You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I've had chapters 7, 8 & 9 drafted since the literal beginning of February. I had planned for all these chapters to not only come much earlier, but also be posted back to back. I don't know what it is with me editing anything over 800 words. I just stop. Take it as a good thing though. I see it as, if I'm taking a while to add a new chapter, it's because effort is being put into it. Anyways, there are now some reviews, and people are actually starting to give my nonsense a chance. Keep reviewing. And if you're thinking about following the story, I won't disappoint, because I will likely take this train to 100 chapters, and then inevitably crash it then. Hope you enjoy.
2/14/2021
Something we've all been waiting for, the next holiday episode. A little tardiness never hurt nobody, and there'll be a lot more of it down the road. But never mind the author's lack of work ethic, much to the audience's dismay. We are gathered here today to celebrate a very late Valentine's Day. And I think we're all very aware that Naruto's not winning this one. He might just want to take his chances, count his blessings, and run. And run he thought, might've been the best solution. But Sakura stood in front of his door, waiting for execution. He could tell she'd been waiting, a plump pig in a wig. Her arms behind her back? This one's gonna be big. And now wasn't a good time, he was still pissed* about the other day. Seems impossible to co-exist. He slowly walked to her and held in his breath. If anything, she was going to be the death... of him... I guess...
"..."
"..."
"..."
She was literally blocking the door, her face all sorts of giddy. And he forgot to pack that Snorlax flute, did he? She was already beginning her smug load of chuckling. The only way in seems to be to entertain the ugly duckling.
"...What?"
"Naruto... are you still holding out on asking me about my day?"
"Whatever..."
"..."
"..."
"Well?"
It seems like Sakura is enjoying the advantage. Sakura's silent gaze becoming too uncomfortable to manage. Although palpable silence might have worked against her previously, it's seems she's not gonna be shaken off that easily.
"..."
"..."
"Sakura... how was... your day...?" *Squints*
"Oh Naruto, it was absolutely splendid! Oh, I couldn't figure out what would melt your icy heart on today of all days."
"..."
"It's Valentine's day, you know. And-"
What she was holding behind her was obvious, Sakura's honestly too transparent. A huge lack of subtlety; a need to shave her arms inherent. Why did she choose today of all days, to not have someone else to annoy? I guess, for her, being alone on Valentine's Day isn't a choice. Is bothering me with a gift something that's truly giving her joy. No, itterly attacking me is to distract her from the lack of boys... in her dating life...? I'm sorry...
"I got you something I know you'll forever hold near and dear to you."
*Imagine someone that's close to you, who pulls the grossest angry face*
*Now imagine that face pulled 2 increments tighter*
*Now put that on Naruto's face... right now*
"Naruto, aren't you excited to open the box?"
"..."
"Naruto, you're not allergic to grenades-IMEANCHOCOLATE!"
"..."
"Naruto, are you even listening to me? Are you gonna take this out of my hands or what?"
"..." *Glares*
"Naruto?"
In Sakura's outstretched hands, a heart-shaped box. Oh, what could it be? More insulting rocks? He clearly didn't want conversation, or even to look at her. He just wanted to be in his apartment alone, with a small yet fun dinner. This game of being probed was getting really old. And allowing this much contact between them was taking a huge toll. Fortunately, Naruto already planned his course of action. What he needed was surprise, haste, for full satisfaction.
"..."
"...Naruto, ignoring me won't-"
Before she could whine, complain, or even finish her sentence, he kicked the box out of her hands without any sign of repentance. He kicked it with great force, and he definitely heard something shatter. The box, and its contents, hit the ceiling and the floor with a clatter. And by the look on Sakura's face, he clearly brought on disaster. Now he could be the smug one, knowing he was now the master. And now that he had given her a set distraction, he can now move forcefully to take real action.
"OH MY GOD! Why would you do that?"
"Sakura stop bothering me, alright? I've been incredibly patient dealing with you, and I don't need-"
As he caught sight of the pieces, he realized it was an expensive gift he broke. He turned back to Sakura, she laughed as if it were some joke. It finally dawned on him how well she played the game. Her preparation and mind juke ability has put his to shame.
"Sakura?"
"Yes, my little chickadee, pumpkin pie, snookums, sugar biscuit?"
"That's my phone, isn't it?"
"That's corre-"
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE MY PHONE!"
"..."
"I've been looking for that for half a week! I was about to file a police report!"
"..."
"Did you STEAL my phone?"
"..."
"ANSWER ME! HOW DID YOU GET MY PHONE?!"
"..."
The panic was starting to settle in, another trap flawlessly executed. Sakura stood in silence; a strong string of wins now undisputed. But Naruto, still needed answers, before he fully lost it. There was a clear and present line, and Miss Piggy here crossed it.
"WELL!"
"...Weeeell, when you were running to your apartment to... "urinate", it fell out of your pocket. I was gonna point it out to you... IF you were willing to have a conversation with me... but you know..."
"Are you actually seriously doing this right now?"
"Well to be fair, I wasn't the one who dropped the phone in the first place. I could've easily left it there to get stolen. I didn't even do anything to it before I put it in the box."
"I really could've gotten the police on you, Sakura! I should've known it was you!"
"How are you gonna call them, big guy? The phone that YOU lost is now SMASHED!"
"Why wouldn't YOU just hand it to me like a normal person?"
"Why didn't YOU just ask me if I've seen anything?"
"WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME THE PHONE?"
"WHY dOn't YOU recIevE FrIenDlY gESTurES WeLl?"
"UUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!"
He finally gave up, there was no winning now. He must literally pick up the pieces and restore the phone somehow. Obviously smug in her win, this chapter ends a little different. For it was Sakura's turn to leave, much to Naruto's consent. Sakura had done enough as is, while also doing so little. But before she fully exited, she had more spirit to whittle... down... Rhyming's hard OKAY?!
"You know... None of this would be happening if you weren't such a mean conniving jerk all the time, Naruto!"
OOOH that really struck a nerve, his eyes are even starting to twitch. The only conniving jerk around here is the Notorious B. I. itch. But regardless, personal responsibility was a factor. Now she could say that he full on attacked her. It isn't true, but not only did he manage to give her ammo, but he also has to try to recover from going full commando... on his phone... I tried dammit.
"Well... I'm off to my apartment, I suppose..."
Fully fleshing out the prank, it was time to let him be. Doing this today, of all days, filled her with glee. And so, she went in with a pip to her step. No point in sticking around when there was nothing left... to say... Leave me alone...
"Have fuuuun!"
As much as Sakura's been dominating, it's still technically 3 to 3. Who's gonna take the cake next time? We'll see.
Things lined up too perfectly, it's anyone's guess as to how. Sakura tried hard not to laugh; she's just straight up bullying now.
As she stared through the empty peephole, Naruto fully irate, she took great delight that this time nothing had went to waste.
She hasn't gained anything exactly, but she's not through digging yet.
Naruto Uzumaki... do we really care about your secret?
like let's just be honest with ourselves...
Yeah, looking over the chapters, I realized that Sakura never once had a lead on Naruto in terms of scoreboard. It truly felt like she had gotten like 8 to Naruto's 2. Maybe it's different for me the author, I just found it interesting that, while Sakura's victories are just ALOT in general, technically they are tied. Also, yes, there is a secret. It took me awhile to decide what that secret was gonna be, and it's gonna be a loooooooong time before I reveal it and conclude this mess of a fanfic regardless hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned because the next one will indeed be in a few days after this if not literally tomorrow night. I'm definitely intent on getting three chapters of this, and 1 chapter of my other story out before February ends.
