Chapter Four

Awake


That was the routine for the next two days – I woke up, had a swim, trained with Leli and Cullen for two hours, made rounds; I helped Cullen in whipping his men into shape. He and I would demonstrate moves. I knew Maxwell woke up a bit ago – he was talking with Leli and Cass in the Chantry. I saw Fergus and two others riding up, but pretended not to notice as I turned to Cullen.

"Recruits – watch and learn. Cullen, lose the coat and fight me."

He looked surprised but did as I said. I yanked off my shirt so I was in my sports bra and leggings. No shoes, no hand wraps and nothing else other than a hair tie.

Cullen made the first move, coming at me. I used a move my old friends' grandfather taught me; one leg out, grab the forward hand and flip over the leg. He caught himself and went to kick out.

As we sparred, I kept an eye on Fergus. He was 6'1 with cropped black hair, grey eyes, pale skin and black circles under his eyes. His horse looked worn out.

His moves had gotten faster over the past 2 days – a lot faster. Cullen was able to dodge a good portion of the moves from Karate – but when I pulled Krav Maga, he was more than a little fucked.

I did a roundhouse – he managed to move back just enough that I barely grazed his nose. He did attempt to catch my leg, but missed. I used his off balance from his dodge to continue into a second kick using the other leg as the first touched ground. Surprise flashed on his face as he tried to move fast. My leg connected with his shoulder.

He managed to catch that leg, so I used his own grip and twisted my body so that I was clinging onto him. The new angle caused him to lose grip and my legs settled around his waist from behind as my arms went into a choke hold. One thing I loved about sparring with Cullen was that he never went easy on me.

This man… he knew I could hold my own and sparred with me as though each match was real. It was arousing that he trusted in my skill so much.

He dropped to one knee before shoving backward – crushing me. I kept my grip until he tapped out. I let go and Axel rushed forward to help Cullen stand up.

I did a fancy summersault to get to my feet and called out, "Let this be a lesson to all of you recruits. I see some of you wavering as you hold your sword – if need be drop the damn thing and use a fist. There is no shame in fighting dirty if it will save your life. I mean it – the first thing I would teach my people is this: it may not be regulation to kick a man in the groin, but if it will save your lives then fucking do it. Moral high ground is all well and good, but morals don't apply in life or death fights. You all saw how I did a double roundhouse kick – that's considered an unfair tactic in a sparring match but when I spar with the Commander, we don't hold back. You will never learn if the person you're fighting doesn't knock your ass to the ground once or twice."

Cullen chimed in, "In a regular sparring match, I never would have thrown myself back to land on her in hopes of getting her to dislodge. It's a painful move for both parties no matter how much armor you wear."

"In fact, Armor makes that move more painful. The Commander was fighting for his life – when adrenaline is pumping, you're going to feel less pain. Your body will shut that off to focus solely on saving your skin. Greif, pain and other detrimental feelings will shut off – you can feel them when you're safe. In times of duress, I've known men to lift several horses' worth of weight. A grandmother will have this reaction to save her grandchild – I've seen this, I've done this. This is known as Hysterical Strength. This effect will usually only trigger in times where you feel that death is almost inevitable."

Again Cullen spoke, "The Admiral never pulls her punches, recruits – I see some of you wanting to spar with her and I can say with great certainty that none of you are ready."

"Oh, I don't know, Commander – Axel has a pretty good grasp of hand combat. You missed his fight with a man who insulted my honor."

Cullen looked surprised as Axel flushed, "He had no buissness saying that stuff, Ma'am."

"And I thank you – but we don't need dissention in the ranks, recruit. I can defend myself and don't actually mind people talking. So long as it's just talk and not action of course. I sailed with hundreds of men and women on a single ship for weeks and months or even years at a time; people talk – and I can give as good as I get."

Cullen broke in, "Who said what?"

I gave a playful smirk, "Some things are too dirty for a lady to repeat."

Axel snorted, "Why don't you tell the Commander what you said, Jackson?"

