Chapter Thirteen

Templars and Mages


The next day, when I came out of the tent, Varric was smirking at me, "You're not very quiet when you're talking on the sending stones, Waves."

I shrugged, "What's your point?" I was calling his bluff – he was fishing.

"I know all about what you talked about last night."

I saw Maxwell, Ellana and Solas hanging on our word though they weren't obvious about it.

"Enlighten us, Loremaster. What did I tell him?"

He almost faltered – he had expected me to say a name so that he could guess what was said. "Obviously you discussed the thing where you'll carry the heir to the throne with him."

"Uh-huh – and?" my smirk was very telling. Varric knew I used sending stones to talk to Cullen every night – he was taking a guess, but didn't want to outright show his hand.

"… Your marriage was also discussed…" he said.

"Well, of course it was – when isn't it? It's the love tale of the century and becoming quite popular in Orlais, Ferelden and I'm sure even Tevinter will hear it."

"Just give up, Varric – none of us heard anything no matter how close we got to her tent," Max sighed.

"No – you didn't; maybe because I asked one of the Tranquil to enchant it for noise cancelation after Blake helped them discover how to do that. All of our tents are enchanted so sound doesn't get out, though sound does get in. I don't want to hear if my companions are having hot, sweaty sex in their tents if it comes to that; thank you very much."

And that's how I had known from the start that Varric had been fishing. Varric groaned, "Why didn't you tell us that?"

"I was positive that you would pull this little stunt at some point – and by the way, I talked to both men last night; Alistair was happy to learn of my arrangement and agreed to all my terms and conditions."

"What terms?" Ellana asked.

I gave her a deadpan look, "I want Cullen to share the bed with him and I."

"No, really – what were the terms," Maxwell asked; was I really to blame if they didn't believe me?

I shrugged, "Well, first off – he's going to present me with a large bottle of Antivan Brandy when he storms Redcliffe Castle to oust the Mages for kicking out Arl Teagan in Harvestmere; the next thing he has to do is declare his love for me in the Grand Hall of Redcliffe Castle – because, I'm a lady and it would be improper of me to sleep with a man when there is no love involved – and then he has to put on a dress and dance the Remigold – because I really do want to see if he will – and finally, he has to save me a dance at the Winter Ball where we will dance a tango while he holds a rose in his mouth by the stem."

"… You are a liar and bad woman!" Maxwell laughed.

I laughed, "Believe me or don't – that's your choice."

I then realized that my white sending stone was lit up – son of a bitch… Alistair was listening in. How long…? How much had he heard?

I was suddenly nervous but chose to drag him into it, "Am I a liar, Alistair?"

"I don't recall the part about the dress and the Remigold – but otherwise…" his voice was teasing.

I laughed, "You did catch the part about when I will be retrieving that bottle, right?"

"Harvestmere – two months from now; I can hardly wait. I'll begin practicing my declaration of love."

"Oh – I was so hoping for a spur of the moment thing; you always do better when it's all impromptu and you have nothing prepared. Cullen is the same way – throw him into the middle of a battle and he's fine; pull him out on the ramparts to discuss the relationship and you're going to get a stammered 'u-uh, the weather's really nice'."

"… Well, you aren't wrong – when I caught him at the Blooming Rose that one day… Maker, it was like looking into a looking glass – he was so red and couldn't form a proper sentence and I think I was the same when I realized that the Blooming Rose was not what I thought it was."

"… Really quick – when you met Goldanna and found she was a shrew… what exactly did Elissa say to you?"

"That everyone was looking out for themselves and the sooner I learned that…"

"And when you went to talk to her about it at camp later – telling her that she was right… what did she say?"

"Good – maybe I would be less likely to be a puppet king that way." He sounded sulky.

"Got it; no wonder you didn't shy away from this proposal – if she hadn't said as she did, you might still be very idealistic and not at all suited for this kind of proposition."

I made a motion and we all began walking while Alistair sighed, "You're right – if I still thought as I did back then, I would never have taken Cullen to bed either; after all, I'm a married man. But to be fair – my vows said nothing of monogamy."

