I'm gonna have to admit something to you guys. One of the chapters I was planning on uploading, I had to scrap and push aside. I'll probably still use it for later. But for now, I just got caught up in midterms this week. Not even just that. But I was also just hit with a wave of emptiness and laziness tbh. I'll try to have the next chapter out by late Friday. Can't make a promise though. In all fairness though. Out of all chapters, this one would be the longest/largest so far. And I'm also editing a like 10,000 word chapter for my other fic. While studying for a second midterm in the same class... Literally just end me...
Also, and it might not come off that way, especially if you read this site mobily;
When I do a normal sentence like this...
- - - and then a sentence with dashes like this...
Then the second sentence is meant to be interrupting the first one lol. You could probably pick up on that, but with 's doc editor, spacing and doing stuff like that isn't fully possible. Also the length of the dashes is obviously meant to push the second sentence to match up with what part of the first sentence it's interrupting.
Now on with the show!
Tonight's going to be long, the young man thought in his head. He's not in the mood, right now, he wishes he could drop dead. Not a massive depressive mood, but he's not feeling very well, and he's aware that this next interaction isn't going to be too swell. He could see pink hair and a picket sign down the hallway. And she's clearly been waiting for him; charming as always. Is she just tired of even pretending to be subtle? Isn't she tired of this back and forth scuttle? No, she gets off on it, that's been made very clear. And now that he's near his door, all the pieces are here. Let's continue this confusing story, of man vs ape. Will he suffer yet again? Will he make his daring escape? He could see the sign clearly, a string of dumb things. The words read "GUN CUNTWOLL! SOMETHING SOMETHING!" He sighed, he wanted a seat, was she really gonna make him endure* obnoxious political statements? Well, of course she'll get him. Rest assured.
"Sakura... Why do you do the things that you fucking choose to do?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Naruto!"
"...Really? You RealLY have No EARTHLY IDEA what you hAVE done tO DeservE suCH QuEstiOnINg FROm me?"
"Naruto... There isn't a problem with anything that's going on... IS THERE?!"
"..."
"..."
He honestly wasn't even gonna ask. Winning this match would be a bothersome task. And, as always, she's smug like some entrepreneur. Yeah, this debate won't end in his favor, his opportunity obscure.
"No. In fact, I'm gonna encourage you to go out and do your thing... away from here."
"Actually Naruto, I'm not going anywhere. I've scheduled this protest right here."
"Right here... In the hallway...?"
"Yes! Right here! Right now, Naruto!"
"...Why?"
"Because it's important that we have a discussion about this. I just feel like some of the tenants here... try to avoid... hard discussions... And I'm going to keep raising my voice UNTIL IT'S HEARD!"
"...Why?"
"...Naruto. You're not scared to open a dialogue about politics, loudly, here in the hallway... ARE YOU?!"
"Is this the bit?" He wondered. "Will she always ask if I'm scared?" It just occurred to him that this hallway was shared. And it was premature to let her victory be declared, he's gonna test just how well Miss "fully prepared" fared. Naruto was left chuckling, as Sakura stood and stared. For now, he'll leave her guessing; it's better her unaware.
"What's so funny, Naruto? You've finally realized how silly you've been behaving?"
"Sakura... You know what? No. I'm not gonna engage in this, AT ALL!"
"But Naruto, I thought you said you were gonna start being friendly with me! Did you lie to me, Naruto!"
"..."
"...?"
*Groans*
"Fine! What do you even want to talk about?"
"Well, for starters, don't think I'm just gonna ignore you laughing at my sign like that!"
"I wasn't laughing at your sign... I was... you know... laughing about... how silly I've been behaving all this time."
"You're laughing about my sign again!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Yes you-"
"Sakura!"
"WHAT?"
He was totally laughing at the sign, and the dumb situation overall. And without her big meaty claws, the chance of getting mauled was... small... In a moment, he decided "let's throw a curve ball!" He had to answer quickly after his sudden withdrawal.
"I didn't even notice... you had a sign... isn't that silly?"
"NARUTO!"
"WHAAAAAAAT!?"
"..."
"..."