The 5'11 man with green eyes and red hair looked away. I chuckled, "But then – I'm no lady – I'm an Admiral. I believe he said my breasts were great to look at, but he wished I wouldn't wear such revealing clothes because no one wants to see what's between them and the good bit."

Cullens face flashed dark, "Jackson."

I shook my head, "Jackson already got his punishment, Commander. Axel was the reason he was in sickbay for the last two days."

"Why was I not informed of this?" Cullen asked Axel.

"Admiral Celeste said not to say anything, Ser. You seem to defer to her in matters of our training, so I thought…"

Cullen groaned as I smirked at him, "I win this one, Commander."

"What don't you win, Admiral?" he snipped back.

"A night in your bed, it seems," I said with a straight face. The men laughed as Cullen flushed. I glanced at Fergus and said, "Jackson, see to our guests' horses. They look exhausted. Axel, go let Ambassador Montilyet know that Lord Cousland has arrived. Did you enjoy the Show, my lord?"

Fergus looked briefly surprised, "You show admirable strength for one so young… how old are you?"

"I just turned 24, your lordship; a few days ago – the day before the Conclave."

His eyes trailed to my neck as I looked to Cullen, "Commander, I do believe our time together is at an end for the day."

He shook his head, "I will accompany you in your talks with the Teyrn. Sister Nightingale, Lady Montilyet and Seeker Pentaghast all wish to join the meeting."

"Sure – get Maxwell, Varric, Ellana and Solas too. We can have a party – I'll bring the drinks, you bring the people. I think Varric has tales covered and Josie with the food."

Cullen chuckled before he could help himself. Even Fergus looked amused. We headed off to the War Room – picking up Ellana, Solas and Varric along the way. Maxwell was already in the Chantry talking with Cass and Leli. Josie was on her way out to greet us when we reached the Chantry.

Once in the war room, I sat on the table – much to Cullens' amusement.

I spoke, "Before you say anything – I just want to make it clear that I don't think I am your sister. It'd be too much of a coincidence. I lived too damn long on my own; I gave up on the idea of family. I share a birthday, name and a few markings with your lost sister – so what? I have spoken with the Commander about this already – if you do not believe me to be your sister and want me to stop using my last name, I will."

Leliana flinched at my harsh tone. Cullen said, "I thought… you said Rule 39 was that you didn't believe in coincidences."

"I also said rule 5 was that you don't waste good things – yet you still aren't in my bed."

Varric laughed, "You kill me Waves… tell me another?"

"Rule number 7 is a favorite of yours – Always be specific when you lie."

"I… I live by that rule, actually," he muttered.

Cullen snorted, "You say you… want me… but you also said Rule 12 was never date a co-worker."

"Rule 51, Sometimes you're wrong," I clapped back.

Leliana was giggling. Ellana looked a stone throw from losing it herself.

"So… this isn't why we're here," Josie muttered.

Fergus walked over and gripped my chin, tilting my head back to look at my mark properly. I saw that he had one on his wrist. This was a detail that wasn't in the games. Apparently several families – noble or not – had these unique marks. Cousland, Mac Tir, Theirin, Amell, and even the Hawke family (a non-noble example since the nobility of that family was Amell) had unique markings. The marks were passed down through the Fathers' Genes, for some reason.

Fergus pulled out a journal and flipped to a page and asked, "Other than the mark, do you have a birthmark?"

"A fishing hook on my left hip that looks like it was seared into place. It looks more like a scar than a birthmark."

He looked into my eyes and said, "What about…?"

Leliana cut him off, "She possesses the Strength, Fergus – it is… uncanny. She looks almost exactly like Elissa, and has all the right traits."

I rifled through my bag and said, "Who's thirsty, I'm thirsty."

This damn bag had no food but sodas, lemonades, teas and such were available. Varric looked curious, "I'll bite, Waves; what do you have?"

I smiled, "Pick your poison – soda is mostly sugar and will make you burp, and it's highly addictive. Lemonade – you don't have lemons here – is sweet but very tart. Sweet tea is a favorite of mine. I prefer Green Tea from a company called Sobe. I also like the Gold Peaks diet tea – seriously the only thing I will drink that has diet in the name. There's sparkling juice – like wine without the alcohol. No really, pick your poison – none of this stuff is good for you but it taste like heaven."