"That is fair – mine and Cullens are the same. Through illness, wellness, riches, poverty, and all that stuff – but not a word about monogamy. Then again, the vows from back home were catered so that men could take many wives… there was a famous King in the religious texts named Solomon; not sure how he managed it but he had 700 wives. Man must have had the stamina of a war-horse."

Varric sputtered and Cassandra choked on the water she had just taken. I'd purposely waited until she'd taken that drink too.

Alistairs' cough was both amused and uncomfortable, "Or he was a Grey Warden…"

I tripped – landing face first, "Son of a bitch; I completely forgot that Wardens have super stamina…"

Maxwell was laughing, "How do you forget something like that when you have super strength?"

"My strength is a physical trait that I have and I have extensive knowledge of my body – more so over the last 3 days than the last 58 years – but I'm not a Grey Warden and it was hardly mentioned in those reports; I know Wardens can eat like an army in one person… that was a running theme. I know a bunch of other things too – but those are secrets that I gave an oath not to spill."

"Thank you for that – I really do appreciate it. The Wardens can't know that you know their secrets. They will conscript you if they even think you know anything. Technically, Elissa should have conscripted you but you're her sister and our one hope at having an heir for Ferelden. Failing her, I should conscript you… but I can't do that."

"I'll be careful around any real Wardens that I meet. I know at least one that will be a fake but we'll be using him and the treaties he holds. Actually, he took the place of the man that conscripted him but died before they could get to the place for the Joining."

"Why take his place? If no one knew and the man was dead…" Alistair sounded both confused and interested.

"He admired the man – the man died saving him. He didn't take his place maliciously; in fact he's actually been doing a marvelous job of being the man – to the point that no one has actually noticed that the man is dead or well… not him. He's a good and honorable man and will eventually join the Wardens in truth if I have anything to say about it – which I do, since, as inquisitor, I will be taking on all the judgements."

"… He sounds like a good man." Alistair said softly.

"Did Duncan ever mention a Warden Blackwall?"

"Makers' Breath – you're telling me that Blackwall is a Fake – for how long?" his voice was stunned.

"9:36 Dragon," I hummed – that meant 4 years.

"Andrastes' Teeth – I've met Blackwall; the fake one. I had him here 2 years ago just talking about Warden things. He really is a good man; I'll accept your judgement – put him in the Wardens in truth; he's done well as a Warden already… but would he…"

"Yes – as I said, he'll be a warden in truth; and all that it entails. He will still aid the Inquisition since Elissa will preside over his joining at that time and when this whole mess is sorted, he'll be sent to Weisshaupt and he will faithfully carry out the duty of the Wardens and help others along the way. The other option I can enact is that I can pardon him. He will spend a few years after this mess tracking down surviving members of his old company to apologize for what he put them through; because he was following orders but ended up killing a whole family. He'll help those misplaced soldiers rebuild their lives after letting them have their swings. After that is done, he'll travel Thedas to give hope to the condemned and the forgotten; and he'll give second chances to those that have no faith – and this will lift those people and make honest citizens of them. No matter which route I go, he's a good man."

"… I shouldn't say this – but go the second option; release him. Wardens don't get involved much when there isn't a Blight so doing the second option will allow him to do better than if he were a Warden."

I hummed, "But as a Warden, he'd be able to help rebuild from this desperate attempt they're doing – binding demons and killing fellow wardens to do so."

"More of a reason not to put him in the Wardens, actually… with what they're doing, they could easily incite another incident where they're banned from…"

"I could tell them to get out of Orlais for it, but I won't – we can have them help us as a show of faith – as Blackwall will say a hole in the sky with demons falling out of it is everyones problem; not just the Inquisition."

"I still say option two," Alistair sighed.

"Fine; but you must relinquish a wheel of your favorite cheese to me as compensation," I smirked when Varric shook his head and the others all looked confused.

"Ah – so you know about my love of fine cheeses then… Maker; it's so hard to get a hold of Orlesian Sharp too. You drive a hard bargain but it's a deal. A whole wheel of Orlesian Sharp and the man stays unjoined… Eamon, no – I'm talking to Celeste… yes, that Celeste. You realize she's married right? To Cullen – the Knight Captain we met in Kirkwall. He's her Commander in the Inquisition. No, I won't petition for her annulment – you should be grateful that she has agreed to carry an heir for me."

