way you carry yourself is different now and I'm scared you're insecure or think you're a monster?' That's some way to open up to a girl who already tried to make out with you."

"Well… no, that probably wouldn't be the best way to go about it," Korosensei admits. "But I could have started with a 'you're not' and a 'don't worry. I've felt the same way.'"

Aguri frowns. Brow furrowed, she asks. "...You have?"

"Of course I have," Korosensei replies. "My body's changed a lot, too. I try not to let it get to me, of course… but you can only imagine my surprise when you called me cute! Now that was unexpected. I am much more used to hearing 'goofy' and 'a little bit frightening.'" He lets out a laugh- shakes his head. "That's very much intended, of course. I'd like not to appear human to the students. But all the same, it was a nice surprise."

"You are," Aguri says, voice surprisingly firm. "...You are a human, and you're cute, too."

Korosensei's quiet for a moment. Finally, cracking a grin, his face flushes pink, and he lets out another laugh.

"Well," he says. "I'm most flattered to hear that. And I must return the compliment. You are, too."

Aguri opens her mouth to speak, but Korosensei beats her to it.

"And yes," he says. "I mean that. So there's no need to ask."

Aguri relaxes slightly, nodding. "Alright," she says. "...Got it."

She stands there in Korosensei's embrace- treasuring it. She's got a feeling that nothing like this will be happening again in the future, but… that's okay. At least she can have it for now.

"Though… I do have a question, actually," Korosensei admits. "About your body. And. Erm- how cute you've gotten."

Aguri frowns. Tilting her head, she asks "What is it?"

Some part of her is anxious… but Korosensei doesn't sound malicious. Instead, intertwining his fingers with hers, there's a kindness when he speaks.

"Just how much of that time did you spend thinking of me?"

"...Pardon?"

"In the lab. When you were trapped there. Just how much thought did you dedicate to me?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well…- and I apologize if this is intrusive, but I just couldn't help but notice that you almost resemble how I did back then. When I broke out. Do you think that you took inspiration from me? Consciously or unconsciously?"

"Oh," Aguri says, gaze drifting down to her hands. "I hardly know. I did spend a lot of time thinking about you… enough to formulate a dream life, but I don't know if that has anything to do with this. You were in there for longer. Maybe the mutations just manifested differently."

"Perhaps," Korosensei replies. "But all the same… I do think that that's something worth dwelling on."

"What? That I copied you?"

"No, not that you copied me," Korosensei replies. "What you thought of me back then. When I was breaking out of the laboratory. You didn't think I looked like someone scary, did you?"

"Someone scary?" Aguri asks. "...No, of course not. You just looked like… like-"

She starts to drift off. Eyes locked on the back of her hands she finds the resemblance uncanny. Gnarled fingers and bursting veins… they suddenly make sense. And it's almost like she can look at them without flinching.

"Like?" Korosensei asks.

"...Like someone who needed help. That's all."

Of course… the things Korosensei did were scary, but she was never scared of him, and especially not of the way he looked. She'd just wanted him to stop hurting people. And she'd just wanted him to stop hurting himself. He'd seemed like he was suffering so much.

"Exactly. And there's nothing wrong with needing help, now is there? Remember that next time you look in the mirror and start to feel bad. There is nothing wrong with not being better yet. That is a fact that you taught me. Just give yourself time. I promise that things will work out."

"And... for the record," he continues. "Try not to get too embarrassed by taking some inspiration from me. I took some inspiration from you, too." He turns… gives a knowing smile. "Yellow was never my favorite color before, after all."

At first, Aguri doesn't get it. Yellow's not her favorite color either, is it? And so… what is Korosensei talking about, then?

And all at once, it hits her.

Her reflection- she can catch it in the shine of his eyes. And there, in the sunset, she makes out her own golden gaze. She freezes… takes a step back.

And so that… that's why-

(Suddenly she's blinking back tears.)

It's really nice to think that she hasn't been forgotten about, either.

Some part of her is tempted to throw herself onto Korosensei. Overwhelmed by the sheer feeling of love she takes a breath so deep it makes her whole body shake. Just barely, she holds herself back. Wipes the tears from her eyes and whispers "Thank you. Thank you so much."

She knows why this means so much to her... that not being forgotten about. All she's wanted all her life is just to be cared about. But what's important to remember is that she is cared about, and regardless of where their relationship stands, that is never going to stop being true. It's written into their flesh.

