Author's Note: Galaxy's Edge was amazing! I built a lightsaber and my son made his own droid. Kylo asked my friend's son to join the Dark Side and I nearly died. We rode Rise of the Resistance and Smuggler's Run twice and I absolutely loved it. I've decided I want to live there. I have spoken.
Next update by midweek I hope! Thank you all for the encouraging comments! They continue to drive me to keep writing despite work being absolutely insane right now! You guys are the best!
Rey spent most of the trip to Lothal working with Finn, fine-tuning his ability to reach out with the Force. If they were going to find the way into the World Between Worlds, Finn would need to learn everything he could. Ezra had said he'd found the gateway by listening, so she figured the more "ears" they had when looking for the lost Jedi Temple, the better.
Not only that, but training Finn had been a good distraction from her own dark feelings. That icy coil of balled-up fury lay just below the surface, buried beneath the tense smile she tried to wear for her friends. She was thankful for any diversion that would keep her from thinking of the Sith and what they were doing to Ben.
Finn stood in Jedi Ready position in the Falcon's main hold, Ben's blade held vertically in his grip, poised to slash. Rey tossed another piece of scrap toward Finn who swiped at the flying metal, slicing through it hastily before assuming the ready position once more. He was improving in his ability to stretch out with the Force, wielding Ben's saber against stray nuts and bolts with ease, even with the blast shield down. The problem was, the graceful white blade still seemed so unwieldly in Finn's grasp. He needed a lesson on mechanics and Rey was at a loss on where to begin. She was a Jedi, but she was no Master.
Something was off about Finn's positioning, but she couldn't put her finger on it. He seemed to be holding his feet apart, bending his knees, focusing on the target… it was just, Rey's style had developed before she even knew the name of any of the Jedi combat forms or any of the specific zones of attack. She'd learned to hold herself in position by instinct. Finn still held himself like a stormtrooper, disciplined and rigid. He'd need to unlearn some of those instincts. He needed instruction from someone who understood the mechanics from a scholarly perspective.
He needed a real teacher.
And for the hundredth time that day, she wished Ben were here.
"I think that's enough for now," Rey said, setting down the bucket of scrap. "You've really improved already."
"Just once more," Finn protested. "Try two in succession this time."
Come on. Ben's whispered voice in her ear had her stomach fluttering in an instant. He's just warming up.
The faint outline of his hand materialized, running up her arm and drawing heat to the surface of her skin almost immediately.
"Mmmmm." She hummed her appreciation, knowing Finn couldn't see with the visor down.
The rest of Ben's body, faint but solid appeared behind her, wrapping arms around her, and he bent to press a kiss against the top of her head.
She relaxed into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against her back and turning her head to rest her cheek against him. She inhaled deeply, letting his scent wash over her, carrying with it a tide of relief that relaxed her tense muscles. He was really here. She closed her eyes, delighting in the simple joy of his presence.
She breathed a quiet question against his chest. "Are you okay?"
His reply was barely louder than the pulse drumming in her ears. I am now.
"Well?" Finn asked from behind his helmet, raising his voice as if he'd been trying to get her attention for a while.
Ben bent to snatch the bucket from the ground and a mischievous quirk of one eyebrow hinted at his intention. He grabbed a whole handful of scrap and chucked it in Finn's direction who reacted with wild swipes of the weapon. Flailing and cursing, his blade connected with nothing but empty air as he was pelted with spare parts.
It's a light saber, not a fly swatter, Ben teased, now loud enough for Finn to hear. And Rey could only stare, dumbfounded.
Ben, who had been tortured to the very brink of his body's limits only hours ago, was now making jokes. He wore a devilish smirk as he watched for Finn's reaction, but Rey didn't miss how Ben stole a glance her way. And with that expectant look came the realization that this was for her. The sarcasm, the teasing … he was trying to make her laugh.
Of course, it was for her. Ben had never complained of anything that happened at the hands of the Sith, never shown a hint of fear, making every moment they had together as joyful as possible. He was putting on a different kind of mask for her, one that would hide his suffering completely and keep her at ease.
