Chapter Seventeen

Mercenary Fortress


I did, in fact, snipe every bandit in the fort. It was easy because the dumb louts didn't know to take cover – they instead looked around the body for whatever weapon killed their comrades. This was the result of a world that didn't know about guns. They saw a hole in the body and looked for arrows and archers.

We strolled right into the fort after. Cassandra said, "That gun is… interesting. Can you do that with the smaller ones?"

"No – this longer one has a scope that magnifies things and… here, look through."

"What is the red dot…"

I smirked, "That is generally where the bullet will hit if there's no wind. You need to account for wind more often than not though."

Everyone took turns looking through the scope that I had detached from the rifle. What I used was a MRAD (multi-roll adaptive rifle). It had a range of 1750 meters. It used .338 lapua magnum bullets.

So I had taken them all out without even being close enough to be seen – it likely didn't help that I had camouflaged before shooting too… unless they saw the glint of metal or glass catching in the sunlight, then they didn't see me.

Cassandra sighed, "These would make our troops so much more effective…"

"Not. Happening." I emphasized, "As I told Cullen – I trust you lot – I do not trust every Tom, Dick, and Harry that signed their names on the dotted line for coin. Though, to be perfectly honest, if the Qunari had shared their Blackpowder, then Thedas would already have guns. Blake can make Blackpowder – we just call it gun-powder. It's a mix of saltpeter, charcoal and sulfur from what he tells me – but I don't know the ratios. All I really know is that it burns quickly, creates gasses and is explosive."

"Sounds like Gaatlok alright," Varric muttered.

I shrugged, "Canons… they're like trebuchets but with large metal balls and more damaging – they use gunpowder." I sighed, "That's what Qunari Dreadnaughts use to shoot at ships without getting close. Oh – and I need to warn Alistair about future assassins later. It would have been information from the Ben-Hassrath, but we may not actually get that alliance if the Arishok doesn't listen to Alistairs' warning."

"Arishok may listen – you know Snowflake beat him with a polearm…"

"You know – I learned how to wield a polearm just because of that fight. But tell me – do you think he'll listen to Alistairs' warning when the warning will essentially say, 'when you wish to ally with the Inquisition, do it according to the Inquisitors' demands or your people will die because she trusts the other group more'?"

Varric looked thoughtful, "Perhaps – considering it's already spreading that you had that vision in the Fade… no, I know – you didn't actually…"

I cut him off, "What if I did, though?"

Cassandra jumped on that as we reached the top floor where the key and journal were located.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I don't know," I ran a hand over my face, "It's just… there are some things I shouldn't know. Leliana being with Elissa – Elissa being the Hero of Fereldens and Queen… I shouldn't have known that when there were 7 possible Hero choices; Solona Amell the mage at Kinlock; Surana – also at Kinlock; Child of Cousland; Mahariel the Dalish from clan Sabrae that died touching the mirror that Merrill worked to restore; Tabris who killed Vaughn Kendalls after he kidnapped half the female elves in the Denerim alienage from Tabris' wedding; Second child of Aeducan betrayed by Bhelen and labeled Kinslayer; or Bhelens' wife Ricas' sibling, Brosca after killing Beraht after impersonating a higher caste in the Provings. Then I couldn't possibly know the gender – you were allowed to choose. Daylen or Solona Amell; Neria or Alim Surana; Aedan or Elissa Cousland; Darrian or Kallian Tabris; Lyna or Theron Mahariel; Sereda or Duran Aeducan; Faren or Natia Brosca. And then the four possible love interests – Alistair was only for the females, Morrigan only for males, but Zev or Leli could be romanced by anyone; none of them had racial preference. And that is just the events of Origins. In two, Hawke could have been Marian Hawke – that was the only way to open Sebastian Vael as romance option… two wasn't nearly as varied as Origins or Inquisition. You could pick between Warrior, Rogue or Mage and pick Gender but otherwise…" I shrugged helplessly, "I really shouldn't know as much as I do – it should be guess work. Recall that I asked Alistair about what Elissa told him after meeting Goldanna? I mean – that I could reasonably guess just by the fact that Elissa and Leli were still together and she was married to Alistair. But a lot of things aren't following what they should."

"How do you mean?" Solas asked.