As such, she doesn't leap. She doesn't even reach out to grip Korosensei's hand. Instead, utterly still, she basks in the sunlight… and treasures the simple warmth of being held once again.

"I'm… sorry for springing all of this on you," she says. "I know it must have been a lot to take in, and it really wasn't my place… but I just got so worried. I'm sorry that I was jealous. It was wrong of me to try and monitor your relationships… especially when we're not even dating."

"No. No. It's alright," Korosensei says. "I get it. I really do." A pause. "...Yanagisawa cheated on you a lot, didn't he? Of course it stung when you saw me pursuing people… regardless of the actual context of our relationship. We almost had something."

'...Almost.' There it is. That word. Somehow it doesn't sting as much as she expected it to, though. Being held by Korosensei she feels something that she knows she wasn't jealous of… something that she's sure Irina never got from Korosensei, and that no-one else ever has: a sense of true, unconditional love. That's theirs and theirs alone.

And that can make even 'almost' hurt a little bit less.

"Yeah," she says, letting out a sigh. She gives a small smile. "We sure did."

"And… for the record," Korosensei says. "That's not a 'no.' It's just a 'not yet.'"

"And so you mean there's still a chance?"

"Perhaps," Korosensei responds. "I'm not making any promises. I don't want that to be what you hinge your future on, either. But… it's a nice thought. And I do have feelings for you. I'd just like to wait. Make sure that those feelings are genuine before we take them any further. It'd break my heart too if this thing fell through." A pause. "I don't want to be someone you love just because you feel like you have to."

"No…" Aguri replies. "You'd never be. If anything, I'm just worried about becoming that person to you."

"No. No. Of course not," Korosensei reassures. "Again: it's not about a lack of things. It's about… not wanting to take advantage of you. That, and not wanting to make you forget what you already have. You are so, so loved, regardless of what you can get from me."

And… Aguri knows that. She doesn't like to think she'd forgotten about her sister and the students, but then again what does she know? He's right in that she's been hinging a lot of her self-worth on him.

And besides, even if he doesn't love her in that way- can't right now or whatever... she still feels loved by him plenty all the same.

"I'm sorry if it felt like I was trying to guilt you into a relationship," she says. "I didn't mean to cry in front of you like that. It just got to be too much."

"Don't sweat it," Korosensei responds. "...I wouldn't have pulled you aside like this if I didn't want to have the conversation. And I know that that was not your intent. You're just going through a lot right now… and I understand that some things can seem a lot more important than they really are."

"Nevertheless," he continues. "I will try to cut down on the… porn. I already intended to stop coming onto people, but I did not realize that that was hurting you too on top of that."

"No," Aguri says. "...You don't have to do that. I get it. You're a person. Of course you have needs. I'm not going to cut you off from that, especially considering we're not even in a relationship. I don't think it'll hurt as much now that I understand the full context. If anything… I- I think what I'd like most is just for you to say stuff like what you said earlier every once in a while."

"Earlier?"

"All those nice things. About my personality- the way I look. I know I shouldn't be depending on it, and I'll try not to, but that really meant a lot to hear. It'd make my day if you could remind me of that stuff every once in a while." A pause. "...I don't want to forget."

Korosensei's quiet for a moment. Squeezing her hand with one tentacle and readjusting his tie with the other, he says "...I believe that I can do that. However, Aguri: I'd like you to do the same."

Aguri blinks, dumbfounded.

"Compliment you?"

"Compliment yourself," Korosensei clarifies. "As… sweet as it was being called 'cute,'" he muses, face going a pale pink "I believe that you don't say those sort of things about yourself enough. Next time you feel bad about yourself… think that you're insecure or selfish or ugly, I want you to refute that. Think something kind about yourself in retaliation, even if you don't believe it at first."

"Building up that kind of thinking can be hard…" he admits. "But I promise you it'll be worthwhile. And all I can ask is for you to see yourself with kinder eyes."

Aguri frowns. She knows that it shouldn't feel like an overwhelming request… but it still makes her hands sweat. Thinking something kind? About this? Where is she even supposed to start?

All the same, though… she knows that he believes she can do it. And even if that's not a lot, that's somewhere to start with positive thinking at the very least.

(That's somewhere to start with regards to seeing herself.)

"...Yeah," she says. "I'll try."

Korosensei gives a smile. Clutching her hand tight he says, "We'll get through this together, I promise. I know things may seem overwhelming right now, but… just give yourself some time. And if you'd like another reminder, then here it is again: I am happy that you are alive, and I never once moved past your loss. You are beautiful inside and out… and I just want to see you do well."

