You sat the 70's orange armchair you had left in your cabin when you moved in with the rest of the Avenger. You were only going to be there for a week at most, you were setting up plans to go south to Venezuela. From there, you didn't know where. You didn't think when you ran away from everything you had loved.
"Loki," you fell out of your seat onto the hard tile floor to grab him.
"Back up," Tony threw you out the way, hearing the alarms outside the chamber. Everyone ran into the lab, Bruce running to the monitors.
Thor came to the door of the chamber and dragged you out, you didn't resist. He set you in a chair outside the chamber while Natasha and Steve ran into the chamber to help Tony.
"What happened," Thor asked, but you couldn't respond. You mind was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Finding the lilac tree, fighting yourself, digging up the books.
"I hurt Loki," the whisper drowing from the alarms.
"Shut that noise off," Clint yelled over the sound and after a minute, Bruce managed to turn it off. "Thank you."
"Y/N," Thor turned your focus to him, his eyes concerned for you.
"He's breathing," Tony said as Steve carried Loki out of the lab.
"Where are you taking him," you jumped out of your seat and tried to follow, Thor grabbing you. You thrashed against him trying to get to Loki, your mind glitching between the scene in front of you and the memories you recovered.
"Y/N," Natasha broke your line of sight, forcing you back in the presence. "He's okay, just unconscious. What happened?"
"I hurt him," tears clouded your vision and you fell into Thor's arms. "I almost killed him."
"You didn't kill him," Natasha tried to soothe you unsuccessfully. "They're taking him to the infirmary, he's going to be okay."
"Let's take her to her room," Bruce suggested and Thor almost carried you out of the lab, Clint and Bruce left to go to the infirmary.
You stayed quiet as you were escorted to your room, Natasha sending Thor to the infirmary as she stayed. Now you knew everything, and so did Loki.
"He's going to hate me," you couldn't stop the tears and began crying. Natasha pulled you into her arms and held you as you sobbed.
You cried for minutes, hours, days, you didn't know until you were completely numb. If Natasha was trying to tell you something, you didn't hear. You mind kept replaying the night over and over again. Each time, pangs of guilt and regret twisting your body.
"I need to leave," you stood up from the bed and grabbed the duffle bag that was still unpacked. Natasha watched you for a moment as you took clothes out of your dresser and stuffed it into the duffle.
"Where would you go," Natasha asked, not moving.
"Somewhere where I can't put Loki in danger anymore," you took off the vacation clothes you were wearing and put on a long sleeve black shirt with blue jeans.
"And where is that?"
"It doesn't matter," you retied you shoes and grabbed the small metal box that was inside the luggage case that you had left open when you went to Cairo. You opened the box to see a few passports and enough case to get your anywhere in the world. Natasha noticed this and finally put a hand on your arm.
"You didn't hurt him," she tried to reason.
"But I did," you pushed her hand away and stuffed the box into your duffle, pulling the zipper close. "He almost died because of me."
"But he didn't," Natasha put herself in front of the door. "And he isn't going to die now."
"I betrayed the throne," you pulled the bag's strap over your shoulder. "I failed my duty as his guard."
"I don't know what happened," Natasha positioned herself in a fighting stance. "But I can't let you go."
"You're a mortal," you sighed, readying yourself.
"This mortal is going to kick your ass," Natasha rushed you and your quickly glamour yourself and stepped to the side. Natasha's senses were sharp and she was able to track your movements for a few moments, but soon lost track of you. She position herself in front of the door again, but you were already behind her.
"Sorry," you whispered, hitting the back of her head with your hand and she fell to the ground. You dropped the glamour long enough to carry Natasha to your bed and checked she was still breathing. You conjured a couple of painkillers and a glass of water on your nightstand and re-casted the glamour as you snuck out of the building.
It had been three days since you fled and were about to leave the cabin when you heard a car come down the path. It sounded as if it was speeding and you grabbed your bag and jumped out the window opposite to the drive way.
"Y/N," Loki's voice made you hesitate at the tree line, your body fighting against its instinct to run away and its desire to run to Loki. Loki called your name again and you hid yourself behind one of the large trees so you wouldn't be seen.
"Where is she," you heard Loki ask, two pairs of footsteps walking around the cabin.
"Calm down Loki," you heard Steve's voice. "Tony was able to track her phone. She should be here."
You swore forgetting that your phone was in you duffle bag. You only wished it was dead now so they could track you.
"Y/N," Loki's voice cracked from the shout and you wished he would give up and leave. "Tell me you're here, please!"
You pressed your hands against your mouth, trying not to make a noise as tears streamed down your face. Why was he here? Shouldn't he be resting? Why was he looking for you? Why can't you detect any hatred in his voice?
"Are you sure this is where her last location is," Loki barked.
"This is her cabin," Steve reassured him. "We came here to help her move her stuff to headquarters."
"Then why isn't she here?"
"Her phone turned off a few hours ago. I don't think she realized it was still on."
"Y/N," Loki's voice started to sound hoarse as he called for you.
You begged to Odin or any god who would listen to make Loki leave quickly. You were losing the fight to run away, your body not listening to you.
"Found you," your eyes snapped open seeing Loki standing in front of you. How did he sneak up on you? You stared at him until you realized it was one of his illusions, but that didn't matter. He had found you.
