It had been a few more months, since Myra had called it quits with their living arrangements. She had engrossed herself with college study, even managing to write a pretty boring paper on energy containment that had a few government officials knocking on their door.
She had made so many excuses not go on adventures with him; something clearly had her panties in a twist.
Rick was mostly sitting around the house, attempting to make some sort of headway on his portal gun invention; he was certain that would be enough to settle Myra down. Just when he thought he made some successes, something would fail and he was back to square one.
"For fuck's sake!" He snapped as another gun exploded on the table before him. He threw his goggles down on the ground in frustration, wiping the ashen residue from his face.
There was a sudden knock on the basement door and Rick glanced up at Myra, who looked more dolled up than usual. She was wearing a flattering splash of makeup, which framed her silver eyes perfectly. Her dress was contoured to the slight curves of her lean frame; flattering and hugging it enticingly.
Rick found himself grinning, "Finally- I mean i-it's been forever…" he was unzipping his pants in keen anticipation.
Myra held up his hand and stopped him, "Actually… I have a date."
"A date?" Rick paused in his tracks, visibly confused by the sudden development, "I don't mean to sound so perplexed by this…news." Rick snapped in irritation, "But since when do you date? Y-y-you've never even had a boyfriend before." He stated bitterly.
Myra seemingly ignored his outburst, "I'm not too sure when I will get back; please don't blow the house up while I am gone." She turned on her heel.
"Myra!" Rick suddenly called out up the stairs, halting her in her tracks. She stared at him with an odd expression Rick couldn't quite comprehend; somehow reflecting every emotion imaginable. "W-whoever that guy is; you're too smart for him. Stay here- help me with the portal gun; w-w-wed can go on a good old adventure…"
"Try to get some sleep." She murmured to him, before she opened the front door and vanished.
Rick stared at the closed door, feeling extremely confused by the array of emotions that were suddenly overwhelming him. He stormed upstairs, wandering towards the liquor cabinet Myra had insisted on getting; more for decoration than anything. He threw open the glass doors, snatching up as many bottles as he could carry.
He took them all down into the basement, opening bottle after bottle and gulping them down as he worked on solving the portal gun issue once and for all. This was his ticket- this was his solution to all of his problems. If he could just solve this one, fucking thing; all the little pieces would fall neatly into place.
Rick worked with a crazed frenzy; suddenly enlightened in his state of intoxication.
An hour later, Rick swayed on the spot, tossing aside another empty bottle that shattered to the floor. He glanced down at the creation before him, smirking with satisfaction.
"I….did it." He belched, wiping a stray strand of drool on the back of his sleeve. He pulled the trigger on his crude creation, and an unstable green portal suddenly shimmered and sparked against the wall. He was about to step through when he fell to the ground, passing out in a cold, drunken heap.
Sunlight was blazing when he opened his eyes. He shielded them with his hands in a feeble attempt to overcome the agony that was suddenly threatening to tear his head apart. He sad up, feeling extremely hungover and glimpsed around his room, his eyes finally resting on the lump beside him in bed.
Rick smiled to himself, relieved that Myra had come to her senses. He reached over, "Good morning." He pulled back the covers slightly, confused by the mattered mess of blonde hair.
Diane turned around and stretched wearily, "Good morning." She replied with a pretty smile, "Gee it must be afternoon…" She sat up, surprised by the daylight blaring into the room, "to be fair, we were up for an extremely long period last night." She grinned to him devilishly.
"Yeah…" Rick rubbed his head, feeling confused, "I guess we were?"
Diane was suddenly up, pulling her clothes on, "I'll have to leave; I've already missed a class or two." She shook her head in a sudden flurry, "I hope I still have time to turn in that assignment." She was frowning.
"Uh… good luck, I guess?" Rick said, sitting up in bed to watch her.
Diane was suddenly smiling at him, "You're not really good at this whole thing, are you?"
Rick could only stare at her blankly in response.