Ellana chose to try the green tea, Leliana picked the juice – white grape; Cassandra chose the diet tea, Cullen picked Lemonade – which surprised me, but only mildly – Josie picked soda and when I asked 'light or dark' she chose dark so I asked for her favorite fruit. Josie ended up with Cherry Pepsi. Fergus got Lemon Coke. Varric – to be the odd ball – chose light soda with cherry flavor so he got Code Red Mountain Dew. Solas got lemonade too – he hated tea. I chose orange soda. Maxwell chose dark soda and tried to joke and say prune so I gave him Dr. Pepper.

I saw people discreetly tasting everyone elses drinks too. I smiled and offered Cullen to try mine. He flushed and sipped it, "I can see why you say soda is addictive, Admiral."

Fergus nodded with wide eyes, "That tastes… rather good. Commander, I will trade sips – lemon soda for lemonade?"

Cullen took the trade. By the time all the drinks were gone, everyone had traded with everyone. Solas even tried the teas and was pleasantly surprised at the varied tastes.

"Now that curiosity and thirst are sated… back to the issue at hand. I believe you are my lost sister. You share far too many similarities to be otherwise; the eye color, the marks, the family traits and even the birthday. And you said yourself, you do not believe in coincidences. I will spread the word that the lost daughter of the Cousland family has been found. Just… where have you been for the last 24 years?"

I shrugged, "Would you believe me if I said 'another world', Lord Cousland?"

He snorted, "Call me Fergus – we are family after all. And no, I don't believe I would."

Leliana gave a tinkling laugh – one that sent shivers up my back; it was as dangerous as it was lovely. She confirmed my words, spilling everything I had told her to Fergus.

Cullen had yet to move away from my side – he had become rather protective of me outside of sparring matches.

Fergus – who had noticed this – said, "Are you two… together?"

Everyone stopped to listen. I smirked, "Oh, if I could get him to agree, I'd say yes; but at the moment, the answer is no. I swindle goodnight kisses when he walks me to my cabin, but that seems to be the extent of our… relationship."

Cullen flushed and looked away while Varric laughed, "Swindle kisses? How do you manage that?"

"I'm not actually sure – half the time, it seems to be when I speak of how undesirable I was seen on Earth. The other half… eh," I shrugged.

Fergus' eyes darkened, "Undesirable?"

"Oh – Leliana was the ideal. Josie would be considered quite sexy. Cass has that whole aloof thing going, but she's downright hot – I'd do her. Ellana is perfect – she's got great tits, a nice ass and no gut. Then, there I am – fat, too short, Officer of a military force with a perfect memory… no one wanted that, Fergus."

The girls were all blushing and Cullen had turned redder and refused to as much as look at them. Cassandra was red too. Varric laughed, "What about the ideal man? You speak about ideal women, but…"

"Cullen is tall – and very fit. He can lift a lot of weight, as evidenced by our sparring matches. His hair is pretty and his eyes have that tortured look and are a very nice color. That scar on his lip is nice… here, look at this."

I showed Varric that tumbler post where women talked about how he could go from that glare to that sweet look in less time than it took for panties to drop.

He laughed and passed it around – Cullen flushed when he read it. "Now, of course, people vary in their likes. Some women liked shorter men. A lot of fans of this series liked Varric specifically, but he was never an option. Solas was also a favorite – many women like the whole knowledgeable thing. One thing that stayed consistent was that these men all have something… sweet about them. Cullen was the best liked, I think – there was more art and fans for him than any other potential romance. Alistair was a close second for the women who liked the warriors. Solas was almost tied with Cullen in general for this story. Though some people just liked him in a friendly way, like I do," I explained.

Solas looked amused, "A… friendly way?"

"Lethallin, surely you know how protective you get of your friends."

He chuckled, "There is that – I still find it strange that you know so much…"

"Call me Flemeth," I joked. Varric snorted. Leliana teased, "So our dear commander is not only a favorite here but where you are from as well?"

"I could talk of him for hours – but I have to say, he's better in person."

