Chapter Ten
Tale as Old as Time
It was another week before we got the report from Harding; and in that time, Cullen and I became the talk of the Inquisition… because our 'love story' was so sappy and sweet that even Flissa sighed when she recounted it to the latest visiting noble – a Ser Griffith of Denerim.
One person – a spy, I think; possibly from the Qun – asked, "Is it true that you and the Commander have been betrothed since you were born?"
I smiled, "So say the papers that Fergus sent to us. Cullen and I met when I was kidnapped and brought to the Conclave – after I woke and helped the Herald. It was love at first sight." I even flashed the ring and spouted the tale behind how Cullen and I had the same sort of romantic sense and he'd happened to forge this one himself for his lost betrothed.
It wasn't the first time I was asked – after all, anyone asking Cullen only received a flushed stammer before he cleared his throat and sent them back to work. Leliana and Josie were also frequently asked – but anyone approaching Cass had better be ready to spar while they talked.
Varric and Blake answered the questions with flare and had a different version ready each and every time someone asked. At one point, I heard a scout saying that Cullen has literally swept me off my feet to pull me out of the way of a Demon back in the Valley… I liked that version and teased Cullen about it relentlessly.
Another version painted me as the shining 'white knight' when I shot and killed a pride demon with one bullet before it could take Cullens head – when I then proceeded to pull the commander into a kiss as a reward for my gallantry. Cullen and Blake teased me about that because – minus the kiss and change the demon – it was pretty much true.
I had to say that I had never seen such a masterful spreading of rumors – and Solas came up to me on day 4 to let me know that his people were spreading it around Ferelden and Orlais mostly. He had given them 6 versions with a good cross section and told them to make it more and more romantic with each telling. I'm sure the empress would hear the tale of Cinder-Cullen and his Princess Charming within the week.
That quip had earned me a hearty laugh when Blake walked by and heard it – he then proceeded to tell the actual tale of Cinderella to the whole inner circle (Bloody feet and crows included).
I just pulled out two books – Grimm Fairy Tales and Family-Friendly Adaptions. Josie promised to see they were published under my name and all revenue would come to me.
To our great surprise, Elissa showed up the same day as Hardings' Report. She and Nate each had an Anderfel Courser.
Elissa looked exactly like me – she was a little older and blue eyes rather than violet, but she was otherwise a dead ringer if we discounted tattoos. Nathaniel Howe made me flush – he was 6'1 with shaggy black hair and emerald green eyes.
I came bounding over, "Lis, Nate – thank the Maker you arrived before I left; I was eager to meet you!" yeah – Thedas cursing was something I was encouraged to get into so if I recalled, I would do it…
Lis pulled me into a hug and Nate shook my hand… I used his hand to pull him into a 'man-hug' and clapped him on the back.
Cullen came over and placed an arm over my shoulder before extending his hand – I thought it was adorable that he thought he had to stake a claim before Nathaniel Howe.
Elissa – obviously not up to date on our betrothal – looked between us, "Either you work really fast…"
"Haven't you heard? Fergus found papers that depicted our betrothal – he wasn't going to say anything, but… Cullen and I were already heavily flirting when Fergus came by that he sent word of it. I suppose it helps that Cullen and I share a link – he made this after Kinlock fell and he couldn't stop thinking about it; it's my dream ring."
By my beginning words, she knew at once that the betrothal papers that Fergus 'found' were fake, but she blinked at the last bit before shrugging, "Oh – I wasn't aware you knew about the betrothal. Cullen, it's nice to see you again – and under much better circumstances than before too."
Cullen nodded, "I agree, my queen; I was… not quite sane the last time we met."
"Dispense with the formalities – you are to be my brother by law, are you not? That makes you a Prince after the wedding. I know Alistair named Celeste as his heir."
"Yeah – about that… can we talk in private – you, me and Cullen? Leliana can join us too – Jackson! Get Sister Nightingale to go to my cabin – the Queen and Ser Howe will be there with me."