"Is Myra the only girl you have ever been with?" She asked, suddenly cocking her brow in curiosity. After a few minutes of silence Diane chuckled, "I will take that stunned silence as a yes. Look, sometimes people have sex, no strings attached- that is completely fine. But we had so much fun last night I would be terribly upset if this was a single occurrence." She finished pulling her blouse on, "So, I hope to hear from you; but if I don't- that is understandable; you obviously have some deep-rooted issues stemming from a co-dependence with Myra anyway."
Rick was frowning at her monologue, "I'm not co-dependent." He snapped irritably.
"I also don't doubt you believe that." Diane was shrugging at him, suddenly stepping towards the door, "Whatever the case is- call me, don't call me." She twirled around and practically bounced out the door.
Rick heard the front door open and Diane was suddenly greeting Myra pleasantly. They exchanged a few small-talk peasantries and then the front door closed again. Rick could hear Myra heading up the stairs towards his room.
She appeared in the doorway, wearing her lab outfit. She had clearly been in out all morning.
"Nice work there, Sanchez." She said, leaning in the doorway, "fun evening?"
Rick was frowning at her suddenly, "Ugh, stop talking. My head i-i-is so close to exploding right now."
Myra was smirking at him suddenly, "WHOOPS, MY BAD!" She said in a loud voice and Rick cradled his head.
"Ugh you bitch!" He complained, wincing against the pain. He stared at her through a pained expression. She looked exhausted; her eyes were sporting dark circles and her hair looked unkempt. Had she been out all night? Was her evening as successful as his?
"Looks like Diane isn't the only one who is enduring the 'walk of shame' today." Rick said, squinting against the light.
Myra stared at him momentarily, an odd expression covering her face, while she seemed to open her mouth, as if she was about to say something.
Instead, she let out a weary sigh, "I'll make some hangover remedy." She said, turning and walking away.
Rick felt more confused than ever. What the hell was up with her?
It took him a few days to completely recover from his bender; he worked on his portal gun- knowing very well he was already in the home stretch. He was so close- all he needed to do was work on the stabilization of the portals.
So, when he finally realised it was complete, he briefly tested it, by poking his head through the shimmering green surface. He had done it; he was a completely unstoppable force to be reckoned with!
It was only natural that he wanted to show Myra. He practically skipped all the way to her campus lab, bumping into Diane outside.
"Oh… hey…" Rick muttered awkwardly. He hadn't called her since their drunken tumble, night prior. He had debated it, knowing very well that he could easily have some puss on tap; but somehow he felt like that would be the wrong decision to be making; with everything else going on.
"Hey." Diane smiled at him, "You coming to visit Myra too?" There was no doubting Dianne was attractive; when she smiled it made all of her facial features all the more appealing. Rick wasn't sure if he was just blue-balling majorly, or whether she had actually been so pretty, the entire time.
"Uh, yeah.." Rick smiled, "I've just made a huge breakthrough on something we have been working on… forever." He shrugged, waving the portal gun, "Portable interdimensional travel." He grinned wider, "This is going to make her moister than an oyster."
Diane's nose screwed up slightly, "Interesting." She said, her brows raising.
Rick didn't want to give her superiority complex the satisfaction, but he still couldn't help but bite, "W-w-what's so fascinating?" He frowned, as they stepped inside the lab building.
Diane shrugged her narrow shoulders, a slight smirk curving her lips, "Interesting that, for someone who claimed he isn't co-dependant, he sure does exhibit many signs of being thus."
Rick frowned at her, "Y-you're grasping at straws, Diane; y-you don't know me or Morty."
"I know her well enough." Diane shrugged her shoulders, "A fear of intimacy and being close to another person; stemming from a dysfunctional childhood. Mother issues, Daddy issues. Two toxic parents who took their hatred for each other out on their daughter; treated her like an inanimate object; trying, desperately, to get her to fit into their ideologies."
She cocked her brow at him again as he gave her a slightly surprized glance, "I may seem like I do more monologuing, than actual listening; but I do pay very close attention when someone, as anally retentive as Myra, decides to speak."
"You're so full of shit." Rick frowned, "I bet you found some of her journals, or some shit, lying around somewhere." He shrugged his shoulders, "There's no way she'd openly talk, like that."