"For one thing, in the Canon events – the events that are said to be the real events of the tale set by the game developers – the Hero was a female Dalish that sacrificed herself to kill the archdemon and Hawke was a male blood mage. But according to both Varric and Alistair, Hawke was on the side of templars more often than not so he hated blood magic more than even Anders did. And Anders would kill a blood mage; Merrill was more of an exception than anything. Then – in other canon events – Brosca was male, but I feel like Elissa came across the body of a female dwarf in that prison, not a male. Aeducan was also male, but I heard Leliana mention Sereda. In fact, the only one I recall being canonically female is the Dalish I mentioned. So in that case, I really wasn't supposed to know nearly as much as I do. I was so confident that Leli was Lis' lover – and I shouldn't have known Lis was Lis if that makes sense."

Solas hummed, "It is possible that you received an influx of information in the fade… stranger things have happened."

We headed toward returning the amulet. I sighed, "No kidding – people walking in the Fade, for example."

"So… our little promotional lie may be true?" Varric asked.

"Maybe – but I can't remember anything from being in the Fade – god-damned nightmare demon took my memories when it took Maxs and Ellanas." I growled.

"Nightmare Demon?" Ellana sounded shocked.

I nodded, "Yeah – the demon only took my information from while I was in the Fade with you two; so I already know what happened because I knew what happened before I went into the Fade – stupid Smiley didn't think to check for that."

Varric sniggered, "Smiley?"

"That's what you call it, so…"

The smiles all fell. Varric gulped, "So… when am I going into the Fade, Waves?"

"Do you want to? I didn't plan to take you unless you wanted to say goodbye to Stroud." I shrugged.

"Wait… what?"

"Look – it's either Stroud or Hawke and we both know I'm not leaving that glorious bastard in the Fade to cover our escape. It's a hard call – I'd prefer if it were Loghain – but I'm a bit too attached to living… Fenris would rip my damn heart out if I left his love in the Fade and I feel too attached to Hawke anyway."

Varric sighed, "Broody would do worse than rip your heart out, Waves – and I don't know that I'd forgive you either; I'll go into the Fade with you when that time comes; just let me know first so I'm prepared for it."

"To be honest, I might be able to swing it so no one gets left behind by using my guns and taking everyone in the inner circle that travels with me. We might be able to kill the demon rather than just distracting it; I don't want to leave stroud because then Hawke goes to Weisshaupt and isn't from for a long time to my knowledge. Why can't that son of a bitch just say no once in a while? He's lucky he took Anders into the Deeps with him during the expedition to avoid Carver dying – oh… is Carver coming too?"

"Waves… Carver is already in the Inquisition. He joined just before the Conclave." Varric said.

I contemplated that with a frown. He was supposed to be smuggled out of the Marches sure – but in the Inquisition… I guess I always assumed he was in Antiva or something.

Cassandra spoke, "I recruited him from the Kirkwall Gallows at the same time I recruited Cullen."

I jerked, "You what? Son of a leper – he was supposed to stay in Kirkwall until the templars started acting strangely. Okay so a lot of things are off here. Where is he now?"

"We have him stationed at Skyhold at the moment; but you said we would be taking over 3 strongholds. Carver was picked to oversee Caer Bronach since you didn't know who would actually oversee it – just that Charter was a main figure there. As such, Carver is undergoing training in overseeing a keep. Knight-Captain Rylen is undergoing the training too since you said he'll command Griffon-Wing Keep in the Western Approach." Varric explained.

I shrugged, "I'm just surprised you didn't drag me over to meet him."

Varric laughed as we finally reached the area for the necklace. I gave them a warning about the demon before setting the amulet on the font-style thing. It knocked me out.


I came awake with a screaming headache, "Son of misbegotten lepers' donkey – what happened?"

"Well – we had to carry you back to camp after you passed out. You set that amulet on the alter and a demon appeared just as you went down like a sack of rocks in the lake." Maxwell said drily, not looking up from a fire.

Cass looked very relieved, "Solas said it was a release of magic – meant to knock thieves unconscious. Apparently, he's used that magic once or twice himself just… without the demon. Are you okay, Admiral?"

"I'm more interested in the lepers' donkey," Varric volunteered. I rolled my eyes, "How long was I out?"

"6 hours," Solas replied promptly without looking up from whatever he was reading. I groaned, "Fuck me running – alright, tomorrow we need to be more active. We'll double back to the damn farm for the Astrarium in Dead Ram Grove then head east for that other camp area. Fuck – last time I collapsed like that; I woke up in a prison."

