Detective Kevin Ryan was at a complete loss. He turned up to the 12th Precinct at 8:30am, the same way he did every morning that they didn't get summoned earlier due to a murder. And yet, today was different than any other day. It wasn't even the hangover that made it different. No, what Detective Ryan was at a loss for was the fact that he'd left a beautiful woman sound asleep in his bed. And that beautiful woman just so happened to be the 21-year-old daughter of one of his closest friends. And she was in his bed. They hadn't actually had sex which, based on how drunk Ryan had been last night, he was counting his lucky stars for. But that didn't help him shake the guilt in his gut.

"Morning, bro," Esposito's slap on the shoulder roused him out of the mental image of Alexis in his bed, wearing his clothes, golden-red curls spread across his pillows… Wow, yeah, he needed a bucket of ice.

"Hey, Javi," he replied, mentally slapping himself, replacing the image with the thought CASTLE'S DAUGHTER in a big neon-flashing sign.

"Everything ok? You seem out of it," Esposito asked, taking a seat at his desk.

"Not really," Ryan sighed, might as well get this part over with. "Jenny moved out."

"I'm so sorry, Ry," Esposito reached out to grasp his partner's shoulder. "I know you said you were fighting, but that doesn't cushion the blow."

"No," he sighed and sat back in his chair. "I knew it was coming, just hoped it would be more like 50 years from now."

Ryan gave a self-depreciating chuckle at his own statement.

"Still, better now than a short-lived, miserable marriage?" Esposito guessed gently.

"I guess."

"Want to get drunk tonight?" His partner offered with a small smile.

"Nah, I tried that last night," Ryan replied, trying as hard as he could not to blush at the rest of his activities the previous night. "I think I'm all drunk'd out for now."

"You give me a holler if you're up to try again."

"Will do, bro," Ryan tried for a genuine grin, but even he knew that it was a poor attempt. He could have called Javi last night, probably should have. This conversation they were having now though was an acceptance, she was gone and it sucked, but he knew it was the right decision for her. Last night, he'd been upset, he didn't want to accept it, he just wanted to be happy, settled, and starting his family. With the woman he loved. He would miss her sweet smile, her ability to make him forget all the dead bodies he'd seen, the sound of her laugh, the way she hummed to herself in the kitchen.

Another pat on the back from Esposito pulled him out of his musings again.

"There is someone else out there for you, Ry."

"Yeah."

"Hey guys! What's with the long faces?" Richard Castle sauntered over to the two shorter detectives. Kate Beckett slid into her own desk with a smile and a nod to her co-workers.

"Jenny's gone," Esposito said, shifting his body to give Ryan some space.

"Oh, damn, I'm sorry Ryan. Anything we can do to help?" Castle sobered immediately. Thankfully, Ryan depressing himself by thinking about Jenny had pushed his night with Alexis far from his mind, so he was able to meet Castle's eyes.

"There's nothing really, but thanks for the offer," he said, giving Castle and Beckett the same sad smile he'd given Esposito.

"Do you want to take a sick day today?" Beckett offered.

"Nah, hopefully work can get my mind off it."

"If the hangover gets bad, bro, take her up on that sick day," Esposito smirked, nudging him.

"Uh-huh, sure," Ryan rolled his eyes. He had always been good at handling hangovers, something to thank his Irish heritage for.

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Despite the fact that his entire day was taken up doing paperwork rather than solving any crimes, Ryan thought it passed quickly. Maybe he was just dreading the end of the work day, going home to an empty apartment. Esposito and Castle had taken it upon themselves to continuously try to amuse him; mostly in the form of Castle spinning some tale off a cold case while Esposito and Beckett undermined him with actual facts. It worked, it was a great distraction, he truly had the best co-workers. When the clock hit 5pm though, he felt his stomach drop a little.

"Want to grab a pizza?" Esposito asked, sidling over to Ryan's desk as he packed up his things for the day.

"Didn't you have a date with Lanie tonight?" Ryan asked, he wasn't looking for any pity and he certainly didn't want his friends uprooting their own plans just for him.

"Yeah, but we don't mind if you come along too," he countered. "I promise we won't be all over each other."

"Nah, it's ok bro, I'll be fine."

"Ok, call me any time though," Esposito replied, hesitating for a few minutes before leaving Ryan outside the building.

Usually, Ryan would take the subway down to the Columbia stop and walk home from there, but today, the idea of that many bodies pressed up against him for the evening commute made him cringe. So, he decided to meander a bit. He'd never walked all the way home, it was relatively far and completely impractical, but since he didn't really want to get home anyway, today seemed like the perfect day to try it.