"You're kind, sweet, smart… and you are so goddamn strong. Your hands are gentle. Your eyes are kind. Your tentacles are adorable, and of course…" A long pause. He gives a shit-eating grin. " Thereareafewotherthingsworthcommentingontoo."

Aguri blinks. At first, she doesn't really get it. But as her gaze drifts downwards and Korosensei's does too she lets out a small- mortified sort of gasp. Stumbling backwards, she covers her chest with her arms and sputters.

"You can't- you can't seriously mean- my… my... my- OH MY!"

Her face flushes bright red. She hadn't really been thinking about it earlier… but there's the Korosensei that the students and Irina had been talking about. So much for being a gentleman! Degenerate is right! And towards her of all people!

In any other scenario the playful - okay, no, just outright - misogyny would probably make her uncomfortable… but in this situation, she just laughs. She can't help it. Disgusting as it is, somehow she's just relieved to be perceived that way, too.

"You didn't mention that one earlier!" she snickers, covering her face with her hands. "What is wrong with you!?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Korosensei cries, hurrying to her side. "You know I didn't mean it in that way! I simply thought it would be reassuring to… to- I respect women, I swear! The only reason I didn't mention it earlier is that I felt it'd be inappropriate!"

"It's still inappropriate, weirdo!" Aguri replies, barely able to suppress a grin. "Did no-one ever teach you any manners?"

Korosensei looks like he feels legitimately bad for a second... but just as soon as he realizes she's laughing that shame dies down. His face remains a bright pink, of course, but it's much more out of embarrassment than any sort of guilt.

"I'm afraid not," he murmurs, shaking his head. "Nevertheless, I'm glad I was able to make you laugh… even with my boorishness." He pauses… gives a grin. "It's been far too long since I've gotten to hear the sound of that."

She can tell he's redirecting. It's the only thing he can do in a scenario like this. But nevertheless, Aguri cracks her own grin in response, and before she even knows what she's doing she's buried her face in his shoulder… wrapped him in a hug.

Korosensei tenses slightly- startled… but soon relaxes. His hands hover up to her back.

"...I'm sorry," she says. "I know you want to take things slow. I just… really wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Korosensei asks. "That was most inappropriate…"

"For caring about making me laugh. For seeing me like you see everyone else."

"Oh Aguri…" Korosensei says. "I see you as even more than everyone else. It's okay just this once."

She's not sure how long they stand there hugging each other. She just knows that she's the first to pull away. When she finally steps back Korosensei admits that it's probably time they get going home. It's almost dark out. Is that all she wanted to talk about? Or was there something more?

"...That's all," she says. "At least, I think."

"Very well then. And remember: if anything comes up in the future, you know that we can always talk again like this. As many times as you need to."

"Yeah," she says. "I know."

When they get back home Korosensei ducks out to make dinner. Akari shoots Aguri an incredulous look, asking what they talked about.

"That wasn't just a walk, was it? You look like you've been crying."

"Yeah," Aguri admits. "But not the bad sort of cry. We just… discussed some stuff we'd been avoiding."

"He better not have hurt your feelings," Akari warns. "He's acting like he's in the doghouse. Don't tell me he said something rude."

"No. Not at all," Aguri reassures. "He's not in trouble. I think that… he just wants to do something sweet."

Akari looks like she doubts that for a minute, but when she catches Aguri's cheeks flush red she gives a satisfied grin and leans back. "Alright," she says, nodding. "I'll take your word for it."

Aguri's… thankful that she's getting a break for once. As touching as it is to see her sister work so hard for her, she doesn't want to see her burn out, either. She hopes that she'll be able to pick up chores like this again soon. But until then she knows that Korosensei will carry some of the weight.

('Remember,' he says. 'Just take your time.')

Ultimately he makes rice and fish. They eat in relative silence, but it's not the bad sort. Some of the tension has faded between the three of them. Akari's not leaping down Korosensei's throat anymore… and while what Aguri and Korosensei have isn't the same, it's something closer to before. There's no more time to pretend.

After dinner, he takes her over to her room. Aguri hugs Akari goodnight and tells her to get some rest. Then, hand in hand with Korosensei, she goes to get some rest herself. It's still early, but she feels exhausted.

On the bed he has another surprise waiting for her. There's a pile of her shirts, all fixed up good as new.

"I had some extra time while making dinner," he admits, sort of sheepish. "I'd figured I'd get to work on reshaping them. I'm almost done."