Rey wanted to kiss him and punch him at the same time.
Before she could do either, Finn responded stiffly to Ben's jab, pushing up the blast shield, flicking off the saber, and placing his hands on his hips in an over-dramatic display of outrage.
And Rey did laugh then - a bubbling sound that was born of anxiety, but ended in something much more free and light by the time it escaped her lips. It was a release of tension, and it felt good to smile a real smile, if only for a few seconds.
"You dirty son of a Bantha," Finn growled, lip curled in frustration as he rubbed at a sore spot on his shoulder.
Ben stepped toward Finn wearing a theatrical pout. You wound me, Finn.
"Oh, switch off."
Ben smiled as he held his hand out for his saber and Finn proffered the weapon. Ben flicked it to life again and the warm hum of the balanced blade sang through the Falcon's corridors.
It was so perfect in his hand, the awe she'd felt when she'd first glimpsed it poured over her again and Rey couldn't help but close the distance to Ben, wrapping an arm around his waist and raising to her tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "It's magnificent." She nibbled a small kiss against his earlobe and stepped back quickly just in time to see Finn choke back a fake gag.
She felt a rush of pride down the Bond, followed by the immediate heat of desire, which had visibly dappled Ben's cheeks with color, even through the faint glow of the Force that hung around him.
An intense reaction for such a light touch.
Ben's ears were sensitive… she filed away that knowledge for later. She'd have to remember to pay them more attention next time.
Thank you. Ben said, trying to sound casual with his response to her compliment while Finn was watching, but Rey didn't miss the grit in his tone and the fact that he'd already swallowed three times and adjusted his stance twice.
Rey wondered what color he would turn if she kissed slowly along the outer shell of his ear, how his voice would sound if she sucked on his earlobe and threaded hands through his hair, all the while whispering with warm breath against his skin about how much she wanted him.
Oh stars, she couldn't wait to watch him unravel beneath her touch. Payback for what he'd done to her.
He was chewing his lip now, curling and uncurling his fingers into fists and Rey wondered if he was sensing the direction of her thoughts.
Chewie rumbled a greeting from behind her and Ben jumped a bit, obviously jolted back to reality. Rose had joined them too, hanging back with Chewie to lean against a bulkhead, likely to see what the laughing had been about earlier.
Ben pressed his lips together and exhaled, focusing again on Finn. Rey couldn't help but feel a tiny bit smug as she observed the sheer amount of effort Ben was putting forth to simply concentrate on what he wanted to say. Jedi Ready position is the basis for most combat Forms. Of the seven forms, Shii-Cho is the easiest to begin with. You should work first on learning the attack zones and choosing the correct parry. Rey, can you grab the Chronicles?
Rey knew the text he spoke of. The Chronicles of Brus-Bu was the most practical of all of the Jedi texts she'd read, having used its guidance to heal the crystal inAnakin's lightsaber. Not only that, but the old tome had several helpful diagrams outlining lightsaber combat techniques including zones of attack and an overview of several of the earliest combat forms.
She pulled the old tome from a compartment in the crew's quarters and rejoined the others. Ben was already giving an introduction to the zones of combat now, demonstrating an appropriate parry for each attack.
Ben fell back a few paces before drawing a circle in the air with his saber in the space just in front of Finn's head. This is zone one. Any attacks to zone one will be in the form of overhand chops to the head. He brought his saber down in a slow arc from above. So the resulting parry should be a horizontal block.
Rey set the text on a stack of storage bins and stepped forward with her saber, demonstrating the parry. Then she passed her weapon over to Finn, allowing him to try the block.
Your right arm and side are zone two. Ben brought his weapon across to cut at Finn's right side. Since an attack to this zone will be a horizonal side swipe, the logical counter is the vertical parry.
He let Finn practice each parry in a slow, sweeping motion to feel the way his body had to shift its weight to maintain control. See if you can sense my next move with the Force.