I was sniggering, "Tell Eamon that Rowan will also be a mage."

Even the air we walked through seemed to still.

"I-I… I will have preparations made; I'm sorry, Uncle."

I spoke, "With the Circles in disarray, I will have a dedicated templar sent to Denerim to oversee young Rowan as well as a mage for her eventual training needs. I already selected the two, I simply wished to speak with you on the matter first – it just slipped my mind last night. I'm not the type of person to separate family – especially when Rowan is all that Eamon has left of his family now that Conor is a grown man and loyalist of the Circle."

"What are your thoughts on the Mages in Redcliffe?" Eamons voice came through.

"I plan to recruit them at some point; Harvestmere. Look – I've seen a world where a class of people were treated like nothing more than a stain and used when they were needed but pushed aside when they weren't. I'm not saying that I agree with what Anders did in Kirkwall, but something had to give. The old system wasn't working – more and more abominations were appearing due to the abuses that the mages were suffering every day; your son became one and was lucky it wasn't fully recognized or there would be no saving him back then. My plan wouldn't be what Tevinter has going either; I've already spoken to the future Divine about this too – and she agrees with me."

"What is your plan then – we will see about getting it enacted here in Ferelden; we may as well get ahead of the curve," Alistair said.

"Mages need a safe place to learn without being oppressed. The circles were nice in theory, but then they became life-long prisons where their families were torn from them. I understand the reasonings, I do – but you don't tear a newborn child from their mothers' teat and tell them 'this isn't your child'. If the Maker didn't want them to have kids, he would have made mages infertile – I'm just saying. The teat is one of the best damn things to help nurture a child – so it's no wonder that the mages kids end up on the leaner side and mentally scarred. Goats milk just doesn't cut it and Thedas doesn't have formula like Earth did… Blake is science-driven – I might get him on it. He's a prodigy; he learned Anthropology, chemistry and sword-play from a young age. Mules can't have offspring – they're the offspring of a donkey and a horse – they're sterile. So, my point stands – you don't tear a kid away from their parents saying 'this isn't your kid – the maker hates you'."

"That doesn't answer my question – though I do like your point; kids are a blessing and if the Maker didn't want mages having kids, they wouldn't."

"My plan is having a school of sorts; the templars would still be there for Harrowings and such; to prevent abominations and all that – but Mages will be the teachers and students. It makes no sense to have the templars choose when a Mage is ready for a Harrowing – they don't have magic, so how would they know? Men pulled the same shit with women and allowing birth control, sterilizations, and other such things. Women had to have their husband, brother or father sign off on such things – how does that make sense? We have the uterus – we should make those rules. No – the damn periods are not optional; we fucking bleed, a lot, and we have no damn control over that – sanitary napkins should have been free. Instead, women got paid less and had to pay more for the same things that men bought but they were branded differently. Why did we have to pay 60 coppers more for our soap when we were getting paid 70 coppers less than a man? Sorry… I uh… got off topic…"

"No – do continue; I'm in complete agreement so far," Varric said.

"Er… Schools – and that means that the kids can go home for holidays; like summer vacation when the parents need help with the fields. No – I don't think mages should hold many titles; that really would see us turn into Tevinter. What we should do on that front would be to allow a mage a title if they earn it – but not a title like Teyrn or Arl or Bann – more like a Hero title; Amrita was a mage that discovered a specific plant and the uses for that plant and was allowed out of the circle – in a similar situation, since there will be no circles, I would suggest a specialized title and a nice house or something in a province of their choice – like Enchanter Wilhelm had in Honnleath – he was the mage that helped Maric, got a pardon, had a family and then Shale killed him."

"Oh – was that who had the Golem? Wilhelm did have a family – I distinctly recall saving his granddaughter Amalia from a demon named Kitty."

"That's the one. Kitty knew Amalia would be a mage – hence the interest. But you get my point here? A house, specialized title that – for now – is more useless than anything, and maybe a set yearly wage for whatever thing they did that netted the title. The Circle uses Apprentice, Mage, Enchanter, Senior Enchanter, Archmage, First Enchanter and Grand Enchanter. My suggestion for title would be Evoker for an Entropic or Fade mage, Conjurer for a Creation or Force mage, Druid for a Primal or Elemental or Shapeshifting mage, Diviner for a Spirit or Healing mage, and then there's the Blight or Necromantic mages – I would say they get a title like Nightshade or Unliving. Arcane could be called Arcane. Are you getting all of this?"