"… Afghan?" Ellana asked. I shook my head, "No – bar-brawl that Blake dragged me into while he was piss-drunk."

Cassandra cleared her throat, "I would like the 9th book in that series please…"

I handed it to her – the cover being that of a hooded snake against a red background under a black ring that looked to be made of Fangs and obsidian. Varric said, "And I need the 4th book of the one I'm reading…"

I rolled my eyes and handed it to him before sitting at the fire, "Who hauled my ass back to camp?"

"I made a litter and pulled it," Ellana shrugged, "It is not the first time that I've had to do so; and we left the Halla back at the shem farm."

I inclined my head, "Thank you, Lana."

Her lip twitched, "Of course, Lethallan."

I began cooking – it was twilight anyway so we weren't going anywhere. "No one tell my men that I passed out, yeah? Alistair already has a guard on me when he comes to Haven. Cullen will put his food down and add a second…"

Varric smirked, "We're not suicidal, Waves – Curly would kill us if he knew you passed out in the field."

Cassandra nodded, "Varric is… right… Cullen would kill us for failing to protect you properly. Or at least he'd put us through our paces."

I glanced at Solas, "Not a word, Fen; not a word about this to Cullen."

He raised a hand in surrender with a smirk, "I would never, Lethallan."

"Bloody liar," I muttered. Maxwell changed the subject, "What are you making?"

"Well, we had noodles, spices, meats and other things… I'm making chicken noodle soup. It's good for sick people, actually."

"No one here is sick… are they?" Ellana looked confused.

"No – but I can't make chicken and dumplings because I don't have a surface to make the dumplings on. Pass me that bag of chopped onions."

Only two hours later, both Cullen and Alistair called me. I smiled as I answered both, "Good evening, gentlemen."

Alistair chuckled, "And to you, my lady."

Cullen said, "My love."

Alistair spoke again, "Anna is actually stationed here in Denerim so it wasn't hard to convince her to be a personal guard for my Princess and potential Bride…"

"Wait – what?" Cullen asked.

"Alistair wanted to put a guard on me and he used that voice that sounds like someone just kicked a puppy… I caved so now I'll have an official Spirit Warrior guard and a Mabari trailing me everywhere. I tried to make the demands ridiculous so he wouldn't be able to do it – I demanded a female spirit warrior in no less than silverite armor. How was I supposed to know that he knew one?"

Alistair sounded smug, "I also put out the call for someone make Chocolate Syrup for your strawberries that you also demanded. Took two hours for someone to come to the Palace asking how I knew about his new invention – I told him that the Herald that had a vision saw it and was willing to pay a hefty price for a collaboration with him. He was willing to sell the recipe and several bottles of your syrup. You have astounding luck, Celeste – to have the things you want so readily available."

"Blake could have made it too with raw materials. He went through a phase of wanting to be a chocolatier. He can't cook to save his life…"

Cullen cut me off, "So we've discovered. How did he even make the hamburgers and the pancakes?"

"He knows enough not to starve – but that only means Pancakes and Hamburgers and instant noodles. He's completely liable to burn down a kitchen otherwise. What did he try to make…?"

"According to him – sandwiches." Cullen sounded tired.

I snorted, "Grilled sandwiches – just put butter on the outside of the bread, toss it in a pan and grill it for a few minutes on either side. It's easy, but not for Blake."

"Right…"

"That's okay – I can't Bake, but he can. Want cake, cookies or other pastry goods – ask Blake; want real food, ask me. We have opposing talents and that makes us a good match – but our personalities had us clashing for years before I finally beat him into submission."

"How in the world do you two know so much?" Cullen asked.

"Honey – I'm 58 years old and he's 60. We had a lot of time to learn things. We each have at least 10 talents. Though 2 or 3 are natural talents that we didn't need to learn."

Alistair sputtered, "58?"

"Right – Earth ran at a rate of two years there to one year here. I aged backwards coming here – so did Blake. We're 24 and 26 now, but we were 58 and 60 when we were sucked into the Fade. I'm an old woman – likely why I don't mind that both of you are more than 6 years older than me… technically. Also, I did snipe the Bandits so they were all dead before we ever entered the fort; no new battle wounds for me."

Alistair sighed, "Good for that last part – but I just don't see how the age thing is possible."

Cullen coughed, "Don't worry about it – she's only that old mentally now… though she really doesn't act like it all the time."