It seems that they both wanna continue to play games. Valentine's day, a random day in March, it's really all the same. She asks the same question, and he refuses to back down. And it ends in one of them looking like a clown. History just on a loop, is it starting to get stale? Will Sakura ease up? Will she prevail? It's time we revisit, a dynamic more-so abandoned; a rude boy and a nosy girl, both getting branded.
"...Now that you've FINALLY noticed my sign, we can FINALLY get to the discussion of gun control."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
*Groans and pinches bridge of nose*
"Uuuuugh... Sakura... Is this what you really want?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"..."
"..."
"Well, you nag and moan over and over about wanting me to be more friendly, and then... try to have a gun control argument, an arg-"
"I'm not trying to argue! I just want a discussion!"
"AN ARGUMENT about a political topic that I'm 95% sure you don't give two shits about!"
"That's not true, I care about everything! ALL THE TIME!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
And just like that, Sakura had made him truly regret* ever being in this conversation; going inside was his best bet. It's like in an instant she can think of the most agitating fodder* she can to repond with. She's like a deranged toddler. Well he's knee-deep in it now, time to watch this plane crash. Still, he can't help but feel, this plot is a little trash.
"Naruto... How does this sign make you feel? What emotions do you feel, right now? How do you feel about gun-cuntwoll-something-something?"
"..."
"..."
"Actually, Sakura... I don't feel... feel anything about that... oh, AT ALL..."
"..."
"And I don't FEEL like doing this either, so I might just leave."
"But, Naruto..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...?"
"..."
"You know, the five minutes we had just been quiet, it's the moment of silence your flat jokes dying deserved... And just so we're clear, you truly couldn't even think of one made up reason to keep me out here?"
"Naruto, I'm just trying to have an intellectual discussion... you know... about how we feel about certain topics... We shouldn't be demonizing each other right now. We should be embracing our differences... and all that..."
Sakura having the energy to do this says a lot about who she is. What kind of sane person sees this type of conversation as bliss? We can plainly see that she's not the most developed adult. Calling her childish at this point has lost its charm as an insult...
"WAIT! That's it!" He excitedly exclaimed in his head. A new strategy to fill Sakura with dread. He's been playing her games on her terms, on her time. This will be the chapter Naruto becomes a mime!
"...Sakura... You know what? Fine. What did you have in mind to discuss?"
"Well, I've been asking everyone I've come across about what they have been doing to contribute to the fight for gun control."
"..."
"...Soooooooo-"
"So what?"
"Soooooo, what are you doing in the fight for gun control?"
"I'm sorry, Sakura dear, could you repeat that?"
"?"
"..."
"I SaAaAaAaid, what... Are YOU doing... in the fight... for gun control...?"
A perfect opportunity to run this train off its tracks. What he has in mind will stop Sakura's plan of attack. He had to get creative, that's the only way to cheat. If he lands this, Sakura will surely be beat.
*In Alexa voice* "You have asked for 'what are you doing in the fight for Gwyneth Paltrow.' Is that correct?"
"NOOOOOOOO!"
*In Alexa voice* "You have just confirmed that you have asked for 'what are you doing in the fight for Gwyneth Paltrow.' Google searching 'what are you doing in the fight for Gwyneth Paltrow.' Da-Ding!"
"Naruto! Stop-"
"Hold on, Sakura. I have ONE JOB!"
"..."
"Siri! Who...THE FUCK! Is Gwyneth Paltrow?"
~ Gwyneth Kate Paltrow is an American actress, model, writer, entrepreneur, businesswoman and author. She has received numerous accolades for her film work, including an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award, and a Primetime Emmy. ~
"Well... There you go, Sakura!"
"Naruto... That quite literally had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING!"
"OOOOH, that's right! You asked me what I was DOING for Gwyneth Paltrow."
"I... I just don't..."
Of course, now that he's created a space for complete and utter chaos, the world needs to look out, because Sakura's getting laid off. For there's a new asshole in town, and he's playing the oldest trick in the book. It's called being young and annoying, he's got Sakura fully shook.
"So. You've finally caught me, eh? You've finally figured out my secret!"
"...What are you even talking about?"
"You KNEW that what I was hiding in my apartment, had something to do with Gwyneth Paltrow. Hence why you made a sign that says Gwyneth Paltrow Something Something!"
"That;s not even what the sign-"
"You KNEW I wouldn't want to do or say anything about Gwyneth Paltrow, so you just kept digging and digging and digging. And you know what? I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!"