Elissa looked amused, "I guess we can talk… not like I apparently have a say in the matter."
I shrugged, "And Jackson… tell Blake to report to our cabin too if he doesn't want a 2-6-10." Jackson scrambled off as I motioned for Elissa and Nate to follow me.
"What the fuck is a '2-6-10'?" Cullen asked in amusement.
"It will take two healers Six hours to remove Ten inches of my boot from his ass."
Elissa snorted before covering it with a cough, "I'll have to start using that one."
"It's my favorite so I sort of shoehorn that in where I can," I grinned.
No more than three seconds later, Blake appeared with a salute, "Reporting for boot, Ma'am."
Cullen shook his head, "I think Jackson left out part of the message – Blake, the 2-6-10 was only if you didn't come here."
Blake relaxed, "Oh thank fuck – I thought I'd messed up; but with Lessie, it's best to take your punishment with a salute because it will be much worse than just 10 inches of boot if you argue."
I smirked, "I run a tight ship; don't I, Lis?"
Blake looked her over and shuddered, "I am at your disposal, Ma'am – 24/7… Lessie will skin me alive I'm not."
"I won't have to, Blake – Lis here didn't even take Alistair to the roof of Fort Drakon if you know what I mean."
He paled, "What – you slew the Archdemon with Leliana and who else?"
"My dog and a golem were the main ones in my hunting party; poor Duke had to be put down recently after getting his lower half chewed off by a wyvern."
"You… of course… I… Did you need something?"
I sighed, "We will be discussing a peculiar letter I got from the King when Cullen retrieved me from our newer base of operation… as soon as Leli arrives."
It wasn't just Leli – the whole inner circle showed up to the cabin just in time to see a steamy kiss between the bard and the Queen.
I just rolled my eyes and headed inside the cabin – casually 'building' two more bedrooms for the two additions. Nathaniel blinked, "You're a mage?"
"No," I said with a smirk. Varric launched into an over-exaggerated explanation.
Soon, we were all sitting around my dining room table – me at one end with Cullen and Blake at my sides and Lis with Leliana and Nate at her sides – and everyone else between us.
I said, "Alistair said you have a request for me and that it would be between me and him?"
She nodded, "As you are likely aware, Grey Wardens have trouble conceiving…"
Blake sputtered, "Do not tell me that you're propositioning her to conceive Alistairs' kid."
She shot him a dark look before turning to me, "It isn't the most ideal situation, but… yes. You must understand that the Theirin bloodline cannot be allowed to die out; especially not with people looking at the Couslands in anger for ousting Anora and taking over both Teyrnirs in Ferelden. It would be one thing if Alistair could claim his other son – but Morrigan…"
"Kieran won't be a good fit for the throne anyway. No wonder Alistair had to make sure I knew who this was coming from; he threw you to the wolves – as Cullen said."
"Cullen called you a wolf?" Max sniggered.
"She's loyal and protective…" he flushed. Blake shrugged, "You would have done better to call her a dragon – like I said it's best to take your punishment with a salute because it will be much worse if you don't. She scares me – and I pretty much am her."
I leaned back in my chair – crossing my leg over my knee and templing my fingers as I considered her proposal.
She was right – the Theirin bloodline was hyper-important to Ferelden; on top of that, there were Alistairs' specific wants and traits. He wanted a family – and with all the shit he had to go through, it would only be fair that he got one. But then there was Cullen – this had to be his choice as much as mine; because Cullen was the man I chose to be mine. If I'd wanted Alistair, I had no doubt that Elissa would have stepped aside and asked for an Annulment on the grounds that she was barren.
As it was, Anora was Queen for only 5 years before people were pressing for an annulment because there was no sign of her conceiving. I looked her dead in the eye, "When did they start calling for your dethronement?"
"… 4 years ago at this point; that's why I began researching a cure. Alistairs' only other choice for an heir at the moment is Anora – but by now, she's too old to safely carry and deliver a babe. She's 43." Lis sighed.
