Well, this is a chapter. I hope I don't anger too many readers. If it helps, the reveal is just a few chapters away…

For anyone reading my notes, my personal life has been a wild ride, and it doesn't look like it's slowing down. However, writing and the amazing group of fans that participate in the Senshi/Shitennou Mini Bang have been keeping my not only hopeful but writing. They are such a lovely corner of this fandom.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to update with the next chapter in two weeks, however, it's a new chapter I added during revision, and the plot point has been sticky for me to get right. If not, there's also an interlude between this chapter and chapter 26 that I think y'all will really enjoy.

I want to say a special thank you shout out to all my commenters. Y'all really mean more to me than you could ever imagine: tryntee13, angeljme, Moon Bunny, merendinoemiliano, TropicalRemix, La Pisces, Tina Century, AliceNotInWL, Celestial Cat, Sailor Saiyan007, and Lulubelle09.

Alright then, on with the story.

Sailor Moon X by Starling Sinclair

Chapter 25: Time's Up

March 10, 2020

XXX

When Usagi was done debriefing everyone about the most recent attack on Crown, she was surprised Minako wasn't angry with her. She'd embellished her hero antics a little bit, gotten a chuckle from Makoto about juggling her identity, and even Rei seemed pleased that the threat had been neutralized quickly. Minako, on the other hand, been suspiciously quiet the entire time. Well, except on the prospect of bringing Tuxedo Kamen into the fold. That was a hard no.

The meeting concluded, and Rei shuffled the girls out of the Shrine so that she could finish her evening chores. Ami and Makoto were headed out of dinner and beers, and Usagi was considering joining them when Minako asked her to stay behind for just a moment.

Usagi cringed. She knew her leader's silence had been too good to be true.

"Okay, I know I lost the crystal…" Usagi began.

"It's not that."

"Then what? What have I done so wrong this time?" The Senshi of the Moon turned to face her leader. The moonlight and garden LEDs cast a soft glow in the courtyard. This high up on the hill, the sounds of the city faded away, and the chirps of insects awakening in the spring buzzed around them.

"You haven't done anything wrong," Minako said, then sighed. "How many times have you been caught by a Youma while you were with Mamoru?"

Usagi blinked. "Um, I don't know…"

"Think about it."

So she did. Their first date had been interrupted by a youma attack, but before that, there had been the evil flowers at the club. Then the cruise, Ryu's phone call, Yumeno's portrait session, and now Crown. In the handful of months she'd been a Senshi, Mamoru had been around for monsters an unusual amount of times. As if, like her, the Dark Kingdom was drawn to him. Her heart stilled. Or was it the other way around? Had he been in so many close calls because of her?

The weight of Minako's question settled on her.

"If I just told him…" Usagi started.

Minako shook her head. "It wouldn't change the danger you place him in. He knows or he doesn't know, it's all a risk. I wasn't so different from you once. It didn't matter that he knew, he still ended up dead."

A chill ran down Usagi's spine. She knew a little about Minako's tragic lost love. Somehow, she'd let herself believe that it couldn't happen to her. They were different.

Minako walked closer to Usagi and looked up at the moon. "I love Mamoru, and I want you both to have a happily ever after. But... "

"But you two fought together for years…"

"And it was never with the frequency that seems to be happening now," Minako retorted. "Alan knew what he was getting into, and it didn't matter. I don't want to see the same thing happen to Mamoru."

Usagi didn't want to see the same thing happen to Mamoru either.

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

She felt Minako's hand on her shoulder. "I don't have an easy solution, but, the longer you wait, the worse it's going to be." The Senshi of Love squeezed Usagi's shoulder before starting down the step, done with the conversation.

Usagi stood there a moment, staring at her leader disappearing down the steps. Love conquered all, right? Right?

XXX

The next morning, Motoki was meeting with contractors offsite, which meant Usagi was waiting for the insurance adjuster at Crown. She leaned against the broken door, watching citizens of Tokyo wondering by on their morning routines in between absently catching Pokemon on her phone. On one hand, she was excited to be given this new level of responsibility. On the other, she wondered if just staying on the job was making it worse. Was she the reason Crown had been targeted twice so far that year?