Diane shrugged her shoulders again, "Think what you will, Rick Sanchez." She smiled devilishly, "I do see and hear more than I let on, you know."
"Hmm, I highly doubt that." Rick frowned, reaching for a door, as they walked along the hallway once more.
Myra's lab was brightly lit, she was hunched over her desk, her back to the door. She looked the most exhausted Rick had ever seen her; her dark circles were impossibly darker. Her hair was dishevelled and unwashed- her face a sickly pale coloration.
She glimpsed over her shoulder as the door closed behind Rick and Diane.
"Oh… hey." She muttered, glimpsing back to the table before her, "What are you guys doing here?" She let out a weary yawn. She was clearly sleep-deprived; she looked barely able to keep her eyes open.
Rick grinned, stepping forward, waving the portal gun, "I fucking did it, Morty!" He beamed, "Portal. Gun."
Myra glimpsed up, her eyes glimmering with intrigue, "You did it…?" She trailed off, glancing at Diane, "No offense, but what are you doing here?" she yawned again, "Geez I sound so rude…" her shoulders hunched slightly, "Sorry…"
Diane stepped forward, "I came to talk to you… about what happened between Rick and I."
Rick glanced at her, feeling annoyed that she would bring that shit up, right then and there, "C'mon, Dee, no one wants to hear that, right now!" He frowned, "Let Morty get her head around t-this amazing thing I pulled out of my ass!"
Myra shrugged her shoulders, "I've said it a million times, Diane; I honestly feel indifferent about the whole thing," She forced a smile "I'm honestly just happy that I'm not in a relationship with Rick. We were better at being friends and colleagues, anyway." She shot Rick a brief smirk.
Rick felt annoyed by her words, and shook his head, "ugh, whatever." He rolled his eyes, placing the portal gun on the table before her, "Are you awake enough to be excited about this breakthrough, or do I need to whip up one of your famous Velocitinis ?" He was smirking at her.
Myra let out a weary sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose; a smirk curving her mouth, "I actually have some in the drawer, over there." She pointed to a cabinet on the other side of the room.
Rick let out an amused chuckle and strode towards it.
Diane picked the portal gun up, glimpsing at it curiously, "So, this is technology you guys have been working on… for years?" She asked, her voice thick with intrigue, "Fascinating."
"I'm sure Rick has already told you about it… but yeah it's been a pretty huge deal, for us." Myra was grinning, her weary expression brightening slightly, "Our platform portal is so inconvenient, being able to achieve portable interdimensional travel; now that was what wet dreams are all about." She grinned, glancing towards Rick, who let out a little cackle, from the other side of the room.
"Holy shit, look at all this!" he was grinning maniacally as he rummaged through her substance drawer " Look at all of these drugs!" he shook his head, "I-I think you have a problem, Morty!"
Myra shrugged her shoulders, glancing back to Diane as she placed the gun on the table once again, "So are you two together now?" She asked, glanced back from Rick to Diane.
"We won't put a label on things, Morty." Rick shot back quickly, "Diane and I have had some fun; we may have more fun in the future…"
"A relationship would be nice." Diane smiled, her pretty features brightening, "but I won't press the matter." She shrugged her shoulders, "I really like Rick, and I hope he likes me."
Rick waltzed over, carrying a few glasses of glowing orange liquid, "You're ok…" Rick shrugged, "I mean; as far as people go- I-I guess I can tolerate you."
Myra shrugged her shoulders, snatching a glass from Rick's grasp, "To Rick getting it on!" She cheered loudly, gulping down the liquid. She placed the glass on the table, "An to breakthroughs!"
Rick chuckled, handing a glass to Diane, before gulping down his own.
They finished drinking and Rick snatched up the portal gun, "I-I just tested this baby, this morning. Morty, if you would be so kind, as to enter this portal." He was grinning widely as he aimed the portal gun at her feet.
Myra was grinning back, in response she posed in a 'take me' like fashion as Rick pulled the trigger on the portal gun.