"Yes – it's a decent plan; not only the school thing since the next Divine has already approved it, but also the difference in titles… one thing – there's Blight magic?" Alistair asked.

"Yes – for one thing, Blight magic has no connection to the Fade and is what Archdemons' use. Their breath is not a natural thing – it's magic. Darkspawn – as you know – are born from living women that were turned into ghouls, yet Genlocks can still cast magic though they are dwarven born; this is because the taint is what gives them their magic and that's why Templars have no effect on them as well as their magic being vastly different to what you're used to. Avernus in the Wardens' Peak had actually mastered the Taint in a way that could give all wardens access to the 'magic' regardless of mage status since they all carry the taint. This False calling that the Wardens are hearing is Blight Magic. No intelligent creature should attempt to use the taint safely as it corrupts everything it touches, but it is a type of magic that isn't connected to the Fade. I would highly suggest executing any that practice it as it will eventually turn them into darkspawn themselves."

Solas was looking at me in contemplation, "I agree – no intelligent creature should attempt to use the Taint safely."

I snorted – of course he agreed; I'd used his words about it. Alistair said, "But Avernus managed to live 200 years…"

"Not through Blight Magic – his age was purely blood magic. I know there's a way to cleanse the taint from someone by drawing the taint into another tainted person; I also know that dragons are highly resistant to the taint and that's why you're nowhere near as far gone as Elissa is Mr. blood-of-great-dragons. The taint can be cleansed from objects with Blood Magic – as Varric can attest since he had a Dalish Blood Mage for a friend that did exactly that. I will have a friend name Dorian Pavus of Tevinter that hates blood magic but manages to slow the taint in his friend for five years without the friend undergoing a Joining. Look, honey, the Blight is curable – but there will be a price. I just don't know what that will be yet."

Varric sighed, "Who else have you told that Daisy was a blood mage, Waves?"

"Cullen knows – but he won't do anything about it; at the moment, he's sure we're going to need her eventually due to what she's done with that mirror. She cleansed the Blight from it, Varric. We very well might need her eventually, but I'm unsure."

"Okay – so back to the initial list then – I am to give you a wheel of Orlesian Sharp, a bottle of Antivan Brandy and profess my undying love in the halls of Redcliffe Castle when we meet there in Harvestmere. When the Winter Ball comes – which I have already been invited to, by the way – I am to save you a dance; this dance is to be a tango and I am to have a rose in my mouth as we dance… and at some point, you want me to wear a dress and dance the Remigold… it better be a pretty dress."

Maxwell sniggered, "Elissa said the same thing."

"Elissa would – I told her back before we stormed the Tower of Ishal that if the King asked me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I was drawing the line; darkspawn or no. she said she'd like to see that – I told her 'for you, maybe; but it has to be a pretty dress'."

I explained, "It was before they ever met Leliana so Alistair might have stood a chance with that flirting thing he does."

"I was just trying to be funny," he defended.

"But if a man had said it back then…" I argued.

"… Alright – that's fair. Back then, I had no interest in men; or if I did, I was unaware of it. It took me all but walking in on Cullen and Jethann to…"

"Jethann? Oh, damn – now I have a mental image of a red-headed elf and Cullen…" I was flushed.

"Cullen seems to have a thing for the red-heads; Solona Amell, you, me…"

"You're a red-head – I thought you were a Blonde; they always depicted you as a blonde in the main instalments… but now that I think about it; you did have red hair in the books where you traveled with Varric and Bela."

"I'm a red-head – it isn't as pronounced as yours or Elissas. My hair is more of a Strawberry-Blonde so I can see the confusion, but it's red."

I bit my lip to keep from asking an inappropriate question. But I couldn't help myself, "I have to know – damn it, I have to know…"

"I get the feeling you're going to ask a very inappropriate question, Celeste," Alistairs' voice was teasing.

"I want to – and you know what; I'll answer in kind if you tell me the answer. Does the hair match all over?"