Minako had spent the morning training session discussing how they could better track down the remaining Rainbow Crystal Carriers. Surely, Usagi's Moon Stick had to be the key. She'd offered to leave the weapon with the other Senshi thinking that perhaps if she didn't have it the forces of evil would be less drawn to her. And surely, they could use it without her. At least when it came to tracking down Crystal Carriers, right? She was a simple phone call away if they actually found anyone, and therefore there was no danger in her taking a more passive role. That's what she told herself anyway.

"Ahem, Usagi?"

"Jadeite, what are you doing here?" she asked, blinking away the surprise.

"I didn't know how else to reach you," he answered sheepishly. "And I'm sorry that your Arcade got ruined again."

"Well, it seems lately I'm a magnet for Dark Kingdom attacks."

Jadeite leaned on the wall beside her, tucking his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "It's not surprising actually. Your connection to all of this runs much deeper than you realize."

"Is being especially cryptic going to be your new schtick?" Usagi teased.

He smiled at her. "I don't mean to be. It's very weird knowing more than you. But I don't think it's my place to fill in the details."

"Yeah, because that's not annoying."

He shrugged his apology. She thought he probably rather enjoyed this dynamic.

"Can you at least tell me if I'm on the right side?" she asked looking forward at the people wandering by, unaware that a superhero and formal villain were having a civil conversation while waiting for an insurance adjuster. "Sometimes I feel like I'm o the wrong path."

"No, you are definitely a good guy," he reassured. "Though, if I'm being honest, I'm a little worried about Venus."

Now that was an interesting comment. Perhaps she could fish for information with him. "What about Tuxedo Kamen? Who is he working for?"

His eyebrows raised up, surprised by her question. "Surely, you don't think he's working for the Dark Kingdom?"

"I don't, but not everyone on my team is convinced," she said with a shrug.

"Well, perhaps he doesn't even know who's he's working for yet," Jadeite answered. "But it's you. He would never hurt you."

"I thought as much."

A comfortable silence fell between them. After a resigned sigh, she finally broached, "So what brings you here on this fine spring morning?"

"I bring a new tip, since you did so well with the gym," he said. "There's a clock store not too far from here, and the clocks it sells aren't just for timekeeping."

She startled. "That Discount clock store?"

Jadeite nodded.

"My mother just bought my brother a present from there at some crazy good deal. I couldn't figure out how they were possibly turning a profit with those deals."

"Money isn't their goal," he said.

"Well, that makes a lot of sense actually," she said, crinkling her nose.

"You may want to go check on your brother, or your mother," Jadeite said. "Not all of the items in the store are deadly. That would have brought too much attention."

"Shit. I didn't even think of that."

Exhaling, Jadeite pushed himself off the wall. "I should probably be going," he said.

"Wait. Do you have a cell phone yet, or do I just have to keep hoping you stalk me enough to know where to run into me?"

There was almost a laugh at that comment, and slowly Jadeite took a tiny pay as you go phone from his pocket. "I don't know what the number is," he explained.

She took it out of his hand, then maneuvered to the contacts screen, added her number, then sent herself a text message. "Well, now you don't have to."

As she handed him back his phone, and she realized that she was literally the only contact in it.

"Thank you so much," he said, holding the phone almost reverently. "I should probably let you get back to work now though. Until next time."

"Text before you come! Or for whatever!" she called with a wave. As he wandered off, she made a mental note to remember to text him any funny meme she came across. He could surely use it.

XXX

When she was done with the insurance adjuster, Usagi called her brother. She'd convinced herself to wait because surely, he was fine. (And if she bailed on this adjuster, she would be in danger of losing her job.)

He didn't answer, unsurprisingly. Not like a twenty-year-old, younger college-student brother necessarily answered his sister's phone calls. Shingo and Usagi weren't estranged. In fact, the older they got the more friendly they became, but it wasn't like they had suddenly become the best of friends.

So, she called her mother next.

"Are you alright?" were her mother's first words.