I pouted – was he calling me childish? Alistair laughingly voiced that question. Culled snorted, "No – actually, if anything, she acts more her physical age than her mental one. That's all I'm saying. Carver acted 10-feet-tall and invincible too when he was 24… actually most people do at that age in my experience."

"I miss you… I had a… trying two days, apparently."

"What happened?" Both men asked at once. I laughed, "Well, Alistair knows that I discovered a sever allergy to Deep Mushroom this morning – it almost killed me. We also learned that a certain puzzle device is a 'one attempt' thing so we need to get all three done before leaving the Hinterlands if we want those pre-Andrastian artifacts. I climbed a large 'mountain' like structure bare-handed. We fought a few bears and demons while closing a rift. And then I took out a whole fort full of bandits all on my own from a distance. Honestly, the whole deep mushrooms almost killed me thing was the worst – I love mushrooms."

"… what are you hiding?" Alistair asked.

"What makes you think I'm hiding anything?" I asked in confusion – how did he fucking know?

"Elissa got the same tone when she was hiding something; spill," he demanded.

I cursed softly, "It was nothing…"

Cullen chimed in, "Nice try – spill."

"Fuck… alright so we returned a cursed amulet to its proper site and that resulting magic knocked me out for 6 hours. I didn't know it would do that."

"… And are you okay?" Cullen asked.

"I am – I woke up with a migraine from hell and a dry throat to learn that Ellana had built a litter and pulled me back to camp herself. The others don't want to tell you because they're worried that you'll kill them for 'failing to protect me'…" I sighed.

"They should worry about me too – especially after this morning when we affirmed that you are a perfect match for me. Who allowed you to put the amulet on the alter?" Alistairs' frown was also evident.

"Noneya. Hey – do you really have a beard?"

"I do… why? And what is Noneya?" he sounded suspicious.

"Noneya means Noneya business. And I think beards are sexy."

Cullen grumbled, "Should I grow one?"

"No – for you, stubble is a better look. But I caught a glimpse of the beard Alistair was growing while he traveled with Varric – I like it."

"Then I will cancel may plans to shave before coming to Haven," Alistair said seriously.

"You wouldn't shave it… would you? Please don't shave it!" I pleaded.

"Now that I know you like it, I won't. I was going to because Elissa said it was unattractive when I returned from Titus' compound. I kept it back then only because she left rather promptly to search for a cure to the Calling. If you like it, I'll keep it – I've grown rather fond of it, anyway."

"Good – I like it and want to at least see you with it before you shave if you really wanted to get rid of it… I mean – I won't uh… I won't stop you if you want to but I really want to see you with a beard."

He laughed, "I'll keep it – as I said, I grew a bit fond of it. Maric had one too, you know."

"I know – I'm sorry about what happened there. Is it any consolation that he knew it would be you to find him; not Cailan?"

"A bit – more of a consolation to finally know who my mother really is."

"And… I have a few statuettes for you…" I smirked as he first said ooh and then cleared his throat, "Makers' Breath – just how much do you know?"

"You also like runestones. Did you ever acquire Duncans shield from the Denerim Warden Cache?"

"What? Wait… what? It's in there – it's been there this whole damn time? I know what I'm doing tomorrow!" he sounded like he was going to cry a bit.

Cullen coughed, "Speaking of Tomorrow – I will be arriving in Haven at around 8 or 9 in the morning; when do you want me to pass the stone to Elissa for your call?"

"Anytime really – tomorrow is almost nothing but walking aside from doing puzzle piece two of three and making another camp."

"And when you get back, I will be having a stern talk with your companions about what happened…" Cullen said.

"Please don't – none of us knew that it would happen; it was my failure for not having Solas check it before I messed with it. I knew it had a demon hiding in it, I just didn't realize it also had a trap in it… if you drop it, I'll sing for you?"

"… Damnit – fine. I've been jealous since Solas was the only one that has heard you sing past Blake."

"I want in on that; Elissa sings beautifully." I was actually getting really tired of people comparing me to my sister…

My silence must have been telling because Alistair coughed, "I'm sorry – all I have to go on is that you look like her a lot and you're her sister… I should have realized – I'm nothing like Cailan even though he's my brother. Besides – you've already proved different from her. Though as for the singing, I'm told all Cousland women have heavenly voices – some say you're descended from Andrastes disowned daughter to have such lovely voices."