Cassandra gave a disgusted grunt and flushed – Maxwells' jaw dropped; Varric shook his head with a smirk, Ellana laughed, Solas sniggered, and I heard Eamon choke. Alistairs' voice went dark as he said, "I didn't realize it couldn't – yes; it matches all over."

"When I let it grow, mine matches too – but I generally shave it all off." I answered. Sudden silence. Ellana said, "Elves don't grow body hair – just head hair. You want to be an Elf, Lethallan?"

"Oh, for sure – but most women shaved back home. It makes oral sex a lot easier since you don't get hair in the mouth, and it makes it so much easier to play too… it makes it easier to wear thin-strapped tops like I like… or strapless."

Alistair coughed, "Well… now I have a mental image…"

"We can always try something later; I do it with Cullen too. It's called phone sex. Essentially, I get very descriptive as to what I'm doing to myself and you do the same…"

Cassandra snatched the sending stone, "We're going to end this conversation now."

"Call you later!" I called out before the stone was made to go dark. My eyes were shining with amusement as Cass threw the stone back at me.

Maxwell sniggered, "That wasn't very nice, Cassandra."

"I wasn't going to get naked here, Seeker… but admit it – we all know you're a romantic at heart."

"Can I use that Phone Sex idea for my book?" Varric asked with a grin.

I shrugged, "Go for it – I can describe it better later. Oh… that path… the bad mages are hiding in a cave down that way; let's go say Hi."

Instantly, the whole group shifted to go the direction I indicated.

Maxwell said, "You're taking quite well to his majesty…"

"I suppose I am – not as well as I did with Cullen, but like Blake said; I had a massive crush on Alistair when I was younger and he was just a cute and slightly awkward romance option… each romance had a bit of a symbol; Alistairs' was a rose, Zevran had a gold hoop earring, Morrigan had a silver ring, and Leliana was uh… well, she didn't have a specific thing so I always associated her romance with a nug; because you could give her one in Orzammar. She named the damn thing Schmooples. Now she has two more nugs named Boulette and Schmooples II. Alistair was my first crush – the boys I grew up with were all cruel to me so…"

Cassandra sighed, "I do recall Schmooples – and yes; she does have the other two now."

That's when the rebel mages attacked us; a few faltered when I used my new ability to draw rocks up to deflect spells, but they didn't stop attacking us. I was thrown off when I saw that the Astrarium door; I had thought that was just a rando side-quest thing; apparently not. I would do them – but only if it was on the way to something else that I needed to do. I wasn't going out of my way for them. None of them had anything I was really interested in or that the Inquisition could use.

Maxwell pointed out the 'keys' on the wall, "What do you suppose these are for?"

"They light up when you unlock the corresponding Astrarium. If all three are lit up, you'll find a Cache from Pre-Andrastian eras. It was designed by a cult; though what Cult is unknown. Things that were considered important back then lie within. This one holds a snake blade – it looks Tevinter in origin and is decent enough. I suppose we can do this one just to see if that's all that's in there when we return from Val Royeaux. If it is, then there will be no point in doing the ones in Crestwood, the Storm Coast, the Western Approach, the Emerald Graves or the Frostback Basin since I'll know what's in those ones and they aren't that great."

"And if there is more in the others but not in this one?" Solas asked.

I sighed, "I'll leave it up to you lot – I know how to unlock them so if you really want to do them, we can."

"You said they are Pre-Andrastian. It is certainly worth the archeological finds; scholars would pay a lot to look at things that come from before the Divine Age," Maxwell pointed out.

I shrugged, "Sure – why not. I know one has a pretty axe that our Qunari friend might like. It's a unique magical axe. Let's see – the description went something like 'The blade of this great-axe shimmers with energy. Each swing randomly gives off blistering heat, biting cold, sizzling static, or ghostly light. The wielder is protected from these blasts of elemental magic by whatever complex enchantments make the weapon work at all.' That one is on the Storm Coast, ironically."

"Ironic?" Ellana asked as we began heading back toward the Horse farm.

"Yes – That's where we will meet up with Bull and the Chargers. That axe has an enchantment on it that hasn't been seen in almost a thousand years… I sort of want someone to study it and put it on my guns or daggers; ooh – no, I want it on a whip."

Solas smothered a smirk, "And what would you do with such a whip?"

