Author's Note – I'm happy to sneak in this chapter before I head out to Galaxy's Edge! You can expect the next update in one week.
Thank you all so very much for the support and for each and every review of this story. I would absolutely love to read some more reviews this week as I quest through Galaxy's Edge! I do try to pay attention to these suggestions when writing the story (PhoenixEmber's suggestion for a chapter title "Tongues" and Midnight_Rose7's comment about liking the dark Force playfulness in chapter 12 led to the creation of the entire last chapter. In fact, "Tongues" wasn't even outlined in my original plan at all). So do know that I am listening, I may have the main outline of the fic planned, but individual scenes are still very much flexible.
As always, check out my Tumblr at erickawrites for links to the illustrations for this chapter.
Rey woke with a shiver, every hair on the back of her neck standing on end.
The room was dark. Still night then?
But no. This was something different.
There was no moonlight, no starlight, nothing. This dark was heavy with blackness. So heavy in fact, the void seemed to feast on the light itself, sucking every last glimmer of brightness towards its center.
This was the black of infinite nothingness.
Rey recognized this place and in an instant, panic had her by the throat.
"No! No, please!" But when she screamed, it was not her voice that rang in her ears.
"Ben!?" But even as she shouted his name, the cry came in his voice. "How?"
A dream? A Force connection?
She felt something tug at Ben's consciousness and he was walking. Walking through that nothing, alone. Soon, the black abyss became streaked with white pathways, leading off into an endless web of lines and angles. He was desperately searching now for the right path, a way to be free from this place.
When Ben had first come to the World Between Worlds, he spent days in peace, unaware of the passage of time. That had changed once the Sith discovered his presence. Now, he only had brief moments of peace and endless moments of this. Running, fleeing, buying time until he could find a way out.
He sensed the abyss creeping closer, and he needed to get away before –
A voice hissed into Ben's ear, rustling like wind between dead branches. "Where do you think you're going?"
Ben whirled, finding himself face to face with the masked Sith.
Ben knew the legend of Darth Nihilus, Lord of Hunger. As the unfortunate survivor of the mass shadow generator four thousand years ago, he'd been cursed with an insatiable hunger. He was driven to consume the Force of others to feed what was left of his spirit. There was no body under that cloak, as what remained of his soul was no longer bound to a physical form, but to his mask and robes.
Ben had never believed in ghost stories.
Of course, that was before he'd died.
"You may not cross here," the spirit rasped.
This wasn't the first time Nihilus had tormented him in this way. But the Sith demanded both parts of the Dyad, so Nihilus had been forced to simply toy with him from time to time, never allowed to consume him completely.
Ben closed his eyes, suspending himself in the Force, drawing it in and releasing it in a wave of power to push Nihilus away before sprinting in the opposite direction.
He met an invisible wall and staggered back, only just managing to keep his feet.
The Sith never travelled alone in this place. Otherwise, Ben would have a chance of a fair fight. He could just see them now, the spirits of the other Sith hanging behind in the shadows, strengthening Nihilus and keeping Ben's Force contained. He felt the web of their darkness tighten around him, and like a scalefish caught in a net, he thrashed hopelessly against it.
The emptiness hit him like a durasteel fist to his chest. He'd never felt anything like Nihilus' Force drain, and it only seemed to become more powerful each time he used it. Ben winced, drawing back, tensing with the dread of what was yet to come.
Ben's scream rang painfully in his own ears as the specter wrapped dark fingers around his emotions, around his very soul and began to gorge on anything he found inside. Darth Nihilus was a vulture and Ben the corpse, as the Sith picked everything clean, tearing away emotions like ligaments clinging to bone, plucking away every piece of Ben's heart until nothing remained. Feeding. Feasting. Ripping the life from his chest, wrenching the breath from his lungs, and Ben crashed to his knees.
Nihilus only laughed, a terrible breathy sound like the scraping of fingernails against the inside of his own skull.
"You won't stop her fall, Solo," he said. "And eventually I will be the one to devour both of your souls."
His voice was coming closer.
Ben's chest burned with the effort of breathing and he wasn't sure he could survive another soul rending drain from Nihilus.
A dim hope pierced through his foggy consciousness.