The bright green light that shot from the gun exploded as it shot towards Myra, causing Rick and Diane to hurtle backwards, slamming into the far wall. The room burst into an explosive whirl- the roof collapsing down on them.
There was a ringing in Rick's ears as he opened his eyes, glancing around at the devastation. He briefly noted Diane coughing and wincing as she climbed to her feet, sporting a few scratches and bruises, but otherwise unharmed. Rick's eyes wandered around the room, feeling panic.
"Morty?!" Rick called out, grimacing in pain as he climbed to his feet, "fuck my leg!" he snapped, glancing down at his appendage, which was bent in a completely incorrect fashion, "Morty?!" Rick called again, hobbling amongst the rubble.
There was silence.
"Shit… your leg!" Diane breathed, stepping forward to assist Rick to hobble. She slung his arm over her shoulders as they wandered around, glancing at the large, black chasm in the ground, where Rick had shot the portal.
"Fuck!" Rick hissed, cupping his hands around his mouth, "MYRA!?" he called, glancing around the room, feeling even more panicked that he had completely obliterated his friend.
A mound of rubble stirred on the other side of the room, seizing his attention, "ugh…" Myra stood up, tossing a large piece of rubble from her, as though it was made of Styrofoam. "I want to say "ouch… but I honestly didn't feel a thing…." She glanced down at herself in confusion. She didn't even have a single scratch on her.
Diane helped Rick hobble over there, her face pale with shock, "Holy shit…" She murmured, "What the hell was that?! Was it supposed to do that?" Diane asked, her voice filled with fear.
"Clearly there is something wrong with the gun…maybe something needed more charge, after the first time…" his head hurt as he tried to think of what had gone awry from the trip from the house to Myra's lab. He stared at Myra, feeling overwhelmed with relief, "Fuck I thought you were a goner, Morty!" he said, chuckling with astonishment, "I was…"
Myra lifted another piece of large rubble from the ground; high into the air, as though it were a feather.
"Rick…." She murmured, clearly flabbergasted, "Riiick…" she murmured again, punching herself in the leg furiously. She looked like she was chucking some kind of self-abusive tantrum as she picked up piece, after piece of rubble and slammed them into her body. They shattered upon contact with her.
"I'm strong… and indestructible?!" Myra's eyes were wide, "Rick?!"
Rick felt his head tilt in perplexing curiosity, "I-I want to say that I intended to do that… but…" He reached down, picking up an iron rod and threw it at her, like a javelin. It bounced off her and they both looked at each other and laughed maniacally.
Diane gave them both a wide-eyed, disbelieving glance, "I think you need medical attention…" She trailed off, glancing at Rick.
"Yeah, l-let's get the Hulk here to carry me back to the house!" he cackled, hobbling towards Myra, "Holy shit, Morty!" He grinned as Myra lifted him so effortlessly, "What a-a fucking fantastic fluke!" He was giggling as she carried him out of the building, Diane on their heels.
Years passed.
After the freak accident trying to show Myra his portal gun breakthrough, they resumed heading out on adventures. Rick revelled in her indestructible epidermis and strength; using her as a living shield on many occasions.
Although she had been expelled from the campus for the explosion incident, Myra was allowed to finish her degree with another college. She did so begrudgingly, more to keep her parents happy then out of necessity. She also endured blind date after blind date; also her parent's doing.
Meanwhile Rick had continued to see Diane on a somewhat permanent basis. Initially, he had continued to do so because it irritated Myra beyond words; but he had grown fond of Diane in a way he wasn't sure he'd be able. Occasionally they would head out on their own inter-dimensional adventures; overall Rick was quite happy and contempt with the turn his life had taken.
Though things had ramped up off-world, with the Gromflomites and the Federation.
Rick and Myra were a part of the rebellion, known as the "Defiance". They helped countless planets attempt to extinguish the Federation hold on the galaxy, all the while getting themselves deeper and deeper into shit. Intergalactic war criminals certainly had their work cut out for them; Myra was swept up with wanting to eradicate the Federation, all together. Her ambition for it was inspiring, to say the least; Rick knew that he felt like kicking Gromflomite ass every time she gave a speech.