I looked at Cullen and back to her, "You realize this is something I will need to discuss at length with my fiancée. I won't make any choices without talking to Cullen about this – and if he says no, then I don't care how logical and necessary it is; I won't do it. And even if he says yes, we will need to wait until past the new year when I can talk to Morrigan about fertility spells – I want this to be a 'one and done' type deal. Yes, we will be meeting with Morrigan and Kieran by the end of the year – the Orlesian Winter Ball. If Alistair gets an invite, I would see that he accepts it… I could use his help there as a distraction. I don't care if I have to put his ass in a dress and make him dance the Remigold."
She laughed, "Just remember that he requested a pretty dress for that."
I smirked, "Oh, I recall. Look – if you and Alistair got to me before Cullen caved and started courting me, I'd say sure; virginity is so overrated and losing it to my first crush would be a great way to go. But Cullen did cave – so this isn't just my choice. Where I come from, marriage is a partnership – I refuse to make any major choices that could affect my relationship without the input of my partner… and maybe Blakes' input too since he might be part of our relationship if Cullen wants that."
Blake spoke up, "Honey – I still remember when Alistair was your favorite; I'll grant that it was before Cullen was ever an option and when Cullen still had noodle-hair in the designs, but oh my fuck you would not shut up about him and his love of fine cheese. I've seen more fan-art of Cullen and Alistair than anyone else in this world. My point is – if I had a say, I'd say go for it… if only because I really want to know if looks as yummy naked as I think he might."
I lifted an eyebrow at Elissa who grinned and said, "So yummy. If I weren't so in love with Leli, he might have stood an actual chance just based off his lovely muscles and that thing he can do with his mouth… oh yeah, it's called flattering."
Cullen and Cass were bright red – but the rest of us were laughing; even Solas.
I shrugged, "Flattery will only get Cullen anywhere with me. I happen to like the adorable and awkward man that can shoot out commands like nothing."
Cullen cleared his throat, "I do appreciate that I will be consulted about this…"
"And I am just glad you will listen to the pros and cons before saying no." Elissa said drily.
"Cullen is a rational man, Lis; he always listens to the request… before telling you just how idiotic it is in no uncertain terms and that he won't even entertain a rebrand of the situation."
Blake sniggered, "Bees."
I rolled my eyes, "We haven't recruited that woman yet… but yes, we will need to do that… just keep in mind that I am allergic to bees when you speak with her."
"Don't worry – none of them will sting you… you're too tough of a bitch." Blake flashed me a pretty smile.
Cullen frowned, "You're allergic to bees?"
"And embrium, apparently – Solas discovered that one. I'll get you a list of things to keep away from me – starting with the good silverware because I am liable to pocket it," I smirked.
Max coughed, "But you're actually considering her proposal?"
"The Theirin line is Dragon-Blooded, it will secure the Ferelden throne, and by now, Elissa is completely sterile. Alistair isn't because he's a man; a man can have kids when he's about to croak from old age, but women have a limited time. I'm young – still in my prime as a 24 year old. To top that, I know exactly when I'm fertile every third month so that will help in conception; and if we can get Morrigans' aid, we can boost the chances of it working. Now for the downsides – if I do this, the nobility will call for me to marry Alistair if I am not already married to Cullen, I won't be able to go out into the field once I begin trying to conceive, and I'd rather not do anything with Alistair if Cullen doesn't want me to at all. Just because this is the best option to secure the Ferelden throne and may be the only option to continue the Theirin bloodline doesn't mean I'm all in."
Cassandra sighed, "As much as I would understand – you just said it yourself; this may be the best option for Ferelden as a whole."