"I'm fine mom, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, maybe I wouldn't be so worried if my daughter called more often and hadn't been involved in two youma attacks at her place of work within the last three months," she snipped. "Or, that I didn't have to find out about them on the news."

Usagi rolled her eyes. Her mom was a social media junkie. Sailor Moon was sometimes too busy to beat the news before Twitter. She did understand her mom's concern, but she wasn't going to be shamed by things she couldn't control.

"Have you heard from Shingo recently?" Usagi asked. "He's not answering his phone."

"Well, that's your brother for you," Ikuko responded. "Can't be bothered to answer his phone, a text, a Facebook message, or even show up on time to dinner. It's why I thought he needed a new clock. That boy couldn't be on time for anything. I don't know where you two developed that trait."

Well, that confirmed that Usagi and Shingo had to be related at least. Though, it didn't sit well with her that her brother hadn't spoken to anyone in a few days.

"Do you want me to pass a message on to your brother?" Ikuko asked. "He's supposed to come home this weekend to do laundry."

Usagi chewed her lip thinking. It would take her a few days to reach her brother since he had to go to University outside of Tokyo, and she didn't have that kind of time to waste. Damnit. This meant she had to go check out that clock shop asap.

"No," Usagi told her mom. "Maybe I'll just swing by and talk to him this weekend."

"You should bring that new boy you're seeing with you," Ikuko added.

Usagi rolled her eyes, again. This is why she didn't talk to her mom more regularly. "We'll see, mom. I've got to go. The insurance is calling on the other line." This was a lie, but she needed some excuse to get off the phone.

"I love you, honey."

"Love you too, mom. Bye."

As she hung up, she sent her brother a text (Please call me!) and started to form a plan to investigate the clock shop that night.

XXX

Makoto had a gig. Rei asked too many questions, and getting Minako involved was more than she wanted to deal with right now. Ami, however, was in. Everything was looking perfect for the evening mission. What she hadn't planned on was Mamoru's surprise visit.

Cell phone in pocket, keys in hand, she walked to the door, swinging it open and seeing Mamoru waiting on the other side. He held a take-out bag, emblazed with the logo of her favorite ramen shop in a six-block radius, and DVD of a classic romantic comedy. Her heart melted.

"This is a lovely surprise," Usagi said, as Mamoru stepped in and kissed her cheek.

"Well, I thought we'd be less likely to have our date interrupted if we stayed in."

She laughed at that. They did have quite a track record for disaster. A bittersweetness settled in her as Minako's words echoed through her mind.

"I love it," she said, meaning it, then added, "But, I was just on my way out."

"I'll join you, then."

Well, of course, he would. She needed to shake him. What would be a good reason? What would a young woman need to go out alone for?

"It's kinda personal," she said. "I was just going to swing by the Family Mart for some, ya know…"

He narrowed his eyes. "Tampons?"

She nodded shyly.

"There's no shame in a natural part of your body, Usako," he said.

Of course, Mamoru would be progressive. So, she awkwardly went to the Family Mart down the street with her very supportive boyfriend, and he even purchased her pack of products. Within fifteen minutes, they were back at her apartment, reheating the ramen.

It was so easy to ignore responsibility when he was tempting her with a perfect evening. Movies, ramen, and snuggles versus a youma battle? Was that really even a choice? Though, what would she do if her brother was hurt?

Damnit, she needed to get him out of the apartment. She excused herself to the bathroom, locking the door and frantically texting Ami for suggestions.

Um, maybe I could invite him out? Ami texted. To discuss work things?

Worth a shot, Usagi answered.

But then I couldn't help if things get rough, Ami answered. Maybe you should see if Rei or Minako could help.

Yeah, that was going to be a hard no. Minako was the last person she wanted to involve.

I promise I'll text if something goes wrong, Usagi messaged back. Just get Mamoru out of my apartment.

Usagi finished up and left the bathroom. Mamoru was staring at his phone as she sat on her bed. Ami was quick.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" he asked as she sat beside him.

She shrugged. "I'm fine." She picked up the ramen waiting on the little table.

"Well, Ami wants to meet up for a drink. Do you want to go?"