Sometimes they would get involved in planetary battles, which took days; other times it was weeks. By the time things were really in the thick of it, they were off Earth for months.
All the while, Diane was trying to be understanding; occasionally tagging along for the odd battle. Though Rick would be more distracted, trying to keep her out of harm's way. So it was only natural that the resentment between Diane and Myra continued to grow.
So, when the rebellion had a lead to get a stronger, strategical position on Blood Ridge, on one of Glapflap's moons; Myra was already there.
Rick never understood why he had to hear about everything through Bird Person; but he somehow didn't doubt it was due to all of the tension between Myra and Diane. Things had always been a little awkward, between the two; but something had seemingly happened, in a moment Rick hadn't been around, or hadn't been paying attention.
He was taking a swig from his flash, already getting some firepower ready, his portal gun placed aside on his garage workbench. Myra was being such a petty pain in his ass; acting like a stubborn teenager with a grudge, against his girlfriend.
Sure, Diane wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but Myra would just have to get over it. Rick was more than happy with everything in his romantic life; something he was never sure he'd never achieve.
He let out a weary sigh, glancing up as the garage door opened, revealing a worried-looking Diane.
"Rick..?" She murmured, glancing briefly at the clock on the wall, "Its two in the morning… what are you doing, gathering all your weapons?" she shuffled forward, holding her gown closed, her eyes wandering over his chosen artillery with weariness, "Do you have to go?" She looked up at him, her eyes almost pleading.
"Y-yeah." Rick shrugged his shoulders dismissively, "Fate of the universe, and all that. I can't let Morty have all the glory now, can I?" He cocked his brow at her, giving her a slight smirk, until she frowned at him in response.
"I thought you said Earth wasn't on their agenda, anytime soon?" Diane's eyes wandered back over his guns again, "Besides Myra can more than handle herself… you know that for a fact."
"Eh… It's more of a teamwork kind of thing." Rick shrugged his shoulders again, "I'm the brains and she's the brawn; y-you know she'd screw up majorly without me there…. Probably lead all those insect mother-fuckers right here."
Diane's eyes were dark with annoyance, "I think we both know that Myra is far more intelligent than you're ever willing to give her credit for, Rick." She folded her arms across her chest, clearly angry, "Why don't you let her do her own thing, and come back to bed?"
"Y-you don't understand, Dee…. T-t-this is going to be some real universe-saving shit!" Rick exclaimed, feeling irritated by Diane's words, "This could literally be a-a-a matter of life-and death for everyone involved."
"So, don't get involved." Diane let out a weary sigh, "Stay here…" Her eyes were full of pleading once again, "Stay with me."
Rick stared at her, feeling torn between the woman he loved and being an ass-kicking hero. On one hand, Diane was someone he loved, on the other hand; countless lives could be lost, without him there for the fight. Bird Person, Squanchy… Myra…
He let out a sigh, "I-I tell you what, Dee." Rick smiled at her, taking her by the hands to look into her eyes, "T-this will be my last adventure for a while. I-I'm not too sure how long I will be gone for, but I promise…. When I come back… I-I'll hang up the gun and the coat…"
Diane's gaze softened, clearly appeased by his proposition. She let out a weary sigh, giving his hands a gently squeeze, "Ok… deal." She gave him a weak smile, leaning up to give him a gentle kiss, "Please be safe… come back to me.."
Rick wrapped his arms around her, giving her a reassuring squeeze, "I will do, baby."
She broke away from him, and quietly left the garage.
Rick let out another sigh and finished tossing all of his guns into a large carry bag. He grunted as he attempted to lift it, "Fuck, where's Morty, when I need her?" he hissed, shooting open a portal.
Myra was scouting, solo. The reddish tinge of the landscape casting everything in an ominous, bloody glow. It was still early enough that the sun was shining on most of the moon's surface. The temperature a sticky, humid mess. The Defiance members had been hiding in a bunker, huddled in close proximity while the scouts had dispersed to gather their intel.
