As said in the previous chapter, we bring back what was always intended. A story about a relationship too far gone to be mended. Knowing that she lurks, and just appears at random, Naruto and Sai hurry before their time is held for ransom. Without saying a word, Sai followed along through the hallway. If they were caught here, Sakura would have a field day. For she is audaciously bold, and alarmingly cheeky-

"Now remember Sai, be very quiet... and sneaky."

They then crept through the hallway; their lips tightly sealed-

"Like I told you before, I have an insane neighbor, keep your eyes peeled."

"Naruto, I think you're overreacting. I don't think she's that nosy.

"You don't think who's that nosy, Sai?"

Oh no, the nosy pink giant has appeared! And her underhanded motive made very clear. But Naruto was quick to react, as he had a conversation to steer-

"Sakura! I'm so glad to see you! What are YOU doing here?"

"I was just getting ready to take down the decorations that I put up earlier. You know, these Christmas lights. Christmas is over and I'm cleaning up... well I wouldn't say mess... but... more so taking responsibility for the decorations that I put up. Maybe you should take responsibility for... you know... oh... never mind."

Dropping the pointless argument entirely, she faced her body towards Sai. It seems Sakura won't be distracted easily, as much as Naruto may try.

"So, tell me, Sai. Who's the nosy neighbor? I'd loooooove to hear about THAT!"

"..."

"Well, you know Sakura, it isn't polite to eavesdrop... the way you have been..."

"Oh. I'm sorry, but you guys were whispering this conversation in the hallway right in front of me. There wasn't that much space between us, I couldn't help but hear. And you know, maybe it is a little nosy to ask, but I haven't seen you talk to anyone else besides me, so I can't help but think that it pertains to me."

"Well, if you feel that I would be talking about you, that just displays your insecurities Sakura. Do you think that I'm talking about you behind your back? Do you? What makes you think you're so special? Do you honestly think I'm scared of you? Is that it? Do you think I'm scared of you, Sakura?"

"Well, let's just be direct about how we feel, Naruto. Do you think I'm nosy?"

"...Well, I'm not gonna lie to you, Sakura. I'm NOT going tell you that I DON'T think that you ask too many damn questions about things that AREN'T YOUR BUSINESS! But I would NEVER talk about you behind your back. That would be 'ulTrA BiTtER' of me to do. And you know, contrary to popular belief, I'm not as bitter as you would think, Sakura."

Taken aback by him throwing her words back in her face, she was losing ground quickly in this drawn out footrace.

"I have friends and family and people to talk to that enjoy my presence. I don't know about you, Sakura. It just seems like you're always trying to get a rise out of me. I don't think this is about anything that I've done to you. Did I do anything to you to make you suspicious about my lifestyle?"

"There you go, acting as if you're better than me. You haven't done anything per se, but the way that you talk with me it just... it just feels like you're always on edge and-and somehow you make it seem like it's my fault that things are this way. You KNOW that I've been nothing but polite. You may think it's nosy to ask about, you know, Christmas and traveling, but it's just me trying to make small talk. If you... if you'd actually have a conversation with me, I wouldn't feel the need to ask about simple things. Like, you know... like how you have seven locks on your door."

Digging this back up obviously had its effect. Naruto looked uncomfortable; he's been squarely checked. And before he could go crazy in another defensive rant spiel, Sakura intended to make Scarface squeal.

"Maybe if you didn't have seven locks on your door... you could avoid me better... OH WAIT! You're NOT avoiding me... hOW CouLD I FoRGEt? That's right... You're not scared of uhhh little old Sakura."

"You got OLD right, but you're certainly NOT little. And alright Sakura, now that you've had the confrontation that you so desire... I mean, what-what are you really after here?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. Naruto, Sai still hasn't answered my question. So, Sai... who's the nosy neighbor? What's their name?"

"..."

"Sakura he's my guest. He has nothing to do with you and he probably never will. He doesn't have to answer ANY questions. The only reason you even know his name is because you eavesdropped on me talking to him as we walked over. We would be inside by now if you weren't skulking around... Taking down... Christmas decorations...? *Scoffs* Apparently..."

Giggling, Sakura's plan was never to attack. Knowing what's coming, she didn't need a comeback. If Naruto thought that THIS was an ambush, just wait until he sees the box, her plan's final push.

"It just feels like you're always on a Black Ops mission, you know. Every time I turn around and try to leave, or, god-forbid, even enter my apartment. You're-you're just... skulking around... just waiting to talk to me. Don't you have anything better to do? Don't YOU have a JOB? What do YOU do?"

"Well... Naruto... I didn't know you took that much offense to me asking questions."

Killing people with kindness never seemed so real, even Sakura just saying hi was an apparent ordeal. The best part is, questioning Sai was just her distraction, and him being here will just worsen the reaction.

"But you know, I can definitely tell you what I do for work to show that there is a little bit of hypocrisy in your logic. I work at the Yamanaka Flower Shop with Ino, my good friend. It's part of the reason why I'm always decorating around here. I give the landlord the good flower hook-up. And she gives me slightly lower rent because I helped her with the discounted rate."

A logical explanation, she's not playing defensive. But her list of reasons to bother him was growing extensive. We all know that Sakura isn't just out to decorate, but he can't think of her next excuse, he needed to concentrate.

"What about you Naruto? Oh, you know what? Never mind... never mind Naruto... I don't have to worry about you. The way you seem to put it, I'm just a nosy rude neighbor that isn't interested in anything but being rude and nosy... appArENtLy..."