Ben went through all six zones of attack, one by one, showing the counter to each strike and practicing them several times. He pulled out the text, pointing to corresponding diagrams that reinforced his teaching. He ended with zones five and six – the legs, which were attacked in low swiping movements and countered with drop parries where the saber hilt was held at the waist. Finn was fascinated, asking for him to repeat the attacks again and again, faster and faster, as he practiced each parry.
Rey's heart swelled as she stepped back to join Rose and Chewie against the bulkhead to watch the lesson. Leia had tried to teach Rey the basics of combat stances and forms, but had eventually settled for the fact that Rey was a hybrid of forms and would never truly understand, in a scholarly fashion, what she'd managed to learn by instinct. Ben however, seemed to know exactly which mistakes Finn would make before he made them. He went through these motions like one who had taught them several times and she wondered how many padawans he'd helped train at Luke's temple.
Rey was completely transfixed by him. Every move of his body pulled her in, demanding her attention. The way his eyes gleamed with pride, reflecting the light of his saber when Finn perfectly executed a maneuver, the way his hair fell across his forehead when he leaned to adjust Finn's stance, the casual rake of his hand through though those midnight waves, ugh… it did something to her. Her heart was beating faster with anticipation just watching him. It took everything she had not to run to him, to demand his attention on her instead. Force, she was completely powerless to stop the yearning tightness in her chest and the dizzy weightlessness his very presence caused.
Rey stood watching, struck by everything she'd learned of Ben Solo. She was awed by the way he completely ignored his own pain, instead, choosing to bring her happiness through laughter. She was fascinated by the endearing vastness of his knowledge of the Force, the quirky charm of his scholarly pursuits as a young man, and the way his physical presence completely dominated any space he was in. All of it together hit her at once. Though Chewie and Finn had seen it first, it finally struck her with enough force that she could admit it to herself, she could form the words in her mind.
She was in love with him.
Rey was in love with Ben Solo.
Ben stiffened, in the middle of his review of each parry and he stepped back, turning to look at her. He was drawing on the Bond, pulling for more of the feelings she must have been sending without even being aware.
Rey swallowed hard before offering a soft smile and opening herself to their connection, sending a pulse of that same tightness in her chest, that dizzy weightless feeling she'd had as she watched him, letting him feel the warmth of her emotions flow down the Bond.
But at that moment, something cinched tight around the Bond, like a frozen noose contracting around the pulse of life between them. Ben staggered back as Rey clutched her chest, whispers filling her mind.
A shrill alert from the cockpit indicated they'd come out of hyperspace.
"Are you okay?" Finn had deactivated Rey's blade and was darting worried glances between the two of them.
"The Sith," Rey said, hardly recognizing her own raspy voice, tight with anger at the intrusion.
When she looked back, Ben had disappeared, his saber clattering to the ground. Finn picked it up and handed Rey's weapon back to her as they all rushed to the cockpit. Rey was still seething as she took the open co-pilot's chair next to Poe. Out the viewport, Lothal hung suspended against the black expanse of space, a patchwork of blues and browns, streaked by clouds that could have been painted on by an artist's smooth brushstrokes. Its beauty was a stark contrast to the strangling feeling that was gripping her in the most sacred part of herself. The Bond.
There was definitely something on this planet.
"Captain Kin said our best bet is here." Poe leaned forward on the edge of the pilot's seat, pointing to a point on the holomap floating over the console.
"Northern Lothal?" Rey asked. And if she hadn't been so kriffing distracted by everything, she might have thought to speak with Kin herself.
"That's what he thought, unless you have a better idea," Poe said.
Rey sighed, wishing they would just trust her to fly by instinct, but Poe always seemed to want to have some coordinates in mind to begin with. The good news was, if Captain Kin was involved, his coordinates were probably close anyway. He'd been very interested in the Sacred Texts when he'd first seen Rey reading them. It turned out he had datapads full of facts and figures about the Jedi Order. He was what Leia called, a collector of facts. And Kin's facts were seldom wrong.
So Rey settled back, trying to appear at ease as Poe worked the Falcon's controls and guided them to the agreed upon coordinates.