The Bond. He could break free if he could only reach her. She could be his lifeline. Force, but she was probably still asleep. Maybe if he called to her loud enough.
"Rey!"
Rey woke with a start, trying to grab for the fist that was pounding against her ribs, only to find that it was her own throbbing heartbeat.
"Ben?"
Had it been a nightmare?
She closed her eyes and tried to focus on him.
Nothing.
Maybe it had been just a dream.
A tug on the Bond.
Fear. A second racing heartbeat.
It wasn't a dream.
Rey focused on their connection, willing Ben to be with her. She imagined him here, in her arms and pulled hard, using every bit of Force to wrench him away from the horrors she'd seen. Her jaw clenched painfully as she strained to call on more energy before she finally recognized the thin thread of something there, and felt a tiny nudge of a response, a light brush of a hand against hers. It lasted only seconds, and then it was gone, and that thread faded back to nothing once again.
Rey exhaled, waiting. For the longest time just listening, to hear something, to get a hint from the Bond. She had no idea what she was waiting for exactly, just that she couldn't move until she knew Ben was okay.
The assurance of his safety never came, despite several attempts to pull again at their connection.
Faint wisps of pink dawn light filtered in through the windows and she used it to get her bearings. She lay on the couch, draped in a blanket she recognized from the Falcon, clutching Ben's shirt which had been wadded under her head like a pillow. Her heart contracted at the thought of Ben, rising without waking her, and tending to her in this way. She could picture him tenderly tucking a blanket around her shoulders and offering her his shirt for comfort. And he'd done it mere hours before being ripped apart at the hands of the Sith. The thought made her blood boil.
Again, she'd been powerless to help him.
She thought back to the way he'd touched her last night, how he'd met her in darkness, passing no judgement before showing her it was possible to find a balance. He'd offered her his light along with a pleasure she hadn't thought possible, then he'd held her as she fell asleep in his arms. What he gave her last night would surely be fuel for her fantasies forever.
But now, with the dawn infusing its chill into the stonework studio, and without Ben to draw warmth from, Rey felt the cold creeping back in. The ice was only hardened further as she recalled the frantic pounding of Ben's heart as he ran, the shredding of his soul under the power of the Sith, and Rey could stand it no longer.
She pushed herself to sit, finding her regular clothes in a tidy pile folded at her feet. She dressed quickly, never letting go of Ben's shirt gripped tight in her hand. She had a mission. She would get to Lothal and find her way to him.
Ben had hidden the extent of his torture from her, but now that she'd seen it, she vowed that he would not endure another minute of pain at the hands of the Sith without her. She would save him or die trying.
As she crossed the office to the door, something tugged darkly at the back of her mind. It stirred those feelings to the surface almost instantly – the fear, the raw empty place.
The Palpatine saber.
She followed the whispers with her eyes, seeing the small chest on the desk that hadn't been there last night. She recognized it from the Falcon, she'd used it to stow away parts and screws, odds and ends. Did Ben place it there to keep her from having to touch the saber?
Slow steps carried her toward the chest and she placed a cautious hand on the steely lid, running fingers over the latch.
She opened it, finding the weapon shining unnaturally in the dim light. Her eyes roamed over the polished electrum casing, the golden accents swirling across the hilt, the phrik alloy ridging at the pommel. She swallowed, sensing its power twining around her Force, like a curling finger beckoning her closer.
She squeezed Ben's shirt tight in her fist and nearly slammed the lid shut, wanting so much to lock the chest and throw away the key, to sever all ties with her family history. But something stopped her. Ben's pain, feeling it as her own down the Bond. How could she allow that to happen again? How could she damn him to face that alone?
She couldn't.
And even though she knew it was a risk, she had to hold the saber. Because if she wanted to find a way to the Sith, she would need it as her guide. The dark side was not something to be feared. Ben had only cautioned that she not let it control her. She would just have to stay in control. It was as simple as that.
She braced herself for the voices as she opened a shaking hand to seize the weapon. But unlike the first time she held it, the saber remained silent in her grasp. She clipped it onto her belt opposite her own saber and tried not to overthink this as she crossed the room. Maybe when she was closer to Lothal she would hear the Sith again. Or maybe the weapon wasn't so dangerous after all.