In the end, it took about 2 hours. 2 hours of navigating the multitudes of sidewalks and alleys of NYC. 2 hours to remind himself of everything he was going to miss about Jenny (a very long list) and everything he wasn't (a significantly shorter list). 2 hours to wonder what the hell had actually happened between him and Alexis last night and if he could ever let something like that happen again. 2 hours to come up with the many ways that Castle could kill him if he ever got even the slightest whiff of an idea that Ryan could have done anything to his daughter… Needless to say, it was a long journey home and Ryan pretty much decided that it wasn't worth it. He wouldn't be walking home from work again any time soon.

He thought about stopping in at King Charlie's, but the last thing he needed was to wake up to another woman in his arms. Last night was bad enough, he wasn't going to let it become a habit. He'd passed his sleeping around days a long time ago. He needed to be better than that if he was ever going to get the family that he wanted.

He heaved a sigh as he flipped through his key ring at his door, finding the right key, letting himself in, closing and locking the door again behind him. The key that Jenny had left behind, the one he'd told Alexis to use, was gone from its place. For some reason, that made him feel better. It wasn't hanging there to be another glaring reminder that she didn't even want to be able to visit him; that there was nothing more that he or his apartment could offer her.

Then he saw the note, hanging on his refrigerator. The note he'd written to Alexis this morning was flipped over and she'd scribbled something on the back. It made him smile. Maybe all he really needed to get through this was these little bits of light from his friends. Maybe things really were going to be ok.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Thanks for the note :)

Text From: Castle Jr.

Any time! You're home late. Espo take you out?

Text From: Det. Ryan

He had a date. I walked.

Text From: Castle Jr.

YOU WALKED HOME? FROM THE PRECINCT?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Yep

Text From: Castle Jr.

You are insane. Nobody sane does that. You sick? Need a psych consult? Pills? Drugs? Soup?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Ha. Ha. I'm ok

Text From: Det. Ryan

Just tired

Text From: Castle Jr.

Ok. Sleep well. Don't do anything insane tomorrow.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Will try not to. Have a good night.

Ryan was very thankful at 4am on Friday morning that he had decided to forgo drinking the night before.

"Morning, Beckett," he groaned, blinking at his clock as he answered the phone.

"Morning, Ryan, we've got a case," Beckett's voice filtered through as she must have turned away from it briefly to yawn. "68 7th street NW, be there as soon as you can."

"Yup, see you there."

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"The victim's name is Marcus Saunders, his prints are in the system from multiple run-ins with narcotics cops and various rehab centers," Kate Beckett filled Ryan and Esposito in as they walked to the alley where the body had been found. "Anything to tell us, Lanie?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty good bet he died from blunt force trauma to the back of his head. A blow that leaves a skull fracture that deep and this much blood on the ground is sure to have done a lot of other damage. Based on liver temp, he died at 1am this morning," Lanie replied, carefully lifting the corpse's head off the ground to inspect the fragments embedded in the fracture.

"Ouch," Esposito said, wincing.

"He familiar to you at all, Ry? From your time with Narcotics?" Beckett asked. Ryan squatted down to peer closer at the man's face. He'd only been with the Narcotics division for a few years, straight out of the police academy, but he'd gotten to know the main players on the streets pretty darn quickly.

"Nah, I don't recognize him," Ryan responded after a minute, then he turned to Lanie. "Think he was using or sober?"

"Can't tell yet, I'll need to get him back to the lab," she replied, putting his head back down. "No fresh needle marks though, so we'll likely have to wait for the tox screen."

"I'll call some of my friends with Narcotics," Ryan said, looking back at Beckett. "See if they recognize the face or the name."

"Sounds good. Espo, can you start tracking down any family? Job? Anyone who knows him?" Beckett asked. "Castle and I will go talk to the witness."

"Sure thing," Esposito sighed, grabbing Ryan's jacket and pulling him into his car to head back to the precinct.

Hours later, searches through both computers and outside contacts had turned up the information that Marcus Saunders was a janitor at a local catholic school, he had a brother in Queens, his parents lived in White Plains, and he'd been out of the Narcotics watchlist for over a year now. Esposito and Ryan spent most of the day following leads to trace his drug habits, most notably heavy opioid usage and some dealing when he needed the money. The Narcotics division at the 8th precinct had the most experience with him and agreed to gather their files on him to send over to the 12th the following day.

"Got anything?" Beckett asked, not two seconds after Esposito and Ryan walked into the bullpen.