"… Do you want a real answer or my smart-ass remark?" I asked.

Varric said, "How about both?"

"The smart-ass remark would be to use it in the bedroom; the real answer would be to stun my enemies when they challenge me to an Agni Kai."

"What is an Agni Kai?" Cassandra asked.

"From a comic series; an Agni Kai is a Fire-bender duel that is tradition and centuries old. It is a fight for one's honor and is won only when one opponent burns the other. The outcome of an Agni Kai affects the honor of each opponent; if a combatant loses an Agni Kai of enough importance, they will sometimes shave parts of their head bald, with the exception of the topknot, to symbolize an extra level of humility after their defeat. Honestly; it's just an honor duel fought at sunset, but Agni Kai sounds cooler."

We came across the Templars soon after – really; these groups were really this close together without managing to kill one or the other? You had to be fucking kidding me.

The Templars focused on me and Solas as the 'mages' of the group. It amused me when I felt a searing pain through my body; so this was the power of a Smite, was it? Yeah – it fucking hurt; but the looks on their faces when I kept fighting and didn't go down. Solas got sick, though. Ellana kept him behind her as she shot arrows into the templars that dared to try and get close.

When they were dead, I did head back to the waterfall to look around for the masterwork materials; I did find several strips of Ironbark – much to Ellanas' delight – and an abandoned belt that I handed to Solas.

Ellana wanted the Bark for a new bow; I gave it to her. I didn't really care much since I planned to pick up the essence of perfection in the fade if it was there; if not, there were other Masterwork materials I could collect.

We made camp outside the farm – only because it appeared that Master Dennet was out by the time we got there and wouldn't be back until tomorrow.

Varric spoke, "Is Curly really okay with the King professing undying love to you?"

"I have no idea – maybe; maybe not. He seems to be okay by all accounts – even his unconscious body-language tells me that he really is okay with me being with Alistair…"

My white sending stone began going off with a soft chime – making me realize that this morning was a case of me accidentally calling him – and I glanced at it. When I answered, Alistair said, "We have a problem – a big problem."

"Are you going to tell me, or do I need to guess?" I sighed.

"You should likely be alone when I break this news to you… Varric has a knack for not keeping his mouth shut."

"Not with Waves – she has threats that make the Qunari seem tame and Sticker backs her up; he says that she never fails to follow through on her threats… I won't say a word, Snowflake. Waves scares me more than Nightingale."

"Good – I think; The Landsmeet took a vote today after I broke the news that you've agreed to carry the heir since you are fertile and you know it; I also told them that you are married and… well… One of them has been really into studying the Chant lately. He pointed out that Monogamy isn't specified at all in the Chant or the Tenants. The Grand Cleric for Ferelden was there; she agreed that it would be possible for you to marry me while still being married to Cullen. Maker, this is a mess; they called a damn vote. Elissa is officially deposed and I am being pressured to marry you. All because we know you can have children."

I knew I was pale and felt sick. The rest of the group was looking at me curiously – they wondered how I knew, I think. I fumbled with my other sending stone and when Cullen answered I filled him in on what was happening.

His first words, "We need to minimize this until the three of us can get together to talk about it at length. Why are they so insistent on you marrying my wife?"

Alistair – able to hear Cullen – said, "She's being called a Herald of Andraste, Cullen; more blessed than Lord Trevelyan since word has reached us that she had a limited vision while in the Fade and has more than proved it at this point. If she had said no to carrying my child, they might have gone harder on this. As it is; Elissa is no longer my Queen – Grand Cleric Elemena has granted the dissolution of marriage based on infertility in a monarch. I am to actively pursue you as a potential Queen despite you being already married. They've already discussed titles for Cullen! I can usually steer them back on topic but they were all away with it today. Fergus was the only one on my side – the only one. Makers' Breath; when Eamon mentioned your conditions for carrying my heir – even though I'd told him it was all a damn joke before the Landsmeet – most of them felt it was so reasonable that Arl Wulff offered a cask of Antivan Brandy and Bryland offered me three wheels of the Orlesian Sharp; they really want this to happen, Celeste. I'm so damn confused – Fergus even brought up the fact that if I married you, then we cold only promise one child was mine and any others could simply be Cullens. They don't give a damn – if we can get one, then they don't care if the spares would be from a 'different lineage'."