Fergus cleared his throat, "At… at any rate, I will pledge my support of the Inquisition for 'finding' my lost sister."

I smiled, "You have a vigil for the Divine in the works, yes?"

He nodded.

Lady Montilyet nodded, "We should send a diplomatic Attaché and some Templars who knew the Divine."

Fergus frowned and Cullen shook his head, "We have a number of Ferelden Officers – we could send an Honor guard."

I laughed softly, causing everyone to look at me, "We need a physical presence there to show our support – but Ferelden hates Orlais so we need people who wouldn't be obvious… let's go with the Commanders choice here. This will also solidify that we are on good terms with my Lord Brother."

Fergus chuckled, "It would indeed be better to send Fereldens' to the vigil."

"We've dealt with Ellanas' people, but now it seems Lord Trevelyans' distant cousins are stirring trouble using his relationship to us." Josie said – apparently we were having a war meeting now. I gave a soft sigh.

Leliana snorted, "There are ways to indicate our displeasure without tipping our hand, Josie. I am not saying we send assassins, but the rumor of assassins…"

Cullen coughed, "The Inquisition isn't a name to throw around lightly. We should openly denounce these people!"

Lady Montilyet chuckled, "This sort of thing was inevitable. The relations may become more circumspect if we promise them future favors."

I stood and leaned against the table, "And reward the trouble they cause us? No – let Leliana handle this one, Lady Montilyet." She nodded and scribbled on her note pad – I had made the flame burn lighter and cooler so it lasted longer.

Then she said, "Varric has requested a favor, as well – he says someone is selling forged copies of a book he has never written. It is being investigated by him already, but all he got was the name Pyrral Bhelenforth – an obvious fake, but one that alludes to a dwarf who knows Orzammars' families names. I could ask a friend in Antiva City to look into this matter, I suppose."

Leliana chuckled darkly, "If this author has evaded the Merchants Guild, the Crows might be a better choice for investigating him."

"No need – I know exactly who's doing this. Varric, Worthy blames you because of Sandal becoming Hawkes enchanter. It's him."

"Good to know, Waves," he saluted me.

"And for the final order of buissness before you go to the Hinterlands, Lord Kildarn of Ferelden has sent us a request – there are refugees on his lands with elves and apostates among them… he wants us to deal with them. He is a pariah even among his peers. I say, let us send a polite refusal and nothing more."

Leliana shrugged, "We can take advantage of his raving. My spies can harass the refugees into moving somewhere else; to win Lord Kildarn's favor, of course."

Cullen looked horrified and said, "We could just send a few patrols, but I would prefer they help the refugees, not this Lord Kildarn."

"I am of a mind with the Commander in this – with your patrols; I request a recruiter be sent along with food and tents. We can easily gain wealth, but this is a good chance to help the people and gain that influence Lady Montilyet is so set on. Another thing, have someone trusted go along with some of the gold I pulled from the ground the other day when I was trying to pull up Ore – offer each refugee a bit to either join us or leave the land. In this we help the people and take care of the request." I tried for iron and pulled up gold – lucky and unlucky at once.

Fergus looked amused, "That's not a bad plan – playing both sides."

I gave him a wicked grin, "Only against people I have no care for. Kildarn is a lunatic, and helping him would only get us a small pouch of coins… we could instead use resources to recruit people and get the goodwill of Kildarn who will simply be pleased that people are leaving his lands. Ellana, we received a reply from your people as well."

Ellana took the paper from Josephine and read it with a small smile, "You can put the Blood Lotus to whatever use, Admiral. Thank you for this."

I shrugged, "They are your family, Ellana – and you and me walked through hell together and came out alive; you and Maxwell mean a lot to me for that alone."

Maxwell threw his arm over my shoulder, "How much exactly?"

"There is a quote… The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Friendship is forged through shared experience, Maxwell. The bond the three of us share is a thick one – just as you would never turn your back on me, I will be there should you need me."

Ellana nodded fiercely, "I feel much the same. One does not go through such experiences and walk away from the others who survived."