You ran through his phantom image and charged into the woods, hearing Steve and Loki running after.
"Y/N," Steve yelled. "Stop running."
You knew this forest since you first built your cabin and was able to run through it as if you were running down the market streets of Asgard. You could hear Steve and Loki call to you, but they were struggling to keep up. You wished they would just give up, you knew they couldn't catch you, even if they had superspeed.
You didn't see the green light pull a root in your way through your tears.
You fell and rolled on the ground, your duffle bag flying away from you. You gritted your teeth against the pain and lifted yourself from the ground.
"Y/N," Loki's voice was closer and you tried to run away. Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back, causing you and Loki to fall to the ground. "Would you stop and listen."
"Why?" you couldn't stop crying. "Why don't you just kill me?"
"What?"
"I hurt you," you tried pushing his arms away but your strength was being siphoned off. "I nearly killed you."
"But I'm still alive."
"Doesn't change the fact that I betrayed you," you sobbed. "I betrayed the throne. I failed in my duties."
"Then make up for it," Loki pressed his cheek against the side of your head, whispering in your ear.
"But I almost killed you," you tried fighting him but you were becoming too tired.
"You were not at fault," Loki pulled you closer to him. "You couldn't see properly."
"How di-"
"I saw your memories of that night too," Loki explained. "You didn't see it was me. Your mind was clouded with chaos."
"I was a palace guard," you whimpered, your will to fight leaving you. "I failed my training."
"Y/N," Loki's arms loosen around you, some of you strength returning, as he turned your face to him. "Look at me."
You kept quiet, pulling energy from the air around you, gaining the strength taken. Part of you didn't want to leave Loki's hold. It would be easier to admit defeat, but what if it happens again?
"I forgive you," Loki whispered, tears spilling out of your eyes.
"It doesn't matter," you sighed, placing a hand on his cheek. "I don't even forgive myself."
You used your strength you push Loki down and leapt to your feet and began to run. You took a couple steps when your body seized up and you fell to the ground.
"I'm sorry," Loki whispered, picking you up from the ground. Your head bent forward and you saw the necklace glow green.
"You," all the strength in your body abandoned you, your eyes too heavy to keep open. "Misunderstandings-"
"And ass-kissing," Loki whispered, his voice sounding far away. You felt his lips pressing on the top of your head and darkness surrounded you.
"Put me down, I can walk," you struggled out of Loki's arms as he carried you back to the palace. You had tripped and sprained your ankle.
"You are injured," Loki laughed, faltering in his steps from your thrashing. "You want to injure both of us?"
"No," you huffed. "I can still walk."
"And I can carry you," Loki kissed the top of your head. "So let me."
"What kind of King would you become if I spoiled you all that time?"
"A king who loves his queen wholeheartedly," you cheeks warmed and Loki laughed. "I love you."
"I love you too," you turned to face him and kissed him on the lips, resting your head on his shoulder.
You woke up in bed, the green and dark grey covers soft and warm around you. You stretched your limbs as they felt like they hadn't moved in days, and snuggled back down. You mind began to remind you of the past events and you sat up quickly, the rush sending you back on the pillows.
Not that you minded.
"Good morning, Love," you tilted your head and saw Loki sitting in his grey loveseat, and realized you were in his room. "How did you sleep."
"Why am I here," you looked up at the ceiling, tears forming in your eyes.
"Why are you trying to punish yourself," Loki asked, you heard rustling and felt a weight press the mattress next to you.
"I hurt you," you whispered, not able to stop the tears from falling. "I messed with your memories so you didn't know what I did."
"I admit I was hurt you mistook me as an assassin," Loki's hand began combing your hair. "But it was an honest mistake."
"I should have been executed for such a mistake," you didn't want him to comfort you.
"Father must have known it was a lapse in judgement," Loki spoke softly. "He isn't the kind of person who shows mercy to undeserving people."
You couldn't help but laugh. The idea of Odin being merciful to anyone would be a miracle. Yet you were still alive.
"So can we stop with the pity party now," Loki sat you up so he could sit behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist. "Instead how about you apologize for not being there when I woke up?"
"When did you wake up," your hand began playing with the necklace around your neck.
"Two days ago," Loki began. "I had to stay in the infirmary until Stark gave me the go-ahead. By then we had your location and the captain took me to your little cabin."
"Are you okay?" You looked up at Loki, his eyes still on you.
"You tell me," Loki leaned down and kiss you gently. He began to deepen the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth for a moment before pulling away. "So are we done with the pity party?"
"It wasn't a pity party," you objected, moving away to face him.
"It was a pity party," Loki eyes were stern. "You ran off thinking 'oh woe is me, I don't deserve to be in the presence of the the most powerful and handsome man of all time'. That, my darling, is a pity party."
"I just didn't know if you still wanted me around," you began to tear up again. "I was scared you would hate me."
"Does it look like I hate you," Loki asked, pulling you back into his arms. "Surprisingly, you're more paranoid on Midgard than back home."
"Spend a few centuries here and you'll see," you laughed, wrapping your arms around Loki.
"As long as you're with me," Loki kissed the top of your head. "I can last an eternity."