"My stomach is a little upset. Probably girl problems," she said. "I think I should stay in."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'll tell her we can't go."

"No!" Usagi said. Mamoru cocked an eyebrow at her outburst. Yeah, even that seemed strangely abrupt to her too. "Go without me. I'm probably going to be sour, and I don't really mind."

"I'm sure Ami won't mind rescheduling," he said. "I was hoping to spend the evening with you."

"Let me take some Midol, and you go have a drink with Ami, and then when you're done. We can cuddle up in bed and watch a movie."

He narrowed his eyes. "You sure? It almost seems like you want to get rid of me."

"Never!"

"All right, I believe you. Unless you're secretly meeting up with some other lover," he teased. "Or leading a second life as a superhero or something."

Usagi laughed nervously. "What? Me? A superhero?"

"If you really want me to leave you alone for a bit, then I will," he said. "But you just had to ask."

"I'm just embarrassed," Usagi said. "Ya know."

"Not really," he said. "I'm a doctor. It's nothing I haven't seen before, but I respect you and I love you. I'll bring you back some tea."

He brought his ramen to the kitchen, smiling one more time at her before heading out the door.

She closed her eyes and counted. She needed to wait at least long enough for him to clear her building and street before she left. The guilt of her deception weighed heavily. She hated lying to Mamoru. He was so understanding and patient. How did she get so lucky? Why did she have to keep this part of herself secret?

Minako's words echoed through her mind. It didn't matter if he knew her identity; he would still be in danger. Though, unlike Minako, she wasn't alone. She had a team of superheroes who could help protect him. That would be enough. It had to be.

Though, if she did keep seeing him, she was going to run out of excuses, out of reasons, out of emergencies to have so he'd leave. And if they moved in together? What was she going to do when she couldn't even use laundry as an excuse to leave? If she didn't tell him, well, it had been secrets that had driven Minako and Mamoru apart years ago. Would they repeat the past?

Godsdamnit. She couldn't think about this anymore. This wasn't the time to fall apart, so she took out her mental duct tape. She needed to be Sailor Moon. She needed to be strong and a champion of love and justice. Even if love and justice weren't for her.

XXX

Shibuya had a nightlife, which at least meant that as Usagi wandered the streets they weren't deserted. However, at this hour, most shopping was closed. She found the shuttered clock store easily (the gigantic evil clock face drawn on the shutter was a dead give away). A small sign beside the storefront listed bizarre hours, which only made sense if it were a Dark Kingdom ploy. Only something evil would be open two hours on a Tuesday and use it to convince shoppers that was how they kept such crazy prices as opposed to evil energy-sucking ploys.

Usagi texted Ami that she was at the clock store, so at least someone knew where she was. She also texted "I love you" to Mamoru. She didn't wait for replies. Instead, she slipped her phone in her subspace pocket and transformed.

As Sailor Moon, she inspected the shutter more closely. As she placed her hand on the metal, it went right through; the facade was only an illusion. Only in Japan could a shop care so little about its own safety as to have an illusionary door. Taking a deep breath she walked through the shutter.

"Well, a Sailor Senshi," came a voice from the dark. "I wondered when you would find me."

The store was dark and didn't seem to occupy real space; grey mist swirled around a giant grandfather clock. A woman in her mid-thirties, wearing an entirely too sexy red dress for a retail worker, walked out of the shadows.

"You are not Sailor Venus." Of course, this youma had been running this gambit for who knew how long. She might not have know other Senshi beside Venus even existed.

"No, I'm Sailor Moon. The protector of those who cannot protect themselves. I've heard the cost of your sales is steeper than any consumer should pay, and I'm here to stop you!" Sailor Moon said, trying to draw strength from her words. If Venus had done this alone for years, then she could handle this too.

Behind her, she heard footfalls. At first, she thought Sailor Mercury had joined her after all. Then, she realized that was impossible; the icy Senshi was entertaining Mamoru so Sailor Moon could be here. Yet, the hairs on her arms didn't stand on edge like they did when danger was present. A black cape swished beside her. It wasn't another Senshi; it was Tuxedo Kamen.