"Wait – you're telling me that Elissa is no longer Queen – just Hero?" Cassandra asked.

"That's correct. Oh – and by the way, Alfstanna offered to make me the prettiest dress for the Remigold," Alistair said drily.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at that part. Solas' eye said he would laugh about this later.

Cullen said, "Tell them that it will have to wait until we can meet up to talk about this in person; you two haven't even met yet."

"I already told them that. This was after we had the discussion about Celestes' reform of the Circle plan… that went over so well; and it was part of the reason they believe you will be a good Queen, Celeste…"

I groaned, "This is what I get for giving free advice… Gods' Blood – I don't want a throne. Can't you tell them that I'm a heathen and don't follow the Chant of Light?"

"Why would it matter? You could always be converted later and you're a herald of Andraste. As far as they're concerned, you can do no wrong even if you sold your body and danced naked in the moonlight."

Maxwell barked a laugh, "I could see you doing that actually – you wear so little in your sparring sessions with Cullen…"

"Once – I did it once, okay… never again. My tits felt like they were going to fall off from frostbite and my ankle got dislocated tripping on a tree-root. The matron of my orphanage was not amused."

Ellana sniggered, "Should have been born an elf – for sure."

I stuck out my tongue, "Maybe I'll do it again if you join me, Madam Lavellan. As to marrying you, Alistair… we can discuss this in person, as Cullen said."

"And on that note – how is it that you are aware that you can have children?" Cullen asked.

"… Remember the story about how I let those men use my body to keep the other girls safe from that when I was in that situation in…?"

"Makers' Breath…" he sounded sick.

"Yeah – my implant had needed replacing for a good month by the time we were brought to that location… so I… I got pregnant. The men found out rather swiftly when I kept getting sick and they had to bring in a doctor. They beat it out of me."

My companions all looked somber. Alistair sounded furious, "Tell me those men are dead."

"Dead as a doornail – I had allowed them o use me Alistair; so that the other women weren't touched. They kept their end of the deal… and when it was over, I got the tattoo on my chest. It's the only tattoo that I still have that shouldn't be there. I had more that were removed as I went backwards in age; that one should have gone too. It didn't. I suppose because it has the most meaning to me… maybe."

Cullens' voice was horrified, "No wonder… Maker…"

"Don't you dare feel bad for our wedding night – you were wonderful and patient and everything I could have hoped for. Now; if we can drop this line of conversation…"

"As you wish," Alistair said at once.

"Right – we will discuss the marriage in person… Oh – and I should arrive at Redcliffe Farms by tomorrow, my love. We made wonderful time."

"You didn't do what you did on the way to Skyhold, did you?" I asked suspiciously.

"No, of course not! Jackson kept cracking jokes as he walked at the back and everyone moved faster trying to get away from the man that insulted your honor. They didn't want to risk my ire if they were caught laughing at his jokes after Axel put him in the infirmary for two days."

"What did this Jackson say?" Alistair asked mildly.

Cullen coughed, "I would rather not say. It wasn't true, regardless and he's been mostly isolated since it came to light anyway."

"The man complimented the Admirals' ass and chest before saying she was very fat and wished she wouldn't spar with it on display," Maxwell said.

"… If I see him, I'll do worse than two days in the infirmary," Alistair said, "I'm told Celeste looks a lot like her sister; this means that at the time, he was insulting the Queen of Ferelden. He also insulted the Princess, though she wasn't named as sch at that point."

"Leave the man alone – everyone is entitled to their opinions. He just knows better than to voice it around specific people now. Jackson is actually rather witty; I share a pint or two with him on occasion and we talk shit about each other."

"Wait – really?" Cullen asked.

"I heard worse from Blake back when we were still at each-others' throats. And how does one make friends in the army? Beat each other up and talk shit – works every time."

Maxwell nodded, "Worked for me."

"Worked for Hawke," Varric pointed out. I snorted, "Anyway – I'm going to bed. If you get here before noon, I'll even let you snuggle with me before we go talk to Dennet since his wife says he won't be back until about 1 or 2."

"I'll tell Jackson to crack extra jokes," Cullens smile was evident.