Stop staring at the ceiling. You have duties.

Curling my toes, I sat up and blinked. I threw the blanket to my right but not far for it to fall off the bed. Shifting myself, I slid out from the right with the support of the bedsheet. When my feet touched the cold, solid wood, a sense of discomfort emerged. The feeling was minuscule, almost non-existent, but it was there. However, my inner mantra squashed it as swiftly as it came.

Nothing matters. We die in the end.

I discarded that mindset after its value was over. There was no need to prolong its use unless I wanted to end up miserable.

Forty minutes later, I found myself back in my room, making my bed. Since I finished my morning bathroom business, I followed the daily routine as my mother conditioned me to do. Silence swallowed whatever sound lived with me except for the blanket I was shrinking every three seconds.

Pillow. Pillow. Blanket as the second layer. Body pillow on top of everything else. Something about this structure appealed to me, and it converted into daily motivation to fix my bed for my self-satisfaction.

Dad did say that I'll have urges when I'm going through puberty. Maybe this was what he meant? I'll have to call.

Knock. Knock. Knock. A familiar, energetic voice came from the door.

"Andrew, breakfast is ready."

"I'll be there, Komachi," I affirmed.

"Kay."

Another morning ritual. This time, it was with a friend. It's funny. Komachi mistakenly used the wrong 'a' sound for my name and never fixed it. Initially, it bothered me because that's not my name. A couple of months passed, and I grew to like how she pronounces it. Although, I refuse to let anyone else call me that.

Stepping out of my room, I was face to face with my fellow silent comrade. We were each other's first friends in a long time and appreciated it. Communication wasn't my forte, and Hachiman welcomed it. According to him, a silent friend was a healing friend.

I didn't understand what he meant, so I went with it.

"Good sleep?"

He nodded, his mind probably recalling. "Dreamt of MAX Coffee and bacon." Not surprising. At least he's dreaming.

"Bacon sounds good. Turkey and chicken are my favorite."

"I prefer Turkey too. And the coffee?" Here we go.

"What about it?"

"You have nothing to say about it?" No.

"I like the homemade instant coffee my mom makes for me."

Hachiman stared. "What about MAX?" Honesty is the best policy.

"A bit on the sweet side. I'll have to check its information online later. Diabetes is serious."

"So you don't like MAX."

That's what you got from that? "I would prefer it occasionally. You have a unique obsession."

"What does that mean?"

"You don't like sugary stuff all that much, yet you drink MAX daily. I would say it's unique."

"MAX isn't that bad." Displeasure oozed from his words. "And I'm not obsessed." You admitted you've been dreaming about it. They appeared in your dreams. Isn't that an indirect confirmation of your addiction?

"Denial is the first step."

Hachiman weakly insisted, "It's not like that." Oh?

"Be honest with me. Would you marry MAX Coffee if it was a female your age?" Of course not. That'll be ridiculous.

There wasn't an answer.

I turned around, facing his reddened cheeks. "Seriously?" Seriously?

He covered his burning face.

"Wow." I was amazed. "If you can apply that affection to your future companion, you'll be in a marriage that'll truly last to the day you die."

His muffled reply was, "Stop."

"No way." I let out a chuckle. "I'm marking the calendar and everything. Your descendants must know of this morning."

He groaned. "You're the worst."


"What's wrong, Onii-chan?" Komachi asked, giving me my morning hug. It was weird to go without one.

"Nothing."

"Andrew?"

"He confessed that—"

"Andrew!"

"Geez. Fine. I won't tell."

"Wait! I wanna know!"

I smiled. "Get a hundred on your first exam, and I'll tell you. Trust me. It's worth it."

"Thanks! Onii-chan, could—"

"Hell no."

"Booo. Minus Komachi points." Dang. She's bold.

Hachiman rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure I can't have Komachi? She's perfect."

"Perfect? Have you been doing drugs? There is—ow!" His innocent foot got stomped on.

"Minus Komachi points!"

"Let me finish." He fake coughed. "As I was saying, my sister is not perfect, but I won't let anyone have her. She's mine." I should have recorded this. In no context, his words are positively sinful.