She blinked at him. How did he get here?

"Ah, Tuxedo Kamen, you, I recognize," the woman-youma said. As she moved about the room, the far too sexy retail worker disguise fell. Her features became sharper and morphed into something that strangely resembled a Kiss fan - a white face with purple stripes through her eyes. She still wore the red dress though. Youma had such strange fashion choices

"Looks like you could use a hand," Tuxedo Kamen said to Moon. "I was passing through the area, and I saw you walking through a wall. Thought you might need back up."

"Thanks," Sailor Moon said, genuinely grateful she wouldn't be facing this monster alone.

"Well," the youma started, "what great timing. I can take out two hindrances at once. Catch me if you can!" Then the Youma melted into the grandfather clock behind her. The pendulum and weights vanished as the body of the clock became a doorway of purple swirling energy and clock faces.

"This is almost certainly a trap," Tuxedo Kamen said. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Sailor Moon said. "Let's go."

And together they walked into the Time Bomb.

XXX

Usagi wasn't answering her phone, so naturally, Ami assumed the worst. She texted Rei that she was following a Dark Kingdom lead and would call if she needed back up. Then, she thought to add for someone to come looking for her in an hour is she vanished. (Perhaps Usagi hadn't answered because only there was no reception. Not because she was slowly being drained of all her energy.)

Mamoru had canceled on her, saying that Motoki had called with an emergency. Given that the arcade owner had been having a rough time of it lately, and she didn't think anything of it. Too bad Motoki's call only came after Usagi's elaborate scheme to leave the house. A few minutes later, and the blonde wouldn't have had to face the monster alone. Ami would have been beside her as back-up.

According to Google Maps, the Izakaya Ami was meeting Mamoru at wasn't far from the Clock Shop. She wouldn't be too far behind her friend. Surely, she would still be able to help.

Much like Usagi, she saw the closed building facade. She pulled out her Mercurian computer and started to analyze it, looking to see if her friend had discovered a way inside. It didn't take long for the computer to inform her of the illusion, and after ducking into an alleyway, she transformed into Sailor Mercury. She walked with determination through the shutter.

The interior appeared unassuming. It was a mostly vacant warehouse, save for some junk and a large Grandfather clock in the center of the room. It barely resembled even a store, and Mercury wondered if that was part of the illusion too. Did that mean the inventory was made up of illusions? Was the junk that littered the place used in place of actual clocks? Where was the youma in charge of this operation? Where was the energy going?

One thing she did know, was that Sailor Moon was nowhere in sight. After a quick glance at her cell phone, in case the blonde had gotten her messages, Mercury engrossed herself with her computer. Usagi must be in trouble, and she would be there to help.

XXX

They warped to a strange place that was difficult to conceptualize. Time itself maybe? It was foggy and like walking on clouds at dusk while tripping on hallucinogens. There was no clear path through the psychedelic world. Green and purple flowed around them with various clock faces. Forward and backward, up and down, were loose concepts here. Sometimes, Sailor Moon would take a step and find herself perpendicular to Kamen, and he would pull her back to him. They needed to tread carefully. Well, too bad she didn't have time for that.

The fog cleared some, and she could see the youma standing roughly ten meters in front of her. Always the one to rush in, she charged forward. Something strange washed over her, and she suddenly felt like she was shrinking.

"Whooa!" Her voice went up several octaves as she tittered for balance. Too many octaves. She glanced back at Tuxedo Kamen. He stood rooted, his hand extended as if trying to figure out how to reach her. Oh shit, what had she gotten herself into?

"Sailor Moon!" he called. "This place is a temporal zone."

She looked at her hands; they barely fit in her adult gloves. Temporal zone? Did that mean she'd gone back in time, or that she'd reversed aged. Her hands flew to her breasts, and she deduced she was approximately fourteen. Damn her late-blooming.

"Shit!"

Windmilling, she stumbled backward into Tuxedo Kamen. His hands caught her under her arms, steadying her. Her gloves felt like a better fit, so she plastered her hands back to her chest. Whew, she was back to her natural age.