"The 8th Narcotics squad is going to get their files together for us. Most people seem to think he's been clean for a while though," Ryan replied, dropping himself heavily onto his chair.

"Yeah, either that or he's gotten better at avoiding notice," Esposito supplied, leaning against Beckett's desk while she filled in the murder board. "Where's Castle?"

"Getting coffee."

"Good, we're going to need it," Esposito said. "I'm guessing there's a trip to White Plains in our future?"

"Unless you want to take the nuns and the brother?" Beckett offered with a smirk at Ryan.

"Nope, no to the nuns. We're going to White Plains," Ryan said quickly, suppressing a shudder at the idea of returning to a catholic school.

"Hey guys! I have got two piping hot black coffees, one mocha espresso with whipped cream, and one double espresso extra foam," Castle came bustling into the bullpen handing out coffees to each of his detectives. "Did I miss anything good?"

"Tox screen is negative, no drugs in his system at all," Lanie offered, also coming up to Beckett's desk. "Cause of death was blunt force trauma. Our killer used a weapon that has a rounded end, made of pine, likely a baseball bat or something similar. I found some pine fragments in the head wound. But whoever did it, they must have put a lot of muscle into it. It was only the one blow that killed him."

"Thanks, Lanie," Beckett responded with a smile. "Do you need some coffee?"

"No thank you," Lanie replied backing away with a flirtatious grin to Esposito. "I am going home to get in my nice comfy bed and sleeping until normal people wake up tomorrow morning."

"At 3:30 in the afternoon?" Castle threw at her while he gulped his double espresso. "Pah-thetic!"

"Uh-huh, you keep your pathetics to yourself, Castle. I'm going to be well rested," she smirked and with a quick kiss on the cheek to Esposito, she left the precinct.

"Man, I wish we could do that," Esposito sighed, watching her walk away.

"Mmhmm," Ryan murmured in response, flipping through their growing case file in search of Saunders' parents address. "You driving or me?"

"I'll drive," Esposito offered, with one last wistful glance at the direction Lanie had left, mostly wishing he could have gone home with her.

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Text From: Castle Jr.

Someone's pot smoking keeps setting off the fire alarm. You busy? Can you guys come arrest some people for me?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Wish we could. On a case now though. Headed to White Plains with Javi.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Damn.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Bad words again. When did you start swearing?

Text From: Castle Jr.

When all these idiots started keeping me from studying.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Do you still have my key?

Text From: Castle Jr.

Yeah, do you need it? Want to meet at KC's tonight?

Text From: Det. Ryan

No, that's not what I meant. Go study at my place. Case is going to keep us out late anyway.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Seriously?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Yeah. I trust you

Text From: Castle Jr.

Thank you so much. I owe you. Big time.

Text From: Det. Ryan

If you set fire to it or something, I'll just tell Castle that he was right and you hate Pi.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Deal.

"What are you smiling at?" Esposito glanced over at his partner in the passenger seat.

"Nothing, just my sister, one of my nephews said his first word today," Ryan replied, not entirely lying. His sister, Karen, had actually texted him about his nephew, Ben's, first word earlier in the day.

"And?"

"Poop."

Esposito chuckled at that.

"This is the sister with two boys, right? I'm guessing the older one taught the younger one that."

"Oh yeah, that's exactly what happened. If I had a brother, it's what I would have done."

The car descended into silence again, with just the white noise of the radio in the background. Ryan settled back into his seat and closed his eyes.

"You fall asleep now and you're the one driving home, bro."

"Sure thing, Javi," Ryan replied, they still had an hour or so of driving left. Plenty of time for a nap.

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Text From: Castle Jr.

When are you going to be home?

Text From: Det. Ryan

An hour or so, I think, regrouping at precinct now.

Text From: Castle Jr.

OK. I'm hungry, going to get food. You want anything?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Not Chinese

Text From: Castle Jr.

Mac and cheese?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Sounds perfect

"Oi! Irish! I know your nephew's funny, but he's not that interesting," Esposito tapped his fingers on Ryan's desk to get his attention away from his phone.

"Yeah, sorry," he said, putting the phone away. "So, you guys got nothing from the vic's brother?"

"Nope, alibi checked out and his financials are clean as a whistle," Beckett sighed, sitting back on her desk in front of the board. "What did Saunders' parents say?"

"Not much, they hadn't heard from him in a couple years, figured he was back into drugs again. Weren't overly shocked to hear he was dead, they seem to have accepted the possibility after his first major relapse," Ryan filled her in.

"Yeah, they were shocked that the tox screen came back clean, but didn't seem to think it meant he'd been clean all along," Esposito added.