Maxwell nodded too and Fergus said, "It's a good philosophy. Elissa would never have left Alistairs' side if she didn't feel the need to cure… whatever makes them Wardens."

"I know a mage who might be able to help with that. In the future, he will be part of the inquisition and will find a way to prolong the illness itself – the taint."

Leliana gasped, "He will? Then Elissa does not need to be out there on her own, researching this."

"She doesn't, no – but many here will not like this mage. I like him just fine. He's every womans ideal gay best friend."

Cullen choked, but Josie and Leli chuckled. "How so," Varric asked.

"Oh, he's very fashionable, snarky, witty and just… so cute. He's also a flirt – flirts with everyone though he's gay."

"I will contact her at once!"

"Wait on that, Leli. Leave her where she is at the moment. Are we done here? It's about dinner time and I have an arm-wrestling match with Axel to attend to. The foolish man bet me 2 Sovereigns that he could beat me." I mean, if the opportunity to recruit the Queen came up, sure – we could do it. But otherwise, we should wait until we had Dorian with us.

Varric snorted, "Easy money."

Cullen cleared his throat, "About that – you still have yet to speak to Lady Montilyet about your pay?"

I thought for a moment and said, "So it appears – I've just been so busy…"

Josie smiled, "I have been setting aside an amount of coin for you after each… accomplishment. You will otherwise be paid every week in a sum of 30 Sovereigns."

Fergus looked impressed, "So much?"

"Indeed – she is our most important asset, Lord Cousland. She can control the elements and knows the future. She found nearly 180 pearls in the lake – no one thought to look for anything beneath such thick ice. She is well accomplished in hand fighting techniques and has extensive weapons training – her guns, crossbows, daggers and… other more unique items. Lady Cousland is our secret leader at the moment. It stands to reason that she would get the largest pay. The amount will only increase as we become a larger force, too."

I tilted my head, "Is there any way you could just keep a tally of how much I have and I only carry some of it with me? I don't know where I'd put it or what I'd spend it on."

She smiled, "Of course, Admiral."

I wanted to ask for a lower amount of pay – but the way she spoke, I was being paid based on my actual abilities and capability. Meaning this was likely a base amount on their calculations and they wouldn't allow me to go lower but if I asked for more I may get it. I saw Lelianas' amusement – she knew I had figured it out. And from that look I knew that they had intended for me to argue a lower price just so they had a reason to increase it.

Cullen nodded firmly, "She has bested me in all but one of our sparring matches in the last 3 days, Lord Cousland – I got… very lucky yesterday."

I smirked, "I was caught off guard by the handsome man suddenly losing his shirt. I suppose it didn't help that the move you pulled tricked my brain to go from fighting to something very different. They say there is a fine line between love and hate, after all."

Fergus looked confused, "What move did he pull?"

Cullen flushed, "It was an accident!"

"I know that dear – you are far too much of a gentleman to grab my tits on your own; especially in the heat of battle. Regardless of how it happened, you still won that match. I really don't care that everyone saw my hidden tattoo. On a ship with hundreds, you actually do lose a bit of your modesty. All I'm saying is – feel free to do it again," I winked.

Varric was sniggering as Cullen studiously refused to look at me. Fergus shook his head, "I don't need to be hearing this… and you… don't feel free to do it again!"

I pouted, "But I like him – if I play my cards right, I might actually end up dating him, Fergus."

"That doesn't mean he can take advantage of…"

"That's exactly what it means where I grew up – I am actually giving him permission to harass me. Honestly, it's only fair since I harass him daily."

"You're my baby sister…"

"And I'm mentally older than you, so you can piss right off with that card. The deck is stacked against you in this one unless he specifically says he doesn't want me. If or when that happens, I will back off. I'm a bitch – but I do have rules."

Cullen stammered a bit, but said nothing. Leliana said, "What if he decides he does want you after telling you otherwise?"

"I'm a bit… blind to subtle hints in flirting and romance. He'd have to tell me directly that it's okay to harass him again or something. And with how awkward he gets… if he tells me no even once, we'd likely end up dancing around each other forever. I back down and shut down when told no – I refuse to push the issue after what happened… doesn't matter. He'd likely never get the courage to tell me he'd changed his mind and… suddenly you have two commanders dancing around and avoiding one another when it'd be painfully obvious to everyone around them but not each other."

