Their music had become background noise as Myra focused on the small digital pad before her. She wanted everything to be perfect; though that was going to be nearly impossible with such short notice. Her eyes flittered over the writing on the screen and a slight grin formed as one of the venues blinked across the display before her.

It was an alien stripper joint- one with an extremely questionable reputation. The perfect place for a Sanchez bachelor party.

The owner owed Myra a favour, from several years prior; maybe it was time to cash it in. She sent the message, knowing very well that it was a done deal; the party would go ahead tomorrow.

She was already eager to see the look on Rick's face; she peered up towards the stage, watching the Flesh Curtains perform momentarily, bopping along to the 'wizard sleeve' song, before focusing on the screen once again.

"Is this seat taken?" The deep voice startled Myra, as she glanced up from the pad, and into the glistening eyes of a large, bluish, humanoid alien. He was male, from what Myra assumed from physique alone; it would have been considered Greek God-esque , on Earth. He was sporting white-hued hair and a fair matting of facial hair too.

She cocked her brow at him and stared in silence, unsure whether she considered him attractive or not, before he flashed a dashing smile at her, and raised his hands.

"I mean no harm; it is just rare to see such a beauty, sitting alone, in a place like this." He said, his smile pleasant enough.

Myra scrunched her nose, "Please." She muttered, rolling her eyes, "My over-inflated ego does not need more compliments to fuel its fire." She said, a slight smirk curving her mouth and motioned for him to sit down.

He obliged her, taking a seat, his emerald eyes tracing over her with curiosity, "Same species?" He asked, pointing from her, to Rick, who was up on the stage, singing "the gape" boastfully.

"Hmm, although correct, I do question it, quite often." She grinned back at him, "Myra, if introductions are to be made." She said, motioning to herself.

"Malek." He said, motioning to himself, "I can't say I have seen your species before." He said, scratching the scruff on his chin.

"We're primate-descendants from Earth… Nothing special, really." Myra shrugged her shoulders briefly, "We're probably the only two you will see for a long time, especially in your neck of the woods." She said simply, grasping her empty beverage container and motioning to the waiter, who was walking by. The waiter grabbed it and shuffled off to get her another.

"Fascinating." Malek said, his eyes seemed to shimmer with many colours as he eyed her curiously, once again.

The speakers hummed with interference as Rick suddenly snatched the mic from the stand, "This guy bothering you, Morty?" He said, his brow beaded with perspiration as he glared at them.

Myra waved at him, gesturing for him to leave her alone and he snorted into the mic, and clipped it back onto the stand. He recommenced the song, tapping away with Squanchy and Bird Person.

"Bed Mates?" Malek chuckled in amusement, cocking his brow at her.

"Barely even friends." Myra said snidely, grasping a fresh drink from the waiter, and paying him accordingly.

"On my home world, we can have relations with friends; its only a superficial social construct preventing that, really." Malek stated, leaning back in the chair.

Myra snorted, "Oh we tried that; apparently there is the hazard of forming an emotional attachment, which I wanted to avoid entirely."

"Odd…" Malek said, leaning towards her, his eyes dancing with curious light once more, "Often it is the female that forms the emotional attachment."

"That's a rather sexist point-of-view." Myra shot back with a smirk, "It's not that at all, it was the fact that we fell into being in… well a proper 'committed' relationship. We weren't seeing other people and fell into the routine of just being us." Myra made a shuddering motion.

"Sounds…. Complicated." Malek said, cocking his brow again, "Monogamy tends to have that effect on some species, I assume." He said, making an indifferent motion, "On my planet intimate relations can be a communal thing, and the offspring raised by everyone; shared responsibility."

"Some of our primitive cultures used to operate like that." Myra stated, "Seemed like they had the right idea." She forced a chuckle, "Although the idea of having a child…." She screwed up her face.

"Your maternal instincts are strong." Malek teased her with the sarcastic comment.

Myra snorted, "I barely have the capacity to take care of myself, let alone a child." She laughed, "Besides, that seems like exactly the kind of eternal commitment I've been actively avoiding."

Malek tilted his head, "But children are the future of your genetic material; imagine instilling all of your wisdom upon something so malleable and bringing about genuine, impactful change?"

Myra pondered his words momentarily, "Like an extension of my own legacy…" She murmured, nodding her head slightly, "I suppose it would make the whole parenthood thing seem logical.' She shrugged slightly, "Still, I'd need to find a compatible mate… someone who possesses something I would want for the betterment of my own child." Her eyes suddenly wandered to Rick, "someone whose intelligence rivals my own."

She shook her head, as if to clear the unwanted thoughts from clouding her brain, "But such desires are irrelevant to me; it would still be an insufficient way to spend my time. Even if I were to pass along my knowledge, it would be far more effective to make a clone of myself."

"Essentially what children are…" Malek chuckled, leaning forward, "Enough of the heavy conversation." He said, waving his hand dismissively, "Tell me some facts about you, Myra from Earth."


Rick was feeling oddly distracted as he performed the last few songs of their set. His eyes continually wandered back to Myra, who seemed to be having a ball; she was letting out rare, genuine bouts of laughter as she conversed with the blue Bedazie. He hadn't really seen her trying to get into someone's pants before, but he imagined he was seeing it unfold.