"Well, then. I guess we only have one way to settle this."

"I guess we do."

"I, Silvers Andrew, challenge you, Hikigaya Hachiman, for the siblingship of Hikigaya Komachi."

"I, Hikigaya Hachiman, accept."

"We shall battle later. I do not want to be late for the first day of school."

"What a coincidence. Me too."

Both teens stood up and placed their plates in the sink. Once they exited the room, Komachi shook out of her daze.

"What...?"


"You're an idiot."

"So are you," Hachiman countered.

"At least I didn't jump in front of a car to save a dog."

"At least I'm not the person that jumped in front of a teenager saving a dog."

"I have priorities, and I trained myself to take a hit. You're like a noodle, drywall hybrid."

He was greatly offended. "I don't work out as you do, but I'm fit."

"Whatever. As soon as I find those girls, I'm going to—"

"Calm down." He pressed my shoulder. "It was an accident."

I bitterly mumbled, "Luck was on our side today."

He heard me, and he understood. "I get it. Just don't do anything drastic?"

"No promises," I replied, my memory recalling their appearances. "I memorized their faces."

"I know."

"We'll know who they are after today."

"At your speech, right?"

"Yessir." I then remembered something. "I can't wait to meet Yukinoshita Yukino."

Hachiman's eyebrows raised. "Why? You never met her."

"I know, but I want to see her frustrated expression. I did beat her by one point, getting a perfect score."

"...Sadist."

"I can't deny that. Although, I wonder if that applies to my sex life too. Hmmm..."

My friend blushed a little. "And we're done talking."

"What? I'm curious about my sexual fetishes. I'm a growing young boy, you know."

"Dude."

"I think...vanilla suits you the best. Old fashioned, romantic, or loving sex is what I can imagine your preferences lie."

"Andrew."

"I don't like bondage. Liberty is a big part of who I am."

"Andrew."

"For sure, I'm going to explore as much as I can. Not one part of my lover will be untouched. Maybe some music—"

"Andrew!"

"What?"

"Look around."

I did, and dozens of students were looking at me weirdly. I could almost see light bulbs pop in their head. They began to form cliques, most likely to gossip about me. Children, I swear; all of them. At least be more discreet when glancing at me.

"Yes, we're talking about sex, virgins," I announced loud and clear. "I'm sure many of you have heard of sex. It is a process of initiating reproduction with a partner or exchanging pleasure. If you have a problem with me and my conversation topics, keep it to yourself. I don't care about your innocent feelings or your virgin ears." I turned to my dismayed partner-in-crime. "There. Solved."

Hachiman didn't say anything for a while.

"You are the bravest guy I've ever had the pleasure of befriending."

I shrugged. "I told the truth."

"Not many can."

"Oh, come on. How hard can it be? Weren't we born pure?"

"Yes, and people change with the experiences that molded them. You had a strict mother, and I was a secluded loner. I'm only just now getting used to being truthful."

"You're welcome for that."

He rolled his eyes. "Welcome, my ass. You wouldn't leave me alone, and for some reason, I couldn't do the reverse."

"...I'm glad you feel that way, but I'm into—"

"Dude."

"No, I'm not," he replied cheerfully. "I'm into dudettes."

Hachiman groaned for the second time today.


"Good morning, class of whatever year you'll graduate. As you already know, my name is Silvers Andrew. Today, I received the opportunity to speak in front of all of you because I am the highest scorer in the entrance exams. Normally, I don't take pleasure in results as these numbers mean nothing to me. However, today, I am making an exception." Andrew raised his arm, ignoring the slight ache. "See this? This morning, my buddy did the right thing, and I barely saved him from a trip to the hospital. Guess who was the party responsible. I'll give you a hint. She's rich, has blue eyes, has long black hair, and is in second place. Got your answer? Good. Then I'll point out the second party responsible for our injuries. She has pink hair, peach-reddish eyes, and a dog that my friend saved from a limousine. Yes. I a petty and vengeful, so don't cross me. With that said, congratulations to everyone that made it to this prestigious school. I hope we all get along and live with no regrets. After all, we only have one life. Let's make it count."