Fergus gaped, "You've… seen such a thing?"

I snorted, "I know how I operate. I'd think I was misreading signals or getting hopeful; especially after having this talk. Cullen is a man who doesn't say or do something unless he's certain – which is why he's not sharing my bed. I was raised in a more… open culture: People sleeping with each other for one night and never seeing each other again was more common than marriage. I was never the type for that as you all know – but that doesn't mean I was completely innocent. Information, pictures and books about sex were easily accessed. Oh, I loved my smutty books like Leliana loves shoes."

Leliana flushed and laughed, "That's quite a bit of love for it, Admiral."

I winked at her, "I had a room that was just a library at my home. I had it organized by sections. I had a lot of books – it was the main thing I spent my pay on. I read everything from war books to frivolous romances. But a good portion of books had sex detailed within the pages even if they were not romance books. Here – this one is called the Kama Sutra."

Leliana took the book, flipped to a random page and went bright red. I had pulled out a copy with a blank cover. I smirked, "I think that's a new record! She went redder than her hair."

Fergus looked torn between disgust and curiosity.

"What… is that?" Cullen asked curiously.

I smiled, "An ancient text on Sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfilment in life. It's neither exclusively nor predominantly a sex manual on sex positions. More like… it's a guide to living well, the nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining ones' love life, and so on. It does have detailed positions and notes on how they work or feel. It also has detailed methods of Courtship, training in the arts to be socially engaging, finding a partner, flirting, maintaining power in a married life, when and how to commit adultery, sexual positions, and other topics. For the most part, it's philosophy and theory on love and desire."

Leliana cleared her throat, "I simply happened on a page that… detailed a position…"

I smirked, "Which one?"

The book was a newer version with added and updated positions after all, so I was curious.

She coughed, "It says… Tango, but it is more intimate than a dance would be."

"Ah, I know the one. It looks romantic to me." I smiled.

Cullen – not being able to help himself – gave a glance to the book and flushed. I knew he couldn't see the pages from here, but that wouldn't stop curiosity.

"Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Maxwell, are you feeling better from your… coma?"

He snorted, "Yeah – actually, other than occasional pains and twinges when the scaring acts up, I feel better than I have in years."

"Good – Leliana, have we heard from Scout Harding?"

"Not yet – and I estimate it will be another week before we do. I did get an interesting report from our scouts here, however. You took over that cabin in the woods – the one belonging to the old Master Taigen, yes? Well, we discovered something interesting nearby."

"If you are referring to the little hut that now rests by it, I will freely warn you that it's an outhouse with more… modern features. I don't like the idea of finding a ditch when I need to use the bathroom, Leli. No damn way was I squatting over a ditch in the woods."

"How does it work?" Josie asked in interest.

I grumbled, "Not as well as what I'm used to. I'm used to toilets that you sit on like a chair and do your buissness in before pushing down on a lever and the water rushes out to somewhere else. What I made is essentially an outhouse – similar concept to toilet and ditch mixed in one. You sit over the hole, and do your buissness – men can stand to take a leak as per usual, but you get what I'm saying. Sit down, do your buissness, wipe your ass, and close the lid when you stand so the smell doesn't escape. Every once-in-a-while you go pile dirt in there to cover the shit. Like I said – no damn way was I gonna squat in the woods – being all vulnerable at home camp like that is a hard pass. Traveling is one thing – I've done questionable shit for survival – but at home, that ain't gonna happen."

"What kinds of questionable things have you done?" Varric asked gleefully. I gave him a look, "If I tell you, make it more glamorous in the retelling."

Varric grinned wider, "Was that ever in question?"

"I ate bugs when my captors starved us – spiders are crunchy and you learn quick how to tell the venomous ones from the benign ones. Worms are like noodles if you plug your nose and close your eyes – slurp it right up and it's high in protein. I've covered myself in animal shit to escape hunting dogs; allowed my skin to burn in the sun as I walked for days with no other care than finding safe haven. I've… I've done things I'm not proud of to live."