There were tens of thousands of Gromflomites. And they were armed to the tits, obviously more than prepared for any kind of attack. Myra was feeling increasingly nervous as she glanced through her binoculars- zooming in to see all of the guards posted on the watchtowers.
"That's a lot…" She murmured to herself, a frown forming on her face as she lost count of exactly how many guards she could see on the balconies alone. "Too many…" She huffed, tearing the binoculars away from her face. She wiped the beading sweat from her brow, glancing at the sun's position momentarily, before something touching her shoulder made her jump.
It was Bird Person. His expression was oddly dark as he glanced towards the buildings, making a motion for Myra to hand him the binoculars. She handed them to him, without hesitation.
"This looks…unpromising." He was frowning, his mouth curving into a frown, "Can you see where they could be containing any prisoners?"
Myra gave her metal wrist guard a brief tap, bringing up some holograms of some subterranean scans she had performed moments earlier. They were crude; she desperately needed Rick to tweak her fusion and cross-wiring- but the rough scans would do the job.
"They are more than likely holding anyone they've captured in this chamber down here." She murmured, gesturing to a small pocketed room beneath the base. It was far at the back of the underground compound, the most logical place they would contain prisoners.
Bird Person's eyes wandered over the scan with a frown, "This will not be an easy penetration."
"That's what she said…" Myra began, unable to resist the jibe Rick would have made, "And don't worry, Pers… we'll get her out of there." She placed her hand on his shoulder reassuringly.
He looked at her with a defeated expression, and she could see how torn he was over the whole situation. He had spirit bonded with a female of his species, called 'Fanny Feather-flight'. While her name alone drew much immature laughter from Rick and Myra, there was absolutely no denying their bond. Just looking at them together, Myra had begun to wonder if she had been wrong about her thoughts on love. Though the thought alone was enough to make her roll her eyes.
"I am worried for Fanny's well-being." Bird Person frowned, "Rest assured, I will end each and every Gromflomite responsible for her incarceration."
Myra patted his shoulder, "Of course you will, buddy." She smiled at him, "So very unfortunate… for them….. to be ended… by you." She frowned, peering over the rise towards the compound once more.
There was a brief moment of silence, before Myra cleared her throat, "So… um… Have you heard from Sanchez?" She asked, watching as Bird Person stared at her in mild annoyance.
"Yes." He said, flapping his wings slightly as he stood up, "I would appreciate it if you would stop acting like immature hatchlings." He shook his head, "You know Rick is more than willing to talk to you directly, despite your aversion to his chosen mate."
Myra stood up, dusting herself off, "We do things a little differently on Earth, Pers." She muttered defensively, "Whenever a 'mate' is concerned for the well-being of their relationship; things tend to turn nasty." She stated, "I don't like Diane and she doesn't like me; the fact that I am out, with Sanchez, all the time doesn't really help the situation."
"Your long-standing history with Rick is always going to cause tension, for her." Bird Person stated, his eyes turning to her, "You do not have control over that; but you do have control over how you react to her hostility." He frowned, "Be 'the bigger person', as your kind likes to say."
Myra frowned, knowing it definitely wasn't as straight forward as all of that. There was such bitter resentment, from Diane; maybe from Myra as well. She guessed, in a way she did feel like Diane had stolen her best friend away from her.
Myra let out a weary sigh, "C'mon Pers, let's get back and see if we can formulate a plan of attack, with the others… who knows maybe Sanchez is there already and we can really get the ball moving on this one."
"Indeed." Bird Person muttered, as Myra climbed onto his back and he took flight; back in the direction of the bunker.
When they arrived back, Myra was happy to see that all of the scouts had made it. On previous stake-outs a few had been caught, or killed; so it was definitely a nice change of pace.
Of course, she was also happy to see that Rick had arrived; his promised array of artillery dragging in a over-sized duffle behind him.
"Fuck I-i-I really could've used some help with this, Morty!" He snapped at her as he saw her, "Y-y-you really need to start pulling your weight around here!" He smirked at her, chuckling pleasantly as she strode towards him.
She unclasped her wristband and threw it at him; he caught it without hesitation.
"Needs the Sanchez workover." She winked at him, "Patience was never my strong-suit."