They finally reached his door; he was going to end this right now. And this time, he swiftly managed to get the door open somehow. But Sakura did not give up, still looking for more banter. Her favorite game of wasting time to stall for answers. Sai was staying silent, she wasn't gaining anything by standing there using Sai as a talking point to cling.

"Sai, how was YOUR day? How did you ever... how did you meet Naruto?"

"And here you are proving why somebody, if anyone, would call you nosy. Sai has nothing to do with it. He's not your friend. He's MY friend and we're going into MY apartment, right now."

"But Naruto, wait!"

*Sigh* "Sakura, why do you always do this? What? What is it? What is it now? What's so important?"

"Don't you see on the floor right there? It's a gift. Who's it from, I wonder..."

"Sakura... What is this? What are you doing? What-what's this bit you're attempting?"

"Come on! Open your present, Naruto!"

"Why... the HELL... does it rattle when I shake the box? What did you give me that rattles?"

"Naruto?"

"..."

"..."

Sakura's trap stopped him dead in his tracks. All this right now, too much to unpack. The conversation took a turn and he can't end it as he'd hoped. There was nothing he could do but confront it all and cope. The silence remained deadly; Sai had no idea what to do. He turned to look at Naruto and saw that he was puzzled too.

"Come ooooon... you're not... you-you don't think... what could you possibly think I could fit in a box like that?"

"Well, knowing you, the gift in the box is probably either something to kill me or a flat out insult."

"Well, I can't say that it's NOT a bomb, and I also can't say that... it's NOT an insult. But what I CAN say, Naruto, is that you will probably be able to use it... if not needing it desperately."

"Sakura. What is in this box?"

"I don't know, Naruto. Maybe you should open it?"

"You are so completely agitating. Just tell me!"

"AH-AH-AH-AH-ah... open it... You gotta open it Naruto... do you-do you need ME to open it? I can open it for you."

"..."

"..."

"ACTUALLY! You know what, Sakura? I'm thinking of opening this when I get into my apartment."

"Are you sure you want to do that, Naruto? I mean, while my gift isn't bad per se, I do think it deserves an explanation."

"The suspense... is killing me... Sakura..."

"Then open it up, Slowpoke! I'm pretty sure even Sai wants to get in on this."

"..."

"..."

"... Fine."

"The anticipation killing, Sakura really outdid herself this time. It's all downhill from here though, this might just be her prime. A very immature attempt at creating disaster. How does giving Naruto a gift help Sakura get what she's after? We'll find out here soon, Naruto's opening the box. He then winces at the odd sensation; it was filled with smelly rocks?"

"What the hell are these?"

"THEY'RE BATH BOOOOOMBS!"

What is happening? When did she do this? How did she go *about* choosing this gift, and why did she go this particular route? A very unfair gift, and she said he desperately needs it. Still, it was an intriguing metaphor, he admits.

"Are you serious? Where did you get these? WHY did you get these?

"Well, I get them for free from time to time for working at the Flower Shop. They're organic and are mixed with essential oils. So, you know, they smell nice... I had gotten my fair share of them."

That would explain the peppermint and tea tree smell, Sakura had played this game incredibly well. She insulted him, got a reaction, and is still standing tall. Sakura Haruno is the pettiest instigator of all.

"I just figured... you know... you could use them to help relax... I've always enjoyed... giving to the... less fortunate... You can even give some to Sai if you want; there's A LOT in there. I just figured it would be a nice thing to do to give you something, you know."

As much as he didn't like it, he couldn't say it wasn't funny. Even Sai was stifling laughter, the cheap shot right on the money. And what would Naruto do with the bath bombs she gave? He certainly wouldn't use them, no, he was going to retaliate. But that would have to be a separate time from now. As much as he hated to admit it, Sakura won this round.

"That's all. You can go ahead into your apartment now."

"Oooh, nooooow I can leave, now that you've thoroughly insulted me with the bath bombs?

"Well, if you feel that my gift is an insult, thAT JuSt DispLAYs YoUR INsEcURItIeS! Oh, isn't that what you said?"

And on top of everything, it was now Sakura's turn to do the mocking. Embarrassing Naruto in front of his friend, standing there gawking. Naruto, flat out being ushered to go inside, had no choice but to hurry in while grabbing his friend Sai. A very different dynamic, but the same story is being told. A boy with a secret, and a girl, very bold.

"Whatever... Sai, we're going in NOW."

"Bye, Naruto! It was nice meeting you Sai!"

"..."

"Bye."

Still very passive aggressive, but Naruto learned his lesson. A war is still war, and he will not get a *second* chance to fight, if he slipped up now. It appears there's a new sheriff in town.

A petty Naruto knew better than to look through the peephole. It would only add insult to his own injury. The conversation took a toll.

And Sakura took notice that only one lock had gone off, not seven. Sakura killed it this time around, her victory unquestioned.

Regardless of this successful assault, Sakura has more battles yet.

Naruto Uzumaki, what is your secret?

Soooooo, I said I would have this out the day after Christmas I believe...? IDK. Things have obviously been a bit of a mess. But, in my defense, rhyming is hard. And I'm fairly certain that this chapter is, word-count wise, around the same amount as the other four, if not just a little smaller than all of them combined. Cut me some slack. Definitely the biggest chapter.

Also, I know I don't really give introductions or anything, I hate begging for things, period. But if you actually enjoy what I'm writing, or don't tbh, please review if you can. It helps me out and motivates me to do more.