Looking into his face, his eyebrow quirked over his mask and into his dark bangs.

"Hey, these girls took forever to get in," she replied. "I made such an awkward teen."

"I didn't say anything," he replied, trying not to smile as she straightened herself. He shook his head and kneeled, placing one gloved hand on the surface most closely resembling the ground. She tilted her head as she watched him. Well, that was a strange thing to do.

"What are you doing?"

"I can feel where things are," he answered. "I don't know how, but it's an ability I've always possessed."

"Huh, is that how you always know where to find us?"

He smirked at her. "Sometimes. Sometimes I just happen to be in the right place at the right time."

"Weird how that happens," she said. "Ever since I got these powers, I seem to practically be tripping over monsters. Do you think it's a coincidence?"

"Probably not," he answered with a shrug. She didn't get a chance to unpack that as he continued, "Okay, I know the way, follow me."

He walked ahead, weaving in and out of strange, unseen pathways. Sailor Moon followed the swoosh of his cape, carefully making sure she didn't tumble into another temporal rift. They moved quickly and soon found the youma in the heart of the maze.

The monster clapped as the two superheroes approached. It was entirely too pleased with their progress. "Well, you made it to the middle, but it doesn't matter," the monster crooned. "If you didn't notice, time works a little different here. Therefore you're already too late."

As the monster finished its monologuing, Moon and Kamen fell to their knees. Everything started to shake as the youma laughed and laughed.

"What the fuck is happening?"

XXX

Outside the temporal maze, Mercury followed the events inside with her computer. Energy signatures for both Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen appeared on her screen, giving her all sorts of insights into their vitals and powers. There was something intensely familiar about Tuxedo Kamen's signature, but she would have to investigate that later. Mercury followed them as Moon suddenly dropped ten years, as Kamen figured out a way to avoid the terrible temporal traps, as they moved both slowly and quickly through the maze. The youma that had trapped them was using the maze to fast track their energy drain. Any second now and the two heroes would completely powerless.

"They're never going to make it on their own," Mercury said to herself, "Good thing they have me here."

It was true. She'd pinpointed the power supply of the Clock a few moments prior, then started calculations on how to disable it. If Moon and Kamen regained their strength, the youma wouldn't stand a chance. An alert informed her of the quickest and most efficient way to restore their energy was by destroying the collection source. The best way to do that - brute force.

Mercury looked around for anything to use as a weapon. Unlike her fellow Senshi, she wasn't the most offensive guardian. Luckily, she was quite resourceful, and the clock shop had a broom.

She froze the bristles to a point and made the tool more spear-like. Then, she hurled into the clock face, right at the 3 o'clock mark. It glowed green as it's containment strained and eventually burst, releasing all the stored energy.

"There you go, Usagi. Go get 'em," Mercury said. She smiled as she returned to watching the two heroes on her computer.

XXX

She felt so weak, so tired. She tried to summon the power for her tiara, but all she managed to do was take the piece of jewelry off.

"I've been absorbing all your power," the youma continued. "As you wondered my domain, I stole bits and pieces. And now, you're powerless!" It burst into wicked laughter.

"Well, shit," Sailor Moon said, her tiara slipping from her fingers.

As the youma laughing, Moon felt a sudden surge. A wave of power washed over her like she'd suddenly been thrown on a wireless phone charger. She reached down for her tiara and magic moved through her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Kamen experiencing the same thing. He'd already palmed a rose.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"I'm not going question that until this bitch is out of the way," Sailor Moon said with a shrug. Then she turned towards the youma, her tiara spinning on her fingertips, and yelled, "Moon Tiara Action!"

The monster had just enough time to be surprised. "What's this…" she started before Moon's tiara ripped her in half. The youma screamed as she crumbled into dust. The temporal maze dissolved around them, and the two heroes found themselves standing in a messy empty lot with Sailor Mercury.

"Mercury!" Sailor Moon called, rushing to her teammate and enveloping her in a hug. "You're here!"

"And you must have been the one to save us," Tuxedo Kamen said. "I thank you."

"It was no problem," Mecury said with a smile. "I'm just glad you two were safe."