Rick snorted, "Nor mine… T-there's impatience a-and there's just shitty craftsmanship, Morty." He stated, "L-let's see how badly you fucked this up, then."
As the hours passed, they fell into their routine with ease; as though there had never been any sourness between them. Neither wanted to address the elephant in the room; not wanting to potentially open up the can of drama, stemming from Myra and Diane's issues. There would be a better time and place to deal with it… right?
Rick fixed her holo-wrist scanner, adding a few touches and modifications of his own. It could now pick up the lifeforms; an added bonus and potentially the best game-changer they could have asked for. They could now scan but the subterranean levels of the bunkers and all of the Gromflomites within; something that would be able to turn everything in their favour.
Myra was hunched over the holo-table, with several other defiance members who 'lead' the operations. Rick joined them some time later, as they started to make plans; his cocky attitude annoying everyone, save Myra. She was more than used to his over-confident manner and she knew, very well, that he was more than capable of delivering everything he boasted about.
Though the others wanted to be swift in their dismissal of all of his outlandish ideas, Myra convinced them he wasn't merely talking out of his ass.
It would all just come down to the timing, of it all.
They would launch an assault, in the early hours of the morning.
Seeing as they had some time to kill, before the assault, Rick and Myra gathered in a far corner of the bunker, along with Squanchy and Bird Person.
They were all back in their usually circle of crudeness; taking cheap jibes at each other and laughing hysterically. Myra could almost forget they were about to enter a life-endangering battle.
"Man, this is going to take so long…" Myra muttered, glancing at her wristband, "why couldn't we just launch the attack straight away?" She muttered sourly, placing her hand on Bird Person's shoulder as they slumped again.
"Because t-these guys a-are all morons…" Rick belched, tossing an empty bottle aside, "I-I say…. L-let's take em; J-just me and Morty- against a-all of those assholes."
Bird Person was frowning, "I think such a ludicrous plan would only endanger Fanny's life…"
Rick was frowning for a silent moment, before he cocked his brow, "y-you know that her name means 'ass' on Earth… or 'vagina', i-if you're from outside the USA…"
Bird Person's brows rose in surprise, "And you did not think to mention this sooner?"
Myra and Rick glanced at each other and burst out into hysterics.
Bird Person frowned at them "Is this why you two laugh so immaturely, nearly every time I speak her name?"
Myra was struggling for breath, "Sorry, Pers… but it's like how the Earth name 'Jerry' means 'foreskin', in your language!"
Bird Person was suddenly chuckling, his shoulders shaking up and down, "Surely no-one is stupid enough to call their child 'Jerry'!" He was reverberating with deep laughter, "That is hilarious."
They sat, laughing for several more minutes, before Myra paused, placing her hand on Bird Person's shoulder once again, "Don't worry; we'll get her out of there; the four of us are practically unstoppable."
"So, what's stopping us?" Rick frowned, suddenly standing up, "I-I say, we launch a small surprise attack and blow t-their defences so… wide open… i-it'll be like a huge, gaping…"
"Not to squanch on your parade, Rick." Squanchy interjected, "But how exactly do you expect us to squanch thousands of those squanching mother-squanchers?"
Myra and Rick glanced at each other, briefly, as though they were exchanging a telepathic message.
Myra began shaking her head, "No way, that's far too risky, Sanchez. We're literally talking tens of thousands of federation Gromflomites; armed to the wazoo." She folded her arms across her chest, "I highly doubt that plan will work."
Rick shook his head dismissively at her, "N-no Morty, I-it's about time that we put everything to good use." He shook his head, "I know you drew the line at me implanting you with t-that car transformation chip; b-but everything else has been leading up to this very moment."
There was a moment of silence while Bird Person and Squanchy stared back and forth between Myra and Rick; both trying to decipher whatever it was Rick was talking about.
Myra let out a long-drawn sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration; her shoulders slumping in defeat, "Fine, but I'm not getting naked!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.
Rick frowned at her, a slight amused smirk curving his mouth, "Well t-that just defeats the purpose…"