The fact that she was breathing heavily when she reached the office door was the only hint that she was still afraid. Her shoulders heaved with one last steadying exhalation as she pushed down the remaining fear and twisted the handle to face the day.
The others were already awake in the main studio. The low drone of conversation buzzed in the air as duffel bags and backpacks were slung over shoulders and boxes hefted into already full arms. Maz was balancing a stack of datapads in her palm, directing traffic, sending anything they'd come with down the alley at the side of the studio to her ship.
Rey spotted Poe in the mix and offered a smile, weaker than she would have liked, but better than she'd managed yesterday.
He offered a full grin in response. "Feeling better?"
"Worlds better," she lied. Maybe if she just said it out loud she would eventually feel the truth of it.
"Ready to see what we can find on Lothal?"
"You guys don't have to come," she began. "I mean if Maz –"
He raised a brow.
"I know, I know… we're all going together."
"Damn right," he said, elbowing her in the side and pulling a bag over his shoulder, leading the way toward the back alley.
She followed him to the Falcon, greeting a particularly chirpy BB-8 on the loading ramp and heading to the main cabin. Finn was standing with his back to her, eyes transfixed on the box of saber parts still resting on the Dejarik table.
"Morning," she said, placing the blanket and Ben's shirt into her bunk behind the lounge and setting the empty chest down on the table.
Rey noticed Ben's saber and a piece of paper in Finn's hand as he turned to greet her.
He was wearing what vaguely resembled a smirk on his face. "So, I take it your talk with Ben went pretty good last night?" he said, lip still curled into what was, now, most definitely a smirk.
"Yes…" she said, drawing the word out into a question. "How did you know?"
"Let's just say he never taught me how to block out the Force."
His teasing expression suddenly made much more sense and heat crept up the back of her neck.
"You – uh…" She avoided his eyes and stared hard at the wall behind him, scratching at the back of her head, "I'm sorry if you…"
There was no way she could squeeze another word past the embarrassment locking her voice in her throat. Her last hope was to bury her face in a hand, trying to retain a thread of dignity by hiding the stain of blush that had spread everywhere by now.
"Don't worry, I came to sleep on the Falcon. What you and your…boyfriend do isn't any of my business," he paused awkwardly on the word, as though not quite sure what to call him. "I am glad to see he talked some sense into you, though." He looked her up and down as though her physical appearance alone could confirm her state of mind. "By the way, I never thought it would be him talking sense into you."
He was shaking his head now, glancing down at Ben's saber in his own hand.
"What are you doing with that?" She kept her tone light, trying hard to ignore the residual embarrassment of their awkward exchange.
Finn held out a small piece of parchment folded neatly in half. "He left a note."
And the cold touch of fear snaked through her thoughts in that moment. Why would he leave Finn a note? Why not her? It was just like last night when he'd gone to Finn first.
Rey shook the thoughts away, knowing they weren't rational. Ben had given her everything he could last night, and the logical part of her knew he cared for her more than anything.
He had his reasons to talk to Finn, and Rey had to try to trust him.
She took the note between two fingers and unfolded it to inspect the writing. Scrawled across the page, in familiar, graceful strokes of ink, was a short, hand-written message.
Finn,
Please hold onto this for me. I hope you can get some use out of it as Rey continues your training. I have a feeling we may need you at Lothal. Thank you for always watching over Rey when I can't be there. She is everything to me.
Ben
She read over the words again. Everything to me. She thought she knew that but seeing this written confession to someone else… stars.
Rey smiled, staring down at the handwriting again. No one ever wrote on paper anymore, everything was always on datapads or holo recordings. The fact that Ben held onto this ancient tradition warmed her, and she swallowed hard against the emotion rising up to choke her words. It brought back their night together in the bunk, gazing up at his calligraphy.
Finn was staring hard at her when she finally shook herself from her thoughts. He took a step forward, his brows drawing together. "Chewie was right," he said. "You do love him."
Rey could only stare back, biting her lip.
