We had to use different exits to leave the Fountaneblue Villa separately. Natsume left with his car and I used the same limo to leave.

Konan sent an address to where we can rest. It was an apartment nearby left by the owners who were out of town. Really, it can be scary how much information is there in the internet that people like us can access and you wouldn't even know that we inhabited your house while you're away.

It was a small pad on the top floor. I picked the lock to enter the dark room that was only lit by the city lights reflected on the open terrace. I reached for the switch but then Natsume's voice came out of nowhere.

"Keep the lights off." He said. I flinched at the sound of even the first syllable that came out of his mouth. He was sitting by the terrace door, completely enveloped by the shadow of the walls that's why I didn't see him at once. I felt my face heating up with just the mere silhouette of him, my heart wants to wrack my rib cages open.

I honestly don't know what to say to him. I am still reeling over everything that happened a while ago. I wish there's more liquor to quench my thirst every time I will remember the kiss... his touch... his tongue.
I gulped. Shit.

Suddenly I felt very much constricted by my dress so I started rummaging through the closets for something to wear.

The whole room is an open space for a minimalist person. There's only a few clothes good for two people, clearly a man and woman. The woman's clothes are all too big for me, and the only suitable option is a pair of yoga pants that could fit, and a cozy sweater that would be oversized for me.

I tried taking off the dress but it was just impossible. There were pins on it that gives you the security that it won't give you a wardrobe malfunction, but it also means that you need assistance to wear it or take it off. I went out of the small bathroom frustrated, defeated in my thoughts that I will be wearing this tight dress to sleep tonight. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to make any sound so as not to disturb Natsume who seemed to have fallen asleep on his seat.

I can only see the shadow of the tip of his hair and I feel like the air is not enough for me to allow me to breathe normally.

And then he moved. Shit again.

He stood and turned, so now he's facing me. He paused on his feet. I can't see his face, but I'm sure as hell, my blood rushed to my face with just the sight of him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"N-nothing." I croaked.

"You flinched." He said. Yeah I did.

"Well, I thought you were sleeping..." I explained.

"Can't." He said, then he started walking. I kept my head down and noticed that he's barefooted. He was also wearing a borrowed pants. I lifted my head to look at his back when he was past me. He stopped by the fridge and took a bottle and opened it with ease. He turned to me and met my gaze, but his went from my eyes, down, down, down to my body. His lids were hooded and with the small amount of light, I can see his jaw clenching. "You should change." He said. I feel like I sense a sprinkle of distaste on his tone. I remembered how he criticized this dress a while ago like it looked horrible on me.

I rolled my eyes on him. "Look, I don't enjoy wearing this," I said, feeling the need to be defensive. "I just... can't..." I pursed my lips, frustration flooding my head. "Ugh!" I slammed the bed with my fists. You should know how hard it is to be a woman. I'm glad corsets are not mandatory in today's world!

I can see a hint of a smirk on his face, but I can't be sure. He walked towards me, took a swig from his bottle and handed it to me. I took the bottle and drank from it too. The hell! I was just kissing him a while ago, what does it matter if I drink from the same bottle!

"Can I help?" He asked. His voice sounded gentler than it usually is so I had to look up to see if it was really him. Indeed it was him, only with gentler eyes that I haven't seen before.

Suddenly, my vision was filled with a flash of random things, most of a pair of eyes looking like this. It was so fast, I wanted it to pause and remember the moment but it slipped through my mind like sand on my fingers.

I heaved a heavy sigh when I came back to reality. Natsume's hand was in front of me so I took it, and stood. I turned around so he can help me with the back of the dress. He was very silent as he unfastens the buttons.

In a swift move, he unzips it and flicked one of the straps from my shoulder. My arms instinctively clutch the front of my dress. I felt my face burning in the instant my back felt the skin of his chest.

And then I lost it. This happened before. My mind went numb and visions filled me again.

I am kissing someone, passionately. I have my arms around his dark hair.

Thump...

I can feel the touch on my skin...