I snorted, "Who the fuck says that?"

"It's a fairly new rumor since you're being hailed as a Herald of Andraste that had a vision – people are saying you must be her descendent and then some people pointed out that all women born from the Cousland line all had heavenly voices and likened it to Andraste. And she was born in Ferelden. So people think you might be descended from Vivial and the Tevinter Mage she married – Regulan. Vivial birthed only women – and it's well known that there was mage blood in the Cousland line – Teyrna Elethea was a Mage and Alamarri at the very minimum so people think that maybe she was the descendent of Andraste that married into the Cousland Line."

Elethea was a mage? That wasn't in the lore that I knew… I sighed, "I suppose it's possible but I can't say for certain."

"Elissa can – actually; I was the one to accidently start the rumor. I was muttering to myself asking if this was the guardian meant when he mentioned 'the line returns home' to Elissa back during the Blight. I was just musing it to myself in the library – I disregarded that it wasn't the best place to do so. I'm sorry…"

"It helps the cause – but there will never be proof that I'm aware of. Cullen, my beloved – tell Blake that I will sing and after that, tell him Sold and then disregard his remarks about asking who the leggy blond with blue eyes is. Or – if you really want to fuck with him – tell him I picked up a woman at the cultist Tower and you couldn't say no to my pleading voice. Just to clarify – I haven't even been to the tower yet."

"… I want to fuck with him; it'll be sweet revenge for all the shit he keeps pulling in trying to get me in bed."

Alistair laughed, "Makers' Breath! I think I like this Blake person."

"Feel free," Cullen quipped back.

I giggled, "Blake and I will never be in bed together unless there's someone between us – that's the deal. We'll kill each other otherwise. So just let me know if you actually take an interest in Blake, my dear – though sleeping with him doesn't automatically mean that I'll join. That's up to you two at that point…"

"Good to know. So… I'm actually looking at this drawing for a ring here… do you at least have a preference of metals or such?"

I chuckled, "No – I'll leave that up to you; I want to know what you come up with Mr. Rose."

He cursed, "I suppose you know about the rose I picked in Lothering after…"

"How can something so beautiful exist in a place with such despair and ugliness?" I quoted.

"So you also know my thoughts about it…"

"If you had romanced Elissa and she was with you, you would have eventually given it to her."

"I can see that – but for now, I still have it. I just… held onto it. I had bribed Morrigan soon after picking it up to preserve it. I gave her a necklace that I had luckily picked up in the Tower of Ishal – it was an antique gold necklace. She probably got the better end of the deal, but… I certainly don't regret it. That rose has seen me through the past 10 years. It was even with me when I smashed the Magrallen."

"Sentiment is a pretty potent weapon, hmm?"

He laughed, "Wow – I guess it is, isn't it."

Cullen snorted, "I guess you'll always see right through us, won't you, Celeste?"

"Not always – actually, I've been told I'm pretty thick when it comes to reading romantic gestures. Likely because I never received them. I actually had to undergo training on how to act like a couple with an agent for an undercover operation because I had nothing to draw from."

Alistair snorted, "And they say I'm bad at flirting."

"Oh – no… I'm good at Flirting, I just don't realize when I am. It's being in a relationship that I had no knowledge of. I didn't know when I was supposed to kiss the guy or just hold his hand or other subtle things I was meant to do. I had no idea how often to smile or… anything."

He snorted, "So you can flirt – but… wait; if you were 58 how are you so clueless?"

"Er… Earth favored thin, tall and busty; I am only busty. I was covered in scars after a while and I'm 'too strong' and strange. Magic didn't exist there – so my strength and immunity to toxins was… freaky. I never told anyone about the latter actually so it was just the strength. But still… I just wasn't desirable. And I suppose my mistrust of men didn't help. I did eventually get through that, obviously, but in a sexualized world where people just wanted to get their rocks off and not commit, no one wanted to take the time to show me they were worth my time and… I guess I wasn't worth theirs."

"Then it was their loss – honestly, the more I talk with you, the more I look forward to meeting you. I regret that you got pulled into the marriage thing this way, but I can't really say I'm regretting it at the moment."

I smiled softly at that. Cullen agreed, "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And as I said – it's a huge relief to know you can take care of yourself."

"I think being pulled to Thedas was the best thing that happened to me. Now… I'm only wearing a tank-top and panties…"