I shrugged, "So what? I have no investment in it – because the throne does have an heir at the moment and maybe I want my first kid to be Cullens' kid. I guess it all depends on if Cullen wants to be King or step-father to the Prince one day. Just because I don't want the throne… doesn't mean that I'll do whatever it takes to stay off of it. I have principles and limits I won't cross – and going behind my partners' back is one of those things I won't do. You want it to happen so badly, then you better hope Cullen is agreeable… on his own terms. If you pressure him into it, then I will say no."
Cullen reached for my hand and brought it silently to his lips. He looked relaxed as his lip twitched, "I suppose we will be discussing this tonight then?"
"We can delay our departure until dawn; it's already somewhat late anyway. Blake, you cook dinner – Cullen and I will go talk until then. You can enlist help if you need it, but you'll be walking people through how to make things. Lis, Nate, those two are your rooms – that one is Blakes."
Yeah – Cullen had taken to sleeping in my bed since I helped keep the nightmares away even when he didn't take the Trazadone. He still had them – they just weren't as bad.
I dragged Cullen to the bedroom – not stopping to care what would be made food-wise.
The moment we were in the room, the Commander pulled me roughly into his embrace and kissed me with a slight growl. My arms came around his neck and before I could register what was happening, I found myself lying on the bed with him over me.
I was breathing hard, "Jealous?"
"Very; just the thought of you… it isn't so much that I would be jealous of the king sharing your bed – I've actually slept with Alistair once or twice myself…"
I cut him off, "You have? I thought he was straighter than an arrow and as pulled taunt as one too."
Cullen chuckled, "He used to be – he got curious about four years ago when he visited Kirkwall and discovered me at the rose coming out of the room of another man. He had been looking for me, of course; not a partner. He hadn't realized I enjoyed men and women. No one thought anything of him staying over at a friends' house while he was in town – it was well established that Alistair and I trained together back in Ferelden. But no – the reason I am jealous at the moment is the thought that he might have you first. Actually, I don't mind Alistair – especially if I can join on occation… it's just that I want you first."
I hummed as I wrapped my legs seductively around Cullens waist as I said, "That is easily fixed… I don't leave until dawn – and also, I wouldn't be sleeping with Alistair until almost a year from now anyway; and only if you are agreeable."
"Alistairs' biggest wish was to have a family of his own one day – I don't mind sharing you with him if it doesn't become a regular thing that you're in his bed without me – as I said, I do not mind sharing you with the King – but I want in… it would also provide a good cover if I am with you when you visit him most of the time. Even when people take married mistresses, they don't sleep with them when the spouse is… present, you know."
"Honestly, I think Elissa would step down as Queen if she thought I really wanted Alistair – I'm not saying I do, my love. I'm simply expressing that… if I didn't have you, I might have ended up his Queen. Gods' Teeth, what a nightmare that would be," I shuddered.
He laughed, "No kidding – you didn't even want to be inquisitor. I don't mind you being with Alistair as many times as it takes to have his heir – but I want you to remember… you are to be my wife, not his – no matter how often you go to his bed, it will be me that you return to."
He ground against me and I let out a whimper, "Now you're teasing me, Commander… not a very nice tactic when I've already agreed to all your terms and surrendered the power of choice to you."
He looked thoughtful, "How careless of me – when you return from the Hinterlands, we will spend at least 3 days here in the cabin… where I will thoroughly apologize for this… torture that I am putting you through. After all – a single night won't do."
I growled, "I'd rather we did do something tonight… but I won't push."
"… Marry me – today…" he whispered as his lips pressed against mine, "I know it won't be the wedding you dreamed of – but we can do that too at a later date in a proper place… but I don't want to risk Alistair wooing you away from me selfishly to keep you all to himself."
I gasped as his lips found the sensitive spot on my neck, "He could never… oh… would never… if we're going to get married… you should go get a Revered Mother… right?"
He stilled, "You mean it?"
"We have plenty of Witnesses gathered – it would be… quite easy. We simply need someone to officiate the wedding, right? If you want this done Chantry-Style then you need a revered mother… if you don't mind the power of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, Blake is ordained because he lost a bet. He's ordained by the great state of Texas; took full classes and everything."