The Flesh curtains let out one last, guttural cry, signalling the end of their final song, "Zombie Taint" and Rick leapt off the stage and started to stride over to Myra's table.

"Who's the delightful specimen, of blue space jizz, you've found, Morty?" Rick asked, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his forearm. He snatched her drink out of her hand, and received an irritated glare from her.

"Malek." The Bedazie said, "And you must be the fabled Rick Sanchez." Malek chuckled in amusement.

"All lies, I can a-assure you." Rick muttered sourly, "Wow, Morty I've never seen you actively trying to get it before." He grinned at her, "I-it's like watching some, rare, nature-documentary."

Myra rolled her eyes at him, "I implore you to ignore him." She chuckled, her cheeks flushing.

Rick let out a gasp, and pointed a finger in her face, "Oh my god!" He shouted loudly, "BP, Squanchy! Come here! M-morty Is blushing!" He cackled wildly for several moments, before his expression went dead-pan, "So is this a genuine pick-up, or are you giving her the roofie treatment?"

The Bedazie looked confused, "I'm not sure what you're…"

Rick shrugged his shoulders, "Y-you see, Morty, The Bedazie have become professionals at spreading t-their genetic material in all corners of th-the universe." He said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve something, "They've mastered the art o-of releasing a specialised cocktail of pheromones, personally tailored to each individual. T-they are highly aware of when a female i-is ovulating." He placed a small disc-like object on the table before them. Myra and Malek glanced at the object and it suddenly let out a burst of dust, which cascaded around them.

Dust particles suddenly started swirling around Malek, and floated back and forth between him and Myra.

"As I thought." Rick shook his head, in disappointment "You've been had, Morty. Such a shame too, I was interested to see how t-this whole thing would have panned out. Surprising th-that you've lasted this long; usually the seduction takes mere minutes." He whipped out a small spray-bottle and gave Myra a few squirts in the face.

She shook her head, as if she was waking from a foggy dream.

"She is surprisingly resistant." Malek sighed, shaking his head in disappointment, "She would have made the most unstoppable offspring."

Myra screwed up her face, and stood up in a huff, "I wanted to bang him!" She hissed in bewilderment, her eyes wide as she pointed accusingly at Malek.

Rick snorted, feeling amused, "Y-yeah… tends to happen when you a-are given a spritz of 'Eau De Baise Moi'."

She shook her head, as if attempting to get rid of a thought and then took in a deep breath, composing herself.

"I need the bathroom." She said, after a long pause.

She weaved through the tables and disappeared around the corner, leaving Rick and Malek staring into empty space.

"So… Earth…?" Malek grinned charmingly.

"Ugh, please dude… I-I can smell that shit a mile away. Besides, no currently functioning female parts, m-means no impregnation, Bro." Rick rolled his eyes and wandered back to the stage, where Squanchy and Bird Person were packing up their things.

"Looks like you ruined Myra's squanch session." Squanchy chuckled as he snapped a case closed.

"Trust me, sh-she's thrilled." Rick said matter-of-factly. "Nine months' time; s-she'll be thanking me." He shrugged his shoulders, "Even if that dude wasn't dosing her with his sex-spray; He's hardly her type."

"Does she even have a 'type'?" Bird Person asked with a frown, "I cannot say I have ever seen her make attempts at a mating ritual with anyone before."

"T-there's been a few times, with varying alien shlong…" Rick cocked his brow, "W-we've been to our fair share of orgies..." He shrugged his shoulders, "Can't say she has ever gone out o-of her way t-to get laid, though."

Squanchy gave him a smug look, "Who knows, maybe Myra's about to start squanching a whole bunch more."

They finished packing up their set and Rick lazily shoved the mound of equipment into a portal and watched as it disappeared. He jumped as he was suddenly punched roughly in the shoulder, and let out a series of curses. He turned to glare at Myra, who was mirroring his annoyance.

"W-what the actual fuck, Morty?" He snapped angrily.

"A simultaneous 'fuck you' and 'thank you'." Myra snapped at him, "I don't really have the energy, nor mindset for a long speech." She shrugged her shoulders, "So… thank you… and Fuck you."

Rick gave her a quizzical glance, "T-that dude was going to knock you up and leave you, Morty!" He was frowning, "W-would you have preferred I sit idly by and l-let that happen; knowingly?"

Myra frowned, "Ugh." She muttered in annoyance and threw her hands up into the air, "It's just so rare that I ever want to have sex with someone!" She snapped, "It's frustrating, Sanchez! Do you know how inebriated I usually have to get, in order to fuck someone?"

Rick was going to say something witty, about when they had been involved, but somehow managed to hold his tongue.

"On one level I know it's even stupid arguing about this, because the guy was essentially drugging me… but this other part of me is screaming at me for a possible lost opportunity." She shook her head, "Ugh it's so pointless even arguing about it, I really just should be thanking you… you were right… you usually are." She began mumbling, more so to herself than to him.

She suddenly looked up at him, her silvery eyes shadowed with confusion, "Thanks, Rick…" she sighed and threw something at him.

He glanced down at the piece of thick, black fabric, cocking his brow in confusion, "A blindfold?"

"Stop your winging and put it on…" She was smirking at him, though the humour was absent in her eyes.

"Kinky… but i-I'll allow it." He smirked back at her.

"Shut your gape." She grinned, "It's time for your bachelor party, asshole."