Thump.

The warm breath, every one of them...

Thump.

A head on my forehead, and soft gaze from a pair of... red eyes...

Thump.

And then a kiss fell on my shoulder. His hand crawled around my waist and he pulled me closer so I am leaning on his chest, and another arm crossed my chest. His hand rested on my shoulder, caressing it with his thumb.

Every touch is familiar. I wanted to shake my head to confirm this. It is so hard to breathe now.

At once I turn to find him looking rather uncomfortable. His eyes are soft, almost like crying, and his lips were trembling.

"Natsume..." I whispered.

He suddenly pulled me for a kiss. A kiss I couldn't fight, but consented to instead.

His tongue dominated my mouth and each intense nibbling on my lips slowly clears the fog on my head.

I can clearly see myself smiling, wearing a beautiful white dress, swaying under soft incandescent fairy lights. I can see the starry night and the city lights, and the dark room.

I can see my hands reaching up to touch someone's face... A little bit more and I can see the face...

But Natsume stopped and leaned his head on my head. He was breathing laboriously. He tightly clenched his jaw as if suppressing words and he's shaking his head as if he's in pain.

"I can't barely hold myself back. You..." He exhaled. He opened his eyes and looked at me longingly. "You should go change." Then he kissed my forehead and walked away.

I sighed a heavy breath. Fuck. What was that!? I placed one of my hand and tried to stop the beating of my heart on my throat. I clearly know that there's frustration hovering on me. It was so close. I can almost see who's face I was holding.

A hot tear rolled down my cheek as I breathed a lungful of reality.

I stood and went back to the bathroom when my legs were less wiggly and changed my clothes. I stared at my reflection on the foggy mirror.

Ever since that meeting with Hotaru, I've always felt anxious with all the visions that's flooding me. Everything about this present became foggy like the face I am looking at, and the visions I doubted, those which I am not even sure of are the ones getting clearer.

I understand now why Natsume wants to get closer -- because he can also see them clearer. Is he really the guy I am with in 'that present'?

I went out and found him sitting on the same spot, staring at the city lights outside. I noticed a few bottles reflecting the light outside, but he didn't seemed drunk to me.

I took one from his side and leaned at the door, taking a swig. In a few hours, the effects of Nonoko's magic pill will fade out and I will be back to my alcohol-free life.

"I'm sorry..." I started. It was almost a whisper.

He didn't look at me and I had to wait before I can hear his soft voice. "For what?"

"I don't know... for making it hard..."

"We'll it's not supposed to be easy." He smirked, and then he looked at me blankly. "It's not your fault."

I looked away. I have to so I can breathe because his eyes looked sad and I feel like being strangled.

"It just... feels impossible..." I laughed at myself. "But I... part of me knows that they..." I waved my hand over my head. "...they are not just visions or dreams..." I gulped another mouthful of the beer.

"But I have a life here... now..." I added, and looked back at him. He looked back at me, his eyes shifting into a sadder expression. "And it's just so far from what I can see..."

He smirked and sipped on his bottle. He lifted both his eyebrows and looked at me. "I knew you'd be stubborn..." He chuckled.

I flinched at the sight. Natsume Hyuuga was chuckling.

I gotta admit he looked great!

"You always are stubborn." He said as if he knew me perfectly, and then he was back to his downcast expression.

"The life you have here and now... It's not easy to think that it isn't real?" He asked in an almost whispering manner.

"Exactly..." I answered him. He nodded without looking at me.

"I understand..." He said. "I wouldn't let go of my perfect present as well. I would be as stubborn as you are."

I honestly didn't think that he would understand. He had been bothering me nonstop these past few days, clinging to me with a motive to dig into his head, and now he's saying that he understands.

But he looks sincere when he said that. It was as if he's pulling it from his own life than from mine.

"Unlike you, I only have one perfect present, Mikan..." My heart thumped at the sound of my name. He was looking at me, soft gaze, but full of determination. "...and I will do whatever it takes to go back to it."