"… I'll get a Mother – we can have Blake do the ceremony for the larger wedding later. You're… you are sure you don't mind not having a proper wedding just now?"
"The dream wedding was never for the things, Cullen – it was all about who I would be marrying. That's why a lot of the things were simple or just added to over the years. Really, not many people choose pizza as a wedding meal, not to mention the dress being so simple and not made of silk or whatever. Most of that was just things I thought of as my favorite things and some of it I didn't come up with – some of that stuff in your journal was all you, my love."
He blinked, "It…was?"
I nodded, "I only designed the engagement ring – you designed the wedding bands. I only designed the bodice of the dress – you made the skirt. Marriage is all about the person standing beside you – not the things you have while you do it."
"… I'm going to retrieve one of the Mothers from the Chantry – you and I will be married within the next hour." he kissed me once more before moving off of me and helping me to stand. I chucked, "To be perfectly clear – you are agreeing to me being with Alistair to have a kid as long as you get to marry me today and thus get my first time?"
He chuckled, "No – I am agreeing to you being with Alistair as long as you want… You are marrying me; that's a bonus."
I smiled, "Okay – I'll let Lis know our stance while you collect a priest. Go on…"
We headed out of the room – and he didn't stop as he smiled and called, "I'll be right back," before he ducked out of the cabin.
I shook my head with a smile. The others were all looking at me expectantly, "I take it the talk went well?" Varric asked.
"He agreed to allow it… did anyone else know that Cullen and Alistair slept together a few times?"
Elissa and Leliana both dropped their jaws. Varric shook his head, "No way – Curly is so straight-laced that he wears slip on boots, Waves."
Cassandra shook her head, "You are having us on."
"I'm so not – god that is so hot. Cullen visited the rose for the Men – not the women, Varric. Anyway…"
"So where did he just go?" Maxwell asked.
"We're getting married – right now. I won't go into how we got to that conclusion but we're getting married today and for the 'big' wedding, we will be having Blake officiate it."
"Well – I am an ordained priest," Blake said casually as he flipped… a pancake?
Heads swiveled to look at Blake. Ellana asked, "You are?"
"I am – because I lost a bet to the Admiral so I got Ordained while on leave last year. If I officiate a wedding, it is legally binding. One of our friends was getting married and I bet the Admiral that it wasn't to a specific person – because the two broke up, so no way, right? Well, I lost, so it was me that got to officiate the wedding, meaning I had to get ordained. It's a rather quick process back home, and you get a piece of paper that tell you that you can do it and it's recorded so… yeah – if Lessie wants me to say 'by the power vested in me by the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you man and wife,' then more power to her – but I also reserve the right to give the best man toast."
"Of course you're my best man, Blake – I don't exactly have a Maid or Matron of Honor. But you realize that means that the planning and overseeing of the Wedding falls to you right?"
"I'll have plenty of help from your sister here. Oh – before your man gets back… should we invite Mia and them?"
"… Duh; we can't exclude Cullens' family. Leliana can get a hold of them in South Reach… make it a secret."
Leliana nodded firmly with a secretive smile.
Cullen was gone for less than 20 minutes and the Revered Mother that followed behind him looked a bit confused, "Commander, will you please explain what is going on?"
I spoke, "Can you perform a wedding for me and him? We've don't want to wait to be married any longer – we have realized that we love one another quite a bit and… well, we have plenty of witnesses here."
The Mother looked surprised, "Oh… Yes, I can do that – I just don't understand why he was so reluctant to tell me…"
"Surely you've heard about the betting pool, Mother; Cullen wants our wedding night to not be known about until after it's passed so that we aren't bugged through it. People will come calling the moment they learn we're married and I have to head out first thing in the morning – I want to make sure that people don't… interrupt us."
"…Oh… of course, Admiral; if the two of you would come and stand before me?" she was all smiles now – I actually knew she was one of the ones that would sigh over our love story each time she heard any form of it.