As if to prove his point, Kin's location turned out to be very close. It had taken them to the northern reaches of Lothal, where the grasslands met tundra. Out the viewport, Rey noticed the plants, the grass, even the earth itself was leeched of color here, as though the cold had frozen any hint of brightness from the terrain. Wind rolled across the thin grass in waves, giving the land a rippling pulse and Rey had the sense that this place was breathing. Soon, the pull of the Force became a humming in her ears, joined by a pressure in her chest, and Rey knew her suspicions were correct.
She closed her eyes, reaching deep into that web of balance and felt something enormous, pulsing with light and dark.
"There!"
Poe cocked an eyebrow, following her pointed finger. "You mean that endless field that looks just the same as the one we just passed, which was also identical to the one before that?"
Finn's lip twitched, obviously trying not to laugh as he leaned over her seat.
Rey smacked him on the shoulder and Poe relented, pulling at the Falcon's controls and circling back to where she had pointed.
Chewie roared something about Poe's rough landing before they disembarked by way of the loading ramp and stood gazing out over the endless undulating grasslands.
BB-8 chirped. "Yeah. Don't ask me," Poe said.
The wind whipped over Rey's clothes and through her hair, teasing out strands from the sides of her buns. The icy chill stung her skin and Rose was already clomping back up the ramp to the Falcon.
"No one mentioned this place was going to be so cold!" Rose said.
They all went to retrieve warmer gear, all except Chewbacca who stood looking as smug as a Wookiee could look. Rey shrugged on a long, dark-grey cloak Leia had given her before one of their Resistance recruiting missions to Mygeeto. Leia had always thought Rey needed to do a bit more with her wardrobe and tried to nudge her in that direction whenever she could. She could still hear Leia's words on the matter…
Dress for the impression you want to have on others. Your appearance is your greeting and an unspoken conversation. Do not underestimate the power of those first words.
With the cloak heavy on her shoulders, she wished for Leia's advice right now. And not about clothing.
Rey's footsteps rang loud against the loading ramp, the knot of cold growing stronger in the Force as she worried about what she was dragging her friends into. If this didn't work, the best-case scenario was a wasted trip. Worst case… she would unleash the wrath of centuries old Sith.
No pressure at all.
She clenched her fists, striding forward with false confidence across the open field and squinting her eyes against the hazy sunlight. Her friends trailed behind her, silent except for the chattering of teeth. The wind continued whipping relentlessly, and she pulled her hood on to block out the stinging bite of the cold against her cheeks. The hiss of each blustery current through the grasses and low shrubs was soon joined by those familiar whispers in her mind. The Sith.
She reached out, feeling Finn's presence in the Force at her side, trying to listen. Next to the whispers, she heard other voices. Light. The Jedi.
"What is that?" Finn asked, pointing a shaking finger in the direction of a small hill over Rey's left shoulder. A large four-legged creature had risen over the hill. It stood easily as tall as a man, its silvery coat shining in the sunlight, and Rey could swear its keen yellow eyes were watching her. Pinning her in place.
Soon, more joined it, not as big as the first silver-coated animal, but equally menacing. Their appearance caused a ripple in the Force that prickled the hair on her arms. Their coats were a dozen varied shades of white, black, and silver and their yellow eyes all shone with the same timeless secret.
"Loth-wolves," Poe said, his voice mixing with the sibilance of the wind and hanging in the air like a bleak warning. When the others looked to him for further explanation, he shrugged. "Maz didn't say much, just that we might see them here. She said to trust them."
Rose leveled a perturbed gaze in his direction. "And you decided to tell us there might be giant wolves here after the giant wolves show up?"
Poe stared out at the creatures, as though making a decision. "Well that big one could have eaten us already, so it seems Maz was right. They don't mean us any harm."
"If your method of judging the danger of a situation involves waiting to see if we are eaten, I'm not sure I can accept your leadership any longer," Rose said, resting a hand on the blaster at her hip.