Leliana nodded, "When your life is at risk, there is not much you would not do to live."

I shuddered, thinking of my time as a captive. Memories flashed through my brain – though it was almost than 30 years ago, it still haunted me. My only 'intimate' contact…

Fergus rubbed at my arm; I stiffened and cleared my throat, "Indeed – you would know more than most in this room."

"Are you… thinking about Afghanistan?" Cullen asked. I shot him a pained look, "Yeah – I am. I told you part of what happened… but the truth is that I volunteered for it. To keep the other women from being touched, I allowed those men to do anything they wished. I wouldn't fight back if they left the other women alone. They were furious when they learned I had been untouched before that – I could have fetched a higher price on the illegal slave markets as a virgin. They kept up their end of the deal at least."

Fergus looked ill – a little green even. Cullen said, "You got a medal for that? It doesn't seem enough…"

"No – it wasn't. What made it worth it was those other women thanking me in various languages; knowing that I was all that kept them from getting hurt worse than they were. What made it worth it was that when we were safe and free all 15 of those women were still relatively unharmed. You have no idea how deep the bonds of sisterhood run – but you do know the comradery of tortured souls and shared experience."

He flinched, "That I do… Maker…"

"The good news in all this is that you will find no evidence that it ever happened on me."

Solas looked interested, "How not?"

"I was over 30 when it happened – and as far as I can tell, everything about my body rewound to when I was 24 years old. The ink on my tattoo looks new. I'm sure you could check for certain – I have had many doctors, so I wouldn't be shy about an exam – but I'm almost positive that this is the case."

Leliana actually hugged me, "I do not know what is worse – that it happened or that your own body now pretends it did not."

I shrugged, "It was decades ago – I'm… healed and I've moved past it. Now, is there any other buissness?"

"Would you get blueprints for the outhouses to Threnn? I'm sure that could boost morale," Cullen said at once – he was jumping at the chance to change the subject, though I doubted it was because he was uncomfortable. I nodded, "That's a good idea. I have a few other designs I can float her way too but those can wait…"

Josie said, "How much do you think it would take to get Haven outfitted with these… outhouses?"

"They're made of wood – that's pretty much all. If you find people who can polish the wood, that'd be ideal – don't want splinters in the ass, you know? All in all, for a rough estimate, you'd only be paying for labor."

Josie scribbled with a smile. Leliana spoke up, "You need to see Master Harritt about proper armor and weapons too, Admiral – your… sparring outfit would not be a good thing to take into battle."

Fergus cleared his throat, "On that note, I came prepared. I wanted to bring gifts in case Celeste really was my sister… I only got the raw materials, but you do have your smith. I brought bolts of darkened samite, nug leather, Highever weave and druffalo hide. I also brought some metals; Viridium, Everite and Silverite. I uh… I also brought this…"

The ring Fergus held up looked like a family signet with the Highever Crest of laurels on it. My lip twitched, "You were so certain?"

"Well, mostly – Leliana included details about your looks and markings so I was hopeful. You even have the family crest marked into your skin."

"I was 18 with no family – I felt a connection to these wonderful story characters…"

He handed me the ring and I slipped it onto a chain before putting it around my neck.

Leliana smiled softly, "It is nice to have you officially on our side, Fergus."

He nodded, "Alistair will pledge support too; knowing Celeste is leading you all – even in secret – means that his sister-in-law is the figurehead here. Knowing him, he'll send something for her too."

I snorted, "I haven't earned any gifts, Fergus."

"We missed 58 birthdays – though it's really only 24 here."

"I was lost, they don't count," I knew my voice sounded a little panicked. Leliana spoke, "They are birthdays… what is wrong with them?"

I flinched, "Uh… no-nothing. Are we done here?"

Cullen straightened and said, "Yes; we are. I can escort you to Master Harritt, Lady Cousland."

"Ugh – call me Celeste or I will start calling you cully."

He looked surprised but said, "Makers' Breath, no – can I just go back to calling you Admiral?"

I smirked, "For now, Commander."