Cullen took my hands as I stood in front of him and the Mother said, "Now – I know you are unfamiliar with the Andrastian Faith, Admiral, so what happens here is that you two simply make promises to one another as I stand witness with these people around us; after, I pronounce you man and wife – that's all there is to it. Commander, you begin."
Cullen smirked at me and cleared his throat, "Rather than the traditional vows, I will be taking a page from your religion. I swear unto the maker and the Holy Andraste to love this woman the rest of my days; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."
I heard the girls all coo and the scratch of Varrics' quill. He wanted to play it that way, hmm? I chuckled and tossed in some corpse bride (One of my favorites – I even manifested a candle and took the ring that would go on his hand so I could put it on him at the proper times), "And I take thee, Cullen Rutherford, to be my lawfully wedded husband –to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part – with this hand, I will lift your sorrows; your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine; with this candle, I will light your way into darkness; and with this ring, I ask you to be mine."
He flushed a little – but what could I really say? I was a bit mushy and wanted to make sure I wasn't completely predictable.
He also slid the other ring onto my finger as the Mother pronounced us married – and he kissed me. The Mother stepped out not long after.
Blake sighed, "You never disappoint, Admiral – I didn't really think you would put those lines into your vows just because they were from your favorite show."
I stuck my tongue out at him as Cullen chuckled, "Those lines came from a show?"
"The ones I said that you didn't – yeah. It was a creepy movie – not actually a romance… to give you an idea, the title was 'Corpse Bride'. Yeah – it was… different. Anyway, I want the word spread tomorrow, Blake… collect the pool since I know that no one won the bet. Lis… tell Alistair that we agree – but won't be doing that for at least a year since we need Morrigans' help with a bit of it… but – this will be my kid and I will not abandon it; I fully expect joint custody and equal parenting rights."
Elissa nodded, "Alistair would have offered that – he knows what it's like to grow up alone… like you did; though I wish you hadn't. You and Alistair would have been good together – and I'll admit that I was somewhat hoping you two… well, I was hoping to step down and let you have him."
"Nope – all yours; just because you and the future… I mean, you and Leliana are together doesn't mean that I want to be Queen… though if things go well, I won't be giving Alistair up after the kid is…"
Blake snorted, "So you're going that route? I figured you'd choose Cassandra for that."
"Dude – no. Cass would be a good one, sure – but I'd prefer her to fully dedicate her time to rebuilding the Seekers of Truth. And Viv is just a no go, because mages are not meant to be leashed and muzzled like mutts. You'd think – as a mage – she might be a little more understanding of that. If we put her in charge there will be another rebellion in no time. So, the only logical choice is Leliana; Divine Victoria."
There was a crash as Cassandra fell over when she went to stand – Elissa looked horrified, "But… if she becomes Divine…"
"She will decree all members of the Chantry, from initiate to Divine, would be allowed to engage in romantic relationships. When asked, she will point to a statue of Andraste who served the Maker while wed to a mortal spouse. Love is the Maker's best gift and is infinite. Relax, Lis – you get to keep your beloved; I'm not that cruel."
Leliana sat back contemplatively, "That is a good point – that love is the Makers' best gift that is. I suppose I should begin making preparations for my ascension to the Sunburst throne…"
"You have time – we still need to defeat the big bad. It won't be until we solve things in Val Royeaux that the Chantry will even begin to consider you and Cassandra as Divine. And it won't be until we defeat the evil forces at work against us that one of you will ascend – and as I said, I plan to push for you because of… reasons. You will usher in a new age of devotion and freedoms – people will be more devout under your rule; just remember what I said about Butler. Now is precisely the time for ideals – you are not the Left Hand anymore; it's time for you to put aside the relentless killing and soften a bit… the world will not end if you snuggle a nug once in a while. And on that note, I plan to hire Bulls' Chargers."
"Wait… where did that come from?" Cullen looked thrown for a loop.