*sighs* "..."
"What I've really been doing all this time, in my apartment, what I've been working on for 4 years!"
"..."
"I'm creating new indestructible, water-proof, laser shootin', machine gun blastin', fire-retardant, bug repellin', car-drivin', sex-havin', egg-frying set of pants! ...For Gwyneth Paltrow! ...Because I thought ...she needed... a newer pair... And she would've paid me a pretty penny too, if it weren't for you meddling bloodhounds that always have it out for me!"
"..."
"Whew! You're right Sakura, having this discussion, and finally airing out my horrible secret felt really good. We should do this more often."
"..."
"..."
And now the age-old quiet game, we know where this is going. We go on repeat asking the same questions over and over; so annoying. But this time, there's an edge for Uzumaki. In fact, he's the smug one now, so fast he's getting cocky.
"...Naruto, are you gonna keep pretending that you don't care?..."
- - - - -"...Sakura, I'm never pretending, I care about NOTHING... ALL THE TIME!"
"..."
"..."
"Naruto, this is really immature... what you're doing..."
- - - - -"Sakura, you're the immature one... with all this going on..."
"..."
"..."
"I-"
- -"You-"
"..."
"..."
"Naruto, you gotta stop being so childish, this is really obnoxious."
- - - - - - " sAkURA, yoU gOTTa STOP bLeH BLeh Bleh, maybe YOU'RE the OBNOxioUs oNE!"
"..."
"..."
"I don't-"
- -"You should-"
"..."
"..."
*sigh* "Naruto, are you REALLY doing this?"
*exasperated sigh* "Are YOU... REALLY having this conversation with me?"
"Are you just gonna keep on mocking me?"
- - -"Are YOU gonna keep asking ME dumbass questions?"
*squints* "..."
*smirks* "..."
*glares* "..."
*giggles* "..."
"I-"
- -"You-"
"ARE! YOU! DONE?!"
- - - -"Sakura... I'm always do- wait wha-"
As he said that, Sakura turned around and walked to her door. Naruto was surprised she didn't try just a little bit more. And just like that, she fully had enough of his shit. This wasn't going anywhere for her; she'd might as well end it. But she's not going to hear the end of it, no sir! Sakura flat out giving up wasn't something that occurs. I mean there was that one time, but that was very different. I guess this attempt truly was insignificant.
"Awwww, givin up that easy? Huh? You givin up, Sakura?"
She just shook her head "NO" with a face contorted with disgust. But was this truly happening? He was feeling mistrust. He could just be imagining it all, this could all be a dream. He was gonna test something, this would be going extreme.
"Sakura, WAIT!"
"WHAT IS IT, NARUTO!"
"You forgot... your sign..."
She then mumbled, picked it up, and left obviously discouraged. She could have still maimed him, that bit of sassing took courage. And yes, out of everything, that pure outrage was real. But does it even matter though? What's important is how he feels.
"I guess a political discussion in the hallway... *continues laughing* wasn't so bad... after all."
And Naruto, in this moment, feels very joyful and accomplished. This will stick with her, and she might even become less pompous. Though, if we're being honest, this will just motivate her. After all, one of the strongest tools on the planet is anger. She might throw bricks at my door, or some other crazy stuff. But for now, let's just enjoy the night. Enough is enough.
"GOODNIGHT, SAKURA!"
-Is all that's left for him to say. He waved her door goodbye; he was now on his merry way.
Hopefully you enjoy this bombastic new chapter. And that it filled you with love... and laughter...
Cringe ending lines aside though, did you guys enjoy the story? Something that didn't end even slightly gory.
And did you enjoy finding out about Naruto's long held secret...?
P.S. Obviously Gwyneth Paltrow's pants are not his secret.
This really just ended up being an entire small chapter added to one I already had prepared to be posted lol. Not gonna say too much, but this chapter was me trying to find a balance between dialogue and rhyming nonsense. Obviously, more effort goes into it, it takes longer. But I think it does come out better. It's not just a dumb argument between two people with the Narrator talking. I feel like it's fun... maybe... leave a review...? Let me know what you think...?
C'MOOOOOOOOON
C'MOOOOOOOOOOOOON