Chewie felt for his bowcaster and Poe, too, had a grip on his blaster as the wolves continued to stare hard at Rey. Finally, the largest Loth-wolf shifted its gaze to Finn and then, as one, they turned and began padding down the back of their hill the way they'd come.
Finn was following them before Rey could even wave a hand for the others to do exactly that. Her friend's eyes darted back and forth over the landscape. He felt it too. The electricity, the way the energy mixed in the air.
"What is this?" he asked, turning a wide-eyed gaze in her direction.
"I don't know," she said honestly, bowing her head to keep the blowing dust out of her eyes as she trailed behind the wolves.
The land eventually smoothed, the hills spreading into a flat depression wide enough to hold twenty Falcons side by side. Having reached the middle of this hollow, the wolves turned to their group again and Rey felt their intention through the Force, though they didn't speak.
"It's here," Finn said, confirming what she'd already sensed.
The wolves turned to them once more, and Rey could swear the largest one nodded, a barely imperceptible dip of its long snout before it led the others away, sprinting and finally disappearing beyond the hills of Lothal's wind-whipped grassy horizon.
Standing where the wolves had stood, grappling with what the kriff to do next, she suddenly felt much too small to affect any change whatsoever. Next to the immensity of the Force here, she was an insignificant sand flea grappling with the problem of how to move mountains.
"Well that was weird," Poe said from somewhere far behind her. "Now what?"
"We listen," Finn said, looking to Rey. "Right?"
But she was already trying, because somehow she could sense Ben was closer here. The Bond was still gripped tight in an invisible fist of ice, but his presence was nearby. And she had the horrible feeling that if only she knew what to do, she could get to him.
She closed her eyes, focusing on the pulsating energy, feeling the immensity of its pull, coming from just below her feet. She tried to grasp for it, to tug at the threads of that energy and she felt something shift.
"Focus on the source of the energy and pull," she said to Finn through clenched teeth.
She could sense his Force searching, brushing against hers and fumbling to grasp that energy. He did join in pulling, but still, something wasn't right. It wasn't moving. She doubled her efforts, pressing her eyes closed, reaching out physically with a tense hand to grasp for the energy below their feet. She was breathless by the time she finally stumbled back, unsuccessful.
She growled, kicking at a sickly shrub, the sound of her frustration swallowed almost instantly by the howling wind.
That was when she felt it, that cold fear and anger in her core beginning to swell with power, and Rey could practically hear Ben screaming for her help. She needed to get to him, to find a way to break through to him.
She reached underneath her cloak, the chill air stinging her nose and throat and she breathed deeply as she seized the Palpatine saber at her belt. The voices sighed in relief and something clicked into place. The saber became a conduit for her chaotic emotions, gathering that icy ball of anger she'd hidden away, before unraveling it and lashing it to the Force itself. As she closed her eyes, she felt the icy pulse of pure power to the time of her own heartbeat, and she reached below the earth to search for the energy she was seeing. She would open that gateway.
The dry layer of dirt cracked and shifted below their feet and Rey let herself go deeper, thinking of nothing but her rage. Fear. Desperation, as she clawed for more of the Force and drew it into herself. But nothing more happened. Nothing moved.
Rey screamed.
Why was it never enough? Why couldn't she ever get to him?
"Rey." Finn's voice came from somewhere behind her, but her skin was tingling with the icy chill of darkness and she continued to pull.
Lothal's cold wind wrapped around her, transforming the burning trail of tears running down her cheeks into stinging cold streams of ice. And still she pulled for more power.
"Rey, stop!"
Finn's voice was so far away now, drowned out by the screaming rage in her veins. Carried away by the glacial flow of her fury as she continued to channel the Dark Side, feeling pieces of herself being swept away by the current.
A hand gripped her arm and still, she didn't slow the flow of the Force. She couldn't stop reaching for the gateway. She didn't even open her eyes, not wanting to break concentration. It was only when something cracked ominously below her feet and the solid ground below her shifted, forcing her to stumble back, that she finally opened her eyes. The ground writhed and twisted like a living thing beneath her, rumbling menacingly as it threatened to swallow her whole.