"Bulls' lieutenant – Krem – sews little stuffed nugs with wings. I want one of those…" I muttered with a flush.
Cullen laughed, "I can see that, actually."
Leliana looked at Josie, "Set aside what it will take to hire the Chargers then. I have heard they are expensive."
"But so worth the money; think I'll get to Ride the Bull?" Blake asked.
"You had better not mess up the romance between him and Dori, Blake – they are one of my favorite ships and if I have to bribe Cullen to let you into our bed just so I can kill you so those two get together, I will. I'll make it look like a fucking accident, Blake – you know I will."
Cullen coughed. Blake pouted, "But Bull is so awesome…"
I narrowed my eyes, "A-Dori-Bull, Blake – I ship it and my ships never sink."
He shuddered, "Right… Well… I mean… so…"
"My ship, Vice-Admiral," I repeated.
"Ma'am, no ma'am – I won't interfere Ma'am."
"And Josie with the one we recruit in Ferelden – you don't get her either," I said firmly.
He pouted, "But…!"
"Solas and Ellana, Cassandra and Maxwell, Dori and Bull, Josie and…; I am a big fan of those ships – you will not get in the damn way of my matchmaking! You want sex, find someone else. I'm a fan of true love – fuck you very much with a side-iron if you think you can wiggle in."
"But you got Cullen!"
"Cullen wouldn't have gotten with anyone – because Max is here."
Cassandras' drink spilled from her nose and Max was laughing as he pounded on her back. He said, "Glad I don't have to compete with him… pretty sure I'd lose."
"Nah – Cass likes poetry and candlelit walks in the moonlight; the commander can't write a poem to save his life." I teased. Cass threw a lump of bread at me, which I promptly ducked. I cried indignantly, "What? What did I do? At least if I say it now, he won't buy that crappy book of poetry in Redcliffe – he'll write his own! Shit – nothing wrong with being a closet romantic…"
Varric sniggered. I looked at him, "As for you – I still want that book; asap."
He sighed, "I still don't get why you even like Swords and Shields – it didn't sell enough for the Ink, let alone enough for my creative sense."
Blake scoffed, "You haven't told him that it was his best-selling novel?"
"I told him that it was selling and that his publicist needed firing for pocketing all of Varrics' money – I didn't tell him that it was the best-seller and I didn't tell him why I really want a copy." I shrugged.
"Wait – if it isn't for you… then who is it for?"
I clammed up, "Nope – I'm not saying under threat of torture. I've been advised that if I tell you then I get a longsword enema."
Cullen flinched at that, "Maker – who is that… no…" his eyes found Cass looking away.
Everyone turned to the Seeker as Blake said, "Oh, Yes – Cass has read the latest chapter at least three times by this point. If Varric finishes the book and gives it to her… consider it a peace offering for the 'hiding Hawke' thing."
Varric scooped up his quill, "I'll get working."
Cassandra nodded, "Then I won't kill you."
"No – but Blake is going to have a long sparring session when we get back from the Hinterlands, isn't he?"
"You did not tell, so it is only fair that I give the 'longsword enema' to him instead," she smirked darkly at Blake who gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yes ma'am…"
I stood and stretched, "Now… it's my wedding night so… anyone who isn't sleeping here… leave."
Almost everyone was out the door – Blake and Nate stayed but Lis followed Leli.
I hummed, "Don't worry Nate – my room is sound proofed so you won't hear anything."
He shrugged, "I've gotten used to hearing things on the road. Though, Commander – I must ask if Lady Rutherford was pulling our legs. Did you really sleep with the King?"
Cullen flushed, "I er… well, yes."
Blake groaned, "So hot – I read so many fan-fictions of those two together…"
Cullen stilled but glanced at me, "I just realized… Ser Howe is right – your name is Rutherford now…"
"Celeste Violet Rutherford… I like it," I smiled.
He chuckled and kissed me, "I do too."
We then headed to our room.