"A sober drug addict whose parents have already given him up for dead, brother was close to him, but didn't bother telling their parents that he'd been clean. Something's not adding up here," Beckett rubbed at her eyes and Castle squeezed her shoulder.

"Maybe the brother thought the same thing as their parents; Saunders would just have another relapse and he didn't want to get their hopes up?" Castle offered.

"Yeah, maybe," Beckett sighed. "But that's not a motive for killing him."

"Any leads with the nuns?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing, everyone we've talked to says he's been clean for over 3 years. Always showed up to work on time, got the job done. They were sorry to have to find a new janitor," Castle sounded bored as he relayed the information, clearly wishing the nuns had been up to some sort of secrecy with the victim.

"We're still waiting on all the reports connected to him to be sent to us from the 8th precinct now. They should be here in the morning and we can look them over then," Beckett said. "I guess we should call it a night for now? Regroup first thing tomorrow and we'll go over all the old case files."

"Sounds good," Esposito replied, grabbing his coat from his chair and nodding to the rest of them on his way out.

"Yeah, we'll get the guy tomorrow, Beckett," Ryan said, offering both Castle and Beckett a smile as he took his own things away. "Have a good night."

"Night Ryan!" Castle waved him away as he started to slowly pull Beckett away from the murder board.

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"Hey," the soft voice came from the direction of his kitchen as Ryan walked in to his apartment, nearly giving him a heart attack until he remembered that Alexis was probably still studying.

"Hey yourself," he said, dropping his keys and work bag on the counter, then immediately kicking off his shoes and hanging his coat in the front closet. "So, mac and cheese?"

"There's a bowl ready to go in the microwave in the fridge," she said, pointing with her pen before going back to the textbook she was poring over.

"Thanks," Ryan took the bowl out, loosened the cover, and started it in the microwave. "How goes the studying?"

"I've gotten more done in the past 3 hours than I have in the past 3 days," she replied, turning her clear green-blue eyes to him. "I really thought I was handling work and classes and the shitty apartment building fine, but studying in the library with people interrupting you every 10 minutes is so much different than being in a place of mostly silence. I've honestly taken up your entire counter space, this is less than half the mess that it was."

Ryan replied, taking a long drink from a glass of milk. "I'm glad it was good studying though. Happy to be of some help."

"This was amazing, thank you again," Alexis replied, eyes bright and a smirk playing on her lips. "Your neighbor with the dog is super weird, by the way."

"Yeah, I know, Jenny and I were thinking about getting a dog, but then we realized it would mean running into Miss Purple significantly more often," Ryan replied, chuckling to himself as he remembered that conversation.

"Is Miss Purple really her name?"

"Close enough, it's Miss Purpinci, and yes, she always dresses that poor dog in something purple," Kevin laughed at Alexis's expression, both in disbelief of his neighbor's name as well as also probably remembering what costume the poor little pug had been forced into.

"Weird," Alexis sighed, shaking her head and starting to pack her things away.

"When are your exams?"

"They're spread out between next week and the week after. I'm almost ready for one, but not even close to ready for the other three."

"You can stay as late as you want," Ryan said, as the microwave dinged and he pulled out his food. "I'm just going to eat, then crash. We're regrouping early tomorrow, so I won't even be here long. Guest room is obviously still open."

Alexis stopped her packing and sat back down on her stool as Ryan grabbed a fork to try the macaroni, mixed with veggies, covered with a very generous portion of her dad's special yogurt and cheese sauce.

"Oh, this is delicious," he practically moaned into the bowl as he started shoveling pasta into his mouth.

"Thanks," Alexis grinned. "My dad taught me most of his secrets. And you had all the ingredients here, so I didn't even need to go out. I can replenish them though, so don't worry about that!"

"Alexis," Ryan swallowed around a particularly large mouthful and met her eyes. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I probably wouldn't have had time to cook up half this stuff anyway before it goes bad."

"Ok," Alexis breathed for a minute, she really just didn't want to start overstepping boundaries; this was still a new side to their friendship and she had enjoyed studying here, much more so than any of the other nooks she'd managed to locate on campus. "Is it really ok if I stay tonight?"

"Yes," Ryan was back to focusing on his meal. "I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't."

"Thanks."

Ryan just hummed in response as he scraped the bowl for the last of the macaroni before putting it to soak in the sink.

"I'm going to bed," Ryan said, reaching over and tweaking her ear so she would look up from her notes. "Don't study too hard."

"Yeah, yeah," she mock-glared at him. "Sleep well, Kevin."

"You too, Alexis."