He studied her face a moment longer before he offered a strained smile, his expression laced with apprehension, as he strode toward her with arms extended. "Oh, Rey." She walked into his embrace, appreciating that though he still looked concerned, at least he was trying to understand. "I still can hardly stand him," he said, speaking next to her ear as they hugged. "He's snarkier than a Dug, and I will never forget what he did to you on Starkiller, but it's obvious he cares about you now. He does seem different." He stepped back, gripping her shoulders. "If he means this much to you, we'll get him back."
Rey clutched her friend in an embrace tighter than the first. "Thank you."
Poe, Rose, and Chewie rounded the corner into the main cabin. Poe was already downloading his conversation with Maz to the entire room before anyone had a chance to get a word in.
"Maz is meeting Lando and Jannah near Mon Calamari," Poe said. "They're going to discuss what to do about the Fleet. I told her our priority right now was investigating these Sith."
Then, as if just now seeing Rey and Finn, Poe cocked his head. "What are we hugging for?"
Rey stepped out of Finn's arms, deciding how best to answer the question, but Rose was already commenting.
"You seem in better spirits, today." Rose's wide smile was infectious, and Rey's lips felt compelled to follow suit, though her own smile fizzled halfway.
"I am," Rey said, forcing the corners of her lips up the rest of the way.
"I wonder why?" Rose said, winking.
Oh, for the love of the Maker. Who didn't know about last night? This time, there was no point hiding her blush, because she was sure it had spread across her neck, cheeks, and all the way to the tips of her ears.
Poe chuckled heartily. "That was you?" His chuckle slowly evolved into an out-of-control rush of a laugh, and he was practically doubled over now. "Damn, Rey! The guys thought… well, I won't tell you what the guys in the mechanic's bunk were saying." Poe's laughter waned, but he obviously hadn't had enough of this particular topic. "With a ghost? Wow. That's, well… you know, Leia used to say the Force works in mysterious ways."
Finn blew a rude sound through his lips as he tried to hold back a laugh and failed. Even Chewie snorted the Wookiee version of a chuckle.
Rose was doing a slightly better job stifling her laughter, and even managed to change the subject by pointing to the lightsaber in Finn's hand. "Isn't that Ben's saber he was working on?"
"Yeah," Finn said. "He finished it last night."
"Wow, he did have a busy night." Poe's deadpan delivery caused a new eruption of laughter, and a fresh blush colored her cheeks.
Finn was still trying to breathe evenly when he continued. "Yeah, well. He finished it and left it for me to hold onto so Rey can help me with a little training."
"Let's see it, then," Poe said, with a quick nod in the weapon's direction.
Rey's heart sank and she tried desperately not to let her disappointment muddle her perfectly orchestrated smile. The problem was, Rey had held onto this silly little idea that Ben would be the one to hold the saber when it was ignited for the first time. It was Ben's creation after all. Healing his old crystal and creating something new, it just seemed so important. And Ben not being here to bask in his own achievement… the thought of it left her wilted. But he had made it clear that he wanted Finn to use it, so, she tried to let go of the idealistic vision.
"Go ahead!" Rose waved him on with an excited sweeping motion, "I want to see it, too."
Finn gripped the hilt and extended the weapon in front of his body, his eyes glinting with the thrill of anticipation. When he flicked the switch to activate the plasma blade, Rey was instantly entranced.
In his hand, burned a blade of pure starlight.
The size of the weapon was the same as Kylo Ren's and it seemed impossibly large in Finn's hand. The shape too, was much the same, retaining the old blade's signature cross-guards. But this saber didn't hiss and spit like an angry sarlacc. It was stable, balanced.
This blade was a work of art.
Throat tight, and lips quivering, Rey tried to hide the tears welling in her eyes. But Ben's lightsaber was magnificent, and she was having a hard time holding back her awe. He'd healed the crystal, and this was the product. A pure white saber.
Finn tested the weapon's balance, cutting through the air in controlled sweeps and Rey could only follow the blade through tear-clouded vision, completely transfixed by its perfection. Everyone was silent for a few reverent moments, unable to break the spell cast by Ben's lightsaber.
"I didn't think they came in white," Poe said, looking sideways at Rose and Chewie. "Do they come in white?"
Chewie growled a comment about Ben always having to do things differently.
Rose was smiling. "It's beautiful."
Rey's heart swelled with pride, wishing Ben was here to see their reactions. "Yes, it is."