Quietly, Aguri picks up a shirt. Looking at it cautiously… she takes the design in.

It's still as silly as the rest of them. "I Marinate Clowns," it says, emblazoned with a picture of a possum. She gives a snort, unimpressed, almost… as she rolls her eyes.

Despite herself... her mind wanders back. And she's wearing a shirt just like this in the lab. Yanagisawa isn't insulting her this time. Reaper's gawking at her. And in his own way, he's insulting her, too.

"What is that!?" he demands, utterly dumbstruck.

"My T-shirt! And it's fashionable!" Aguri responds, giving a gasp. "Don't tell me you don't like it!"

Reaper gives a frown… tilting his head. His lip twitches slightly, but all the same, she hears him let out a deep chuckle, and ultimately he simply nods.

"Very well then," he says, never once letting go of the glimmer in his eyes. "I think I understand now."

(She's capable of making him laugh, too.)

Korosensei watches her… steepling his fingers as he takes a step closer.

"What do you think?" he asks. "Do you like it?"

Aguri pulls the shirt in close to her chest… buries her face in it. Smiling, slightly, she says "...I love it."

"Good," Korosensei responds. "You almost had me worried there for a moment. Want to try it on?"

Aguri nods. Korosensei looks away as she gets dressed. Turning back and covering his face with his hands, he tells her to just let him know when she's done. Finally, she manages to tug the shirt on over her head… and he turns back around to face her.

"Looking good," he says, face still bright yellow. "I'm glad I was able to cheer you up."

And for a second… she is. But as Aguri's gaze drifts back over to the mirror some of that confidence fades.

There it is again… that voice. She can hear Yanagisawa calling her terrible- ugly.

("You'll never be what you were back then.")

'No,' she thinks, eyes narrowing slightly. 'Anything but this. Please not now.'

(The voice doesn't fade.)

And when she returns to Korosensei's side, she asks him something that she knows she probably shouldn't.

"...Do you think that… we'll ever go back to normal?"

"Back to normal?" Korosensei asks, voice quiet.

"Yeah," Aguri says. "Like we were before."

She… sincerely doubts it. From the way that Korosensei talked about it it sounds like what happened to them was permanent. But all the same… she feels like she'd be letting Yanagisawa win- utterly humiliated if all of her life became normalized around becoming this. This can't just be her future, can it?

"Well…" Korosensei says. "I'm not quite sure. It's too early to give any concrete answers on that sort of thing. I still need to look into it more. Why? Is it bothering you?"

Aguri gives a shrug. She doesn't want to say yes, but she has a feeling that he knows anyways.

He steps in closer… places a hand on her shoulder.

"Well, as I told Akari, I'll do everything in my power to help out. I can't make any promises, but..." a pause. "I'll do whatever I can."

It's not a 'yes,' either. It's something closer to an uncertain 'no.' But of course he doesn't say that. Instead… simply standing by her quietly, he shakes his head.

Aguri frowns.

"You… said you weren't done yet, right? Can you leave one normal? Just in case?"

It takes Korosensei a minute to process what she's talking about. Eyes flickering down towards the shirts he asks "You mean these?"

"Yeah," Aguri says. "...I appreciate the surprise. I really do. But I also need something to aim for, you know?" A pause. "...I don't want to give in just yet."

"Alright," Korosensei says, meandering over to the drawer. He plucks a shirt out… places it to the side. "One left normal. Just in case."

It's funny. Despite his smile, he somehow looks downtrodden. Aguri hopes that she hadn't hurt his feelings. It's not that she wanted his talk not to help. It's just these things… these things…-

They take time, right?

Korosensei doesn't tell her that they do. At least not vocally. But when he turns back towards her his expression softens slightly. And he seems to say that baby steps are alright.

The two of them get into bed. And as the wind outside blows gently… as they lie in bed not together, but close all the same… Aguri stares at her reflection in the window.

For just a split second her face flushes blue. Her cheeks… tentacles… overtaken by the sorrowful hue. And she feels bad for herself. But staring out that window and looking into her own golden eyes she remembers what it is that Korosensei said about the way she expresses herself sometime earlier today.

'It's… cute.'

She can't believe that she almost forgot. She was supposed to compliment herself when she felt this way. And as such, she repeats that again and again.

'He thinks it's cute, at the very least.'

And her face flushes pink… a bright yellow.

Ultimately, she drifts off to sleep. And snoring gently, she lets the smell of the shirt hang in the air.