"But, Mercury, if your here…" Sailor Moon started before the repercussions on what must have happened for the other Senshi to be there hitting her. "Oh! It was great working with you Tuxedo Kamen!" Sailor Moon waved over her should and grabbed Mercury by the arm.

"See you later!"

And the two Senshi disappeared.

XXX

Turns out cell phones didn't work in temporal disturbances, but thankfully, Mamoru had gone to Motoki's while she was battling monsters. She rushed back to her apartment, hoping that Mamoru wouldn't beat her. She wondered what Motoki had needed, and why he hadn't called her, though, maybe she should be thankful for small silver linings. As she crashed into the genkan, she took a deep breath. He wasn't there. He wouldn't know. She'd gotten away with the lie.

She sorted through the rest of her messages as they pinged in with the return of cell service. One message, in particular, stood out. Shingo.

Sorry. I've been feeling under the weather lately. Just started feeling better. Let mom know I'm alive so she'll stop calling, please.

Tired from both the battle and her emotions, she crashed onto her bed. She curled herself around one of her pillows.

Pressing the phone to her heart, she allowed herself to feel everything. Shingo had been targeted, and she'd been so wrapped up in her own life, she'd missed it. Her own brother could have died because she'd been thinking about staying in with a movie. This was all getting too much. Being a superhero was not the dream job she thought it was.

It was only a few moments later when Usagi's door opened and the familiar sounds of Mamoru reached her ears: his careful steps in her hallway, the crinkle of a plastic bag, and the clank of her kettle being placed on the stove. He didn't say anything as he set about her apartment, but after he finished, he curled up in the bed next to her.

"Hey," he said, kissing her shoulder. "I got you some tea."

He had no clue. No clue that she'd lied to him, that she was keeping the biggest secret of her life from him. A sob ripped through her.

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" He wrapped his arms around her. "What can I do to help?"

"I can't do this," she sobbed. She gripped her stomach, curling further into herself, wishing her back could become a porcupine and push him away. Why did he have to be so fucking perfect? Why did he bring home something to help take care of her, and didn't ask why she'd kicked him out in the first place? Why did she have to love him so damn much?

"Can't do what?" he asked slowly, hand rubbing down her arm.

She choked on a sob, godsdamnit. She pushed his arm away and turned to look at him. He looked confused and worried. It cracked her heart even more.

"Mamoru," she said. "I can't be with you anymore."

"What?" He blinked, disbelieving that he'd heard her right. His eyes became glossy as tears filled them. "Usako…"

She couldn't do this with him so close. She couldn't do this looking him in the face. She couldn't do it any other way. As much as this was killing her, it would kill her more if something happened to him because of her. Because she couldn't focus when he was around. Because just being with her put him in danger.

"I can't be with you right now. We can't get an apartment. I can't do this," she said in one long gasp.

"I don't understand." He sat up beside her. Tears slipped down the side of his face His mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words.

She shook her head, standing up. She amazed herself that she didn't just collapse into a heap. Tell him she was sorry, that there was a reason. If he could just wait….

"I'm so sorry Mamoru," she said. "But you need to leave."

He blinked. "Did I… Did I do something wrong?"

She couldn't stop the sobbing. Her arms curled around her waist, she bent over into her legs. The kettle started its whistle, a warning that there was no going back if she continued.

"No," she sobbed. "It's me. It's something I have to do. And I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"But I love you, and you love me," he said, despair and heartbreak lacing every word. "Is there someone else?"

"It's not that. Please, don't make this harder," she pleaded.

Mamoru stood up, in a daze. "But," he started. His eyes danced over her. She was curled into a half ball over her legs, looking up at him, begging him not to be her. Tears slipped down her face like a leaky faucet that no matter how hard he turned the handle, just wouldn't stop.

"Usako..."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

He walked towards the door like a zombie, shambling and slow, hopeful that this was a terrible dream. As soon as the door closed behind him, and she sobbed, gut-wrenching, loud guttural things.

She didn't know, but Mamoru slid down the closed door in the hallway, crying and listening for her to calm down enough to sleep.